Love of Fire and Water
by Yemoya
Summary: Book Two. Stealing to get by becomes necessary to Zuko. Never did he think he could make a friend like that. The waterbender Kilara seems to accept him like he is. But will Kilara stay on Zuko's side, after Ba Sing Se gets conquered? While standing on two sides of a war can their friendship survive? Or will Kilara fight for her nation's freedom? Izumi's mother fic, canon compliant
1. Chapter 1

_Author's Note:_

_Hi, I'm just going to explain a few things here._

_First of all, I am not a native English speaker, so when you find any mistakes in the story, I'd be really glad if you'd just write them into a review, so that I can update the chapter with less mistakes. It would also help me to improve my English, so that I won't make as many mistakes in the future._

_I have never read a fanfiction before January 2019 and I was completely surprised and amazed by all these stories and ideas. I love writing and I got inspired pretty soon, but I didn't know if I was going to write my idea down or publish it, but as you can see I made my decision._

_This fan fiction is based on the fact that I am a Zutara fan, but I also like Kataang. I always wanted Katara and Zuko to be together, but I didn't want any jealousy or hostilitiy between Aang and Zuko again, so I'm okay with Kataang. Zuko and Aang are bros and that's what is most important to me. I actually also like Mai and I don't think that she's that apathetic, but I cannot see her being at Zuko's side as his wife or for their whole lives. And when Fire Lord Izumi finally showed up in LoK I got pretty frustrated that they still didn't tell us who Zuko's wife was. Comic Spoiler: And then Mai broke up with Zuko in the comics (I know she still has feelings for him and vice versa, but I'm just going to pretend that they are not going to be together again) and I was wondering, who Izumi's mother was. And since I totally like Zutara I just invented my own waterbender (who is not totally like Katara, that would be silly) who would actually develop feelings for Zuko and vice versa. I tried to pick up the best things about Zutara (enemies in the past, both stubborn and hot tempered, opposite elements, ninja missions, serious talks, teasing, blah blah blah, etc.) and to add them to my story without making my waterbender too much like Katara. I also wanted my story to be possible, i.e. to fit into the canon and into the comics, so there won't be any change in canon, since it is perfect as it is, in my opinion._

_That's it, I'm done with introducing my story and I hope you'll enjoy reading it!_

_I do not own Avatar The Last Airbender, nor its characters. The only characters I own are my OCs._

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**Chapter One**

**A Thief in the Night**

_**Kilara**_

In the nights of the full moon I've always had trouble sleeping. I've never liked to close my curtains or the shutters, so the moonlight could shine brightly and untrammelled into my room. But that's not what bothered me.

Inside of me, between my rips and my navel, it felt like something tug on my organs. This pull was powerful and made me restless. I just felt so awake underneath the full moon.

When I was younger I used to sneak outside of the house and go to the creek which marked the border of the grounds. Then I would stand in the water, barefoot, looking up at the moon and feel it's power running through my veins. I could feel the water in my body, I was fully aware of the creek and what lived in it. Sometimes I could even feel the people inside of the house, for they were full of water.

After a while then I would start bending. I loved the way the water flowed between the movements of my arms, how I could shape it to everything I wanted, to ice it and make it liquid again. It always felt like dancing to me, how I would twirl in the creek, making the water following me.

But that was before.

Now, I would just toss and turn in bed, waiting for the moon to set so I could finally get some sleep. Sometimes I would read scrolls or books, trying to keep myself distracted.

Tonight was a different night. The evening before had been unnerving and even without a full moon I wouldn't be able to get any sleep. I had a lot to think about. And to pout about and to complain about.

But to be fair, my uncle had given me time.

I didn't need to make a decision right now and I also didn't need to marry anyone until I would turn sixteen. Which was in seven months.

I snuggled deeper under my blanket and sighed.

Then I felt suddenly another source of water on the grounds. A person who made his or her way to the kitchen house.

I got up, put on some shoes and a dressing gown before I made my way to the person I could feel.

This person definitely didn't belong here.

_**Zuko **_

It was ridiculously easy to find the kitchen of this mansion. I just had to follow my nose. Relief went through me when I noticed the kitchen to be in a small house attached to the main house. Definitely better than last time when the kitchen had been in the basement.

I made it there quickly and silently. With a small dagger I managed to open the door without leaving a sign of the breaking.

Those rich Earth Kingdom idiots should rather invest their money into their safety than into their parties and looks.

I pulled out my bag and started looking for bread first. When I had what I wanted I searched for dried meat or fish. I grinned to myself when I found both. The faint smell of tea leaves came to my nose and I could nearly hear my Uncle scolding me for stealing food. Frowning I moved to another part of the kitchen, looking for fruits and vegetables, when a shadow cast over the floor.

I dropped the food sack, quickly pulled out my swords and settled into a fighting stance, looking at the person at the door.

In front of me stood a girl in a white expensive looking dressing gown. I could make out flowery patterns made of lace on her collar which covered her chest to her collarbones. Her brown hair was tied in a bun, but some strands danced around her cheeks and neck. Her skin looked pale in the moonlight, but I could still see that it was much darker than mine. Her eyes were sparkling blue. She was smaller than me, but seemed to be my age, maybe even older. Even with this to know, I couldn't help but wonder, what the Avatar's waterbender did here and if he was maybe nearby. Only when she moved, my mind registered that this girl was not the Avatar's waterbender. Just some other Water Tribe girl.

I frowned in confusion, wondering what a Water Tribe girl was doing in such fine clothing in such a fine mansion in the Earth Kingdom.

But then again, if she knew who I was, she'd probably be thinking the same.

The metal of my swords reflected some light and she took a hesitant step back, looking slightly frightened.

Good. She should just turn around and leave me be. I could still make it out of here with the food.

_**Kilara **_

Goosebumps covered my skin and my whole body stilled when I saw him. It was just my luck that I had to run into a demonic spirit. Would it eat me? Or simply kill me?

But I noticed his face to be blue, so I wondered if he was a water spirit and maybe because of me being half Water Tribe and a waterbender he would leave me be.

The spirit was definitely a him. There was nothing soft or curvy about his appearance. Even though his clothes were a bit loose there was no mistaking his muscular body.

Wait a second. He wore clothes. Loose and dirty clothes.

I narrowed my eyes at his swords, figuring that he was just a guy hiding behind a water spirit mask.

"What are you doing here?", I asked, hoping my voice would sound strong and confident, demanding.

The man didn't move at first and clearly was not going to answer, but then he picked up a full bag and held one of his swords in my direction.

Slowly he made his way towards me.

"Answer my question!" I said in my best order voice.

He stopped in his tracks for a moment, but then continued walking towards me.

I took several steps back, for I certainly didn't want to feel his sword in my stomach.

"You're a thief, aren't you?" I squared my shoulders the best I could and felt for a water source. I would just encase him in ice while distracting him with my questions. "Feeling good because of it?" I added a teasing and provoking tone to my voice. Behind him in the kitchen was a big water tank. I concentrated on the water, having it already in my grasp without doing anything else than clenching my hand into a fist. "Clearly you think that you are better than the people you steal from. That you deserve whatever you're stealing. You feel smart, don't you?" I backed away again, since he had made a fast move towards me, swinging his sword in a deadly manner. I swallowed. No, I would end this. I would stop him. There is nothing honourable about stealing and I would not let him get away like this. Not when he was trying to steal from my family. So I quickly pulled a big amount of water towards me, wanting to splash him from behind.

But I hadn't known that he would be so quick. He dropped the bag of food and dodged the water, so that it nearly hit me. But my grip on the water was too tight and I quickly sent a wave and a whip towards him, nearly at the same time, moving into the stances with ease from years of practice.

The masked thief truly was a good fighter. He used his swords to cut through my water whips and dodged the waves I sent towards him, always a small bit too fast for me. He didn't stand still for one second and moved through our fight with an ease and grace that only belonged to experienced warriors. But I didn't give up, sending a dozen water whips in his direction when I noticed what he was doing. He was trying to tire me.

Narrowing my eyes I chased him down to the creek without touching him one time with water. But there was enough water now nearby and he wouldn't be fast enough to dodge a wave as big as this.

I raised my arms quickly, the water rising immediately due to the full moon. I created several tentacles and waves, attacking him from every side, moving my arms fast and powerfully.

There was just too much water and I quickly had him in an orb. I put some water down to reveal his head and froze the water.

He wiggled frantically, articulating quiet sounds of anger while he was trying to get out of my small iceberg.

Cautiously I approached him, still waiting if he had something up his sleeve to get him out of the ice. But there was nothing.

Suddenly he stilled, looking in my direction as I came closer.

I didn't feel very smug or victorious since the fight had been longer than I had anticipated. I was a pretty good waterbender, nearly a master and it was the full moon, dammit! I should have won within a blink of an eye.

I felt angry about him being able to fight so good, but I was also curious. Why did such a highly skilled warrior need to steal food?

My feet touched the ice and I reached out to his mask, wanting to see what was underneath.

That was when he finally moved, flinching and trying to move his head away. Huh, so he didn't want me to take the mask off his face.

But I still did it. It was not easy, since it was bound tightly behind his head and he was still wiggling his head, so that I couldn't get a good grip on the knot, but I managed to take his mask.

Underneath was someone who I would have never expected.

It was a boy. A teenage boy around my age.

Suddenly I felt very impressed by his fighting.

Short black hair stood from his head in every direction and his pale skin looked nearly as white as the moon herself.

The left side of his face was badly scarred, damaged to an angry reddish purple colour and a texture which looked like lizard skin with some unevenness.

I figured it was a burn scar. I had seen enough of them since the day I discovered I had healing abilities, so I knew just fine how they looked like. Spirits, that must have hurt! There were no eyelashes around his eye nor an eyebrow and even his ear was damaged.

Both his eyes were narrowed and an angry scowl covered his face.

I crossed my arms underneath my chest, still holding the blue mask. A frown tugged at my mouth. "Why were you stealing food?", I asked.

His eyes even narrowed more, but then he simply looked away, not bothering for an answer.

Now it was my turn to scowl. "Answer when I ask you something!"

His head snapped back at me, his right eye suddenly more open, although his left kept narrowed, as his eyebrow moved into a frown. "Don't speak to me like that!", he growled, his voice raspy and rather deep for his age.

A slight shiver ran down my spine which I chose to ignore. "And why shouldn't I, thief?"

He didn't answer again, only scowling more if that was even possible. "Let me go", he finally said, his voice full of anger.

I smirked at that. Did he really expect me to let him go? Never. I would deliver him to my uncle who would decide what would be about to happen to him.

"Let me go!", he snapped again. "Or else I will hurt you really badly."

I suppressed the urge to back away. "First you would need to get out of the ice", I stated in a voice more confident than I felt like.

"I can get out", he simply said. "I'd just appreciate it not to show you."

My frown deepened, but instead of pondering on his words I stamped my hands on my hips, and leaned in even a bit closer. "I'll decide if I let you go when you tell me why you were stealing food."

_**Zuko**_

Dammit, that was just my luck to get encased in ice again. I really didn't like that, but it wasn't as if I could just firebend me out of here. Well, I could, but it wouldn't be very smart. I was a thief now and I didn't want to give her one more reason to contempt me.

I hadn't had a lot contact with Earth Kingdom people before, but sometime I would overhear people talking. They were angry with the Fire Nation, especially firebenders. That's exactly why I used my swords.

But unless they developed a will of their own, they wouldn't be able to help me escape.

Water Tribe girls must really love to encase their opponents in ice.

I felt so angry that it was really difficult to not heat my body. This stupid waterbender who was for whatever reason in the Earth Kingdom had been able to take me down! It just wasn't fair to me. It showed me only more what a failure I was.

I would never be able to return home. I would never see the gardens of the palace again nor would I become Fire Lord one day.

My anger was so omnipresent that I nearly couldn't understand what she said.

"What do you mean? You wouldn't let me go, so don't pretend you'd do!", I snarled.

Her eyes narrowed a bit, she then rolled them and looked to the side. "Okay, fine, I wouldn't let you go. But my uncle might. It depends on your reason for stealing food."

Now it was my turn to roll my eyes. "Well, what do you think why people steal food? It's clearly not for fun!"

The girl frowned and moved her lower lip to the side while she looked me up and down. Suddenly it felt like there was something alive inside the ice. A presence which surrounded me and felt almost like water. But the ice didn't liquefy one bit.

"Soooo…" the girl said slowly. "…you don't have any food of your own?"

"No." I hoped she would just finish this nonsense and let me go. I had no desire to stay in the ice for longer. What if I would catch a cold?

Her facial expression changed suddenly. Instead of looking angry and demanding, she looked sad. I knew this look all too well. Pity. How much I hated that!

As suddenly as it had appeared on her face, it disappeared again. A look of confusion crossed her features. "You… How could such a highly skilled warrior not have any money to buy food?", she asked, sounding suspicious.

"I just don't. I don't have a job, so I don't have money!" My eyes narrowed angrily at her. This was so humiliating! I didn't only have to steal; I had to explain myself and actions now to a teenage waterbender!

"And why don't you have a job?", she asked in an innocent sounding voice. Too innocent.

She probably thought that I just didn't want to work and rather use my skills to steal to make myself a comfortable life. Well, that wasn't that wrong.

But I was also a fugitive and Uncle and I couldn't afford to stay in one place for several days so that I could work to earn us some money. Only one day more in one place could be our death sentence.

"I… I can't stay in one place for too long. That's not quite helpful for getting a job", I answered nonchalantly.

"And why can't you stay in one place for too long?", the girl asked, almost sounding bored.

I frowned angrily. "That's none of your business!", I snapped.

She came closer, getting all in my space and narrowing her eyes. Her finger poked in the ice, where my chest was. "But you are my business! You broke into my family's house, tried to steal our food and I prevented you from actually do it! So until I don't know why you're here or why you can't stay in one place, you are so my business!"

I had moved my head a bit away from her, since I hated it when people got near me. But I had still been able to catch some of her scent. Fresh like rain and something that smelled like a flower, but also reminded me of tea. I couldn't help but notice that it was a nice scent. Not too girly anyway.

"I'm getting more and more tempted to just free me myself!", I hissed, hoping to frighten her somehow.

"I'd like to see you try." She sounded overconfident, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

Oh dragons! How could I get out of here without having to reveal my firebending?!

"There's no way you could get out of there unless you were a waterbender yourself which you are clearly not. I have trained with Earthbenders and I know that they cannot get out of ice by themselves." She again started to poke into the ice and narrowed her eyes a bit. "And you cannot escape with dual dao swords!"

I couldn't help but be surprised that she knew the actual name for my weapons. Most people called them just double or broad swords.

The girl suddenly took a step away, gasping, her eyes wide with shock. What the hell? "You're from the Fire Nation", she whispered.

I've never been good at lying or denying the truth, nor have I ever been a good actor, so I couldn't pretend to be shocked at her words. In the back oy my mind I wondered how she had come to that conclusion.

But it just had been too many prejudices, too much hatred, too much contempt and fear. I've had enough.

"So?!", I snapped. "Am I therefore a bad person who deserves nothing but hatred?!" It was out now and I didn't care anymore, hot air left my nose and the ice around me melted away from my body heat.

I kept the heat up, wanting to steam myself dry and getting warm again.

The girl gasped, taking one more step back. "You're a…" Suddenly she cocked her head to the side, looking confused and curious. "Why didn't you fight with firebending?"

My frown deepened, but it was more one of surprise than anger now. Why did she care?

"Does that matter?" I brought my swords together and sheathed them.

"I was just being curious." She shrugged and hugged herself around the waist, shivering slightly. "Are you… a soldier?", she asked, biting her lip.

Wow. I being a firebender in the Earth Kingdom had never brought up this curiosity in a person.

"No", I said lowly.

"Then… what are you doing here? I mean, in the Earth Kingdom. Well, the free, not occupied Earth Kingdom."

"I… That was not intentional. Not totally." I rubbed my neck, not feeling comfortable under her searching and judging gaze. I then noticed that she wasn't in a fighting stance anymore. How stupid. She couldn't be sure that I was not going to attack her again. How utterly stupid.

I quickly charged forward, one flame in my left fist, sending it to her right side and while she concentrated on this, I shot another fire ball right before her feet, causing a little explosion and knocking her to the ground.

She hissed out of pain and anger while she rubbed her back. Dragons, why did she rub her back in the middle of a fight?

"Stop that!", I growled.

She looked up at me in confusion. "What?"

"You're getting distracted too easily", I told her. "Just because I wasn't attacking you before doesn't mean that you can let your guard down."

Her surprised look probably matched mine. Why the hell was I instructing her?

"And now that! I just attacked you and you are not moving, only rubbing your stupid back!", I snarled angrily.

She frowned at me again. "Yes, you did attack me, but you weren't going to hurt me. You could have easily done so if you wanted to, but you only sent me on my butt."

I was clearly taken aback at her words. Well, she was right, but she couldn't have known that!

Quickly I rushed towards her, grabbing her wrists and holding them to the ground, pressing my body to hers, so that she couldn't move nor fight.

"You cannot know that for sure!", I growled, perceiving her scent again and fighting to ignore a shiver that ran down my spine. "You are completely defenceless now! You could have stopped me doing this, but your confidence and pride seem to threaten your senses! Are you always that careless with your life and safety?"

She narrowed her eyes again, looking angry to my relief. "I'm not too confident, nor too proud. And you might be from the Fire Nation and a firebender, but you also seem to be running away from something and hiding in the Earth Kingdom. You are a starving teenager and not a ruthless killer. You might want me to be afraid of you and maybe I am. A little bit, since I don't know you and now that I think of it, you truly could be a ruthless killer despite your age. You could even be a rapist since you are pinning me to the ground. Like a rapist!", she shot back while blabbering a little in the middle of her monologue.

I drew back as if I had burnt myself and sat down a few feet away from her. Bending my legs I let my arms drop to my knees. "I'm not a rapist!", I snapped. "And I certainly would never rape anyone! That is a disgusting und most dishonourable thing to do! And I have never killed anybody!"

As the girl sat up, I couldn't help but notice a smug expression on her face. She mirrored me, bending her legs and laying her arms on her knees. "Then I don't have anything to fear, do I?"

I blinked and didn't know what to say.

We stared at each other for a while, maybe seconds or even minutes. I didn't know what lingering here would now gain me, since I wouldn't try to steal the food again, but I also couldn't leave because that felt too much like giving up.

While I stared at her, I became curious myself.

A waterbender in the Earth Kingdom who didn't hate me simply for what I am. We had fought, but for another reason and now there was no hostility left.

I noticed that her eyes weren't all blue. They had a tint of green, nearly looking turquoise. That reminded me of my favourite beach on Ember Island with white sand, where the ocean had exactly that colour.

"What about a deal?", the girl asked, looking curious.

Quickly I put my guard back up and narrowed my eyes (or eye) at her. "What deal?"

"You answer my questions without being rude or lying. And I let you have some food, I even help you gather it and I can cook you some meals that you can take with you or eat now." She held her chin slightly higher, challenging me with that suggestion.

Answering her questions without lying? Hell, no. I wouldn't tell her anything. She already knew too much.

But my stomach didn't agree with me at all. It gave out a loud growl, clenching and annoying me. Life would be so much easier without having to eat.

But no, I could still get food elsewhere. I wouldn't get a warm meal, that was for sure and I didn't know how to cook, so it also wouldn't taste that good, but I still couldn't accept.

I continued to glare at her, when my stomach protested again. Urrgghhh! I was so fed up with being hungry and not eating something proper and stealing, for it was a dishonourable thing to do, and sleeping in the dirt and urgh! Just everything! I even missed Uncle's tea.

I was proud, always had been and always will be. But I was not a complete idiot. And I was human. So I needed and wanted to eat.

Swallowing my pride I inclined my head a bit. "I accept, if you answer my questions as well."

She frowned in confusion. "What could you possibly want to ask me?"

I cocked my head to the side. "Like what does a waterbender do in the Earth Kingdom?"

"Oh. Well, okay. We have a deal." With that she stood up, motioning for me to follow her.

I was still cautious, since it all could be a trap, but I followed her to the kitchen. She grabbed up my bag and put it onto the countertop. "Would you mind making some light?", she asked while going through the stuff I had wanted to steal.

I looked around, noticing a few lamps around the walls and one giant lamp in the middle of the kitchen. I exhaled deeply and concentrated on the lamps, trying to focus. I inhaled and exhaled again, then I shot out several little fire blasts lighting every lamp, but not burning anything else.

Pleased with my work I allowed myself to smile a little bit. Precise fire shots had never been easy for me.

"So… I'll just start with the questions", the girl said. "What's your name?"

Zuko. I really almost said that.

"Err… You can call me Lee", I said, rubbing my neck with my left hand. I walked to where she had dropped my mask and took it into my hands, examining it for scratches. Suddenly I noticed that I was being rude for not wanting to know her name. "Erm, what's your name?"

She was busy going through pans and pots in the cupboard. Finally she rose to her feet with a pot and putting it onto the stove. "You can call me La."

I frowned. That was her name?

Well, it fit, since it was also the ocean spirit's name, but I didn't know that Water people named their children after their spirits. Fire people certainly didn't name their children after the Great Dragons, for it were sacred names.

Uncle had given me lessons on the Water Tribe culture and spirits, while we had been floating on that damn piece of wood that dared to be called a raft. First, I had rejected his attempts to get me to listen, but he had explained to me why he had defended the moon spirit and why I should not ignore it. After all, we had only had the moon and the ocean out there and since we didn't die, but managed to find shore Uncle had been very smug. He believed that his prayers and belief had brought us to safety, not my navigation skills. I had learned a lot on my ship, since I wanted to know everything about… well, everything. I didn't like to rely on people and had worked out our course myself (with a little help from Lieutenant Jee sometimes), I had checked on the engines and the ovens, even the food. I hadn't cared about what the cook made of the food, but I had cared about me and my crew getting enough proteins and vitamins. Once, I even had convinced the cook to make special diet food for my uncle, but that hadn't done anything to his stomach. I had suspected him to hide cookies or cakes in his chambers.

La looked over her shoulder at me and raised her eyebrows in a sarcastic manner which meant that La was not her real name. So she had decided to not tell me her name, since she had noticed that I had been lying about mine.

I tried not to look guilty. "So… er, you live here?" I changed the subject.

"Yes. For now. It is my uncle's house. My mother is gone and my father is off studying… well, something in the Fire Nation. Probably history."

My eyebrows shot up. "How is he doing that?"

La filled a pot with some small light brown things I had never seen before. "Talking to people in the Fire Nation? Reading Fire Nation books?"

"So he currently is in the Fire Nation?", I pressed.

"Yes, he is. Now it's my turn. Who are you running from?" She poured milk into the pot and stirred the inside with a cooking spoon.

O dragon. She really got down to business. "My sister", I simply said.

La shot me a quick look. "Why would you run from her?"

I flinched a bit, not knowing how to say the next things. "I was set a mission by my father. But I didn't manage to accomplish it and now he…" Wanted me imprisoned, stripped of any rank and name. He took my birth right from me and humiliated me. Not that I didn't deserve it. The Avatar had already been mine, but I hadn't planned for bad weather or anything else unpleasant. So it was my own fault that he'd gotten away. "Well, I have been disinherited and my sister has been sent after me. She is to bring me back so that I…" will be imprisoned. "…can face my punishment."

"Punishment? That sounds a bit too grave. Are you sure your own father wants to do that to you?"

I nearly dropped my jar to the floor. "What? You've never been punished by yours?"

"No. Not really." Her mouth twisted in thought and she added: "Well, he can get angry and would even yell at me, but I don't remember being punished for anything in my whole life."

Anger and envy rose up quickly inside of me and I couldn't help but be reminded of Azula. Loved and cherished daughters who would never be hurt by their fathers.

"Then again, my father is not really one for punishment. When I did something bad he simply told me why that was bad and how I could do it better or why I shouldn't do it again. And when I listened to him, he would buy me some honeybuns or sugarcakes."

I shuddered at the thought of those. They were a common treat in the Earth Kingdom and Uncle loved them. Almost two years ago when my ship had first landed on Earth Kingdom territory Uncle had pulled me with him, looking excited (I thought he had heard or seen something important about the Avatar's whereabouts), and introduced me to a sweets shop. I had never seen such a thing and the amount of sugar in there had been frightening. That day I had eaten Earth Kingdom sweets for the first and last time.

La stopped stirring the inside of the pot and went to cut a moon peach, which I really liked. Although I only enjoyed moon peaches when the flesh was hard and when they tasted more sour than sweet.

"Altogether I'd say that my father is just a pacifist."

I stared at La for a few seconds, not knowing what to make of this statement, when I sighed. Wow, we couldn't be more different.

"You enjoy talking about him, don't you?", I asked, trying to sound gentle, while I kept looking at her.

"Oh, yes." For some reason she sounded sad saying that. "You don't enjoy talking about yours, do you?"

"No, I don't", I said quietly, adverting my gaze when she turned to look at me.

"Then, what about your mother? Does she want you to face your punishment, too?", La asked hesitantly.

I frowned, fighting the memories of happier days, when I had felt whole. When my family had still been whole and everyone had had their place.

Not even then had I had a close relationship to my sister, for she had loved to embarrass, humiliate and insult me the best way she could. But at that age her ideas hadn't been grave and sometimes we even had fun playing. I had accepted that she always wanted to be the best and let her be it, but that hadn't been enough for her. She had to be the best and I had to be a weak worm.

Father had never been loving or caring towards me, not even towards Azula, but he hadn't been so frightening either.

And Mother… She had been the source of all my happiness. She had made me laugh, had comforted me when I had felt weak and had made me feel more confident, too. She had encouraged me that if I kept trying I could manage everything.

"I don't know. She is… not around", I answered honestly.

La glanced at me, frowning. "What happened to her?" She added the moon peach to the pot, along with a spoon of something brown and some seeds.

I swallowed, moving towards the window and staring out at the full moon. "She… disappeared. I was ten."

La blinked at me, stunned. "Just like that? Without saying goodbye?"

"No. She did come to me that night. She said that everything she had done, she had done to protect me. And that I should never forget who I am. I think that somehow my father made her leave. A lot happened that night and because of that my father suddenly… had a higher rank. But I…" I dwelled on that for quite some time, not noticing La finishing my meal or that she kept the silence between us. I've never told that anybody. Not even Uncle knew what I was thinking about that night. Maybe I just needed to get that out of my head, to talk about it. Uncle always said that keeping things locked up didn't help and often only made it worse.

After a while I felt a hand on my arm and I noticed that it had been there for a while now. I looked up to see La standing close to me, a gentle expression on her face. She looked nice like that. Friendly and pretty.

"I'm sorry for your loss. She clearly loved you a lot, just like a mother should." La drew her hand back and that spot on my arm suddenly felt cold and lonely.

I frowned at my arm, noticing that this girl had woken up some of my teenager hormones.

My gaze went back to her, as she looked at the moon, too. "That is something we have in common. My mother died. Fire Nation soldiers."

I gasped and stepped back a bit. That was so wrong. My nation was supposed to bring wealth and progress to the Earth Kingdom. I was not so naïve to think that war went on without a loss of lives, but I had never imagined things to be so grave. Nearly every person from the Earth Kingdom and certainly also from the Southern Water Tribe had at least one family member lost in the war.

"Okay, so why do you not hate me? Everyone who is not from the Fire Nation seems to hate the Fire Nation. You even lost someone to this war. I wanted to steal your food and when you found out that I'm from the Fire Nation, you should have… you shouldn't be so…" Oh no. I hated it when I came to a loss of words.

"What? I shouldn't be so what?" La raised her eyebrows and looked up at me with those turquoise eyes. I noticed that she had pitch black eyelashes though she had brown hair.

"Nice?", I tried. "Don't you see where I'm getting at?"

"Yes, I do. And honestly, a few months ago I might have taken my anger out on you", she admitted, her eyes cast down and her hands folded. "My mother… Well, I was really angry and desperate. I needed someone to be responsible for her death and it was all too easy to accept the hatred for the Fire Nation, since everyone is doing so, but my dad… He told me that not everyone from the Fire Nation is bad and that many people there even don't want the war, for it only takes their beloved ones. My dad has been to the Fire Nation quite often and he has friends there. A few months ago I went there with him and it was okay. There were things I couldn't stand and I became furious about some things, but I've seen that my father is right. There was a lot of propaganda over there and the children are already fed with lies. For example that the genocide on the Air Nomads was necessary to protect the Fire Nation and that the Fire Lords are all great and good." She sighed, wrapping her arms around herself again. "But who am I to tell you about that? Clearly you have heard all these lies your whole life."

I swallowed and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Yes, I have." My voice nearly hadn't any sound and I coughed a few times.

"Well… are you still hungry? I made you something extraordinarily delicious." La forced a smile on her face and rushed back to the stove. I was glad that she had changed the subject. She put large spoons of a light brown porridge in a bowl and I had trouble to keep my face from grimacing. That didn't look delicious at all. Oh, I would give anything for some fried meat and fire flakes. O fried potato plantains. Or the dragon soup.

Concentrating on keeping a friendly face I took the bowl from her and the chopsticks she handed me. La gestured to some stools around a high table and we sat there facing each other.

"Thank you", I said and bowed my head slightly. Then I took a bite from the porridge with my chopsticks and… was surprised to find it spicy and sweet as well.

I licked my lips and decided that I liked that porridge. The texture wasn't slimy at all, more like the inside of warm and fresh bread. The whole porridge tasted a bit like almonds and the cooked peaches made it sweet and sour.

"That's the only thing I can cook", La suddenly said. "Tu Ling, a friend of my father's showed it to me when we were visiting her in the Fire Nation. It actually is a breakfast meal, but it will be light in two hours, so… Well, I hope you like it."

I nodded and kept eating. And to be honest, I was so hungry that I would have eaten almost everything.

La smiled at me and put her hands on the table.

Suddenly I felt a little uncomfortable because she was looking at me and I tried to avert my gaze.

"So, Lee… Do you have a family member that doesn't want you to face punishment or who is still around and cares about you? Someone who could help you in your current situation?"

"Yes. Well, no." I frowned, wondering if Uncle still cared about me, for I had left him. Was he angry with me about that? He had said that he saw me like his own son, but look at what my real father has done to me. "I travelled with my Uncle", I finally said. "But we parted ways a little more than a week ago."

"Oh. But you like him? And trust him?"

I sighed, now looking at her. "Yes, I do. He can be annoying with his obsession over tea or his proverbs and talking love and peace the whole time." I looked down at my meal again and smiled, when something else about Uncle came to my mind. "I also hate it when he's flirting with women. That happens rather often."

La chuckled softly and I found that I liked the sound of it.

"He is also obsessed with pai sho. He plays it every day and keeps his lotus tile with him the whole time. Maybe he thinks it is a lucky charm. Once, he thought he had lost it and he changed our whole travelling route, just so that we came to a port city and Uncle could find a new lotus tile. But he didn't find one. But a whole lot of other garbage."

La raised her eyebrows in amused anticipation and I wondered why I told her all this stuff.

"Decoration and music instruments, parchment with flowers on it, a kite, new clothes of course and a really awful looking hat", I continued.

Again La chuckled and I saw a glint in her eyes. "He seems like a funny and nice man", she finally said.

"He is. I can never laugh at his jokes, but most people think they are great. And he's always been nice to me. The last years weren't easy and I was…" A slight heat crept up my neck at what I was about to say. "…difficult. I have been rude and angry all the time. But my Uncle just bore it, for he knew that I needed someone to be there."

"Well, you still can be rude", La replied in a mocking voice, taking a bit of the seriousness from the situation.

I just shot her a flat gaze and she chuckled again.

"But why did you part ways?", she then asked.

I nearly choked on my next bite. "Because I wanted it."

"And now you regret it?"

I looked at her, feeling surprised that she had known what I felt. "Yes. This life might not go like I want it to, but it's been better with him."

"I'm sure you'll meet again and then you can travel together again. By the way, do you have any plans for your further travel?"

I merely shook my head.

"If you go east, you will come through a valley with vast orchards and far more fruits that you can eat. Of course they belong to someone, but I'm sure you'll find a way." She smirked at me and I was suddenly surprised again.

"Now you think stealing is okay?"

"No, of course it's not. But distributing goods is important and when people who have less help themselves to distribute the goods fairly I'm totally okay with that."

She actually managed to get a chuckle out of me, which surprised me a lot.

"But now, tell me what are you doing here? You belong in the Water Tribe, not here between rice fields and deserts."

La shrugged at that. "I don't think that there really is a place I belong. I can see any place as home, as long as my brother is with me. I've never been to a Water Tribe. I was born in Gaoling and lived on Kyoshi and in Makapu Village for some years. After mother's death we moved here."

I frowned. "How come that you've been born here? Why were your parents not still with the Water Tribe?"

"My mother is from the Northern Water Tribe. She was a bender, but couldn't use her power to defend her home and the people she loved. She was only taught how to heal with waterbending. The Northern Tribe is really old fashioned, when it comes to gender roles. My mother knew that she could never be happy there. So she left and went to travel the world. She healed a lot of victims of the war here in the Earth Kingdom and taught herself how to fight with waterbending. Once, she healed a wound of my father's from a Fire Nation raid and the rest is history."

"So your father is from the Earth Kingdom?"

La nodded. "Well, his father is. But his mother is from the Fire Nation."

My eyes were probably as large as saucers while I stared at La.

A small smile tugged at her lips. "He is from the colonies. My grandmother's family cast her out because she fell in love with an Earth Kingdom man. But he cared for her and they got married. My father told me that it wasn't easy for his father as well. To find himself suddenly falling in love with an ashmonster."

My jaw tightened at that word. I've never heard that insult, but I certainly didn't like it. But I swallowed my anger and carefully kept my voice neutral. "So, you are practically from three nations," I stated.

"Actually, my mother even had Air Nomad ancestors," La said quietly.

"What?" I shouted, nearly spitting out my food.

La smirked. "The Air Nomads got their name for a reason, you know. My mother's great-grandmother travelled the world within a small group of Air Nomads and fell in love with a man from the Northern Water Tribe. She stayed with him and they married. My mother's grandmother was even an airbender. After the genocide my great-grandmother was maybe the last airbender, except for the Avatar of course. But none of her children became an airbender, too. My grandmother died in a young age and the Water healers suspected the imbalance of the world to be the cause of it," La said softly, her eyes fixed on the floor.

Wow, that was some ancestry. And the most different one from my own that I could have imagined. So many marriages because of love, not because of profits or advantages. People from all over the world accepting each other, despite their different elements. I had a difficult time processing all of that.

"I'm sorry for…," I began, but now I didn't know how to continue. "…for what my nation did. It was not right."

La shot me a kind smile. "Don't apologise. You have nothing to do with that. It is the people on top who decide and we can't do anything about it."

Maybe she couldn't. But I could.

My father might want me imprisoned, but I was still the rightful heir to the Throne of the Sun. If he accepted me, I would become Fire Lord one day and then no one could stop me from making things right. Or righter, since I didn't believe the Fire Nation generals would accept a truce. They were so taken by the war, that they even sacrificed our soldiers and our people. The world was like a board game to them, but I have seen the truth in my father's war room. And now the truth shouted in my face, the whole time.

I knew what was right, but I also knew my place. And everything inside of me ached to be at home. I so badly wanted to be where fire lilies would grow, where turtle ducks swam in the ponds and creeks and where the sun was so hot it felt as if it would burn you.

I silently finished my meal, while La kept staring at me. She probably wanted to know where I got my scar from, but didn't find the courage to ask. I tried to ignore her insistent stare.

When I was finished she got up and collected food that wouldn't go off quickly. She used to ask me what I liked and didn't like.

"Wow, you are picky!" she laughed.

I shrugged.

"Your father… you said, he received a higher rank. Is he an important person in the military?"

I stiffened and averted my gaze again. "Yes, you could say it like that," I muttered.

"Are you nobles?"

Damn, did she figure out who I was?

La pulled dried hippobeef out of a cupboard and folded paper around it. "I'm just asking, because you… give yourself like that. You stand and sit upright and the way you articulate is also proper to Fire Nation nobles."

I frowned. "Just because I have a Fire Nation accent I have to be noble?"

La shook her head. "No, not at all. But I was taught the linguistic differences of every people and their ranks by my father," she replied proudly.

Then she had certainly done a good job. But the problem was that there was no way denying it now. She knew if I'd lie.

Somehow she had guessed all my feelings correctly and there was no point lying to intelligent eyes like that. Not cruel intelligent like my sister's, but curious, friendly intelligent eyes. She seemed to be that kind of person who liked to learn just for knowledge's sake, not for knowledge about your enemy's weak points.

I decided to not say anything about being noble or not. "Is your father a simple researcher and explorer or is he also a professor?" I asked.

La stiffened a bit and I knew that I had been right. "He's also a professor. He used to teach at the University of Gaoling, but now he's in Ba Sing Se."

My eyes widened. "Isn't that far away from here?"

"Yeah, it is. You have to travel several weeks," she said sadly.

Well, our families might be different in the way they're thinking, but we both lost our mothers, were with our uncles and had fathers who weren't there.

"But you'll go back to Ba Sing Se with him when he'll return, won't you?" I wanted to know.

"No, I won't. My father says the city isn't as perfect as it seems and that I couldn't bear the injustices there. I wouldn't fit in. That's why he never wanted me to go there with him."

I frowned and clenched my hands to fists. "That is not fair! Even if what he says is right, you are not a child anymore. You'd know what to do and how to behave! I mean, you have a right to be with him. He's your father!" I growled angrily, but knew that I overreacted because of my own situation.

La looked surprised by my outburst and smiled then. "Thank you. You are right, I think I could take it, but I know that he is right himself. He wouldn't say that if it weren't true. I'm sad that I don't see him as often as I would like to." She let a dry laugh escape her lips. "Actually, I am furious!" She stood up to her full height, her eyes glinted and her hands curled to fists. "I mean, he gets to be out there! He can go anywhere he wants to and studying and meeting different people and that's what I want to do, too! But my uncle thinks the best for a girl is to get married and not to study!" Now she rolled her eyes and sighed, her body relaxing a bit. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled like that."

"No, it's okay. I understand that. I wouldn't want my uncle to decide for me who to marry, either," I said.

La smirked sarcastically. "Yeah, because that is actually the same. You know your uncle wouldn't do that!"

"Probably. But if I were in the Fire Nation I also couldn't decide who I wanted to be with. Well, not freely. It all would depend on my father's approval and he is really hard to please. He probably would only accept someone for me who is exactly like my sister," I said darkly.

"Eeewww! I have a brother and I would certainly vomit the moment I had to marry someone like him." La shuddered a bit for emphasis and I smiled a bit. "That's why my wooers are down to five now. Hao and Shang were a bit too much like my brother."

Suddenly I got what she was saying. "So, you already have to decide now?"

"Yeah. My uncle has invited some potential husbands for me over now for weeks. He thinks I wouldn't get what he's doing, but I know that he wants me to be married when I'll reach the age of sixteen."

"You don't want to marry at all?"

She shook her head. "Not one of them. And not in seven months. I want to be older and I don't want to be a woman who stays at home, running the household and bearing one child after the other. I want to study and to travel the world like my father," she added silently.

I felt something like pity for her, although it made me feel bad, too. As if I would feel her desperation.

She forced a smile on her face and tugged some strand of hair behind her ears. "But who am I to complain? My life is not bad. I have people who love me, a roof on top of my head and am never starving. There are even servants."

I was thinking about the years after my mother had disappeared and how I had clung to my uncle. "Sometimes that is not enough to be truly happy," I said hoarsely.

"Self-realisation, I know. What is yours?" she asked innocently and I gasped slightly.

I couldn't tell her that!

"I want to be what my father is," I answered carefully. "I have been trained to be like him, to do what he does. But with him thinking of me as a failure I might never be able to fulfil my destiny." I looked down, wishing I had more hair that would cover my face. My fists clenched again and I grew angry about all the things I revealed here.

"So you want to have his rank in the military? You want to make war?" La asked, sounding shocked and looked at me with eyes wide open, in which I could see hurt.

"No," I quickly said. "I don't want to do the exact same things he does. It's just… with his rank I could work on making things better. Keeping soldiers home, not sending them off to war."

"Wow. You father must be something like the right hand of the Fire Lord, if he can decide on those matters," La said, sounding impressed and disgusted at the same time. Not that I'd blame her.

"Well, military officers of the Fire Nation can actually do as they please with their soldiers. The only rule is to use the soldiers to gain more land in the Earth Kingdom. Only when an order from above is received, the officers have to obey. And even then they only care about results, since it also is the only thing the Fire Lord cares about." Again I was thinking about my childhood. How unfair it had seemed that Azula didn't put any effort in anything, but still made everything right. But I had tried hard, I had made an effort all the time, but Father didn't care how much I strained myself. In the end I wasn't as good as Azula and that was what mattered to him.

"Have you met him?" La asked quietly, while she put prepared meals into my bag.

"Yes, I have. I've been at his coronation and I had been there when my father got promoted by him." Hm, I'd just described the exact same event.

"Oh. How is he?" She looked up at me, but I had enough now.

I leaned against the countertop and folded my arms. "Why do you want to know?" I snarled.

"I was just curious, that's all," La defended herself and I kind of felt bad for being rude again. "People say he's a monster, but none of them have actually met him. You have."

I sighed. "I cannot really say much about that. He looks regal and tall and scary. There was a wall of fire in front of his throne in the throne room which made him look inhuman. But I didn't see anything that made him look like a monster. He also didn't act that way. Everything bad he does he has to do because of the war. That doesn't make it okay, but I don't think he's a monster."

La narrowed her eyes at me. "Yeah? Then banishing his son was also something necessary because of the war?" Her voice had a sarcastic tone to it.

I flinched badly and stiffened like a board. Oh Agni. Did she know… How did…

"Huh?" she pressed.

"He was weak," I said in a hoarse voice. "He wanted to do what was right, but that is not required in a war. The Fire Lord needs a much stronger heir. Someone who can make sacrifices and doesn't want to save everyone."

"How can you say something like that?" she whispered. "If he truly is like that, then the world needs him to be Fire Lord!"

My eyes widened at her words in shock. Would she have spoken them in the Fire Nation she might have been sent to a prison straight away!

But I quickly regained my composure and narrowed my eyes at her. "He can't do anything! Look what his believes have done for him! Losing his honour and throne, his birth right, traveling for nearly three years to find that damned Avatar and now he is declared a traitor! He can never be Fire Lord and no one needs him! He is a disgrace on the royal bloodline! He is a fool, a weak and pathetic fool and you are one, too, for wanting him on the throne!" I spit out, clenching my fists and trying to hold back tears. There. I just said out loud what I have come to recognise. It had all been for nothing. My whole life had been for nothing. I would always be a fugitive and live like a peasant or beggar.

"I thought…" La sighed and gave out a dry chuckle. "Wow. Maybe you were right. Maybe I shouldn't have helped you, for you seem to be exactly like this Fire Nation scum that murdered my mother five months ago on Kyoshi!" she shouted angrily at me and I stiffened.

I had been on Kyoshi five months ago. I had set the village on fire to get the Avatar to face me. Did her mother die because of the fire? Had she been burnt or buried alive in a house that had burnt? I knew that my men couldn't have killed her, for they had the strict order not to kill anyone!

I couldn't be responsible! No, I just couldn't! I've never killed anyone, not even caused the death of someone, but if La's mother had died because of me…

Clear images of how Azula or my father would react to this shot through my head. They would just shrug and not care at all. One Water Tribe woman was worthless dirt to them and it didn't matter if she died or lived.

_Oh, you're always so dramatic, Zuzu, _a voice drawled in my head, suspiciously sounding like Azula._ So what if she died because of you? She was in the wrong place and should have cleared your way and not stayed in one of these houses. So it was her own fault._

But no, I couldn't rationalise this.

Not when I was thinking about Lu Ten, Mother and Uncle. They were good people, I knew that. And they would not shrug the responsibility for someone's death off.

I knew that Uncle carried a heavy responsibility for the Siege of Ba Sing Se and all the people who had died in there.

But what had their kindness done for them? Lu Ten and Mother were dead and Uncle was stripped of his birth right and branded a traitor.

So if I wanted to achieve something, to regain my status and rank, did I have to be like Father and Azula? Did I have to be ruthless and cold? Not letting anything get to me, but only focus on victory and destruction?

I wasn't like them, never had been, but now that I realised what my obsession on victory had done, I found that I had it in me. I could be like Father and Azula. I only knew that I didn't want to.

Not when I'd hurt people like La, kind and nice, innocent people, on the way.

But maybe I did have to. Was that the only way to regain what I had lost? By sacrificing innocent people?

My breath and heartbeat quickened and I felt dizzy in my head. I had to get out of here!

That was simply too much for me now. I could think more about that when I'd be alone again, but not under her insistent and angry stare.

I took a deep breath to stay calm and neutral. "Well, then… I guess you'll feel better when Fire Nation scum like me doesn't bother you anymore," I assumed in a raspy voice.

Dragons, how on lava could I hide my feelings from this turquoise gaze?

La swallowed hard and looked away. "Maybe."

I frowned at the nearly physical pain I could feel in my heart. It was sad, that I had finally found someone who didn't hate me for what I was, who even seemed to sympathise with the real me and I still kept screwing this up.

So I nodded slowly, stood up and gathered my mask. I chose to approach the door on the other side of the big table in the middle of the kitchen. I didn't need to come near La again.

"Wait!" she suddenly shouted.

I turned towards her, trying to kill the flicker of hope in my chest.

She led out a deep breath. "Your food. I didn't pack you these things so that I can put them back now." She held my bag out to me and I approached her, feeling surprised.

She eyed me warily and stood an arm's length away from my bag, but it was still a friendly gesture. After all, she could have decided that I wasn't worth her food at all.

I reached out to take my bag and slung it across my shoulder.

La was truly a remarkable girl. Now that she was actually angry with me because of how I was she still wanted to help. I was most stunned by that.

So I placed my right hand flat over my left fist and bowed to her out of my hip, inclining my head, too. "Thank you for your kindness. I don't deserve it."

As I raised my head I saw that her mouth stood slightly open. She shook her head in bewilderment. "Don't do that. We had a deal."

Yeah, I remembered that. But still, I wasn't used to people keeping their part of a deal.

"I wasn't only thanking you for the food. But for the talk as well," I said sincerely.

La blinked and then she surprised me, too. She placed her palm upwards on her other hand which was a fist and bowed to me. A Fire Nation bow to show respect. "It was my pleasure."

We stared at each other and La licked her lips and looked away. "I wish… With more time I might understand you better," she said.

I frowned. "I don't think you would really like to."

She smiled and shook her head. "I wish you good luck with finding your uncle and staying away from your sister."

"Thank you. I hope you won't have to marry someone you don't love. Take your ancestors as role models. And I hope you'll study at a university and travel the world." I meant every word of what I said. Such a kind hearted girl deserved what she wished for.

"Thank you," she whispered and took a step towards me. "I also hope that your destiny will come true and that you'll like it. But never lose sight of what is right. You are not a bad person and I wish that you'll open up to the nice person who is inside of you. Friendliness and compassion are no weaknesses. I hope you'll understand that and that your father will accept you back."

Now I was the one staring at her in wonder. How did she know that I had been pondering about this the whole time? That I badly needed to hear this to make a final decision?

However, I would keep her words close and remember them every time I would be tempted to forget my destiny.

I wished I could smile and simply say thank you, maybe even hug her, but her words had made my inside go blank.

Eventually I pulled myself together and nodded. I took a good look at her, trying to memorise her face and keeping her scent in mind. Then I turned around and walked out of the door. I knew she was looking at me, but I couldn't find the courage to look back. So I kept walking.

* * *

_So you made it to the end of chapter one! I really hope you did like it! Please leave reviews and tell me what you think about it. This is my first fanfiction and I really want to know how you guys have liked it (If you have liked it), so that I can improve my writing or change things._

_Next chapter will come up by the end of the week!_


	2. Chapter 2

_I do not own Avatar The Last airbender, nor its characters. The only characters I own are my OCs._

* * *

**Chapter Two**

**An Unexpected Revelation**

_**Kilara**_

The last night's events didn't leave me. And I doubted they ever would. Fortunately no one had heard us fight or talk yesterday night, so everything was as it always had been.

Only I, I was different.

"Tell me again, how should I not be offended by you saying you don't consider Hao and Shang for marriage, because they remind you of me?" Nanuk, my elder brother (by five minutes only) asked while we were having breakfast. My aunt and uncle raised their eyebrows questioningly, too.

I rolled my eyes. Did I really have to explain that? "You're my brother, Nanuk! If someone reminds me of you, I cannot see myself having romantic feelings for them. That would be as if I'd develop romantic feelings for you!"

Nanuk flinched at that and made a gawking gesture. A servant who stood next to me nearly led the tray she carried fall down by looking at Nanuk.

I giggled softly and Uncle cleared his throat to remind us of our manners.

While living with mother and father we never had to learn such things. We were a normal family in which we talked openly and never held back anything because of manners, but because of respect.

"So what about Wang? He's pretty cool and I'd like to have him as my brother in law."

I pretended to think about that while I chewed on a rice ball. "Yeah, Wang is an awesome earthbender and a prodigy and he can actually talk about something else than him being so special," I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes again.

"Kira," Uncle said warningly while my aunt chuckled.

"Give her time," she said gently and placed a hand on my uncle's arm. "She wasn't raised in this society and she is a strong willed and stubborn girl with spirit. If she doesn't decide correctly due to your pressure she might end up killing her husband." She said that in a dead-serious tone.

Nanuk and I looked at each other, then at Uncle. He sighed and patted his wife's hand. "You're right, my love. As always. And we don't want to have a murderer in the family." He now looked at me, slightly smirking. "Least of all do I want to take the blame for that because I pressed you into a marriage with a man you couldn't stand."

"Yeah, and because of her frustration about killing her husband, she would blame you, too and kill you, too. Then she would kill herself," Nanuk explained, apparently reading my future out of his tea pot.

I rolled my eyes. "Could you please stop talking about me becoming a murderer?"

Nanuk only grinned at me and I frowned, crossing my arms under my chest.

Uncle sighed. "I'm just saying that I understand that you need time, but the good men will also soon be taken. We all just want you to be happy."

Good men. Dammit, he only meant men with money, no one really good. "But maybe I don't want one of those 'good men'," I growled lowly. "What if I find my happiness with a peasant? A koalasheep owner from the Fire Nation?"

"What are koalasheep?" Aunt asked.

Nanuk inhaled sharply and Uncle put down his tea pot with a _thonk _sound. "Enough of this! I already am generous by letting you decide! I even give you time, but you are just a childish and stubborn brat!"

My jaw tightened and my fingers clenched around my chopsticks. "Well, if I'm so childish, then maybe I'm not ready for marriage yet!"

"Don't you twist my words like that!"

"Uuurrgghh!" I let my back fall against my rest and crossed my arms again.

Then I suddenly thought about what Lee had said. He had got it that my biggest dream was not to marry, but to study. And I could bring my family honour with that as well.

"Uncle, I…" I began, but then there was a loud knock at the door and a servant rushed in.

"Sir! There are people out there! They wish to see you and your family right now! It is urgent!" he gasped, trying to catch his breath.

Nanuk and I looked at each other excitingly. Well, that sounded interesting!

"Who dares interrupting my family's breakfast so abruptly?!" Uncle growled, standing up.

"Sir, please notice that I would have let them wait if it weren't for who they are," the servant said fearfully.

Uncle frowned and left the room.

My aunt, Nanuk and I couldn't get out of the room fast enough. We all ran down the hallway and the stairs until we could see from the windows who was standing outside.

Slowly we crept up on the door, where Uncle stood, seemingly pulling himself together.

I swallowed and wondered if they were here because of Lee. Did they find out that I had helped him? Had he been caught? Or did he maybe betray me?

As Uncle opened the door the sight was rather terrifying.

Two men were sitting on giant komodo rhinos and almost twenty soldiers were standing behind them, each of them wearing the skull-like mask that made the Fire Nation Soldiers even more appalling.

The men on the komodo rhinos did not wear these masks and both descended their animals and came to our door.

"What do you want?" Uncle asked, his voice sounding hostile.

The men climbed our stairs and bowed to Uncle for greeting. Uncle bowed back.

I hugged myself around the middle and tried to look innocent.

They put their helmets down and I was mildly surprised to see the man on the left having dark skin like mine. My skin didn't have the full mocha tone which was so typical for the Water Tribes, but Nanuk and I were both a bit lighter, because of the pale skin of our father. But Nanuk had the same skin colour everywhere, whereas my skin sometimes seemed not to have decided if it wanted to be dark or light, so I had some patches on my stomach, back and thighs.

The darker skinned Fire Nation soldier hadn't any facial hair except for his sideburns. His colleague had a bushy moustache. "We are here by order of Princess Azula," the man on the right with the moustache said. "We were sent to search everywhere for the traitors and fugitives General Iroh of the Fire Nation and Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation."

Just as their names rolled of his tongue, the man on the left with the sideburns opened a roll of parchment and held it out to Uncle.

I leaned forward to have a better look on the wanted poster and nearly gasped out loud.

General Iroh had a round and kind looking face with a trimmed chin beard and a topknot as it was common in the Fire Nation. His eyes were painted in a dark amber tone and his hair in grey.

Prince Zuko looked as if he had a shaved head, for I only noticed the ponytail as I looked closer again a few seconds later. Although his hair looked completely different, I recognised him immediately.

There was no mistaking the light golden eyes, his oval-shaped head with the strong jaw and high cheekbones. I also would have recognised him without it, but it was there and seemed to spring into my face. Prince Zuko's face's left side was scarred from a burn. On the paper it simply looked like colour, red and nearly purple, but I had seen that texture with my own eyes, just a few hours ago.

Oh Earth!

Lee was Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation!

Somehow I managed to keep a calm and slightly worried expression on my face while I was freaking out on the inside.

Uncle looked mildly surprised and raised his eyebrows. "Traitors? I didn't have knowledge of that."

The man with the moustache nodded. "Both betrayed the Fire Nation during the Siege of the Northern Water Tribe. They helped to defeat the Fire Nation Navy and Prince Zuko is accused of Admiral Zhao's death."

Now I couldn't keep an expression of calm, but looked shocked. Lee, I mean, Prince Zuko had said that he had never killed a person. And I had believed him.

I couldn't imagine him killing someone. He just hadn't seemed like a person who would kill.

Our conversation from last night came to my mind and I tried to remember everything he had said. Everything he had said could have been the truth. There was no obvious lie, except for his name.

And when he had talked about the prince he had been talking about himself.

As I came to recognise this I felt a sudden pain inside of me. It hurt that he was thinking about himself so lowly and disappointedly.

"We have the strict order to search every household for the traitors," the man added and Uncle nodded immediately.

"Of course. Feel free to look everywhere in the house and on the grounds. If they are indeed hiding here I wouldn't want them to stay here."

The Fire Nation officers flinched and looked at one another. The left one with the wanted poster cleared his throat and said: "Princess Azula wants to see the master of the household in which the traitors are hiding. Hypothetically… If they will be caught on the road there won't be any household, nor master… But if we'll find them here Princess Azula would want to see you, Aiguo Huang."

Uncle stiffened, but nodded. "Of course. What master would I be if I didn't have any knowledge of two fugitives hiding in my house?"

Sideburns nodded. "Exactly what the princess would say."

Uncle raised his eyebrows. "Well, commence! No one is hindering your search!"

Aunt Chunhua, Nanuk and I were sent to the library in which we would wait until the soldiers would search there.

Nanuk and Aunt were chatting excitingly to each other, talking about the Fire Nation soldiers and traitors, while I was thinking about Prince Zuko and last night.

I still had issues to understand that Lee was Prince Zuko. But it made sense. He had said that his sister was searching for him and that his father wanted to punish him for something. Apparently the betrayal in the Northern Water Tribe. Moreover, he'd said he had been traveling with his uncle who would be General Iroh. He had looked nice on the wanted poster, but I couldn't imagine the fierce Dragon of the West to love tea, proverbs and pai sho.

But I also hadn't expected the Prince of the Fire Nation to be an unsure and distrusting boy. I shivered slightly at the thought that I had met the son of the Fire Lord. I had had a rather big mouth about him last night with saying that the world needed him to be Fire Lord, but I hadn't really meant it. I just had been angry at him and angry at the Fire Lord.

But if he really had been banished for trying to do what's right, then maybe I hadn't been wrong about suggesting him being Fire Lord.

But what if he had been angry at me for saying so ill words about his father? Well, but he needed to be used to that by now. Certainly a lot people in the Earth Kingdom were talking ill about the Fire Lord.

Now I was even more impressed by the fact that he could fight with swords and didn't rely on his firebending skills only.

The soldiers wouldn't find him here, but maybe they would find him later. He was only a few hours ahead of them. Could I risk it to sneak away and try to find him and warn him? Or would I rather lead the soldiers to him like that?

What the hell should I do? Damned, why couldn't I talk to anyone about this?

I really could need my mother now. She had always listened to my problems and given me good advice. She would know now what to do. But I could imagine her telling me that I had to go after him or that I had to stay at home because it was safer.

I would have to wait until the soldiers were gone, if I wanted to find Prince Zuko. And I would have to avoid them afterwards. I could take Onyx, my ostrich horse, to be faster than them and to catch up to Prince Zuko sooner.

But where would he go? Where should I go?

Maybe east, since I had suggested that to the prince.

"Hey, Kira, are you okay?" my brother asked, having a worried expression on his face.

"Hm? Yeah, I'm just anxious about what will happen to uncle if Prince Zuko and General Iroh are found here," I lied.

Nanuk's gaze hardened. "Well, whatever the princess might want to do with him, I will stop her."

"You think you can take her? She's a prodigy, haven't you heard the people talking? I've even heard she can generate lightning and that her fire is blue, which means it's even hotter!" I warned.

Aunt nodded. "Kira is right. Your uncle will know how to help himself. There is no need to put yourself in danger."

My brother nearly bared his teeth. "Mum was killed because of the Fire Nation and I will not let anything happen to anyone else in my family."

I snorted. "That's funny. Father is currently surrounded by Fire Nation."

"He is half from the Fire Nation! I'm not saying they are bad. I was just saying that I will protect you."

I crossed my arms in front of my chest. "What about me? Will I be allowed to help you, oh great protector?"

"You think that's funny?" Nanuk snarled.

"Of course not. But you always are so eager to throw yourself into battle and want me to stay behind. Mother left the North to flee such sexist thinking."

Nanuk rolled his greyish blue-green eyes. "My, you're so sensitive when it comes to suppression of women! I just don't want anything to happen to you. I know you can fight. You're one damn good bender, but I'm still your big brother and I will protect you whenever I can."

My gaze and posture softened slightly while I was hearing what he said. "Thanks. But together we'd stand a better chance. And it were only five minutes!"

"Oh, enough of this! No one is going off to fight anyone, especially no Fire Nation soldiers or princess!" Aunt Chunhua snapped and stood. She led a servant bring two books from our rooms. "Discussing highly improbable things won't get us anywhere! You can just start your lessons now!"

Nanuk and I groaned in unison. Well, his lessons were still more exciting than mine, since he learned politics and economics. I only had history, family and household. When I'd first heard that, a few months ago, I had been laughing, thinking that had been a joke. It hadn't been one and household was a far more complex subject than I had ever thought.

But the book that had been brought to me was from family and part of the topic husband. What I was learning now was something that I rather hadn't any knowledge in my head off.

Men were so disgusting and their anatomy was really strange. I couldn't imagine myself doing any of these things at any time. Eeewww.

Nanuk always said that I was just a late pubescent and that I would be interested in boys that way in a few years. But I still would have to marry a man before that time.

I sighed, took notes and kept reading in that nightmare causing book.

The Fire Nation soldiers were searching very thoroughly, for it took them five hours to come to the library. I was already hungry for lunch.

When we left the library lunch was fortunately ready and aunt, Nanuk and I were pretty surprised to see Officer Sideburns and Officer Moustache sitting at the table. They were talking animatedly with uncle, who introduced them to us.

I kept silent for the whole meal, since I knew uncle preferred it that way with strangers, though it wasn't easy. Officer Moustache wanted uncle to meet his cousin very badly. He added that he was Nanuk's age, had a great career in the military lying in front of him and that he was neither married nor engaged. Now, my fists clenched tightly around my chopsticks and it took all my willpower not to freeze Moustache's head.

But fortunately, uncle didn't seem that interested in giving his niece to a Fire Nation soldier.

After the Fire Nation finally left I waited for half an hour until I got ready. I had chosen to try to find the prince.

It was the right thing to do and he had been nice to me. No arrogant or superior behaviour. He had treated me like an equal and after a day of being discussed between men like a piece of meat I almost longed to be in his non-sexist presence again.

I changed into long green pants and an old brown tunic that ended at the length of my knee. I simply pulled my hair into a bun and removed all the make-up from my face. With a green jacket, boots, a brown travel bag and a straw hat I was ready. Cautiously I sneaked off to the stables and was relieved that no one had noticed me. I didn't look like the fine young lady the servants were used to and after that suspenseful morning they all seemed to think of something else.

Onyx greeted me with a quiet shriek and pressed his beak to my cheek. I stroked his dark feathers and gently put his saddle on his back, where I fixed my travel bag. I gave him an apple and pulled him outside with me.

When I was sure that no one had seen us I mounted my ostrich horse and pressed my legs to his sides, so that he knew that he was to run.

I held on to the reins and was relieved to see that the traces of the Fire Nation were leading south west and not east.

My mind was racing and I was wondering if I should tell the prince that I knew who he was. Or what I should say to him.

But after a while I relaxed as I always did on Onyx's back despite the fast pace.

It was already after sunset and stars were lightening the sky when I noticed an ostrich horse trace in front of me, going south east.

Was that Prince Zuko? Or did a soldier decide for himself to take an ostrich horse to search in another region for the prince? Or maybe it was just a normal traveller, not meaning any danger for me or the prince.

Nevertheless, I kept following the trace that went straight east, but avoiding towns.

After a few hours – I could tell because of the moon's position in the sky – I slowed Onyx down and marched off with him into the woods, since I needed to relieve myself.

Being on the ground again, I noticed that I was growing more and more tired. Last night had been exhausting, as had been this day. It was late, but I didn't want to let my chance waste to eventually find Prince Zuko.

Yawning, I climbed Onyx again and kept him running for two more hours, until I couldn't keep myself upright anymore. I felt out for water and discovered a creek, a little north from here. I led Onyx to the creak, letting him drink and pulled out a bedroll from my bag.

Before lying down to sleep, I also drank something and then I just fell onto my mat, falling asleep almost in an instant.

I woke up to a warm and soft feeling on my neck. It continued to my cheek and I was wondering who was nuzzling me like that. No one was allowed in my room before I said so, except for my family, but they wouldn't do this to me.

I opened my eyes, seeing green leaves instead of white walls and leapt up. It took me a moment to remember and to understand why I had been sleeping in a forest.

But there was no one instead of Onyx and I reached up to gently stroke his beak. I let him have some food and focused on the moon. She wasn't set yet and the sky had still a greyish colour, which meant it was still early, dawn maybe. That was far too early for me. Normally I would still sleep for a few hours.

But I had a mission and knowing that firebenders tended to rise with the sun, I got ready and mounted Onyx. Stifling a yawn I rode him back to the main road and kept him going east. I would stroke Onyx absentmindedly from time to time or give him a treat.

Being focused and concentrated for so long was tiring me fast, since I wasn't used to any of this.

Doubts were churning in my head. Did I really have to go after the prince? I had seen the Fire Nation soldiers leaving into another direction, wasn't that enough? How long could I keep this up? What would uncle do when I'd come back?

With a few breaks I managed to reach the edge of the orchard valley at the end of the day.

I had two buns, one apple, one dumpling and some cheese left. I ate a bun and some cheese while leading Onyx through the trees, now walking on my own, since my rear hurt from the saddle.

When the sun set, I set up camp again and looked around for any signs of a fire or smoke. Keeping a knife and my fighting water close, I settled on my mat, stroking Onyx's feathers and pressing my face against his neck. I truly loved that animal. His presence always calmed and reassured me. I looked into his eyes and smiled, for he seemed to think that I should get some sleep and needed not to worry. He would take care of me.

Okay, maybe I was just imagining things now out of tiredness.

The orchard valley was vast and I searched it for nearly a full day. I didn't want to shout out the prince's name, or Lee, but I became tempted to do so. Then he could just answer and I would finally be done. But I didn't want to alert anyone to my presence, since the people in the orchard valley were mostly criminals. Thieves and fugitives. Well, Prince Zuko was that, too, but only because I thought that he wasn't a bad person didn't mean that I was completely naïve. This place was not safe for a fifteen year old girl.

Sometimes loud chatter or other noises alerted me to other people's presence and I was rather glad to leave the orchards behind me, when I recognised the same ostrich horse trace from two days ago. I wished, I'd somehow knew more about traces, but since it was my only hint, I kept following it.

On the next day I went through a small town in an arid area, in which the people all seemed hungry and miserably.

When I wanted to buy some food at a stall, people came closer towards me. I'd just received my change, when the first person began to speak.

"Go away, stranger! You are not welcome here!" a woman snarled.

I turned around and frowned at the people. "I was not about to stay. And now I wouldn't want it anyway."

A young man snorted. "Listen to that arrogance! You think you're better than us?"

"I have done nothing wrong! You are the ones being rude to me!"

The young man and some of the others came closer and I backed away. "We don't like to have strangers here. Explain yourself and what business you got here!"

I crossed my arms, noticing Onyx becoming nervous. "I'm simply a refugee, fleeing the war. I wish to go to Ba Sing Se where I can live in peace and harmony. Satisfied?"

The one who spoke narrowed his eyes on me. "I don't like your attitude, girl."

"I'm really sorry about that", I said dryly. "I cannot help it. I'm always like this when I have to deal with idiots."

Roaring out of anger, he made a move towards me, wanting to grasp my throat. Wow, his restrain wasn't strong at all. But I had expected him to do just that.

I let my change fall into my pocket and simply dodged his hand. "Did you just want to slap me? I'm just a little girl, not even an adult! And you wanted to use violence on me?!" I cried out in alarm and more people moved towards us.

"What is this turmoil?" an old lady with a walking stick wanted to know and everyone made some space for her. Aha, that meant she was important.

"This stranger provoked me into a fight!" the man accused me, pointing his finger at me.

I rolled my eyes, but thanks to my straw hat, no one saw. I took the hat off and tried to look my most innocent. "Please excuse me, but there must be a misunderstanding. I was simply buying some food for my journey, when he ordered me out of the village. I felt insulted and explained that I'm a refugee and want to go to Ba Sing Se. That's when he attacked me out of nowhere!"

"You little…" the man started again, but the old lady hit him with her stick. "Silence, you dick!"

I gasped, far too loudly, but couldn't help but be shocked at that word.

The man flinched. "Ouch!" Suddenly he looked like a scolded boy and I saw that he was not that much older than me as I had thought before.

The old woman came forward and examined me. "You are from the Water Tribe, aren't you?"

I chose to nod. These people didn't need to know that I was also a quarter from the Fire Nation.

The woman turned to the crowd. "And why shouldn't we welcome someone of the Water Tribe here in our small humble village?"

Some faces stayed hostile and I was wondering what had happened to these people.

As if she had read my mind, the old lady turned her head towards me and said in a voice low enough for only me to hear: "Please excuse their behaviour. Our village has been mistreated by the ones who should protect us. And they have been punished by the ones who should attack us. The people here get suspicious of everyone and outsiders are the worst to them."

"Dare I ask what happened here exactly?"

"Mhm. Earth Kingdom soldiers were sent here to protect us from the Fire Nation. But without Fire Nation attacks these men didn't have anything to do, so they grew bored and started to humiliate children, women and men, all alike. They had their fun and we suffered, for they were strong warriors and benders. Lee there," I stiffened, searching the crowd for Prince Zuko, but the woman pointed at a small and skinny boy with big teeth and rumpled hair, who pressed himself to a woman's side, "attacked them when they were doig wrong and they punished him by recruiting him for the army." My eyes widened in horror and I let out a gasp. "Lee's family had been kind to a stranger lately, who arrived here two days ago. He went against the soldiers to free Lee, but nothing was as it seemed. That boy who appeared to be so brave was no other than one of the worst of all. He suddenly used firebending while fighting a soldier and nearly killed him. The firebender claimed to be the banished prince of the Fire Nation. He said, he was heir to the throne, but that's nonsense."

"That's not right!" an old man exclaimed. "He was the banished prince! He's just not heir to the throne anymore! His own father burnt his face and banished him! Before he becomes Fire Lord, Earthbenders will fly!"

The old woman rolled her eyes. "Yes. Anyway, we were quick to drive him off and he left, fortunately."

My heart beat faster and faster. So he had been here. I was probably following the right trace. He had defended a little boy, protecting him from the horrors of the army and war, and these people hated him for that? No wonder he had been surprised at my behaviour towards him.

"Oh, that sounds terrible!" I exclaimed, covering my mouth with my hands. "To see the Fire Lord's son defending a child against soldiers! That must have been a true shock!" I tried very hard to hold the sarcasm out of my voice.

Some people nodded, murmuring words of affirmation.

The old lady eyed me warily, surely having understood my tone. "You see now why strangers are not well seen here? It is better if you leave. I won't be able to stop them from throwing you out by force."

I tried to smile reassuringly. "Please, there is no need for that. I'll leave. I only hope that your village will do better sometime." I then bowed to the old lady to show my respect and led Onyx past the villagers. When I was on the main road again, I mounted him and quickly took off.

I was close. I was so close to find him.

The doubts in my head were still there, telling me that there was no need to continue this ridiculous quest. The soldiers were not looking for the prince in this area anymore, so why bother?

But I also knew that they could turn around and look for him here again. What if he would still be caught? Then that would be my fault, because I would have gone back. I couldn't live with this possibility. I had already begun and now I would accomplish my mission, dammit!

This evening I ate some of the dried meat and strange vegetables that I had bought in the village, when I felt three people approaching my camp.

They moved casual, as if going on a walk, but seemed tired and exhausted.

I chose to stay quiet and was happy that I didn't make myself a fire, which my mother had taught me.

Onyx made a nervous sound and I flinched, feeling that the people behind had stopped in their track. A few moments passed, and then suddenly they rushed forward. I rolled out of their way, jumped up and tore water from the creek behind Onyx.

I had always slept near a big water source in the last couple of days and was suddenly grateful for that habit. The water enclosed my arms as I settled into a defensive stance.

Three boys came out of the trees, all with drawn weapons. Two of them held two swords, but one had also a dagger in his mouth and the third had his bow bent and an arrow pointed at me.

No one spoke, until one of them with messy dark hair lowered his hookswords and frowned. "Katara? Is that you?"

Uh, no.

The boy signalled his companions to lower their weapons, too, but I didn't relax my stand one bit. The boy held his hands up, palms towards me, and spoke in a soft voice. "Listen, I know you might not want to see me, but I've been meaning to apologise to you for what I did. I know now that I was wrong and blinded by my want for revenge. That village was innocent and I'm glad that Sokka managed to rescue the people. I've changed, believe me and…"

Holy moon, what was he talking about? Sighing, I let the water drop to my feet and put my hat down. "I have no idea what it is that you exactly did, but the apology does not sound sincere. Whoever Katara is, she might not forgive you."

The boy stared at me in disbelief. "You are not Katara."

"Really?" I asked dryly and crossed my arms.

"Then who are you?" he asked, tensing a bit more.

"Not Katara and there is no more you need to know" I snarled and moved into a fighting stance again. "Now leave my campsite!"

The two other boys drew back, but messy hair held his palms up again. "Hey, there is no need to be so hostile. We're just kids. As you are, too. Maybe we can just sit down, have a drink and talk. We don't meet a lot of other kids out here and it would be nice to not talk to an adult again."

I liked his attitude, so I relaxed and moved a bit closer. "Fine. You're right. Being out here just makes me more suspicious of people."

I had noticed that I had changed a bit during my journey. At home I had always been a friendly and forthcoming person. I've never been overly hostile or mean and I usually asked questions before I attacked. I was glad that the boy still seemed to be like I had been before and I chose to try to be more friendly and relaxed again.

"This is only logical. Traveling in a group helps against such feelings," he said.

I smiled a bit and went to Onyx, to soothe him a bit. I stroked his neck until I noticed that he had calmed down and then I tickled him under his chin, because I knew he liked that. His left leg moved up and down while he leaned into my touch.

The boys came closer and the messy hair one held his hand out to Onyx, so that he could nuzzle it. I smiled a bit at him and he smiled back.

"My name is Jet," he said and turned to look at his companions. They had put their weapons away and came to stand next to Jet.

One of them had red stripes on his cheeks, but when he smiled, I started to wonder if this really was a boy. "I am Smellerbee and this is Longshot." She gestured to the boy with the straw hat and bow and arrow. His expression was neutral and he nodded.

I was suddenly relieved that I hadn't said anything to them which would indicate that I had thought that Smellerbee was a boy. Now as I got a closer look it was pretty obvious to me that she was a girl. Her face held a softness that boys her age just hadn't. Her clothes looked like an armour made of plates that didn't fit together, but they also hid anything about her body that could indicate that she was a girl.

Longshot and Jet wore similar armours and I wondered what they did out here. They were probably real refugees, having lost their families in the war.

"It is nice to meet you," I said and couldn't help but bow to them in greeting. My manners were not easy to forget. "My name is Kilara Huang."

Their eyes widened a bit and they bowed back quickly.

"That is a beautiful name," Jet said, his eyes twinkling and I smiled thankfully. He turned to smile at his friends. "So now, what about a nice and warm fire and some food? I'm starving."

Smellerbee sighed contentedly. "Finally. I was already wondering if we weren't going to eat anything today."

Jet shrugged. "We have to save the food."

"What if we all just share our food?" I asked.

Smellerbee grinned. "Sounds good to me." Then she grabbed Longshot by his sleeve and tugged him towards the trees. "Come on, let's go get some firewood!"

Jet watched how they left and then turned back towards me. I noticed a small straw in the corner of his mouth, as he smiled. "So, Kilara, where are you from?"

"I was born on Kyoshi, but I've lived in many places since then," I told him and walked back to my bag where I started pulling more food out.

Jet followed me and did the same with his bag. "Wow. Since Kyoshi is in the south, are your parents from the Southern Water Tribe?"

I shook my head. "No, my mother is from the Northern Water Tribe and my father is from the Earth Kingdom. He was born in the colonies." I was always careful not to tell people, that my grandmother was from the Fire Nation. It had been different with Prince Zuko, since I had known that he wouldn't react disgusted.

"Oh," Jet exclaimed. "You know, where I come from, people don't like hybrids. They believe that they are sneaky people, often criminals who cannot have strong bending powers. That the lack of belonging is somehow changing them to bad people. But I believe that it is a blessing. The Avatar is good and powerful, because he's bending all four elements and the mix of more than one element in a person has to make them good and powerful, too. Although I've never seen a hybrid fighting, I have noticed that they all look stunning." There he smiled at me again and nodded. "I should have known that you are a hybrid, since you really are beautiful."

I felt heat crawl into my cheeks and looked away. "Thank you. I haven't dealt with prejudices against hybrids yet and I'm glad that you don't share their belief."

"Oy course not," he said, unwrapping some old and dry bread. "Those people are just idiots who are afraid of new things and possibilities."

I tilted my head to the side. "What would you say if I had told you that I was half from the Fire Nation? Does your hybrid tolerance go this far or do you hate anything that has to do with the Fire Nation?"

His jaw clenched a bit and I knew my answer immediately. But I faked innocence as I munched on one of my dumplings. I even offered Jet one. He took it hesitantly and stared down at his hands. When he looked at me again I was shocked to see hurt and pain.

"I'm not going to lie to you. I don't like anything that has to do with the Fire Nation and not so long ago I even hated it. If you were half from the Fire Nation, I wouldn't be so relaxed, but I would not attack you or anything. It just hurts to think about them as humans after such a long time of hatred against monsters."

I felt my lips slightly open as I suddenly felt sad for him.

"They killed my family. They burnt in our house to death and I had to watch. They let the children live to rise a new generation of Earth Kingdom people who would fear the Fire Nation even more." His voice became hoarse and raspy. "Since then it was all too easy to hate them, to hate everything about them and to be honest, I don't know if I would have survived if not for that hatred and the wish for vengeance. It kept me going all these years. But something had happened lately that changed everything. I realised that I was not on the right way and that I had to change if I didn't want to become like the people I loathed."

I reached out to squeeze his hand and he wrapped his around mine. "It's okay. It's not your fault. It's the war which is doing this to the people. I lost my mother a few months ago in a Fire Nation raid and I also just wanted to hate them. I couldn't stand the pain of losing her and I focused on my anger. But I still had my father and brother and they showed me that it doesn't help anything to hate the Fire Nation. It just does damage to your soul, but it doesn't bring the beloved people back," I explained.

"That is so damn right. When I tried to change, I discovered how much that hatred had influenced my life and how dark and heavy my soul had felt. Now I feel the difference and it is easier to be happy."

I shot him a genuine smile and sighed. "If only more people would realise this. The war is awful, but hatred does not help ending it."

Jet leaned a bit in and I noticed that we were still holding hands. "Then what do you think does help ending it?"

"The Avatar," I said, feeling one hundred percent sure. "It is his duty to keep the balance in this world and he has done so for thousands of years. This time will not be different."

Jet smiled and chuckled a bit. "I've met him once and I find it hard to imagine how that goofy little baldhead is going to defeat the most powerful firebender in the world."

"You've met him?"

"Yeah. He and his friends walked right into a camp of Fire Nation soldiers, which we wanted to attack. Together we defeated them and I invited the Avatar and his friends to stay with us for a bit."

"Wow. What is he like?"

Jet raised his eyebrows and smirked. "He was more concerned about having the most fun he could than to save the world. But he is still a kid and I can't imagine it to be easy to have to deal with this responsibility at the age of twelve."

I frowned. "That is still so confusing to me, that he is still a kid. Some people say that he was born right after Avatar Roku's death, but that would mean that he is over a hundred years old."

"I can help you with that. The Avatar is indeed the one after Avatar Roku and he had been alive all these years ago. But before Fire Lord Sozin attacked the Air Temples, the Avatar flew through a storm and nearly died. To save himself, he froze himself into a giant ice orb, which floated deep in the ocean for a hundred years." I totally hung at his lips, for he was a marvellous storyteller. He smirked. "Then, one day, two siblings from the Southern Water Tribe went hunting. The boy didn't like to have his sister coming with him, because Water Tribe people believe that a woman's presence at a hunt means bad luck. And when he didn't manage to catch a fish, but his sister did, he insulted her." I frowned, growing angry about these stupid Water Tribe boys and men. "But his sister is a waterbender and being on the wide ocean, while insulting a waterbender, didn't serve him well. But it did to the world. You see, the girl became so furious with her brother, insulting him right back, so that the sea around them churned. The icebergs shook and broke, until they fell back into the ocean. With one of them gone, the ice orb in which the Avatar had been frozen for a hundred years had its way free to appear on the surface. The waterbender used her brother's weapon to crack it open and a blinding light flash appeared, until a boy fell out of the iceberg, right into her arms and asked her to go penguin sledding with him."

I laughed then and shook my head. "You just made that up!"

Jet laughed, too. "No, I swear. The waterbender herself told me that these were the Avatar's first words to her."

I kept laughing for a while, until I noticed something and frowned. "Why don't you say their names? You certainly know them."

Jet sighed. "That's because, well… The waterbender is Katara."

My mouth formed an O and I raised my eyebrows. "So you didn't part with them on good terms?"

Jet shook his head. "No, I tried to make them do something awful, but her brother, Sokka, managed to stop it and they left immediately."

"What did…"

"I don't want to go into more detail."

"I understand. It's okay." I tried to give him a reassuring smile.

"It really is funny. You remind me even a bit of Katara. You are both so kind and understanding. Compassionate."

I chuckled a bit. "You clearly haven't met a lot of Water Tribe people yet, for we are all known for our compassion. That's why we can heal."

Jet seemed to think about that and nodded. "Yeah, even Sokka, who doesn't seem like a kind person at all, is compassionate. Even with the people from the Fire Nation."

Smellerbee and Longshot came back with a big amount of wood and started to make a fire. I wanted to help, but they didn't let me.

"So Kilara, what are you doing here? Traveling all alone?" Smellerbee asked with a curious voice.

"I'm looking for someone," I said. "A few days ago I met a boy, a fugitive. He was on the run from the Fire Nation. I gave him some food and helped him. But the Fire Nation appeared on our doorsteps only a few hours after he had left and I worried for his safety. I've been following his trace for the last few days."

Smellerbee's eyes were wide and Jet had stopped eating for a moment. Longshot stared at me, chewing on the dried meat I had given them.

"Why are they looking for him? What did he do?" Smellerbee asked after a few moments.

"I don't know exactly," which was the truth. My mother had told me, that if I had to lie, it was always the wisest to remain as close to the truth as possible. "But the Fire Nation soldiers said he had killed one of their Admirals."

Jet let out a whistle. "Wow, he must be one hell of a fighter if he won against a Fire Nation Admiral."

Smellerbee rolled her eyes. "Or he is a sneaky and stealthy guy who attacked from behind or while the Admiral was sleeping."

Jet shrugged and I frowned. I didn't like how they were talking about L…, dammit, Prince Zuko. "Well, he is a good fighter, but I think it was self-defence."

Longshot nodded and kept eating. I frowned at him, wondering if he was mute or if he just didn't like to talk. Sometimes I had moods like that, too, but they were only moods.

"And what about you? What are you doing out here?" I asked them and put a dried piece of carrot into my mouth.

Smellerbee and Longshot looked at Jet and I wondered if he was something like the leader of their group. "After our encounter with the Avatar, err Aang and his friends we left our home. We want to go to Ba Sing Se to start a new life. We'll be safe from the Fire Nation."

I nodded, my suspicions confirmed.

After that, our talking left the serious topics and Jet proved to me that he was really a marvellous storyteller. After living for years with a bunch of kids, he had a lot of funny stories to tell and even though Smellerbee and Longshot already knew them, they still laughed at them. Well, Smellerbee laughed, Longshot would just smile faintly.

It was really late when we chose to get some sleep. I felt bad, since I had my bedroll, but they just had thin blankets. However, they didn't complain, so I didn't say anything.

I had a light sleep because in the back of my mind I knew that it would be foolish to trust people I had met a few hours ago. But when I woke up in the morning, my stuff was still there and the three friends were still asleep. I smiled at Jet's light snore and stood up to go to the creek to wash my clothes and myself.

I dove into the water, which cleared my head from my sleep and wished I could just sit in the water all day. But I quickly got out and bended the water out of my hair and clothes. Satisfied with my smell I walked back and prepared some breakfast. Longshot was already awake, sitting in a lotus position a few steps away from the others. Was he meditating?

Jet and Smellerbee woke up to the scent of food and uttered a thank you in my direction, before they started eating.

"I was thinking," Jet suddenly said.

"O spirits, help us!" Smellerbee murmured and Jet shot her a glare. She only returned a sweet smile and I couldn't help but be reminded of my brother. A sudden hurting feeling shot through my heart. Oh moon, what was he going through now? I missed him a lot, but I knew that I had to do this alone. Hopefully he'd understand me when we would see each other again.

"I just wondered if we all couldn't travel together. We'd help you find the fugitive and then we could all go to Ba Sing Se. He would be safe there, too. We'd look out for one another and…," Jet shrugged, "…well, be safe." He looked at me hopefully with a smirk. A weird combination, but he made it look good. Almost irresistible, but I couldn't do that.

I had no desire to stay away from home for forever, so I shook my head slightly, but smiled. "That is a really nice offer, also considered that you don't know me well, but I don't think that's a good idea."

Jet had said that he had changed, but how much? His tolerance was surely not big enough to accept a firebender. And what if he had seen wanted posters from Prince Zuko or heard stories and would recognise him? And how would Prince Zuko react if I came to him with three strangers? If he were a deer dog, he'd just growl and bark at them, backing away, but not biting.

I sighed. No, that would be a terrible idea. "Lee – that's the fugitive – won't react well if I'd show up with other people who he doesn't know. He also already knows that going to Ba Sing Se is his best option. And I couldn't stay there with you. My family doesn't know where I am and I wish to return to them, as soon as I will have warned Lee."

Jet and Smellerbee looked disappointed, Longshot simply nodded.

"Oh," Jet said softly. "Of course. I can understand that you wish to return to your family."

Smellerbee smiled faintly at me. "It would have been nice to travel with another girl, though. Those two can be such dicks."

I chuckled at Longshot's shrug and Jet's glare. "I know what you're going through. I have a brother."

Smellerbee smiled.

"But maybe we'll see each other again soon. My father will go to Ba Sing Se in a few months and I hope I'll be allowed to go with him."

Smellerbee grinned. "You just ran away from home to help a fugitive, but you are concerned about allowance to move with your father?"

I shrugged. "The fact that I ran away won't help me in convincing my father to let me come with him."

"That's probably true," Jet said.

I gave them all the food I had left, for I still had enough money to buy something on the way. Smellerbee and Longshot bowed again to me, before I mounted Onyx, but Jet surprised me with a hug. I hugged him back, feeling how tall and muscular he was.

"I thank the spirits for meeting you," he said. "I hope we'll see each other again and that the circumstances will allow us to spend more time together."

I felt my heart flutter in my chest and my pulse quicken, for I noticed what his intentions were. The way his voice had deepened to a low rumble, his body pressed against mine and his face buried itself in my hair, was some indication.

I was blushing, as I retreated and nodded. "I hope so, too." Then I smiled at all of them and mounted Onyx who was fed and packed. "Take care and may the spirits protect you."

* * *

_After Kilara was out of sight, Smellerbee turned to Jet with a knowing grin. "Look who looks all love struck."_

"_Shut up," Jet said, but not as annoyed as he could have. _

_Smellerbee's grin widened. "What is it with you and Water Tribe girls? Are the pale skinned Earth Kingdom girls not good enough for you?"_

_Longshot even chuckled a bit, since he remembered a time when Smellerbee had had a crush on Jet. But that was years ago. _

"_She is half from the Earth Kingdom," Jet stated through gritted teeth. _

"_Oooh, a hybrid. Even more exotic, isn't it? Did you tell her that you think that hybrids are the most beautiful people due to the mix of their elements?" Smellerbee provoked him further._

"_Shut up!" Jet then snarled and Smellerbee burst into laughter. _

* * *

I was thinking a lot about Jet, Smellerbee and Longshot, and some part of me wished that I hadn't left them, but I knew it was the right thing to do.

A few hours later I noticed that I had lost Prince Zuko's trace and I grew frustrated.

Onyx and I were wandering around in a forest where I had lost his trace and I felt my jaw tighten. Perfect. That was just perfect!

I had just gone through a narrow arid landscape and was glad to be back under trees, but that didn't matter when I had lost his damn trace!

I growled in frustration and let my head fall onto Onyx's neck. He was not all too well, either. My frustration and anger made him nervous. Sighing, I tried to soothe him, when the Earth suddenly shifted and I fell out of the saddle.

"Arrghh!" I screamed, landing on my back and groaning. "Dammit!"

Suddenly, Onyx rushed forward and I heard Earth rumble, then a shriek and Earth rumble again. Onyx made loud aggressive sounds.

"Get off me, you freaking animal! Leave me alone!" a girl screamed angrily and I did my best to sit up.

Wow, I've never seen an ostrich horse fighting with an Earthbender. While Onyx tried to snap at her face, the Earthbender sent rocks flying his way or shot out a column right under his feet.

"Hey!" I shouted, standing up and ran towards them. I focused on Onyx and grabbed his reins, dodging his razor sharp beak and claws. "Shhh. Shhh," I whispered and rubbed his neck. "Everything's okay. Everything's alright." He calmed down a bit, but neighed a bit nervously and shook his head.

"You got some overprotective ostrich horse problem," the Earthbender behind me said.

Adding to overprotective brother and uncle problem.

I sighed and turned around. "You were the one to attack us!"

The girl was smaller than I had thought and I figured she was three or four years younger than me. Her black hair was pulled up in a giant bun and I felt envious for all the hair she had. Some bangs hung into her face, almost obscuring her eyes. She wore green pants with a green and yellow tunic and her feet were bare.

She shrugged. "I only wanted to weaken you if you were going to be a threat."

"I wasn't going to be, but you hurt my ostrich horse, so maybe I will be!" I snapped at her.

She sighed heavily and stomped her foot on the ground. I frowned, watching her concentrate.

"Your demonic ostrich horse is fine. It is not injured, so calm down."

"Demonic? The only demon I see is you and since I am completely calm, it is you who should calm down!" I snarled.

The girl crossed her arms and frowned. "Let me guess… You're from the Water Tribe."

I rolled my eyes. "What is there to guess?" I asked, gesturing to my face.

Now the girl rolled her eyes. "Even if I know what you are doing and how tall and slender you are, I don't really know how you look like."

I frowned, staring at her in confusion. "Do you have an eye illness? Were you can't see colours and only shadows? What's it called? Maybe I can help you, I have healing powers."

The girl chewed on her fingernails and spit some on the ground and I made a grimace. Eewww.

"Yeah, exactly. I can't see colours, but I also can't see shadows and thank you, but your help will be useless, because it's called blindness!" Her voice had only been sarcastic at the beginning, but she shouted the word 'blindness'.

"Oh. Then do you see with your earthbending?" I asked curiously, since I knew that Nanuk could tell if I was approaching him by feeling vibrations in the Earth. He had developed that skill while we had been playing hide and seek as kids. He had won. Every single time.

But when he told me how he did it I studied waterbending and the human body with determination, until I could feel people around me due to the water in their bodies. And then I had finally won against my brother.

"Yeah, I do," she said, sounding surprised. Her bangs moved a bit to the side and I could see that she had dark circles under her eyes.

"Were you traveling all night?" I asked her.

"Yes, unfortunately. Me and the guys I was traveling with were being followed by some strange girls. And every time I wanted to sleep, some girl started snapping at me for not helping her brother with his stinky bedroll and then the other guy started shouting at me and that's when I left." She stomped her foot again and two stools of Earth shot out form the ground. She sat on one and I took the other one. "And what are you doing here?"

"Following a fugitive to warn him that the soldiers looking for him were close."

The girl nodded and sighed. "Damn, since I left home, nothing's normal."

I chuckled. "You tell me. I left home a few days ago and the first people I met told me that a firebender defended an Earth Kingdom child against Earth Kingdom soldiers. But he was still a firebender, so the villagers cast him out."

The girl whistled. "Wow. That's something. Have you ever seen someone bending blue fire?"

I flinched. " No, I haven't."

"Me neither. But if I weren't blind I had seen it just last night."

No, that couldn't be. "Did that fire come from one of those girls you mentioned?"

The girl narrowed her eyes at me. "Maybe."

"Was that far from here? Please, I need to know!" I exclaimed, leaning towards her.

"Why should I tell you? As far as I know you could be chasing these guys I travelled with, too!"

I frowned. "I have no idea who these guys are, nor why princess Azula, if it's really her, should chase them, unless they are General Iroh and Prince Zuko!"

The girl raised an eyebrow. "I was not traveling with Fire Nation royalty! But why do you think that the blue fire girl was Princess Azula?"

"Because she is known for that. She is a firebending prodigy and blue flames are damn seldom! She is looking for her brother and uncle to imprison them and I have to find Prince Zuko before her!"

"So that you can imprison him in an Earth Kingdom prison?"

"No! Because he does not deserve to be imprisoned by his sister! He is not a bad person."

"So you know him."

"Yes."

The girl chuckled. "The guys I was travelling with know him, too. But they were talking about him in a slightly different manner. I think Sokka said 'angry freak with a ponytail who tracked us all over the world'."

I frowned. "He does not have a ponytail! His hair is short!"

"Maybe he'd had one and cut his hair. Sometimes people do that."

I stared at her and tried to keep my temper down. Oh, she had a way to annoy me even worse than Nanuk!

"Then maybe he did. But he is not a freak. He might be very angry, but given the fact that his life didn't turn out the way he wanted and just went from worse to even worse, I understand it."

The girl's lips curved into a grin. "Do you have a crush on him?"

My eyes widened in horror and I sat up straight. "No! I do not!"

If I had a crush on anyone it would be Jet and I also did not have a crush on him. I did not have a crush on anyone! I was only fifteen and I had never liked boys that way!

"What is that a question to ask for an eleven years old?"

She moved her foot and some earth smacked me from underneath. "Ouch!"

"I am twelve years old!"

"Fine. Then twelve. That is still too young to think about something like that."

Suddenly she exploded in laughter. "Oh, if you could just tell that the one guy I was traveling with!"

And then it all made sense. Why the Fire Nation princess was chasing them and why they hadn't talked nicely about Prince Zuko. I remembered Jet saying that Avatar Aang's friends were called Katara and Sokka. And this girl had mentioned a Sokka. Moreover, Jet had said that the Avatar was twelve years old.

But I had no idea how old Sokka was and if she was talking about the Avatar, was she then referring to Katara or to herself?

"Are both your male companions twelve years old or is it only Aang?" I asked boldly and saw her stiffen.

She jumped to her feet. "Who the hell are you and what do you know?"

I remained seated and smirked to myself, feeling smug and good that she was suddenly angry like I had been for most of the time now! "I'm no one, really. Well, my uncle owns the biggest oats and other grain fields in the Earth Kingdom, but that's not so important."

"You're a Huang?"

I was completely startled by that. "You know my family's name?"

"I know every important Earth Kingdom name," she stated arrogantly and crossed her arms again.

"Why?"

"Was part of my education."

"And who are you? You're clearly from a fine family, too, if you learned all these names."

"You go first."

"You already know my name!"

"Your family's name, but not your first name!"

"Hnpf." I looked away.

I heard her sighing. "We can do this the nice way or the hard way. I am an Earth Rumble Champion and whatever good your bending is, you cannot take me! So, tell me your name and what business you have with the Avatar and those Fire Nation royals!"

I clenched my teeth, but knew that I would just be losing time if I let myself talked into a fight by her. "My name is Kilara Huang. I met Prince Zuko a few days ago. After he left Fire Nation soldiers came to look for him, and I left after them to find and warn him. Yesterday I met some guys who want to go to Ba Sing Se. They said that they had met Avatar Aang, Katara and Sokka. They told me about them. I've never met them myself and I only know things about Princess Azula by stories. Satisfied?"

The girl smirked and sat down again. "Was that this difficult?"

I nearly punched her in the face, but I think she knew that.

"My name is Toph Beifong and I agreed to teach the Avatar earthbending. I've only been traveling with them for a day, but since Katara is a little bitch and Aang cannot stomach the truth, I am out of there now!" Her voice sounded pretty sulkily and she huffed.

I raised my eyebrows. "You are a Beifong? I didn't know they had more relatives with the name." As far as I knew, Lao and Poppy Beifong were the only ones with the name Beifong, since Lao didn't have any siblings and his parents were dead.

Toph rolled her eyes. "Lao and Poppy are my parents."

I nearly shrieked in surprise. "What? But… I've never heard of…"

Toph interrupted me. "They kept me sheltered because of my blindness. They think I'm fragile and weak and that I can't look after myself. Even after seeing how I defeated seven earthbending pros in a row, my father wanted to keep me sheltered."

I whistled. "Wow, and here I thought I needed to complain about the overprotectiveness of my family."

Toph smiled a bit at that. "That's why I agreed to follow Aang. I didn't want to stay at home. But now I don't know what to do."

I felt sad for the small girl who sounded so tough. I laughed at that thought.

"What is it?" she snapped.

"I just thought you were tough and that sounds a bit like Toph, you know, your name."

Toph raised her eyebrows and sighed. "I guess the Water Tribes all have the same kind of humour."

I smiled at that. "Maybe. My father always says I've got my mother's humour and she is from the Northern Water Tribe."

"So you're a hybrid, then?"

I nodded. "Yep. Half water, a quarter earth and the other quarter fire."

Toph whistled again. "So you're nearly an Avatar yourself."

I laughed a bit at that and shrugged. "Not quite, but I'm a really good waterbender."

Toph smiled. "I don't doubt it." She stood up and the earth stools disappeared into the forest floor again, making me fall flat on my rear. "I don't want to stand in your way from finding your precious prince. Go on, then!"

I just managed to stand up, rubbing my rear. "He is not…"

But Toph only laughed. "Seriously. If he's not that bad he doesn't deserve to be found by his sister. That's some scary badass."

I shuddered, but smiled and bowed to her. "Thank you very much. Also for trusting me."

Toph grinned, but bowed back. "It's not trust, it's knowing. You weren't lying, then why should I lie to you?"

"Good point." I mounted Onyx and smiled down at the earthbender. "I hope you'll find a solution to your situation and that your parents will understand you sometime."

"Thank you. Now go and find the angry freak!" she exclaimed and sent a rock to Onyx's butt which made him running.

"Uaahh!" I had some trouble to take control over the reins again, but soon enough I had them firm in my grip.

It took me more time than I wished for to find the other ostrich horse's trace again and I had already become frustrated. It only got worse when I noticed that Prince Zuko had been followed by another trace. Two deep parallel lines of some giant vehicle. Oh no. Was that Princess Azula?

I pressed my thighs deeper into Onyx's sides, making him go faster.

"Come on!" I said through gritted teeth. "Don't make me be too late!"

I don't know how much time had passed, it could have been a few minutes or an hour, but I could see the vehicle in the distance and I chose to approach it from the side, when I saw a trace of some giant lizard feet and also the ostrich horse trace again which led both away from the vehicle. I felt somehow relieved to know that Prince Zuko was not here yet. Again I pressed Onyx to become faster, since I knew that now every second was important.

The lizard's traces divided, only one following the ostrich horse and I had a mental image of Princess Azula – even if I didn't know how she looked like – to strike her brother down, throwing him out of a house. My jaw set in anger and I barely noticed the other trace of white fur, when I came into a large arid valley, surrounded by a mountain range. In the distance I could see some smoke in a small village and I even made Onyx run faster.

"Come on!" I said again, praying that I wasn't too late. I made it to the entrance of the village, noticing that it was abandoned and jumped from Onyx's back, seeing another ostrich horse down the road. I sighed, feeling relieved, but then I saw the giant lizard creature behind me and flinched. However, it didn't do anything to attack and I simply made my way towards the fighting noise. But suddenly it died down and I started running faster, making it around the corner of a house to see several people focusing on a girl in a corner. She held her hands high.

"A princess surrenders with honour," I heard her saying.

I swallowed and chose to remain where I was. They were six against one: Prince Zuko, two Water Tribe kids, a boy clad in orange and yellow, I recognised Toph and there was an old man with a giant belly. Probably General Iroh and the other three kids had to be Sokka, Avatar Aang and Kat…

All of a sudden the princess made a step forward and shot a blast of blue fire at General Iroh. My hand went to my mouth, when I suppressed a cry.

The old man groaned and fell to the ground, not moving. Prince Zuko roared in rage and suddenly all of them attacked the princess with their elements. Sokka threw a metal weapon at her, but I didn't know what it was called. The elements exploded and I ducked around the house corner. When I looked at them again the princess was gone.

Prince Zuko sat beside his uncle, his head in his hands and groaning angrily.

Aang, Sokka, Katara and Toph approached them and suddenly Prince Zuko turned his head. "Get away from us!" he shouted.

They didn't move, then Katara took a few steps forward. "Zuko, I can help!" she offered.

But he only sent fire their way without burning them and yelled: "Leave!"

The four friends looked at each other and turned away, leaving.

I frowned at them, wondering why they hadn't still tried to help the old man, but I knew I could help.

I built up my courage and took a deep breath, before I made my way to them. Prince Zuko didn't seem to be in a good mood and I needed to be careful.

When he noticed me his head snapped up and I could tell that he was ready to yell again or fight again, but he flinched when he saw me and his eyes widened slightly. "What are you doing here?" he asked, still sounding a bit hostile.

Oh moon! Swallowing I braced up and moved closer to the two Fire Nation royals.

"I want to help," I simply said. "I can heal him with my waterbending," I added and saw how his features only deepened into a scowl. "If you let me he'll survive. He'll be fine again."

His eyes narrowed at me, then he looked down at his uncle and his expression softened slightly. "Fine," he growled. "Go ahead and heal him. But any funny business and I'll make you pay!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

**Mutual Understanding**

_**Kilara**_

My eyes widened in fear, but I remained where I was. I knelt down beside the general and bent water out of my water flask. Then I lay my hands on his chest and concentrated to feel the state of his body.

Yes, the fire had done a lot of damage. His heart was affected, but I concentrated to make the water knit everything back together, soothe the flesh and make the burn go away.

When I removed my hands, the skin was a bit rosy, but everything was closed and I knew that his heart was out of danger.

I sighed and looked up at the prince. Should I let him know that I knew his true identity?

Instead I said: "That's your uncle, isn't it?"

He nodded while examining my work on his uncle's chest. He looked completely amazed. "I've never seen healing powers before," he said softly.

"He's out of danger for now, but I'll need to heal him later again. His heart should be okay, but he'll need rest. Lots of sleep and he shouldn't move a lot in the next couple of days," I explained.

Prince Zuko frowned. "I thought, you just had to heal him once and that would be it."

I shook my head. "That's only the beginning and it depends on the graveness of the injury. The new tissue I have created is still fragile and it will become stronger when I'll heal him again. The human body cannot bear a full healing, for it would do more damage than healing. Our bodies are used to things going slowly."

"I see," he murmured and absentmindedly touched the scar on his face.

Painfully the memory of the old man from the hostile village came back to me, as he had said that the Fire Lord – Prince Zuko's own father – had done this to him.

The dying sun turned everything into bright orange light, making the prince's skin seem darker and his eyes more amber than golden.

Prince Zuko pinched his nose, and then he looked at me and swallowed. "Thank you. But what do you want for it?"

I frowned. "Want? Lee, I only did that to help you both."

His eyes narrowed again and I was thinking about these stupid villagers who had hated him for helping a child.

"I have no desire to see your uncle die or to see you suffer when I can help. After all, the water healers' codex is to never turn your back on people who need you." My mother had told me that and that's what had irritated me earlier with Katara. She shouldn't have backed away just because of some fire and an angry teenager.

"Is there anything else I can do?" I asked. "Are you hurt?"

He shook his head, now looking down at his uncle. "Have you been following me?" he wanted to know, his voice deep and calm. It reminded me of the sea before a storm.

"Yes, I have." And like I had anticipated his head snapped up and he let out a low growl. There was even smoke coming out of his nostrils.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "There were soldiers coming to my house, looking for you. You were only a few hours ahead of them, so I chose to try to find you to warn you. I then also learned about the princess and I simply got worried! It is not me who wants to imprison you!"

He looked away and I figured that he didn't know how to react. But then: "Thank you. That was not necessary." His voice was completely neutral and I wondered if he really meant it.

"Well, it looks like it's still good that I followed you. If I hadn't been here…"

The prince flinched, pressing his eyes shut.

I swallowed and didn't know what to say. How could I get him to trust me again? He must have been through a lot since the last time I had seen him.

"Listen, I am only here because I want to help you. I don't want anything from you."

He sighed and I could nearly see how his anger flew away. "Okay. You want to help? Help me carry my uncle away from here."

I nodded, getting to my feet. "Wait here. I have an ostrich horse, he can carry your uncle."

He nodded, eying me warily as I turned around and ran to get Onyx. He wasn't as far away as I had left him and I gently pulled at his reins, noticing that the lizard was gone and that the other ostrich horse was following Onyx to the princes.

"Here," I said, stopping and then kneeling down, helping the prince to lay the general on Onyx's back.

"We have to get out of here. Azula can be back any second," Prince Zuko said, nodding towards the mountain range.

I raised an eyebrow at the way he spoke out the princess's name without mentioning her title. But I merely nodded and led Onyx on.

The prince mounted the other ostrich horse and held his hand out to me. "Come on. We'll be faster like this."

I nodded again and took his hand, letting him help me to get onto his ostrich horse. I still held Onyx's reins while my other arm lay around the prince's waist. Otherwise I would have fallen down.

I couldn't relax for one second, always looking over my shoulder if the evil princess would follow us. But nothing happened and we reached the mountains without any trouble. The ostrich horses began the ascent and we found an abandoned and completely decayed house on the top of a mountain.

I went through my stuff and laid out my bedroll for the old general in the biggest room of the house. Then I helped the prince to lay him down there, gently.

"Why isn't he waking up?", the prince demanded to know.

"He will remain like this for a while. His wound has healed, but his body and mind still need to recover. His energy level is still not high enough to wake up."

The prince nodded simply and settled into a lotus position.

What was there to do for me now? He clearly didn't want to talk and I've already saved his uncle.

My mother had always reminded me that also if waterhealing was great and all, one should never rely on one solution only. So I stood up and looked for bandage in my bag.

I had really packed my things carefully, thinking about every outcome.

I also had a medicine against burns with me and I went back with that to the general. As I started to remove his tunic Prince Zuko's hands grabbed mine. "What are you doing?" he asked, his voice low and under control. Damn, there must really be a storm raging inside of him.

"That'll help him. That is simply balm against burns and the bandage will simply cover it up," I explained calmly and freed my wrists from his grip.

I could feel his eyes on me, while I was working. He clearly was behaving like a scared deer dog and I sighed lowly.

"What is it?" he immediately wanted to know, leaning forward and staring at his uncle and me.

"Oh, nothing. He's fine."

"Then why were you sighing?"

I had to suppress a chuckle. "Are you serious? I'm not allowed to sigh after I worried for you for days and slept on the forest floor and rode an ostrich horse fourteen hours a day?"

"It's not like I have been doing any other things," he spat out and crossed his arms in front of his chest, looking to the side.

"Is that why you're behaving like an idiot again?" I asked and was suddenly glad that I hadn't told him that I knew who he was. Talking like that to the prince of the Fire Nation… urgh.

"Don't you talk to me like this!" he roared and clenched his fists.

"Will you be quiet?! Your uncle needs silence and rest and what if the princess is still out there?" I hissed and only felt a little bit satisfied as I saw him flinch.

For a few moments his expression looked actually like a little boy's pout, then he got up on his feet. "I'm going outside."

I watched him go and continued to wrap the general's left chest in bandages.

When I was done I waited a few minutes for the prince to come back. When he didn't I got worried, grabbed three water flasks, that I bound around my waist and went outside quietly.

The prince was nowhere to be seen, but there were also no signs of a fight.

I rubbed my hand over my face, feeling tired and exhausted. Sighing I walked further towards the trees and the boulders and made my way through them. Even if I didn't find the prince I would at least explore the surroundings and know advantages and disadvantages of the environment. But I couldn't move far away and leave the old general defenceless.

I looked around again one more time and chose to go back.

When I wanted to lie down to try to get some sleep I felt my stomach rumble and growled in an annoyed manner. I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast that day. That had still been with Jet, Smellerbee and Longshot, but it felt like it was a week ago. So much had happened that day.

And now I didn't have anything to eat. I still had some money to buy food, but where could I buy food in the desert where there only were rocks and an abandoned village?

Maybe I had been stupid to give my food to the three friends, but I didn't regret it. They needed it more. It would take me less than a week to get back home and I knew that humans could live longer than a week without food. The only thing was that I wasn't used to not eating for days. I have never skipped a meal, not once. I always cherished those moments when my family came together to eat and talk.

I curled up on the floor, near to the general and watched his steady breathing.

Although Prince Zuko hadn't behaved in a welcoming manner towards me I was sure to not fear anything from him.

He didn't know that I knew who he was, so he only could behave like 'Lee' would. He also had left me alone with his uncle and I realised that this was proof of his trust in me. I couldn't help but smile at that thought although I was shivering.

I tried to concentrate on General Iroh's constant breathing to fall asleep, but the chilly night air in the desert hindered me. I rubbed my arms and tried to ignore it.

After a while I could hear footsteps and soon enough there was a shadow in the doorway. Without any light I couldn't see who it was, but he ignited a flame in his hand, illuminating the pale and angular face of his with the raven black hair on top of it.

He came closer and lied down on the other side of his uncle, snuffing the flame, which truly was a shame, since it also had warmed the air a little bit.

"Would you mind to make a fire?" I asked.

Instead of answering he got up and I thought that he would break the furniture apart for firewood, but he walked around his uncle and settled next to me.

I turned towards him, a small frown on my face.

"You're cold?" he asked, but it sounded more like a statement.

I nodded.

"A fire would light the house too much and if we don't want to sleep in smoke, the smoke will rise and show everyone around that there's someone here. That wouldn't be good," he said softly.

"Oh, right. Sorry, I just… it's okay." I bit down on my lip and tried to suppress my shivers.

Suddenly I felt warmth coming from in front of me, as if there was a campfire, but I only could see the prince there. I looked at him questioningly.

"I can heat my body temperature," he explained, not looking at me.

I only stared at him, asking myself if it would be okay if I'd move closer to him. He was so warm and I wanted to snuggle into his heat, to feel it as if a blanket would cover me.

He seemed to notice that, since he turned on his side to face me. "Er… if you need to you can come a little closer." His voice was very hesitant and almost sounding shy.

Without saying a word I closed the gap between us and snuggled my head under his chin. I let out a soft sigh.

And yep, I was still aware of the fact that this was the prince of the Fire Nation, but he was also just a moody teenager and had never wanted to hurt me. Despite of what he was I trusted him.

Well, at least with not killing me in my sleep.

His heart beat quickly and his body seemed tense, as I laid a hand between our bodies, almost touching his chest.

I was almost already asleep when I felt him relax and then laying his arm loosely on my waist.

A light smile curved my lips and I noticed that I felt strangely safe with him.

_**Zuko**_

There was not one rational reason forming in my head for having this girl in my arms.

First, there was no reason for why she was here at all. Why bother with following me for days, just to warn me about soldiers?

I knew she had said that she only wanted to help, but I couldn't get it into my head that she was doing this selflessly. That didn't make sense to me, since I've never met anyone like that.

But I also had never wanted to hold a girl in my arms like other guys did. And now I did.

Why did she want to be here? Why did I allow it?

Well, my body had an answer, but it was none that pleased me. All of my previous teenager years I had contempted how other boys had acted just because of some hormones. I actually had been proud of myself for not feeling or acting on such primal needs. It hadn't been anything important to me and honestly, I never had had the time to think about something like that.

Uncle had tried to wake up my interest for many girls, even some prostitutes, but I always had felt uncomfortable with that and I had had other things on my mind. How could Uncle expect me to flirt or to have sex, when I needed to find the Avatar? When I needed to practise, to meditate, to prepare for my encounter with him?

I had been obsessed with the Avatar and now I had to concentrate on surviving. There had been no place for puberty or girls.

Still, I couldn't help but feel a bit shy and unsure about having La in my arms. She was a nice and pretty girl. And I held her in my arms, while she was asleep.

I had done that willingly. I had put my arm around her.

My mind had apparently found another obsession, since I couldn't think about anything else. How was I going to sleep like that?

How could she be so calm that she could sleep? That was not fair.

Why were my hormones raging, but hers did allow her to sleep?

I sighed and shifted around to get me a bit more comfortable, but that was kind of impossible on that hard wooden floor.

But after a while my exhaustion kicked in and I could finally find some peace of mind. As I relaxed I noticed that La felt nice in another way. She made me a bit more comfortable and now even helped me to relax more. I hadn't slept next to a person since I had been a little child and maybe that was already fourteen years ago, but it felt really nice. Reassuring and comforting.

I wondered how it would feel to lie behind her, to press my chest against her back or if I could snuggle my head between her chest and shoulder, as I had often done, when I had been curled up on my mother's lap.

But for now, I was lying on my side, one arm tugged under my head, the other one around her and her hot breath against my chest.

I glanced at Uncle for one last time then I closed my eyes and allowed the tiredness to wash my consciousness away.

As usual I felt a thrilling energy running through my body at sunrise and opened my eyes. Uncle seemed fine and the interior of the house hadn't changed one bit during the night. We probably were still safe.

But La's head wasn't snuggled under my chin anymore. No, her face was right in front of mine, our noses almost touching. I blinked a few times and noticed that we had gotten really close over the night. We held each other in a tight embrace, our bodies touched from chest to toe and my leg lied between hers, so that hers was on top of mine.

I swallowed and tried to keep my calm. She probably only had sought my warmth and I her softness. It was different from hard floors or the mattresses on my ship where the whole interior of my cabin had only had sharp edges, but that softness was nice. I probably had wanted it unconsciously, which I didn't like at all.

The sky got lighter, but the air was still cold.

I was hungry and I wanted to do some firebending exercises, but if I left, La would be cold again.

Well, what did I care? I had been nice enough, letting her cuddle with me all night long. That was certainly already too much to give from a prince of the Fire Nation. My father hadn't let her do this. He'd let her freeze.

Determined to find back that prince inside of me, who I should be, I pulled away, though slowly and carefully to not wake her up. Her body wiggled a bit and she moaned slightly in her sleep, while it looked like she was reaching out for me, clearly already missing my body heat. I stared at her in astonishment. Even if it was only my body heat, I felt thrilled at the thought that she was missing something from me. Since Lu Ten and my mother no one ever had, or at least no one had ever shown me that they missed anything about me.

Okay, alright, there was Uncle, but… that wasn't enough.

Maybe that was supposed to show me that firebenders were indeed better than others, for we didn't have to shiver. At least not in normal climate zones. I had taken my toll on freezing at the North Pole. My firebending had saved my life, but I still had been cold like I'd never been before and I hadn't been able to do anything against that.

Frowning I stood up, checking on Uncle's pulse, and went outside where I began with stretching and breathing exercises.

I turned my back to the big opening of the house, for I was sure that I wouldn't be able to concentrate that well with looking at a sleeping La and a resting Uncle.

After that I moved through a few basic katas to warm up and concentrated on keeping the flames as small as possible.

When I was satisfied with that I tested my agility, which was most important in close combat fighting and which had been very important yesterday and probably had saved my life.

I ached to run towards the boulders, which were scattered around the small forest next to the decayed house, to run between them and climb them and jump from one to another, but I wouldn't move that far away from the house.

After a few back flips, somersaults and cartwheels I sank slowly into a back arch and felt a sudden hurt in my stomach. Hissing I stood up again and pressed my hands against my stomach, which didn't stop hurting.

I hoped it only was a strained muscle, while I was warming my hand a bit to ease the pain.

"You liar!" I heard La shouting from the open wall in the house and quickly turned to look at her, wide eyed. What was it? Had she somehow found out who I really was?

"You are hurt!" she accused me.

I held back a sigh and shook my head. "I didn't lie to you. I only felt it now."

La huffed and marched towards me, her expression determined. I backed away before she could come into my personal space.

"Why are you walking away?" she asked, her hands on her hips.

"Because I don't want you toe to toe with me!"

"And then how should I heal you?"

"Heal me?" I frowned, feeling confused.

Her expression softened a bit. "Yes, heal you! You are hurt, I am a healer!"

"But…" Okay, I didn't even know what to say instead of 'A Fire Nation prince will not be healed by a waterbender hybrid!', but obviously I couldn't say that.

"Lie down!" she ordered, and I kept standing, feeling rather defiant at her orders. No one was ordering me around!

"Oh moon! You are so stubborn! What's it to this? I don't think that you know anything more about healing than me, so would you please lie down, since it is the best position to heal your stomach!" she explained, sounding angry.

I didn't want to make her angry and I also didn't want to feel the pain in my stomach, but still… I was the prince of the Fire Nation and I had let this girl help me with far too much.

"Lee, please. I just want to help you. Please lie down and let me heal you. It won't hurt, I promise," she said softly and I stared at her, trying to read her.

Finally, I nodded and lied down on the earth.

I tried not to flinch or show any sign of discomfort or fear, when she removed my tunic from my stomach. I swallowed, tensing up extremely.

That would be okay. She only wanted to help.

I was not lying here helplessly. There was not going to be any pain or suffering.

I felt cool water on my skin that soothed the pain until it was gone.

Wow, that had felt incredible.

I regretted that I hadn't watched how La had done it.

She retreated and I sat back up quickly, closing my tunic and looking at her.

She looked different from the last time I had seen her. She wore normal green and brown clothes, similar to my own, but her hair was in a bun again.

Her face was a bit dirty and she looked exhausted, her cheeks even not as round as they had been a week ago. It couldn't be healthy to lose such weight in little time.

There was still some bread, meat and fruit in my bag and I was happy to finally be able to offer her something.

"Thank you," I quickly said as I remembered what she had just done to me. "For the healing. Er… Are you hungry?"

"Yeah, a lot actually," she said, looking flushed.

"Then let's get some breakfast." I stood up, brushing off the dirt from my clothes and walked back to the house.

I heard her sigh and follow me.

Uncle still lay there motionlessly except for his breathing. I really tried to be patient with him or with La's healing powers, but it always felt like a stab into my stomach when I saw him like this.

Not so long ago I had referred to him as lazy and weak, but I thought that I understood him better now. Uncle's powers have never been weak; he hadn't been called the Dragon of the West for tea drinking and proverbs reciting. But it always was a shocking surprise to me to see him using his full bending capacities to go against an enemy.

My understanding for his weakness had been his lack of willingness to fight or to attack. I knew that Uncle was kind and friendly, but I had never understood how he could hold onto these features in regard of war or an enemy.

And hadn't I met La, I still wouldn't understand it. But La was kind and friendly towards her enemies (e.g. me), too, which I still didn't understand fully, but I knew that I could be kind and friendly towards her, too, without being betrayed or burnt.

I wanted Uncle to wake up desperately, just so that he could see that I learned something from him. I wanted to know what he thought about La and if I was right with trusting her. If he would support me with these kinds of feelings.

I really much thought he would, but then again I was rarely capable of predicting his thoughts.

I pressed my eyes shut to clear my mind, while I was kneeling down to search in my bag for food. This was still from Lee and his family. They had given that to me before they had known who I was, obviously.

I pulled out the bread, cheese and dried meat they had given me. I put some of it to the side for Uncle, then I handed some food to La, who sat down in front of me.

She smiled at me, as she accepted and inclined her head a bit. "Thank you."

I merely nodded and took some bites from the bread. I was wary of her gaze, for I thought that she might have a lot of questions. All of them would lead her to who I am.

"How have you been?"

That was not the kind of question I had anticipated.

I stopped eating and had to think, my mind going kind of blank. "Well, I… er…" I sighed and let my head down. "I'm here, aren't I? And I'm fine. So I have been okay."

La's eyes narrowed at me. "I don't believe you. You are so different from the last time I have seen you. And that was only a few days ago."

I flinched. "What should be different?"

"You."

"I'm not different!" I snapped. "I haven't changed one…" No, I couldn't end this sentence, not when I knew that it was not true at all. Even I knew that I had changed. Meeting Lee, his family, those soldiers and the hateful hostility against the Fire Nation had changed me a little bit.

La's expression went smug and I glared at her.

"I had to convince you again and again that I only want to help. You are so distrustful, as if we had never met. I helped you last time, didn't I? Why wouldn't you trust me now with helping you?" She paused in her meal and looked at me with these questions in her eyes.

I tensed all the more. "That's ridiculous," I muttered.

"No, you are being ridiculous!" she hissed at me, much harsher than I had thought.

I narrowed my eyes at her, since I didn't like to be talked to like that. "It's not ridiculous to be cautious! I was just trying to protect my uncle!"

La folded her arms and looked the other way. "I had found out that you were from the Fire Nation, because of your eye colour. But I still trusted you. Even when you were almost praising the Fire Lord, I knew you were not going to harm me. And I know you won't now. You don't want to. So if I can trust you, then why can't you trust me? I am younger than you, I am a female, I am a waterbending hybrid! Why are you scared?"

My eyes widened as I stared at her frustrated face. My jaw clenched and I looked to the side. People being younger than me or female had never stopped me from being cautious around them. If I hadn't been I would have had a lot more bones cracked in my childhood. "It's not as easy as you put it."

"Oh, really?" she drawled.

My head snapped back at her. "Yes!" I hissed. "I was raised totally differently than you were. Trust would have probably get me killed at the… in the Fire Nation, and I can accept that you wanted to help me then, but why in the names of the dragons did you follow me to warn me? No one asked you to! That doesn't make any sense!"

She frowned in confusion and looked at Uncle.

I shook my head. "Don't get me wrong. I'm glad you were here to save him. I'll probably be in your debt forever. But giving someone food is different from leaving home to follow someone. Leaving home is nothing that one just does like this." I would have never done it if I had had the choice. The palace was the only place where my mother's memory was still around and now the only thing I had from her was my Blue Spirit mask.

La lowered her gaze. "You're right. It was no easy decision. I was asking myself the whole day if I was going to follow you or stay with my family. But there was always the possibility that the soldiers would find you, because I hadn't gone to find you and I only didn't want that to happen. If there is a way to help someone, to prevent something bad from happening, then you just have to do it," she said quietly.

All I could do was staring. Was she serious? Was she really just here out of compassion?

"But," I started, but was interrupted.

"You might be an idiot for believing the Fire Lord is a good person, but you're still just a teenager. You can still change. And I don't want to be consumed by the hatred against the Fire Nation. I have seen what it does to people and I won't let that happen to me. Not again," she added softly and I frowned.

"What happened?" I asked without thinking.

"After my mother died and my father brought my brother and me to the Fire Nation to show us that it is not the whole Fire Nation which is evil… I, erm… I heard someone talk about waterbenders and how sad it was that their last waterbender prisoner had just died a week ago, since he wanted to know how they would be like. His father had told him that waterbenders were more enjoyable in bed and now he would never find out." Her voice became hoarse and she swallowed. "I almost killed that man. He was a visitor to one of my father's friends and I wasn't even supposed to hear them talking, but I couldn't… I couldn't hold back at that time and I was lashing out blindly with water. He fell down a balcony and broke several bones. He'll never walk again."

My mouth went slightly open, while I was trying to process that this girl, one of the friendliest persons I've ever met, had nearly killed someone.

But then again, it still might be my fault that her mother was dead. It could have been me, but I would only know if she'd tell me when exactly her mother had died.

Finally I nodded. "I understand," I said hoarsely and quickly cleared my throat. "Anger is a powerful source which can overwhelm one very easily."

La nodded and tried to smile, but she only shook her head. "Wow, after knowing this you'll definitely never trust me."

I hesitated. "Actually, that's not true. I guess I understand you better now and that makes it easier to trust you."

"Pardon?" She looked totally taken aback and I had to fight a grin.

"You have done your part in acting out your anger and now you see that you don't have to do this anymore. You've had enough. I can understand that, because my uncle feels the same way." At that I looked at him and saw his stomach move up and down.

"You don't?" La asked cautiously.

I frowned and shook my head. How could I? I've never been part of this war. "No. I've been my whole life in the Fire Nation and then I was given my mission. The war never mattered a lot to me. It was simply how things were. We are trying to take over the world and due to our technological progress that has become mostly pretty easy. I've never questioned the fact that we are superior or that water-, earth- and air people are not as strong as we are. Now I know that was not true, but I have never lost anything to the war. I've never been part of it. My mission was everything, but I don't think that I helped people to see that the Fire Nation are not only monsters."

La's mouth shaped into a frown and I knew that she tried to understand me. Then she finished her food and got up, walking towards Uncle and settling beside him. I stayed where I was, watching her and she smiled at me. I felt heat crawling into my cheeks, but tried to return the smile. I hadn't smiled for… I didn't know, but I hoped that I didn't look creepy.

La bent water from her flask and moved it around Uncle's shoulder, pressing her palms to it and closing her eyes. My eyes widened as I saw the water glow in a pale shade of blue. It truly was beautiful.

How could the Fire Nation not respect these benders? They did things that we could never dream of.

Sighing contentedly La guided the water back into her flask and closed the lid. "He's fine and stable. His chi is responding very cooperatively to the healing which is a really good thing. I guess he will wake up soon. Just tell him to not move the shoulder too much and that he will need to rest at least for two days again."

"Tell him?" I asked, almost a hint of fear in my voice.

La's smile became sad. "I've healed him enough. There isn't anything I can do now and he will get better without me, too."

"You're leaving," I stated, keeping my voice calm and level.

Yesterday I had nearly been angry at her for showing up, but now… It was nice to talk to a person my age and to be open. I knew that Uncle would want me to talk to him, too, but he wouldn't understand everything. And La was far more interesting than Uncle to learn about.

"Yes. I've been gone long enough. I warned you and I helped you." She took a deep breath. "And now I will have to return to my family. My uncle is probably going to shove me into some noble's arms the moment I'll come back, so that I won't be his problem anymore, and my brother would want to lock me into my room for ten years. Or he'll complain about the fact that I didn't ask him to come with me." She paused. "I did consider it, since I've never been without him, but I didn't think it would be wise."

I nodded. "I'm glad you did come alone."

"It appeared to be the best way." She shrugged.

We were looking at each other for a few more seconds and I was wondering if I would ever see this blue green gaze again.

Then she picked up her things and marched out into the sunlight.

I quickly got up and followed her, watching how she greeted her ostrich horse. Her hair had a reddish gleam in the sunlight and I saw some lighter strands of hair around her face. I've never seen such light hair. I approached her, without knowing why, but when I stood in front of her I felt the urge to hug her, to hold her close.

Damn puberty!

La smiled. "Take care. Watch after yourself and your uncle. And you should really try to go to Ba Sing Se."

I didn't want to go there and I was sure that uncle didn't want that either. Lu Ten had died there. I didn't want to see the walls which had managed to stop the Dragon of the West.

But I nodded. "Have a safe journey. I hope your reunion with your family will be peaceful."

La's smile widened and she laughed softly. "That really is something to worry about, but they won't hurt me or anything."

"Thank you again. For everything. I still don't deserve your kindness, La."

Her expression softened and suddenly her hand reached up to clasp my right cheek. My eyes widened, but I didn't pull back.

"You deserve it. I know." Her thumb brushed over my skin, then her hand retreated to her side again. "And by the way, maybe you should start calling me by my full name. It's Kilara."

I almost grinned. I knew it! I knew that La was not her real name!

"Kilara," I repeated softly and she smiled and suddenly mounted the ostrich horse.

I stepped back, swallowing, regretting that I hadn't found the courage to hug her. But I was also kind of glad, since that would have been awkward.

"Until next time." A glint appeared in her gaze and her smile widened slightly. "Prince Zuko." Then she flicked the reins and the ostrich horse darted forward, away and out of my sight, leaving me completely thunderstruck.

* * *

_He cursed his sister for running away again. What the hell had she been thinking? And where the hell was she going?_

_He had thought first that Kira would go to find her father in the Fire Nation, but Onyx's trace led southeast. What if she came across the Fire Nation soldiers from a few days ago? What if she was robbed or raped or killed?_

_Nanuk clenched his teeth and kept on earthbending to race after his sister's trace. _

_He could see a small village in the semiarid plain and ran and bent even more. But when he came to the entrance of the village, many people seemed to await him with improvised weapons which were in fact instruments for farming. _

"_What do you want here, earthbender?" a man with a pitchfork shouted._

_Nanuk panted heavily, but he pulled the painting out of his bag. He unrolled it and stepped towards the man with the pitchfork. "I'm looking for my sister. I've followed her trace and she seems to have been here. Have you seen her?" _

_The man frowned as he stared at the painting and looked over his shoulder at the other villagers. _

_Suddenly muttering spread across the villagers and the man looked back at him. _

"_There was a young Water Tribe girl here three days ago and she looks like the girl on the painting. She said she was a refugee and going to Ba Sing Se," he said._

_Nanuk felt anger running through his body and he wanted to crush something. Dammit! What was Kira's problem? She couldn't just run away, because she didn't want to marry someone! She pretended to run from the Fire Nation? What the earthquake?_

_Why hadn't she talked to him about this? Why did she leave without telling him? Did he mean that little to her?_

_He snorted. "Where did she go?"_

_A young man suddenly stepped next to the older man and folded his arms. "Well, we could tell you, but there is something that I don't understand." _

_Nanuk narrowed his eyes. He really didn't have time for this. The badgermoles knew what could happen to Kira!_

"_Why are you looking for her, if she is just a refugee? Are you a refugee, too? Because, honestly, you don't look like one. You're wearing too fine clothes." _

"_So what?" Nanuk growled. _

_The boy only narrowed his eyes at him. "I think your sister ran from you and your family. And if she decided to do that, she probably had a reason to. We won't be the reason for you to be able to drag her back!"_

_Nanuk clenched his fists and nearly growled at the older boy. So fine, he was only fifteen years old, but he was a good fighter and he so would get the information he needed. He took a deep breath to calm down. _

"_My sister was fine with us. If you're indicating what I think you do, then let me tell you that no one ever hurt her and that we all love her and that I am looking for her, because she could get herself hurt or killed or raped or imprisoned and dammit, just tell me, where she went!" He couldn't take it anymore. He needed to know where Kira was. He needed to know if she was fine, why she ran away and he needed her with him again. He needed her close, for she was his other half and she never had been away from him for so long!_

"_Of course you'd say that," the older boy said and Nanuk saw how they all moved closer together. _

_He became desperate. "Please! Okay, please just tell me where she went. I only want her to be safe. She's only fifteen and she went through your village alone and you let her go off alone? What people let a fifteen year old girl be by herself?" he asked angrily. _

_The villagers didn't seem to like the insult and started to shout unintelligible things. _

"_The Earth Kingdom… children… fight!"_

"_Fifteen is old… alone… spoiled brat!"_

_Nanuk's jaw clenched. "I don't care and this is not my fault! But I won't let my sister down! Just tell me, please!"_

_Some people seemed to want to tell him, but the older boy scowled at them and shook his head. "No way. She is going to be safe in Ba Sing Se. Safe from you and your family!"_

_Nanuk's temper snapped. He growled and bended without thinking. He wanted to knock this ass to the ground, but before his rock made contact with the boy, he himself was hit by something and lost his consciousness._

* * *

_**Zuko**_

I was tempted to shout after L… Kilara, but I kept quiet and watched her leave, until I couldn't see her anymore.

Holy dragons, she had known who I was!

She had known!

How long had she known?

Had she known from the beginning? How did she find out? Why didn't she tell me?

And more important: Why did she still help me?

I ran my hand through my hair, something I had started doing a few days ago. When I had been a child, I had done this very often, when my hair hadn't been tied up.

I shut my eyes and tried to control the storm of thoughts and feelings in my head.

Nothing seemed to make sense anymore! My father wanted me imprisoned, there was nothing I could do to gain his respect and love again. Azula had never really liked Uncle, but she had just tried to kill him!

The Avatar's waterbending friend had offered her help to me and Uncle, and I was reminded of how the Avatar had asked me, if we could have been friends before the war.

And Kilara… she had helped me so much without wanting to have anything for it! She had helped me despite me being from the Fire Nation and a firebender and the fact that I had tried to steal from her family! She knew who I was and she still wanted to help me.

I pressed my palms to my temples and tried to shove every nice thing which anyone who was not from the Fire Nation had ever done to or for me away.

I needed to concentrate on something to clear my mind. Yeah, that would help. Firebending! I should totally practise that!

Taking a deep breath I started going through an advanced kata, but I noticed that my movements weren't perfect. My fire wasn't strong enough.

I needed to be good, I needed to be better if I wanted to fight and win against Azula. Yesterday had been humiliating for me. It had been too easy for Azula to knock me out.

I worked my body and inner fire for hours, until I nearly couldn't catch my breath anymore.

Suddenly black spots appeared in my vision and I started to feel a little dizzy. I laid my hands onto my knees and panted heavily.

Dammit, I needed water!

Swallowing I stumbled back into the hut and drank from my water flask. Fortunately I still had another one and I had noticed more water in Uncle's bag, too. Probably for tea only.

I sighed and sat down, staring at him. How long would he stay like this?

Now that he was here with me again I didn't want to leave him. I didn't want him to leave.

I bent my knees to my chest and buried my face in my hands.

It had been a mistake to leave Uncle. Of course, I had been able to help Lee and I had learned about the deep hatred the Earth Kingdom held for my nation, but I hadn't left to learn something. I had only left, because I had been annoyed with Uncle's judging eyes, his hope making speeches and his hand on my shoulder all this time! He had adapted to our situation so easily, but I… I just couldn't. Every part of me seemed to be screaming that this was wrong. It wasn't supposed to be like that. I had to be the heir to the throne, I had to be in the Fire Nation.

But Azula had nearly killed Uncle and he was… he meant… He was important to me, more than she was. So if my father was okay with Uncle dying, then… I just had to accustom to the life of a fugitive. I'd do anything to keep Uncle safe. He deserved it. After being stripped off his birth right, losing his wife and son. Uncle deserved so much more than just peace and calmness. He deserved to lead the life of a war hero. He might be a retired general, but the Dragon of the West, the firstborn of Fire Lord Azulon deserved better than this!

I grew angrier at Azula every second and I knew I should also be angry at father and somehow I was, but I wanted to suppress this anger.

I had never been angry at father and I wouldn't start that now.

I heard the rustling of clothes and looked up, seeing Uncle move.

I quickly stood up and let myself fall next to him. Was he going to wake up?

His forehead wrinkled and he groaned quietly.

I bit my lip and became worried. What was it? Was it just a dream or did he feel any pain?

Dammit, why couldn't I be a water healer?

I kept staring at Uncle for a couple of minutes, until I stood up to get his teapot and camping cooker.

I searched for tea leaves and when I sniffed at them I didn't have any idea of what they were, but I hoped it was ginseng, since that was Uncle's favourite.

He'd probably be delighted at getting some tea the moment he would wake up.


	4. Chapter 4

_I do not own Avatar The Last Airbender, nor its characters. The only characters I own are my OCs._

* * *

**Chapter Four **

**Moving On**

_**Kilara**_

My mind was racing with thoughts, images and voices.

I had seen and learned a lot on this journey and somehow I needed to process all of this. I had to make something out of it.

The thought of just going back home and continuing my life as it had been made me sick. I refused to let the things I have heard or seen not affect my life.

My will was stronger than ever and I knew that I would run away, if Uncle wouldn't let me study.

I had just saved the Fire Lord's brother's life. I had helped the Fire Lord's son and I knew that they weren't evil. The world could be so much better, if they somehow gained the power and reign of their country.

Perhaps I had just done something essential, something important for the world's fate.

But that wasn't enough to me.

Now that I had seen that I could do something, I didn't want to stop. Somehow I needed to find a way to be close to the ones on top. I needed a way to help the world. This way was for me to study politics, economics and history.

I smiled to myself, as I thought about the things I would learn, that what I was going to learn was going to help other people.

But a frown covered my face soon after. I would need to go to Ba Sing Se and my family wouldn't want me to go. I just had run away, so if I told them what I wanted and they refused they could expect me to run away again, but this time they could prevent it!

Then maybe I had to be careful when I would tell them. I would not argue and I wouldn't show them that my heart was in this. Then maybe they would believe that I would do as they wished.

A wicked grin appeared on my face and I felt somehow smug and prepared. Yes, I would prepare, for there was nothing in this world that I wanted more than to study and use that knowledge to help people.

My way back home was, except for an encounter with a sabre-tooth moose lion which attacked Onyx and me, but which I managed to wash down a river, highly unexciting. I didn't meet any more travellers or had any encounters with soldiers.

Without any food or places where I could buy some, I had to be a bit creative about getting food. I managed to use my bending for catching fishes, but since it was spring there weren't any fruits, nor nuts for me to find. So roasted fish was the only thing which I had and ate. Soon I was completely fed up with roasted fish and I couldn't stand it anymore. But it still was better than to starve.

On the third day I recognised the plain in which the village with those hostile people had been. My stomach jumped in joy to finally get something else to eat than fish, but I was wary of those people. I couldn't go there again, for I had told them I was a refugee. I had to have a very good explanation, why I had returned. Something they would believe.

Maybe I could just tell them that I had seen the Fire Nation princess on my way to Ba Sing Se and I had got scared that they could try to attack the city again, so I had returned, but I still didn't know where to go.

Would anyone believe me that? If I put up a good act in which my fear was convincible, then maybe they would.

Oh, I just had to get some real food!

And Onyx, too. Well, he still had his feed, but I wanted him to have an apple or a carrot.

Sighing, I made my way to the village and pressed my knees to Onyx's sides to make him run faster.

I already put on a scared expression and raced into the village.

A few people jumped out of my way or scream fearfully or angrily at me.

I made Onyx stop, jumped down his back and pressed my hands to my knees, panting and shivering.

A crowd gathered around me and I readied myself for my act.

"What are you doing here?" I heard a voice ask that was strangely familiar.

I looked up and saw the older boy from last time, who had almost attacked me. Oh, not him again! "I…" I licked my lips to gain some time.

He stepped closer to me and his face showed a mixture of fear and urgency. "You should be far away from here, where you are safe! Why did you return?"

I was completely caught off guard by his worried voice and cleared my throat. Again I tried to look afraid. "The Fire…" I swallowed. "The Fire Nation. I… I saw Princess Azula! They moved towards Ba Sing Se and I…" I wrapped my arms around myself and pressed for tears. "I think they want to attack the city! It's not safe there!"

People started to murmur fearfully, some even screamed in anger.

"Those bastards! Why can't they just leave us alone?"

"They have to take everything!"

"Those monsters! Someone has to stop them!"

The boy in front of me took one more step towards me and I noticed that he had an artificial leg. I frowned at him, for I didn't understand why he wasn't acting hostile towards me.

He swallowed. "You, erm… If you don't know where to go, I'm sure you can stay here."

I raised my eyebrows sceptically. What the hell was going on with him?

"Oh, suddenly I'm allowed to stay?" I couldn't stop myself from saying this and I stemmed my hands on my hips, looking challengingly at him.

The old lady from last time walked to stand next to him. "Things have changed and there is something that you need to see."

The boy turned to her with wide eyes and a shocked face. "Grandma, no!"

"Shush! It is not on us to decide. After all, only she knows the truth."

I folded my arms. "What is going on?"

Suddenly I got several looks of compassion and pity and I felt highly bewildered.

"If you would follow me, dear," the old lady said and turned to walk away. The crowd parted for her.

I looked around me and swallowed. Well…

The older boy made a hand gesture which meant to follow his grandmother.

Sighing I turned to Onyx, grabbed his reins and walked after the old lady. When I left the crowd I turned to look at them and noticed that the boy was following me.

I tensed almost immediately and grabbed subconsciously for my water flask. Feeling its surface calmed and reassured me a bit. I was one damn good bender, Nanuk had said. If someone was going to attack me I would be able to defend myself.

The old lady led me to the edge of the village where a short road led to a small building made of wood.

"In here," she said, after she had stopped in front of the door, "is someone you have to see to help us decide what is to happen to him."

My eyes widened in surprise and fear and I understood. This small building was a prison.

But who would be in there? For a brief moment I feared it might be Prince Zuko, but that couldn't be. He couldn't have been faster than me with his uncle and it wouldn't make any sense for him to come back here.

I was even thinking about Jet, Smellerbee or Longshot, but they were heading towards Ba Sing Se.

I swallowed and tried to brace myself for who I was going to see. I nodded towards the old woman.

She then looked at her grandson who opened the door with a key. I put down my hat and held it on my side. It was completely dark inside and I only could make out a small hallway with a chair and table, next to it four prison cells with only a bucket inside of them.

It reeked.

The old lady pointed to the closest cell and I walked there cautiously, noticing a human body curled up on the floor.

I frowned and moved closer, until I bend down right in front of the bars.

The person behind them was wearing fine clothes, multiple layers and I noticed the fabric to be of a good quality.

I looked back at the boy and his grandma who evenly stared back, before I turned around, swallowing. "Erm… You, wake up!"

He didn't move. I pulled out my dagger and banged it against the bars, which made him sit up with a yelp.

My eyes widened. "Nanuk!"

He still looked sleepy, but he scrambled to his feet, or at least tried to, since his legs were bound together, as were his arms behind his back. He managed to get up and jumped towards me. "Kira!" My brother pressed against the bars and I knew that if he weren't constrained he'd hug me, but I was grabbed by the older boy from behind and pulled back.

"Don't you come near her!"

Nanuk's face was soon covered by a scowl and he almost seemed to growl like a polar bear dog.

I pulled my arm free and turned to the boy. He held his arms at his sides, his fists clenched.

"What do you think you're doing? Why is my brother imprisoned in here?" I snapped at him and his grandmother.

"They think you left home, because we mistreated you," Nanuk said darkly.

"What?" I stemmed my hands on my hips and shot them a glare.

"We know you're not a refugee. We found identity papers with your brother, with which we could figure out that you are Kilara Huang." The older boy folded his arms in front of his chest. "What reason would you have to leave home, if not for them mistreating and hurting you?"

My eyes widened all the more and I looked back at my brother, who had never looked so angry before.

"I was not mistreated! My family would never do such horrible things!" I cried out in anger.

Grandmother and grandson looked at each other.

The old lady laid a hand on my arm. "Be honest, dear. You're brother cannot escape and you could stay in our village where we would all protect you. There's nothing you have to fear if you tell us the truth." She smiled encouragingly at me.

I took a deep breath to calm down, but when I talked again, my voice was hard like steel. "I really appreciate your concern, but I have never ever been mistreated or hurt by my family. Not by my brother, father, uncle, mother or aunt. I am totally safe with them and I love them more than anything. So if you won't release my brother, I'm going to free him with force."

As they still hesitated, I quickly bend the water out of my flask and froze the lock to his cell. I dodged the boy's arm who wanted to grab me and kicked powerfully at the lock, which crashed the lock and opened the door. With two precise water whips I cut through the ropes binding Nanuk. Once he was free I didn't waste one second and flung myself at Nanuk. I wrapped my arms around him and held on tight. He responded to my embrace and buried his face between my shoulder and neck.

When I drew back I clasped his cheeks and raised my eyebrows. "Are you hurt? Do you have any bruises?"

Nanuk shook his head. "No. Well, he knocked me out, but that doesn't even hurt…"

I turned to the older boy. "You knocked him out?!" I roared and resisted the urge to whip him with water until he would beg for mercy.

His eyes widened and Nanuk closed his fingers around my upper arm to hold me by his side.

"I only wanted to help you!"

I narrowed my eyes. "Because of your awful behaviour last time you thought that throwing my brother in a cell because of mere assumptions was making me appreciate your help?!"

At that he opened his mouth, but when nothing came out he turned around and left the prison as fast as he could.

I frowned at his behaviour, but decided not to think about it. Instead I turned to look at Nanuk again. "What are you even doing here?"

He narrowed his eyes, let my arm go and folded his arms. "What I am doing here? It's me who should be asking you that question! I was following you! But why on earth did you have to leave?"

I stared at him for a few seconds and wondered if I should tell him. I had never kept any secrets from Nanuk. "I… I'm afraid I can't tell you."

"What?" He grasped my shoulders. "Are you serious? Do you have any idea how worried we were? Uncle alarmed the sheriff, there are posters everywhere with your face, Aunt can't stop crying since you left and you don't care about telling me why you had to inflict such pain on us?" His nostrils flared, but I sensed that he was sad and frightened under his anger.

I felt tears behind my eyes and I swallowed, looking on the floor. I tried to suppress my tears, for I didn't like to show any emotions which made me look like a weak little girl, but the thought that I had hurt my family so much made it impossible.

The tears were running down my face and I sniffed slightly for I didn't want Nanuk to notice. "I didn't mean to hurt you. And I was already on my way back. I… I…" How could I possibly make this up to him? I knew perfectly well how he felt. We had always been together since the day we were born. Nanuk was my best friend and I loved him more than anyone else. If he left me alone without any explanation… it would tear me apart.

I couldn't stand the fact that I had hurt him so much, so I wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my face in his chest, while the tears were still falling.

"I'm so, so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I'm sorry, Nanuk. I won't do it ever again, I promise!" I rubbed my nose at his chest, inhaling his familiar scent, even if he reeked like a prison toilet. I continued to say words of apology and regret, but Nanuk shoved me back and laid his hands on my cheeks to wipe my tears away.

"Stop! You know I always have to cry too if you do," he said with a hoarse voice and I could see tears glistening in his eyes.

I smiled a bit and felt his arms around me again.

"I'm just glad that you are fine and safe. I could never forgive myself if I let anything happen to you," my brother murmured into my hair.

"You know I can handle myself," I replied quietly.

"I know. But I can't stop worrying."

I smiled again and was happy to be reunited with my other half.

Many sisters and brothers were close to each other, but since Nanuk and I were twins our bond was even stronger. I almost knew all the time how he felt, I could predict his thoughts or what he was going to say and I loved to cuddle with him. He only allowed it when he wasn't in an 'I'm too cool to cuddle with my sister'-mood and when we were alone. I knew it would embarrass him if people knew that we still cuddled at the age of fifteen. But I knew he liked it, too.

"Ahem." The sound of a throat being cleared interrupted my soft and cuddly mood and I leaned back to see who had been standing there.

The old lady, obviously. She had never left.

"I see now that you were right," she addressed Nanuk. "Your love for your sister would always prevent you from doing such horrible things. Or let other people do it."

Nanuk tensed again and I knew that he still hated what they had accused him of.

"So why don't you two come outside with me? I think we need to explain ourselves and it would be an honour to have you two as guests for dinner tonight. There will be roasted duck with pumpkin vegetables."

Nanuk and my eyes widened immediately and I felt my stomach growl. Oh yeah, no roasted fish anymore! And it had been ages since I had eaten a pumpkin! Living with Uncle we didn't eat a lot of duck. Mostly we got goose, dear and boar, since my Uncle thought that big animals which weren't domesticated were the healthiest.

I looked questioningly at Nanuk and saw how he fought between his pride and his stomach.

So I decided for him. "We'd love to have dinner with you!"

The old lady inclined her head and smiled at us. "My name is Yin Jing by the way."

I smiled and followed her back outside, where Nanuk blinked heavily into the sunlight. He grinned when he saw Onyx waiting for me and walked towards him. Onyx seemed to be happy to see my brother and enjoyed his affections.

Together we walked back to the main road where a large crowd awaited us. I could hear several gasps when they saw Nanuk.

Yin Jing stopped walking and raised a hand to silence them. "Nanuk Huang has been falsely accused of a severe crime by us. He suffered in prison for almost two days and we are going to make this up to him, since we are honourable people. We know the difference between right and wrong and although our intentions were the best, namely to protect this young girl Kilara Huang, we have still done wrong. Nanuk and Kilara will stay with my family until tomorrow. Until then you will have time to make it up to Nanuk."

Nanuk frowned. "No, you don't have to…"

"Nonsense!" Yin Jing barked and shot him a glare. "We will not stand in your debt forever, young one! We have done wrong and the spirits may destroy our village if we can't make it up to you!"

Nanuk took a step back and I could tell that he was feeling a bit intimidated. "Alright."

While we were making our way to Yin Jing's home the people reached their hands out to Nanuk, exclaiming words of apology and regret. Some even said that they had never considered him guilty and Nanuk was taking that all in with an appreciating smile and he often nodded or said "Thank you!" and I couldn't help but be immensely proud of his demeanour.

Yin Jing ordered her grandson Renshu, who was sulking at the kitchen table, to prepare a bath for Nanuk. Renshu gazed at us and left without saying a word.

Nanuk and I were seated on cushions around the kitchen table, while Yin Jing was making us some tea.

"My dear," she addressed me, "I'm really glad that you are fine. You are an intelligent young woman and it warms my heart to see the love between siblings." She turned around and smiled. "I had a little brother and we were always fighting. But I still cared deeply for him and I was there for him until he died two years ago."

"I'm really sorry for your loss," I replied and hoped that I would be there for Nanuk, too.

"Don't be, dear. He simply fell asleep and never woke up again. He had a wonderful life, that's for sure. I was never someone who would think or expect a brother to hurt his sister. It is just that," she sighed, "my grandson met a girl a few years ago who was just going through this. He couldn't help her then, but he'd become very wary of any strangers, especially men since then. He really only wanted to help."

Suddenly I felt bad for shouting at him. Oh moon, that did explain a lot. But I couldn't help but be curious of this girl. What had happened to her? Had Renshu been in love with her?

Yin Jing set a tray with tea and yeast dumplings in front of us and I stared dreamily at the dumplings. Finally something better to eat!

I still stayed calm and waited for Yin Jing to pour the tea into our cups. As she sat down and took the first sip, Nanuk and I followed. After that we both grabbed a dumpling and ate with gusto. I kept my face clean and totally did not munch, but I enjoyed the dumpling's feeling in my mouth, its flavour on my tongue and that my stomach was getting fuller.

Yin Jing smiled at us. "I didn't know that Aiguo Huang had two children. And after what I've heard it would not be like him to have a concubine."

Nanuk's eyes widened and he coughed when the dumpling wouldn't get down his throat. I took a sip from the tea to wash the food down.

"We are not Aiguo's children. He is our Uncle and our father is his elder brother Longwei," I explained.

"Ah, I see."

"You are right. It would not be like Uncle to take a woman without being married to her. He never had a… erm… girlfriend or anything like that. He's only married to our Aunt now for five years and I can assure you that he has no children, legitimate or illegitimate. But how come that you know so much about him?"

Yin Jing smiled again. "That is a good question. You see, I left this place when I was very young. And very pregnant."

Nanuk coughed again and I fought against a grin, since I knew he hated anything that had to do with women things.

"My daughter's father was a Fire Nation soldier, you know."

Nanuk's jaw dropped and I swallowed. "Did… did he…?" Nanuk couldn't get it out.

Yin Jing's lips curved into a light smile. "No, he didn't. Not every man with Fire Nation blood is a monster, you must know."

Nanuk grinned sheepishly, since we knew that all too well.

And now I even knew that Fire Nation royals were not always monsters.

"Yeah, I know that, but you said he had been a soldier and soldiers, from all countries, are sometimes like dogs."

Yin Jing nodded in understanding. "That is true. But Hiroki was not like them. We were deeply in love and it truly was love at first sight. But the Earth King had sent soldiers to drive the Fire Nation off and they succeeded. So when I found out that I was pregnant I made my way to the colonies. I wanted to search there or to, at least, find out where Hiroki could be. Despite my state I found a nice family who was willing to give me work. I became a nurse after I had my baby and later even a nanny. I looked after two boys: Longwei and Aiguo."

Nanuk and I sat up straight immediately. "What? You were father's nurse?"

Yin Jing smiled. "It appears so, yes. I only never heard that he had started a family. I always thought he would become a professor for archaeology," she said, chuckling.

"Our mother was from the Northern Water Tribe," Nanuk explained, while I drank some tea.

"Oh, dears, I am so sorry. No child should lose their mother so soon. Especially before you can blossom into a young lady or become a young man."

"Thank you," Nanuk said softly.

But wait a minute. There was something that didn't fit into my head.

"Yin Jing. I hope you don't mind me asking, but if you were in love with a Fire Nation man and lived in a colony, you surely know that not all of them are bad. So why did you behave so hostile toward Prince Zuko, when he was here?"

"What?" Nanuk gasped, his eyes nearly popping out, while he looked at me and Yin Jing.. "Prince Zuko? The traitor who killed one of his own countrymen?"

I felt my whole body tense and suddenly I was angry that I hadn't asked him if he had really killed this admiral.

"He was here?" Nanuk turned to me, laid his hands on my shoulders and shook me. "While you were here?"

"No." I shook his hands of. "Yin Jing only told me about it, when I arrived here the first time, two days after the prince."

Yin Jing frowned and stared at her hands. "That is indeed a good question, dear. And my reasons for that are simply that not all Fire Nation people might be evil, but the royals certainly are. It was them who brought all this destruction and war to the world. Without Fire Lord Sozin and his descendants this war would have never happened."

That was not true. I didn't know General Iroh personally, but I was very sure that he was not that evil, if he enjoyed music, proverbs and shopping so much, and Prince Zuko wasn't evil at all. "But you told me that the prince wanted to defend a child from the village," I objected.

Yin Jing narrowed her eyes at me. "From the first time I saw you I knew that you highly disapproved of our actions. But we had our reasons. And that is that."

"No, no, no, no, no. Okay, pause. Would now someone be kind enough to tell me what the prince of the Fire Nation had been doing here, after soldiers had searched our house and…" Nanuk stopped, staring at me and his mouth wide open.

Oh no, he couldn't have figured it out!

"You left right after they left. You…"

Yes, I had followed him.

"Were you trying to find Prince Zuko?" Nanuk asked, his voice quiet and controlled.

I licked my lips. "I…"

Nanuk shook his head. "Kira, you know that wouldn't have made a difference. They were not in our house, nor on the grounds. Uncle was safe and the princess didn't have one reason to hurt him. You didn't need to go off by yourself trying to capture them!"

"That is not why I left," I hissed angrily.

"Then tell me!"

"Uh… th-the bath is ready," a voice from the hallway interrupted and we all turned to look at Renshu.

"That is great!" Yin Jing stood up and walked to the door. "Now, Nanuk, come. You wouldn't want your warm water to get cold, would you?"

Nanuk still glared at me and pouted a bit at the same time. "This is not over yet," he growled, but left the room.

I sighed and leaned back on my elbows, when I noticed Renshu looking at me. "What?"

He stiffened and turned to the kitchen. "Nothing." He got himself a cup and poured the tea from the table into it, before he sat down on my right.

"Em… I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier. I understand now that you only tried to help."

Renshu nodded. "Thanks. And I guess I should apologise for my behaviour the other day. I shouldn't have seen you as a suspicious stranger, but as a normal girl."

I raised my eyebrows. "That's true. But you were right with not trusting me, since I am not a refugee."

He chuckled softly with a deep voice and I felt a shiver running down my spine. My body began to tingle, but I didn't know what it meant, so I chose to ignore it. Well, I tried to, but it really wasn't easy. I had never felt anything like this and I didn't know what to do about it.

My cheeks started to burn without any reason, while I was staring into Renshu's emerald eyes which were so green like a conifer forest in spring.

I quickly averted my gaze and tried to fight the heat in my cheeks.

"Are you okay with staying here?" he suddenly asked.

"Yes. Totally. I'm really looking forward to dinner, since I didn't eat anything but fish during the last two days."

Renshu smiled and chuckled again.

I was shivering.

Dammit, what was that?

"So, I suppose you are not going to say why you left your home?" he asked with raised eyebrows.

"No, I'm not," I answered decisively and folded my arms.

Renshu nodded. "Well, I'm glad you have no reason to flee your family."

"Mhm." I swallowed and wondered if it would be okay to ask him a few questions. "What about your family? Where are they?"

Renshu stiffened and looked down at his hands. "Um, my mother died when I was born and my father died in the Siege of Ba Sing Se. Since then, I have been with my grandparents and granduncle."

"Oh. I'm really sorry," I said softly.

Renshu shrugged. "It's okay. I never knew my mother and my father wasn't the best… uh… role model."

I raised my eyebrows, as I saw Renshu blushing.

"I probably have a dozen or so half siblings."

"Oh." This topic was awkward. Really awkward. "How did you lose your leg?" I then changed it with the first thing that came into my mind, but this was probably a bad question, too.

His face darkened, but he still answered me. "I was recruited for the army when I was sixteen. And almost two years later while I was trying to save my unit I got hit with fire. My leg was burnt so much that I couldn't use it, so it got amputated." He shrugged and looked at me. "Uh… I was released honourably from the army then," he quickly added.

"Wow," I said. "Were you… you know, at the front? Fighting against the Fire Nation?"

He nodded slowly. "Yeah. I got a lucky star then. Most of my comrades died in the explosions and…"

His face was contorted with pain and I knew that I had to change the subject again.

"Do you like living here?"

"Uh… It is okay. Better than with my dad. We were living in Ba Sing Se's lower ring then. If you don't know how to fight, you get robbed or killed or raped when you're in the streets at night there."

I covered my mouth with my hand to suppress a gasp.

Renshu shrugged. "My dad showed me how to fight and I never went outside after sunset, but still… it's way calmer here. The people all know each other in this town. Before those so called Earth Kingdom soldiers were here, everyone also trusted each other. But after they arrived and beat up the first people everyone was just minding their own business, thinking 'Better them than me'."

"Do you think it will change now again?"

"I hope so. The Fire Nation prince's appearance was a shock to everyone and I think it will be easier to stand together again." He drank the last bit of his tea and gazed at me.

"Hm." Maybe that was something good, after all.

We kept staring at each other, for no one seemed to know of anything to say and these shivers began anew. But I couldn't stop it, even if I did want to, my skin became super sensitive, I got goose bumps everywhere the air touched me, my heart beat faster and my body became warmer.

Renshu's dark green eyes were so warm and very different from all those light green eyes I had seen before. His face seemed to be completely neutral, emptied of all emotions, but his eyes seemed to burn. Some strands of his hair were covering his forehead, but most of his hair was pulled up in a knot and held in place by a broad green hairband which nearly covered the whole knot.

I noticed that he was swallowing and then I heard footsteps approach.

Yin Jing walked into the room, a basket with herbs and vegetables in her arm. "So now, I 've got everything I need for dinner. Renshu, come help me with the vegetables."

Renshu stood up almost immediately and I couldn't fight the slight feeling of disappointment when he walked away.

Yin Jing came back to me to show me a room, in which she had put large cushions, several blankets and a large bowl full of water. "Why don't you rest a bit, dear? You must be really exhausted. I'll call you when dinner is ready."

I smiled at her, thankful to be given that opportunity.

After she left I took off my jacket, pants and tunic, so that I was only in my undertunic and undergarments when I lied down to take a nap. My eyelids shut and I fell almost immediately asleep.

Dinner was great. The roasted duck tasted extraordinarily good and Yin Jing knew a lot of stories to tell. Nanuk and I even talked a bit about ourselves, what we liked to do, what we wanted to do once we'd be adults.

"That is if your future husband allows you to study," Nanuk interposed and I shot glare daggers at him. "What?" He raised his hands. "I'm just saying. You won't be able to do everything you want to, once you're married."

Yin Jing frowned. "But why marry? You're only fifteen!"

"I can marry when I'll turn sixteen and our uncle is already looking for some potential future husbands, since our father is off studying," I explained.

"Tut-tut. I'll tell you that you should not marry, when you are not ready. Especially no one who you don't love with all your heart or who you don't know well. Men sometimes seem nice and charming in the beginning, but after the marriage they can show their true face or simply change." Yin Jing's expression became very worried. "Please don't make our previous fears come true."

I smiled thankfully at her. "I won't. I promise. And if my future husband should ever behave to me like that I know perfectly well how to defend myself," I stated confidently, but I didn't miss Yin Jing's sad smile which told me that there were lots of things I didn't have any knowledge of.

After dinner I went outside to do some waterbending practice, since Yin Jing's worried face didn't leave my mind.

I was not helpless. I was a damn good waterbender and I knew how to wield a dagger.

I took a few deep breaths, before I began to move through my forms. I didn't have a lot of water with me, so my practice was limited to a small amount of water. But I managed to let it go further away from me than I ever had. And I still controlled it. I was really satisfied and led my water back into my water flask. There was not a lot of space behind the house, but enough to let me train close combat forms.

After a while I noticed the water in a body right behind me and stopped, turning around to see who had been watching me.

Renshu leaned on a wall with his arms folded and raised his eyebrows when I stemmed my hands on my hips.

"Why did you stop?" he asked with his deep velvety voice, which sent a shiver down my spine.

"Why were you watching?" I shot back.

"I asked first."

I rolled my eyes. "I stopped because I noticed you watching."

"Is there something wrong with me watching?"

"No. I just want to know why you were watching," I stated and raised my chin a bit. I would certainly not show any weakness or fear in front of this… boy, who was older and who had muscular arms and broad shoulders and an angular face and slight beard stubbles. Oh moon, I needed to get a grip.

Renshu inclined his head. "I've never seen waterbending before, so I got curious. Your bending style is so fluent, so different from earth- and firebending. It looks beautiful."

I blinked at him and suddenly felt embarrassed. No one had ever said that my bending looked beautiful. Certainly no one who affected me in such a confusing way.

After I stared at him for a few seconds he raised an eyebrow. "So, are you going to continue?"

"I, uh… actually I wanted to practise close combat fighting now."

"You can do that?" I could hear in his voice that he was impressed which pleased me a lot.

"Yep. My parents always wanted my brother and me to be able to defend ourselves in every situation and every environment. But my mother trained us the most. My father is more a person of books and scrolls," I explained and shrugged.

Renshu's lips curved into a grin. "I can fight against you. It's easier to practise with a partner. That is, if you want to."

My cheeks flushed almost immediately and I nodded.

As he walked towards me, I noticed again his artificial leg, because he was limping a bit.

I frowned. "Are you sure, you can do this? You shouldn't stress your leg too much."

His grin widened and a gleam entered his eyes. "It's all healed and I trained enough to be able to fight now. After all, I knocked you brother out, didn't I?"

I pretended to be unimpressed. "I wasn't there, so you could tell me anything and I would have no other choice but to belie… aaaaahhhh!" I quickly dodged and dove under his arm, as his fist tried to collide with my face.

"What the…? I wasn't ready yet!" I exclaimed and glared at him, but had to block his arm and leg, as he again darted at me.

"The enemy will never wait, until you're ready!" Renshu explained and quickened the pace of his movements.

Wow, he really could fight.

I really did everything that came into my mind, tried to use my smaller frame as an advantage and moved quickly around him. I tried to tire him, while I only dodged his attacks, but his older, taller and more muscular body was certainly an advantage for him. He was far stronger than me and his attacks were slowly getting to me.

Of course I tried to attack him back, but he knew how to prevent an opening in his attacks.

When I wanted to dodge him again he obviously anticipated my movement, because he caught my wrist and spun me around, so that suddenly my back was at his chest. My other wrist was caught and although my arms hurt, because they were slightly twisted my whole body tingled at his proximity.

"See, I told you I could fight," he murmured and I felt his hot breath in my hair.

I swallowed. "I believe you."

Renshu chuckled deeply and my knees started to wobble. He slowly let go of my wrists, but I was still panting hard from the fight and I stayed where I was. Seconds after he had released me I could still feel his body heat in my back. Just to try it out I slowly leaned my back against him and relaxed a bit.

Suddenly I felt his hands on my hips and he turned me around, so that I was facing him.

Oh moon, these were too many feelings, too many emotions running amok in my body. His face was close as he was looking down at me and our upper bodies nearly touched.

Nearly?

I leaned in, so that my breasts touched his chest, which caused him to gasp softly.

I didn't really understand what was going on, since I had no experience with that, but I knew that it pleased me that my presence affected him as much as his did mine. I knew that what I was feeling would lead to kissing and touching and to all the other things men and women did. I knew that my body was impatient to learn about that, to be touched and to feel more shivers, but what did Renshu feel? Why was he acting towards me like that? Did he feel the same way I did?

He swallowed and licked his lips which were gleaming wetly. I stared at them and couldn't help but wanting to feel them on my lips.

"Kira! Kira, it is time for bed! Where are you?" Nanuk shouted without being too loud.

I quickly stepped back and tried to catch my breath. Renshu blinked a few times and clenched and unclenched his hands.

That was already when Nanuk stepped outside. "Oh, there you are!" He immediately noticed Renshu and narrowed his eyes at him. "What were you two doing out here?"

"Sparring," I answered. "Close combat."

Nanuk raised his eyebrows. "With an artificial leg?"

Instead of answering Renshu ran towards Nanuk who was caught off guard, hooked a foot behind Nanuk's leg, pressed his hand to my brother's forehead and shoved him to the ground.

"Uff! Get off me!" Nanuk exclaimed, sounding really pissed.

I smiled apologetically at him, as Renshu let him go.

"I was not prepared, so that wasn't fair!" my brother exclaimed.

I walked closer to them and laid a hand on his shoulder. "The enemy will not treat you fair either."

Renshu grinned at me and I blushed, because my body seemed to like his grin.

"Well, what did you say, Nanuk? Bed time? Right!" I pointed a finger in the direction of the door and walked in.

The two boys followed me and I stopped at my room for the night. "Good night."  
"Ah, so you're going to sleep in there?" Nanuk asked.

I nodded. "Yin Jing showed this room to me. Where are you going to sleep?"

"Down the hallway," he said, nodding in that direction.

I gave him a hug and bowed to Renshu who bowed back, before I closed the door.

I removed my clothes again and settled for the night.

But sleep wouldn't come. I was too distracted by everything. Of course there was still this "Prince-Zuko-not-all-firebenders-are-evil-I-have-to-study-to-help-people"-thing, but my mind wanted to know how it would have been if I had kissed Renshu.

That would have been my first kiss!

From someone I barely knew, who had behaved like a douche first and who had imprisoned my brother.

Yeah.

Maybe I should reconsider this.

When every other noise in the house and the village had died down, I noticed a male body walking outside and stopping at my window.

I leapt up, grabbed my water flask, settled into a fighting stance, let the water hover around me and waited for the man to come in. He would get a very wet welcome from me.

When he climbed in, the first thing I saw was an artificial leg.

My heart beat faster, but this time not because of preparation to fight. I bended the water back, closed the lid over the flask and let it drop to the floor, when Renshu closed the window behind him.

I wrapped my arms around my middle. "What are you doing here?" I asked coldly.

He turned around to look at me. "Oh, you're awake."

"Did you hope to find me asleep so I couldn't defend myself?" I hissed at him.

"What? No! I didn't… I would not ever do that!" His face contorted in anger.

"Then what do you want here?"

He sighed and looked over his shoulder, before looking at me. "I… I was hoping you weren't asleep, because there's something I wanted to ask you."

"What is it?" I really tried hard not to let my excitement show.

Renshu came closer, moving cautiously and looking like a predator, despite his artificial leg. I licked my lips.

He stopped in front of me and looked me in the eyes. "Because of earlier… I only wanted to know… Well, you're leaving in a few hours and I know that I would always regret it if I didn't do it."

I frowned. "What are you talking about?"

He clasped my cheeks and I felt my body tense up. "Can I… Can I kiss you?"

His presence was overwhelming. His body was so warm and his face with his lips was right there in front of me. Oh yes, I wanted him to kiss me.

"Yes," I whispered, nodding.

Renshu's lips were rough, but warm as he softly pressed them to mine.

I felt my knees wobble again and warm lightning bolts strike through my veins. He closed his eyes and I did, too, wondering if that would change anything about the kiss. It didn't really, but it was still nice, because all my senses were now only focused on his mouth.

Our lips moved against each other and I lifted my arms to lay my hands on his chest.

Renshu's arms wrapped around my hips and pulled me close to his body, which made me gasp softly. His tongue touched my lips, demanding and gentle at the same time. Shivering slightly I slowly opened my lips to his tongue and felt like being set on fire, as his tongue touched mine.

I felt his vocal cords vibrating and noticed him moaning slightly. He bent his head to kiss me more deeply and I let my hands wander to his neck to hold his head in place as I pressed my body to his.

Moon, that was so much. It was almost too much and it was slightly frightening that my body was even able to feel that much, that I could feel so many different things which excited and frightened me at the same time.

Although I was very curious about all this and my body wanted to feel him closer I drew back to refill my lungs with air and to stop it here.

Renshu pressed his forehead against mine, breathing heavily. I swallowed and moved my hands to his chest again, where I tried to bring some distance between us.

He frowned. "Is everything okay? Did I do something that you didn't like?"

I blushed slightly. "No, everything's alright. Your kiss was… uh… well, I liked it very much."

His lips curved into a gentle smile and I felt my knees wobbling again, but fortunately he still had his hands on my hips.

Huh, the last person (except for Nanuk) who had been that close to me had been Zuko. _Prince_ Zuko. The _prince_. Not just Zuko and definitely not Lee.

I frowned in confusion, wondering why I was thinking of him now.

Slowly I took a step back. "Uh… thanks. But… I really should get some sleep now," I murmured a bit awkwardly, while I pulled nervously at some strands of my hair.

Renshu's eyes seemed to clear a bit and he nodded. "Right. Uh… see you at breakfast."

"Yes," I whispered and tried to smile reassuringly, since I didn't want him to think that he had done anything wrong.

"Good night, Kilara," he said in this deep, velvety tone that sent a shiver down my back. He took one step towards me again and kissed me on my cheek.

Then he turned and left the room through the window again.

I lifted a hand and touched my lips which had just been kissed for the first time.

I felt my cheeks heating up and wondered if any other kiss in the future would be as good as this one. Sadness settled into my heart when I remembered that I would not have the opportunity to really get to meet Renshu and I sighed before I made my way to the improvised bed.

_**Zuko**_

I felt like shit.

Soaking wet, hurting, desperate, angry, sad and freezing shit.

Somehow I had stayed all night on this stupid mountain. Even though it had rained, the wind had been strong and there had been several lightning bolts. Not one coming at me, of course. That was just my kind of luck. Things I wanted to happen never happened. To me it was almost a physical law.

I tried not to think about anything as I descended the mountain slowly. The wind was harsh, but it was not raining anymore. The thunderstorm had passed, but not the one inside of me. I clenched my jaw, as the pain in me wanted to resurface. Pushing it back down as far as I could I reached the place where I had left the ostrich horse and was delighted to see that it was still there.

The animal approached me cautiously and when it recognised me it pressed its beak against my cheek.

My eyes widened slightly in surprise, since it had never showed me any affection or proof that it cared for me. Not that I couldn't understand it, after all I had stolen it from a nice family. But I had always taken care of it.

Cautiously I raised my hand to touch its beak which it did allow. It even seemed as if it was nuzzling me.

Maybe I should give it a name. Frowning I bent down to look under the ostrich horse to see whether it was a boy or a girl. I'd never bothered before to know it. I couldn't see anything, so I thought it was a girl.

She liked apples most, so maybe I could call her Apple? Or Hazel, since it was the colour of her eyes?

"So, are you more an Apple or a Hazel?" I asked softly and stroked her neck. Her feathers weren't the least bit soft, which probably was the result of weeks of traveling without a bath.

But she only closed her eyes and leaned into my touch, which surprised me even more. "Or maybe I should call you Cuddly, since you obviously are the cuddly type," I murmured.

The ostrich horse let out a soft neigh and I smiled. "So, it's settled then, Cuddly."

I continued to stroke her for a few minutes which perfectly well got my mind blank. I just didn't want to think too much about my life now.

But I had to go back to Uncle.

Sighing, I mounted Cuddly and we rode back to the decayed hut where I had left Uncle.

He was sitting outside, drinking tea. Of course he was.

I felt my stomach clench a bit from nervousness. Would he be angry with me, because I had left him again?

When I was near enough to get down from Cuddly, he lifted his head and smiled at me. "Ah, nephew. It is good to see you are well."

I wouldn't call it that, but I nodded and walked towards him to sit in front of him.

"Would you like some tea? It's jasmine, a very calming infusion," he offered me with this spark in his eyes he always got when he was talking about tea.

"Uh… yes, thank you," I muttered and watched him pouring tea into another cup.

I noticed that he was doing everything with his right arm. He didn't even lift his left one to hold the cup while pouring the tea.

I took the cup from him and held it in my hands, staring at my lap.

There was nothing I could say and nothing I could do to end this stupid situation and that was frustrating me so much, I thought I might go crazy with anger.

Knowing Uncle, it was pretty obvious he was dying to ask me if I got hit by a lightning bolt and if I managed to redirect it. But since I was not burnt or anything, I thought he got his answer.

"There was no lightning," I said quickly and quietly, hoping that we could end this topic and move on. I glanced up at Uncle, who was stroking his beard, nodding and humming a bit.

Oh, that was his old-man-got-to-think-gesture.

"I believe we might try another of the advanced moves," he said.

I narrowed my eyes at his left arm which looked as if it were limp. "You're not doing anything," I growled.

Uncle's eyes got wide. "I beg your pardon?"

"I already told you yesterday to be careful with your arm, but I believed you when you said that there would be no problem with it, since it didn't hurt at all. But now it does, so I was right and you were wrong! You've got to rest and not move it too much," I explained snapping and clenched my hand around the cup with the calming tea.

Uncle's eyes were still wide and he lifted an eyebrow at me.

I knew I hadn't been very respectful, but I was still right. I shouldn't have allowed him to train yesterday! Kilara had been right, but I had trusted Uncle's judgment more than that of a water healer.

"Very well. I agree with you, nephew," Uncle finally said resignedly. "That was not a wise decision, but I believed that the training was immensely important for you."

"Well, it is, but it's not worth you being in pain," I shot back and was taken aback by Uncle's chuckle.

"Oh Nephew, be careful. One could think you actually cared for this old man here," he said with a wide grin.

I set my tea pot aside and stood up. "You are my uncle, after all. And now please excuse me, I can't afford to waste my time drinking tea or listening to you mocking me. I'm going to pack our things. We've been here long enough and we're going to leave before noon."

While I was walking to the hut I could still hear him chuckle.

* * *

_This chapter might have angered or annoyed some people, because Kira shows interest in a boy who is not Zuko, which is understandable, of course. I would wish for things to be easier and faster, too. That, when two people meet, they would know immediately that they belong together and they could just be together, but this is not how life works._

_I decided to make this fic as realistic as it can be. With this I mean that people don't just meet the love of their lives and everything is great and perfect, but they make mistakes and fall in love with other people before they fall in love with the love of their lives. And even during that relationship people can feel attracted to other people, but that doesn't mean that their feelings for their partner became less. And a couple fights and sometimes they hate each other or don't trust each other, but the important thing is that they don't stop loving each other. I try to write about Zuko and Kira in that way without changing canon._

_So basically, I got just pretty annoyed with the hot Zutara fluff, which is sometimes sooooooooo cliché (not only Zutara, other shippings are, too) and not like real life, which is what I'm aiming at. The Avatar The Last Airbender world might kind of be set in the past, but there already are a lot of modern influences and progress is shown in the series and the comics, so I think it perfectly logical to write a love story in this world as it would be realistic in our time and world and also by modern standards._

_Whew, it was really hard to explain why I had Kira kiss Renshu without spoiling here and I really hope I didn't (too much). And what I wrote about couples is just to underline a point, it doesn't mean that I'm going to do this to Kira and Zuko._

_Furthermore, Zuko will have Jin and Mai, so I thought that Kira should gather some experience, too._

_Last thing, to avoid confusion, but I do think that you all are observant enough to get it: Kira's full name is Kilara, but her family and friends call her Kira and since I invented her, I thought I might have that privilege, too._

_Another reminder: **Please please pleeeeeeeaaaaase leave reviews!**_

_The more detailed and critical the better. About the story, the writing style, the characters, any typos or grammatical mistakes._

_Reviews do not just help me to become a better writer, but then my next chapters could be shaped more to your liking, so all of us will benefit!_

_That's it for today and until next time!_


	5. Chapter 5

_I do not own Avatar The Last Airbender, nor its charcters. The only characters I own are my OCs._

_You might have noticed that I am writing a bit differently about the four nations than other fanfic authors do._

_Since I never heard people from the Fire Nation shout "Agni!" I chose not to use that phrase. Furthermore, Agni is not even proved to be a fire spirit or the fire spirit. In canon it is only a word which means fire to talk about a fire duel. The same thing occurs with the spirits of the Water Tribe. No water person in canon ever uses "Tui" or "La" to say "Oh God", so I won't do that either. Not even Yue had known that these were the names of the spirits, so I don't think that the people there would have known it, least of all people from the Southern Water Tribe. Besides, then only the fire and water people have words to exclaim, but what do Earth Kingdom people and Air Nomads say? I know, Aang tends to say something about monkeys, but there is something that all the four nations have, so I decided to use that. An origin of the bending, something which defines their being and culture. Dragons for the Fire Nation, flying bisons for the Air Temples, the moon for the Water Tribes and badgermoles for the Earth Kingdom. I hope that will be okay with you._

_Last, but not least, they never said "being Water Tribe" in canon. They always use "from" between a form of "to be" and the nation and even if the writing becomes a bit unelegant that way and I think that every nation, no matter in which world, should have an adjective describing it, I'll be going with "from a nation", since everything in this fic should be as close to canon as possible. However, I noticed that the people from LoK use the names of the nations as adjective, but I thought that might have been a linguistic invention during the creation of Republic City, since in a city where people from all nations live, it would be easier to say it that way.  
_

_That's it! Please enjoy reading the next chapter!_

* * *

**Chapter Five **

**About Crushed and Fulfilled Dreams**

_**Zuko**_

I was going to be safe. And more important, Uncle was going to be safe.

Certainly I had never wanted that, but I was not letting Azula near Uncle again, so that she could harm him. And even Azula could not march or sneak into Ba Sing Se. Uncle had not managed to defeat the city, even with our whole army and I was pretty sure that Azula didn't have friends who were waiting for her in sticky taverns to play pai sho, only to give her false traveling papers.

When those two bounty hunters had appeared in the village, I had not been pleased to have to leave Cuddly behind, since I really had come to care about her. But no one except for her knew that. I had even managed to stay aloof, when I had said goodbye. She had become pretty attached to me and had wanted to follow me, when I was climbing into that flower pot, but a young man had held her back.

The pot left me enough space to be almost comfortable, but I was pretty sure that Uncle had his problems, since I could hear him groan and mutter under his breath from his pot.

"Cut it out, Uncle!" I hissed after I had heard him saying for the tenth time that he needed to go on a diet. "Pots don't mutter or groan!"

"They also don't scold," Uncle murmured.

"I'm not scolding you!" I snarled angrily.

"Ey, you two!" the guy leading the carriage shouted. "Ever heard flower pots talking?"

I grumbled a bit and crossed my arms in front of my chest.

Hopefully, this would be over soon.

_**Kilara**_

Coming back home had not been pleasant.

Nanuk was still bothering and annoying me with his questions about why I had left and when I didn't say anything he would pout or get even whiny.

I didn't like having secrets or hiding anything from him, but I had no other choice and he had to respect that.

However, I dropped a hint that he would eventually find out if both of us could go to Ba Sing Se with our father, once he would be back.

That meant I already had Nanuk on my side for going to Ba Sing Se. Dad only needed to return a few months before my birthday. The sooner, the better.

When uncle Aiguo's house appeared in the distance I became super hyper nervous. Hopefully he would react like Nanuk and just be glad that I had returned and that I was okay and safe now again.

Once we arrived a few servants came from the stables, greeting us. Nanuk and I descended from Onyx, my brother giving confidently orders to the servants, while I was ringing my hands hectically.

I didn't even hear what Nanuk said and wanted to retard the meeting with uncle. But once we were in the entrance hall of the house, uncle and aunt were already running towards us.

I tensed all up, even when both engulfed me in their hugs.

"Oh, Kira! Thank goodness Nanuk found you!" aunt exclaimed and pressed my head to her chest.

I tried to relax a bit, feeling uncle's stomach and chest behind me as he wrapped his arms both around me and aunt.

When they let go, they immediately started fussing over me and I was slightly bewildered.

Nanuk only shrugged at my questioning look.

Aunt held my face in her hands and moved it from one side to the other, muttering unintelligible things.

Uncle turned to Nanuk. "You have done well finding her."

My brother waved it off, but I could see that he was feeling proud.

"Now, first things first!" aunt snarled at them. "Kira, are you hurt? Do you have any bruises or wounds I cannot see?"

"No."

Uncle and aunt exchanged a glance, before uncle told us to come to the private living room and dismissing any servants cleaning there.

Aunt pulled me next to her on a sofa, holding my hands, while uncle and Nanuk both sat in chairs facing us.

"You have to be honest with us," uncle spoke softly.

I nodded. I would be, but I would still not tell them everything.

"You weren't hurt in any way?" he pressed.

I shook my head and then frowned. "Well, there was this earthbender who punched me with earth or let me fall to the ground twice. And I fell from Onyx's back when a sabre-tooth moose lion attacked us, but it all went well."

Uncle blinked at me and then he clenched his jaw. "So, you managed to flee with Onyx?"

"Flee?" I asked in confusion.

"What are you talking about?" Nanuk asked, leaning forward on his knees.

"From the Fire Nation camp."

I tensed all up. Oh moon. How could they know? They didn't even know that I had met Prince Zuko first.

Seeing my reaction, uncle curled his hands into fists. "I will make them pay," he growled lowly.

My eyes widened. "No!" I shouted in alarm, jumping up. "Don't! It's not their fault!"

"How can you defend them? They kidnapped you!" aunt screeched.

I turned around in confusion to look at her. "I was not kidnapped."

"So you left with them voluntarily?" aunt gasped in shock, covering her mouth with her hand.

"Uh…" I started. I didn't leave with them. I had followed only him. "What exactly are you talking about?"

"I liked to know that, too. You didn't believe Kira was kidnapped, when I left to find her," Nanuk said, stroking his chin.

"You kind of left immediately, when we noticed Kira was gone, so we couldn't warn you," aunt said.

Uncle sighed. "We figured that Kira was kidnapped by the Fire Nation soldiers. No one seemed to have seen her, after she went into her room after dinner, so we thought that they had come back for her. These violent perverts!"

I blinked at him and was kind of relieved that they hadn't found out the truth, but what was I going to say now? My reaction had shown that it had to do with the Fire Nation that I had been gone and with their explanation I would only be a victim and wouldn't have to be punished. But it would also prove to uncle that I needed a husband and couldn't protect myself.

No, I wouldn't lie to them to protect myself from some punishment.

I swallowed and braced myself. "They didn't kidnap me. I left here alone, only with Onyx."

Uncle and aunt went still for a few seconds.

Nanuk leaned back to the rest and folded his arms behind his head. "Don't even try to get anything out of her. She wouldn't say a word. I ran into her, when she was already on her way back here, so she left for some stupid reason she won't say, but whatever business she had, is finished and now she's going to stay here," he stated casually which was kind of ironic, since he had gone into a rant, too, when he had seen me again.

"Exactly," I said cautiously.

"The Fire Nation does not have anything to do with your disappearance?" uncle asked again.

I bit on my lower lip and rung my hands again. "Well, they had something to do with it. Because these soldiers were here, I knew that there was something I had to do, so I left to do it and came back, when it was done."

"Hey, you didn't tell me that!" Nanuk exclaimed angrily.

"You didn't ask," I said and turned to Uncle, whose face was reddening, until I thought he had eaten one of those fire peppers from the Fire Nation.

"You. Are. One. Irresponsible. Insane. Thankless. Spoiled. Child! I let you stay here in my house, give you my food and how do you thank me that? By leaving? By going on some adventure to teach me a lesson? Oh no, young lady, get out of my sight! You will meet the consequences of your actions once I have calmed down, because I cannot trust myself right now!" he roared enraged.

My eyes widened and although I knew he would be angry, I was not going to be insulted like that! "I am none of these!" I yelled back at him, standing up and glaring at him angrily. All these last months I had tried to accept how he treated me, had tried to adapt to the new circumstances, but enough was enough. Water might be the element of change, but I was not going to change my personality.

Consequences of my actions? I already knew these: meeting new people, wondering about them, even missing them, saving a life, getting my first kiss, having my first crush.

"I understand you are angry that I left without saying anything, but none of that is true! I left, because I had something important to do. And in the end it turned out to be the right thing! I did that, because I was responsible for something, because I have a clear mind and am not blinded by any stupid convictions or prejudices!" I screamed, curling my fists and narrowing my eyes. "I am not spoiled at all! Before father sent us here, we were living a modest and normal life and Nanuk and I did not get everything we wanted and most of all, I am not thankless! There are mounts of people I am thankful to for whatever reason, but you're not one of them! I might have been sleeping under your roof and eating your food, but being out there showed me that I can be just as fine by myself! So I've got nothing to be thankful for to you! No, all you care about is selling me for the most money you could possibly get to some rich pompous ass! You don't care about my happiness, you don't care about my safety! Everything I am for you is something to bargain about!"

My breath was heavy when I was done, but I didn't want uncle to yell at me again or even to slap me, so I turned around and left the room without looking at any of their faces.

"Kira!" Nanuk shouted and raced after me. He was faster than I was, so I couldn't prevent him from slipping into my room before me.

I just stared at him, but honestly, I didn't care now at all. I just shut the door, slumped down on my bed and hugged a pillow to my face, in which I screamed in.

"Feeling better?" my brother asked me dryly.

"Why? Is screaming into a pillow supposed to make you feel better?" I muttered.

"Yeah, it actually is. Let the tension and the anger out, you know."

My mattress shifted and I knew that he had sat down beside me.

"That's ridiculous. You only feel better, if you change something and that can only happen by doing something," I explained to him.

"Sometimes the doing which needs to be done is inside ourselves," Nanuk said and I looked up at him, frowning.

"Did Yin Jing give you a book with wise old people phrases?" I asked sarcastically.

Nanuk rolled his eyes and leaned back on his elbows. He swallowed. "I understand how you're feeling. You feel pressure and pain, because you feel like you're being shaped into something you're not. I could see that while we were out there. You have been much more of your older self out there and much more relaxed, too. But I don't think that uncle does not care about you."

"Out" I hissed at him.

Nanuk only raised an eyebrow. "He was pretty worried when we found out that you disappeared. He really likes you and surely what he does is not what you want, but try to understand him as well. He has lived all his life here, part of the upper class, ever since he bought his first grain field. For all he knows, showing affection to a younger female relative is by marrying them off, as soon as they can, while they're young and good honourable men are still available. He does not understand you, he doesn't understand how we grew up or how we used to live."

I glowered at my twin brother, pretty annoyed by his rationality and maturity. I really wanted to stay angry at uncle, but I also knew that Nanuk was right. At least about the part saying that uncle lived in a totally different world.

"I don't need to hear that from you", I grumbled and turned around to face my window.

I wanted to hear it from uncle. I needed to know that he really cared about me.

I had come to like him in the last few months and it saddened me to know that he held no affectionate feelings for me.

Nanuk sighed and rubbed my back, up and down my spine. When we had been kids we had played animals and I had always wanted to be a deerdog, so that Nanuk would have to stroke me. And rubbing my spine had become since then the best way to make me relax and he knew that. This annoying knows-everything-better jerk.

I didn't get to see uncle for the next three days, which totally was not his fault. I avoided him, because I was afraid about what he might tell me. That everything I had said was true and he really didn't care much about me.

So I sneaked into the kitchen, whenever I became hungry and the cook always gave me a portion from the same food uncle, aunt and Nanuk were eating.

I practiced my bending at night, since I also didn't want uncle to find me out there. Nanuk used to look after me several times a day, but somehow everything had changed after my outburst in the living room. My teachers didn't come for me and nobody wanted me to read books about householding, children or manners.

So I went into the library reading anything else I wanted to. I borrowed several books, so that I could read in my room and didn't have to stay in the library. The first book I chose was about the cultures of the four nations, which was pretty amazing. I hadn't known first that there existed a waterbending tribe in the foggy swamp of the Earth Kingdom. Also had no one ever cared to tell me that the first firebenders had been the so called Sun Warriors, who had learned how to bend from the dragons. I went off searching immediately for a book about dragons, but didn't find any.

As vast as the Earth Kingdom was there were a lot of places I had never seen or heard about. The culture in the east was so different from what I was used to and I wrote everything down which sounded interesting or informative to me.

When I was done with that I wanted to learn everything about Ba Sing Se, which was overwhelmingly fascinating. There was nothing really interesting about the history of Ba Sing Se, since there hadn't changed anything in the last hundred years! Earth King after Earth Kind had ruled, had not changed a thing, but maybe built a new public place.

I felt like I would be crushed by all this knowledge and by everything I still wanted to learn and know. I made a list, because otherwise I could never move on. Following the list wasn't that easy, because one scroll led me to another to understand the former better, which led me to another to know more and another and another…

I shared my studies with Nanuk, whenever he wanted to know about something, I would tell him.

We didn't speak about uncle, but aunt Chunhua came to see me sometimes. She didn't say anything about uncle, too, and I didn't want to ask. I wanted to enjoy that small freedom I had gained and not ponder about whatever it could mean or what could happen in the future.

Almost two weeks after I had returned, I was finally summoned for dinner. I was honestly thinking about not going at all, but that would be childish. And I was not childish. So I decided to wear my finest clothes which did not have any pearls or gemstones on them, and styled my hair to a braided knot. Without any make-up and a stern expression on my face I felt far more adult than I had ever felt in these pompous dresses with the white powder on my face.

I could hear voices from the living room and frowned. They seemed to be pretty happy.

Cautiously I moved closer and actually wanted to eavesdrop a little bit, because I feared to see one more wooer in there, but the servants standing on either sides of the door just opened it for me and I glared at them. I had the feeling they knew perfectly well, what I had wanted to do.

I really did not expect to see what I did see in front of me.

Nanuk, aunt and uncle all looked happy and chatted with a man in his late thirties. He had light skin and a square jaw. His cheekbones were high and his long brown hair was tied back in a ponytail as usual.

Suddenly the hurt feeling about uncle, and everything I had learned was without importance. It became more difficult for me to swallow, since a lump was forming in my throat and tears formed in my eyes as I couldn't stop myself from smiling.

They all noticed when the door opened and I stepped into the room, so my father was instantly on his feet, and in the next second he already pulled me to his chest.

I hugged him as tightly as I could and pressed my face to his chest.

Oh moon, how I had missed him!

His familiar scent of parchment and candles rushed into my nose, and I felt him stroking my back, because he always did that when he was hugging someone. His clothes were made of linen, of course and his heart beat was as steady and strong as I had always perceived it. To me, it had always been the beat of protection and strength. My father might not be a fighter, but he held a different kind of strength to himself.

"Kira", he murmured into my hair. "I've missed you so much."

I smiled and tried to snuggle closer. "I missed you, too."

After a few seconds, my uncle cleared his throat from behind me. "W hy don't we go into the dining room to eat?"

I turned around and frowned at him. My father had just returned, I didn't want to share him with anyone!

"There you can tell us everything about what you have learned, erm… or studied, or explored. You know, whatever you did there, Longwei," uncle said a bit lamely and my frown deepened. He normally never stuttered or didn't know what word to say.

But father only smiled and nodded. He put an arm around my shoulder, nodded for Nanuk who jumped up enthusiastically from the chair and came to father's other side.

The admiration in his eyes for father was so overly obvious that he would have licked his shoes, had he been a deer dog.

I tried not to giggle at my thoughts and was for the first time in nearly two weeks actually happy again.

Dinner was astoundingly calm. No one brought up the subject of my journey/kidnapping/disappearance/irresponsible behaviour which I was truly thankful for, because I didn't know if I could keep it a secret from dad. Of course, my normal confident was Nanuk, but dad had always understood the emphatic and compassionate side of me pretty well. Not as good as mum, but definitely better than Nanuk. My brother only tolerated it, since he knew he couldn't do anything about it. Where Nanuk would fall into a rant about too trusty behaviour, dad would stroke his chin and think for at least five minutes before saying his piece.

He now talked enthusiastically about old ruins he had visited, even one that was only a few months old. He was completely fascinated by the destroyed temple of Avatar Roku on Crescent Island and seemed to know every lava flow from this island.

Yeah, a temple for the Avatar destroyed by the Avatar with lava. Truly fascinating.

But that was just how dad was. He could be fascinated by the smallest animal and tell stories about how this animal had influenced the history of an entire civilisation or that without this hair pin an Earth King would not have been crowned (he really did tell me that once, but I couldn't remember which Earth King it had been).

I wanted to ask dad about the Sun Warriors, if he knew anything about them or about dragons, since they fascinated me, but I was still too afraid to speak out loud, since I feared that uncle might still be angry with me, which he probably was.

All in all I should have been suspicious about these good moods and the fact that uncle was not complaining about me to father, but I apparently couldn't seem to think rational or I just didn't want to destroy this familial atmosphere.

After dessert Nanuk and I were sent into the music room to practise, which we always had to do, when uncle had guests and I was wondering if we weren't torturing the ears of the servants who already went to bed. Especially Nanuk with his pipa. Luckily, the pipa was not that loud and I played the Xiao rather decently, although we both had started playing these instruments a few months ago, when Uncle had decided these traits could be of advantage.

But instead of playing Nanuk and I just sat there, talking excitedly about dad's studies and what could be happening now to us, since he was back. Was he going to take us with him? Surely he had missed us just as much as we had missed him!

When dad, uncle and aunt came back, Nanuk and I immediately pretended to be playing. We played a few simple songs for our father, which he really liked.

He was still smiling when he got up, but suddenly I felt a change in his demeanour.

"Kira, would you like to take a walk in the garden? I would like to talk to you a bit," he said gently and I stilled, everything inside me getting cold and dark.

Oh no. Uncle had told him. Now I would never be able to go to Ba Sing Se and study!

Swallowing I packed my Xiao back in its bag and followed after my father.

We walked together in silence for a few minutes on the path which led to the creek. Then we just stood there and out of habit I was searching for the moon, which was on its way to the full moon again.

"Kira," my father said cautiously. "I heard some disturbing things from your uncle."

I flinched and wrapped my arms around myself, looking in another direction.

"Is it true that you left without saying anything or even leaving a letter behind and your brother had to get you back?" dad asked with a calm and neutral voice. If anything he did sound curious.

"Well, yes, I left without a letter or so, but Nanuk didn't make me come back. I was already on my way back here, when I ran into him coincidentally." I felt dad looking at me, but I didn't turn my head to see the look on his face.

"So you went somewhere and came back?"

"Yes." I kept my chin held high. I had done nothing wrong, what I had done was the right thing. Well, only if the Dragon of the West really was no bad person and if he wouldn't attack Ba Sing Se again. Suddenly I felt my stomach hurt and had the urge to vomit. Prince Zuko would, of course, talk about his uncle in the nicest words. He also thought that his father was not a monster, dammit! But in that situation, as Prince Iroh had been wounded deadly by his own niece, I had only cared for Prince Zuko's feelings and well-being. If the Dragon of the West really was a nice and peaceful man, I could not have known for certain.

Well, and my family still didn't know that I had saved a life and helped and cared about a rude, but lost and confused teenage boy.

Dad sighed and pressed his fingers against his nose, as if I would give him a headache. "I don't suppose that you will tell anyone why you left?"

"Exactly."

"So did you promise to someone to keep it a secret?" dad pressed and I frowned. I almost had forgot how good he was at questioning.

Aaaaand… no, I had never promised the prince not to tell anyone about him. I just figured that I couldn't. I knew no one in my family would understand, they wouldn't even try to understand. My father might be half from the Fire Nation, but his tolerance with their royalty was downright zero. And if I would explain that Prince Zuko was not evil, but only a teenager who had heard stupid lies his whole life and who actually was quite okay and honourable, they'd probably just think that I had some stupid teenager crush on him, just like Toph had thought, because one couldn't do something just because of compassion and sympathy!

But I still told dad the truth. I just couldn't lie to him. "No, I didn't."

There was silence again for a few seconds and I knew that dad was planning his next move word for word to get as much information out of me as possible.

"Kira, I don't understand. Why don't you tell us? Not even Nanuk? Are you afraid of something?"

"I just can't," I said quietly and looked down at my hands.

Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder and was turned around to face dad and look him in the eye. He grasped my other shoulder and squeezed slightly. "Kira, you know you can trust us. We're all always going to be there for you and we won't ever judge or think lowly of you. We're a family and we love you no matter what. But you've got to trust us. We cannot show you our love, if you don't trust us."

Tears glinted in my eyes and I was really, _really_ close to tell him everything. I was asking myself why I hadn't told Nanuk right away what had happened. He was my other half and they all were family. I could trust them. If not them, then who?

I pressed my lips together, while I was trying not to cry. After a long moment of pondering I shook my head.

"I love you, too. More than anything. My family is what's most important to me and I do trust you, really, I do. But that is just something that I cannot talk to you about. It's nothing bad, honestly. Nothing terrible happened and I was fine and safe for the whole journey. I can tell you this: I needed to help a friend and so I did. That was all." I lifted my hands to lay them on dad's and brought them together between his stomach and my chest.

My father still had a worried expression on his face and I was pleading with him in my head that he would let it be. He sighed.

"Is it a good friend? Was it worth that? Worth your uncle's anger and their worries?" father asked quietly and investigatively.

"Yes," I said without hesitating. "I didn't only help my friend, I saved a life and I met really interesting and great people on my way. I learned so much." I barely could contain my enthusiasm and noticed that I really needed to talk about what I had seen and who I had met on my journey. Then I frowned, still not one hundred percent sure of everything. "I guess it was really important for the rest of my life."

Dad raised his eyebrows and looked quite astounded. "Do you really mean that?"

I nodded. "Yes, I do. You wouldn't believe what I have seen and who I have met. Not even you have seen them before, I'm sure of it!" I exclaimed, feeling an odd sense of pride and amazement.

Now I really caught dad's attention. "Who did you meet?"

I grinned slightly and looked away. "Oh, only some people like Toph Beifong. I talked to her and found out that she is teaching the Avatar earthbending. Er, and him I did see, too," I added like an afterthought.

Dad's eyes seemed to nearly pop out of his head. "Really? What's he like? Did you see him bend all four elements? Is he really just a twelve year old boy? And who's Toph Beifong?"

"Only Lao's and Poppy's daughter."

"They have a child?" Dad let go of my hands and ran one of his through his hair. "My, I didn't know that. That is great for them. And she's an earthbender? A good one?"

"Yeah," I said through gritted teeth. She really knew how to send people on their butts and she could make chairs out of earth.

"And what about the Avatar?" dad asked again, kind of sounding like one of those fan girls.

I tried really hard to hide a smile. "I'll tell you inside. I'm sure Nanuk wants to hear that, too."

_**Zuko**_

It was quite ridiculous how my whole life had changed within two months. And now it was not even two weeks ago that Uncle and I had decided to go to Ba Sing Se. Now we were working for four days already in this stupid tea shop.

I hated it. It was small and smelly and the people in there had quiet talks, as if they were trying to pretend to be richer or more educated, only because they were drinking tea in a stupid tea shop. They still were the same people who went into a bar in the evening, got drunk and tried to grab a woman's breast.

Some of them were even soldiers, which made me wary at first, but they were different from the ones in Lee's village. The soldiers here didn't brag or even talk about the war.

I had heard about this stupid war from the first day of my life, but since my first day in this city, no one had ever mentioned it. I actually was glad about that, so I didn't care to ask why people wouldn't talk about it.

Uncle's arm was fine again, much to his astonishment. I simply told him that the wound hadn't been so bad, but I knew he didn't believe me. But he didn't press on it, so I pretended to have said the truth. I didn't know why I didn't tell Uncle anything about Kilara. I was quite sure that he would simply hum, nod and say: "What a remarkable young lady. I hope you'll see her again, so that I can meet her and give her my thanks" or something like that.

I actually caught myself thinking a lot about Kilara and sometimes I even wished she would be here. To her I could talk, I knew she would understand and I didn't even know why. She had damn helped me and saved Uncle's life knowing exactly who we were. I did talk to her from the first time we met and now I missed that. A person's kindness who was not my Uncle, who was my age and who knew who I was, but who also saw beyond that.

When I wasn't working at the tea shop, there wasn't much for me to do. I kept Uncle's and my apartment clean, which wasn't so difficult, since it was tiny. I washed our clothes and did the dishes. Uncle was always the one cooking and when I was in the right mood I helped him. Or at least tried to.

Uncle wasn't asking for my help, but because of his smiles I knew he appreciated it and was pleased with me. That was enough for me to continue cleaning and washing.

But my day was still not filled by that. Early in the morning I meditated and trained. I couldn't really practice firebending, since I hadn't much room and all the walls were made of wood, so I only did muscle, close combat and flexibility training.

After work I looked after our clothes (which weren't many) and cleaned the floor when it was dirty (which it rarely was). At night I put my mask and black clothing on, which I both hid from Uncle, and went out exploring the Lower Ring.

It wasn't that I was curious about the new environment or the people here. I only wanted to be prepared in case of something happening. I wanted to know where to run, where to hide. I needed to know how I could outsmart a persecutor in this new environment.

Furthermore, I loved the exercise. I loved having the feeling of doing something useful and training at the same time. I always smiled under my mask while I was running along the rooftops, exploring courtyards or discovering dead ends.

After Jet had attacked me in the tea shop I had become a bit paranoid.

The people in Ba Sing Se might not want to hear about the war or imprison everyone who even mentioned it, but that didn't mean that the authorities wouldn't become curious if someone claimed to have seen two firebenders. I had seen what these Dai Li agents could did and to best them you either had to be an earthbender or to be faster than them.

So I was going with the latter.

Uncle didn't seem to care about this encounter too much. He always would say that he was sorry for Jet and hoped that he wasn't treated badly by the agents and that they would release him very soon. Oh yeah, and then we could have a nice sword fight again!

Uncle didn't get my sarcasm.

I did what I did for Uncle, but every day it became harder.

It became harder to be nice to the customers in the tea shop. Being neutral and not having a scowl on my face was my way of being nice. At least to strangers.

Keeping a level voice with the customers and our boss became harder day by day. To just walk into the tea shop knowing that what I did had no purpose at all became so hard that I started to hate this place. But hate was a familiar feeling and I knew how to handle it. I had hated nearly every single second on my ship and I still managed to survive for three years on that vessel. What was a tea shop against it?

Well, it was hell. On the ship I still had a purpose, a plan. I'd been so convinced that it would be my destiny to capture the Avatar, but now? Was it my destiny to serve jasmine instead of green tea to Mr. Ling? The big problem was that I just didn't see any purpose! Even if I would come to like this life, which was totally improbable, what more could this life hold for me than marriage and kids? That's what everyone here seemed to do.

Now that I think of it, there actually were quite a few paths I could have chosen. There was a huge criminality and gang problem in the Lower Ring. People were murdered or disappeared all the time. I noticed all that, but I didn't care. I could have joined a gang, trying to use it for my own advantage. I also could have tried to work against it, trying to protect innocent people and become "The Blue Spirit – The Protector of the Lower Ring". I could have taught the children how to fight or I could have become a smith student, making weapons, working with metal and fire. But I was too caught up in my own anger, hatred and sullenness to notice that there were things I could have done. Things people could have needed me for, things which would have given me meaning, importance and a purpose. A tea server would not change anyone's life.

I was full with suppressed negative emotions and crushed dreams. I felt like a bomb, ready to explode every second, only waiting for the vital spark.

_**Kilara**_

Aunt was quite interested in my journey, too. She leaned forward and her eyes seemed to sparkle, while I was talking about sleeping under the stars and meeting Jet, Smellerbee and Longshot.

I paused when I noticed uncle entering the room.

His face didn't give anything away, but dad encouraged me to keep talking and so I did. I really hoped that my story would convince uncle that it had been the right thing. Even though I couldn't tell the most crucial part of my journey.

But in the end the evening was great. I hadn't realised before that I had wanted to talk about everything I had seen or learned. Nanuk helped me to tell about Yin Jing and Renshu. All of them were astounded by Toph Beifong and also the fact that I had met two people who knew the Avatar before actually see the Avatar himself.

My family kept asking questions and I felt good and whole. They seemed to appreciate me again. After talking about all of that I explained myself calmer and more detailed to uncle and asked for his understanding and forgiveness.

That was humbling, but it needed to be done. I couldn't let that stand between the two of us.

While uncle was keeping his silence, I nearly started shifting around, jumping up and down and chewing on my fingernails. I didn't do any of those actions, only almost.

After a while uncle nodded and said that he would try to understand and that he wasn't angry with me anymore. He also said that he didn't see me as something to bargain about, but that he truly thought that marrying would be the best for me.

I nodded. "I see your point now, but that is not the only option girls have. I'm only fifteen and I just feel too young to bind myself forever. I'm not ready for this kind of relationship and there is still so much to see and learn for me. And to be honest, I really want to marry one day because of love, because it is my wish and desire. Not only to have a secure life."

Uncle sighed and looked to the side. "I understand that pretty well. I married your aunt out of love, after all." They exchanged an affectionate smile.

"Thank you, uncle. I never wanted to disappoint you, but there is only so much I can change about myself."

Nanuk was looking at me proudly and for a few seconds we all basked in happy silence.

/

Dad didn't tell us yet when he would leave for Ba Sing Se again, but at night I had sneaked into Nanuk's bedroom and talked to him about how we were going to convince dad to let us come with him. We were both determined and talked for a few minutes, until Nanuk kicked me out, since he needed his sleep. He certainly was no night person.

I went to bed after that, too, but I couldn't sleep. I kept asking myself if I would see Jet, Smellerbee and Longshot again, if I went to Ba Sing Se. Maybe I would even meet Prince Zuko and Prince Iroh, too. I was really worried about the young prince and hoped he was doing okay.

And on our way to Ba Sing Se, maybe we would have to pass through Renshu's village again? I stretched my legs and grinned at my ceiling as I thought of his eyes and smile and how I had felt when he had looked at me for too long or how that kiss had been. I sighed and imagined how a reunion between the two of us would be. If we would kiss again and if we would do more than kissing.

I bit on my lower lip and swallowed the urge to giggle at my non-innocent thoughts.

Because of things like this I missed my mother even more. She was not here, so that I could talk to her about my first kiss. I couldn't giggle the whole time while telling her about Renshu and how good looking I found him. I swallowed past the knot in my throat and tried not to cry.

But my tears came and the pain, too. Fresh and raw, as if I had just seen the message which had said that she had died. I cried silently and hugged my pillow to my chest, which hurt so much.

I missed her. I wanted her to be with me, to be alive. She didn't deserve to die, not like that. She had taught me waterbending and to be strong, even proud of being a girl.

I didn't know how much time had passed, but after a while my door opened and Nanuk entered my room. I just looked up at him, and saw his worried and pained expression when he closed the door.

He lied down beside me and held me in a tight embrace while I kept crying. He didn't say a word and let me cry as long as I wanted and needed to.

Nanuk's presence always comforted me and I knew that I was never really alone as long as he was with me, so I thanked the spirits that he was. I thanked them that I still had him, dad, uncle and aunt.

For the next days, Nanuk and I were waiting for the right opportunity to talk to dad, but we were both rather afraid of doing it. Dad had never allowed us to come with him and he had always warned us about Ba Sing Se.

Mum's birthday was in two weeks and we decided to ask dad about it on that day, since we thought he might be more open to that on a special day like this, when we would all think about love and family.

But on that evening, dad was informing us that he would leave on the next day.

I stiffened and glanced across the table at my brother. He raised an eyebrow in my direction and I nodded.

Nanuk took a deep breath. "Dad, Kira and I want to come with you," he said firmly and I felt proud of him.

Dad and uncle frowned at each other. "I expected that," dad sighed. "I was already thinking about the same thing. Nanuk, I have a friend who is working in an architecture bureau and they would like to offer you an internship. It is time to think about your future now. You're good with maths and your earthbending is just made for it."

Nanuk smiled smugly. "Yeah, I think I could actually like that. An architecture bureau. Yeah, I'd like that a lot."

I looked at him with amused annoyance and turned anxiously towards dad.

"But Kira… I don't think you're ready for that city. It is so different from everything you know and it is not perfect. There are big injustices and…"

"I am the same age as my brother is and I can deal with everything he can, too! I know all that. I read so much about Ba Sing Se and of course I don't like it, but I'm informed and I would simply adapt. You cannot just leave me behind!" I snapped, folding my arms and looking to the side.

"Kira is right," Nanuk stated. "She can take care of herself and she is mature enough to handle all of this. And by the way, I'm not going without her."

Dad's face sank. "I understand that, but…"

"No, dad. We already lost mum and I will not lose Kira, too. I believe in her and I want her to be with us and happy! Why can't you do that, too?" my brother growled. His light bluish green eyes were narrowed at our father and I blinked in surprise.

The relationship between dad and Nanuk had sometimes been a bit tense, especially since he had hit puberty, but Nanuk had never growled at him like that.

Dad stiffened and sighed. "That's not what I'm saying. I want Kira to stay here, because she's safer here. I'm doing this because I don't want to lose her either!"

Nanuk's knuckles were still white from the fists he had formed around his chopsticks and dad's nostrils flared a bit.

Oh moon.

"Erm… guys, could I maybe say something about that, too?" I asked and dad sighed again. "Dad, you just got here three days ago! How can you not understand that we want to spend more time with you? We miss you and I really, really want to go with you! I don't want to lose you again and I want us to be like before, living together like a family. Dad, in Ba Sing Se, Nanuk and I could both find our future."

Uncle frowned at me and cleared his throat. "Excuse me, but how do you want to do that? You don't want to marry soon, so what future are you talking about?"

"I'm going to the University of Ba Sing Se. I will study history, economics and politics," I exclaimed in a firm tone and hoped that this would be all to convince them.

Dad blinked at me. "Y-you'd still like to study? I thought, after we were in the Fire Nation you gave that up."

My jaw nearly fell to the floor. "Huh? What? No! Why should I do that?"

Dad raised his eyebrows at me and shrugged. "Well, every time I was talking about university, you would interrupt me or downright tell me that you didn't want to talk about it."

I glanced at Nanuk, who looked as stunned as I felt.

"What, no. I just didn't want to hear about it, because you were going to leave us for this. I was just afraid that you'll never come back. So I didn't want to hear how great the university was," I said quietly.

Dad closed his eyes and laid his hand on top of mine. "Kira. Of course I'd always come back. I admit it wasn't the best thing to leave you right after our trip to the Fire Nation, but if you still want to study, then I'll be glad if you would come with us to Ba Sing Se."

I frowned, staring at him and trying to process what it was that he had just said.

Oh moon and ocean spirit! I was going to Ba Sing Se! Dad would let me study!

In the next moment I was on my feet and attacked dad with a bear hug, so that he fell flat on his back. I felt Nanuk next to me and we both said "Thank you" all over again while our dad was laughing in delight.

I drew back and grinned wider than ever since mum had died. "You have no idea how happy this makes me! Dad, that's what I always dreamed of!"

Dad took Nanuk's and my hands in his. "It will be great to live with you two again!"

"Then we're going to be like a family again!" Nanuk exclaimed and dad's smile saddened a bit.

I held back my tears and squeezed my eyes shut.

"Your mother would have wanted this for us," dad whispered and we hugged each other again.

When we all drew back and sat on our cushions properly, I saw aunt Chunhua wiping some tears away.

"Excuse me," she sniffed. "This was just such a wonderful moment and to see how much you all love each other…" She pressed her palms to her eyes and Nanuk and I looked slightly embarrassed.

Uncle Aiguo touched her arm gently. "What is it, dear?"

Aunt Chunhua bit on her lower lip. "Nothing, really. I just feel very emphatic and emotional lately."

I raised my eyebrows in exhilaration and whispered something into Nanuk's ear. He frowned at me, not getting why I wanted him to do that, but he stomped his foot on the floor and closed his eyes. His brows contracted in bewilderment and he stomped again.

"Nanuk? What's this demeanour?" uncle Aiguo asked in irritation.

Dad chuckled. "He tries to see with earthbending. Sensing his environment," dad explained. My uncle was no bender, but dad was an earthbender. Growing up together, uncle should probably know this, since I thought that he clearly had seen dad doing this before. But then again, Nanuk had developed this on his own, while playing hide and seek with me.

"Uh… Kira, did you want me to feel this?" Nanuk asked, looking almost sick.

"Depends," I answered and leaned towards him. "Does aunt have two heartbeats?" I whispered so that no one else could hear it.

Nanuk's eyes widened slightly, but he nodded.

I grinned again and let out a squeaking sound.

"Okay, what is it, you two?" aunt wanted to know, one hand on a hip and I stared at her belly.

"Well, aunt Chunhua," I said, still grinning, "you should probably let a doctor check you out, since something strange is occurring in your body."

Nanuk nodded, but he still didn't get it and frowned at my happiness. "Yeah, I sensed it. It was so strange, that I was feeling for it again, but it is definitely there. Your heart has two heartbeats."

Aunt frowned at him and I hit him in the arm. "No, you dummy! Aunt, you're pregnant!"

Uncle immediately started shouting in delight and jumped up. "Woooohoooooo! Chunhua!" Uncle grinned down at her and pulled her on her feet. She was still looking a bit dazed, as if she didn't realise that this was real. She only blinked as uncle hugged her tightly, then he kissed her face and he was laughing all the while. "We're going to be parents! We're going to have a child, Chunhua!"

Her lip trembled and tears fell from her eyes. "Yes, oh earth! I cannot believe it!"

Uncle wiped her tears away and kissed her deeply.

I raised an eyebrow at my brother who made gagging motions, which caused me to giggle.

Dad frowned at us and scolded us when he noticed uncle looking.

But uncle only smiled and pulled aunt into another hug.

Nanuk and I exchanged another glance. Wow, uncle behaved like… well, not like uncle. I could easily imagine dad reacting like this when mum had told him that she was pregnant, but uncle? The controlled and strict uncle who only smiled, but never laughed? A part of me was just confused, but another more adult part of me noticed that uncle just loved aunt so much that he reacted more enthusiastically as he usually did. That made me smile and I knew that I would be looking for this. I would be looking for someone whose reaction would even be more than his normal happy behaviour.

I still liked Renshu and part of my heart wanted him to be that person. But my feelings for him weren't close enough to uncle's and aunt's love and with leaving for Ba Sing Se I might never see him again.

But maybe I would find this person in Ba Sing Se.

* * *

_The next chapter will be uploaded in a week!_

_Please leave reviews!_


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

**New and Old Friends**

_**Zuko**_

Quietly groaning I let myself fall onto my bed.

It was very small and short. When I was lying on it with my legs stretched and my head on the headend, my feet would dangle off the edge. And since it was so small, I once had fallen on the floor, while tossing because of a nightmare.

I wasn't used to small beds like this. What person could possibly sleep curled up like an embryo not moving for the whole night? Because that's the only person who could sleep in there without any problems. Even sleeping on the ground while travelling had been more comfortable.

So my feet dangled off the edge in that moment, while I was groaning slightly into my pillow. I didn't even know why I was so… so… yeah, I didn't even know what I was.

Sighing I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling. After I grew tired of that, I pressed my palms against my temples and sighed again.

Dragons, that had been something. Something I had never done before and it had been okay.

More than okay, actually.

Jin had been pretty nice and real fun. I had enjoyed myself and I couldn't remember the last time when I had felt so relaxed. I didn't need to fear that Azula could show up, or that I wouldn't catch the Avatar or that my father would never accept me.

Jin's personality and presence had made it so easy to forget about all these things.

But she hadn't known me. She couldn't ever know me and I didn't want to lie to someone who could be part of my life. If I really was Lee, a simple refugee, maybe then I could have kissed Jin back. Maybe then we would still be at that place and maybe she would show me where she lived. Then we would kiss again and I would go home. Ant she'd be at the tea shop tomorrow again.

But that was not me, that would never be me.

I was not at peace with this life, nor the fact that I needed to hide my identity. My identity had given me many privileges and special treatment. I had could demand everything from Fire Nation citizens, even as a banished prince I still had the power over certain military ranks.

If I didn't overcome these facts I couldn't try to make myself friends or a future here.

After a while I got up to wash my face and brush my teeth, since Uncle needed to think that I would be in bed soon.

I undressed myself to my undergarments and put my black clothes on.

Uncle's footsteps sounded louder behind my door and I quickly darted under my blanket to hide my clothes.

Uncle knocked at the wooden frame, but I knew that he would enter, whether or not I would allow him to.

"Zuko, is everything alright?" Uncle asked and sounded worried.

I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes. "Yes, I'm fine, Uncle. I'm just tired."

"Well, then you should probably sleep, nephew."

Now I couldn't contain myself anymore. My head snapped towards him. "That's what I was trying to do!"

Uncle raised one eyebrow and hummed thoughtfully. "Well, then maybe that's exactly what you should do. Good night, nephew."

"Good night, Uncle." My eyes narrowed at his retreating back and I got the impression that he knew exactly that I didn't want to sleep.

Sighing, I rolled onto my side and laid my hands under my cheek.

I played with the thought of staying here and getting a good night's sleep, but something about Jin's expression earlier made me get up and sneak out of the apartment. I ran back to the fire light fountain, but before I could make it there I spotted Jin on a small and dark street. She was probably going back home.

I crouched down on the flat roof I had been walking on and bent over the edge to see her better.

But it was hopeless, with no light there was no way to know how she looked. I really hoped that she wasn't sad or angry, because I had just left her at that fountain.

Nevertheless I followed her silently, watching her as she walked through the streets.

The lower ring was dangerous, especially at night and for a young girl, so I was glad that I had found her. I also was a bit ashamed that it had taken me so long to leave our apartment.

I was walking on the roofs on the left side of the street and Jin turned right. From my position I could see into the small alley and frowned, when I saw two men with knives. Quickly I jumped down the roof and crossed the street to help her, but…

First, the men darted out of the shadows, knives pointing at Jin.

She didn't even flinch and only put one hand onto her hip. "What on earth are you doing?"

"Uh…" one of them said, but both quickly retreated. "We, uh…"

"We didn't know it was you," the other one said in a pleading voice and put his hands up to show the lack of weapons.

"Please don't hurt us!"

I frowned and moved back into the shadows.

These two looked genuinely frightened and I was totally bewildered.

Jin lifted one hand and it looked as if she was tapping her chin. "Normally, I wouldn't. But I'm not in such a good mood, so I guess you're having bad luck."

She quickly moved into an earthbending stance and liquefied the ground under the men, and they sank into it immediately.

My eyes widened, while I was watching them and I tried to bring this frightening bender together with the friendly girl with the big appetite.

It was strange to see that those men obviously knew her and even were afraid of her. Well, she seemed to be a good bender and maybe criminals to each other about people who were too dangerous for robbing them.

Part of me admired that about Jin, but another one was still only confused.

When Jin didn't stop the men started screaming and begging and I rushed forward to help them, when their upper bodies began to sink, too.

But Jin hardened the floor again and turned around. She'd probably heard me.

Her eyes widened a bit, while she was looking me up and down. "Huh, afraid of showing your face?"

I blinked, feeling stunned, but I became angry rather quickly, since she has assumed that I was afraid of something.

Frowning, I pointed towards the two still shaking men.

Jin crossed her arms under her breasts and because there was movement I looked there automatically and noticed that her breasts were big. Like melonoranges, and I didn't understand how I had not noticed that before. I had never seen such big breasts before and I felt embarrassed and angry at myself that I even had noticed them. They were not important!

She rolled her eyes and inspected her fingernails. "The next earthbender who passes by will release them, so don't worry your spirit head about it."

I frowned and was slightly reminded by her demeanour of Azula, which didn't just confuse me, but also made me sick. I had kissed this girl! That had been my first kiss!

My eyebrows contracted, I looked to the side and considered what and if I should do something.

But Jin was right and I didn't need to linger here. I had seen that she was perfectly fine all by herself.

So I shrugged and backed away.

Jin rolled her eyes again. "It was also nice meeting you, Blueface." Then she turned around and walked away.

Sighing, I did the same thing. I wasn't in any need for any more action tonight, so I simply returned to our apartment.

_**Kilara**_

"I'm so happy for you, dear. Going to Ba Sing Se, wow! It's such a magnificent city and way larger than anything you have ever seen! The walls are marvellous and believe me, you will see the most strange and crazy things there!" Aunt was blabbering, while she sat in on a chair and watched how two servants and I were packing my stuff.

The servant girls took care of my clothes, shoes and make-up, while I was packing my books, scrolls and quills.

"I'm really looking forward to it, aunt," I said and bound a ribbon around my favourite bending scroll. Uncle had given it to me a few weeks ago, after the one he had wanted to give me for my birthday had been stolen from the owners, before he had even had the chance to buy it.

"That was the last of your shoes, miss," Weilin told me, while Shizue closed the trunk.

I smiled at them. "Thank you," I said and put the last of my scrolls into the other trunk.

"So, then that's it!" I exclaimed happily and stemmed my hands on my hips, letting out a relieved sigh.

"It will be so lonely without you here," aunt Chunhua said with a sad smile.

I approached her and took her hands into mine. "I know uncle is busy, but soon you will have a rosy little thing that will cry all day and demand all your attention. Then it won't be lonely at all."

Aunt Chunhua chuckled and laid a hand on her stomach. "You're right. I can't wait to see her or him. I'm so excited!"

"You're going to be a great mother," I told her and hoped that I sounded reassuring.

Weilin and Shizue carried together one trunk and Nanuk came to my room to help me with the other one. "Man, it was about time that you finished packing. Dad and I were waiting now for far too long! And what the hell did you put in here? Rocks?!"

I rolled my eyes. "Stop complaining and watch your step!" I warned, as we approached the steps.

"Yes, madam!" he exclaimed and looked half over his shoulder to see where he was going.

Outside two servants, men the age of our father, took the trunk from us and lifted it onto the carriage. I spun around quickly to run into my room again.

I needed to see my room again for one last time, before leaving it forever. I had only lived in here for a little more than four months, but I still had come to like it and call it "my" room. But I didn't feel sad at all, while I was looking around to see if I had forgotten anything.

Finding nothing, I smiled to myself and closed the door, after I had stepped out.

Outside dad and Nanuk were saying goodbye to aunt Chunhua and uncle Aiguo. I swallowed and jogged the last feet to reach them faster.

"Kira, what on earth have you been doing?" uncle scolded me, looking angry and worried.

"Just looking, if I forgot something," I said with a raised eyebrow.

Uncle Aiguo sighed heavily and ran a hand down his face.

Aunt Chunhua distracted me with the most motherly hug I had ever got since mum's death.

I wrapped my arms around her and pressed my cheek to her chest, smiling and inhaling her flowery scent again. I'd probably just see her again on the harvest festival and that was five months from now.

"Take care, okay? And stay how you are. You'll show them what a smart girl you are," she whispered into my ear and I smiled.

"Thank you. And remember. You're going to be a great mum," I whispered back and she hugged me more tightly, before letting go.

When I turned to uncle Aiguo he looked slightly uncomfortable and I frowned. Was he not okay with me studying? Well, if this was the case, he just had to swallow it!

Uncle sighed and a small smile appeared on his face. It was small, but his eyes were smiling, too. "I knew we didn't have the best start and I'm sorry that I couldn't understand you sooner. But I hope you know that I still love you. If you're going to marry a good man or if you're going to study. I really want you to be happy and to have a good life," he said sincerely and I felt deeply touched.

I had to fight the tears again, as I simply hugged him tightly around the middle. Well, I was too small to hug him in any other way.

After a few seconds uncle returned my hug and squeezed my upper arms a bit.

"That means a lot to me. Thank you." I pulled back and looked into his face. "And sorry for being such a pain to you. I didn't do anything to improve our situation, but I love you, too."

Uncle Aiguo's smile widened a bit and his hands moved to my shoulders, which he squeezed, too. "Thanks. That means a lot to me, too."

I smiled again and then turned away to walk over to dad and Nanuk. I took a deep breath and smiled at them reassuringly.

"So… are we going?" I asked.

Nanuk's face lit up in a grin. "Finally. I thought your goodbyes would take all eternity."

I quickly hit him on the arm.

"Ouch!" he snarled, his eyes narrowed at me.

"Oh come on, it wasn't that hard!"

"Of course it wasn't, since my 'ouch' was an exclamation of surprise and not of pain. And you cannot say that I'm a baby or be sarcastic!" Nanuk grinned at his own words and poked his tongue out at me.

I rolled my eyes again. "I was actually going to say that you delay our depart with your baby skin!"

"Hey, I just said nothing about babies!"

Dad looked a bit confused and looked at uncle Aiguo, who shrugged.

"You raised them. They were only here for five months."

Dad's lips curved into a smile and he chuckled at his brother's words a bit. "Yeah, you're right." Then he laid his arms around Nanuk and me and smiled at us. "And we're going to spend the next months together!"

"Then let's get moving!" Nanuk said and balled his hands to fists in excitement.

We were grinning at each other and off to race to the carriage. Nanuk got in there first, because he was taller than me with longer legs, and I crossed my arms and pretended to pout to make him feel better.

Dad followed shortly after and he knocked onto the roof, which was the sign for the coachman to depart.

Uncle and aunt were standing arm in arm and waving at us. Nanuk and I leaned our upper bodies out of the window and waved back.

"We'll miss you!"

"We love you!"

"Until next time!"

"Kids, sit, before you fall out of the window!" dad scolded us in an amused voice.

Nanuk and I grinned sheepishly at him, but then I turned around, because I still wanted to look out of the window.

I always got sick in coaches and needed to look down at the earth, so that it wouldn't be so bad.

Now I wasn't feeling sick yet, so I grinned to myself, while I kept repeating it in my head that I was going to Ba Sing Se! I would study and I still couldn't believe it!

I just had found the courage to bring the subject up, to even think about it as a real possibility, because of the journey I had made. Because of meeting Prince Zuko I had noticed that there was more what could be done by one single person.

_Thank you, Zuko_, I thought and was wondering if I would ever see him again to say it to him personally.

/

The route to Ba Sing Se was long and definitely unpleasant.

First, the landscape reminded me of when I had rode through it on Onyx, but after a week it wasn't only arid, it was nearly desertic and I knew that we would cross the Si Wong Desert soon. The "soon" was apparently the next day.

Dad had travelled a few times already through the desert and he had made a few acquaintances. He wouldn't say friends, but he knew some trustworthy sandbenders.

I have no idea how much dad payed them, but it was certainly a lot for them, since they were really eager to accompany us through the desert.

I knew the Si Wong desert was huge and that people would need months to cross it, if they were on foot, but to make it in two and a half days on these gliders was extremely impressive.

Our coach, Onyx and Nanuk's ostrich horse Topaz had been carried on a sandglider, too and both would accompany us to Ba Sing Se.

"Kira, Nanuk. Tomorrow we'll reach Halfmoon Bay and…"

"Isn't that the place from which all the refugees go to Ba Sing Se?" Nanuk interrupted him, while he was eying his food suspiciously.

"Er, yes, it is. But it is also the only place for anyone to go to Ba Sing Se", dad explained and I frowned.

"Why? What about traders or theatre groups? Why can't they go into the city?" I wanted to know took some noodles between my chopsticks.

"If there were another, more open place for people to get into Ba Sing Se, the Fire Nation would use it immediately," dad said. "Besides, Ba Sing SE doesn't need traders or theatre groups. Everything they need for their living is cultivated in the outer ring. It is vast with different sections of fields, grassland and forests. And Ba Sing Se holds a spectrum of the best and most talented theatres and other performances of the arts in the world."

I raised my eyebrows sceptically. "Better than the Volcanacts?" The Volcanacts were a theatre group we had seen in Fire Fountain City in December last year. They had performed a tragic love story with great choreographies of dance, fight and fast gripping songs. The play had also had funny moments for the audience to laugh and I couldn't ever imagine a play to be better than that.

Dad twisted his mouth. "No, not quite. But they dance and sing, too. Not in the plays, but there are extra dance troupes or choirs, if you want to see dancing or hear singing there."  
Nanuk raised an eyebrow in an unimpressed manner.

"So, Ba Sing Se shuts itself down and only allows refugees in?"

Dad sighed. "You could say it like that. What I'm about to tell you now is something extremely important, that no one knows of, who does not live in Ba Sing Se. Not even your uncle knows it."

Within a second Nanuk and I sat up straight and leaned eagerly forward.

Dad looked at us with a worried expression. "It is not something good. I've told you before that Ba Sing Se is not what it seems. That it is dangerous there." He sighed heavily and stared into the flames of our campfire. "You see, around three hundred years ago, there were high insecurities in the city. The conqueror Chin was on his way to rule the whole Earth Kingdom, but the Earth King was unmovable. Chin wasn't strong enough yet to attack Ba Sing Se, but he threatened the king and promised all sorts of things to the people. They started to believe him and became envious of the people under his regime. The Earth King and his advisors were the only ones who saw through that farce. Chin was nothing more than a megalomaniac and greedy man. But the people of Ba Sing Se rose against the Earth King and wanted to give up everything that made Ba Sing Se what it is to join Chin. He promised to take the walls down, so that the poorer could also move freely through the upper rings, which is not really a bad thing, if you ask me. Even then, Ba Sing Se had its prob…"

"Dad!" Nanuk interrupted him again. "I'm not in the mood for a history lesson. Why don't you get to the point?"

Dad looked a bit irritated that Nanuk was not that fascinated by history as he and I were, but he nodded. "Well, okay. Avatar Kyoshi helped the Earth King at the end to regain control over Ba Sing Se, together with several soldiers or ministers of the Earth King. She then stopped Chin from taking her home and separated Kyoshi Island from the continent, but she also founded an organisation to protect the cultural heritage of Ba Sing Se. The people should always know their heritage and be thankful for it, so that they would not ever again want to join another regime and revolt this hard against the king. The cultural authority of Ba Sing Se still exists and they are called the Dai Li." Dad's face turned grim and serene and that was surely enough to make Nanuk and me listen carefully. "They wear long black robes with the symbol of the Earth Kingdom on their chest and round pointing hats made of metal. Be always careful when you are around them. Don't you ever mention the war, the refugees, the Avatar or anything that has to do with the Fire Nation. Not only, when you see them, because they are masters of disguise."

Nanuk and I looked at each other, feeling puzzled.

The light of the flames danced on dad's skin and threw dark shadows on his face.

Despite the fact that we weren't in the desert anymore, the nights were still frosty and I snuggled deeper into my bedroll.

"The Dai Li agents are excellent fighters, if they want to catch you, they will. They spy on almost anyone in the upper ring to gather as much information of the people as they can. They control everything, even the university and any gathering of people. Be it a pai sho club or a choir. They don't want the people to speak about the war, because it would cause disturbances and panic, if the people knew what is going on out here. So it is extremely…"

"What? Do you mean that the people of Ba Sing Se don't even know that there's a war?" I exclaimed, feeling horrified and more disgusted than ever.

Dad sighed and looked down. "Yes. Most people in the middle or upper ring have no idea. The refugees arrive in the lower ring, so of course they know, but they still don't talk about it. They are mostly traumatised or just want to forget the war and start a new life, so it is not difficult to keep the refugees under control. The point is, whatever you do, whatever you see, don't you ever talk about the war. Never. Not even when you think we're alone. I don't want to hear a word about it, is that clear?"

"But dad, that's horrible. These people…"

"Nanuk, don't!" dad snarled and my eyes widened.

"But Nanuk's right! They cannot just sit there without knowing and waiting for the Fire Nation to attack. Because that's what is going to happen. They won't stop, before they've got Ba Sing Se, but the people are not prepared and…"

"Kira, stop! Shut your mouth, both of you!" Dad's voice had a hard and cold tone that I had only ever heard once, before our mother had died. One of dad's friends had accidentally spilled wine over old scrolls he had just bought. They hadn't been expensive, but dad always said that people often didn't understand the value of the most common items, even if they are different from all the others which look like it.

Dad ran a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, it's just… There's nothing you can do. It is as it is and we have to live with it. The Dai Li is dangerous and I'm afraid you might do something which will get you into trouble. I don't want anything to happen to you, but I won't be able to protect you from the Dai Li. You've got to choose. Either you'll accept the conditions of living in Ba Sing Se or you'll return to your uncle."

My eyes widened in horror and I quickly looked at Nanuk who was looking at me, too. He did look unsettled and confused and enraged at the same time.

So Ba Sing Se was one of those places which needed some change, too. Maybe not now, but maybe in ten years (if it wouldn't be under the Fire Nation's control by then) I could try to change something. Slowly, gradually and with another identity.

Dad had been right. It was not perfect and I would not simply accept the circumstances there. But I also couldn't just do something rash. I didn't know the Dai Li, but dad clearly did, so I would just do as he had said. Then I would get to know the Dai Li better, I would observe them, maybe even become part of them and then slowly change them and change the life of the people in Ba Sing Se, prepare them for war.

Okay, I know, I sound pretty arrogant to think that I could start something like that all by myself, but I was smart. I would find allies, I would protect myself and my family by not giving my identity away and if I planned enough, if I planned it slowly, then I was sure that something could change. I just needed patience.

These was certainly a big plan for a fifteen year-old girl, but it was, at least, something more material than just studying and trying to get into an important political position.

This plan had more substance.

My mind was racing with images and ideas, but I tried to push them all to the side, since they wouldn't make sense, because I'd never seen the Dai Li agents myself.

I nodded firmly at Nanuk, who nodded back with a grim expression on his face.

"We'll accept it. We won't say anything about the Fire Nation or the war and we won't cause any problems," Nanuk and I said in unison and looked at each other, feeling surprised. Our mouths spread simultaneously into grins and we chuckled a bit.

Dad seemed a bit more relaxed, too, because he smiled again and nodded. "Good. I wouldn't want to send you back, but I don't want to lose you in the city either."

"You won't, dad," I said reassuringly.

"Yeah, we promise," confirmed Nanuk.

I nodded, but didn't say it out loud, since I knew that with the plans in my head I might not be able to keep such a promise.

/

Around noon on the next day we made it to the secret entrance of Halfmoon Bay, which was guarded by earthbenders who hid themselves inside of rocks. They saw us through thin slits in the rock and asked us immediately who we were and what we wanted.

They even lied and said they were patrolling, but one of them recognised dad's name from a list of clear people they apparently had.

They opened a cave in the hill and I thought, it would expand itself to a tunnel, but instead of enlarging the cave, the soldiers bent the earth, so that we were travelling in the cave downwards.

Nanuk pointed out to me, that it wasn't only due to their bending, but that there were some mechanisms which held the cave intact and that there obviously was an empty well under us. I could see that he wanted to say that it was just like a lift, but with bending, but fortunately he kept his mouth shut.

We had seen a lift only once and that had been in Fire Fountain City backstage of the Volcanacts. They had used it to make people come on stage from underneath it and one of the workers there had explained to us that some lifts were even made for eight people, but these mostly existed in military constructions. Strongholds, factories or warships. And, of course, in the palace.

I just rolled my eyes and held onto my brother who stood firmly on the ground. I really didn't like this way of travelling.

"Isn't this marvellous, kids? We're not even yet in Ba Sing Se, but you already saw some modern technology!" Dad beamed and looked around in the sparsely lighted cave.

Modern technology? Riiiight.

"It totally is, dad!" I exclaimed with a big grin on my face and tried to look as that would really impress me.

Right after that, we stopped and the soldiers opened a wall.

It was light outside, so I needed some time to get adjusted to it, but I still followed dad, Nanuk, Onyx and Topaz outside.

The hall or the cave, since it really was one, was huge!

There were around fifteen small boxes, in which a person sat and from where the people here got their tickets. The queues waiting in front of those were long and the people all looked miserable. There were small children, even babies, but none of them played. They all stood next to their families, eyes cast down, looking too thin and too serious.

I quickly walked over to Onyx and took his reins, so that he wouldn't get nervous by all these people.

I looked around again and saw that there were also groups of people standing and even sitting between the queues, eating or talking or just looking somewhere, without really seeing.

Dad let us to the left side of the cave to wait in the last queue, as a woman's desperate crying caught my attention.

"But I'm telling you, our house burnt to the ground and out passports were in there!"

"No passports, no tickets!" the woman in the box replied in a harsh tone.

I frowned and tugged at dad's sleeve. "Do we need passports for the ferry?"

Dad nodded. "Don't worry. I've got yours with me. And even Onyx and Topaz have one, though I'll need to pay for them extra."

I bit on my lower lip. "But dad, not everyone here has got a passport. In those small villages the Fire Nation likes to attack, the people from there, they don't even have passports at all, do they?"

Dad's expression became grim and he shook his head. "No, they don't. Come on," he urged and followed the shorter queue closer to the box.

I turned around to look at the woman again, but she was gone. I frowned in confusion and disappointment. I had already been thinking about helping them somehow, but now they… Did they just give up? Well, but what other choice did they have?

I let my gaze wander over the place and I felt sick to my stomach. Many of those people didn't have passports, I realised and curled my hands into fists.

The war had already driven all those people from their homes! They were desperate to be in a safe place, to have their family in a safe place, but they couldn't arrive there, because they didn't have a stupid piece of paper.

Nanuk grabbed my arm and pulled me with him towards dad. My brother was looking at me with a knowing look and I cast my eyes down.

All this suffering and grief in here made me want to cry and shout at the world, why it was so cruel. Why had it let this happen? I knew that the spirits were mostly uninterested in human happenings, but still…

The Avatar had been gone, but was he really the only person who could do something? Why hadn't someone else tried to do something? To fight the Fire Nation and to make the life of all people better and more just?

I took a deep breath to calm myself, since I knew that no one would be able to answer those questions for me. There was nothing I could do now, but maybe later… I could open a bureau for false passports to help those refugees.

I grasped Nanuk's hand and squeezed it. He squeezed it back and I felt a bit more in control of my emotions. I still needed to blink a few times to hold back tears.

"Hey! No!"

Nanuk and I turned around to see what was going on. It seemed to be at the end of the queue next to us.

"No! Thief! Please, help!"

Nanuk and I just looked at each other, his expression painfully determined and he already darted forward.

I was right behind him and took a grip on the opening of my water flask.

When we were close enough, we could see saw enraged and desperate man with a beard shaking his fist. A woman held his arm to hold him back.

"Help! Someone help us!"

"Where did he go?" Nanuk shouted at the man, who pointed at a point through the crowd.

"This way!"

It wasn't that easy to run through this crowd, since I also didn't want to hurt, endanger or anger anyone.

"Sorry! I'm sorry! Could you please move to the side? Coming through! Chasing a chief, sorry!"

"There he is!" Nanuk called out to me and I narrowed my eyes, trying to make a running person out of the crowd.

He made it to the rock wall and bent a platform out of it, that pushed him up to the ceiling.

"Oh no, you don't!" Nanuk roared, jumped his foot down and raised his arm in a fast powerful movement. An earth column shot out of the ground, growing faster than the thief's platform rising and crashing it at the end.

The man tried to hold onto the column, but Nanuk let it crumble and moved it into the ground again, so that the man was falling down from around thirty feet.

His cry sounded so frightened, and I quickly bent the water from my flask to catch him, but I knew it wouldn't be enough. Without looking back, I summoned some water from the bay, let it quickly over the heads of the people and brought my arms down again to catch the man. But his fall was too fast and he just splashed through the water. My hold of the water mixed with the water in his body, when he fell through it and I grasped that last chance I had to save him. I narrowed my eyes, feeling his blood and forced my mind to grab it. At the same time I bent the water under him again and made sure that I would catch him this time.

I let him down slowly and panted, once he was on the floor.

Nanuk was already next to him.

He grabbed his collar and pressed his knee to the man's chest. "Give back what you've stolen!" he growled and the man's eyes widened in fear.

I moved closer to them, but was instantly shoved out of the way by a bunch of soldiers who surrounded Nanuk and the thief.

"Get up!" one of them shouted.

Nanuk got up immediately and held his hands up, palms turned to the front.

The thief did the same thing and the soldiers moved into fighting stances.

I quickly wormed my way through the tall muscular men and came to stand in front of my brother. "He just wanted to help!" I explained. "This man," I pointed at the thief, "stole something from a family over there at the end of a queue. We tried to stop him," I said loudly and clearly to make sure that everyone understood me.

But I became nervous and swallowed, when I noticed how many people were now looking at us. Almost everyone had turned around to see what had happened and with the water and the rocks still lying on the ground I felt very self-conscious.

The bearded man who had been stolen from was making his way to us. "Please! Let me through! I'm the victim here!"

A soldier, a young girl, how I noticed stepped forward. "What was stolen from you?" she asked.

I felt stunned that a girl who looked to be my age, was serving in the army. That was unusual, since girls weren't allowed in the army at all. A few centuries ago they had been allowed, but only at the age of eighteen, and this girl was clearly not eighteen. She was too small for that.

The bearded man looked confused at the authority she held and blinked. "Erm… excuse me, miss, but I think one of these older and more experienced man should maybe solve this here."

The girl narrowed her eyes and walked to the man, until she was right in his space, toe to toe.

She held her head high and didn't even touch him. Her voice was frightening enough. "Listen here. I am the one in charge and if you don't like that, then leave."

"But… but our passports," the man said irritated and took a step back.

"So your passports were stolen? I'm afraid that you cannot cross the lake without them," she said and folded her arms. The other soldiers who surrounded us were only paying attention to the thief, as if they were used to this girl being the boss.

The man blinked and looked around, as if he hoped that a tall muscular man would appear to put that small girl in her place. When he noticed that she was indeed the one in charge he sighed and bowed with his hand over his fist.

"Please, I am sorry. My family and I just want our passports back."

A satisfied smirk covered the girl's face and she turned around to look at some soldiers next to us. "Search them," she said.

"Hey!" I protested and tried to wiggle out of the soldiers' grip.

"We're not the thieves!" Nanuk shouted and tried to break out of the grip of two soldiers while another was searching them.

The girl looked unimpressed and walked towards us. "I don't have to believe you. I'll believe the evidence and if you're not guilty, you have nothing to fear."

Nanuk huffed and growled low in his throat.

I rolled my eyes and was relieved that it was a girl who also seemed to look my age was searching me. Then I noticed that there were actually quite a few young girls here in soldier uniforms.

I was released, when she was done and a young man found the passports and a purse in the thief's pockets.

The girl in charge walked over there, took the passports and purse and walked back to the bearded man. "Are these your things?" she asked.

The man nodded. "Yes, they are."

"Aren't you going to say 'thank you'?" she asked with a tone, which was slightly amused and slightly threatening.

My, she totally belonged into this position! She held her authority so well and everything she did had the right mix of "I-can-kick-your-ass-every-time" and "I-am-a-good-person-and-will-do-the-right-thing". She was marvellous!

The man frowned and looked at Nanuk and me. "But they stopped the thief! Not you or your soldiers!"

The girl didn't show any open reaction to this, she only turned around to look at Nanuk and me. We were released, as if she had given a secret sign.

"You're right. These two stopped the thief, so we should all thank them. They did our job, when we didn't manage to do it. It is thanks to you that his family," she made a vague hand gesture towards the bearded man, "can find peace behind the walls of Ba Sing Se."

Nanuk and I looked at each other and on both our faces appeared two grins.

The girl inclined her head and the bearded man even bowed deeper than before to the girl. "Thank you very much. I don't know what we would have done, if our passports had been lost forever."

Nanuk and I inclined our heads and looked around.

Some of the soldiers murmured something and I thought I heard them say "Avatar".

"Erm, we… actually, we should probably go back to our father. He's probably already worried," Nanuk said with a brilliant smile and walked to the side. "Oh, and you're welcome by the way. It was not a big deal."

I smiled, too and followed after my brother, but the girl in charge stepped in our way.

"Let me escort you," she said sweetly and I felt really uncomfortable.

Oh man, she was frightening.

"Uh, sure," I said, feeling unsure.

Nanuk shrugged and we kept walking.

"We're in the last queue at the end of the cave," I told the girl.

"We are taking two ostrich horses with us, that's why we'll take the animal ferry," Nanuk explained and the girl twisted her mouth.

"Alright. And you're only with your father? Did your mother die in a raid?" she asked, but didn't sound really compassionate, only curious and somehow suspicious.

I frowned at her, while Nanuk nodded and answered. "Yes. She was visiting some friends on Kyoshi last fall, when the raid occurred."

The girl's mouth opened slightly and she frowned. " Which month?"

"December, the first," Nanuk answered and the girl nodded.

"I'm sorry for your loss and my constant questions. It becomes part of one with this job," she said and smiled apologetically. She looked even prettier, when she did so and her blue eyes shone brightly. I wondered whether she was from the Northern Water Tribe.

"Why were you asking for the month?" I wanted to know, while we walked around a family sitting on the floor.

"Well, there were two raids last fall on Kyoshi and no one died in the first one, so I was just checking if you were saying the truth," she answered a bit sheepishly.

Nanuk and I looked at each other and I knew what he was thinking. Why couldn't mum have been on the island while the first raid had occurred? But two raids within a season were strange, especially for an island which had not been involved in the war.

"What happened?" I asked the girl.

"The Avatar appeared on our shore and soon after him the Fire Prince, too. He burnt our village down to make Aang come out, which he did. They fought a bit, but in the end Aang and his friends escaped on the flying bison and the Fire Prince followed them. No one was killed during the burning and although they fought determinedly, no one even got a small burn. Must have been very lousy firebenders," the girl said a bit arrogantly.

I frowned and was thinking about Prince Zuko. He had burnt down their village? Had he even cared if people were in the houses or if he accidentally burnt someone?

An icy feeling spread in my stomach and I felt suddenly really sick.

I had done so much to help him, I had risked my family's rejection to help him, to warn him, and what had he done?

A small part of me wanted to become angry at the prince, but another part of me, which was on the prince's side, told me that he had told me that he didn't deserve my help and kindness. That meant that he had known that he wasn't a good person, that he had done bad things.

I took a deep breath and tried to listen to the girl's further explanations.

I could still think about Prince Zuko later.

"Well, and then two days later, a middle-aged man with broad sideburns appeared with a warship even bigger than the prince's and two smaller vessels. He demanded to know where the Avatar and the prince had gone. No one told him and… then he just randomly shot fire at the crowd. Several were injured and two had to die. He ordered his soldiers to barricade every house's entrance from the outside and told them to set them on fire, if we didn't tell him."

Nanuk, the girl and I stopped walking and she looked at us with wide eyes.

"We didn't want to tell him, because the Avatar saved us from the prince, but this officer set the houses on fire, until our chief broke and told him. The man, I think Sokka said his name was Admiral Zhao, simply left and we had to break through the barricades all by ourselves."

My hands curled to fists and I felt tears burning behind my eyes.

That monster! It was exactly as I had imagined it! A cruel, probably laughing man was responsible for mum's death! Urrgghh, I would search the world for him and then I would make him pay! I would show him how much we had suffered, because mum had died! Admiral Zhao would…

Wait a minute.

I frowned and swallowed to be able to speak. "Admiral Zhao is dead," I said.

Nanuk and the girl turned towards me, both looking bewildered. "What? How do you know?" Nanuk asked.

"Don't you remember the wanted posters?" I asked, but didn't wait for an answer and turned to the girl once more. "Prince Zuko and Prince Iroh committed treason against the Fire Nation during the Siege of the Northern Water Tribe. There are Fire Nation soldiers looking all over for them. They came to our uncle's house and searched it. But they also said that Prince Zuko killed Admiral Zhao."

The girl's eyes widened and her mouth formed an o.

Nanuk frowned and curled his hands into fists. "Great. The Fire Nation Prince killed our mother's murderer. How nice of him," he said sarcastically and looked off to the side.

I frowned and looked at him worriedly.

But when he didn't say anything else I addressed the girl again. "So you were there? You're from Kyoshi?"

The girl nodded. "Yes, I'm actually the leader of the Kyoshi Warriors. My name is Suki."

I frowned at her name and then my eyes widened in excitement. "Suki, oh moon! I cannot believe it!"

Nanuk frowned. "What? Does her name mean something special?"

"No, you dumbhead. Have you forgotten that we used to live on Kyoshi?"

Nanuk blushed a bit, and I could tell that he really hadn't thought about it.

"We were born on Kyoshi and lived there, until we were five years old. And we had neighbours who had a daughter our age named Suki," I explained with a grin.

Suki's eyes widened a bit and she looked from one of us to the other. "You… you are Kadona's children? The twins? Kira and Nanuk?"

Nanuk and I nodded.

Suki's expression became sad. "Kadona was visiting us, my family, when the raid occurred."

My eyebrows contracted and I was biting on my lower lip. "Well, anyway, it is great to see you again."

"You, too. You both look so good! Did you become rich or what?" she said smiling and I was glad that we could simply continue with the conversation without having to talk about mum.

Nanuk shook his head. "Nah, we just lived with our uncle, who is rich. Now we're going to Ba Sing Se with our dad, since he is teaching there at the university."

"Oh, and what are you going to do there?" Suki asked curiously.

"Nanuk will intern with an architecture bureau and I will go to a school to pass the exam for the university," I told her, feeling a bit proud of us.

"Yeah, maybe we should continue walking. Dad's going to be worried," Nanuk said and we made it to him within a minute.

"I know that your mother always talked about where you were living and it always sounded like the best places on earth to me," Suki said. "An island gets boring pretty fast."

I nodded. "That's how our parents always felt anywhere. They were unable to settle down, that's why we kept moving."

"Nanuk! Kira!" dad shouted when he spotted us, as we were making our way to him. He was now the next in line.

"You have to be here, when we're getting our tickets! How did you just get to the end of the queue again?" he asked, looking confused.

Nanuk and I were looking at each other. That was such a classic dad.

Thinking about some artefact or long gone civilisation so much, that he didn't notice that his own children had gone off chasing after a thief.

"We saw Suki walking by," I quickly said. "Nanuk recognised her. She was living next to us, when we were living on Kyoshi."

Dad blinked at the girl in the soldier uniform, who looked confused, but simply bowed in greeting. "It is nice to see you again, Mr. Huang."

"Oh yes, of course," dad quickly said and bowed back. "My wife has visited you last year."

Suki looked down at her hands. "Yes. She was always really nice and she almost only talked about you three. My apologies for your loss."

Dad smiled a bit, still looking sad. "Thank you, Suki. Would you be so kind to give your parents my thanks that they had cared for my wife so well?"

Suki flinched a bit and looked startled, and I was frowning at dad.

"Kadona had always talked about how friendly they were and that she had felt like being part of the family with you," dad explained further and Suki relaxed visibly.

Dad had totally not noticed our discomfort.

"You can chat later, mister! Other people want their tickets, too. Now passports!" the woman behind the counter snapped at dad, who flinched slightly and turned around to look at her.

"My apologies," he said and showed her our passports.

"Ooohhh, are you part of that family Huang?" the woman asked, looking amazed.

"Uh, well, I guess. If you're talking about my brother with the grain fields, that is," dad said and rubbed his neck.

"Haaahh, yes, I was talking about Aiguo Huang. Well, here are your tickets." She handed the passports and tickets back to dad.

He gave her our animals' passports. "We need tickets for these two, too."

The woman frowned at our ostrich horses and I could see in her face that she hated animals.

I immediately decided that I didn't like her.

While dad was getting information about the rules of animal transport, Suki poked me in my back to get my attention. Apparently, she had done the same thing to Nanuk, since he turned around, too.

"It was great to see you guys again, but I have to go back to work or even more thieves will get away without any of us noticing," she said with a smile.

"Oh. Yeah," Nanuk said grinning.

Suki gave each of us a hug and waved at us, before she turned around and made her way back through the crowd.

_**Zuko**_

When I woke up the next day I found it still very hard to believe that Jin had been so cool and azulaish in front of these would-be-robbers. While I was practising martial arts a bit, I wondered if I would see her again. And if I even wanted to see her again.

After an hour had passed I walked outside to wash myself. Our apartment had a sort of bathroom, but with modern technologies, such as pipes for water to take s shower, the Earth Kingdom still seemed to have its struggles.

After I got dressed, I walked out into the living room and run a hand through my hair.

Uncle was already busy in the kitchen, making breakfast.

I was really glad to see that he had only made a few rice balls, steamed vegetables and fish. Better than his rice porridge.

Sighing, I remembered Kilara's porridge with the chunks of moon peach ant he slightly hot flavour.

"Good morning, nephew!" uncle said smiling and put my plate on the table in front of me.

I looked up at him and nodded. "Morning," I murmured and sat down on the cushion.

A little morning light shone through the window behind uncle and cast his face in shadows. He hummed a song, which sounded familiar and I frowned, while I was staring at the food.

Hm hm m-hm. Mh-hm hm-hm. Mh-hm hm hm hm-hm-hm, hm-hm-hm hm-hm.

I looked up quickly, as I recognised the song. _Leaves from the Vine_. I couldn't remember the whole lyrics, but I knew that it started like that. It had been Lu Ten's favourite song. He has sang it and hummed it very often, sometimes so often that I had become so annoyed with it that I had yelled at him to stop. Lu Ten had only laughed and sung something else.

Thinking of my cousin, I remembered that his birthday had been two days ago. I bit down on my lower lip and felt guilty that I hadn't remembered it before. I could have made something to celebrate his life. I'm sure it would have made Uncle happy, although he would have probably hugged me.

I ate my breakfast in silence, not daring to look Uncle who didn't seemed to notice my discomfort. Probably because I never talked, when I was eating.

"So, nephew. Do you plan seeing Jin again?" he asked with his chopsticks pointing in my direction and winked. He really winked.

I grimaced and backed away, because of that question. Not because of Jin herself, but I couldn't stand such personal questions. "Uncle! Would you stop it?"

He chuckled to himself and I got up quickly, groaning and putting on my shoes in front of the door.

"I'll open the shop today. You can come later," I said, walked outside and slammed the door behind me.

I ran down the stairs and stomped down the street.

"Nephew!" I heard him and flinched, but turned around slowly.

He was standing at the window. "I'll bring you lunch later then!" he shouted so that every living being with a functioning ear in the whole street could hear it.

Blood heated up my face, as I nodded and walked away as fast and stiffly as possible.

I walked a few houses further than the tea shop was and knocked at Pao's door.

After a few seconds he opened it and beamed, as if this day would be the best day ever. But when he saw me his smile became smaller. "Lee! What a surprise! So you're opening the shop then?"

I nodded and stared at him, waiting.

"Well, here's the key," he said, handing it to me. "I'll be there in an hour."

I nodded again and walked back to the shop.

There wasn't much to do in the morning, other than writing signs with special types of tea or which teas were on offer. We always cleaned the shop in the evening, so after writing the signs, hanging them outside and watering the plants there wasn't much to do for me.

After I glanced around a bit and didn't see anyone or anything suspicious, I moved into the middle of the room and practised a kata without actual firebending.

I went through it quickly, but without any sloppy movements. Almost at the end, and only standing on one foot, I lost my balance when the door suddenly opened. It was certainly too early for Pao to arrive, I thought, while falling on the floor.

I landed on my back, my head pointing towards the door, so that I saw the intruder upside down.

"Hey! Are you okay? Sorry I startled you!" Jin said and bent down to look at me.

I blinked and saw that she was smiling. I quickly got up and brushed off my clothes, before running a hand through my hair. "It's okay, really. I just didn't think that someone would come here this early."

Jin smiled and shrugged. "I've got to go to work early today, so I thought I'd see if you were here before."

Part of me was actually glad that she wanted to see me again.

"Were you just practising? I saw you standing on one foot!" she said, pointing at me almost accusingly.

"What?" Shocked, I tried to look innocent, but my voice sounded way too high.

"For the circus. You know, since it has been some time since you last practised."

"Uh yeah, I was practising," I confirmed and didn't even lie.

Jin was wearing two braids again and was tugging at one. "Uh, Lee, listen. I wanted to apologise for what happened last night. I clearly didn't read you well and I'm sorry if I caused you any discomfort yesterday." She looked down at her feet and I wondered how she could be so normal now, when I had seen her acting very azulaish last night.

My eyes still widened at her apology and I shook my head. "No, you really don't have to apologise. It was nice last night and I actually did enjoy myself. So, thank you for that. But I… I told you it is complicated, and until I don't solve these problems, I cannot really…" I let my head hang down and pinched the bridge of my nose, taking a deep breath. "I cannot move on," I said and lifted my head, looking into her big eyes again. "In many different ways."

Jin's eyes narrowed a bit in a sad and soft expression on her face. "Alright. Just tell me if you need anything," she said, took my left hand in her right and pressed a quick kiss on my right cheek.

I blinked, too stunned to draw back.

She smiled at me and let my hand go. "Take care, Lee. I'm going to come by a few times to see how you're doing. And let me now, if you're ready to move on." With one last smile she turned around and left the shop.

I was still standing on the same spot, looking at the door, as if she had just left. Frowning, I realised that my heart was beating fast. With a low growl in my throat I made my way back to the kitchen and prepared to boil some water.

I was glad somehow that Jin had showed up and that I had given her a better explanation than just "It's complicated", but I wasn't sure that if I would ever be able to move on it would be with her.

My thoughts drifted to another girl I had met and how nice it had been to talk to her more openly. I frowned at the water in the tea pot in front of me, until it began to boil.

_**Kilara**_

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Nanuk asked me, looking slightly worried.

I grimaced a bit, since I really wasn't feeling comfortable with this. The way the secretary had looked at me on the day of my registration still haunted my thoughts. He had clearly not been used to girls wanting to pass the exam for the UMDB, the University Maturity Degree of Ba Sing Se.

But I still wanted this. I would show these boys and men that girls were just as smart as them.

So I nodded. "Yes. I'm nervous, Nanuk," I confessed. "But I still want this."

My brother grasped my hand and squeezed it tightly. "You can do this. Kira, you're incredibly smart and you're gonna kick their butts."

Dad looked at us with a confused look.

Nanuk smiled innocently at him. "Not literally."

I chuckled and was thankful for his words.

Dad came to stand on my other side. "You know which is the right room, Kira?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Second floor, west wing, room 204," I rattled off, having learned it by heart, since I had read the letter for at least twenty times.

"And you don't want us to come with you?" Nanuk asked again.

I swallowed and pressed my bag tighter to my chest, looking up at the building. Since I would only take a course to get my UMDB I didn't go into the building of the university today. Only after a year I could pass the exam and go to the university.

The UMDB course was to be attended in the school district of the middle ring. It was composed of several different buildings which all were schools for children in different age groups or with different interests. The school district was actually next to the university, but since the university didn't have any high buildings, I couldn't see it yet.

This school building looked like most of the houses here did. The walls were white and the roof had a dark green colour. The door was simply made of wood without any embellishments or carvings.

"Yes, I'm sure." I glanced around to have a better look at all the other people who would go in that building. "Uh, you can go now," I said and braced myself to climb the stairs up to the door.

But Nanuk didn't let go off my hand and dad not off my shoulder.

I narrowed my eyes at them. "I have to go now or I'll be late."

They pulled me into a hug which would have been nice, but being the only girl in my course was terrible enough. I didn't need my father and brother to embarrass me on my first day.

"Let go off me," I growled and freed myself. I still glared at them, but held my chin up high, trying to look unmoved and dignified. "Don't come back, when I'm finished for today. I know the way to the house. And Nanuk, good luck with the internship."

With that I turned around and climbed the stairs determinedly. I had acted tough just now, but the urge to turn around and look at them was strong, and I wanted to hear them saying again that everything was going to be fine.

But I had to go through this alone and if I couldn't even climb the stairs without them, how could I believe to make it through the class?

I walked through the big massive doors which were open, fortunately. The floor of the hall behind was covered in white and different shades of brown tiles, forming large triangles in the middle of the room which were forming one quarter. I was really surprised to see that the hall was round and the walls were covered with paint, showing simple patterns or detailed scenes of the history of Ba Sing Se. The roof showed one big Earth Kingdom insignia.

I would have turned around myself just to stare, but I only had five minutes left, so I was quickly looking for signage to room 204. I went upstairs onto the second floor and looked around for other signs showing me where the room was.

At the end of a hall a few people had gathered, some were talking, others just stood there, but most of them were silently reading in books or scrolls.

I figured they were standing in front of room 204 and probably waiting for the teacher. Taking a deep breath I cautiously made my way towards them.

I was relieved that I had chosen to put on some make-up today, because I wanted to look older. I didn't feel disguised with it, only a bit safer.

When I moved closer, I noticed that there were not any other girls or people younger than me. Oh moon! There were only boys and men, all looking between sixteen and twenty-five years old.

One of them noticed me and nudged his conversation partner into his ribs. It was just as with dominos. One fell and all fell. One looked at me and all looked at me.

I didn't stop and walked closer, until I was standing right in front of them.

They were nine and some were blinking, others stared at me with an open mouth.

A particularly tall and lean boy who was wearing glasses scoffed amusedly and shook his head. "Are you lost or something, girl?"

I put every inch of willpower into my facial expression, so that I would not look scared, but cool and determined. My eyes moved to him and I narrowed them slightly to help my face not to screw this act up. "No, I'm not. Are you?"

He frowned in confusion and irritation and opened his mouth. "No, of course not. But this here is the class for the University Maturity Degree of Ba Sing Se. Surely, you are not registered for such?"

I tried not to notice the others who were still gaping at me. "As a matter of fact, I am," I said coolly and folded my arms. "Why are you all standing here? Is the door locked?"

They all nodded, as if no one dared to speak.

My tough act was tiring, but I wasn't here to make any friends. I certainly would love to make friends, but first they needed to understand that I was not some doll who wanted to marry the best looking and richest guy she knew, but that I meant business.

So I sighed. "Alright," I said and leaned against the wall.

When they didn't stop staring, I narrowed my eyes at them again. "What? Do I have tooth paste in the corner of my mouth?"

They all shook their heads and looked at each other questioningly.

Wow.

How does one get a bunch of students to be quiet? Put a girl in their mid.

A boy with light brown hair and greyish green eyes stepped forward. His hands were folded in front of him, but he fidgeted a little. "Uh, it's just that, and I think I'm speaking for all of us, that we've never seen a girl leaning against a wall."

I blinked at him and my mind went totally blank when all of them nodded.

And then I really couldn't help myself and laughed. It was a hysterical "are-you-kidding-me"-laugh that stopped the moment I noticed a person walking towards us.

A man in simple green robes with a grey beard and a long grey braid and a stern expression was approaching us in a fast pace. Hid hands were behind his back and he was eying us somehow arrogantly.

"My name is Professor Chiu," he said and didn't stop while talking.

The boys all cleared his way to the door, and he kept talking while he was opening it.

"This class will prepare you for the UMDB exam, which will be held in spring next year." The door was open and he walked into the classroom, all of us following him.

I was looking around, noticed that the windows were on the north side which meant a lot of sun during summer and no sun during winter. The boys started to get seated and I was looking for a table in the front row next to the window.

"Until then you should all be able to express yourself in scientific language. You will be able to interpret, analyse and find a conclusion about everything. This course here is for social sciences."

I arrived at my table at the same time as the tall boy from earlier. He frowned at me, and I noticed that he was too stubborn to let me have the table. But I would not be defeated already on my first day. So I put my hand on the plate let my bag fall on top of it.

He grimaced angrily at me, but I just smiled. "Thank you. It is nice of you letting me have this table."

Now everyone was looking at us and he glanced around. Then he swallowed and murmured "You're welcome", before turning around to find himself another place.

Ah, a small victory.

"You'll need everything from this course, once you are a registered student of the university. The social sciences are one of the broadest fields and certainly complex as they are. If you want to pass the exam, you have to remember this. Open your mind and let all the possibilities in. Do not just concentrate on history or politics, think about sociology and geography and demography!"

I quickly pulled all my writing material out of my bag and put it on my desk, ready to take notes.


	7. Chapter 7

_Hey, I'm so sorry for updating late, but my computer had some update problems for over a day, so I couldn't even write, and then I didn't have any time at the weekend, so I just finished this new chapter now. _

_Also many many thanks to the people who left a review! You are the coolest. It is so great to read how much you like the story. Reviews are keeping a fanfiction writer writing, and I enjoy writing the story even more because of you guys! _

_I might not be able to post the next chapter this week or the next one, since I'm going on holiday, but I'll try to write every time I will not be sitting in the sun or swimming in the ocean! _

_Also: I do not own Avatar The last Airbender, nor its characters. I only own my OCs. _

_Hope you enjoy the next chapter!_

* * *

**Chapter Seven **

**Idiots, Animal Abuse and a Stupid Brother**

_**Kilara**_

The school building had a system of ringing bells which would ring four times in the morning and one time at noon. The ringing announced the beginning and the end of the breaks. Professor Chiu clearly hated them, but he had to go with them.

I was not the only one in class who wasn't an adult yet. The boy sitting next to me was actually younger than me, since he had turned fifteen only three months ago. He was pretty good natured and started to talk to me immediately after Professor Chiu had announced the first break.

I already felt exhausted at all this dry formal stuff he had told us we needed to learn.

Denzai, the boy next to me, seemed to feel the same way. He breathed out a lot of air, after Chiu was done and smiled relieved.

"So which social sciences do you want to study?" he asked me smiling brightly.

I was pretty sure that he wasn't one of these dumbheads who seemed to be still thunderstruck at the prospect of having a girl in their class.

"History and politics," I said.

Denzai shaped his mouth into an o. "Wow. You're pretty ambitious, aren't you?"

I shrugged. "Yes. I just think that this makes sense."

Denzai nodded. "Of course it does. Well, I want to study geography. I'm going to investigate the climate zones and weather problems of the Earth Kingdom. This will be so amazing!"

I just had to smile at his excitement. "Sure it will."

But I was still thinking about the war and I flinched, when I remembered that I couldn't speak about it in here. Anywhere within the outer walls, actually. I wondered if Denzai knew anything about the war.

"What about the rest of the world? Don't you want to research the arctic climate or the tropical climate of the Fire Nation?" I asked in a curious tone.

Denzai frowned. "Well, of course I want to, but the university doesn't offer this subject. It's just Earth Kingdom geography. Once I will leave Ba Sing Se, I'm going to look for another university where I can study more. Maybe at Omashu. I heard it was a really nice city."

Not anymore.

I shrugged. "I don't know. I've never been there. But Gaoling has a rather nice university, too. It's not that big, but still okay." And Gaoling was not occupied by the Fire Nation.

"Have you been there?" he asked with an exciting sparkle in his eyes.

"Yes. I lived there for four years," I said.

"Really? That is amazing. I'd never left Ba Sing Se before. Where else have you been?"

"To Kyoshi Island and in a small village near the volcano Makapu. It's not very known."

"Oh, yeah. I really never heard about it," he said, but was still smiling softly. "And how long have you been living now in Ba Sing Se?" he asked.

I twisted my mouth and felt a bit self-conscious. "For three days."

Denzai gaped at me with his mouth wide open. "And you didn't want to… erm… well, see if there's anything else in the city you would like to do beside studying?"

I frowned at him and contorted my face, as if I would be thinking hard. "Er… actually… no."

The bells were ringing again and Professor Chiu continued with the lesson, confident that we would all just listen.

I had only sat here and listened to Chiu for two hours, but I already knew that he was a genius. He was combining all the subjects from social sciences by taking them through history.

Today, class ended at noon, how it would be like every Monday from now on. My schedule showed me that on Tuesdays and Thursdays I would have afternoon lessons. On the other days we had free time to participate in one of the many school clubs.

When Chiu ended class for today, I turned around to Denzai and leaned a bit in his direction. "Do you know what kind of school clubs they have here?" I asked him curiously and started packing my things as well.

"Oh yeah! We've got loads of them! There are science clubs, architecture clubs, engineering clubs, a debating society, a literature club, a poetry club and so on and so forth. There are practically clubs here for everyone!" he exclaimed and grinned, as if this fact would make him personally happier in his life. "Why? You want to join one?"

I shrugged. "I've been thinking about it."

Having packed, we stood up and walked out of the classroom.

"So what would you like to do?" he asked curiously.

I blushed deeply, since I hadn't thought that I would actually have to tell him. "Do you have a theatre group? Or a choir?"

That's when he beamed like the sun itself. "Yes, of course! I'm in both clubs! I can introduce you to everyone! Please say you'll join! That would be so awesome! We don't have many female actors and most of the time some boys need to play girls, too. That's not bad, but some do find it embarrassing. I don't, and we meet every Wednesday evening and Friday afternoon. You should definitely come! What do you like to play…?"

I reached out to touch his hand, because I feared that he would otherwise not stop talking.

"You're a bit of a blabbermouth, aren't you?" I asked, laughing in a friendly way, because I didn't mean it to be mean.

"Oh," he said sheepishly and tugged on his sleeves. "Yes, that can be. At least, some people were telling me that I could talk my head off. Like my mum…"

Covering my mouth, I chuckled a bit.

"Hey, you! Kara, Kura, whatever your name is!" one of the boys from my class called out to me.

I turned around and looked at him with an innocent, yet curious look. It was the tall boy who had talked to me in front of the locked classroom door.

His black hair was tied in a braid. This seemed to be the general style for boys and men in Ba Sing Se. Well, as long as the front part of his head wasn't shaved. I really hoped that Nanuk wouldn't ever do that.

The boy adjusted his glasses and glared at me.

Two other of my classmates were standing with him, having the same hairstyle as him, but both were smaller and not as lean as the one with the glasses was.

"What is it?" I asked, trying to sound neutral and not aggressive.

"I am Cheng. These are Fu and Shi. We were thinking and came to the conclusion that you should not stay in our class," he drawled in an arrogant way.

"Oh," I said in a surprised manner. "And what exactly makes you think that?"

Cheng folded his arms and smirked arrogantly. "If you have to ask, you're even dumber than I thought."

My brows twitched and I took a step toward him. "Listen, Cheng. If you got a problem with me, then I'd suggest you stay out of my way. I don't want any trouble and certainly you don't want it either."

Cheng raised his chin arrogantly and narrowed his eyes at me. "It's not that I got a problem. I just want you to spare the shame of not passing the exam. Because that's what is going to happen to you. Girls may be allowed here, but everyone knows that boys are more intelligent."

My jaw clenched tightly and I curled my hands into fists. I knew he just wanted to provoke me. He wanted me to snap and say or do something dumb which would get me expelled. But that was not going to happen.

I forced a smirk on my lips and made a nonchalant hand gesture. "If you say so, it clearly must be true. After all, you're a boy."

He frowned for a second and nodded. "That's right."

I shrugged, still smiling innocently. "Well then, I guess, I'll just have to strain myself and study more if I want to be compared to you."

Fu and Shi snorted and grinned at one another, before Cheng chuckled softly. "I think you misunderstand me. You won't ever be able to compare to us. You should just leave it."

Chuckling, I tugged a strand of hair behind my ear. Then I focused my gaze on him, my eyes narrowing slightly. "And I think you misunderstood me. I'm not going to leave this class to give up the chance to receive the UMDB. And you and your little friends won't be able to do anything about it." Before they could reply, I bowed to them. "I wish you a nice day and I hope we'll see each other tomorrow again."

Smirking at them, I turned around and saw Denzai standing in front of me, staring at me with an expression of wonder.

I grabbed his arm and urged him to walk forward. Although the temptation was huge, I didn't turn back to look at the three boys.

My heart was still beating incredibly fast, since I was still angry with these idiots! But anger didn't solve any problems and violence didn't either. Nevertheless I wished I could have let my anger out at them with fighting.

It was just so frustrating! In the Northern Water Tribe women weren't considered strong enough to fight and in the Earth Kingdom they weren't considered intelligent enough to study. What had given the men the right to think they were anyhow better than us?

If it were like this, then the Avatar would never be born a woman, right? But he was! He had been born a woman as often as he had been born a man!

When we had rounded a corner, I let go of Denzai's arm and growled out my frustration.

"That was amazing!" Denzai exclaimed, his hands moving fast around him. "How you had stayed so cool and calm, but still managed to provoke him! And then you were just so nice! Tell me, why had you been so nice? They were horrible to you! Such sexist idiots!"

My brows rose at his words and I shook my head. "I _am _angry, believe me. But they are not worth it. Moreover, I'm a very good fighter and if I had fought them, they all would need a hospital now!" I said with a shrug.

Denzai blinked at me and suddenly looked shy. "I didn't mean fighting. But you could have shouted or cried."

I pressed my lips firmly together. "I don't do such things on my fist day."

"Oh," he said, looking at the ground and moving one foot around. "You know they are very mean. Not to girls usually, but at school it was normal to have girls. None of them ever wanted to study, so Cheng and the others never had a problem with them. They are not so much into violence, though. They only try to be mean with their intellect."

I folded my arms and tapped my foot, thinking. "They didn't look like fighters." I inspected Denzai curiously. "Are you a fighter?"

His eyes widened in shock. "No, no, I'm not! That is awful! Using violence to get what one wants or to harm others! No, thanks, but I'll stay with the books."

I chuckled a bit. "Fighting is not only about violence. It's about body exercise and relaxing. And I have never attacked anyone. I only defend," I stated firmly.

Denzai twisted his mouth and blinked. "Yeah, but I still don't think that I'd like it."

I shrugged. "Anyway, I have to go home. In which direction do you have to go?"

Red colour spread on his cheeks and he beamed at me. "I have to go east. I live near the wall."

My mouth curled into a smile. "Me, too."

His grin became even wider. "Great. So… we'll walk home together then?"

I nodded smiling.

On our way home we discussed the lesson's content and the homework we had got today. We both already had understood that Chiu was pretty strict. He expected us to give everything, to spend all our time with studying. And I was determined to do so. I would not back down and I would not disappoint Professor Chiu or myself.

Cheng, Fu and Shi had just enforced my desire to pass the exam. I would show them.

OoO

"Hey, Kira, you got some time left?" asked Nanuk.

I turned around to see him leaning in my room's door. His arms were folded, his mouth twisted and one eyebrow was raised. It was his "hopeful-but I-don't-care-at-all"-face.

I bit my lip and closed my eyes.

In the last few weeks, I had barely had any time for my brother. I had been so busy with school, studying, and the drama club that Nanuk and I had not once had one of our bending matches. We didn't even talk a lot besides during the meals. I left early in the morning and when I came home I always shut myself in my room to study into the evening.

I loved learning, but I wasn't that crazy that I was happy not doing anything else the whole day. I truly missed the physical exercise and also just hanging around with Nanuk.

In Makapu Village we had laid often in the garden, when we had had nothing to do. Sometimes we had invented games to play or had just played cards.

Nanuk hadn't seemed bothered for the first few days, but when I hadn't had any time for him for more than two weeks, he had become annoyed and a bit angry with me. He felt neglected and I understood that.

I lifted my shoulders, as if to shield myself from his anger and sadness. "I'm sorry, Nanuk. But I have to finish this scroll until Monday. If I hurry, I could finish it by tomorrow."

Nanuk frowned, his eyes narrowed. "Yeah, whatever." He shrugged and turned around to leave.

"Nanuk!" I shouted. "Don't just…"

"What? It's okay." His lips curved into a smile and he rubbed his neck. "I know you have a lot to do. I just feel… lonely sometimes. With you studying, and dad being at the university all the time." He sighed.

My heart felt drowned by my brother's sadness, and I got up and hugged him. "I'm so sorry."

Nanuk drew back and laid his hands on my shoulders, smiling with his mouth, but not with his eyes. "No, I'm sorry. This is important to you, and I'm behaving like an idiot. I guess I just have to get used to it."

I shook my head. "I don't want you do that. I miss spending time with you, too."

Nanuk frowned. "Okay."

"Maybe you should try to make some friends?" I asked hesitantly.

My brother folded his arms and raised his eyebrows. "Hey, I already did make friends!"

"Oh yeah? Then why don't we ever get to see them?" I asked mockingly.

"Because I didn't want to make you sad, because you only found such nerdy friends and mine are pretty cool!"

"Really? That kind of sounds like an excuse…"

He cocked his head to the side. "No, no, no. It is not! You'll see!" He backed away and pointed a finger at me. "Yeah. I'm going to invite my friends over, and if you get some nerdiness complexes, don't even think about complaining!"

"Oh, come on. I'm sure your friends aren't that cool!" I said, rolling my eyes.

Nanuk's eyes widened in outrage. "Hah! Ha! No, you're so wrong! You'll see!" he said, walking away with a new goal.

I smiled, watching him going away.

Nanuk was right, though. It was great living with Dad, but he was not even here for most of the time. Holding lectures, working in his office, studying new books and scrolls… He had a lot to do and sometimes he wasn't even here for the meals. It had always been like this, but then we had still had our mother. Now there was only San, the cook. Dad had told her to care for us and look out for us, too. He had probably known all along that he wouldn't have a lot of time for us.

Professor Chiu had become even more expectant of us and the work became more and more. Learning about history, geography, demography and sociology apparently had to begin with reading about philosophers and their theories. Sometimes I liked it, but some of those guys really frustrated me.

Cheng, Fu and Shi always stared menacingly at me, and even though I craved to hit them in their arrogant faces, I always smiled and stayed friendly.

Professor Chiu had never shown any sign of sexism towards me. He treated me like any other student and had never pointed out that I was different from the others.

And I truly respected the professor for that.

_**Zuko**_

Yelling angrily, I threw my swords and mask on the ground.

I let myself fall down on my knees and pressed my palms to my face.

All this tension inside of me and uncle's expectances and my mission pressed so heavily down on me that I felt trapped. What could I do to get out? Moving forward, moving backward? What if I made the wrong decision?

What if this feeling wouldn't ever change no matter which path I'd take? What if this tension was just part of me? Wouldn't I ever feel whole again?

My hands ran down my face, covering my mouth while I panted.

My gaze fell on the bison.

It was still leaning back, holding a defending stance. It should look menacing, but I saw fear.

When I looked into its brown eyes, I was surprised not to find only fear but also confusion. A part of me noticed the weirdness about seeing confusion in an animal's eyes. But I still asked myself why it felt confused. I narrowed my eyes when I noticed that I could see myself in the bison's eyes. Its fear and confusion mirrored my own feelings. Except that its situation was even worse.

While I only felt trapped, the bison was imprisoned. Chains held him on the ground, cuffs around every leg. The ceiling of the cell was high, almost like a mockery. It was high enough to fly, but the chains prevented it from doing so.

My face contorted at this injustice. Such a magnificent creature treated like dirt.

It had always been so protective of the Avatar. It was an intelligent beast.

Even though I had wanted to kidnap it, I would have still treated it better.

I let out an angry snort and lit a fire in my right hand.

The bison roared fearfully and backed away, pulling at its chains.

I quickly snuffed out the fire since it was clearly afraid of it.

Before uncle or the bison could react, I grabbed my swords and dashed toward the bison. It was good that it leaned to the side, as far away from me as possible, so that the chains were taut. My swords cut easily through them with a loud clashing sound.

I moved quickly to the other side of the animal and cut through these chains, too.

Then I stopped, sheathed my swords and looked into the bison's eyes again.

It seemed even more confused now, while it was stretching its legs and moving its ears.

I tried not to move, so as not to scare it. I was still not sure, whether I was doing a smart thing here, but it was sure wrong to let the bison stay here. And Uncle was right. I had no place to put it in.

The big grey nose moved up and down, accompanied by a sniffing sound, as the bison stepped cautiously forward. My breathing stopped, as I waited for it to do something. It stepped closer, until there was barely any space between us. Its height shocked and amazed me at the same time. I wasn't even as tall as its head.

What was I doing there? I had hunted this animal's owner, and it had tried to hurt me to stop me from capturing the Avatar. How could I just stand there? It would attack me, of course. Bison might be vegetarian, but they were also highly loyal to their owners. It would not hesitate to bite me.

But I still couldn't move. I tried to stay calm, but my own thoughts made me tremble with fear. Nevertheless, I couldn't stop staring into the bison's brown eyes. They were so large like a child's head and so pure. No ambiguity and no double thoughts, no secrets were hidden in them. They were the most open eyes I've ever seen.

I stared at it with my own eyes wide open and stiffened, when its nose went to my face. I felt the air move around my face, as it sniffed and rumpled my hair. Pressing my lips together, I fought the urge to squeeze my eyes shut.

The next second something wet and warm was all over my face, leaving saliva smelling like hay on my skin.

I snorted in disgust and took a step backwards. I lifted my gloved hands to wipe my face, only to get another hay saliva shower.

"Stop it, will you?" I shouted and turned around to gather my mask.

The bison made a low rumble, which didn't sound aggressive at all, only answering.

Sighing I leaned my head back and stared up at the ceiling. There was a hole in it, but it only looked like a large air duct or it was simply there for the construction. I couldn't make out any light, so it didn't seem to be leading outside.

Pinching the bridge of my nose to prevent a headache, I turned around to Uncle. "Do you have any idea how to get it out of here?"

Uncle's nice facial features contorted into a scowl. "You are not going to get it out of here! I thought I made myself clear! You have no place to put him in!"

I growled lowly at his false accusation. "I don't want to stow it somewhere to lure the Avatar to it! But it shouldn't be staying here!"

The change on Uncle's face was immediate. Instead of looking like the fierce Dragon of the West, he now looked like a thoughtful teacher. Stroking his beard he hummed as if he would consider my question.

"So you want to free the Avatar's bison, Prince Zuko?" Uncle asked probing, his mouth twisted and one eyebrow raised, which always made one of his eyes look bigger than the other.

"Yes," I pressed through my teeth. Lately, I had come to hate Uncle using my official title. I was no prince anymore and it always hurt to be reminded of that.

Sighing Uncle walked around the cell and shook his head sadly. "I'm afraid there is no way to get him out, if you aren't an earthbender."

I frowned, but had an idea immediately. Determinedly I stared at Uncle and put my mask back on. "Stay here. I'll get us an earthbender."

Before he could say a word or tell me that my plan was too dangerous or simply idiotic, I left the cell cautiously through the door. There was no agent nearby, so no one saw me coming out of the cell. I unsheathed my swords and ran silently down a hallway.

I tried not to think too much about what I was doing, since it clearly went against everything I had ever believed or been taught in the Fire Nation. Thinking about the Fire Nation made my eyes burn with tears. Was I just about to give up my home?

Before my thoughts could turn anymore depressing, I spotted a Dai Li agent. I swung my right sword against the wall to make some noise. When he turned around I started running. I had no desire to be caught my these rock hands, but if I fought him here, I had to drag him all the way down to the bison's cell.

"Stop! In the name of the Earth Kingdom, stop!" the agent behind me shouted.

I heard the rock hands flying through the air and jumped onto one wall, on which the hands crumbled to small pieces of rock.

I knew the agent had more of these, so I tried to move as unpredictably as possible. Right now I was overly glad that I had kept training in Ba Sing Se, even if it had seemed as if I would never need to fight again.

I already saw the door to the bison's cell, when I felt a rock hand suddenly wrapping itself around my ankle. I felt a strong pull, as if really a person would hold me in place, and I fell flat on my face.

Quickly I rolled onto my back and hit the rock hand as powerfully with my sword as I could. With the other sword I defended myself against more rock hands. It was not easy to do two different things at the same time and I could already see myself getting caught, when the rock hand around my ankle finally broke. I wanted to leap up quickly, but the earth under me trembled and a column shot up, nearly trapping me under the ceiling. But I managed to jump off and with a somersault I landed on the ground, knees bent and swords in front of me.

Now that I was so close to the agent it would be extremely hard to continue to run. The bison's cell was still too many metres away and he'd probably catch me again if I turned my back on him. But this time I might not be able to free myself.

Of course, I had the luck to come upon an agent who was definitely a better bender than the one I had captured yesterday.

I was already beginning to think that I should just use my bending, but when the agent started to attack me again, I simply moved backwards, cutting through the rock hands and rocks with my swords. I tried not to stay too long on the ground to not get captured in an earth tent, which almost happened twice. Fortunately, I made my way back to the bison's cell this way rather quickly.

When I felt the metal door behind me, I had to dodge a rock and quickly slipped inside the cell, moving to the right. The Dai Li agent had seen me going right, so that was where he would turn, but I needed to attack him from behind.

Uncle came to my side and I lifted a finger to my mask's demonic grin. He nodded with a grim expression.

Once the earthbender stepped in, hands in front of him, ready to fight, Uncle bent a large fireball at him, which gave me time to step around the agent and to cross my swords under his neck.

The agent let his hands fall down and tensed in my grip.

The bison growled lowly which made the agent turn his head into its direction. He swallowed. "What do you want?"

Uncle smiled in a friendly manner at the agent. "Please, there is no need to worry. We only need your help. See, I'm afraid we cannot find an exit to this cell in which the bison would fit. We cannot get him out of here without an earthbender. If you would be so kind as to bend us an exit tunnel, we would be more than pleased."

I gritted my teeth to stop myself from snapping at Uncle. Why was he always so nice to his enemies?!

Sweat broke on my forehead, and I felt my hair clinging to my neck. It was very warm down here and my fight with the agent had clearly caused my blood to run faster.

"I-I… I cannot let you get away with the Avatar's bison!" the Dai Li agent exclaimed.

"Then I guess we cannot let you go," I hissed and intensified my grip on him. My swords cut slightly into his skin. "I'm afraid you won't be able to leave this cell either."

Uncle lifted a hand. "Not so fast. What do we do when we've got rid of him?"

I frowned at him, but shrugged. "Get another of those. One will break, just like the idiot I threatened yesterday."

The agent in my grip trembled a bit and took sharp breaths, but wasn't moving the slightest bit.

Uncle stroked his beard. "So you just want to kill all the Dai Li agents you find, until one of them will help us?"

No, no, no, no, no! I had never thought of murder!

A hit to the head. That was my style, but killing someone? The thought of it still made me want to puke.

But before I could answer Uncle's insulting question, the Dai Li agent began to plead. "Please, no! I'll bend an exit for it! Please, don't kill me! I've got family!"

"Thank you so much for your kind help!" Uncle exclaimed and clapped his hands.

I rolled my eyes.

"I'm really sorry, Mister Dai Li agent, but I'll have to search you for more rock hands before my friend here can let you go," Uncle said in his usual nice way and removed all rock hands he found in the agent's robes.

I tried not to think about how close I was to the agent and that my uncle touched him everywhere. The way the agent tensed told me that he, too, didn't want to think about it too much.

"Ah, I'm sure this was the last one! My goodness, you can stow away a hundred things in those robes. Maybe I should get me some of these, too," he murmured to himself.

Rolling my eyes, I slowly let the agent go and stepped back to give him space.

He took a few deep breaths and wringed his hands in a nervous manner. "I'll help you, because of my family and the lives of the other agents. Once the bison is free, I won't do anything else. Understood?"

"We wouldn't dream of asking you!" Uncle assured him and hid his hands in his sleeves.

The agent sighed and walked cautiously to the left.

I followed him closely. "One wrong move and you'll die!" I growled. Just because I didn't kill people didn't mean that I couldn't threaten them. After all, people didn't know I was bluffing.

The agent just nodded and then started to bend a tunnel into the wall. "Old man, can you make some light, please?" he asked.

"Who're you calling old man?" Uncle grumbled, but did make light for the agent.

Sighing I turned around to look at the bison. It still seemed to be very confused and clearly had its guard up. Taking off my mask I walked closer and sheathed my swords.

"To be honest, I never really liked having the bison imprisoned here," I heard the agent say, but tried to ignore Uncle's reply. By the time the bison would be outside, Uncle would probably have made a new friend.

Cautiously I extended a hand toward the bison, trying to get it to follow me.

It came closer until I was touching its nose. I blinked at this trust and wondered if this animal was even smarter than I'd thought.

"It's gonna be alright. I really don't know why I'm doing this, but you cannot stay here. Um, so come on. Follow me!" I moved backwards, my hand still reaching for it and urging it to follow me.

It did walk closer, but in front of the tunnel it stopped and growled. I immediately stopped, too, and tensed a bit. The bison narrowed its eyes at the tunnel and I thought I understood.

Firebenders normally don't like rain or swimming, so maybe flying bison didn't like to be under ground, away from the sky.

I pinched the bridge of my nose, wishing I could take care of the agent and let Uncle do this empathy and patience stuff with the animal. Sighing I held my hands up in, I hoped, a calming way.

"Shh, that's just a tunnel. You don't like it, I get that, but you're already underground. This is not worse. And if you follow me, you'll see the Avatar again, okay? We are getting you out of here. You'll see the sky, feel fresh air and see the Avatar," I said soothingly.

The bison snorted and I had the feeling it was undecided.

"You'll probably get better food and there are those other kids, too. And the lemur! Come on. You always want to protect the Avatar!" Frowning, I searched my memories for… ah, yes! "Aang! I mean Aang, the Avatar! Come on, don't you want to see Aang?"

The bison growled again, looking to the side and then, in a way that almost seemed disgusted, entered the tunnel.

"That's right. That is a good bison." Talking so calmly to and trying to comfort this creature wasn't that unfamiliar to me. I had treated my komodo rhino just like this, before Zhao had taken it away and the ostrich horse Cuddly had demanded to be treated like this.

Sighing I moved to walk beside the bison's head and lifted a hand to run it through its fur. It was very matted and sticky, but I absentmindedly began to stroke it, while we kept walking, occasionally the loud rumble of earthbending the tunnel was heard.

Uncle asked the agent many dumb personal questions and their chatter seemed to be pretty comfortable, as if we hadn't just threatened him.

"Oh," the agent exclaimed alarmingly.

Unsheathing my swords I stepped in front of the bison. "What is it?"

The agent rubbed his neck. "I think I bent the tunnel to the island."

Uncle blinked in confusion, which didn't do anything to calm me.

"What does this mean?" I snarled, already feeling adrenaline rushing through my veins, readying me for a fight.

The agent held his hands up, palms turned forward. "Easy there. I cannot feel the whole underground. There is an island in Lake Laogai and I bent the tunnel right into it. We have to walk back a few metres and I'll close the tunnel again. Then I'll open a way to the island. That way, the bison will be free."

"Fine."

"Thank you very much, Ran Sho," Uncle said smiling.

The agent had told Uncle his name?!

The bison didn't seem delighted at the thought to walk backwards and when I tried to talk it into it, it still didn't move.

"I'm sorry you've been through all that, but I'm doing this against everything I believe in, so just appreciate it and get your big butt off the ground and let's go!" I shouted, pushing against its face. But gently.

A warm gust of air met my face and the bison finally began to walk backward.

"Thank you! See, it's not that hard, is it?"

The bison's glare seemed to be the bison equivalent to "Shut up!".

I folded my arms and twisted my mouth in annoyance.

"Are you friends of the Avatar?" the Dai Li agent asked curiously.

I spun on my heel, pointing one sword in his direction. "That's none of your business!"

He frowned angrily at me and Uncle shot me a "let-me-handle-this"-glance.

Fine, I thought and turned around to encourage the bison to walk further backwards.

"Well, we have met a few times, but unfortunately we didn't have the time to become friends," he explained. "The bison is just such a magnificent creature. It is made for the skies and the wind. Keeping him locked down here is animal abuse, if you'd ask me."

"So you're not doing this for the Avatar? He had jeopardised the safety of our city a few times now. Keeping the bison should keep him in check."

Hm, the Dai Li had thought around similar lines as I had.

After another few metres, the Dai Li agent said that we had brought enough distance between us and the island before he tore the tunnel down that he had created just a few minutes ago.

Now he turned slightly to the right and bent the earth to form a new tunnel which moved slightly upwards.

The Avatar's bison seemed almost delighted at the prospect to move upwards. Its steps were longer now, more energetic.

If I didn't have to fight my approaching headache, I would have found it amusing.

The Dai Li agent just told uncle how he had even become part of the Dai Li, when he bent the last bit of earth out of the way, and blazing sunlight greeted us to the surface.

A low grumble was the only warning we got. I was walking on the bison's side, so it wasn't so bad, but Uncle and the agent had barely time to press their backs to the walls of the tunnel, when the bison dashed forward and exited the tunnel with an excited rumble.

I followed it quickly and narrowed my eyes against the light. Stepping out of the tunnel felt like stepping out of the lake itself, since I was standing on the shore of the island. The island was small, but some trees did grow here. The bison was lying on its back and tossed about on the earth.

Feeling surprised, I blinked a few times. I had thought that it would take off into the sky as fast as possible, but seeing it like this, just feeling great and good enough to toss about like a happy deerdog, gave me an odd feeling of warmth.

A little, white flying creature swooped down and landed on the bison's stomach. It chittered loudly and ran over its belly and chest in an alarming way.

Recognising the Avatar's lemur I looked around, searching for the bald kid.

But only Uncle and the agent were standing behind me. When I noticed that there was no way to get from here to the shore I groaned. "We have to go down there again, don't we?"

Uncle nodded. "I'm afraid it is quite so, nephew."

The agent rolled his eyes, which got him a glare from me.

Suddenly I heard some commotion going on the other side of the water. I turned around and saw people running out of an entrance to an underground tunnel. They ran along the beach, and the Avatar's lemur took off quickly into the air, flying toward them.

Narrowing my eyes I thought I could make out the Avatar in his orange and yellow clothes, but any thoughts of capturing him disappeared, when I heard the low rumble behind me.

The bison walked closer and licked my face again.

"Yeah, yeah, you're welcome," I murmured and patted its head, before it beat with its tail and leapt into the sky.

I watched it fly toward the shore and noticed that the bison would probably try to attack the Dai Li agents there, so I quickly turned around to face Uncle and Ran Sho.

"We should get going."

Fortunately, Ran Sho wasn't as intelligent as his bending skills were good, so he didn't notice anything. Uncle tugged him with him down the tunnel and I followed at a small distance.

My headache grew even worse, when the sun disappeared behind a wall of earth again and I tried to make small breathing exercises to feel my inner fire.

But the pain became more and more insistent, sharp as if someone would bore a hole into my head. Maybe letting the bison go hadn't been the right decision after all. Did I miss my last chance? My future as Crown Prince and Fire Lord, had I just been the reason to lose it all? Had my empathy for this animal prevented me from capturing the Avatar or was Uncle right? Or was father right for calling me a weak coward?

Gritting my teeth I fought against the stream of thoughts, feelings and pain, while I concentrated on taking one step in front of the other.

_**Kilara**_

The time moved forward and summer was nearly there. The trees all lost their blossoms and got their leaves. All the spring flowers withered and summer flowers started to grow. The sun became more powerful and the air felt warmer every day.

It was great. Never in my life had I felt such a heat, and when I wasn't studying I was lying in our garden and simply relaxed while feeling the sun burning on my skin.

Nanuk took it differently. He hated the heat and complained that all the stones and rocks of the city attracted the heat even more.

We started to keep the shutters and all curtains closed during the day. Our neighbours found that funny, since it wasn't even hot in their opinion yet.

The warm days made me feel lazy and dizzy sometimes, so in order to study I always needed a cold drink to keep my head clear. Nanuk and dad began to ask for my freezing hands all the time.

When Denzai visited me, so that we could study I showed him my trick and he found it amazing.

Unfortunately, we had been sitting with our scrolls in the garden, where Nanuk and his friends saw us. My brother had been right. He had made friends and they were pretty cool.

Of course, I also found Denzai cool, but when Nanuk and his friends interrupted us because of their want to have cool drinks, Denzai looked half afraid and half admiring.

Nanuk's friends were a bit older than us, and despite the fact that they came from wealthy families and even attended court sometimes, they were pretty relaxed and very friendly.

"Kilara, I'm dying! Please help me!" the tallest of them cried out. He thought he was funny, and Nanuk tried to make the same jokes. It was embarrassing. But at least my brother had found a role model now. His name was Yao.

He held a glass of water in my direction, begging me with his eyes to freeze it for him.

That got me an idea.

Biting on my lower lip I turned around to look questioningly at Denzai. "What do you think? Should we take a break?"

He shrugged and smiled shyly. "Maybe yes."

"Alright," I said nodding and got up.

Yao grabbed my arm. "Does that mean you'll save me?"

"No, I've got a better idea. Let's go into the kitchen." Smiling to myself I lead them into the kitchen and got all of us a glass in which I poured some mango juice. Then I put a little spoon inside of the glass and froze the mango juice. I grabbed the spoon and pulled the frozen juice out of the glass, and held it out for Yao. "Isn't that much better than frozen water?"

He licked at his frozen mango juice and groaned. "This is amazing! Waterbending is so cool!"

I had to chuckle at that. "Yeah, literally." Still smiling I thought to myself that I needed to remember that one.

After I made ices for everyone, we all sat down together and ate. Denzai was very quiet, while Nanuk and his friends were talking a lot about the architecture bureau. The internship brought them a lot of insight about architecture, but mostly they all just did the jobs nobody else wanted to do.

When Denzai and I were finished, I suggested we'd go outside again to continue our homework, which made him smile. I could feel that he liked my brother and his friends, but that he didn't feel comfortable around them due to their extrovert personalities. Well, Peizhi was a bit calmer than Rong, Yao and Nanuk, but together they were extremely loud and I would totally understand it if someone would say annoying.

Nanuk frowned disappointedly. "You still have so much to do? We wanted to check out this new tea shop."

I raised an eyebrow. "You're all complaining about the heat, but you still want to drink some tea?"

Nanuk shrugged. "Tea can be refreshing sometimes. Besides, everyone is going."

Rong nodded. "Yeah, Quon had discovered this tea making genius in the lower ring. He advertised his tea all over the upper ring for days now! Today's the grand opening. Everyone I know will go. After all the people of Ba Sing Se love good tea."

Narrowing my eyes I folded my arms. "Well, everyone who likes tea loves good tea. Not just people from a specific geographical area."

Rong looked slightly embarrassed and Nanuk rolled his eyes.

"Either way, we're going," Yao said, standing. "It would be great if you'd come, Kilara, since the tea is supposed to be really good."

I rolled my eyes. "It can't be that good. Besides, I've got things to do with _Denzai_." I put extra emphasis to his name, since I had not missed Yao leaving it out.

Yao shrugged. "Fine. So, we're going?" he asked and looked around at his friends.

Nanuk nodded and stood. "Maybe we can go there tomorrow, Kira."

I shrugged. "Depends on my amount of work."

"Okay, what's that?" Rong suddenly blurted out. He had his face twisted in a desperate way. "I don't get it! Is your name Kilara or Kira? Nanuk told us it was Kilara, so that's what we're calling you, but he always says Kira!"

I pressed my lips together in order not to laugh. "You already grasped it pretty much. My name is Kilara, but Nanuk calls me Kira. And anyone else in my family, too."

"Aaahhh." Rong smiled. "I'm glad that we discussed that."

I frowned, since there hadn't been discussed anything, but I already had noticed that Rong was a bit strange. He was very dramatic and loud and could be desperate and enthusiastic about everything.

They left the kitchen, chattering loudly and talking about girls they hoped to see in the tea shop.

I contorted my face in disgust and got a laugh from Denzai.

We worked for over two hours on a scroll and the exercises Professor Chiu had given us, until it was late afternoon.

Denzai didn't live far from us, so he simply walked home.

I was really relieved to know that I had finished my whole lot of work for today and went to Nanuk's room. Without knocking I simply opened the door and found him lying in his bed, looking at a painting in his hand.

"What are you doing?" I asked and sat next to him on the bed.

"Nothing!" he shouted and quickly hid the painting under his blanket.

I frowned and nodded sarcastically. "Suuuure. Whatever, how was the tea shop?"

"So you did want to go!" he accused me.

"Did not!"

"Did, too!"

"Okay, fine. I just still had all this work to do, and your friends are not really nice to Denzai, so I didn't want him to stay with them any longer."

Nanuk rolled his eyes. "They are not mean to him, but he just doesn't talk!"

"Peizhi doesn't talk either! And what's that kind of argument? Just tell me how the tea shop was!" I demanded and put my feet under my butt.

Nanuk tapped his chin. "Nah, we're just going there tomorrow, and you'll see for yourself!"

I didn't really want to know what the tea shop was like, but I didn't like it when Nanuk didn't want to tell me something. So I pouted for a few seconds and then attacked him with my tickling hands.

"No, no, Kira! Stop! Stop it! Come on, that's not fair! N-n-… haa, no! S-stop! S-seriouslyyy… hahaha. Kira, please! H-h-have mercy!"

"You're gonna tell me then?"

"Yeah! Yeah, I'll tell you!"

Smiling self-confidently I released him. "Why didn't you say that at the beginning?"

Nanuk took a few deep breaths to calm himself and sighed. "The tea shop is called the jasmine dragon. Stupid name, if you ask me. What do dragons have to do with tea?"

I raised my eyebrows and pressed my lips together. Why should I know?

"Anyhow, the tea is really good. It is better than any tea I've ever drunk, and I only had green tea. Nothing fancy about that, right? Well, the whole shop is not really fancy. The types of tea they have there are only the classic ones. But they serve small cookies with the tea, that's really good. The owner of the shop is also really nice. There is something wise, but still funny about him. He told us that there was a group of girls sitting behind us, looking at us all the time. And then Yao and I went over and invited them to our table. The staff is pretty much okay, everyone was friendly, although there was a boy who looked scary at first." Nanuk sat up straighter and bent his knees. "He has that huge burn scar on his face which makes him look as if he has got two faces. One, nice and normal and the other, evil and angry."

I tensed up completely and stared at Nanuk in disbelief. Was that…

"Did you get his name?"

"Lee. He's apparently the owner's nephew. That's also the only reason he's working there. He mixed up everyone's order," he complained.

Lee! Oh oceans! This was probably Prince Zuko!

Different feelings were raging inside of me all at once at the thought of Fire Nation nobility in Ba Sing Se.

I was kind of happy knowing where he was, that he was apparently fine, and (seriously?) having a job as a tea server. General Iroh's love for tea must be grand! I also wanted to see the prince again, ask him how he'd been, how he was feeling now and just talk to him. But on the other hand, it was pretty much scary how easily the Fire Nation could sneak into the last stronghold of the Earth Kingdom.

If Prince Zuko and his uncle were still on the run and hiding themselves, then it would probably be okay, but what if Princess Azula had tracked them here and would try to sneak into the city, too?

Somehow I managed to hear what Nanuk's next words were.

"And then the girls Yao and I had invited to our table started flirting with _him_! Despite that ugly scar, and…"

Before I could hinder myself, I jumped into my brother's face. "His scar is not ugly!"

Nanuk's eyes got wide, and mine even wider, and then I started blushing, and Nanuk's eyes got that spark, and then I just knew that from now on my life would be hell.

But before Nanuk had the chance to even say anything, I jumped off his bed and headed for the door.

Which my stupid brother blocked with earthbending.

Snarling I spun around. "Let me out!"

Nanuk leaned against the wall, hands behind his head. "I'm sorry, sis, but no can do."

Groaning in a frustrated manner I sat down on the floor, crossing legs and arms. "Fine, okay. Just begin with your stupid comments."

Frowning Nanuk leaned forward. "It's no fun when you're telling me what to do."

"Then let me out!"

"No! Don't distract me. You know Lee?"

I shoved forward my lower lip and narrowed my eyes at my brother.

"Oh, don't you look cute? Like a pouting kitten," he cooed and laid his fingers on his cheeks.

Narrowing my eyes even more I nodded.

Nanuk shifted to the bed's edge. "Where do you know him from?"

Like I was going to telling him. "That was never-gonna-tell-you days ago in none-of-your-business-town!"

Nanuk's eyes narrowed and I smirked smugly. Yeah, that had been a good one.

Then I stood up and brushed some non-existent dust off my clothes. "If you'd excuse me now I've got something more important to do."

"Like going to the Jasmine Dragon and see Lee?" Nanuk asked grinning. "Do you even know where to go?"

I did not. But I shrugged indefinitely and snorted. "I'm just going to ask at the wall. They'll know."

"And how are you going to get into the upper ring? I only got in, because of Yao and Peizhi. They live there."

I opened my mouth, but didn't come up with any ideas. Then I suddenly smiled. "Couldn't you bend me a tunnel?"

Nanuk's jaw nearly crashed to the floor. "What?" he shrieked. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, noooo! No way! I won't get myself arrested, so that you can see some… Wait, what is he to you? Are you friends? Do you have a crush on him? Does he have a crush on you?"

Fighting the blush on my cheeks I rolled my eyes. "Maybe friends. I've only met him twice."

Nanuk rubbed his neck. "Then why do you want to see him now? You could just go there tomorrow."  
Twisting my mouth I knew he was right, but how on earth was I going to fall asleep tonight, knowing Prince Zuko's current location?

"But I'm done with homework, and since we've got a cook, I don't have chores to do, and there are still two hours till dinner is ready!" I whined.

"You could spend these two hours with the one person you love more than anyone else in the world!" Nanuk suggested, spreading his arms in a hugging manner.

I rolled my eyes. "Dad's still got work to do."

Nanuk stuck out his tongue at me and pouted. "Okay, fine. Make fun of me all you like, but I will not get you into the upper ring today!"

"Fine!" I snapped and turned around. "Nanuk! Would you, please?"

The rock disappeared back into the ground and I opened the door, slamming it behind me as powerfully as I could to vent my anger.

"Hey! The door's innocent!"

Snorting I quickly went to dad's office and knocked.

"Hm?"

Opening the door, I started talking. "I'm at Denzai's. Forgot one exercise. I might not be home for dinner. See you!"

I closed the door, and turned around to leave as quickly as I could. Still walking at a normal pace I made my way to Denzai's and knocked on the door.

A servant opened, and I flashed him my most brilliant smile. "Hi! Could I see Denzai, please?"

The servant bowed smiling. "One moment please, Miss Kilara."

I started ringing my hands and tapping my foot nervously, until Denzai came to the door. He smiled. "Hello, Kilara." He frowned at my obvious nervousness. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes! No! I mean, I need your help!" I grabbed his shoulders and stared deeply into his eyes. "Your father attends court, right?"

"Yeah…?" His eyes moved around in a nervous way and he bit on his lower lip, while leaning a little bit back from me.

"Do you have a ticket or a passport or a certificate – I don't even know what one needs – to get into the upper ring?"

* * *

_Yes, it ends here! Muhaha! _

_Did anyone hope Kira would get to see Zuko in this chapter? Well, I certainly did, but then the chapter became longer and longer, so I decided to end it here. _

_But there will always be the next chapter, which will be posted as soon as I wrote it! I hope you liked this one! _

_Until next time and please review! (I'm especially curious to know what you think about how Zuko got Appa out of Lake Laogai. It was also no mistake that Iroh did refer to Appa as a him, while Zuko still thought about him as an it. Iroh is really perceptive and would have noticed the difference, but Zuko would not have any clue, whether Appa is a girl or a boy.)_


	8. Chapter 8

_Hi everyone! It's great to be back after a short holiday! I really tried to write while being on holiday, but honestly, I was just too tired for that on most evenings. I admit that I wrote this chapter a bit in a hurry now after the holidays, but I re-read it and it should be fine. Hope, you like it!  
_

_I do not own Avatar The Last Airbender, nor its characters. The only characters I own are my OCs. _

* * *

**Chapter Eight**

**A Student and a Waiter**

_**Kilara**_

"Tell me, Kilara, why exactly are we going to the upper ring? I'm really not supposed to do this without my parents or a servant!" Denzai sounded half afraid and half excited.

I increased my pace, hoping that he wouldn't back down at the train station. "I need to see someone."

"Oh. Who is it?" He hurried to match my longer steps.

"Just a friend. Nanuk said he is working at this new tea shop, the Jasmine Dragon," I explained.

"Then why do you have to see him now? Couldn't you go there tomorrow?"

I rolled my eyes. "The day is still young and I've got nothing else to do! Waiting until tomorrow would be torture!" I exclaimed, clearly exaggerating, since I obviously couldn't tell Denzai the truth.

The people roaming the streets seemed to be a little confused at two teenagers rushing past them. But since it was no market day not that many people were even out on the streets.

"Then… he must be important to you?" Denzai assumed.

Sighing I turned around, and he nearly bumped into me. "Okay, look. He is important, but not _to _me. We just know each other and I really need to see how he is, but there's nothing else, and if you help me getting into the upper ring, I'll bring you an ice every day to school. And after school you can have one more. I'll even vary the flavours."

His light green eyes grew wide and he bit on his lower lip. "Even litchi?"

I smiled. "Sure. I'll try to get the even most exotic fruits for you!"

Denzai's eyes were sparkling with joy, as he grinned and nodded. "Then we got a deal!"

Laughing, I grabbed his hand and turned to walk toward the inner wall.

"So you're not telling me about this friend of yours?" Denzai asked again.

"His name is Lee, but you don't need to know the rest. It's not because I don't trust you. Not even my family knows about him," I explained.

"That kind of sounds as if it is forbidden that you see each other," he implied and I could hear the evil grin, before I could see it. "Is this some kind of forbidden romance I'm helping happening?"

Narrowing my eyes I increased my pace again. The sooner we got to the wall, the better. Once in the upper ring I wouldn't need Denzai anymore, so he would not be able to tease me anymore.

"Hey, come on, I'm just teasing!" Denzai shouted after me, still following me.

"You better!" I growled. "Lee is certainly no one I'd ever fall in love with," I declared rather pointedly.

"Oooooookay, I'm sorry. Sooo, you're going to look for the Jasmine Dragon all alone?"

"Someone will be able to show me the way, but you can still come with me, if you want to. I only want to be alone, when I'll be talking to Lee."

"Alright! Then I'll help you find the tea shop!" Denzai announced enthusiastically. "Maybe we could go there tomorrow again, so that I can drink a tea there."

I smiled at him. "Yeah, that would be nice. But you'll have to endure my brother. He already claimed my free time tomorrow."

"Oh, that's alright. Nanuk is really cool!"

I rolled my eyes. "Don't let him ever hear you saying that!"

Denzai chuckled.

When we finally reached the train station, I nearly jumped up the steps.

My nervousness increased as one of the earthbenders who would be pushing the train asked to get our certificate to go to the upper ring.

Denzai smiled shyly and held out the required certificate. The earthbender's eyes widened slightly and he let both of us pass. Huh, names really were everything.

Denzai and I mounted the train and sat down on seats under the windows.

"You really have to taste it! I've been at the shop in the lower ring, because of what Quon said, and that was already the best tea I ever had!" a middle-aged man to my right said to a woman his age.

"Sounds too good to be true," the woman snorted.

I quickly leaned in their direction. "I'm so sorry, I couldn't help overhearing your conversation, but you don't happen to be talking about the Jasmine Dragon, do you?"

Looking mildly surprised the man nodded. "Yes, we were."

"Could you please tell us how to get there?"

"Of course we can. We are going there ourselves. We can just walk there together," the man offered.

"Yeah, this way I'll have some more interesting conversation partners," the woman said and laughed bellowing.

The man grimaced, and I tried to smile apologetically. "Well, that would be very kind, thank you!"

Half an hour later Denzai and I had answered any questions one could possibly ask about one's life.

I had learned a few more things about Denzai and his family, for example that he had more elder siblings than I had thought. I knew he had one elder sister and a younger brother, but several elder sisters and brothers had already left home and were married. His brothers all tried to become important and wealthy people and one, the only earthbender in his family, was even a Dai Li agent.

The elder couple we were talking to didn't seem to like the Dai Li too much, although they did try to hide it. They became slightly wary of Denzai, and were looking a bit too much around.

When we were finally standing in view of the Jasmine Dragon, I admired the nice and welcoming looking house.

"We should give these young people their space, shouldn't we?" the woman asked her husband.

He nodded. "Yes. It was, of course, a pleasure meeting you."

"The pleasure was ours," Denzai and I said at the same time and bowed deeply to them.

They bowed back, and when we continued approaching the tea shop, a girl in a blue tunic and a long brown braid was running past us.

Denzai looked at me questioningly, and I shrugged.

"Did you notice the white monkey sitting on her shoulder?" he asked.

Shrugging again, I shook my head and we followed the couple into the shop.

The entrance was large and welcoming, as well as the inner of the shop. Many light colours and the green seemed to have a slight brownish tone, so it didn't look cold. People of all ages were sitting across the room and the shop was still buzzing with chatter and laughter.

A servant who was not Prince Zuko approached Denzai and me.

"Table for two, please," I said.

Denzai looked at me, surprise visible in his eyes.

After we had sat down at the last free table in a corner, I leaned forward. "We can drink some tea. And later, when I'll talk to Lee, you'll go home, okay? I don't want you to feel used for the possibility to enter the upper ring."

Denzai smiled. "It's okay. I don't feel used. I was only helping you, and that's what friends are for, right?"

I smiled at him, feeling glad that he was seeing us as friends, too. Well, I always would have guessed so, but having it confirmed was still nice.

Denzai and I looked at the menu and chose the types of tea we wanted to have. Denzai wanted ginseng and I would drink jasmine. It was in the name of the shop, after all. And it was my favourite type of tea.

A young man with a dark braid and big glasses came to our table to take our order.

After that I kind of ignored Denzai, who was quiet anyway, and looked around, searching for Prince Zuko and General Iroh.

When I couldn't see them, a sudden feeling of disappointment appeared in my heart.

Maybe it was all just a coincidence. Maybe Lee had a burn scar, but wasn't the prince after all. Maybe another tea loving uncle had opened this tea shop.

But when I was looking around, I could see that there was a pai sho table, which confirmed my suspicions. Prince Zuko had told me that his uncle loved pai sho.

It had to be _them_.

A moment later, an elderly rather big man walked out of the kitchen, carrying a tray with tea and cookies. He was looking behind him, where another person walked out of the kitchen, carrying even two trays in each hand.

The elderly man with the grey braid and beard and the green hat was smiling at the young black-haired man, whose face I couldn't see.

But I could see his hands. They were so alabaster and pale. Strong hands, but not used to hard work.

Both of them walked over to a table where nine people were sitting at, and the old man suddenly started to laugh.

When he turned around to serve the tea from the other side of the table, he revealed his facial features completely, and my suspicions were confirmed. General Iroh, the Dragon of the West was the owner of a tea shop in the upper ring of Ba Sing Se.

He was smiling, and saying things in a nice way to the customers.

After he had cleared his tray he walked back into the kitchen, and right after that the young black-haired man turned around to follow him.

His hair was growing over his ears and he was smiling in a friendly manner, when he shortly looked around the room, looking happy and satisfied. Then he walked into the kitchen, his step having a light bounce.

But, of course, I hadn't missed this angular jaw, the high cheekbones or the golden eyes, even though one was hard to see, since it was only a slit due to the burn scar around it.

I stiffened, staring at him, feeling a bit of astonishment at the fact that he did seem happy.

Denzai clearly hadn't missed my staring. "Is that him? Is that Lee? The tall one with that scar?"

I turned around to snap at him, but stopped half in the motion, as I noticed that there had been no judgement in his words. Yeah, Prince Zuko had a scar. That was a fact.

"He's not that tall!" I said instead.

"Taller than us."

I rolled my eyes and stared at the kitchen door.

I had to wait a few minutes, until the prince showed up again, carrying a tray with only two tea cups. Frowning, I watched him, as he walked to the couple we had talked to earlier, but they seemed to tell him that they had ordered something different, since a blush spread on his face, and he murmured something, walking back into the kitchen with long strides.

My eyes grew wide, as I looked at the endearing red colour on his cheeks.

He stopped at another waiter and seemed to ask something, got an answer, sighed and turned around, walking in our direction.

He looked as if he would still fight the blush on his cheeks. He didn't even look at us, when he sat down the tray. My eyes watched him intently, the movement of his hands and how his hair fell into his face.

"The orders got mixed up. Please excuse the wait and enjoy your tea," he said, looking up at us with a genuine, but shy smile.

Before I could return it, his smile faded and his eyes grew wide. He opened his mouth slightly, his brows contorting in a frown.

Oh moon, no! Had I made a mistake? Didn't he want to see me? Was he actually part of a plan to overthrow the city? Had I just discovered his cover?

Now I felt my cheeks flushing, since we were still staring at each other like idiots. "Uh hi, Lee," I said cautiously, not wanting him to run away like a scared animal.

His frown deepened and he blinked a few times. "Hi. Kilara."

It was only the second time I heard him saying my name, but it sounded way nicer with his dark raspy voice than I had remembered it, although he did sound surprised.

"Uh…" Wow, why hadn't I thought of what to do or what to say the moment I would see him? I always thought about what to say or what to do. Apparently I had just forgotten about that.

"What are you doing here?" he suddenly asked, leaning back and standing to his full height.

I swallowed. "I moved here. With my father and brother."

A smile appeared on his face, lighting his eyes and making them look as if they were on fire. "Well, that is great, Kilara!"

My eyes widened at… well, everything. He was smiling, dammit! Last time I'd seen him, he had been so hostile and distrustful. Now he seemed so normal and as if he was really happy for me.

My facial expression seemed to show my shock and surprise, since he immediately stopped smiling. "Uh, or isn't it great? I mean, it sounds pretty great, but… so, you're still not allowed to study?"

Blinking, I tried to regain some senses, and nodded. "No, I mean… I'm preparing to study. So, I'm allowed, but first I have to get the Maturity."

The smile appeared again, making him seem so normal and happy.

Dammit, when did that happen? He had clearly changed a lot.

Oh no, what if his father had reaccepted him, and that was why he was happy? But the only reason for him to stay here then, was if the Fire Nation planned to conquer Ba Sing Se.

The prince looked as if he was about to say something, but then he looked at Denzai, nodding with a small smile in greeting. "Sorry. Hi, I'm Lee."

Denzai returned his smile. "Yeah, I know. I'm Denzai!"

Prince Zuko frowned. "You know?"

"Yeah!" I exclaimed loudly to get their attention. "I told Denzai that you're Lee and that I know you."

The prince's eyebrows rose and his eyes widened slightly. "Oh, okay." His shy smile returned. "Nice to meet you," he said to Denzai.

"Nice to meet you, too," Denzai replied, still smiling.

"Well, I have to continue working," the prince said evasively. "But it is nice to see you, Kilara." He lifted a hand and rubbed his neck, looking at the wall behind me. "Do you… maybe have some time later? After I'm finished with work? W-we could talk!"

My heart started to beat faster and I felt like not really being in my body, when I felt that it nodded. "Yeah, sure! Uh, when are you finished?"

"In two hours," he answered and took the tray from the table. "Will you wait here then?"

Nodding I smiled. "Yes."

Prince Zuko inclined his head slightly. "Enjoy your tea!"

I was still smiling, when I watched him walking back into the kitchen.

Denzai lifted his tea cup to his lips, taking a sip. "Wow, that tea is great! Who is making it?"

I nodded at General Iroh, who was talking laughingly to some of the customers. "Him."

"You didn't tell me Lee was working here!" he said, lifting one eyebrow.

Sighing, I took a sip of my jasmine tea. The hot liquid didn't feel uncomfortable despite the warm weather, and the water felt so soft in my mouth, the jasmine flavour wasn't too sweet, but still sweet enough, so that I didn't have to add any sugar or honey.

"Mhm, you're right. This tea is really good," I said, chuckling. The Dragon of the West, the only person who ever broke through the outer wall of Ba Sing Se, the brother of the Fire Lord, made some damn good tea!

"What's so funny?" Denzai asked.

"Uh, nothing. I mean, it is Lee's uncle, who is making this tea, and I just would have never thought that his tea is so good!" I explained.

"Really? That is Lee's uncle?! Wow, they don't look anything alike!" Denzai was looking at the General, and narrowed his eyes. "Although… both of them have some unique eye colour!"

"Yeah," I said, feeling slightly panicked. Oh no, he would not figure out where they were from, would he? Denzai was smart and intelligent. He could figure it out.

"I think I like Lee," he continued, and I allowed myself to relax slightly. "He seems nice. But even if you say there's nothing there, I think he likes you." Denzai raised his eyebrows and looked innocently at me, his eyes wide.

"Ha. Ha," I said dryly.

Denzai shrugged. "It is just what I think I saw. Besides I have no experience at all with girls, so I might not be qualified to make such detection."

I needed to fight a grin at his words.

Denzai and I did not stay for two hours in the shop, since there were other customers who needed a table. We wandered around the upper ring for a while, getting near to the palace walls.

There weren't many people walking on the streets in the upper ring. There were many coaches, though, pulled by ostrich horses. Denzai told me that the people walking on the streets were probably servants doing their work, such as shopping food, or delivering things.

It felt as if the two hours weren't passing at all, but somehow Denzai made me forget about the time, and suddenly we were standing in front of the Jasmine Dragon again. A man clad in the attire of the palace servants just left the place, and Denzai and I said goodbye to each other.

He didn't know what exactly I was going to do, so he didn't need to worry.

But my stomach clenched so much it was hurting. I pressed a hand on my belly and took a deep breath.

Even if the prince was going to imprison me, so that I could not blow his cover and prevent the Fire Nation from conquering the city, I knew he was not going to hurt me.

Besides, it could still be true that Prince Zuko and his uncle were only here to hide from his sister. Maybe they would stay here, and the prince and I could visit each other.

When I walked closer, I could see Prince Zuko sweeping the floor.

I blinked a few times and then stared at him. I had already seen him as a thief, sleeping in dirt and sharing his food with me. But housework? It almost seemed ridiculous. Was that really a cover?

"Hi," I said quietly.

He looked up immediately and smiled slightly. "Hi! I thought you left."

Blinking I frowned. "But you wanted to talk?"

"Uh, yeah. I just didn't see you sitting at your table anymore." He stopped sweeping and stood to his full height in the setting sun which was shining right into the tea shop. The light in which he stood made him look more a prince than he ever had looked to me. Despite his normal Earth Kingdom clothes and a confused look on his face he did look regal.

I pressed my lips together to stop myself from smiling. "Well, yes. I couldn't drink tea for two hours and there were other people wanting our table. So we left…"

"Oh." A slight shade of red spread on his cheeks and he looked down at his feet. "I didn't think about that."

"Haven't been that long into the gastronomy, have you?" I asked and went to sit at a table.

The prince followed me with his eyes and then continued sweeping. "How could you tell?"  
I couldn't fight the smile that spread on my lips and when I noticed that the corners of his mouth were upturned, too, nothing stopped me from chuckling.

"If you want to talk, could we maybe go to a place which hasn't closed yet?" I asked. "I'm starving, and I didn't have anything, except ice, since lunch! Well, and these cookies you serve." That was, in fact, true, but the other reason why I wanted to go to a public place, was the possibility of Prince Zuko conspiring against the Earth Kingdom.

"You eat plain ice?" The shock and disgust in his voice let me come back to our conversation.

"Uh, no. I'm talking about frozen fruit juice on sticks. But even if I would eat plain ice, this is still a hundred times better than ocean cumquats!" I retorted, alluding to Fire Nation kitchen.

"What are ocean kumquats?"

I frowned. "Uh… only something really disgusting from the Fire Nation!" I didn't even bother about lowering my voice. There was no war in Ba Sing Se, so there was also no reason to stay quiet.

But the prince didn't seem to know that and spun around. With a few long strides he was standing right in front of me, his face contorted in anger. "Don't you mention that here!" He was looking around, before he continued speaking. "Do you want me to get caught?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, obviously I do. That is exactly why I've been helping you with everything since I first met you!"

Twisting his mouth and narrowing his eyes he stared searchingly at me and sighed then. "Then why were you just talking about the Fire Nation?" he hissed. "Anyone could have heard you."

"There is no problem with talking about the Fire Nation here," I whispered. "You are not allowed to mention the war, and most people don't even know about it!"

Frowning, he opened his mouth to say something. "But…"

"I was simply saying that even if waterbenders would eat plain ice, it is still better than some things from the Fire Nation," I explained in a calm voice.

The prince seemed to relax and walked over to take the broom in his hand. "I need to bring this behind the counter. And I should probably tell my uncle that I'm going out. Could you just wait here, please?"

Smiling reassuringly I nodded. "Of course."

He walked a few steps, but then suddenly turned around. "Uh, maybe you should wait at the entrance. And when I'm coming back, we should just go. Not looking back."  
I nodded slowly, feeling a bit unnerved.

A few seconds after he had left low voices could be heard and I strained myself to understand what they were saying, but it was hopeless.

But suddenly someone shouted "REALLY? THAT IS GREAT!" And then it went back to a normal volume.

I was biting on my lower lip and had unconsciously leaned in the direction of the voices, when Prince Zuko walked out of the door, nearly running, his face contorted as if he was in pain.

"Is everything okay?" I asked, unfolding my arms in worry.

"Lee! Lee, wait!" an old man's voice sounded from the kitchen.

I raised my eyebrows at the prince, as he widened his eyes in shock, grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the shop. "Hey!" I protested, struggling to free my arm.

"Just walk!" he hissed, but let me go the moment we had turned around a corner.

"What's wrong with you?" I demanded to know, rubbing my arm for emphasis.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you, but as usual, my uncle came to the wrong conclusion. He thinks I'm going on a date and I wanted to spare us that embarrassment."

"Oh," I said weakly, laughing quietly. "Thank you then. But what do you mean with 'as usual'? Isn't your uncle very intelligent?"

The prince sighed. "Yes, he is. Only with me he seems to never know what I'm up to."

I twisted my mouth. "Uh-huh."

"Never mind!" The smile appeared on his face again. "So what do you want to eat?"

I shrugged. "I don't really care. I guess I also don't really want to eat here. There is only the upper class cuisine and the food will be so expensive! For half a plate!"

The prince chuckled. "You're right. I'm actually glad you don't want to go there, since I really don't like these places. But I know where we could go."

I smiled. "Great. Then lead the way."

The thought of being alone with him didn't make me feel as uncomfortable as it did before. He was still the same person, the same boy who had been unsure and hurt. Now, he was smiling and being nice. It confused me, but despite my worries, most of all, I was feeling happy for him.

"It's going to be rather quiet where we're going. There it will be easier for us to talk," he explained, while watching the people on the streets with polite interest.

"Okay. But I need to know something now. Otherwise I'll be suspicious of you the whole time," I said warningly, my eyebrows raised.

The prince sent me a confused look.

"Why are you so different? I mean, during our previous encounters there wasn't really something for you to be happy about, but now you seem as if anything you had wished for happened."

"Oh." He frowned, his eyes darkened as he looked on the ground. "I guess I know what you mean. But I've got some questions, too. I promise I'll answer yours later, but mine have been occupying me for a longer time now."

A few seconds I gazed at him, searchingly, and then nodded. "Alright. Ask."

"You really know who I am?"

"Yes."

"So… about my status and my real name, I mean? Since I really wasn't sure if I heard you right last time."

"No, I know who you are. Status and real name." I looked around to see if someone was watching us. "You're Prince Zuko," I whisperd out of the corner of my mouth.

"How long have you known?"

"Like I told you, there were soldiers showing up at my uncle's home, after you had left. They had wanted posters of you and your uncle. I just recognised you."

He turned around to stare at me in wonder. "You… oh, okay. Well, then I'm even more grateful for your help afterwards. Most people wouldn't have done it."

"Most people also didn't see you the way I did, when you tried to break into my uncle's house," I retorted, smiling, since I meant it in a positive way.

"Probably, yeah." He was rubbing his neck. "Wow, I kind of assumed all of that, since you called me by my real name, but I could have also had a hallucination."

My smile spread wider. "That is true. There are some really strange plants causing many different mental, but also physical problems…," I began to explain, already thinking about which plants would be the perfect examples, when I noticed that I was being a nerd again. That was uncool. "But never mind. Any more questions or will you answer mine now?"

He shook his head. "No. I've got no more questions." He turned his head towards me, but still kept his attention on the way. "Nothing I had wished for happened. But… I don't really know. It seems as if I have come to terms with it. We came here to hide from my sister, but maybe her chasing us was the best thing that ever happened to us. Uncle's tea shop is going well, and I don't mind working there." A small smile appeared on his lips. "He's happy, and I… try to make the best out of it."

Eyebrows raised I was blinking in surprise, but a smile of mine spread also rather quickly. His wringing and insecurities had already shown me that he wasn't okay with his father's decisions to a hundred percent. Seeing him all happy, because of accepting his fate was something I, on the one hand, found good, but on the other, it reminded me of giving up. But maybe sometimes one could only win by giving up.

"Soooo you don't want to go home anymore? And, erm, you are not trying to capture the Avatar anymore?" I asked a bit probingly.

His jaw clenched, but he shook his head, running a hand through his hair. "No. I don't see the point in trying. Azula wants to capture the Avatar now, too, and with her resources, I won't stand a chance. Besides, my father wants me imprisoned, because he thinks of me as a failure." His voice became lower and deeper, as he looked on the ground. "I don't even know if my father would accept me back home, so why should I risk the safety and happiness I have here with Uncle?"

I bit on my lower lip and nodded in agreement. "Yeah, that does make sense." My gaze wandered to look at him, while we were walking through a beautiful park. "I don't know a lot about you or your family, so I cannot really say anything about that. But if you are feeling that you are doing the right thing, I'd believe it is the right thing to do."

The prince's eyebrows rose and an amused glint appeared in his eyes. "You believe that what a thief thinks is right, is the right thing?"

Rolling my eyes I felt a grin spreading on my face. "You have stolen things, but you're no thief." I could feel a slight flutter in my stomach, as I thought about the night I had met him. "I believe that you're a very good person with high moral standards. You were raised by the worst person that exists. You have learned that war is the only answer to everything, but you still turned your back on it. That proves what a good person you are," I said quietly, almost shyly.

Pressing my lips together I held my gaze on the path in front of us and didn't dare to look at him. I'd never praised anybody like this, it was so embarrassing.

He obviously found that, too, since he didn't say anything.

We crossed a small creek and exited the park, walking into a noble residential district. The houses here were even larger than the elegant villas we had just walked past.

"That means a lot to me, thanks," Prince Zuko suddenly said quietly.

I turned towards him, brows raised. "Huh?"

He blinked. "What you just said. I mean, I always saw myself as a good person, but after the North Pole… and especially while wandering the Earth Kingdom, I was starting to think otherwise." He grimaced and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I have done some bad things in the name of my nation, or in order to capture the Avatar… You must know that! But still you, definitely the kindest, nicest and friendliest person I ever met, are saying that I'm a good person."

My eyes had widened and I felt slightly embarrassed at his praise, too. Blood rushed through my cheeks and I looked away. "Of course. Good people sometimes do bad things. That doesn't make them bad. Being convinced about the own superiority, or the worthlessness of others, that wrong is right, that is what makes people bad," I said, trying to distract from me being the kindest, nicest and friendliest person he had ever met.

"You kind of sound like my Uncle," he said, his voice full of wonder.

I lifted my gaze to look at him, and had to fight a blush again, because his eyes were full of wonder, too. His good eye was opened a bit more, and his lips slightly parted. "You sure you're only fifteen?"

I smiled inwardly, because he remembered my age. "Yes. But through reading I'm learning from other people's life experiences, which makes me wiser."

"Perhaps reading isn't so bad then," he mused, sounding confused.

"Hey! Reading is super cool! One of the coolest things ever to be precise!" I defended my favourite way of spending time.

Prince Zuko raised his eyebrows sceptically. "Are you serious? I kind of find reading boring."

"Huh!" I inhaled sharply. "How can you say something like that?"

"Well, you never do anything while reading, only sitting somewhere. Reading interesting things that'll help you with something is the only reason why one should read."

My nostrils flared, and I narrowed my eyes at him, my hand twitching to form a water whip. "Reading anything helps with everything! You always are smarter after you read something! Besides, doing something isn't always the right way to do things. Sometimes it is better to read about something first and get informed."

He suddenly began to grin and then burst into laughter. It was more than his chuckles, but not as loud as one of Nanuk's laughs. But his grin stayed wide, and he even leaned his head back. "Oh my, you should have planned my secret missions! I would have probably accomplished them, if you had been reading everything about it beforehand!"

I frowned. "What secret missions?" I asked, raising an eyebrow and looking at him curiously.

His good eye widened and a slight blush appeared on his cheek that I found very endearing. "Uh… just some trips in order to gather information. You know, reconnoitre military bases and movements and stuff."

"Aahhh," I said knowingly, grinning widely. "So you're saying you were spying on people?"

It was his turn to frown, as he turned towards me to glare at me. "I didn't spy on them! I was just spying on their actions…," he added quietly.

"Why were you doing that?" I asked, tilting my head to the side.

He shrugged. "As a banished prince, no one really respects you. No one cared to tell me what they or their troupes were up to, so I had to gather my own information."

I frowned, when he stopped walking. "That seems pretty unfair. You might have been banished, but you're still a prince. And no one knows if you couldn't redeem yourself. In that case these people would have a powerful adversary."

"Fire Nation military don't care about what ifs and the future. The Fire Lord banished me which is all they needed to know." He shifted uncomfortably on his feet. "But, uh… so, we're there. At the place."

Curiously I raised my eyebrows and looked up at the building. It was a tall apartment building, painted in a light green with wooden window frames. There was no sign of a restaurant at all.

"Uh…" I began, leaning back, preparing to run, since I felt a bit uneasy.

The prince didn't seem to notice my discomfort and just rubbed his neck. "This is, uh… actually Uncle's and my apartment. I thought we could just cook something, since I honestly don't know any not fancy and expensive restaurant in the upper ring."

His words made me relax again and I felt stupid for doubting him a second. I didn't really. I trusted him, but I was still being cautious. There was nothing wrong with that.

A smile tugged at my lips, and I looked him in the eye. "Sounds good to me. What do you have there?"

"Probably anything one could need for a meal. It's Uncle doing the shopping, and he loves to buy stuff. Even if we would never use it."

I chuckled. "Yeah, I remember that tale about the white lotus tile, and what he did buy instead."

I caught a glimpse of his smile out of the corner of my eye, as if he was happy that I remembered him telling me about that, when he chuckled, too.

He led the way toward the entrance door, which he opened with a key. "Yeah, that's exactly how he is with food and tea. And he taught me how to do some things, so I could cook something for you this time. To make us even."

My smile became softer and somehow sadder, since I didn't really want us to be even. I certainly didn't want him to be in my debt, but if we were even, would he still do that? Would he still be so nice or did he just behave that way, because I had saved his uncle's life?

"I don't know. If your uncle had just recently shown you how to cook I'm not even sure I want to eat that," I replied teasingly which earned me a glare, when he turned his head back at me.

I grinned to myself, but then frowned. Wait a second. He _was _a prince.

"I'm sorry, but uh… Do I… I mean…," I stammered, when we had reached a door on the second floor. "You're a prince. Should I maybe act differently?" I asked uncertainly.

His brow furrowed, while he was opening a brown wooden door with the same key. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I am kind of teasing you. Couldn't I get punished for that or something? Or should I bow to you, or call you 'Your Majesty'?"

Prince Zuko snorted and put his key onto a small dresser in the hallway. "Don't be ridiculous. Only heads of states are called 'Your Majesty'. I would be called 'Your Highness'," he explained in an arrogant tone. "But I already told you that my father would probably not even want me back, so I don't consider myself as a prince anymore." He took off his shoes, and looked up at me, how I was still standing in the door, staring at him. He pulled me inside and closed the door behind me. Somehow he had to get very close to me to do so, and I could slightly smell him. Tea leaves and spices.

He took a step back and shrugged. "I'm just Zuko."

_**Zuko**_

Kilara's gaze turned soft and a friendly small smile appeared on her lips. "Alright, just Zuko." Then she bent down to take her shoes off.

I waited for her, until she was done and led her into the kitchen.

"You know, I haven't told anyone about you," she said when she leaned her hip on the counter.

I raised my eyebrows. "About Zuko or Lee?"

"Nothing about Zuko, and nothing about Lee until today," she replied shyly. "That was kind of a slip up."

"How did you do that?"

A slight pink coloured her tanned and freckled cheeks. "Uh… My brother Nanuk went to the tea shop earlier today and told me about some scary looking waiter who mixed up orders and was the nephew of the shop owner." Her eyebrows lifted slightly in a mocking manner and a grin tugged at the corners of her mouth.

"Yeah." I rubbed my neck, feeling slightly embarrassed. "I was serving in this other tea shop, but now we got a totally different menu and we have more seats and I'm not so good with remembering faces," I tried to explain.

Kilara chuckled softly. "It's okay. It's just that my brother mentioned your scar and sad your name was Lee. There I kind of let slip that I know you."

I frowned a bit and felt suddenly very uncomfortable. Well, of course her brother had mentioned my scar. It was always the first thing that people saw. It would always be the first thing that people saw, always making me different and always branding me my father's son.

"Oh." I shrugged, trying to cover my uneasiness at the mentioning of my scar. "Then I don't think the slip up was anyhow bad. Uh… so what do you want to eat?" I turned my back on her and opened every drawer and cupboard in which I knew Uncle had been keeping food. "We have far too many sorts of noodles, even the Omashu pasta."

"What on earth is that?" Kilara sounded somehow disgusted at the thought.

I shrugged. "Jut noodles in Omashu form." I grabbed the package and looked at the description. "It's egg noodle dough, they just have the form of a cone," I explained and turned to look at her.

She looked sceptical, but also curious and shrugged. "I'd like to try these. I've never eaten noodles in any other form than… uh… noodles?"

I smiled at her and nodded. "Yeah, it seems to be very unusual here. In the Fire Nation you nearly get any food in the form of a flame," I told her, remembering how Azula and I had sneaked into the kitchen to demand special forms of noodles from the cooks. It wasn't quite allowed to us, since we were to eat the same things as the adults, but after Lu Ten had once shown me his sword noodles with a smug smile, I had always wanted them, too. Azula didn't like to be left out of sneaking around the palace and had found out what I had been up to the first time I had snuck into the kitchens. She had told me that I had behaved strangely and that she would only not squeal if she could have noodles in the form of me. Seeing my younger sister eating me formed noodles had caused me a lot of nightmares. "Also dragons, volcanos and fire lilies," I added as I stood up and pulled out a pot.

Kilara surprised me when she bent water from the tap into the pot and looked at me with raised eyebrows and a smirk.

Hiding my grin, I turned around and put the pot on the stove. "Are there any vegetables you don't like?"

"Onions. The rest is okay, if you want to add something."

I quickly spun around, my mouth wide open when I gaped at her. "But onions are everywhere!"

Her grin showed that she tried not to laugh when she put her hands on her hips. "Yeah, I don't mind the flavour, I just don't like chewing on them, or biting into a piece."

"Huh." Composing myself I smiled at her. "Then there will be no onions, celery or leek," I said, adding the vegetables that I didn't like.

Kilara shrugged. "That's fine with me."

"At the palace I had always had to eat celery and leek when it had been in a meal," I said, recounting another memory and frowned. I hadn't meant to say that out loud. Blinking I quickly pulled out some vegetables from the cupboard, as well as a knife and a small wooden board. I closed all drawers and cupboards again and started cutting.

"Why? Shouldn't you have been allowed to eat what you want?"

I frowned. "No. My father didn't want us to be weak and refusing to eat something we didn't like was a way of being weak to him. Besides, the food we became was supposed to enforce firebending and make physically stronger."

"Oh. Yeah, I heard that too all the time. 'Eat your vegetables or you'll be weak'."

Surprise spread inside me, since I had always assumed that Kilara's childhood had been happy and pampered. "Really?"

Kilara nodded. "Yes. My mother was a very expectant woman. She wanted me to become a good fighter and bender, since the women in her tribe aren't allowed to. I guess, she wanted to show them otherwise." Her voice had become a bit quieter at the end and I turned to look at her. She was staring at the floor, eyes wide.

Narrowing my eyes I thought of what to do to get her out of that mood. But nothing came into my mind. What if she felt insulted if I changed the topic?

Before I could come up with something, she straightened herself and looked up with a small smile on her lips. "Is there anything I can do? Preparing the meat maybe?" Kilara's voice met my ears.

I shook my head and looked behind me, smiling at her. "I told you I wanted to cook. I owe you a meal after all."

"Yeah… But you're making a real meal. I just cooked a Fire Nation breakfast porridge," she said, sounding embarrassed, which made me grin.

"It was still delicious," I comforted her. "But my cooking is really not that bad. I'm just doing what Uncle does and it gets okay. Not as good as his food, but still better than the food Fire Nation Navy soldiers get." A cold shiver ran down my spine at the memory of the food that Zhao had given to his soldiers. I really hadn't wanted to eat that, but I had had to keep my strength.

"Huh. You have no idea how many questions I had for you when I came to the Jasmine Dragon. And while you're talking they are just getting more." Her voice sounded curious, cautious and confused at the same time.

But I kept my back to her, while cutting a carrot. "Well, I've got many questions, too, but you can just go ahead and ask."

"Okay… Hm, what does your uncle do differently when cooking?"

I rolled my eyes. "He says he adds love to the ingredients."

A very amused and somehow also cynical laughter met my ears. It sounded deeper than her chuckles and a bit throaty. I liked it.

"Yeah. I guess you're adding always aggression, don't you?"

My back stiffened and I felt slightly annoyed. "I'm not!" But at that moment kind of every situation in which I had yelled at or insulted Uncle played in my head and I blushed deeply and cleared my throat. "Okay, maybe a few weeks ago I would have, but I don't feel angry anymore all the time."

Kilara sighed. "I meant it as a joke. You were yelling a lot at me, after all."

My blush deepened. "Sorry," I murmured and concentrated harder on cutting another carrot.

"Or awkwardness. That seems to be fitting pretty much, too," she continued.

My grip on the knife became firmer, while I tried to fight my anger. "I am not awkward," I gritted out between my teeth.

"No, you just felt awkward." The evil grin in her voice was very perceptive and the muscles in my back relaxed slightly.

"You know, only because I told you that you don't have to treat me like a prince it doesn't mean you can insult me the whole time!" I snapped and went on to cut mushrooms.

A chuckle came to my ears. "I'm not insulting you. I'm just teasing. Mocking. It's not meant to insult or hurt, you know."

"Then why are you doing it?"

"Erm… I guess…"

When she didn't say anything else I turned around and stared at her with raised eyebrows. She was so going to answer me.

But Kilara looked highly embarrassed and her cheeks had become a deep red and her lips were pressed together. Her gaze went to the window and she continued to stare out of it.

I stayed where I was and waited for an answer. But after a long time I noticed that she was very stubborn and wouldn't turn to look at me, even if… uh… well, something grave or unexpected would happen.

So I tensed and jumped directly in front of her, moving too quickly for her to move away.

It was strange having her near, especially since I was the one who had initiated the closeness.

She jumped out of shock and squeaked in a manner that I found very girly.

I bent my head over her, liking it that she was a head shorter than me. "Answer me," I demanded.

"I don't have to," she replied defiantly, leaning her head back to look at me and narrowing her eyes.

"You better or else…," I threatened growling.

"Or else what?"

"Or else I'll add big chunks of onions to the noodles," I whispered in the most scary manner I managed.

She took a sharp breath, steeling her narrowed gaze. "You wouldn't dare!" she hissed and suddenly grabbed my wrists. A large grin spread on her face. "Ha! I've got your hands, you can't add anything to the noodles if I don't let you go!"

Her hands felt much warmer than I had anticipated. Her skin was smooth and soft, reminding me more of silk than water, ice or snow.

Frowning at my thoughts I intended to free my wrists without putting much effort into it, but Kilara surprised me, obviously having expected me to do that. Her grip remained firm and I only hurt myself, trying to free me.

But her grin was so smug that I couldn't stand it and I knew I had to win this. I still had more strength in my arms, so I simply lifted them quickly all the way up to the ceiling, until my wrists were too high for Kilara to hold on to. She tried, though, nearly causing me to fall onto her. As she noticed that the pink colour spread on her cheeks again and she let me go.

I stared at her, into the deep turquoise sea of her eyes and had totally forget what it was that had brought me into this situation. Blinking I remembered and turned back to the vegetables with a frown.

"Wait!" she exclaimed.

I paused, wondering why she had shouted so loud.

"Please don't add onions! It's just… I kind of… This is embarrassing if you don't think that, too, or if you feel still too much like a prince to feel like that for a normal person, but… I'm teasing you, because I think of you… as a friend," she explained hesitantly.

My eyes widened and I stared at the stove. What? A friend? Wait. That didn't even make sense.

"Why would you tease a friend?" I asked, feeling confused.

"Uh… Anyone does that. That's what friends do."

I didn't understand that at all. I knew that Azula had been mean to Ty Lee and Mai sometimes, but I had always thought that this was just because it was Azula. Mai and Ty Lee had never done such things with Azula, so I had thought that friends normally didn't do that. But now that I was thinking about it they probably just hadn't teased Azula, because they had feared the consequences.

Frowning I remembered that Lu Ten had teased me in a gentle manner. He had angered me that much that I had started shouting and he had laughed, telling me that I made it just too easy, before sweeping me up on his shoulders and running down a corridor, so I felt as if I was flying.

Huh, I probably still made it too easy for people to tease me.

Feeling partly afraid of a 'Hah! Just kidding! I'd never see you as a friend!' I turned around and looked cautiously at Kilara who still looked slightly embarrassed and shy.

"Erm, okay. Then it's okay," I said.

"Sooooooo…"

"So what?" I asked.

"Are we friends or aren't we?" she wanted to know, looking freakingly neutral. Would it even affect her if I would say no? After all, I was the one who had always needed her. Kilara didn't need me. She was just there, helping me without any reason.

But the thought of having a friend scared me somehow. The closest thing to a friend was currently my uncle. But he was family, too, and his son was dead, so I was kind of a replacement (even if I wasn't as great, funny, nice or friendly as Lu Ten). Uncle wouldn't just leave me.

But Kilara had probably tons of friends. She even had a nice family, which had old fashioned views of a woman, but still allowed Kilara to study and didn't press her to marry. Why did she want to have me as a friend?

My hesitation seemed to make her think that I'd say no, and her eyes grew wider, before she quickly looked away.

"I'd like to," I quickly said. "Being friends, I mean." Swallowing I waited for her to look at me again.

When she did her smile was radiant, bright and warm.

I had a friend.

"Okay. Then back to my questions!"

Feeling slightly confused by the sudden change of topic, but still encouraged by her smile, I turned around to continue cutting more vegetables.

"How did you make it to Ba Sing Se?"

"My uncle found some friends and they got us papers, passports and stuff. There were bounty hunters looking for us and we agreed that Ba Sing Se was the safest place from Azula. Not even Uncle could conquer it."

Having finished with the vegetables I prepared egg and flour to turn the meat pieces in.

"And what did you do when you arrived?"

"Uncle bought flowers," I answered dryly and heard her chuckle again. "He found a tea shop in which we could work in the lower ring. With the salary we managed to rent a small apartment. That's more than a month ago now, actually. And then some noble named Quon showed up and thought that Uncle's tea was so good that it would make sense to invest in a tea shop for him. That's how we ended up here."

When I tossed the meat into the pan with all the oil, Kilara let out a gasp.

"What are you doing? That's way too much oil!"

"I thought you didn't know how to cook," I replied casually.

"But still!"

Grinning slightly I shrugged and put the Omashu formed noodles into the pot and put it onto the stove. "It's called frying. Very uncommon here. You find it in the colonies and on every Fire Nation festival. Everything tastes better like that."

"That's how you fry? When I was in the Fire Nation, I ate fried potato pumpkins, but I didn't know that they were cooked in oil!"

"Fried," I corrected her.

"Whatever," she murmured.

"Trust me, it's really delicious."

"I do. I just never saw it before."

Feeling rather good to show her something she had never seen before I turned around to look at her.

"Can I…" she started. "Can I ask you questions about your life as a prince before or don't you want to talk about it?"

I had known she was going to ask questions about being royalty and the palace, but I hadn't expected her to ask for permission. But I was glad that she had done, since I didn't want to answer such things.

"I mean about your childhood and family," she added.

My brows contorted. "What's there to ask? My mother is gone, my father is the Fire Lord, my sister is hunting me and my uncle is here," I summoned it all up for her.

Kilara seemed a bit uneasy, while she was shifting from one foot to the other. "You don't have to answer every question. Or maybe you could just start telling me about the things you want to talk about. You know, happy things."

Sighing I turned around to add the vegetables to the meat in the frying pan. "I don't want to talk about that."

"Then talk about yourself. I mean, if we're friends I should know you better. I only know that you're quick to anger, you used to be angry, but something happened and now you're not angry anymore. And you don't like leek and celery."

Twisting my mouth I was thinking about that. Well, maybe she was right and I could indeed tell her about myself without mentioning my family. But what was I going to tell her then? My favourite colour?

"That's silly," I murmured.

Kilara groaned in an annoyed manner. "Fine. Then I'll just ask anything and you answer or say that you don't want to answer!"

Frowning I opened my mouth to say something against her suggestion, but she kept talking.

"How was it that you ate normal soldiers' food, when you were on a Fire Nation Navy ship? Didn't you still have a more important rank than the others?"

I took a deep breath, deciding that I could answer that question and turned the food in the pan a bit. "Well, normally, yes. On my own ship, I used to eat alone or with my uncle. Sometimes my uncle convinced me to eat with the others, though. I had told the chef what I wanted to eat, and honestly, I didn't care what the others ate, as long as there were enough vitamins and proteins to keep my crew strong and healthy. My uncle got some extras from the cook, too. But I know that he was cooking rather well. Everyone was always looking forward to the meals. But when I was talking about Fire Nation Navy food earlier, I was actually referring to my time as an undercover soldier on Admiral Zhao's ship," I told her, feeling that my answer was enough.

"Did you really kill him?" Her voice came out as a hoarse whisper.

My back tensed and I swallowed.

I had hated that guy. He was an arrogant idiot who didn't have any respect for me, which I totally cannot stand. But I don't know if he had deserved his end. Did he even die? What had the spirit done to him?

But most important: How did Kilara know about that?

"No, I didn't. What…" I sighed. "How did you know about that?"

"The soldiers looking for you at my uncle's house said you had killed this admiral."

"Oh, I see. I guess it was the only logical explanation they did come up with." It was difficult and strange for me to cook a meal while talking about Admiral Zhao's death. Something that I connected with my old life, something I didn't ever want to see or talk about. But somehow I understood why Kilara wanted to know about it.

"Then what really happened?" she asked hesitantly and shyly.

Twisting my face I thought back and was wondering if I had to go far afield to make her understand. "Well, the Admiral and I never got along really well. He was an arrogant pompous ass and every time I saw him I just wanted to punch him in his stupid face," I growled, feeling flustered at the fact that the bare memory was making me still so angry. I took a deep breath to calm myself. "Anyway, he wanted to catch the Avatar, I wanted to catch the Avatar, but then he did, and I disguised myself as… uhm… well, you've seen it… the Blue Spirit, and… I broke into his stronghold and freed the Avatar. He found out that it had been me, because he saw my swords later on my ship and after he had taken all my crew for his stupid invasion of the North Pole, he ordered some pirates… well, not some pirates. I had met them before and we didn't part on good terms. That was partly my own fault, though. And that of this Water Tribe idiot." I blushed, as I understood what I had just said and turned quickly to look at Kilara. "No offense."

"Non taken. There are idiots in the Water Tribe, too."

I frowned at 'too', but shrugged it away, since she definitely had more right to insult my country than I had to insult hers. "Anyway, Zhao ordered them to kill me, which didn't…"

"What?" she shrieked so loud that I let the spoon fall down and the hot noodle water splashed and burnt my hand.

"Aaarrgghhh!" I shouted, shaking my hand and quickly held it under the cool water from the tap.

"Oh moon! I'm so sorry! I'm soooo sorry!" Kilara babbled and came to stand beside me. To reach into the sink she had to stand really close to me, but I didn't really notice, since it still hurt too much. Kilara's hands surrounded mine under the stream and the water quickly began to glow. Again, I was staring at her power in wonder and thought that it would be pretty useful having a water healer around.

The burn eased to a prickle until I didn't feel anything anymore and a sigh escaped my lips. "Thanks," I said.

"You're welcome. After all, it kind of was my fault you got burnt before, so… but he wanted to kill you?" Kilara fidgeted with her hair and chewed on her lip, before she stemmed her hands on her hips.

I snorted. "No, he wanted to get me killed. That coward would always let somebody else do his dirty work. But the pirates wanted to kill me by making my ship explode, and since I can firebend…" I just shrugged and fought the urge to smirk. It had still been a close call after all.

"And then? How did he die?" Kilara asked with a tremble in her voice.

Furrowing my brows I turned around to throw the water from the pot into the sink, and Kilara helped me to get the last bit out of the pot without me needing to get a sieve.

"That was when I disguised myself as a soldier and used Zhao's ship to come to the North Pole. He thought me dead and Uncle informed me about every move he made. Anyway, at the North Pole, I tried to kidnap the Avatar which didn't work. Instead, they tied me up. Zhao killed the moon spirit and my uncle fought his soldiers to get to him, but Zhao made for a run, but I got rid of the ropes that were binding me and chased Zhao down. I wanted to show him that I was not weak, not easy to get rid of. I hoped he would be afraid that I was still alive. And I wanted revenge. So we fought, running through the city which was still under siege and then… we stood on a bridge and the water beneath us began to glow. The water rose, shaped into two hands and aimed to grab us. I managed to roll out of the way, but Zhao wasn't that lucky. I even reached out to save him, but he was already too far away and the hand pulled him under water. The glow vanished after that. My uncle told me that the Avatar fused with the ocean spirit and defeated the whole Navy. It was a huge glowing koi made of water, so I guess that the Avatar and the ocean spirit killed Zhao."

Turning the noodles with the vegetables my thoughts wandered to the princess who had sacrificed herself to become the new moon spirit. The Avatar had maybe saved the North Pole, but she had saved the world.

Kilara was quiet for so long that I manged to finish the sauce. When she didn't say anything after I had put our bowls on the table, I frowned at her.

"Is everything alright? You see now I didn't kill him and…"

She shook her head. "No, everything's fine. I just… Some part of me wished you would have."

I blinked at her in shock. "What?"

Taking a deep breath she came to the table, but didn't sit down, only looking me straight in the eye. "Admiral Zhao killed my mother."

Swallowing I blinked and tried to figure out how to react. I lowered my head, looking at my feet. "I'm sorry," I said lowly, my voice a bit more hoarse.

A hand touched my arm and I looked up. Kilara stood in front of me, a small smile on her face. "It's okay. Well, no, it's not, but you don't have to be sorry. It's just that… When I first heard that you killed this admiral I didn't want to believe it. You have told me that you had never killed anybody and I wanted to believe you, but when I found out that it was him who had killed my mother, the thought that you had killed him… It somehow made it more bearable." Sighing she looked down. "But it's okay. You didn't have to kill, but he's still dead. Murdered by the ocean spirit whose mate he had killed and whose people he had looked down on. I think that is very fitting," she added darkly, narrowing her eyes at a spot behind my shoulder.

"You're right. It is very fitting," I agreed, letting her hold my arm, until her thoughts came back to the present.

She took a deep breath and tried to smile as she sat down on a cushion. In an enthusiastic way she grabbed her chopsticks. "Oh, I can't wait to taste that! It smells really good, by the way. I'm so hungry. I hope this will be worth the long wait."

"Hey, I did make it very fast," I complained grumbling which made Kilara laugh.

The door to the apartment opened and Uncle stepped in. He stopped in his tracks, his eyes becoming wide, before a small grin appeared on his face and a mischievous glint entered his eyes. He would so make me suffer, I could even smell it.

"Now, nephew. You haven't told me that you were taking the lady to our apartment." His grin became wider. "If I had known I would have stayed away the whole night." He winked at us.

Blood rushed through my cheeks, making me absolutely red in the face like a tomato.

"Uncle!" I hissed. "Stop it!"

He pretended not to have heard me and came closer, sitting next to us on the table. His smile was bright white, as he beamed at Kilara. "But now that I'm here, we may as well get to know each other! My name is Mushi and I am Lee's uncle. Now what is your name?"

Kilara's eyes were as wide as plates and she stared at my uncle in most amazed wonder. I cleared my throat and she blinked. "I… uh… my name is Kilara Huang," she said, bowing quickly.

Uncle took a deep breath. "Oh, you don't happen to be related to the famous grain field owner, do you?"

Kilara opened her mouth, her face completely blank and I finally understood that it was just really strange for her to meet the Dragon of the West, who behaved as if she and I, the banished prince of the Fire Nation, had a date.

"Uncle, this is not a date!" I snapped, crossing my arms.

He looked at me with an expression as if I had just broken his heart or kicked a baby. "It is not?"

"No!" I exclaimed. "And Kilara…" I took a deep breath, preparing for the worst. "She knows who we are."

I've never seen Uncle's eyes go that wide and his eyebrows nearly disappeared under his hat. He gaped at me and shot Kilara a glance. "She knows everything?"

I nodded firmly. "Yep. So, Kilara. This is my uncle Iroh, the older brother of my father Ozai and father of my departed cousin Lu Ten," I introduced them, waiting patiently for them to do something.

Kilara was still blinking and looked alternating from me to Uncle who also looked a bit thunderstruck.

After I cleared my throat again both seemed to be able to get a grip on themselves.

Kilara placed her hands together in a traditional Fire Nation bow of respect and bowed lowly to my uncle. "It is a great honour meeting you, General Iroh."

Uncle bowed back in an Earth Kingdom way and smiled. "The honour is mine, Kilara Huang, but I am, in fact, a retired general." He looked up at me and grinned. "What a remarkable young lady you have found yourself. It is a shame that this is not a date," he said, sighing and sounding sadder than he could possibly be about this.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, Kilara's great, but we're friends," I said defensively.

Uncle had noticed what it was that was in our bowls and beamed. "Ah, but that means that I can sit with you without interrupting something! Zuko, is that fried duck in there? Is still something left in the kitchen?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I knew you would like some."

He put his hands in his sleeves together and stood up. "I am lucky to have such a caring nephew."

A smile appeared on my face and I was glad that he considered himself lucky to have me.

Kilara was watching me and my smile vanished. "What?"

She grinned. "Nothing."

Uncle came back with his own bowl and rubbed his hands while he made a lot of "Ha" sounds. "Oh, the famous Omashu pasta! I must say I am very curious to know how it tastes! A very good choice for the opening day, Zuko."

"Thank you, Uncle. Please enjoy!"

Kilara smiled at me and began eating, groaning suddenly. I looked up from my own food in surprise. "Oh, this is really good!" she said after swallowing. "Fried duck! What genius invented that? And what did you put into the sauce?! It's like… a firework or a rainbow of flavours!"

I stared at her wide eyed, not knowing what to say, when Uncle began to chuckle. "My, how it delights my heart to see a young lady enjoying her food! You are quite right, Kilara, this is really delicious. Normally Zuko's cooking isn't better than ok, but I guess he just put my secret ingredient in."

I blushed again and wanted to deny everything, but Kilara chuckled slightly. "Either that or I just really like the flavour of awkwardness," she said teasing, looking at me.

"I am not awkward!" I growled and took a bite of my noodles.

Uncle didn't help, since he burst out into loud and amused laughter. "Oh, you two have to tell me exactly just how you met and how it is that you know who we are, Kilara."

Kilara looked at me with a questioning frown and I shrugged. I didn't think it was a bad idea to tell Uncle how we met, now that Kilara was here and not a memory anymore. So I just smiled, nodded and started to talk how I had broken into her uncle's kitchen, feeling rather embarrassed and ashamed of myself.

I knew Uncle had not approved of my ways to deal with our situation, but he didn't react in any disappointed manner, only curious and amused.

Kilara was actually doing most of the talking and I couldn't help but smile as I noticed that they got greatly along with each other.


	9. Chapter 9

_Hey, sorry for the longer wait! There was a heat wave here and I had a headache for days, I couldn't even look at a computer screen and yeah... whatever. The next chapter is there, starting right where the last one ended. Enjoy reading and tell me what you think!_

_I do not own Avatar The Last Airbender, nor its characters. The only characters I own are my OCs. _

* * *

**Chapter Nine**

**Puberty Is Evil**

_**Zuko**_

I kind of had the feeling that Uncle was starting to love Kilara.

Not in a romantic way, of course. Eww, gross.

But he did praise everything she did, while she was talking about how she had helped me at her uncle's house and how she had decided to follow me in order to warn me about the soldiers. Uncle was humming a lot, stroking his beard a lot and nodding a lot, all signs of him listening intently and thinking about what he listened to.

But when Uncle found out that it was thanks to her that he was still alive he looked as if he wanted to adopt Kilara and make her stay forever, get her everything she wanted and spoil her like a princess. He had the same look with little kittens sometimes.

Only now there was a lot of awe in his eyes, too.

He bowed so deeply to her that his forehead touched the floor and Kilara became red like beetroot, stuttering that he didn't have to do that.

"I'll be in your debt forever, Kilara Huang. My life continues thanks to you and I'll do everything to express the depth of my thankfulness." He got up and smirked slightly. "After all, I have a highly endangered nephew I have to take care of."

I frowned. "Highly endangered?"

"Oh, yes!" Uncle nodded vigorously. "You have a real talent for getting yourself into trouble, nephew, because of your impulsiveness and recklessness."

Well, I couldn't argue against that, since he was very right. So I just crossed my arms, frowned and snorted.

Kilara chuckled openly again, her eyes sparkling.

"But maybe you'll have a good influence on my nephew, Kilara, since you seem to think everything through," Uncle went on and raised an eyebrow at her.

She shrugged. "I don't know. Sometimes he seems too stubborn for his own good."  
Blood rushed into my cheeks, as I remembered that I had first refused her help every time. "You're pretty stubborn yourself!" was everything I could think of.

Kilara smirked, crossing her arms. "Yeah, you're right. But I'm only stubborn in the right situations."

Rolling my eyes I decided that I had enough teasing from them for today, grabbed their bowls, stood up and walked over to the sink. "I'm going to do the dishes," I muttered.

"Did I say something wrong?" Kilara's worried voice sounded.

I tensed, since I wasn't really angry or hurt or something. My annoyance was at a rather banal level.

"Oh, don't you worry. He's always been very sensitive," Uncle whispered loud enough for me to hear.

I sighed and turned the tap on to fill the sink with water. I put my hand in to warm it, since it was easier to clean dishes with warm water. Nearly every household in the Fire Nation did have warm water, but I guess I should be lucky having any water supply at all.

"Wait, I'll help you," Kilara said, suddenly standing right next to me.

I turned around in surprise and watched as she bent the water to wash the bowls and chopsticks. She was done in a few seconds.

Grabbing the tea cloth I frowned. "How did you learn to do that? You had servants and don't even know how to cook."

Kilara folded her arms and shifted her weight to her right leg. "I've done dishes my whole life! Before my brother and I moved to my uncle we had a very normal life and did everything by ourselves. And my parents never showed me how to cook."

"Where had you lived before, if I might ask?" Uncle asked, standing now in the kitchen, too.

Kilara was bending the water again to clean the frying pan. "I was born in Gaoling and lived on Kyoshi and in Makapu Village."

Uncle clapped his hands enthusiastically. "That is fabulous! I've been to every of those places! Kyoshi is a really nice spot to live in."

"Yeah, it was really calm and nice while I lived there. But it became rather difficult, after someone burnt the village down."

I tensed all up and flinched, lifting my shoulder, fighting the urge to curl into myself. I'd rather not think about whatever stupid things I had done in the past.

Although I had been very relieved knowing that it hadn't been my fault her mother had died. It had been Zhao, not me.

"I'm sorry," I murmured, quickly adding "Nobody got hurt, though. Only my crew and I got Unagi vomit on ourselves."

"That's just water," Kilara said unimpressed.

"It comes out of its mouth!" I argued, raising my voice slightly, feeling relieved that she obviously had just wanted to tease me and not to insult or accuse me.

"Fire comes out of a dragon's mouth, too. It's still not vomit!"

I pushed my lower lip forward, folded my arms and frowned deeply, after I had put the last of the dishes into the cupboard.

"She's quite right there, nephew," Uncle said, chuckling. "Ah, but Kilara! When I have been to Makapu Village I met a great fortune teller! Tell me, did the nice lady tell you anything about your future?"

The smile which appeared on Kilara's lips seemed to be shy and proud at the same time, while she grabbed one of her braids and played with the end of it. "Uh… yeah… She did tell me that there would be a great career in front of me. That I would be important, but I never really thought about it. But actually, that's exactly what I want," she added, almost in a whisper.

I stared at her in wonder, asking myself what she could want to do by becoming important.

"Is that the only thing the fortune teller told you?" Uncle prompted, twisting his mouth and raising one eyebrow at her.

Now she turned a bright shade of pink. "Uh… no. You see… Every girl in Makapu Village only wants to know who she is going to marry and how many children she will have. So Aunt Wu wanted to tell me that, too, but I interrupted her, since I didn't want to know," she declared, crossing her arms and lifting her nose a bit.

I bit my lower lip, trying not to grin, since she really did remind me of a small child then.

"So you didn't hear anything else?" Uncle asked again.

Kilara turned to look at him, looking bewildered. "Only the normal 'a great romance with a powerful bender' stuff. That's when I interrupted her. Not every girl In Makapu Village can marry a powerful bender! Although she did tell me that he would have small feet. But I don't really believe in those things. Maybe spirits know the future and maybe some humans, too, but reading cracks from bones in a fire is a highly improbable way of telling the future, in my opinion."

"Oh, but that is a very ancient and sacred way of seeing the future," Uncle exclaimed, sounding a bit offended as if Kilara would have insulted tea.

I rolled my eyes and watched them talk.

"Don't you know what it means? It is delivered that the dead can see the future on Earth as long as something like one of their old body's bones remains here. And when these are burnt the dead soul feels that and can speak through the cracks in the bone to the humans. One only has to know how to read the cracks." Uncle then chuckled lightly. "And isn't it still nice to know that your future will be happy?"

Kilara shrugged. "If it will happen, then yes, of course that would be nice. But there are more important things in life than marriage."

"What do you want to do instead?" Uncle asked curiously.

I leaned a bit forward, since I wanted to know, too.

"Something important," Kilara stated, nodding to herself. "After… well, after I saved your life I felt that my old life, the life my uncle wanted for me, would just leave me empty, without any purpose. But I had saved a life. The life of a very important person and I knew that I could do more. That's why I'm studying. I want to… help people."

"What do you want to study?" I asked without thinking and tried not to look surprised at my question. Of course I wanted to know, but normally I let Uncle do the speaking and asking.

"Economics, politics and history," she replied, eying me with curiosity.

"Ah…" Uncle stroked his beard again and had a very thoughtful expression on his face.

"That's a lot," was the smartest thing that I thought of saying.

Kilara laughed quietly. "Yeah, you're right. But I know I can do it. I'm already learning so much in my University Maturity Degree course."

"A female student of a university is in the Earth Kingdom rather seldom, I believe," Uncle said.

"You're right. But my professor treats me like every other student."

I relaxed at her words, since the Water Tribe and Earth Kingdom crap about weak women made me furious.

Actually, normally I always wanted to laugh, since women had always been rather frightening to me.

But after I had heard Kilara talking about it, it seemed rather unfair to me. She did seem really intelligent to me, she even did know plants which caused hallucinations. Who knew that stuff? If she wasn't allowed to study when one could see that her heart was so much in it, that it beat so much for learning, then there was something really wrong going on here.

Uncle shook his head, humming again. "No, it is just not fair how women are treated in these lands. They always have to be more than intimidating to get some respect." He took a deep breath and smiled sadly. "The Fire Nation is certainly not perfect, rather worse than the other nations, but we never looked down on women. There had been an era of peace before the Great War, in which the role of the woman became a bit more domestic, but even the Sun Warriors, the first firebenders, did not have any sexist views."

Kilara jerked up. "The Sun Warriors? I've read about them! They did live on a rather remote island, didn't they?"

Uncle nodded. "Yes, it was not far from the Western Air Temple."

"Were there really dragons?" Kilara asked, almost whispering.

I contorted my face, thinking about why Uncle was called the Dragon of the West.

"Oh yes, they existed. But they were hunted and each one of them was killed. They are as extinct as the Air Nomads." He hung his head and pressed his eyes shut. "My nation has done a lot of useless killing. I deeply apologise for that." He bowed to her again and Kilara pressed her lips together.

"Uh… thank you. Very much, I mean. That is nice."

As Uncle stood straight again his eyes twinkled and I was still trying to figure out which spark it was I could see when he said: "But Kilara, dear, please tell me, if you ever would want to marry would you be appalled by a bender of fire?"

Kilara frowned. "Nooo… My grandmother is from the Fire Nation, and I don't really have a reason not to like you two, so no."

"And can you handle a hot temper?" he continued asking and I felt like doom would approach us.

Kilara frowned even more, twisting her mouth. "Uh… I think so, since my brother has a rather hot temper, I'd say."

"Huh, really? And… what about scars? Do you mind touching any?"

My eyes wanted to pop out, my jaw wanted to hit the floor, my fist wanted to collide with my face and dragons, why wasn't I an earthbender, so I could just disappear into the ground?

I was so caught up with my own reaction and embarrassment that I didn't notice Kilara's reaction at all. Which did annoy me later.

"Uncle!" I exclaimed and stepped forward, grabbing Kilara's wrist and pulling her out of the kitchen with me.

"What?" an innocent sounding Uncle wanted to know.

"You're crazy! We're out of here!" I declared, marching towards the door, grabbing my key and quickly putting my shoes on.

"But nephew, I am simply caring about your future!"

I let out a low growl as I turned around to glare at him. "You don't have to! It is my business and I can find my destiny all by myself, thank you very much!"

Kilara stood next to me, staring at Uncle, looking stunned. I picked up her shoes, opened the door and pulled her behind me out of the apartment whose door I slammed louder than it was necessary.

"I can't believe he just said this," I muttered, giving Kilara her shoes.

Blinking she took them, before a large grin appeared on her face. Bewilderment flooded through me at the sight of her bursting into laughter. She held her sides and leaned even forward, while she was laughing louder than I'd ever heard her laugh. It was really loud and throaty, no delicate and melodic laugh as these from the Fire Nation noble women I had met as a child.

I folded my arms in front of my chest and scowled down at her. What the magma was so funny?

Her laughter ebbed a bit out, now high short bursts and then she actually wiped tears out of her eyes. "I'm sorry," she said, breathing hard. "This must have been really uncomfortable for you."

"You think?" I snapped, not knowing what had just caused my anger.

Kilara took a step forward, laying a hand on my shoulder and leaning a bit forward again, chuckling a bit. Her head hung low, while she tried to calm herself.

I didn't move and narrowed my eyes.

When she got a grip on herself, she took a step backwards, put her shoes on and brushed a few loose strands of hair out of her face. "Poooh! I can't remember when I had laughed so hard the last time."

"I'm glad you did find something to laugh about," I said dryly, walked past her and down the stairs.

"Hey! Wait up!"

When I was finally outside of the house, I walked to the pavement, turning around, waiting for her. She seemed to be a bit offended at the fact that I had just walked away from her and I couldn't help but feel a bit smug at this. Somehow I felt like I had won something.

"I'm sorry I laughed, it's just…," she paused, as if not knowing what to say next. Her hand made a vague gesture. "You know my uncle always wanted me to get engaged. It was awful and annoying, since it kind of had been daily routine. But I forgot how that felt like and now, your uncle of all people tried the exact same thing. Not just that he's your uncle, but because of who you are," she said quieter, looking around. "I just would have never expected that, but somehow it was much more convincing than my uncle's attempts to accept a suitor."

My eyes widened and my mouth stood slightly open.

"What?" she asked frowning.

I took a deep breath, straightening myself and trying to get my fast beating heart under control. "Did you just say that you'd rather marry me than any of your previous suitors?"

Kilara's eyes widened slowly, then closed again and she quickly shook her head. "NOOO! No! I definitely did not say that! I meant I would be rather pushed towards marriage by your uncle than mine. Okay, that's also not true," she murmured and shook her head, her hands making non sensible gestures. "I just would not have expected your uncle to do to me what mine has always done."

I quickly nodded, shoving all thoughts of marrying Kilara far back in my mind. "Yeah, that might have been a shocking experience for you."

She chuckled a bit. "It was rather funny. But you looked really shocked!"

"I was!" I admitted, throwing my hands in the air. "He has never gone that far yet! Uncle always tries to set me up with some girl, but he never talked about marriage before!"  
"Wow. He must really want to have grandnephews or –nieces," Kilara chuckled, looking back at the house.

I followed her gaze to look at the window of our living room. Why had he asked about the scar? Girls had never acted appalled by that. Song had even tried to touch my scar and Jin had seen it from the beginning, but had still asked me out! Not the other way around.

But… no other girl had ever tried to come near me. I frowned, wondering why. Well, I had always worn my armor and there had been soldiers around me the whole time. My ship had been there, or the komodo rhinos. I ran my hand through my hair, asking myself if there had been another difference to me before the North Pole.

My eyes widened and I looked up. I had more hair now. Had the phoenix plume not looked good? It had been my normal hairstyle since I had seen the play _Hiroto and Hiroko_. It was about twins of the royal family. Princess Hiroko was bespoken to a duke of an island, in order to keep him from starting a civil war, since he wanted more power in the country. But Hiroko disappeared the night before the wedding. While everyone thought that Hiroko just didn't want to marry the duke, Hiroto knew that his sister would never run away from her duty. He suspected the duke to have kidnapped her in order to have a reason to start a civil war, since marrying into the royal family wasn't enough to him. So Hiroto set out on the mission to find his sister, met a lot of interesting people, dragons and got nearly eaten by a spirit. In the end, though, he found his sister and they found out that the duke's brother had her kidnapped, since he wanted the civil war, not the duke himself. So the duke's brother got imprisoned and Hiroko could marry the duke.

Even though the Ember Island Players had performed the play really badly, Haruto had still become a hero to me. Not because he still believed in his sister and wanted to rescue her, but because of all the obstacles he had to face to achieve his goal. Long story short, the actor had worn a phoenix plume, and I had wanted to dress up as Haruto and had actually come to like this hairstyle. Somehow it had been easier to make than a topknot.

I looked around, wondering what to do now. We couldn't just stand outside like beggars and it was already getting dark. Maybe I should make sure that Kilara went home…

"By the way, the scar is not the least bit appalling," she suddenly said.

I blinked at her, since I hadn't expected her to say anything, but then I finally understood the meaning of her words.

She smiled shyly. "In fact, it does make you look more interesting. Without it you would just be another handsome face. But with it you look unique…"

I stared at her, feeling my cheeks heat up and my heart beating faster. She found me handsome?

A dark pink colour appeared on her cheeks and she looked on the ground. "Yeah, forget what I just said. I, uh… thanks… for dinner and the evening and that you're not planning to conquer the city…" She took a step back, pointing over her shoulder. "I should probably get going. My brother and my father… they, uh… you know…" She shrugged, even lifting her lower arms, turning her palms up and nearly fell over her own feet. "Whoa!"

I made a quick step forward, putting my arms around her and pulling her back on her feet and in my direction. Her hands had clasped the fabric of my tunic and my mind went blank, panicking.

_Hugging a girl, hugging a girl, a girl is close, a girl is close!_

Kilara lifted her face to look up at me and blushed.

Dammit, she was really close!

"Uh… thanks. I'm good now," she said, her voice sounding raspy.

With wide eyes I realised that I was still holding her and quickly took a step back, letting her go. "Uh yeah. You're welcome."  
She smiled again, moving backwards again. I wanted to tell her that this was not a good idea, but somehow my tongue didn't seem to work.

"Goodbye then. Until next time. I'll come to the tea shop. Soon. And very often," she said grinning and I had to smile, since I liked the idea.

"That would be great, but let's not say goodbye here." I walked up to her and offered her my arm to hold on to. There had been certain manners I had learned as a child as being part of the royal family and here in Ba Sing Se, where not everything was built of metal and there was no ocean around and not only men surrounding me, I got to actually use these. "I'll walk you home."

Kilara looked surprised, but didn't hesitate to hook her hand into my arm. "Thanks. But that will take a while. First, we have to mount a train at the train station, then get out at the middle ring and then walk to my house. It will probably take an hour, maybe even more."  
I shrugged and continued walking. "I've walked for longer times already."

"When?"

"From a forest back to a port city, where my ship had docked."

"Didn't you also have to walk to get into the forest?"

I grimaced slightly. "Yeah, I was on a river boat. Then there was a fight with pirates and the Avatar's group and… well, the pirates stole my river boat, because the Avatar stole their ship, and yeah. Uncle and I had to walk back." I wouldn't go too much into detail, now that we were in the open. I had no idea if what had happened to Jet could happen to me, too, if I talked about the war, but I didn't want to risk it. Besides, Kilara had already told me that the war was not to be mentioned in Ba Sing Se.  
"Are you talking about the same pirates who almost killed you?" Her voice was icy and her grip on my arm became firmer.

Feeling surprised I looked down at her. "Uh… yeah."  
"Well, they should be glad they're not here, otherwise I would fright them to death personally," she growled out darkly.

Frowning I blinked. "How would you do that? And why?"

"Well, because they wanted to kill you, dammit!" she hissed, leaning a bit in my direction. "And for the how… I don't think I can answer that question."  
I tensed. "What? Why not?" Why couldn't she tell me that?

"You've got your secrets and I've got mine," she stated firmly, not looking at me.

I kept frowning at her, but when I noticed that I wasn't changing anything like that, I sighed and looked forward again, thinking about the way we still had to walk and directed her to turn right on the next junction.

The streets were dead empty, but the city still seemed alive. Everywhere was light from the houses' windows or street lanterns and from some houses even came music and laughter.

Kilara and I walked in silence for a short while and when I looked down at her, she seemed to smile at the life which was heard from some of the houses. She even hummed to one of the songs.

"You know that song?" I asked, which was an idiotic thing to do, since she had just hummed it, so of course she knew it!

"Uh, no, actually not. But I've heard it about eight houses before and it's not that difficult. It's really catchy," she explained with a matter of fact voice.

Blinking I actually tried to listen to the music and thought that I recognised it from somewhere, but that could also only be my imagination.

"Do you like music?" I wanted to know.

"Yeah," Kilara said, sounding a bit shy. "I play the xiao and I like to sing. What about you?" Her turquoise eyes grew wide as she looked at me questioningly.

"Uhm… I know how to play the tsungi horn, but I haven't practised for years now."

"Oh. Why is that?"

"I kind of had other things on my mind," I said evasively.

"Like capturing the Avatar?"

I frowned, trying to detect judgment in her voice, but it was sounding rather neutral. "Yes, like that."

"Hm." She took a deep breath. "I always wanted to know why you did that, but I'd prefer not to talk about it here in the open."

"You're right. Someone could hear us," I agreed, but also because I didn't actually want to tell her the answer to that.

"Yeah, the Dai Li can be everywhere and I'd rather not see you going into jail."

I must be sick again, because my stomach did a curious hop at her words. Wow, she didn't want to see in prison. Well, I didn't want to see her going into prison either too, but I felt the same way about my neighbours, the other waiters at the shop and most of the customers, so that was not a big deal. So calm down, Zuko!

Clearing my throat I looked around again, but couldn't see a thing. The street lanterns did give us light, but they also produced shadows, shadows in which those agents could move perfectly unseen.

"So, I guess it's time for the unimportant questions now!" Kilara said grinning.

When I looked down on her, I just raised an eyebrow at her delighted face. "Like what?"  
"What's your favourite colour?"

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, you're right. That's not an important question."  
"We could call them safe questions if you want."

"No, it's okay." I lifted my left hand to scratch my head. "I actually don't really know which colour I like the most. I like all of them."

Kilara shot me an unimpressed and offended glare. "You can't just answer a question like that! 'I like every colour'," she impersonated me, making her voice deeper. "That's boring! Come on, there has to be something, Zu-… uh… Lee."

Normally I would get pretty fast annoyed with such an insistent person, but it didn't bother me one bit. I had absolutely no experience in dealing with a friend, after all. A friend my age, who knows who I am, that is. "Alright, I… uhm… like the colours of the sunrise. The blue of the sky, the gold of the sun, the red and orange of the sun when it just rises and still looks tiny. But I also like the greyish blue of storm clouds. And the turquoise of the ocean, when there's white sand underneath. Satisfied?"

"Mostly. That was wonderful! I wouldn't have thought you'd be able of such eloquence!" she laughed.

I frowned. "Of course I can be. I know a lot of words!"

Kilara gave me a slight nudge on my arm. "Relax! It's really too easy with you! And I wasn't even trying to tease you!"

I scowled at her and she rolled her eyes. Suddenly she brightened up. "Okay, hey, I've got an idea! Try to tease me!"

"What?"  
"Come on, try it!"

I looked down at the pavement, feeling rather uncomfortable. I had never teased anybody. I had loved my mother too much to even think about it and Azula and father I had clearly feared too much. And nearly everything what uncle had done had made me angry, so no room for teasing.

"I don't know how," I admitted quietly. "I've never done that before."

I felt another nudge and gazed at Kilara who had let go of my arm and instead draped it over my shoulders, as if she weren't a head shorter than me. A smile tugged at my lips.

"That's okay. You just have to find something about me where I'm super sensitive and will explode," she explained, gesturing with her right hand. "I know one thing you already know."

I frowned. "What is it?"  
"You can probably come up with it by yourself. Just think about what we've talked about today."

"We've talked about a whole lot of stuff. You don't expect me to remember everything of it, do you?" My brows rose, while I was looking sceptically at her.

"Nooo, but remember that there's some way I could have helped you with secret missions?"

"Reading information?"

"Yeah, exactly. I love reading. Be it information, for studying or just for fun. You think reading is boring. It's perfect to tease me!" she exclaimed happily and I felt more and more confused.

Why would anyone want to be teased?

"Uh, if you say so." I scratched my head again, probably searching for the part of my brain which was responsible for teasing.

"Okay. See. Now you've got your topic. You just have to wait until it comes up next and then you'll have to think about a funny and eloquent way to make me notice what you think of reading," she instructed me further, sounding encouraging.

"Uh… But you already know what I think of reading. Why should I tell you that again?"

"To tease me!" Suddenly she stepped in front of me, her arm still half on my shoulders, so that she was kind of hugging me and pulling my face down.

I stiffened almost immediately.

Kilara smiled softly at me. "Okay, I get that you don't know anything about friendships. You don't have to tell me anything, but I think that you never really had a friend. Or at least not the one I want to be. So I'm telling you that you don't have to fear anything from me. I will always help you as I have already done and whatever you'll say I won't hate you. I might get mad, I might get angry or splash you with water, but that will pass."

Swallowing I stared into her eyes, so turquoise, so honest, so kind. Why did she have to be so close? Dis she even know that she was this close? Did she want to be that close? Was she trying to get me to… feel something? Like the desire to kiss her?

Oh dragons, had I just seriously thought that? There I was, having my first friend and I had to ruin it by thinking about kissing her!

Kilara frowned and looked on the ground. "I'm sorry if you feel like I'm pushing you somewhere you don't want to go. Of course you don't have to tease me. I just thought it might make you feel better about me teasing you."  
Taking a deep breath I shoved anything that had to do with the fact that Kilara was a girl far back in my mind. "No, it's okay," I sighed.

Kilara let go of my shoulders and I could finally stand straight again. But somehow I missed the touch.

"You're right. I never had a friend and I never learned how to tease a friend. Insults or threats have always been serious, whenever I've heard them," I added quietly, looking on the ground. I had already known that I had been kind of brainwashed by my nation's propaganda, but had I really missed so many normal things in my childhood?

Sighing I tried to think about Lu Ten again. He had been kind of a friend. And he had teased me. Maybe I could use him as a role model for friendships.

My hands were suddenly grasped and I was surprised at not feeling the urge to pull them away. Slowly I looked up into Kilara's eyes. She squeezed my hands and gave me a compassionate look. "Mine won't, I promise," she simply said, pressing her hands on mine, squeezing them again, before she let go.

She hooked her hand again into my arm and we continued making our way to the train station.

A smile spread on my lips, which wasn't really meant for anyone. It just appeared, expressing how safe and happy I felt. I was still getting used to it, but I didn't have to deal with frustration and anger anymore, so I could actually be relaxed and happy, but it was hard. After three years of living on anger and stubbornness happiness didn't come easily to me.

With uncle it did, but that was because I was so used to him. I knew him better than anyone else. But I couldn't really figure Kilara out, so trusting her was even more difficult.

But now it felt possible. I felt real. My life was here now and I would see Kilara more often and we would be friends, maybe even best friends. And since she was my first friend and would be my first best friend I totally had the right to grin like an idiot about it!

We walked for a while in companionable silence, until I could actually see the train station.

"Soooo what's your favourite colour?" I asked, feeling totally relaxed now.

She chuckled. "I thought you'd never ask. I like pale colours. White, light blue and pink are my favourite colours, I think. But every colour is beautiful. I also find purple truly fascinating, since it combines such different colours as red and blue, but it still looks beautiful. The fusion didn't make it ugly or strange."

I had never thought about that ever before. "Your answer sounded quite eloquent to me, too."

She shrugged. "Maybe," she grinned, before we climbed the stairs to the train.

The guards standing there seemed pretty bored and didn't spare us a second glance as they let us through, so we could wait at the platform.

"What exactly do you have to do in order to study? I mean, what is it that you're doing right now?" I asked, because I hadn't really got it when she had mentioned it before at the apartment.

Kilara explained to me that she had to get the UMDB first before studying and that there were special courses to get those. Hers was one about social sciences. It would only allow her to study social sciences, but that was okay for her, since she wasn't interested in the other subjects so much.

The train arrived, while Kilara talked about her professor and the other students in her class. We were the only passengers in our wagon, but that was okay for me. Maybe this way we could talk more openly, but I had no desire to interrupt Kilara, since it really interested me what she told me. I had never known such things about school and university, not even about the educational system in the Fire Nation.

Kilara told me how she met Denzai there and how he convinced her to join the drama club.

I had to think about my childhood and my mother, when Kilara mentioned the drama club.

"They are good, but their plays are a little bit too classy, I'd say. You know, pretty old and posh language, everything is totally exaggerated and they always got the typical hero, anti-hero thing going on. Denzai likes it, but he only gets to play trees in the background or servant number two or stuff like that. To me, the plays are just too boring. I still love acting, even exaggeratingly, but I'm worried about the audience."  
"The people from Ba Sing Se seemed to me as if they would actually like the old classy stuff. They seem to be pretty proud of their heritage." I said, leaning against the window.

"Yes, I know. But that doesn't mean there cannot be changes or progress!" she exclaimed, folding her arms and actually pouting. "I've once read a research paper by Liang Chao and it said that stagnation, so no progress in any area or even rejecting progress, leads to clear and simple death."

I blinked at her, not really knowing what to do of that. "Who is Liang Chao?" I asked.

"A scientist from Omashu. He studied social behaviour of any living beings and evolution." Kilara's voice sounded highly excited and her eyes seemed to gleam. "So by reading about history and studying humans and animals he found out that if a species does not adapt to a new environment, they die out."

I frowned deeply at her. "I don't think that Ba Sing Se has to worry about that yet. Isn't this just about theatre?"

Kilara rolled her eyes. "You're missing the bigger picture. Theatre, just like every art, is only a part of it. Ba Sing Se hasn't evolved for more than a hundred years. And there is something new outside the walls, something they are totally unprepared for," she whispered, glancing around.

When I finally got what she was saying I stiffened, not really wanting to think about that. "But the walls…"

Kilara shrugged, her eyes hard and sincere. "They are old relicts. They won't be able to hold forever. But never mind, I was telling you about the drama club. There's this poetry loving girl there who totally annoys me! She's trying to rewrite everyone's texts so that it will rhyme and even though everybody hates it, no one is doing anything about it!"

"Uhm…" I opened my mouth again, trying to come up with something. "That sounds really bad?" I tried.

"Not bad, really, just annoying. There are actually several girls in the drama club who also are in a poetry club and they all stick together, wear super expensive clothes and too much make-up. They look down on the other girls in the club, because we don't look like delicate flowers and 'don't speak with high pitched voices'!" she added in a high pitched voice, huffing and leaning against the window again.

"Uhm… Well, don't let them get to you?" I still needed to figure out how to do this friendship stuff.

"I'm trying! I…" Suddenly her voice cracked a bit and I looked at her, feeling shocked. "I mean, studying was always the most important thing for me to do! I never cared about girly stuff, when it didn't give me an advantage!"

I contorted my face at the thought that girly stuff might give someone an advantage. "What do you mean by that?"

"Well, when I want to look older or more serious, I do wear make-up. It is quite useful sometimes, for example at school, because of…" She sighed. "I'm sorry. I've been talking so much and am probably boring you to death."

"No, you're not," I replied without hesitating. "I wanted to know how your school is, but I also want to know about anything else."  
Kilara looked up at me, leaning a bit back, her eyes narrowed. "Are you serious?"

I felt slightly taken aback at the accusation of not being serious. I was always serious! "Of course I am!"

"But why would you be interested in that stuff? It's normal people stuff!"  
Swallowing I looked away. "Yeah, I know. But my life has never been normal and lately I've kind of wanted it to be normal. I want to know about normal things, what normal teenagers are doing and all that. Now I've got finally the chance to do so."

"Oh. I didn't think about that. I'm sorry," Kilara said and I looked back at her, smiling.

"It's okay. For normal people normal people stuff is probably rather boring."  
She chuckled a bit. "Sometimes. But I don't consider my life boring. I just thought that after everything you have seen and all the places you have been to…"

"That kind of was like an overload to me, actually. All those new places in such a short time…. That was a bit too much," I quietly admitted.

A hand was put on mine, which was squeezed. "You're here now. And since you're staying here, I guess you don't have to see a lot of new places anymore." Kilara looked pretty, smiling and eyes all honest and sincere. The bluish light from outside made her hair seem darker and her skin gleaming.

I smiled back, trying to gather my thoughts. "You're right. But that also means that you can tell me about your normal ordinary boring people stuff. You probably won't ever get a better listener."

Kilara chuckled again. "Probably, yeah. But I've got a lot of stuff on my mind. And I won't tell you everything if you don't tell me something about you."  
Narrowing my eyes I looked deep into her eyes, trying to figure out what she meant. I couldn't. "What do you mean?"  
"If something is bothering you or if there's some trouble or problem you don't know how to deal with. I'm a great listener, too," she said, grinning widely.

"I'll keep that in mind. With my luck you won't have to wait long until there's a problem coming up. There's always something bothering me!" I said, my voice rather calm.

"Is there something bothering you now?" Kilara asked, sounding concerned.

Hearing her worrying actually made me smile and I looked at her. "No, there's nothing bothering me now."  
Her smile widened, so that I could see her teeth and her eyes narrowed and her nostrils widened a bit, but she looked even prettier, smiling widely like this. I couldn't exactly tell, but I thought that she wasn't wearing any make-up, but her lips still looked pink and soft and…

Okay, maybe there was something bothering me: puberty. Puberty was really unwelcomed and really evil right now!

Before I could ask again about her normal and calm life, she quickly stood up, walking to the door. "We're almost there!"

Looking out of the window, I made my way to standing beside her and saw the smaller houses of the middle ring. It looked infinite, as if the whole world was made of small hills, streets and houses.

It looked so different from the capital, where the borders of the caldera are clearly visible, but no matter how much I strained my eyes I couldn't make out the wall. Maybe that was also because it was almost dark outside.

When we made our way outside my gaze kept falling on Kilara, who had a small smile on her lips and looked now and then up at the sky. There weren't many stars to be seen, but I could still make out some constellations. Truth be told, I didn't know any of them, since the sky in Ba Sing Se looked different from that west or east of the Earth Kingdom.

"What's your favourite meal?" Kilara asked suddenly.

Grinning I shook my head. "You are not going to like that answer! I don't have one. I eat a lot of things."

Kilara burst into laughter at that and I frowned at her. What was so funny?

"Yeah, totally. Remember when I packed a bag for you with food? You certainly don't eat a lot of things."

Well, she had a point there. "I meant meals. I like a lot of meals!"

She still giggled. "Fine, and what would you like to eat right now if you could just pick anything?"  
"I just ate something. I'm not hungry," I told her, feeling bewildered.

She really made a show of rolling her eyes now. "Gee, I meant hypothetically."

Narrowing my eyes I finally got it and felt blood rush into my cheeks. "Oh, uh… In that case, I'd probably go for fried potato pumpkins. With spicy okra sauce."  
"No meat?" Kilara asked.

I shrugged. "I can get here the same meat I used to eat as a child. It's all the other things that I miss. I mean the food here is great and delicious, but…"  
"The other food is your childhood," she said quietly, as if she felt the same way.

"Yeah", I said, feeling surprised.

"You know, on Kyoshi the people eat really simple meals. They have dumplings and bread, a few vegetables and fruits, meat and cheese. They cultivate mostly grain and bake a lot of things, also the best pastries. I miss that food, too, sometimes."

Somehow I felt like taking her hand, but I suppressed that feeling pretty fast.

"Would you pick that right now?" I asked instead.

"Hm-hm. Actually no. When I've been visiting your home last year I ate something brown which is sweet and bitter at the same time. There were cookies and pastries made of it, but I totally forgot what's it called! Do you know what I mean?"

There could actually only be one thing that she could mean. "Are you talking about chocolate?"  
"Oh yes! That was it! Thank you!" Kilara shouted, hugging me with one arm.

"Uh… You're welcome?"

"Yeah, chocolate. That was great! I'd totally pick that out of everything!" she sighed. "But I probably won't ever be able to eat it again!"

Not wanting to talk about anything related to politics I searched for another topic to talk about. "Do you have a favourite story?" I asked.

Kilara tapped her chin, thinking. "Not really. I really like love stories, but most of them end tragically and I hate this. Why can't they be happy at the end?"  
I chuckled. "Then you clearly read the wrong stories. Fire Nation love stories always have a happy ending."

She shot me a dead look. "I've seen _Two Lovers of Ember Island_ as a play and that did not have a happy ending."

Twisting my mouth I was thinking and found that she was right. "Okay, apart from that. But _Love Amongst The Dragons _has a happy ending. Even though the Dragon Emperor killed the Water Spirit, which is something I never understood. The Water Spirt was not evil, he was just cunning. In fact, it was his curse which helped the Dragon Emperor to become a better dragon and find love! But he still killed him!"

"Aha. I have no idea what you're talking about," Kilara replied in a dry tone.

I blushed slightly, since I hadn't got so worked up over anything fictional for years! "Well, the Dragon Emperor was a really fierce and arrogant dragon. He was mean and cast everyone away who was not worthy of his presence. But there was a blue female dragon who, and I have no idea why, still loved him. Then one day a Water Spirit came across the Dragon Emperor. The dragon was so put off by the Water Spirit that he insulted him and wanted to make him leave. But the Water Spirit instead transformed the Dragon Emperor into a human. The blue female dragon, I can't remember her name, followed the now human Dragon Emperor and helped him to live as a human. Only when the Dragon Emperor forgot about his arrogance and superiority and felt true confession for other people was he transformed back into a dragon. The Water Spirit appeared, wanting to be thanked, but instead the Dragon Emperor killed him and still got the blue female dragon in the end," I told her.

"That's not fair at all," Kilara exclaimed.

"See?" I asked, feeling a bit of rage building up inside of me.

"Wow, this Dragon Emperor seemed to be a real idiot! The Water Spirit is the real hero, in my opinion! He saw what the Dragon Emperor really was, but also what he could be. And he gets killed for that?"

I kicked at the ground. "Yeah, it never seemed fair to me. My sister and I used to re-enact the fight scene and she always got to be the Dragon Emperor," I grumbled. "That's why I always lost."

"I always lost against my brother, when we were playing hide and seek," Kilara said and I felt confused, since I didn't know what that was. But then again, the name probably explained it pretty well.

"There!" Kilara suddenly said, pointing at a house two houses further. "That's where I live."

My eyes widened and I looked down at her, feeling a bit sad that I would have to say goodbye now. But she had told me that she would visit. And I believed that Kilara was a person who kept her promises. Although she hadn't exactly promised.

"It looks nice," I said and really meant it. There was a tree in the garden behind the house and in the front of it several flowers and small bushes were growing.

Kilara nodded. "Yeah, it's okay. But my favourite house was actually the one in Makapu Village. It was simpler than the others, although I can't remember our house on Kyoshi."

I raised an eyebrow at her. "You remember the food from Kyoshi, but not what your house had looked like?"

Blushing slightly she stopped. "Yeah, uh… We should probably say goodbye here. My brother is probably waiting right behind the door for me to come back and if he sees you he'll behave like an idiot, not to mention what would happen if he recognised you," she said quietly.

Chewing on my lower lip I was wondering if she tried to get rid of me, because of the question I had asked her.

She smiled suddenly. "By the way, that was some decent teasing right now. About the food and the houses."  
"I wasn't trying to tease you…," I tried to apologise, but stopped talking when she chuckled.

"I know. It's okay."

Swallowing I stared down at her still delighted face, how she was looking up at me and playing with one of her two braids again. "Then, uh… bye. Have a safe journey home," she said and I had to smile.

"Thanks. You, uh, will come to the tea shop?"

"Yeah. Whenever I'll have the time. And because of school and studying I actually don't have that much time, but the next time I'll come will probably be around the same time as today. Late afternoon…"

I nodded, feeling heat in my cheeks and something fluttering in my stomach. I felt bewildered and afraid at how Kilara's presence affected me, but on the other hand, I felt just drawn to her. For example, I really wanted to hug her now. And friends did things like that, didn't they? I could actually hug her and it'll be okay and not weird at all.

"And thanks for the meal and walking me home." Her mouth stayed open, as if she had wanted to add something, but she closed it again, smiling instead.

I fought the urge to rub my neck. "No problem."

The next second I was really glad that I had not rubbed my neck, because Kilara had taken a step closer to me and hugged me and if my right arm would have been lifted, it would have felt strange.

Blinking, but quickly gathering my senses I hugged her back around her middle.

At that she actually seemed to snuggle closer. Her face touched my throat and collarbones and I could feel her breasts against my rips which made me feel awkward, but somehow energised, too. It certainly got my fantasy working.

I concentrated on taking deep breaths and not to let anything show her that I had really bad thoughts about her. I was pretty sure that this was not okay in a friendship. But hey, I was sixteen years old and had never really felt interested in girls because of lack of opportunities, experience and knowledge. So it was probably normal to start feeling attracted to a girl who was nice, funny and pretty and actually liked me. Yeah. It had to be normal.

My whole body was still tingling and heating up and I fought the urge to pull Kilara closer to me. I perceived a little of her flowery scent which also reminded me of tea and had to hinder myself from asking her what it was.

Just like her body felt soft against mine her hair felt soft against my skin and tickled a little bit. I wondered if it would be okay to bury my face in her hair.

Instead I just laid my chin on her head and relaxed slightly.

"I wouldn't have thought that you're a hugging person," she murmured and her breath against my skin sent a shiver down my spine.

"Me neither," I said in a raspy voice.

She squeezed me lightly with her arms, before she drew back a bit to look me in the eye. My arms were still around her waist and it was really hard to focus on her eyes when her pink soft looking lips were right underneath them.

Dragons, I had never felt the urge to kiss a girl so badly!

If Kilara knew what I was thinking she'd probably run away as fast and far as she could.

Swallowing I couldn't help it but staring at her lips, which were slightly parted, had a natural pink colour and looked plump and very kissable.

When I looked back into Kilara's eyes they seemed to be wider than I had ever seen them and she blinked a few times, but did not step back. Although she had drawn away, her arms were also still around me and our thighs touched lightly through our tunics. But that meant nothing, since she could draw away every second now.

I made my decision, lifting my right hand, gently put it on one side of her neck, my fingers touching her hair ad I quickly bent down and kissed her.

Closing my eyes I concentrated on the feeling of her lips. They were soft and plump, just how they had looked like and her skin felt smooth, too.

Sensations that I had never felt before coursed through my body, prickling and shaking through me. I felt myself going a bit weak in my knees and lightheaded.

The desire to kiss her more deeply, to dive my tongue into her mouth and to press her body firmer against mine woke so fast that I nearly groaned and actually did it. But I was cautious and simply caressed her lips with mine, tracing them and pressing a bit down on them.

My heart beat fast out of desire but also out of fear. What if she pushed me away?

Kilara's arms moved between our bodies and her hands clutched at my tunic, forming fists.

Just when I wanted to deepen the kiss she pulled back, her eyes wide, her lips still parted and all I wanted to do was kissing her again, when she let go of my tunic and took a step back.

Her hand moved to her lips, as if she could not comprehend what had just happened, while she was staring at me.

With my arms hanging at my sides and Kilara two steps away from me my body felt cold and lonely. Okay, now my feelings started to become ridiculous.

I tried to breathe evenly and looked at her constantly, waiting for a reaction.

Her fingers moved down her lower lip, chin and throat before she sprayed them on her collarbones, clearing her throat. "Uhm… I… We… I should go. Got a lot to study tomorrow and it's already getting late! We… uhm… we can talk when I'll visit the tea shop again, alright? That'll probably be on Monday."

I nodded quickly. "Yeah, Monday sounds good." Uff! Couldn't I ever come up with something intelligent and funny to say?

A small smile appeared on her face. "Okay, then. Good night, Zu… Lee."

"Good night, Kilara."

Smiling she nodded again, before she turned around and walked to her house. I kept standing, until I saw that she had got into the house and the door closed again.

On my way home I felt as if I would walk on clouds, but sometime the clouds just let me fall through them. Was this going to be okay or had I just ruined or, at least, made awkward the first and best friendship I had ever had? Why was it so hard for me not to ruin things?

_**Kilara**_

My mind was still occupied with the sixteen year old firebender standing on my street, as I closed the door behind me.

What…?

"Kira!" Nanuk shouted, marching up the floor, his hands curled into fists.

I was rather glad having to deal with him now, since what had just happened was a bit too much for my mind to handle.

Feigning indifference I bent down to take my shoes off. "What?"

"Where the hell have you been?" Nanuk snarled.

"At Denzai's," I replied coolly, putting my shoes in the wardrobe and walking towards my room.

"I don't believe you," Nanuk hissed and I cursed his ability to detect any lying.

"It's true, though," I said nonchalantly.

"Why didn't you tell anyone you were leaving the house?" he demanded to know, falling in step beside me.

"I told dad."

Nanuk snorted. "Yeah, that's great. He's soooo reliable. When none of you appeared for dinner, and I couldn't find you anywhere, I went to ask dad. And he had no clue where you were!"

I frowned, feeling uneasy at the fact that dad had forgotten I had told him I was leaving. Well, I kind of had aimed at that, knowing he was barely listening or noticing anything while he was working, but still. That he hadn't even remembered me knocking…

"You know how he is," was everything I said.

"You know that, too!" Nanuk accused me when I opened the door to my room.

My annoying brother followed me, of course, and I didn't even try to shut the door in his face.

"Okay, fine," I admitted. "I knew he wouldn't really listen, but you don't have to make a fuss about that! I'm here and I'm okay!" I let myself fall on my bed, while Nanuk pressed his lips together and folded his arms.

"It would just be nice if you would once behave like an adult and not just do whatever you want to!" he growled low.

Frowning I leaned forward. "Not behaving like an adult? You are way more childish than I am!"

Nanuk rolled his eyes. "That's not the point here! You keep disappearing without anyone knowing why and for how long! Do you expect me to just accept that? Do you have any idea how much I'm worrying for you and how much it hurts when you're not telling me something! I'm telling you everything!" he shouted and the ground actually trembled.

"Nanuk…" I breathed, tears forming in my eyes, when I quickly got off the bed and hugged my brother strongly. "You don't have to worry so much," I whispered.

"How can I not?" he asked, his voice breathy. "When mum left she never came back."

I tensed and felt even more tears which were now falling down my cheeks as I snuggled closer, wanting to make him feel reassured. "I know. I know, Nanuk, and I'm so sorry," I whispered, smiling slightly when I felt him hugging me back.

"Besides, I was looking for you at Denzai's and a servant told me that you and Denzai had left hours ago," Nanuk added, his voice controlled, as if he didn't want to give too much emotion away.

"Oh, yeah." My face heated slightly up at the fact of being caught. "We went to the Jasmine Dragon," I said quietly.

Nanuk laid his hands on my shoulders and pushed me back, raising one eyebrow and looking sceptically at me. "You did?"

"Yeah," I said, feeling slightly annoyed that he didn't believe me. "I actually thought it would be kind of obvious where I was going, after I asked you to bring me there!"

His brow furrowed and he blushed slightly, as he let go of my arms and took a step back. "Yeah, I didn't think about that."

Raising an eyebrow I smirked at him. "See? Everything's fine and you know where I went."

My brother's scowled returned and he poked his index finger in my chest. "The next time you'll tell me where you're going!"

"Of course, dad," I said, smiling sweetly.

Nanuk only rose an eyebrow. "What? Without uncle around, someone has to be the dad here."

I chuckled slightly, but felt also a bit sad, since Nanuk was right. Our dad was less like a dad than uncle had been. Not because he didn't love us, but he told us once what he expected from us, and then he shut himself away in his study, paying more attention to things which were long gone or already dead than to his own children.

"So… Did you see Lee?" Nanuk asked, mischief glinting in this eyes.

My eyes widened and blood rushed to my cheeks, heating me and making me probably as red as a tomato.

Yeah, I had seen him and he had… kissed me. Dammit, Zuko had kissed me!

Swallowing I quickly cooled my features. "Yes. He was there."

"Aaaand?" Nanuk sang, chuckling evilly.

"We talked." My voice was as impassive as it could possibly get and I stared into my brother's eye, challenging him to tease me more.

"Sure you did," he said sarcastically and poked a finger in my cheek.

I snapped at his hand angrily.

"That's why your cheeks are flushed like that. Because you talked to him," he added, his sarcasm now nearly sounding evil.

"Believe whatever you want to believe," I told him coolly and walked over to my wardrobe. "If you don't mind, I'd like to get ready for bed now!"

Nanuk still cackled and my nostrils flared, while again heat spread in my cheeks. Moon, if only he had the wrong picture! But Zuko had kissed me and I hadn't stopped him! Urgh!

"Alright," my brother said, his voice strangely sweet. "While you're studying tomorrow, you don't mind me going to the Jasmine Dragon again, do you? I just want to ask Lee what you've talked about!"

I tensed, but relaxed quickly. That wouldn't be too bad. Zuko was clearly smart enough not to give anything away. "Suit yourself," I said nonchalantly and shrugged, while searching for a nightgown.

Nanuk murmured in an annoyed manner and I grinned to myself, glad that I had again survived my brother's teasing with a cool demeanour.

"Whatever, good night, Kilara. You'll better be here tomorrow morning!"

Rolling my eyes I sighed. "Yes. I promise."

After he closed the door I stopped looking for a nightgown and slumped down on my bed, pressing my palms to my eyes. This day… had just been totally crazy!

My heart beat faster, when I was thinking about Zuko kissing me, but was I feeling fear or affection? I mean I clearly liked him, I just wasn't sure if I liked him that way, and I didn't fear him, but what if this ruined our friendship? Or what would happen if I couldn't return his feelings? I was actually still thinking about Renshu sometimes (even though I didn't feel butterflies in my stomach anymore) and liking boys that way was still new to me!

Urgh! Why had Zuko to confuse me so much? We had just begun building a friendship and trusting each other and then that!

I didn't feel appalled by that, it's not like the kiss was bad or that I felt appalled by him. I certainly didn't. He had a really handsome face and a sweet smile. His hair was shiny black and if his hug had given any indication, I bet he had a lot of muscles under his tunic.

My cheeks heated up as I pictured him without a top.

No, no, no, no, no! This was not what I had wanted to think about!

I couldn't find anything really wrong about Zuko or something I didn't like (apart from his past he didn't want to talk about and the fact he burned Kyoshi Village to the ground), but… I couldn't actually say that I felt attracted to him. I mean, if I would then I would feel butterflies now, right? Or my heart would beat as fast as a squirrel mouse's. But I didn't feel any of this, only heat pooling through my body and my mouth drying out at the thought of him kissing me.

And then I started to wonder: What was it that he had felt? Had he felt what I had felt or had it been more? Why had he kissed me?

Great. Dealing with Zuko had never been easy, mostly because of who he was. But just as I had accepted that, there had to be another factor complicating everything once again!

* * *

_Dammit, Kira, how dare you not feel attracted to Zuko? (evil laughter) I guess you didn't see that coming, dear reader, did you?_

_But we'll get there. _

**_Reply to guest Aline about Chapter Eight:_**

_Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you liked it, since it was actually quite a challenge to write a nice Zuko. It just felt so wrong. Everytime I see the episode "The Guru" the fact that Zuko is smiling still gives me the creeps! But because of that episode I knew Zuko had to behave nice and sweet, but he's still Zuko, so it was hard to balance that. I always hope not to overdo sweet and awkward Zuko. But unfortunately there won't be a lot of sweetness in the next chapter. Awkwardness, though, probably yes..._


	10. Chapter 10

_Here's the new chapter, earlier than I thought it would be. I wanted it to have more content, but it somehow got so long (probably because of Zuko's feelings), so I chose to write two chapters instead. _

_Enjoy reading and please review!_

_I do not own Avatar The Last Airbender, nor its characters. The only characters I own are my OCs._

* * *

**Chapter Ten**

**Confusion and Betrayal**

_**Kilara**_

The next day was mostly really normal. I washed myself and had breakfast with my family. After telling the cook what to buy from the markets, I went to my room and started studying ancient Earth Kingdom politics. That was more like ancient Ba Sing Se politics. Nearly every subject I had was only about Ba Sing Se and not about the whole Earth Kingdom.

From the studies I also tried to learn how to proceed in my mission to let the people know about the war, but honestly I really hoped I would never have to do that. This plan would take me years and I really wished that the war would already be over at that point. But that didn't mean automatically that the people in Ba Sing Se would be free.

But I had a problem. My concentration was shitty.

Almost after every sentence I was reading my mind wandered off to other things and I totally forgot what I had been reading. Writing notes was equally a challenge.

I blamed Zuko. It was his fault that my concentration faded. If he just hadn't kissed me!

Groaning I leaned my head in my neck and ran my fingers through my hair. Dammit, Kilara, concentrate!

_Treating the own family with dignity teaches a ruler to treat his own country with dignity. A country is like… blah blah blah blah._

Even the interesting stuff didn't go into my head!

But I just didn't know what to do and I had so many things on my mind! What would become of Zuko and me? Would we stay friends? Did he want more? Why the heck would he want more?

Waiting until Monday would be total torture! Two days were way too much to wait for things to explain and getting things to normal again!

I was wondering what Zuko was doing right now. Probably serving in the tea shop and mixing up orders again. I had to smile at that thought, since I had find that really sweet about him.

Wait.

No.

No, I was not starting to think that he was sweet! Because he clearly wasn't.

But nearly everything about him yesterday had been sweet. Maybe this was his normal self. If he would be like this every time from now on, then…

No, no, no! Then nothing. There was nothing! Absolutely nothing!

I let my head fall down on my desk and groaned again in annoyance. Why couldn't I just stop thinking about this? This situation was so embarrassing and complicated and confusing!

I pressed my eyes shut, trying to force me to concentrate.

Three minutes later I gave up and walked out of my room to Nanuk's room.

I opened the door without knocking and found his room empty.

Sighing I concentrated on the familiar feeling of the water in his body and felt his presence weakly in the yard. The closer I got the stronger the feeling of his presence became.

Nanuk was practising earthbending and seemed to try to learn a new form, when I interrupted him.

"Nanuk! I'm going to the Jasmine Dragon!" I said loud enough for him to hear me on the other side of the courtyard.

"What?" he asked, coming closer. "Again?"

I nodded. "Yes. I am in the mood for tea."

"We have tea here."

"Our tea is not as good as Mushi's tea," I stated, shifting my weight and crossing my arms.

"So you're going to see Lee again?" Nanuk grinned.

I tried to roll my eyes, but the heat in my cheeks probably betrayed me. "Maybe," I said, then turned around and left.

"Wait! I'm coming with you!" my brother shouted after me.

"What?" I shrieked, tensing, pulling my shoulders up and clenching my hands to fists.

Nanuk took a towel from a chair and dried some of the sweat on his face. "I still want to talk to Lee."  
I narrowed my eyes, knowing that I was in a trap. If I kept telling him that he should not come, he would only insist more and be more stubborn about it. Besides, yesterday I had acted as if I didn't care about him coming or not. "I'll talk to him and you'll stay away!" I snarled.

Nanuk crossed his arms and cocked his head to the side. "I thought I could talk to him."

I swallowed, fidgeting with my hair and pictured the worst possible scenario which could happen.

"_I recognised you from the wanted posters! You are Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation! Kira, stay away from him! Guards! Anyone! He's from the Fire Nation! He's the Fire Lord's son!"_

What if that would happen? It would be a total nightmare! Gritting my teeth I tried to calm myself. Nanuk had seen Zuko already once and he hadn't recognised him. Denzai was really smart and he hadn't even guessed they were from the Fire Nation, so there was no way that Nanuk would recognise Zuko now. After all, he had a lot more hair now than on the wanted poster. Even more than the first time I had seen him. I liked the longer hair, though. It kind of looked cute.

Heat rushed through my cheeks, as I told myself over and over again that I did not find him cute!

"You can," I growled. "But you'll leave after you talked to him!"

My brother raised his eyebrows. "And leave you alone with him?"

I smirked. "We'll be in an occupied tea shop with lots of people everywhere. Besides, it didn't bother you that much when I was alone with him yesterday!"

"That's because I didn't know anything about yesterday before and when you told me it had already happened, so why argue about it?"

Narrowing my eyes I walked up to him and poked a finger in his chest. "You will leave after you talked to him!"

Rolling his eyes he backed away, his hands held up. "Okay, okay, geez! Don't get so worked up!"

"I'm not getting worked up!" I yelled, turning around and walking back inside, my nose held high in the air. "Now get ready or I'll go without you!"

"Urgh!" Nanuk groaned and rushed past me to his room to get ready.

I sat outside in front of the door on the stairs and fidgeted with my right braid. I always took two front parts of my hair and plaited them, leaving the rest of my hair down or put them into a ponytail or a bun. Today I had them in a loose bun and some strands were tickling my neck.

Sighing I told myself that everything would be fine. Nanuk would probably embarrass me, but not find out about Zuko's identity and then we would talk and somehow all of this would make sense and we could just go back to be friends again. Yeah.

When Nanuk finally came back, I stood and brushed the dust off my clothes. "We'll need to go to Denzai's again. Only he can get us into the upper ring."

Nanuk shook his head. "That's actually not true," he murmured. "Yao made a guard give me a permit to enter the upper ring."

"What?! Why didn't you say anything yesterday?!" I shouted, gesturing wildly.

Nanuk grimaced. "Because I didn't want you to go into the upper ring that late! You missed dinner!"  
"I had an excellent dinner, for your interest. Fine, but don't think I would forget that!" I hissed and turned around, walking towards the train station.

After a few minutes I quickly began to miss Denzai's company, since my brother was behaving like an idiot again.

"You know this would be a lot more easier and less embarrassing for you, if you would just tell me what had happened yesterday," Nanuk said for the third time, while we were on the train.

"Okay, fine!" I relented, snapping at him and told him vaguely what had happened yesterday, leaving out anything about Zuko's identity or the kiss. But thinking about it still made me blush.

It wasn't that big of a deal, right? A kiss meant nothing really. Kissing didn't mean a person liked the other one that way. Maybe I had said something or looked at him in a way that had him want to kiss me. But I couldn't exactly imagine Zuko kissing a girl he didn't like.

Frowning I noticed that I didn't like the thought of him kissing another girl at all. Oh no, was I jealous?

I really much wanted to scream, tear my hair out and hide underneath the seat.

I couldn't wait to talk to Zuko to work things out.

Around fifteen minutes later we were sitting at a table in the Jasmine Dragon, but I couldn't see Zuko, nor his uncle. Other waiters brought us tea and after waiting for far too long and listening to Nanuk's teasing and stupid made up excuses for them not being here I asked one of them where Mushi and his nephew were.

"The master and his nephew are currently at the Earth King's palace. Great honour had been granted to our master by an invitation of the Earth King himself to serve him tea. Our master's talent is really exceptional," the woman said in a soft and admiring voice.

I heard what she was saying, but I still grimaced at her voice sounding so obedient.

"Oh, that's too bad, we wanted to talk to them. Do you know when they'll come back?" Nanuk asked, giving the woman a brilliant smile and I grimaced again. Moon, we were only fifteen years old and there he was flirting with a woman in her twenties. I rolled my eyes.

"Are you friends of them?" the woman asked curiously, smiling softly. Somehow everything about her seemed soft, caring and motherly. Her voice, her eyes, her smile, even her face and hands!

"Yes," I said, now smiling, too. "We are friends of Lee's."

"If you'll tell me your names, I will gladly tell Lee that you have been here."

"Kira and Nanuk," my brother said.

"No, it's Kilara," I corrected, because it crossed my mind that Zuko probably didn't even know that most people called me Kira and not Kilara. He had called me Kilara every time now.

The woman looked confused and I sighed, pulling out paper and ink from my bag. "I'll just quickly write a message. Could you please see to it that Lee will get it later?"

The woman inclined her head. "Of course."

Nanuk leaned in my direction, clearly curious of what I was going to write. "Stop it!" I hissed at him. "I can't concentrate!"  
"Why do you need to concentrate when you're writing a letter to your boyfriend?"  
"He's not my boyfriend!" I snarled, narrowing my eyes and put the quill into the ink.

_Dear __Zu_ (I crossed that out) _Lee,_

_It is very unfortunate that you weren't here this morning for I really need to talk to you. _

_But serving tea to the Earth King, what a great honour! I hope it all goes well for the two of you! Say hello to your uncle from me!_

_Maybe you can come over after you're finished working today. Or I'll just come here again on Monday. You better be here then._

_Best w _(This was no work relationship, we were friends, so I crossed that out, too)

_Love,_

_Kilara _

"Er…" I stared at the crossed out words. "I'll write that again."

After I wrote it again neatly this time, I gave it to the nice woman who smiled and bowed. "I will make sure that Lee will get your message."

I smiled and nodded, then turned to look at my brother who looked slightly worried.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"What? Just because he's not here?"

Nanuk shrugged. "I don't know a lot about female emotions, but you could be sad or angry. I'll take it that you didn't know that he was serving tea to the king today."

I narrowed my eyes, but sighed then. "Yes, he didn't say that."

I started to worry why he hadn't told me. Was there anything going on? What if…

No! No, I trusted Zuko. And General Iroh. They were only refugees here and there was certainly no plan to overthrow the city. I had to believe that. Besides, there was nothing I could do. They were gone, serving tea to the Earth King and all I could do was wait.

Nanuk cocked his head to the side. "Do you want to wait until they'll come back?"

I chewed on my lower lip, took a sip of my jasmine tea and shook my head. "No, we should head home."

It highly confused me that the thought of a conspiracy to overthrow the city didn't leave my mind. I had already decided to trust Zuko and Iroh, so why couldn't I just be happy for them that they were serving tea to the king? Besides, if there was a conspiracy it had to come from the inside, so that they would receive the invitation to enter the royal palace. And the Dai Li would immediately crush any attempts for treason.

But these thoughts didn't leave me the whole day. I felt uneasy and even watched, and just tried to distract myself. But there was something at the back of my mind that made my skin tingle and covered my skin in goosebumps.

I chewed all of my fingernails down until there was nothing left and when I couldn't stand it anymore I went to Nanuk's room and asked if he would be up for a spar. He was in, of course he was, since he loved to spar.

This was a far better distraction than studying, because I didn't have any choice than to concentrate on the fight.

But when I sent a particular large wave at Nanuk I shortly had the image of Zuko being swept away by a wave in my head. Blinking I tried to orientate myself and got encased in rock the next second.

I struggled, feeling the unease and wrongness grow and almost screamed.

Nanuk released me after a few seconds and I stormed past him to get into the fountain which stood in the middle of the courtyard and had provided me with water for the spar.

"Kira!" my brother shouted.

I took off my outer clothes and stepped into the fountain, submerging myself completely. I thought this would help. Feeling water around me had always calmed me, but not now. I even felt worse, more agitated.

"What are you doing?" Nanuk asked, bending down, his hands on his knees, to look at me.

"I'm trying to calm me," I explained and furrowed my brows. "But it doesn't work. It normally always works!" I shouted, quickly got up and grabbed my clothes.

"Hey!" Nanuk grabbed my arm, turning me around to look at him. "What is with you?"

"I don't know," I said. "But something feels off. I… I don't know how to explain it. It feels as if something bad would happen and I'd need to do something, but I don't know what!" I screamed, tears filling my eyes.

Nanuk's eyes widened and he put his hands on my shoulders. "Are you sure?"

I blinked in confusion and took a step back. "What?"

Nanuk frowned. "Don't tell me you never noticed it."

"Noticed what?"

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Somehow, don't ask me how, I have no freaking idea, you always know before something bad happens. Remember when I was nearly killed by that wolf hog as a kid?"

I nodded, snivelling.

"You had a weird feeling the whole day. You never got those feelings when dad left, because his journeys were always safe. But before mum died you behaved like this, too," Nanuk told me softly.

I blinked, noticing that he was right. I had felt that something was going wrong a day before out mother had died. I had screamed a lot and lied in bed, crying, not knowing what was wrong with me. Later I had thought it was just puberty.

"You're right. But that's crazy, Nanuk. I cannot feel catastrophes arriving. I'm probably just stressed and tired," I told him, yawning for emphasis.

"But Kira…"

"Nanuk, stop it! This is insane and not even possible! I'll just go to bed," I said, turning around, trying to silence the voice in my head which told me that Nanuk might be right and I should prepare myself for a catastrophe. "No disturbances."

_**Zuko**_

The throne room seemed darker to me than the only other room in this palace I had been in this morning with…

Rage, anger and hurt rose inside me as I thought about this morning.

Somehow it seemed strange to me that I had fought Azula earlier that day alongside Uncle and in the afternoon I had fought Uncle alongside Azula.

But I hadn't wanted to betray Uncle. I hadn't fought for Azula, but for the Fire Nation and my throne. Why hadn't Uncle seen that this had made the most sense in this situation? How could he have thought that I would betray my nation, our nation?

"We've done it, Zuko," Azula suddenly spoke, after the Dai Li agents had left. "It's taken a hundred years, but the Fire Nation has conquered Ba Sing Se." She sounded so sure and proud of herself.

I wasn't able to feel the same way. The shock that I had felt when I had noticed that Uncle had defended the Avatar was still present. I felt ashamed that the look Uncle had given me still hurt so much. It had spoken of betrayal and disappointment.

Looking down I said: "I betrayed Uncle." How could I have done that? I never wanted to! I would have never thought that he would actually side with the Avatar! No one had asked him to! Then again, he couldn't be expected to side with his niece who had nearly killed him once. She would have succeeded if it hadn't been for Kilara…

"No, he betrayed you," Azula quickly said and I turned my head slightly in her direction.

Did he betray me? Maybe. He knew how important it was to me to go home, to have father's love and my honour.

I looked on the ground again, fighting against my emotions.

"Zuko," Azula said, standing up. I noticed that she didn't call me Zuzu anymore. Was it because I was on her side now? "When you return home father will welcome you as a war hero."

Frowning I looked to the side. Oh yeah? My mission had been pretty clear to me. If I could have returned home by simply being a war hero I would have tried so ages ago! "But I don't have the Avatar," I objected. "What if father doesn't restore my honour?" What if he didn't accept me back, what if he still saw me as weak and worthless? Was siding with Azula to fight the Avatar and Uncle enough to get father's love?

Why did I even care now? One day ago I had said and also thought that I didn't need, didn't want father's love and acceptance! How could I have changed so much during one day? Was it Azula and her mind games? Or had I just lied to myself, while unconsciously I had still wanted father's acceptance?

Azula laid a hand on my right shoulder and I turned towards her. It had been ages since she had ever done something like that. "He doesn't need to, Zuko. Today you restored your own honour."

I looked into her eyes, searching for any mischief or sarcasm, but all I could see was sincerity. Did she really mean that? Did she think that I just restored my honour all by myself? I kept searching her eyes and face for this Azula-manipulation-glint, but for once in seven years my sister's eyes held nothing but pride and satisfaction. It was nowhere near affection, but it was the closest to it Azula and father could show.

Frowning at her, since I didn't really know how to deal with that, I looked away, staring at the steps.

"Zuko. I'd love to have you living here in the palace with me. You're a prince, you deserve better than an apartment."

Quickly I turned towards her. "How do you know that?"

Now there was superiority and cunningness in her eyes and smile again. "Oh, please. I had agents following you."

"What?!" I growled and took a step towards her. How dare she?

Her smirk widened. "How else do you think did I manage to send the invitation to the palace to you?"

When I didn't stop glaring at her she rolled her eyes. "Come on, it's nothing personal. You should go to the apartment in case you want to have anything from there."

I narrowed my eyes. "I haven't agreed yet to stay here. Keep your palace, I'll stay in the apartment," I said, turning around and wanting to leave.

"Oh, you think your neighbours won't ask questions about Uncle's whereabouts? Don't you think they will notice that you are from the Fire Nation?" Azula called after me and I stopped.

She was right. Well, of course she was right, Azula was always right. How could I even look them in the eyes again, knowing I had betrayed them? But maybe it was even a good thing. Ba Sing Se would finally know about the war and reality would enter the city, destroying this sick utopia.

"You can ask the Dai Li to help you carry your stuff," Azula went on.

"I don't need any help. I don't have a lot of things there anyway," I said and kept walking.

"Don't take too long, dear brother!"

I flinched slightly and wondered why I couldn't just look back and smile at her, telling her not to worry. She was my sister after all. But the problem was also that she was Azula.

I had a bit of trouble finding the exit of this place, before I stared at the vast surface of earth surrounding the palace.

"Where are you going?" a cheery voice suddenly piped up behind me.

The voice sounded vaguely familiar, but I didn't manage to put it anywhere and turned around.

A girl who seemed to be a little younger than me stood behind me. She wore fluttery pink clothes which left her stomach free. Her brown hair was cut in a pony and the rest was plaited in a long braid, falling down her shoulder.

I furrowed my brows. "Ty Lee?"

"Oh, I didn't notice it was you, Zuko!" she squeaked and ran towards me, hugging me.

I tensed and grimaced. What did give her the right to hug me?

"It's so great to finally see you!" she said, after she had let me go, grinning wildly. "I was really disappointed when I couldn't see you at least once, while we were chasing you!"

"You… were chasing me?"

She nodded. "Yeah. Almost three months ago Azula asked for my help in tracking you and your uncle down. But she always left us when we got close to you, wanting to take you down herself," she pouted. "Anyway, how have you been? It's been so long, can you believe this? You have grown so much! You didn't just get taller, you also look so manly now! I really like your hair, that still makes you boyish somehow!"

A knife flew by, cutting off a few strands of Ty Lee's pony.

I immediately settled into a fighting stance. "Who's there?" I growled, feeling a bit relieved not to have to listen to her anymore. She had always been like this, but it still got on my nerves. I had other things on my mind!

Ty Lee stemmed her hands in her hips and leaned a bit forward, looking in the same direction I did. "Hey! I was having a conversation here!" she shouted, sounding offended.

A sigh came from the shadows and a tall thin girl stepped towards us. Her black shiny hair was pulled up in three buns, two strands of hair hanging down her shoulders. Sharp amber eyes looked at us under an accurately cut pony. "It was highly one sided, Ty Lee, and I think you interrupted Zuko doing something," Mai said, sounding bored.

I frowned. It was strange seeing her so… aloof, neutral. She had never been like this when we were kids.

"I didn't mean to, because I didn't notice it was Zuko," Ty Lee argued back. "Besides, he had always been not a great talker, so one has to do it, otherwise it will get boring!"

Mai sighed and moved closer. "Whatever," she said, rolling her eyes.

Twisting my mouth I took a few steps back. "Well, it was nice seeing you, but I got to go." I said, pointing over my shoulder at the upper ring.

"Aren't you staying at the palace?" Ty Lee asked with big eyes.

"I am! I just need to grab some stuff," I explained vaguely and waved. "See ya!" Then I turned around and walked the steps down as fast as I could. Man, that had been awkward!

"Bye Zuko!" I heard Ty Lee shouting in a friendly voice.

I pinched the bridge of my nose, telling myself over and over again that I had done the right thing. Uncle had betrayed me. I had only done the most reasonable thing, which had been expected of me. It wasn't my fault that Uncle had decided poorly.

He would still be better in prison than on the raft in the Northern Sea without any food or fresh water. Why did I even care? It was him who should care about me! He had betrayed me, after all! Siding with the Avatar, the Earth Kingdom, when he had known what I, his nephew, the person he had told he saw as a son, wanted and needed. The Avatar's life had been more important to Uncle than my happiness. How could he? How could he have done that? Maybe I hadn't meant that much to him.

Pressing my eyes shut to stop my tears I didn't even notice that I had walked past the building in which the apartment was. Muttering to myself in anger I turned around and went to open the door where I noticed a piece of paper hanging there. Narrowing my eyes I approached it cautiously and fount it was a letter.

_Dear Lee, _

_Friends of yours have been at the Jasmine Dragon today and left a letter for you. I told them you would receive it after you'd be back, but since you didn't come back, I ventured to leave the letter here for you. _

_I hope everything went well at the Royal Palace. Best wishes to Mushi!_

_See you tomorrow!_

_Warm regards,_

_Hay Ming_

Friends of mine? I didn't…

Horror filled me, when I thought about Kilara. Was the letter from her? Had she wanted to see me today? What would she think of me, if she knew what I had done?

Narrowing my eyes I shook my head, entering the house and walking up the stairs. It didn't matter what she thought. I had done the right thing. Besides, Kilara had family from the Fire Nation, so how angry could she possibly be at me?

In the apartment I sat down on the sofa and opened her letter to read it.

…

_Love,_

_Kilara_

I stared at the end of her letter for I-don't-know-how-long minutes, happiness, fear and panic rushing through me.

_Love._

She had ended her letter with "Love". No one had ever ended letters to me with "Love". My mother might have, but we were never separated, so she didn't need to write me any letters.

Did this mean anything? Had Kilara maybe felt the same I had yesterday, when I had kissed her? Or was she just being nice, because we were friends? But would we even stay friends, when she would find out what happened? Uncle had betrayed me, but I had been responsible for conquering Kilara's home. Not totally responsible, since I was sure that Azula would also have succeeded without my help.

I stiffened. Yes, that was true! Azula would have succeeded without me. She'd had all the Dai Li agents. Instead of me fighting the Avatar or his waterbender friend she would have just needed two more agents occupying me and the waterbender. She could have still killed the Avatar and with Uncle appearing so late… Why had she told me that she needed me? That we could only win, if I helped her? That we could only do this together? She hadn't needed me at all! Why hadn't she just got rid of me, like she had originally planned?!

I ran my hands over my face, staring at the floor, thinking things over and over again.

With Azula killing me, defeating me, taking me prisoner or even pushing me onto the Avatar's side, she would have been the only ever possible heir to the throne. That would have been her chance. She already almost succeeded in becoming the next Fire Lord. First, when I had got banished and second, when she should have imprisoned me.

What was she planning? What did she want?

Did she need me to make her look better in front of father? I was somehow valuable to her, but I didn't know yet how.

I looked at Kilara's letter again and pressed my eyes shut. She would know. Probably tomorrow the army would have marched through the middle ring, commanders declaring that the princess of the Fire Nation had conquered the city and that everyone had to swear loyalty to the Fire Nation.

I pictured Kilara at the gathering, looking furious when she would be forced to kneel. I swallowed against a lump in my throat. I didn't want to see that!

Tomorrow… By tomorrow she would know the truth. She would hate me.

Until now being a firebender, being the Fire Nation Prince, trying to capture the Avatar had not made her hate me. She had wanted to be my friend. I had even thought of more.

But siding with the Fire Nation in a conquest of the city, the last stronghold of the Earth Kingdom, the place where all the refugees went, because they thought they were safe there, that would clearly make her hate me.

I pressed the back of my hand against my mouth to calm myself down. I was not going to cry like an idiot or a baby!

I might have lost Kilara's friendship, but I gained my sister's trust and alliance. I would get my father's approval and love, he would restore my honour and my rightful place as heir to the throne. This was what I should concentrate on. I would finally have what I had craved for for the last three years! But why didn't I feel the great joy I had always imagined I would experience? There was no pride, no happiness.

I sighed. This would only come when I would be sure that father would accept me back.

But still. I only had one night to see Kilara before she would hate me forever. A good person might stay away because of a too bad conscience. But I had no bad conscience at all. I had no regrets!

Feeling decisive I stood up and gathered my stuff in a bag. My swords, my dagger, a picture of uncle, one of uncle and me and some clothes as long as we would stay here, until Ba Sing Se was secured. I wouldn't need Earth Kingdom clothes after that.

I was no idiot. I knew perfectly well that, even if Azula had let me go alone, she had sent agents after me, tracing my every move. I felt watched, but couldn't hear a thing. They were good, but I would be better.

Back at the palace the agents inclined their heads, when I walked by, and opened the gates for me. They might be agents, no guards or servants, but they should still bow and not just incline their heads! Bet they didn't do that to Azula.

Some things never changed.

When I was back inside I went to the first servant I could find. He was a thin and short middle aged man carrying a tray with empty cups. When he saw me his hands began to shake even more and a cup nearly fell to the ground.

I quickly caught it and stood back up, placing it on the tray. The man looked even more frightened now.

I frowned, not used anymore to servants and giving them orders.

"I'm Princess Azula's elder brother, Prince Zuko," I introduced myself, trying to sound neutral in a friendly manner. "She asked me to stay in the palace and I want to know where to find my quarters," I explained.

The servant bowed quickly, nodding exaggeratingly. "Yes, Your Highness, of course Your Highness! Please follow me."

I frowned when I thought about the tray he was still carrying and that I had stopped him from finishing his job. I had always hated it doing something at the tea shop and while not being finished already getting another exercise! But a prince didn't care about the exercises of servants, so I simply chose to be nice to him and be done with it.

My room was exactly next to Azula's room, like the servant told me. On the other side of the floor was Ty Lee's and Mai's room.

I frowned, wondering why Azula didn't sleep in one room with Mai and Ty Lee. They had done that like a hundred times at the palace, after all. And walking into my room in the middle of the night to urge me to sneak around with them, play with them and later just annoying and tormenting me. My frown deepened and the servant trembled even more, clearly thinking that I was somehow not pleased with him.

"Thank you," I told him, trying to look nice. "That would be all. You may go back to your other duties."

His eyes grew wide and I wondered if I had said something wrong to frighten him more, when he bowed so low that his body was probably forming less than a right angle. "Thank you, Your Highness! This is most generous of Your Highness! Good evening, Your Highness!" His voice seemed to crack multiple times, as if he already wanted to say the next word, while still saying the last word.

Before he got back up I turned towards the door, pushing it open.

I heard a gasp behind me and turned around, already tensing in expectance of a fight, but it was only the servant staring at me.

"Oh no. Please forgive me, Your Highness!" He hurriedly put the tray on the floor and walked closer, his eyes on the ground. "I'll open the door for you, of course!" He stepped past me, which confused me a bit, and opened the door. Wow, I had totally forgotten about palace life.

"Thank you," I said. "That wouldn't have been necessary."

"Is there anything else you need me for?" he asked, looking eager.

I frowned, remembering that I'd found the eager servants always confusing. But maybe he just didn't want to go wherever he needed to go. Probably the kitchens.

"No, that is all, thank you," I said, smiling and walked into my new room, closing the doors behind me.

I quickly put my stuff on the bed, opening the bag and searching for my black tight clothes. Once I had them I wanted to change, but a knock on my door forced me to put them back in the bag. I quickly closed it and turned around, wanting to say "Come in!", when the door already opened.

I was ready to yell at whoever dared to open the door without waiting for permission, when I saw it was Azula.

She had her hands on her hips, walking closer, smirking. "I hope the room is to your liking. It's the royal wing of the palace, you must know. It clearly outstands home in extravagancy, but I think the Fire Nation palace has more style."

I looked around, having not even noticed this, but she was right. Nearly everything in here was made of gold or marble, jewels glinting at the lights and the bedposts. I tried not to grimace, since this was clearly too much.

"I agree," I said.

"I came to get you for dinner," she said, turning around, wanting me to follow her.

But I stood still. "Azula!"

She looked at me, frowning, when she noticed I hadn't moved. "What?"

"I won't come."

"Why not? You must be hungry."

"Actually I'm kind of feeling sick," I said and decided to tell her the truth. But not all of it. "I know I did the right thing in helping you and somehow I know that Uncle had betrayed me, but I spent the last three years with him, and it is… hard. I'm not in the mood for small talk at dinner."

Azula rolled her eyes and waved her hand dismissively. "Fine, if you want to cry over being left by Uncle, I won't stop you." Still with her back to me her voice changed into ice. "But remember that you will have your rightful place restored soon. Remember that I gave you this opportunity. I did for you what Uncle never could, while you were chasing this Avatar. Did Uncle ever help with catching him? I don't think so. I'll expect some gratitude soon from you, Zuko."

My inside might have turned to ice, while part of me couldn't help but admiring Azula's ability to speak so calmly and sound so frightening at the same time.

"Of course I won't forget this," I said, feeling real gratitude towards her. "I know you didn't have to do this, but I hope you also know what going home means to me. I would never endanger it."

My sister's posture relaxed slightly and she sighed, running her finger through the strands which were surrounding her face one after the other. "Very well. Get some sleep. This was an exciting day for you, brother."

"Good night!" I quickly said and nearly missed the slight trip in her walk.

She cleared her throat, opening the door. "Night, Zuzu." Then she was gone, and I felt confused and relieved at the same time. This "Zuzu" hadn't sounded mean. It had sounded like a normal nickname, just when she had stubbornly kept calling me that after everyone had told her that the second syllable of my name was "ko" and not "zu", and she could have actually pronounced it, but I had still been Zuzu to her.

At first, I had liked it and hadn't done anything against it, but after Azula started getting better than me at firebending, father had said at a meal that a real man wouldn't let his sister call him such ridiculous names and that I probably had no pride at all. I had felt confused, because I hadn't been a man yet and because it made Azula happy to be allowed to call me "Zuzu". Why should I make her unhappy by forbidding her to call me that?

I washed these memories away, concentrating on my task. I walked around the room, closing every curtain and put my black clothes on. I tore a green cloth apart and draped it over my mouth and nose, tugging it into my hood. With my broadswords I turned off every light and locked the door. Then I walked into the bathroom and opened the window. It would be safer to leave from here.

I had never before broken out of somewhere, only broken in, but it was mostly the same thing. I grinned to myself when I noticed a carriage leaving the palace grounds and as quietly and fast as I could I jumped on the load floor, hiding behind boxes.

Due to Azula's conquest of the city there weren't any trains riding, but I made it through the tunnel on foot and without being spotted.

Before I reached Kilara's street, I pulled the cloth on my face away, putting it into a pocket and pushed the hood back down.

I approached Kilara's house cautiously and found a tree in the front garden whose roots were big enough to hide things underneath. I put my swords and the cloth there, taking off the black shirt, and straightening the light green tunic I was wearing underneath.

I hesitated, feeling an irrational fear that Kilara somehow already knew about the conquest and wouldn't want to see me, but I walked to the door nonetheless. Running a hand through my hair, which I hoped didn't look too messy, I took a deep breath, almost meditating, before I knocked at the door.

I waited a few seconds, then the door opened and I inhaled, expecting to see Kilara in front of me, but I didn't. What I saw kind of seemed similar to Kilara, but it was a boy. Was that her brother?

His eyes had a green greyish colour and his hair was slightly darker than Kilara's, but still light, and he wore a knee long green robe with brown pants. Kilara had worn nearly the exact same clothes yesterday.

The boy's eyes widened and a grin spread on his lips.

This was not the reaction which I had expected.

"Lee! Wow, you actually came!"

I blinked, but fortunately the letter came back to my mind. "Yeah, I got Kilara's letter. Is she there?"

"Oh yeah, but she's probably still sleeping. She went to bed two hours ago, seemed pretty stressed to me. You sure you want to put up with a stressed Kira?" he raised an eyebrow.

He didn't seem intimidating at all, but he was so different from any other boys my age I had ever met.

Did je just skip one syllable of Kilara's name or had I imagined things, because he was talking so fast?

"Uh…" I rubbed my back. "Yes? I mean, I can handle it. That'll clearly be nothing compared to my sister."

Kilara's brother grinned. "Oh yeah, the hardships of being an elder brother. Glad you understand that." He stepped aside, letting me in and I took my time to look around. Just like from the outside this place held special warmth, due to sandy colours and dark wood with a lot of light from candles and oil lamps.

"What's your name?" I asked, following the boy down a hall.

He looked at me, pouting. "Nanuk!" he said with emphasis. "Didn't Kilara mention me?"

"She did!" I quickly said. "She just didn't say your name. So, then you're older than her?" I wanted to know, because if he was, that had to mean that he must be my age. Nanuk was shorter than me, and I was already rather short for my age and it would be nice to meet another short sixteen-year-old boy, who was even shorter than me.

"No, we're twins," Nanuk told me.

My eyes grew wide, as I thought about the old Fire Nation beliefs about twins and the special power that the elemental spirits would grant them. Bending twins had very powerful, incredible powers and the nonbenders always had a strong soul, were intelligent and compassionate. Twin soldiers, leaders or healers in the Fire Nation were really popular. Everyone wanted them.

"Oh," I said.

"You have a bad scar there." Nanuk pointed at my face. "How'd you get that?"

My face contorted in mortification at his manners. One didn't ask a man where he got a scar from!

"War," I answered, keeping my voice at level.

"Aahhh." Nanuk opened a door to a cosy room with a table and few cushions. Bowls and plates were standing in the middle of the table, steam rising from them.

"Erm…" I started.

"Sit down!" Nanuk urged me. "Dinner's ready and I actually just wanted to get Kira when I heard you knock."

A servant held a pot of tea in her hands and put it on the table.

"Hey San!" Nanuk addressed her. "Could you please tell Kira that dinner's ready and that she should come?"

San bowed, one hand over her other fist. "Of course, Nanuk."

"Thanks, San!" Nanuk said a bit too loud, still grinning widely. His expression changed when he turned towards me, leading me to a seat and sat down next to me. He was leaning on one arm, which was behind my back.

I sat as straight as I could, trying not to snap because of his forward behaviour.

"Sooo, _Lee_," he emphasised the name as if he knew it wasn't my real one. Maybe he knew who I really was. Had Kilara told him?

"What?" I asked, noticing that I hadn't heard his question.

"What have you two talked about yesterday?" he repeated, raising one eyebrow and twisting his mouth.

I blinked. "Uh… favourite colours?"

"Uh, yeah, right," he nodded, turning away. The next second he was again staring at me, this time narrowing his eyes as tight as possible. "And what were you doing?"

I frowned. "Talking," I replied in a dry voice. What else, when we were talking about favourite colours?

"Hm, people can do a lot of stuff, while talking about favourite colours. Were you sitting somewhere? On a bench? In a park?"

This guy totally got on my nerves and I had to control my inner flame with deep breaths. "We were walking!"

"Alright, alright." Nanuk held his hands up, sighing. "Don't be so rude!"

"I wasn't rude!"

"I invited you for dinner, you know, you could just be a bit nice."

"I wasn't rude!" I barked. Okay, now I sounded rude.

The door slid open and Kilara appeared, looking as if she had just come out of bed. She yawned, scratching her head and looked at us through slits. When her gaze met me her eyes widened and she quickly straightened her hair.

"What are you doing here?" she shrieked, nearly sounding scared.

I swallowed and felt as if I would be getting sick. Great, she already knew about the conquest. But how?

Nanuk eyed me suspiciously and I quickly cleared my throat. "Y-you wrote I c-could come over," I stuttered. Not even being a prince again made me stop embarrassing myself!

She pulled at one of her braids and I noticed that her hair was down. It was the first time I saw it like this, the soft waves which fell down her shoulders and onto her breasts. I quickly lifted my gaze, but still admiring the light and reddish colour her hair had in this light.

"Oh… yes, I wrote that. Um, I… will be…" She pointed over her shoulder. "I forgot to… ah, write down something. For school. I'll be right back!"

I worried if she would get ready for a fight or if she just didn't want to see me.

Nanuk started to chuckle slightly, then he burst out into laughter.

Frowning I turned around, looking at him. "Why are you laughing?"

He wiped some tears from his cheeks, patting his red skin. "Kira… she, just… oh, this was priceless."

"I don't know what you mean," I said.

His eyebrows shot up. "Are you blind? She totally didn't expect you here, that's why she looked like that and then seeing you she totally flipped! Seeing her embarrassed just makes my day!" he chuckled and sighed.

"Why?" I asked. "Don't you like her?"

He grimaced in a confused way, telling me I was an idiot. "Of course I like her! She's my sister. But nothing embarrasses her quickly. She's almost always very composed, no matter how much I'm teasing and pricking and annoying her."

And she wanted me to tease her? When her brother couldn't even get a reaction out of her?

Kilara walked again through the door, which she had let open and closed it. "So, I'm done. Nanuk, leave my spot!"

Nanuk rolled his eyes and sat down on the other side of the table, grinning at me, as Kilara sat down next to me. This was close. I tensed first, still not knowing what to expect and what was I even doing here? If I wasn't sure if I would be treated like a friend or enemy, then why had I come here?

Kilara smelled like this flowery herbs again, or herbal flowers, I just couldn't place it. I knew it was tea!

Frowning, I shoved the thought away.

Cautiously I looked at Kilara, wanting to know where I was at. "If I shouldn't have come here I could leave," I proposed, hoping really, really much that I wouldn't need to leave.

Kilara turned around, staring at me with wide eyes. "No!" she quickly said, then blushed and looked down at her lap. "I mean, I wrote to you that you could come and I wouldn't have done that if I wouldn't have wanted you to come," she added.

Inwardly I sighed deeply, knowing that she didn't know about Ba Sing Se's current state.

Nanuk caught my eye, because he was chuckling again.

"What?" Kilara snarled, leaning in his direction and tensing.

"Nothing," Nanuk quickly said, trying to look innocent, as Kilara tried to freeze him with her glare.

Great. Now what? I had wanted to talk to Kilara alone, but now her brother had invited me for dinner and her father would probably show up any minute.

"So, Lee, are you going to tell me how you two met?" Nanuk asked nonchalantly, as if it didn't even interest him. Then why was he asking?

"I…"

Kilara shook her head, suddenly putting a hand on my lower arm, which was on my lap and under the table. Her brother did not see the gesture, but it immediately warmed my whole body.

"No," I answered, looking at the food in front of me and noticing that I actually was really hungry. I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast, and the riceballs, the fish wrapped in sea weed and the steamed vegetables smelled so good. This was good cuisine.

Nanuk frowned, but didn't get the opportunity to say anything. "Stop it, Nanuk!" Kilara barked at him.

He rolled his eyes, giving me a pointed look. "She's not only stressed, but also still tired," he said quietly, as if only I could hear him.

Kilara tensed and I thought she would just jump and snap at him (that's what I would have done), but she narrowed her eyes at her brother and smirked. "Add super hungry and totally having my period to the list. I've got cramps it feels as if I…"

Nanuk placed his hands over his ears. "Na la la la la! I can't hear you, I can't hear you!" he sang and pressed his eyes shut and shook his head.

Kilara had already stopped talking and helped herself to some riceballs. "It works every time," she said smugly and looked at me.

I must have looked a bit confused or just taken aback, because she rolled her eyes and quickly changed the topic.

"You can start eating! Come on!" she urged me.

"Aren't we waiting for your father?" I asked in bewilderment. They just started eating!  
Nanuk was done with childish behaviour and had started helping himself to some food, too. He answered in Kilara's place. "Our dad is still working in his study. He's usually missing the meals, but San always brings him something. He's not eating everything, but in the morning his bowl is usually empty."

I frowned, finding it very strange that these two children were just left to themselves for meals.

"And except mealtimes? Is he leaving his study at other times?" I asked, reaching for the fish.

Kilara shook her head. "Not really. Maybe for using the bathroom, and of course, for going to the university or the library. His studies are immensely important to him," she explained, sounding calm, but Nanuk stared darkly at his plate, as if not being acknowledged by his father affected him more than Kilara.

I could totally understand him.

"Are you feeling better, Kira?" Nanuk suddenly asked, a worried frown on his face.

I turned quickly to the side to look at Kilara, wondering if she was sick, had a headache or a cold, etc.

"A little bit," she murmured, twisting her brows while staring at her chopsticks.

"Are you okay?" I dared to ask.

She looked up almost immediately and smiled at me. "Yes, it's nothing serious. I was just feeling a little weird."

Nanuk snorted and she shot him a glare.

I got the feeling that I was missing something. "What happened?"

"Kira felt weird and agitated and antsy, which she is always doing before something bad happens," Nanuk explained, but staring at his sister.

"Yes. I did feel weird, agitated and antsy, but Nanuk loves to interpret too much into simple stress symptoms!" she replied calmly and Nanuk scowled.

"I warned you!" he said, pointing his chopsticks at her. "I know a catastrophe will come. It happened all the other times, too, so…"

"Nanuk, enough of this! What could possibly happen? We're in Ba Sing Se, the safest city in the world!" Kilara exclaimed, her voice louder than before.

Maybe the feeling didn't leave her cold, but she didn't want to think about what it meant, either.

I didn't think of her or Nanuk as strange, since I had learned my lesson when Uncle had felt a storm approaching and I hadn't listened. I shoved the memory quickly away, not wanting to think too much about Uncle.

But… there was a catastrophe. The king had fled and Ba Sing Se was under the control of the Fire Nation. They just didn't know it yet. I was partly wondering if this was the catastrophe Kilara was sensing (yes, this sounded weird, even in my head), but I also wanted to reassure her and pulled my arm back, grasping her hand.

"I'm sure you don't have to fear anything," I said, since everything else would have been a lie. Smiling had never been so difficult.

But she returned it openly, relieved and I felt my inside getting all warm and wobbly.

Nanuk sighed, causing Kilara to look back at him. "I really hope so."

Kilara sighed. "Let's not talk about this anymore."

I began to think it had been wrong to come here. I felt so guilty all the time, every time I looked Kilara in the eye, every time she smiled at me, as if I hadn't destroyed her life.

But my feelings didn't have a lot of time to make me feel like a jerk, all due to Nanuk.

"Alright. I think we should talk about you, Lee," he said, but not sounding threatening or intimidating at all. Probably because he still chewed on his fish while saying that.

"No, we won't," Kilara answered, but I shook my head.

"Yes, we will," Nanuk shot back.

"No, we won't!"

"Yes, we will!"

"Uh…," I said, looking from one twin to the other. "I don't mind."

What? What? Why had I said that? Stupid, stupid, stupid! What if he started asking really bad questions? For example, 'Where do you come from?'. Or 'Are you a bender?'

Nanuk beamed at me and clapped his hands. "Great! You know, I know Kilara can take care of herself, but as the only available male member of the family it is my duty to interrogate you."

Frowning I leaned back and Kilara smacked her forehead with her hand.

"Nanuk! You are totally embarrassing yourself," she said in an annoyed matter-of-fact-voice. "I didn't check on your friends' backgrounds, too."

"My friends are boys! What if I had a female friend? You would check her background, wouldn't you?" he asked, crossing his arms and lifting an eyebrow, smirking.

Kilara made a show of thinking hard and sighed. "Yeah, okay, I would do that. But only to check her mental health, because she would befriend someone like you," she said smugly.

Nanuk scowled at her, saying "Ha ha. Wasn't that funny?", and looked then at me.

I waited for a question, but he simply seemed to study my appearance. What? My tunic was a little tight, but only because it had needed to fit under the black shirt. Was my hair maybe still ruffled from the hood?

I tried to ignore him, because my stomach demanded it, so I kept eating, but after a while it really got annoying.

"You should really stop that, Nanuk," Kilara said, before eating another bite of fish.

"Shh," he shushed her.

Nanuk didn't touch his food, while Kilara and I were eating.

When I was almost done I couldn't stand it anymore. I lifted my head, looking at the male version of Kilara with narrowed eyes. "What?!" I barked.

He leaned back, twisting his mouth. "Okay, I think I know now enough about you."  
I blinked, feeling totally taken aback. "What?"

"You don't like leek, you shoved it aside. Even though you're working in a tea shop, you don't like tea. You haven't touched it. You try to…"

His tea suddenly splashed into his face and he gasped. "Kira!"

"What?" she asked, faking innocence.

I tried really hard not to laugh, but I was really bad at hiding any feelings, so a few chuckles escaped my lips.

"Just wait until she does that to you," Nanuk murmured, drying his face with his napkin.

"That wouldn't bother me a lot," I said, smirking, because I could just dry myself with my bending.

"Yes, I think so, too," Kilara said, also smirking.

Nanuk groaned, sounding disgusted and started rubbing his temples, as if he was getting a headache.

Kilara and I quietly continued eating.

"But, Lee… you do have hobbies, don't you?"

I blinked at him, thinking about what I liked to do in my free time. Running at night over rooftops to have some exercise didn't really count, did it? "Uh… No. I don't really have any free time," I said, grimacing. "But I like physical exercise. Training, fighting."

Nanuk raised one eyebrow. "Okay, I didn't expect that from a tea server."

I smiled nervously. What did tea servers like?

"Jobs don't define a person, Nanuk," Kira saved me, frowning.

"They do in our family," he replied. "How could I know that not everyone is defined by their job?"

Kira shrugged and rolled her eyes. "Did you ever bother to know uncle Aiguo's servants? They all have the same job, but are interested in totally different things."

Nanuk touched his chin with his index finger and his thumb. "Ha, you're right. Okay, what is the most opposite of a tea server in a tea shop with pai sho boards? You said you like fighting, I already noticed you have a bad temper, you probably never plan ahead and are pretty rash. Hm, you hate peace and hot drinks and listening to people?" he asked, beaming.

He was right in some points. And this was totally unnerving.

Kilara was, at least, more subtle in trying to analyse me.

"I don't hate peace," I stated. "And I even listened to _you_ right now and if it's cold I also don't mind a hot drink."

"So I was right with anything else?" he asked, grinning. "But I think I'm going to add something to the list. You're arrogant."

"I'm not!"

"You are," Kilara said calmly.

"No, I'm not!" I snapped at her.

"You are not an arrogant person, you just can be arrogant," she explained further. "I actually kind of expected that fr…" She stopped in her motion, wanting to eat the last bite from her plate. She cleared her throat, laughing weakly.

That got Nanuk's interest, because he leaned in her direction, shortly glancing at me. "Why did you expect that?"

I knew it had almost been a slip up. Had she really expected me to be arrogant, just because I was a prince? And even if I behaved arrogantly sometimes, then only in situations which justified it!

Kilara blinked and laid a hand on my shoulder. "Just look at him."

I kind of felt insulted. "What?"

Her weak laugh returned. "Yeah, I mean, who wouldn't be arrogant sometimes if they looked like you?"

I still didn't get it. Why should I behave arrogantly because of black hair and a scar? Nothing about this allowed me to behave arrogantly. Besides, the majority of the people on this planet had black hair!

"Huh…", Nanuk said. "I really didn't see it at first."

"What?" I snapped again.

Nanuk suddenly burst out into laughter and when I looked at Kilara she had flushed a deep crimson red.

I tensed, staring angrily from one twin to the other. What was all this about?

"I don't think it's because of his appearance that he's behaving arrogantly," Nanuk explained, "because he doesn't even seem to know about his appearance," he added cryptically.

This was so getting on my nerves.

"Will someone tell me what you are talking about?" I demanded, banging one fist against the table.

Nanuk held his hands up, while Kilara was sipping from her tea, not looking in my direction.

She was behaving differently today and I wondered if I had done something to offend her.

"Geez, relax. We're just talking about your good looks," Nanuk explained, rolling his eyes.

I frowned. "You… uh…" Heat rushed through my cheeks. "Oh."

Kilara stood up, pulling me up by my hand. "You're finished, aren't you?" she asked me, shooting her brother a glare. "Great, so let's go."

"Leave the door open," Nanuk ordered.

I nearly fell over my own feet, as she pulled more strongly. "Definitely not."

Outside the dining room she let go of her death grip around my hand and closed the door, resumed her death grip and started pulling again.

"Where are we going?" I asked, hurrying to keep up with her. Who knew that someone with short legs could walk so fast?

"My room," was her curt reply.

I felt my blood leaving my face and my eyes widened. Her room? The only girl's room I've ever been in was Azula's room at the palace! I panicked and the little Zuko in my head kept screaming and shouting out his panic, when she opened a door, pulled me inside and closed it.

I stood as stiffly as possible, while glancing around. I knew her room wouldn't be like Azula's room, all dark and red and tidy, but I didn't know what to expect of a girl's room.

It was actually not that different from my room in the apartment. There was a huge window, a bed, a wardrobe and a desk. The room's walls were painted in a light turquoise and the furniture had a hazel colour. Her bed was neatly made, in contrast to her desk, which was overloaded with dozens of books and scrolls. Some really ancient ones, but I could also make out the scroll she probably used to take notes.

The only thing girly in the room was the drawer, because a mirror stood on top of it. Next to the mirror lied a brush, several hair clips and a comb with a watery pattern engraved.

The wooden floor was blank, no carpet lying anywhere. The walls were also blank, no pictures or decorations.

After I relaxed a bit, I noticed that I was finally alone with Kilara, and that there was no annoying twin brother annoying us anymore.

But after tonight there would be far more standing between Kilara and me than her brother.

I swallowed, trying to get rid of the lump in my throat as I imagined again how Kilara would hate me. I didn't want to lose my first real friend. I didn't want to lose her.

Kilara walked further into the room, but I quickly caught her wrist and pulled her towards me, laying my arms around her and pulled her close to my chest.

She tensed a bit, but relaxed, before I could let go. She hugged me around my waist and leaned her head on my chest.

I bit down on my lower lip as I felt her hair tingle my skin and sighed inwardly. Why did it feel so good to hold her? Her scent and warmth were calming and soothing, pushing all worries and fears away. Even if it were just for seconds.

After a while she lifted her head, frowning at me in confusion. "Are you okay?" she asked.

I really wasn't. Not at all.

I tried to smile and nodded. "Yes, of course. I just… need to hold you," I said, my voice suddenly slightly husky.

She blinked, still looking confused and not at all convinced by my lie, but she leaned back in, squeezing me around my waist tightly and snuggled closer.

I relished her closeness, wanting to remember this forever. Kilara was special and I was glad and thankful I had met her.

But now was time to say goodbye.

* * *

_I hope you liked it, although I kind of skipped Zuko's crossroads of destiny moment. It honestly scared me too much to write about his thoughts and feelings in this situation, because it seems like a really big challenge and I already found the "I'm going to free the Avatar's bison instead of using it to capture the Avatar" scene to be a really big challenge, but Zuko making the worst decision in his life? That feels like too much. Besides, I hate this moment in the series more than anything else, because it is the only time when the audience can think "Zuko is such a bastard!" and be right. Every time I'm watching it I'm still like "Don't do it! Don't do it!", although I know he's going to do it, and after he had done it I always feel the desire to strangle him and yell at the TV/my computer. _

_But I'm thinking about trying to write his inner monologue in this situation and maybe post it as a one-shot..._

_Let me know what you think! :)_


	11. Chapter 11

_Hi everybody, here's the new chapter! It starts directly where the last one ended, with Zuko hugging Kilara. _

_This chapter will be a bit intense and I hope I didn't overdo it or made things unrealistic... After all, Zuko is a really dramatic person... _

_Thanks to you for all the reviews so far, I love to read them!:D  
_

_Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy reading the next chapter and if you will, then please review!_

_I do not own Avatar The Last Airbender, nor its characters. The only characters I own are my OCs. _

* * *

**Chapter Eleven **

**Endings And New Beginnings**

_**Kilara**_

This was getting uncomfortable. And it was lasting too long.

So I let him go and took a step back, so that he had to let me go, too.

"Uh, Zuko, are you sure you're okay?" I asked, feeling confused and a bit nervous.

His eyes widened slightly and he quickly nodded. "Yeah, of course."

I narrowed my eyes at him, since I didn't really believe his too quick answer. But I decided not to persist in the truth right now. There was something else I needed to do, before we could get to whatever it was what was troubling him.

"Okay." I took a deep breath. "I told you we needed to talk. About yesterday."

His brows furrowed in confusion. "What about yesterday?"

"Well, you, uh… kissed me."

A pink colour spread on his cheeks and I was sure that I looked the same. "Yeah," he said, rubbing his neck and lifting one corner of his mouth.

Oh moon. This was not going well. Why was he smiling?

I swallowed, finding it really hard with what I had to proceed now. "This kind of took me by surprise, since I didn't think that you would do something like that."

His cheeks got redder and he looked at the ground.

"And I think… this shouldn't happen again."

His head jolted up, his eyes wide as he stared at me and I almost flinched and felt really bad, because he looked so confused and hurt, but I also felt confused, since I thought I saw relief in his eyes.

"I really like you," I tried to reassure him and clasped my hands behind my back. "But I really think we should just stay friends. At least, for now."

He stared at me, his expression unreadable.

I suddenly became scared that I had pushed him too far away. I didn't want to lose him as a friend. "Look, I just…"

"No, no, it's okay," he quickly said, but looked at the wall.

I licked my lips, feeling horrible. "I'm sorry, but I…" Wow, how could I tell him I didn't feel attracted to him in that way?

A smile appeared on his lips. "It really is okay, Kilara. You don't have to apologise." He shrugged and I frowned at him.

"Huh. You're reacting really well to this," I said suspiciously, crossing my arms.

He rolled his eyes. "Would you rather me crying and shouting at you?"

"No! Of course not. I just wonder why you kissed me in the first place, if rejection doesn't affect you at all!" I explained.

Zuko sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "It's not that I don't feel affected, but I think it's maybe better this way…"

I opened my mouth to retort, but didn't really understand him. "What? Why?"

His face contorted, almost as if he was in pain. "I can't tell you."

I really didn't expect him to say anything like that, since I had actually thought he trusted me now. "Why?" I asked and tried not to sound too hurt.

He shook his head. "I cannot tell you this either. Because if I do then you'll probably figure out what it is that I cannot tell you."

I just stared at him, wondering what it could possibly be. What could possibly be so grave to make him look so hurt and lost?

"What happened, Zuko?" I asked, keeping my voice soft and soothing. I wanted him to open up to me, to trust me really with everything. I already told him I would listen to his inner turmoil and I accepted who he was.

He turned away and shook his head. "I… If you don't stop asking I have to go."  
"What?" I grabbed his arm, turning him around to look at me again, but his gaze was fixed on the wall. "I told you only yesterday that I would listen to whatever would ever bother you, and now you don't trust me? After everything I've done for you and after accepting every part of you? What else do I have to do to make you trust me?!" I snarled, but regretted it the moment I was finished.

Zuko looked even more hurt and conflicted now, but this was not only getting on my nerves, but also scaring me a little bit. He had been so normal and carefree just yesterday, so what could have possibly happened to make him look and act like this? What had happened to him?

He turned his head away, looking at the ground. "I'm sorry, but I… I can't trust anyone ever again."

I frowned. "What? Why would you say something like that?"

His shoulders tensed and he curled his hands to fists, shaking his head again, until he suddenly pressed the back of his right hand to his mouth, his eyes looking wild.

Oh moon and ocean, what the hell was going on with him?

"I can't…," he whispered, running his hand over his face and through his hair. "I… I don't want to f…"

My anger cooled down and I felt my heart swell out of compassion. I didn't like to see him like this one bit. He seemed so troubled and desperate, and I wanted to make it stop. I actually wasn't really a touchy person, but Zuko somehow always made me want to hug him.

I grabbed his hand, pulled him to my bed and made him sit down. I sat down next to him and laid my arms around him, leaning my head against his shoulder. Taking a deep breath I hoped this would somehow make him feel better and help.

After a few seconds I noticed that he was trembling. Looking up I saw him biting furiously on his lower lip and alternating between blinking at a rapid pace and pressing his eyes shut. My own eyes widened in disbelief when I noticed that he was trying not to cry. Oh moon, what was going on?

"Zuko," I said, waiting for him to look at me, but he didn't even move. He seemed not to have heard me, so I tried again, pressing my arms tighter around him. "Zuko!"

He swallowed. "What?" His voice sounded raspy, husky, as if the life had been taken away from it.

I lifted my hands and touched his cheek. He winced as if he was expecting me to hurt him. I frowned, feeling sad and hurt, and turned his face around, so that he was looking at me. He licked his lips, pressing them tightly together, while his gaze was glued to my bed sheet.

"I don't know what happened, but I can't stand it that it's hurting you so much," I told him, putting all my emotions into my voice. "I only want to help you. That's everything I ever wanted, you know that. I want to help you, Zuko. Please tell me how I can help you!" I nearly begged, almost felt uncomfortable but at his display of emotions I exceptionally didn't care about hiding my feelings. This was not embarrassing. This was serious.

I had never been in such a situation before, so I had no idea what to do, but I kind of relied on instinct and my intellect.

Zuko needed something. I wasn't quite sure what it was, but there was something he was desperate about and didn't want to tell me about. But why? Was he afraid I would think less of him? Weaker or something like this? I already understood that it had been important in his childhood not to show weakness, so maybe he was still trapped in this mentality.

But how would I coax him to tell me what happened?

He continued shaking his head, but I pressed on his cheeks, making him look up. He kept his eyes shut. Okay, now he was being childish.

"Zuko!" I snarled. "Look at me!"

When he did, a scowl covered his face and he was looking so angry that he seemed as if he wanted to break something or set something on fire. His eyes were burning with such a fierce fury I almost felt scared. But behind this wall of blazing fire I still saw his vulnerability.

I steeled my gaze to not waver. "I don't care what happened. I'm going to be there for you, okay? That's what friends do. I'll listen, I'll be there, and I'll distract, whatever you need. But I really don't want to tell you this a thousand times. But I would, if that makes you trust me."  
His scowl vanished slowly, his gaze became softer, but so vulnerable.

"I'm sorry," he rasped, swallowing again, but it seemed like all the tension left him, his head almost falling into my hands, but I noticed that he was just pressing his cheeks against my palms.

I was shocked. I was oh so shocked at his display of vulnerability and emotions, it was so much to handle right now. Would I even be able to handle this?

"Don't be sorry," I whispered and gently moved my thumbs, stroking his skin. His burnt skin felt a soft, but hard at the same time, as if a knife wouldn't be able to cut through it, and just how I imagined the skin of a lizard would be. "I just wish I could somehow help you."  
He pressed his eyes shut, taking a deep breath. "I cannot ask for comfort from you."

"What? Of course you can!"

"No!" he quickly said. "Not in this situation. This is different, I…"

I sighed. "Alright. But what can I do to make you feel better? To help you out of this situation?"

He actually smiled at me. It was a sad smile and lopsided, but still. "You cannot help me out of this situation. I got myself in there and I cannot get out. I don't even want to get out."

"What?" I whispered, feeling confused. "Then why are you so sad?"

"Because you still want to help me. Because you are my friend and I…" He sighed. "I already said too much. I should leave now." He leaned back and started getting up, when I leaped to my feet and tackled him, holding him down, so that he wouldn't leave.

He yelped indignantly, when he fell onto my bed and I on top of him. His eyes were wide and I already got up, holding his wrists down and pressed my legs onto his. "You're not leaving like this!"

His surprised look changed quickly into a rather angry one. "You cannot just order me around!"  
"But I can demand! And I'm telling you that this is not like friends are treating each other! You cannot come over, do what you did and leave without explaining yourself!"

His eyes narrowed. "I can do whatever I want and you're no one to tell me what to do!"

"So you're going to leave me behind, worrying and fearing the worst? How would you feel if I did this to you?" I asked, snapping.

He frowned. "That's kind of normal to me, so stop getting so worked up! It's not like I'm doing something bad!"

"You're making me sad and sick with worry. This is something bad to do to friends."

His frown deepened and I understood that he didn't think that I would actually worry about him. I wanted to slap him and hug him at the same time. Why was Zuko always so complicated? But I also thought that this was what intrigued me a bit. He was like a riddle or a puzzle or a particularly complicated game of pai sho and I always needed to think about my next move.

"I didn't mean to," he rasped and I stared into his pale golden eyes. "I don't want to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt anyone."

I lowered myself on top of him and laid my head on his chest. "I know," I said. "You are not that kind of person who wants to hurt someone."

His heart beat fast and weakly, it really didn't sound good, but he took deep breaths, probably to calm himself, and then his heartbeat became slower and stronger.

"I'll leave, Kilara."

"No!" I said.

"No, I mean really leave. Leaving Ba Sing Se."

I remained still, wishing that I hadn't heard him right. "What?"

"I'll leave Ba Sing Se. In a few days. But you won't see me before that, so I wanted to say goodbye now." He freed his wrists from my grip and laid his arms around my waist, pressing me closer to him.

He felt warm and safe, his chest and stomach were really hard, just as I had thought. I felt my skin tingle slightly and gasped, when one of his hands pressed into my skin between my shoulder blades.

Zuko would leave Ba Sing Se. But where would he go? Why would he go? His sister was still looking for him outside these walls! Did he want to become her prisoner?

"Why?"

"That's what I can't tell you."

Thousand possibilities rush through my mind, one worse than the other.

"Then don't go," I said, feeling stubborn like a child and almost pouted. He was my friend, why did he need to leave? "It's not safe out there for you. The Earth Kingdom would imprison you, your sister is still looking for you, and the Avatar's group doesn't like you!"

"Did you meet the Avatar's group?" he asked, sounding suspicious.

I shook my head. "I only met people who met them. Oh, and the earthbending girl. Before I arrived at this village where Azula hurt Iroh."

He seemed to jerk a bit at the mention of Iroh and I frowned. Was something with the old man?

"I never met the earthbending girl," Zuko said. "But I met the waterbending girl… today."

I remained as still as was possible, since I sensed that he would probably tell me now everything.

"She was angry at me, because I used to chase them all over the world." His voice got angry. "She has no idea and therefore had no right to talk about this!"

I frowned. "No idea about what?"

"Why I used to chase them. I didn't do it, because I was bored or out of fun. It was clearly no fun trying to capture this Avatar. If I'd had the choice, I would have never done it."

"Why did you do it?" I whispered.

"My father ordered me to."

"Oh." So that was this mission he had talked about, when we first met. The one he hadn't accomplished. I had known, just like everyone in the Earth Kingdom, that Prince Zuko had chased the Avatar, because that's what the people who met them had told anyone else. But I had never understood why Zuko had done this. I had thought a prince should better stay sheltered and safe, even a banished one. Something dawned on me. "But… but didn't you search for the Avatar for a long time? You already left the Fire Nation, before the Avatar was even discovered." I remembered this from the people in the Fire Nation, when they had talked about the royal family. Prince Zuko's mission and Princess Azula's talented bending.

"Yes," he rasped, clearing his throat.

"And capturing the Avatar was how you could end your banishment?" I asked, since I hadn't been sure about that for a long time. I knew he was banished and I knew he had to find the Avatar. Why should he do anything, while being banished if not for ending this state?

"Yes," he replied.

"I think it's unfair. How old were you when you were banished?"

He sighed. "Thirteen."

My eyes widened and I put much effort into not sitting up and screaming "WHAT?". "Three years. You were out there for over two years without any sign of the Avatar," I whispered.

He tensed underneath me, but I couldn't help feeling shocked and sad. "I would have been out there for even longer, if I hadn't found the Avatar in the Southern Water Tribe."

"Yeah, he was frozen in an iceberg," I said, wondering if he knew about this.

"Seriously?"

"Yes. I met somebody who met the Avatar and the waterbending girl told him about this. She also told him that the Avatar's first words were to ask her if she wanted to go penguin sledding with him," I added like an afterthought and still nearly needed to chuckle at this. Most people always forgot that he was indeed still a child.

I began to feel better and safer, noticing that Zuko had calmed down, too. Now we were just lying together in bed hugging and talking. His hand began to run through my hair, tugging slightly and caressing my scalp. Oh, I really liked that. He almost did it casually, as if he didn't think about what he was doing.

"Zuko?" I asked.

"Hm?" came the answer and I noticed again that he was calm now. His breath and heartbeat slow and strong, his body not so tensed anymore.

"Why were you banished?"

I almost expected him to tense again or to attempt to leave, but he didn't move at all, only his chest was still moving up and down.

"You said you wanted to do what was right," I went on, whispering.

"Hm," he hummed. "Yeah, kind of. I, uh, just had no experience in politics before and spoke out of turn."

I frowned, as he didn't continue and already wanted to ask if this was why he had been banished, but I decided otherwise. "What happened then?"

"I, uh… well, this was a meeting of the war council and they were planning on how to defeat a very strong Earth Kingdom battalion. General Ueda recommended using a division of entirely new recruits as a distraction, while the real forces would attack from the rear. I spoke out against that, because it didn't seem fair to me that these young soldiers were treated as if they were only pawns, as if their loyalty to the Fire Nation meant nothing." Zuko's voice became hoarse and husky, and I pressed my cheek firmer against his chest. I didn't want him to live through bad memories again, but I also didn't want him to stop talking. "But in doing so I showed disrespect. My father said there was only one way to resolve this." He took a deep breath, his voice almost sounding tired. "An Agni Kai. A fire duel. I was okay with that, the general I had challenged was old and looked frail, so I thought I could win. The duel was the next day and I… Well, I didn't expect it to change my life so severely. I just thought I would be done with it and get lunch." He sighed, lifting a hand from my back and I immediately looked up, wanting to know what he was going to do. He touched his scar, closing his eyes. "But I didn't have to fight the general. I had challenged him, but in the Fire Lord's war chamber, so it was him I had to fight." He gritted his teeth and snarled shortly. "My father wanted to fight me. You know, an Agni Kai only ends with one of the duellists getting burnt." He was still touching his scar and my eyes became wide at what I feared would be the end of this story. "I… refused to fight my father. I didn't want to try to burn him and I also didn't want him to burn me. I hadn't understood that disrespecting the general meant disrespecting the Fire Lord, for I never wanted to do that. I had been so cautious at showing nothing but respect to my father and… However, my father said that I needed to learn respect. And that suffering would teach it to me." He stopped there, I waited, but he didn't continue to talk.

"So that's why you were banished? To suffer and learn respect?" I asked and could not hide the horror in my voice. I felt so utterly disgusted by the Fire Lord. Banishing his son because of that…

"No, he finished the Agni Kai to teach me respect," he said with an almost lack of emotion in his voice.

My eyes were wide and I stared at the wall of my room without seeing anything. Finishing… only by burning…

"I was banished, because I had refused to fight my father, which had shown how weak I was. A real prince would have fought. A real prince is strong, not weak. I didn't deserve to be the Crown Prince, before I could not overcome this weakness. That's why I was banished. But I was given a chance to redeem myself. By capturing the Avatar I would have been able to return with honour."

I could barely control my emotions. Oh moon, this was the worst story I'd ever heard! It hurt so much knowing that Zuko had to go through all of this, that no one had helped him. How alone he must have felt. Abandoned and rejected. I bit down on my lower lip, grabbing fistfuls of his tunic, as I turned my head to press my face to his chest, while I fought hard not to cry. He shouldn't see this. He wouldn't want to see this.

As if he noticed my reaction I felt him tensing underneath me, but I quickly got up, moving forward and looking down at his face.

His eyes were narrowed and his brows contorted. I didn't know if it was pain or anger he felt. Probably both.

I know that I felt it. I had never been so angry before in my life. Not even at Admiral Zhao or this now paralysed idiot I had met in the Fire Nation. Zuko was Fire Lord Ozai's son! How could he do this to his own son? The child he had seen growing up? How little love must be in a person to act like this? How could this person be allowed to live? What was the sense in all that? Why did Zuko have to suffer so much?

This was so unfair.

He was such a nice and caring and awkward and therefore funny person, just a normal boy who would never do anything dishonourable, and his father…

I couldn't control my emotions anymore. My thoughts were running amok. Thoughts about comforting Zuko, about killing the Fire Lord…

My face contorted with pain, while I stared at Zuko's narrowed eyes. Golden irises which burnt so intensely, but when my first tear fell, the burning stopped.

His eyes widened and he opened his mouth, but I slowly reached for his face, touching his scar. It had never really occurred to me that it could have a special meaning. Most scars I had seen in my life were completely meaningless, but this one… How did Zuko feel about it?

I bit down on my lip, trying to stop my tears and continued caressing his skin.

"I… That's so horrible. Your father… And you were still so young and you were so brave and the Fire Lord…. He challenged you at the age of thirteen, his own son! How can he possibly justify a duel with a child?" My voice sounded husky and I didn't know if I was whispering or screaming, I didn't care. I just… I just wanted Zuko to see this, I just hoped he knew this, because the way he had talked about it still sounded to me as if he thought he deserved this!

"It should have taught me respect," he rasped, pain lying under the surface of his voice.

"No! It was cruel and wrong, Zuko!" I whispered, now both my hands on his face, stroking his cheeks and wiping his hair away from his forehead.

"You don't know what you're talking about," he said, but there was no anger or confusion in his voice. He sounded… afraid.

"I might have not been raised in the Fire Nation, but I know enough strong people and I know that showing kindness and caring about people is no weakness. It's a strength. Your father doesn't deserve you," I declared, feeling desperate at how he was still struggling against that.

He pressed his eyes shut, but was still lying still. "You're wrong. _I_ don't deserve him. _I_ don't deserve my country or my throne."

I shook my head over and over again. "No, of course you do. You…"

"No, I don't!" he snarled, pushing me onto my back and leaning over me. He supported himself on his hands and knees, a scowl covering his features. "You're right! You weren't raised in the Fire Nation! You have no idea about how my country works! You think just because you read all those ancient scrolls and books, you know everything! Well, you don't! You don't know what I deserve or what my father is! You don't know anything!" he shouted angrily, smoke coming out of his nostrils.

I took in a deep breath and noticed that his words hurt. But I set the pain aside and scowled back. "I know that fathers are not supposed to be like this! I know that you have trusting issues, because of how your father is, and if it weren't for Iroh, you wouldn't…"  
His whole body flinched at the mention of his uncle. "Don't you speak that name ever again!"

First, I wanted to shout back, but then I saw the tears in his eyes and softened. What had happened to Iroh?

"Zuko, is… is your uncle okay?"

He looked away, gritting his teeth while trying to murder my desk with his glare. "No, he's not. But that's his fault!"

My eyes widened in shock. How could he speak of his uncle like that? How could this be the same boy who had smiled yesterday brightly and proudly, because his uncle had said he was lucky to have him? What the f***ing hell had happened to uncle and nephew?!

"Just tell me what happened already!" I screamed, feeling a lump in my throat and ice in my heart. I tried to prepare myself. I pictured every bad situation and how I would finally deal with that.

"He betrayed me! He…" Zuko's scowl intensified. "He betrayed his nation, his family. The Avatar was more important to him." I'd never heard his voice sounding so dark and so full of anger, hatred and pain.

I widened my eyes in fear, afraid of what would come. I really, really much hoped it wouldn't be what I feared so much.

Zuko's eyes narrowed again and his voice got a malicious hint. "Azula took over Ba Sing Se. A few hours ago. She had captured Uncle and me, asking me to fight with her, to fight for my nation and family. For my father's acceptance and my honour! It wasn't really a difficult decision. Serving tea for the rest of my life or becoming Crown Prince? One day Fire Lord?! So I helped Azula." He slowly shook his head, sounding mockingly disappointed. "But Uncle… he just didn't see the great offer my sister had given to us. He chose to ignore his ancestors and family!" he hissed angrily, while I still felt afraid. Afraid of this boy I didn't know at all.

"He ignored me. In the end, it was for nothing. The Avatar got killed and Uncle imprisoned." He furrowed his brow and suddenly smiled, looking so wrong as if someone else had disguised himself as Zuko and completely failed in imitating him. "But we won. The Fire Nation took over Ba Sing Se. So after tomorrow my nation will rule over this stupid city and all this shit will have an end!"

My face trembled, didn't know how I wanted to look like, what I wanted to do. Did I want to scream, cry, or laugh hysterically? Did I want to slap this person who looked like Zuko? Did I want to beat some sense into him?

But shit. If this was true… If this had happened this afternoon, when I had felt so bad and I had seen Zuko being washed away by a huge wave and what was wrong with me? Was Nanuk right? Was I crazy or some sort of psychic?

Was I even sane? What if I was just hallucinating and this super scary, gloating Zuko was just my imagination and in reality I was still lying on his chest and we talked about our favourite childhood activities? I wanted this Zuko back! I wanted my friend back!

I didn't want to live under Fire Nation regime, I didn't want this country to win the war, to take over Ba Sing Se, and oh moon, that meant they already won and had he just said the Avatar was dead?

My face contorted more and more, while billions of thoughts rushed through my way too occupied brain, until I couldn't take it anymore.

What I did was out of instinct. The dark emotions inside of me caused me to do this. Under normal circumstances I would have never done this, not ever. I wouldn't even have wanted that, but I felt like suffocating and somehow threatened, and my thoughts were all over the place and when I opened my eyes… Zuko was suddenly glued to the ceiling. He wasn't talking, only grunting, like my bending hindered him from articulating consonants and different vowels.

His looming presence over me was gone and I could actually breathe again. I closed my eyes, tried to let my emotions flow like water. Letting them flow down a river and getting control of myself again.

I quickly sat up and walked a few steps away from my bed. Then I let Zuko fall down again.

The moment he was in control of himself again, he leaped up, taking a fighting stance and fire daggers formed at his closed fists.

"What did you do to me?" he growled out lowly.

"I freed myself," I said calmly, putting my hands behind my back.

His eyes immediately followed my movement, as if he was expecting a weapon behind my back. He swallowed. "How did you do that? You controlled me! You controlled my body!"

I stood straighter and tried to look neutral. "I don't think I understand what you're saying. I simply pushed you away."

It hurt so much to know I had actually used bloodbending again. And then against someone I considered a friend! Or had considered a friend. But still, his father had betrayed him, his uncle had, and now me?

"Stop lying!" he snarled. "I know what I felt!" His head jerked slightly at the end of the sentence.

My door burst open the next moment and Zuko didn't care about extinguishing his flames. He just faced the door, still in his fighting stance and the scowl deep on his face, as if it was engraved in it.

Nanuk's jaw nearly hit the floor.

"What the… oh, so you're a firebender." He looked at me, raising an eyebrow. "You could have warned me about this, Kira."

I shrugged. "I didn't consider it to be important. But I guess I was wrong. Fire and power will always be the most important things to firebenders!" I said calmly, just giving my voice an undertone of disappointment and contempt.

Zuko flinched slightly and I felt good at having affected him. But I also felt a bit of hope, knowing that a person who really only cared about fire and power would not have been affected by my words at all.

Nanuk twisted his mouth. "Are you guys having a fight? Because all this yelling is annoying and dad complained that he cannot concentrate. And I heard a loud bang, did you break some of the furniture?" Nanuk asked, looking around my room.

It hurt seeing him so naïve and normal. This reminded me of how I had been to Zuko when I had noticed he was from the Fire Nation. If I had known that being nice to him and giving him a chance despite being a firebender, would lead to this moment, to Ba Sing Se under Fire Nation control and the Avatar dead, then… I wouldn't have helped him. I would have alarmed my uncle, insisting on keeping Zuko a prisoner, doing everything to give this world a chance at healing. But now… This world was lost. At least for the next decades.

"What's wrong with you?" Zuko shouted at Nanuk and fire flared around his hands, making everything lighter and the air hotter.

Nanuk lifted his arms to protect his face. When the light vanished, he lowered his arms again, raising an eyebrow at Zuko. "You really need to work on your control. You just could have burnt someone or set the house on fire," he explained, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

Zuko looked like a bull which wanted to blow off some steam and took deep and quick breaths, tensing even more and leaning forward. "What?!"

Nanuk looked at me, his face looking puzzled. "Did I stutter?"

"No, you didn't," I told him.

My brother looked pleased, but a frown covered his face again when he looked back at the firebender who seemed ready to snap at every moment. "Then what's wrong with him?"

"What's wrong with me?" Zuko yelled, shooting a fire ball at the floor, but only burning through the wood, so that the parquet didn't catch fire. "What's wrong with you?! The two of you?! Don't you have any self-preservation instincts?!"

"What? You want me to throw rocks at you, because you're playing with fire?" Nanuk asked deadpanned.

"Yes!" Zuko shouted, fire flaring up around him with so much woosh that it moved the air and his hair.

"Kira is staying calm, so there's no reason for me to attack," Nanuk explained, looking quickly at me, but otherwise didn't take his eyes off of Zuko.

"That… Exactly!" He whirled around, looking at me and I nearly contorted my face again at how wrong he looked and at how wrong he felt. "You! After everything I told you, you're still not attacking! You never attacked! Are you insane? Do you want to get hurt?!"

"No," I said, putting softness in my voice, knowing it would take him aback. "But I don't want to hurt you either. You've been hurt enough."

He took a shaky breath, nearly trembling and the fire went out. He shook his head, pressing his thumb and index finger to the bridge of his nose, contorting his face so much that it looked like it must hurt.

"See?" Nanuk said smugly. "Kira has got it all under control. Nothing for me to worry about."

Zuko shot him a glare, but didn't take a fighting stance. "If you don't stop talking, you'll have to worry about not getting burnt!" He shouted this last word, putting a lot of emphasis to it.

Nanuk looked at me, then paled slightly and laughed quietly, holding his hands up. "Okay, okay. I knew it. Hot tempered," he murmured to himself while retreating.

"Shut up!" Zuko snarled, but still didn't look as if he was really going to hurt anyone.

He looked angry, but also hurt and confused.

In this moment I understood something about him. No matter what people he knew did to him, no matter how much he wanted to push them away, even if he didn't like them, he didn't want them to get hurt. He even tried to save Admiral Zhao and this ass had tried to kill him. Zuko had looked menacing, but he hadn't attacked. He had only waited for us to attack, probably to be able to defend himself, because he felt like suffocating from his emotions.

I had been positive that Zuko would not be able to hurt me or Nanuk, because I could always stop him with bloodbending. But I hadn't needed that, because Zuko himself was not able to hurt us.

This revelation did make me feel a bit better, showing me that my friend Zuko was still there, but… It wasn't enough to me.

I swallowed my sadness, pain and anger down, cooling my features.

"At least you can enjoy your spicy food again then," I said, folding my hands in front of me.

Zuko looked at me, his eyes bewildered.

"You told me you wanted to become what your father is, when we first met. You'll have that chance now and I hope you'll be happy there. But don't waste this chance. Do something smart with the power you will have," I told him, still holding all emotions out of my voice. I bowed in a traditional Fire Nation bow of respect, although I didn't feel any respect right now. "It was an honour to meet you, Prince Zuko."

His eyes were wide, looking so damn confused and hurt and why did he have to look like this? If he actually would be a firebending power-hungry jerk, this would be so much easier!

He swallowed, but then bowed back, Earth Kingdom style. "It was a pleasure and honour to know you, Kilara. I won't let my chance go wasted, I promise."

He glanced at me one last time, then turned around and left my room. I listened to his footsteps, felt the water in his body moving away, leaving the house through the front door. Only then did I allow myself to show my emotions. I bit strongly down on my lip and pressed my eyes shut as I hugged myself and let my tears fall.

I sat down on my bed and took a pillow into my arms, hugging it to my chest and burying my face into it.

This was a disaster. How could everything have gone down so suddenly?

Ba Sing Se was supposed to be the safest place on Earth. People were manipulated here, but they were safe and happy. And now this would just end. The destruction and fear of the war had entered the walls of Ba Sing Se. Tomorrow everyone would be afraid and fear would be a constant companion.

Where I had lived the war had never really struck. We had got information about Fire Nation army movements in the neighbour regions, but until the day Moustache and Sideburns had been standing in front of uncle Aiguo's door, looking for Prince Zuko and Iroh, I had never seen Fire Nation soldiers on Earth Kingdom ground before.

A tentative knock reached my ears and I quickly wiped away my tears, but the door already opened.

Nanuk came in, shutting the door behind him. He grimaced when he saw me and sat down next to me, laying an arm around my shoulder.

"Did you guys break up or what happened?" he asked, sounding concerned and I actually laughed, feeling amused that Nanuk really thought there had been something between the Fire Nation prince and myself.

"No, we were just friends, Nanuk," I explained and sniffed. "But our friendship is over."

He tightened his grip. "Wanna tell me what happened?"

Frowning, I noticed that I had to and that I wanted to. Now, that I didn't have Zuko anymore, I could tell my brother everything. It didn't matter anymore. Besides, my family needed to know what had happened to Ba Sing Se.

"That's a long story," I sighed, snuggling closer. I had to think about how it had also been nice to snuggle closer to Zuko. It was strange that I had wanted to be close to him, since I normally only tolerated physical contact with my family and otherwise just used closeness for intimidation. But I had felt so at ease around Zuko as I did with Nanuk, so that being near him hadn't bothered me at all.

I swallowed. "But it's also an important story and I think dad should hear it, too," I whispered.

"Should we go to him or should I go get him?" Nanuk asked.

"I'd like to have tea in dad's study."

_**Zuko**_

After collecting my swords, tunic and cloth, I felt even more frustrated than before.

It was all my fault. I had screwed up so heavily I could scream and hit my head against a wall, tearing my hair out and scratching my skin off my face.

My emotional stability only swayed more than before.

I had thought seeing Kilara again and saying goodbye would calm me down a bit, cutting all the ties I had to this city, but I only felt worse.

I had wanted to spend one last normal evening with a friend. I had wanted Kilara to look at me so friendly and nice, as if I were a normal boy. I had wanted to talk about stupid things and to get to know her a bit more. But I had screwed up. Not that it wasn't a familiar feeling to me.

I hadn't wanted to tell her everything, but I had felt that I needed to in order to make her letting me go, maybe even making it easier for her to let me go. After all, she already didn't feel anything more than friendship for me and knowing I had helped to take over Ba Sing Se… I had hoped she would hate me. I had hoped she would tell me that I was just like any other firebender, that I belonged in the Fire Nation. I'd thought it would be easier leaving her when she hated me and I had also longed to hear for once that I belonged in the Fire Nation.

After hearing that my father didn't deserve me, I had needed to feel from her the same contempt she had felt towards my father, so that father and I would have something more in common. And apart from general hatred from the other nations and our looks it wasn't a lot.

I wished I could say that Kilara hated me now, but I didn't think she did. She hadn't acted that way at all.

Perhaps this was the main reason why I still felt so bad. Kilara was just too good. I knew she had felt angry and hurt, but I hadn't felt hatred radiating off her, and I knew how to sense hatred. Why couldn't she just hate me like I was used to from a lot of other people? Because without feeling the clear signs for contempt, a stupid part of me still wondered if I could maybe fix this between us, becoming her friend again. She didn't hate me, so there was still hope, wasn't there?

But it was irrational to think about such things.

I would leave for the Fire Nation, and…

I frowned, when I didn't feel the least bit of excitement at the thought of going home.

It was worse. I felt fear. I was afraid of going home.

What if I didn't fit there anymore? What if my banishment had changed me too much? What if it didn't feel like home anymore? What if I couldn't be a prince anymore? Did I even remember how to do this? Did I want to be back in the place where people were manipulated all the time and everywhere?

I tried to shove these thoughts away when I entered my quarters through the bathroom window again. My room was still dark, and when I checked the door I noticed that it was still locked. Did I actually manage to sneak out of the palace and into the middle ring without the Dai Li agents noticing me? That was something huge. Even for me, the person who had sneaked into Pohuai Stronghold past all the Yuyan Archers.

The Dai Li were not just an elite troupe for fighting, they were stealthy, too. If _they _hadn't noticed me it meant that I was just that good. If they had noticed me they would have gone directly to Azula and she would either wait in my room for me to come back or ask me about all this tomorrow.

Either way, now was not the time to think about this. Seeing the huge bed I realised how tired and worn out I actually was. Going through all this what had happened today must have really been too much.

I yawned and quickly hid my swords and dark clothes. I really much wanted to throw myself at the bed, but I still needed to brush my teeth, so I waddled into the bathroom, finding it hard to keep my eyes open.

Three minutes later I fell on the bed, sighing, closed my eyes and was craving for the unconscious darkness and wished for sleep without dreams.

But I didn't get what I had wished for.

Kilara told me she hated me and forced my body to move in ways I didn't control. Bones broke. But Kilara was crying, saying she didn't want to do that and that it was my fault.

Uncle didn't talk. I talked to him the whole time, but he didn't reply. I couldn't even remember what I had told him, but I didn't stop talking or asking him questions. When I reached for him to touch him his body vanished and his robe fell to the floor, empty.

Azula sat in a corner, murmuring and sometimes bending fire in no direction. Suddenly she stood and coaxed me to mount a Fire Nation Navy ship, only to shove me overboard into the mouth of the sea monster from Kyoshi.

I arrived at the Fire Nation, bowing before the Fire Lord, waiting for his decision. He laughed at me, called me weak and said I hadn't learned anything. That I hadn't done anything. Azula had extinguished the Avatar, not me. I hadn't even caught him. The Fire Lord burnt me again, but I didn't wake up to hear if I was again banished and set a task to revoke my banishment. I didn't wake at all. I felt like dying and only saw a woman in a long dark red robe turning away from me, before everything went black and my eyes opened with a start, staring at the window next to my bed.

I kept my eyes wide open and blinked slowly, after some time.

It was still early, the sky grey, which meant it would still take a few minutes, until the sun would rise.

Stretching under my blanket I rubbed my eyes and yawned. Sighing I let my arms fall over my head.

I didn't feel like getting up at all. What should I do now?

Could I really just go home? Would father want me there? Would he accept me?

Somehow I was swaying between being convinced I was finally fulfilling my destiny and doubting my father would even let me. Did I lose everything by letting Azula kill the Avatar? Or should I trust my sister that father would accept me back? She knew him best of all people after all. When we were children, and now that she was older, almost adult, he certainly spent a lot of time with her to teach her. She'd know if he wouldn't accept me back.

Or she'd lie, because she wanted to see me suffer. She always wanted that when we were children, why should she suddenly help me?

It already had made me suspicious yesterday. I needed to find out what it was that my sister wanted.

After a few more minutes of thinking without getting anywhere I chose to get up to start my practice. I had just changed into some training clothes, before a knock sounded from the door. Feeling a bit annoyed at getting disturbed so early I walked to the door, unlocked and opened it.

It surprised me to see my sister standing there. What did she want now?

She was still wearing her Earth Kingdom outfit, which I found truly confusing and strange. The Fire Nation had conquered Ba Sing Se, why was she still disguising herself? Why did she need to blend in?

"What are you doing here?" I asked, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

She lifted an eyebrow. "Wow, I guess it will take some time until you're going to remember your manners. You should practise it before we'll go back. You can practise with me. Normally we greet people in the morning with 'Good morning', Zuzu. Try it." She made a prompting hand gesture, smiling mockingly.

I stifled the urge to roll my eyes and cleared my throat. "Good morning, Azula."

"Good morning, Zuko. See, this wasn't so difficult, was it? Although next time you could leave this passive-aggressive tone out of your voice. You'll sound like a woman during her period."

Now I rolled my eyes. "I'll keep that in mind. Now, did you just come here to make fun of me?"  
She inspected her nails. "No, that just happened unintentionally. I came here to ask if you want to train with me. It's sunrise; I take it you're still practising at this time?"

I opened my mouth, probably to negate her offer, because she only ever had wanted to train with me to beat and humiliate me. I had no desire to go through that again. But… maybe it would be rather informative, seeing Azula bend and attack. Maybe I could learn some of her forms and become better at bending.

"You mean sparring?" I asked.

She shrugged. "If you want to. But I usually start with muscle and flexing training."

"Uh…" Great, so she still didn't meditate. I still needed to meditate in order to keep my fire controlled and not to tire so fast in a fight. My breathing was still not the best and I sucked at channelling my energy. But if I'd tell Azula that I needed to meditate first, she would clearly make fun of me and see the loser I was. Azula only needed to meditate for the first three years of her training, and even those had been a bit too long for her. After that she had had perfect control.

I knew that breathing and meditating had been very important in Uncle's training, but what had it ever done for me? Had it ever helped me to capture the Avatar?

Maybe meditating had even withheld my progress.

"O-okay. Yeah, sure." I nodded and stepped out of the room, closing and locking it behind me. I put the key in my pocket and looked expectantly at Azula.

She had an expression on her face which I couldn't quite define, but then she smirked and shrugged. "Great. Come on, there is a courtyard nearby where we can practise."

While we walked there I noticed that I had nothing to talk to her about. Well, actually I had some questions, but I didn't know if I could or should ask her that.

I wanted to know how she had been the last three years. Had she even missed me?

But I quickly dismissed the thought. Of course she hadn't. Just like I hadn't missed her.

But could I ask her why she had wanted me to join her side? Would she even tell me the truth?

The silence between us got quite uncomfortable and I had to think about Kilara and Nanuk, how naturally they had interacted. They had talked the whole time, even if they hadn't actually said anything, but they had looked so at ease and comfortable with each other. I wouldn't mind having a sister who I could treat like Nanuk treated his, but I was pretty sure that Azula wouldn't be that kind of sister. The moment I would tease her, she would probably swear revenge and find a way to humiliate me in front of everyone in the worst way ever.

In the courtyard we stood in front of each other and I had no idea what to do now. Should I just start my practise like every day?

Fortunately, Azula decided for me when she began with stretching. I noticed that she wasn't wearing so many layers of the other Earth Kingdom outfit, so that she was probably more comfortable like this.

I began moving my joints before I stretched my arms, legs and back. I was reminded of how a muscle had pulled in my stomach the day after Azula's attack on Uncle and how Kilara had forced me to let her heal me.

I swallowed, making sure to stretch in a way that would allow me to roll out of the way or defend myself quickly. "Azula?"

"What is it, Zuzu?" she asked, bending over to touch her toes. She pressed her whole hand to the ground.

"When we were in that deserted town and you attacked Uncle…" I started, but quickly knew that my question was dumb. Azula knew how to channel her energy and Kilara had said that Uncle could have died. So Azula had known that he would die.

"What about it, Zuko?"

I felt warned, because she used my real name. "Nothing, really."

She sighed and straightened, rolling her head on her neck. "I know what you want to know. Yes, I did it intentionally. I wanted Uncle to die. I think it is curious how he managed to survive, though. After all, I had struck him with a deadly fire blast."

She didn't sound suspicious, that was good.

I just stared at her and worried how it was that my fourteen year old sister talked so casually about killing a family member. But then again, she had already talked about Uncle dying at the age of eight, because she had wanted father to be Fire Lord and not Uncle.

She sighed again and suddenly her face went stern. "Zuko. This is not about feelings or our family. It is about the Fire Nation. The first time I had seen you after those three years I had understood at once that Uncle would betray our nation. But you… you were still able to change your destiny. I knew you wouldn't turn traitor, but I worried about what it would do to you to spend too much time with this old man. I wanted to get rid of him for your sake. For the sake of the Fire Nation." She had this convincing nearly friendly tone to her voice which reminded me of another situation, but I didn't know which. All I knew was that I had paid the price for believing in what she had said.

"And… When you had wanted to imprison us first? Did you already plan to kill Uncle then?" I rasped.

She frowned. "No. I thought I could keep you prisoners and thus, keep him away from you."

"But you still wanted to deliver me to the Fire Nation as prisoner! As an enemy!" I hissed, clenching my fists.

Azula narrowed her eyes. "I had my orders, Zuko. I do not wish to disrespect the Fire Lord, no matter what my own feelings are." This felt like a punch to my gut. "There was no way out of his situation," she explained, her voice becoming calming again. "I underestimated the Avatar. I thought I could take him alone, but he always had his little group with him, and his powers were actually strong. Did you know that father ordered a drill to be built to bore through the walls of Ba Sing Se?"

My eyes widened and I shook my head. Did that actually happen? Was this how Azula got into the city?

Azula looked around, looking bored out of her mind. "If this is going to be a long conversation, then let's sit down, Zuko. How noble people are doing things. We don't have to stand around like commoners." In a swift motion she sat down cross-legged and I followed more slowly, facing her, my hands on my knees.

"This drill was supposed to be perfect. The best of the best worked on it and when the operation started and father put me in charge, it was a great honour. Everyone expected the drill to be the reason why we would conquer Ba Sing Se this year. Uncle had taken six-hundred days to break through the outer wall. With the drill it would have been a question of minutes. But the Avatar and his friends destroyed the drill and we had to retreat. This group was good and I underestimated them again. After that I knew I needed more help. Mai and Ty Lee weren't enough. They couldn't even defeat two tired water tribe peasants who hadn't slept all night," she hissed. "You'd hunted them longer than anyone else. You would know them better than anyone else. I thought if we teamed up we would finally get them. I can admit it when I need help, Zuko. And I really needed yours." She smiled at me then, but I still raised an eyebrow.

"But what do you need me for now?" I asked. "There is nothing I can still help you with. The Avatar is dead. There is nothing threatening the Fire nation anymore."

She frowned. "You're right. But Zuko, through your help I managed to conquer Ba Sing Se. Don't think I'm not thankful and would snatch all the glory away. You have to be rewarded, brother. I meant what I'd said yesterday. You restored your own honour. You deserve it to come back home." There was the friendly smile again which made me feel uneasy. The last friendly smile Azula had directed at me had probably been before mother had died. Azula had been a pain in the ass sometimes, but we still had had some good times. It had been as if my sister had had two faces. A mean and manipulative one and a friendly and funny one. She had never been caring. But when we had played we both had had our fun. And it had been really easy to make her laugh then.

But still… Even if she meant it, father could think about this differently.

"I hope you're right," I said and stood up. "Come on. Enough talking. We'll miss the best part of the sunset, if we don't hurry."

Azula smiled again, this time it seemed more genuine and she stood up, and we just stood there, waiting, feeling the sun's energy filling our bodies and strengthening our inner flames.

My veins tingled with energy and I felt more alive than I'd ever did before. After a few minutes the shadows moved away and Azula and I stood in the orange light of the morning sun.

"It feels different here than at home," Azula said quietly.

"It's hotter at home."

"Not just that. It's as if there was a special energy path from the sun to the Fire Nation."

"Maybe it was no coincidence that our people chose to live there," I assumed.

Azula snickered. "You always think too much about the past."

I shrugged. "It's not that bad. You can learn from it."

I guess it was due to the sun's energy that I felt Azula moving next to me so fast, because I was quick enough to flic-flac out of the way of her punch.

I quickly took a fighting stance and raised an eyebrow.

"Like you said, brother. Enough talking," my sister grinned devilishly and this time added fire to her punch.

_**Kilara**_

After I had told Nanuk and dad everything we had talked long into the night.

Fortunately, they were both on my side, seeing that Zuko was not evil, only on the wrong path, thinking he was doing the right thing. I was immensely relieved when none of them shouted at me for being so naïve and dumb. I had expected dad to react calm like this, but I thought it strange that Nanuk did not scold me at all. But I kept this to myself.

We had talked about leaving Ba Sing Se, to go back to uncle Aiguo and maybe figure out a way how we all could flee from the war, but none of us had actually been serious. We all did not want something to happen to the others, but we all wanted to stay here.

The city was occupied, so what? We could still live here and continue our lives. I still wanted to study and Nanuk still wanted to finish his internship.

And dad… well, dad would never stop teaching if he wasn't forced to.

But despite all that I was afraid. What would the Fire Nation do to Ba Sing Se? Would it destroy everything about its culture and force us to practise the fire culture? Would our lives change so drastically?

I was expecting lots of controls and making us swearing oaths to our loyalty to the Fire Nation and throw us in prison, if we did not swear. I expected soldiers to misbehave and to start fights, for which the Earth Kingdom people would always get punished. But these were no things I couldn't handle. And I was confident that my family could handle this, too. We just had to be smart, not let them provoke us and only being outside at good times. I, for example, should not walk in the streets alone at night. I would need three men with me, at least, or the soldiers would still think I'd be worth a fight.

I might not have any experiences with the male sex (except two kisses from two boys) and I might still be a bit unsure and shy about it, especially about my feelings, but I knew what soldiers could be like. I knew what led to violations and I knew what some men would do to a woman or girl without ever feeling regret about it. My skin crawled at such thoughts and I always wanted to punch someone, but I knew about these things. I was no dumb and naïve child. And theoretically I could always protect myself.

The fire soldiers would never expect me to be a bloodbender. And I was a damn good bloodbender.

My mother had made sure of that, drilling me to be a bloodbender by instinct, not to need to move my hands to make another body move to my will. I'd hated these lessons, but I was actually glad to have this ability. It was always my last weapon. I knew I always still had something up my sleeve. But I didn't want anyone from the Fire Nation to know about my ability. If they knew they'd hunt me down and either just kill me, or turn me into a weapon they could use for their benefit. So if I used it on a soldier, he'd talk. I didn't know if I would be ready to kill with bloodbending, therefore I'd rather avoid any situation in which bloodbending could ever be necessary. To protect myself and the people I loved.

I was sure I'd manage to stay calm about this situation. I would not fall for any trap of theirs.

oOo

Shortly before lunch time someone knocked loudly at our door.

I was still in my room, but when Nanuk opened my door and only looked at me, I knew it was time. They were here.

Nanuk, dad, San and I looked like normal innocent, spoiled and dumb Earth Kingdom people who were well-off. We weren't wealthy, but the soldiers could see that we had a good life. Living in the middle ring was already something desirable.

We all managed to show the right amount of confusion about the Fire Nation soldier standing in front of our door, flanked by two others, which looked like a rank lower and two Dai Li agents. This really took me by surprise. I thought the Dai Li was there to protect Ba Sing Se. I thought it was their mission to keep the culture of Ba Sing Se alive. How should this work with a Fire Nation regime?

I had a hard time not to glare at those two. They were Earth Kingdom people! How could they betray their country, their people, for these idiots who had started this war? Couldn't they see that the Fire Nation was doing wrong? I really wanted to beat some sense into them.

"Family Huang, please take notice that the Fire Nation has conquered Ba Sing Se," the soldier said and I shivered, feeling uneasy that he knew our family name.

"Conquered?" dad asked, sounding slightly confused.

I looked at them with the most fear I could put into my eyes.

The soldier nodded. "The Fire Nation has started a war, a hundred years ago to share our power, progress, wealth and superiority with the world. Now, finally also Ba Sing Se will profit from being under the Fire Nation's regime. The Dai Li had kept the truth hidden, wanting to control the Earth King and the people. Now this manipulation is over. You are free now and not lied to anymore. Please take notice of the new bills Princess Azula had introduced." He handed dad a scroll. "Your lives will change for the better, I can assure you this. The Fire Nation will do everything to share its wealth with you. You should be glad to be under Fire Lord Ozai's rule now. Kneel before your new king, Fire Lord Ozai!"

I panicked for a second, thinking he would just step from behind the Dai Li agents, but the fire soldier only held a painting of the Fire Lord. Keeping my face naïve and afraid I knelt to the ground.

"Will you swear to be loyal to the Fire Nation and only the Fire Nation?"

We still looked confused, but when the two flanking soldiers raised flaming hands, the right amount of fear entered our faces. We quickly pressed our foreheads to the ground.

"I swear to be loyal to the Fire Nation and only the Fire Nation," we said.

"Will you swear to be loyal to the Fire Lord and the royal family?"

"I swear to be loyal to the Fire Lord and the royal family."

"Will you swear to follow every bill and every law from the Fire Nation law book?"

"I swear to follow every bill and every law from the Fire Nation law book."

"And do you swear to follow every order a Fire Nation person will give you?"

I almost didn't swear this one. It was only about a _person_ from the Fire Nation? This meant that we weren't persons to them at all. We didn't hold the same worth Fire Nation people held. We would not be allowed to think for ourselves. By making us swear this, we would be like slaves to the Fire Nation.

But resisting swearing the oath now? This would be dumb. I normally meant every vow and every promise, but this was only verbal, I didn't need to sign anything, so I didn't need to mean it.

"I swear to follow every order a Fire Nation person will give me," I said, together with my family.

This was it. Two hours from now and the whole city would know. Every refugee who had sought happiness and peace, every person who had had no idea of the war. The walls had been there to protect us, but now they would become a prison.

I had chosen to be smart about this, but that didn't mean I wouldn't try anything to help the people of Ba Sing Se. I would not do nothing and I would not give up on Ba Sing Se without a fight. These people deserved better. The Dai Li was still my enemy, but now they had back-up from the Fire Nation. But I knew the Fire Nation. Maybe this wouldn't be a disadvantage at all. I would figure something out.

* * *

_Well... I actually wanted to put some more into this chapter, but I cannot control what my fingers type and in the end I didn't think it was that bad. Okay, maybe Kira's and Zuko's friendship isn't so well now, but don't worry, this won't be the last time Kira and Zuko see each other before the end of book three. But Kira will not go to the Fire Nation, if anyone is thinking of that. _

_Some of you might have wondered if I'll stick to the events of how Zuko and Mai became a couple from the comic "The Lost Adventures", because these events would happen in one or two weeks in this story. The answer is yes. I'll use the scenes from the comic, because to me the comics are canon, too, although some might be more for fun or entertainment than for telling an actual story._

_**Important: **I'll have the final exams of this semester in two weeks, so I will definitely not be able to update next week, but by the end of July you should be able to read the next chapter. At least, I hope so. But I'd rather continue writing this story than spendi__ng my time studying! *Sigh* Have a nice week everybody!:)_


	12. Chapter 12

_I am so so sorry for the long wait! I really wanted to have this chapter finished by the middle of last week, but somehow it wasn't so easy to write... This has taken me forever, and I don't even know why! After I wrote the last chapter for_ When Zuko Needed A Girlfriend _I immediately started writing this chapter, but... it was a tricky chapter, since I didn't know well where I wanted to go with this. __ However, I hope I'll be able to go back to weekly updates after this long wait. _

_I have noticed that saving changes on the documents on fanfiction is not enough for the readers to actually see it, so I replaced every chapter with the edited document. Now you can read answers to reviews at the end of chapters and sometimes I wrote something at the beginning of a hapter (just like here). I would really recommend to you to read the first chapter again, since the author's note there explains why I even started writing this fanfiction. _

_I hope you'll like this chapter. Enjoy reading! And if you do, then please review!_

_I do not own Avatar The Last Airbender, nor its characters. The only characters I own are my OCs._

* * *

**Chapter Twelve**

**Oppressive Silence**

_**Kilara**_

The day the Fire Nation soldiers went to every household and declared they had taken over Ba Sing Se was the most quiet day I had ever experienced in Ba Sing Se. Except for the noises inside our house, which weren't much, only papers rustling, and pans and pots rattling, everything was dead quiet. There was not one person out on the streets and I felt unsettled at the thought of leaving the house tomorrow. The week-end was over, tomorrow I would have to go to school again.

I couldn't concentrate on studying, so I sat together with Nanuk on the sofa in dad's study and read a book. Nanuk seemed bored, but I knew he didn't want to be alone, either.

It really was a mystery to me how dad could just keep working, after having heard that the Fire Nation ruled now over Ba Sing Se. But maybe he just tried to look calm, so that we weren't afraid. Sighing, I went back to reading my book.

Later in the afternoon a second announcement from the soldiers came, telling us that Princess Azula had killed the Avatar. We already knew this, but I think that this was a very bad surprise for everyone else. I thought about why Princess Azula had waited with this announcement, but I almost understood immediately. After the people had heard that the Fire Nation took over, they had still had hope, thinking the Avatar would still be able to save them. But now after hours of hoping and reassuring each other, their hopes were crushed. This was incredibly cruel from the princess, but I had to give her credit for this idea.

Zuko had never talked much about her, so I had always assumed he didn't like her, but I thought now that I had been wrong. Maybe he had missed her and had been sad that she had had to chase him. Maybe that's why he sided with her. But she had almost killed his uncle, dammit!

My heart immediately sank at the thought of Iroh. What had happened to him? Zuko had said he wasn't okay, so was he imprisoned? Being a traitor, would he be executed? And if the Avatar was dead, what had happened to his friends? To Katara, Sokka, and Toph. I grimaced when I felt my heart contorting at the thought of Toph. She had been annoying, but I understood that. She wanted to show that she was not a little and fragile girl. Did she make it? Did the Water Tribe siblings make it, too? Or were they imprisoned? And what happened to the king? Was he murdered? How did Azula take over the Dai Li? Weren't they the ones keeping this war a secret in the first place? Why now jeopardising the peace and harmony inside these walls for a girl who was on the other side of this war? What did she do to them? Drugs or simple threats? I doubted that she had brought them on her side by talking nice…

My family kept pretending as if everything was normal and okay for the rest of the day, but we didn't let the others out of our sight for the whole day.

Later, I tried studying again, since I still had some homework for Wednesday, and I didn't want to do it at the last minute. Nanuk kept me company, sketching a bit, while lying on my bed. I thought he drew some houses or other buildings for his internship.

This night, Nanuk and I slept in dad's bed, since it was large enough for all three of us. Nanuk was the first to fall asleep, as usual, and I was glad in this moment to be with the two persons who meant more to me than anyone else. Dad and I lied on our backs, staring at the ceiling.

It was strange that dad wasn't already sleeping, too, since he normally didn't have problems with that. But I guess this situation also affected him in a bad way.

"I wish I would have left you with Aiguo," he whispered after some time.

I frowned, but saw where he was coming from. "I don't. I would get sick with worry if you were here alone."

Dad sighed, smiling. "But it is not your responsibility to protect me. I have to protect you two. I'm the father."

I turned on my side, snuggling closer to him, pressing my forehead against his neck. "I know. But you have to be realistic, dad. You're not a fighter. Nanuk and I can defend ourselves. You don't have to worry about us."

Dad wrapped an arm around me, kissing my hair. "And if you two were the strongest benders on Earth, I would still worry. It's not everything always about you, but also about the opponents. What if they will just do something horrible, because they want to? Because they can?"

"I know. But we cannot do more than to be cautious and to try not to get their attention," I murmured.

"When did you become so wise?"

I grinned. "I guess it happened, while I was bored in uncle' house and read so many scrolls and books."

Dad sighed again and when I looked at him, I saw that he seemed sad and I knew that he was probably thinking about mum. "You two are my most important treasure. You are the best that ever happened to me, and now… without Kadona… I just feel like I don't know what to do."  
"You're a great dad!" I whispered fiercely. Of course, he had his mistakes and sometimes I didn't feel as if he would take the responsibility of a father with enough awareness, but after hearing what the Fire Lord did to his son, dad seemed like a super hero to me. I had always loved to talk to him about his studies, listening to the interesting things he worked on or found out and asking him questions. And most importantly, he was here. He stayed with us after mum's death, and then after he had left for his studies, he had come back. We were all together now and I knew that dad loved us more than anything. "Believe me, I wouldn't want to trade you for any other dad! Nanuk and I wouldn't ever want to be anywhere else, if that meant not to be with you!"

"Thanks, Kira. You're good at comforting."

I smiled and dad kissed my hair again. Somehow that helped me to fall asleep.

_**Zuko**_

I knew this was stupid. And I knew I needed my sleep, too. I couldn't stay awake all night, I'd be like dead the next day. And Azula wanted to spar again! How should I spar with her, if I didn't get any sleep? She so would humiliate me! Even worse than today.

Sighing I slumped down a bit, my arms hugging my knees, while I waited. I didn't even know what I was waiting for. Soldiers to act against Azula's orders? Earth Kingdom people to start a rebellion?

My gaze wandered east again and I scowled. No, I would not go there.

Narrowing my eyes I stared ahead of me again.

Even if this was stupid, at least I had something to do. Since breakfast my day had been awfully boring and I hadn't known anything to do. So I basically trained the whole time or hid from Ty Lee.

Training had somehow lost its sense to me. I didn't need to train to beat the Avatar. I didn't need to beat Azula. I didn't need to prove that I was better than Azula. I didn't need to prove it to myself. I knew I wasn't better than her and that I'd probably never be as good as her. Azula knew that, too, and father… Well, I wouldn't need to prove anything if I wasn't wanted home, right?

Azula might think she did me a favour, but after telling Kilara how I got my scar… old insecurities (or weren't they old after all?) had risen. I wondered now if I might even get punished for not being able to capture the Avatar. Maybe it displeased father that the Avatar was killed and not captured. If he had wanted him killed, he could have just given me this mission, and not telling me to capture him. Had he wanted or needed the Avatar for something? Either way, I didn't know if I could go back. It sounded strange, because that was all I had wanted for the last three years, but it didn't feel like I had always thought it would and that made me hesitating. Fearing father's reaction and my own emotions made me almost seventy percent sure that I would not go back.

Knowing this I didn't know why to train anymore. For what was I fighting? The Avatar was dead, my honour was back and I didn't want to go back, begging for father's acceptance. I guess I was only practising because it was my routine. I had always practised my fighting skills, even as a refugee in the lower ring.

I had understood that I could choose my own path. Uncle had always encouraged me in finding my own destiny and maybe that's what I should do now. It saddened me that due to Uncle's choices he would not be able to be part of this destiny, but he had brought this on himself. How long would it take me to get over the fact that Uncle had betrayed me? Okay, only one day had passed, but still.

Sighing I chose to give into the urge to turn east and got up, balancing on the pointy roof top I had sat on.

Sneaking past the Dai Li gave me a big ego push and adrenaline rush. I felt invincible and as if what I was doing still had some sense. Not being seen by the soldiers who patrolled the streets was way easier. I had just needed to observe them for a few minutes, before I had known how to avoid being spotted. And I was good at remembering the houses, streets, alleys and roofs I used to move through the rings. There actually were more guards in the middle ring than in the upper ring, which I found strange. I knew that Azula did make every decision here, so why had she thought she wouldn't need as many guards in the upper ring? Didn't she want to be protected? But maybe that was all there was to that. She probably thought she didn't need any protection.

My feet carried me quietly and quickly in the direction I had avoided for the last two hours and I tried not to think about that.

Sneaking out of the former Earth King's palace had almost been something to do out of instinct today. I hadn't needed to think about it, it had just happened. Right after dinner I had excused myself, because I didn't want to spend the evening with Azula and her friends. Ty Lee was way too cheery and talked too much, whereas Mai didn't seem to care about anything. And Azula was annoying, because she could read me so easily. Besides, I couldn't afford to let her read me more. She shouldn't know that there were things, or better people, that I kept secret from her. And being in my room I had almost immediately grabbed for my dark grey clothes.

It was my own fault, though, that my day had been so boring. Azula had invited me to meetings on the matter how to proceed and what to do with Ba Sing Se. She needed people here she could trust, people who would do everything for the Fire Nation, but I wouldn't trust a Dai Li agent farther than I could throw him, and Fire Nation soldiers would probably want to return home. There were rules and laws about the Earth Kingdom people which had to be passed. But I had no desire to sit with some stiff and sensitive old men in a war chamber. Especially when I knew that I couldn't be of any help. In the end, I would probably speak out of turn again, maybe even to protect Earth Kingdom people.

I landed on the neighbour house's roof, lowering myself in a crouch. I put my fingers lightly on the roof and bent forwards. The house in front of me was dark. I couldn't make out any lights coming from the windows. This wasn't so strange, since it was already late, but yesterday they had still been up at this time.

I crawled to the edge of the roof and stood up, knowing I couldn't jump unto the neighbour house's roof. But I could jump into the garden, so that the fence wouldn't be an obstacle anymore.

Having landed quietly, I crouched down in the grass, waiting for any indication that someone had heard or seen me. But I heard nothing, so I stood up again and crept along the wall, making sure to stay under the window sills.

When I reached the room I had aimed for I noticed my mistake. Curtains were hanging behind the window. I couldn't see a thing when I peeked into the room. How could I know like this that Kilara was fine? If I couldn't see her lying in her bed, then what sense did my sneaking around had? So I didn't know if she was safe. I didn't know if she had belonged to the people who had been defiant at the soldiers today and were in prison. I know that I could have just asked Azula to let me look at them, but that would have raised her suspicions. It was better to see it for myself.

But now my plan blew back in my face, like almost everything did. Maybe I should risk it to sneak into the prison.

But maybe Kilara was somewhere else in the house, in a room without curtains. Hoping I would find her soon and be sure that she was safe I kept creeping around the house.

_**Kilara**_

Holy depths of the ocean, what on earth was _he_ doing here?

I nearly jumped out of bed, when I sensed his body move outside in the garden. But I simply tensed and waited.

Dad and Nanuk were both snuggled up close to me, and I didn't want to wake them up.

I concentrated on the water in Zuko's body, following his movements with my mind. Was he… was he actually creeping? He moved slightly ducked, slowly and cautiously.

What was he doing? Did he want to break in again? Why would he, now that he was Crown Prince again? What was he even doing here? I thought I had made it clear that I didn't want to see him again! I turned my head, looking at the window. It was a little bit open to let the night air in and the curtains were drawn back.

Did I have enough time to get up and close the window? But then again I didn't need protection from Zuko. He might know now about my secret power, but he still would not be able to defend himself against my grip.

A few seconds later he peeked into the room. I pretended to be asleep and felt for his water.

He was only looking, not tensing to jump in at all. Quite the contrary, he relaxed after a few seconds, but kept looking.

Why was he relaxing? This was so strange. All I wanted was for him to go away, because I couldn't relax at all. I wanted to feel safe enough to sleep, but with Zuko here this wasn't possible.

I heard him sigh and felt how he rubbed his face. Then he got up and moved away.

I was close to be happy and relaxed again, but just before I couldn't feel his body anymore he stopped. Frowning I concentrated more on his water, but I only sensed that he was still near, but I couldn't exactly make out where or what he was doing.

Dammit, Zuko! Now he had to rob me off my sleep? Wasn't it enough that because of him I couldn't concentrate on anything during the day?

I was thinking about getting up and demand that he'll leave, but if I would admit that I was awake, I wouldn't get to know what he was up to.

Sighing, I settled on my back, staring at the ceiling, feeling for his water and going through the events that had led Chin the Conqueror to take over the Earth Kingdom in chronological order. I would need to know that for tomorrow's class anyway, so it was probably good I was doing that.

The only problem was that Chin the Conqueror was a very boring topic in my opinion and I fell asleep rather quickly, despite the tingling feeling of Zuko's body water at the edge of my consciousness.

oOo

Dad woke me up the next day and I needed to hurry to get ready for my course. Zuko was gone, fortunately, and I could actually think about something else.

It almost felt like a normal day, quickly eating breakfast, Nanuk teasing me, since he could still stay at home for over an hour, and dad reading a scroll while drinking tea, sometimes saying things like "Nanuk! Don't be mean! Stop teasing your sister.", but it also felt as if we were pretending. Pretending that everything was fine when it clearly wasn't.

Although Nanuk had teased me about this, he left the house with me, insisting on accompanying me to the school.

For the first time since I lived in Ba Sing Se I took a water skin with me, when I left the house. There were a few other children going in the direction of the school, but they all were accompanied by adults. A couple with only one child actually moved closer to Nanuk and me, while they were walking behind us.

Nanuk tensed, but I laid a hand on his shoulder, trying to tell him through my look that they had no ill intentions. They just saw two teenagers walking alone in times of war. Their parental instinct probably told them to try to protect us.

The smaller children were still talking, but even they noticed something was off, since their chatter died a few minutes later. I felt like being part of a funeral cortege. All of us dead quiet, while walking through the streets and even the few adults who were going to work walked more cautiously than normal. Everything was slower, no one hurried, as if they were afraid to catch someone's attention. But there was no Fire Nation soldier to be seen on our way, only when we entered the school district did we see soldiers guarding the area.

All of us had to show our student IDs to be let in. Nanuk waited next to the line to see me walking in. When I did I turned around to smile at him reassuringly and waved.

He nodded, waved back, and turned around, walking back home.

I nervously licked my lips and scanned the area for more Fire Nation soldiers, wanting to know where they stood and why. Most places were pretty obvious, since it was an entrance to the school district, but at other places I had to look longer to understand why they guarded them.

Some spots would give students good opportunities to leave the school building unseen, but now the soldiers were standing there. Other spots were guarded, because they seemed like the most likely places for earthbenders to attack. Altogether there were more than thirty people in dark red uniforms with spiky helmets standing still and more than twenty being on patrol. It seemed to me like an irrational high number of soldiers to be spared from an army. Weren't there more important places to be guarded? Public places like squares or the prisons of course? Why was the Fire Princess so much scared of students?

Narrowing my eyes I looked up, searching for soldiers on the rooftops of the school buildings, because they would be able to see more and better from up there. And I was right, there certainly were soldiers patrolling the rooftops. It sent an icy chill down my spine.

This was so crazy. Why guarding students? The children here were hardly any fighters. Most of them were just spoiled rich kids who thought they were something special, because they got an education.

I took some time on my way to the entrance, trying to memorise all places where Fire Nation soldiers stood. I needed to know how I could escape the school district, if it ever became necessary.

Two soldiers walking straight in my direction caught my eye, and I frowned. They weren't really…

I pretended not to have noticed them and continued to walk slowly towards the school building's entrance, when they suddenly flanked me.

My legs weren't able to move anymore and I stopped, my whole body tensing. I swallowed and put my hands in my broad sleeves, feeling for my water skin.

The soldiers stepped around me, standing in front of me.

"Student ID," one of them (I thought it was the left one, but with their helmets on their voice sounded so muffled, I couldn't make out where it came from) demanded.

I pulled it out of my bag, trying to look confused, innocent and scared at the same time. They needed to think I hadn't done anything wrong and was wondering why they had stopped me, but they were like two heads taller than me, wearing red armor made of metal, so who would not be scared, especially when they were standing so close? Ugh, I hated it when people stepped into my personal space. It was exhausting to keep my feet on the ground, and not going two steps back.

The soldier on my left took my student ID card and seemed to study it thoroughly, though I wouldn't be able to tell, not able to see his eyes and all…

"Kilara Huang?" he said.

"Yes?" I asked with a weak voice, forcing my eyes to widen as much as they could instead of narrowing them, swallowing.

"The soldiers are here for your protection. Many uneducated and almost uncivilised people from the lower ring didn't take the power shift well, nor the fact that the middle and upper ring swore to be loyal to the Fire Lord. We don't expect them to attack, but it is better to be cautious in these times. You don't have to know how many of us will be here or who will be patrolling. Just know that we'll be here to protect the future of Ba Sing Se." His voice sounded a little bit passionate, as if he truly believed in what he said. The princess probably told them what to tell the students, since I couldn't believe she actually thought the lower ring was really going to attack the upper rings.

I couldn't stop myself from frowning, since the explanation was not the slightest bit convincing, but… Of course! '…to protect the future of Ba Sing Se.' We were the future of Ba Sing Se! They were here to get us used to Fire Nation soldiers, to make us think their presence was normal, to make us think we needed them to protect us, so that we wouldn't rebel against them in the future. Students learned a lot, they were intelligent and educated, they knew that war always came with a price, and when they would become older, they could think about plans to take Ba Sing Se back. But they wouldn't do this, if they thought that the Fire Nation soldiers were right to be here.

I let my mouth stand slightly open and blinked at them. "Oh, really?" I gasped and slowly shook my head, letting out a shocked sigh. "I'm sorry if I looked distrustful, but your armours look kind of scary. I guess we should all be thankful for your protection. And for the princess' foreknowledge, if the lower ring is really going to attack." I frowned again deeply, tried to look disgusted and shocked at the same time.

The soldiers looked each other up and down.

The one standing to my right lifted his hand to rub his neck. "Well, she's right, you know. To little innocent children we look kind of scary. Have you ever seen Earth Kingdom soldiers? They show a lot of bare skin, while we don't look like humans at all."

"What are you talking about? We have legs, arms, a torso and a head. Of course we look human!"

"But platypus bears have that, too, and they are not human!"

The soldier to the right didn't move and I could almost imagine his dry look.

The other soldier probably felt it, too, since he shrugged and murmured: "I'm just saying."

"Okay," the other one groaned and looked back at me. "Maybe we can get a permit for taking off our helmets. Would that be better, little girl?"

I didn't like to be called that, since I was normally referred to as 'Miss Huang', but I smiled broadly and nodded. "Oh, yes. That would probably make lots of us feel much better!"

He gave me back my student ID card and stepped out of my way. "Enjoy your lessons!"

"Thank you!" I smiled and bowed in the style of the Fire Nation. I took an inconspicuous deep breath, after I had walked past them. This had been difficult, but probably necessary. I needed to get better at acting and trying to convince people of the untruth, if I wanted to draw any advantage of this situation.

On the way to my course I only saw a few familiar faces, but in our room there were a lot of seats empty. The lesson would start in five minutes, but only a quarter of the class was present.

The boys looked at me with wide eyes, clearly having thought that I would stay at home during times of war. Well, they thought wrong.

Cheng narrowed his eyes at me, while Fu's mouth stood actually open and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. I gave them all a nervous but sweet smile and sat down at my usual seat.

But they apparently didn't want me to be left alone.

When they appeared in front of my desk I didn't manage to stifle a sigh. "Good morning, Cheng, Fu. Can I help you with something?"

They looked at each other, before Cheng shoved his glasses back and crossed his arms. "What are you even doing here? Thinking you'll be perceived as more intelligent, now that half of the class are missing?" he drawled, holding his chin high.

"It's more than the half, actually," I let him know. "I just want to come here. Why are you here?" I asked back, putting a slightly challenging undertone to my voice.

"Because I will be the best in this class. So if you think you would have gotten rid of me, just because some Fire Nation soldiers are walking around, you're wrong. You still have the chance to leave the course, you know." He smirked arrogantly and raised one eyebrow.

"Oh, I didn't think I had gotten rid of you, Cheng! I would be very disappointed, if you wouldn't come to class anymore. After all, I need someone I will beat at every exercise." I leaned back, folding my arms and smirking back.

Fu frowned. "Are you really not afraid of the soldiers, Kilara?" he asked.

Cheng shot him a glare, probably because Fu had used my real name. Ever since they had talked to me for the first time they kept addressing me with Kura, Kogara and whatever else they did come up with.

My mouth twisted and I didn't really know how to respond. Was it better to show strength or to admit a weakness? Sighing I bent forward. "Of course I'm afraid. Everyone is. We barely know what had happened or what's going on. But as long as this school is open I'm going to come here to get my UMDB, because I want to study at the university," I explained, my voice getting louder than intended.

Fu nodded slowly. "Yeah, I'm feeling the same way."

Cheng rolled his eyes, but didn't say anything.

It was Shu Jee, who was always sitting in a corner and not talking much, who surprised everyone by speaking. "I guess that's why we all are here. We care more about knowledge and wisdom than some war."

Murmurs of agreement sounded in the room, but I contorted my brows. "I wouldn't say this. The war has been raging for a hundred years now, all the airbenders are dead. Gaining knowledge means nothing compared to what has happened, if we don't use the knowledge for good."

The door slammed shut, and I flinched, whipping my head around.

Professor Chiu stood there, staring at us with an unreadable expression.

Cheng and Fu tried to hurry as inconspicuously as possible to their seats.

"Miss Huang is quite right. Wisdom doesn't do anything. It doesn't changes anything, if people don't use it. Very well said, Miss Huang," he said, inclining his head slightly and heading to his desk.

I blushed and stared at my lap. Chiu had never praised me like this in front of "the whole" class before.

Seconds later he began the lecture and I was glad that we only started right where we had ended last time. A reflection of Chin's conquest.

I stared at the door for a couple more minutes, but decided to let it drop after ten minutes. Denzai would not show up anymore. Did his parents make him stay? Had he wanted to stay at home?

Nodding to myself I decided to visit him later.

_**Zuko**_

I had managed to find a way into the dungeon of the palace. It was way darker in here than in any other place of the palace and not even those glowing crystals were growing here. The paths and steps led to a place which had to be more than ten metres under the palace.

I was wearing a cloak, so that no one would recognise me, because I didn't think it would look good for a former opponent to visit a traitor. I had still trouble getting it into my head what Uncle had done. It made just no sense.

It's not like I really thought siding with Azula would get me father's love, but I was still loyal to my nation. And Uncle obviously didn't care about his roots anymore.

Sighing I cautiously sneaked through the empty hallways, glancing in every cell. Uncle was a traitor and I didn't want anything to do with him anymore, but he was also still my uncle. I needed to make sure that he was okay. As okay as he could be. Was his cell as small as those here? Did it reek? Did he need to pee in a bucket? Would he only get water or also tea to drink? He'd probably lose a lot of weight with the prison food, but losing too much weight in a short time wasn't healthy. What if he would pass out? I needed to know where he was kept to be able to know of his state.

I cautiously peeked around a corner and finally! I had found him! In front of no other cell had been two soldiers positioned. Only Uncle would need that many guards. And the door to his cell was a bit broader, too. I'd bet it was made of nonscaling steel and was several decimetres thick.

But how was I going to check on Uncle, if there would always be soldiers standing there?

I went back, looking for more corridors to find a way onto the other side of Uncle's cell. I didn't want to hurt these soldiers, only to lure them away.

Finding the other end of the corridor, I wrapped a rope around a torch and made my way back, letting the rope untangle itself. Back in my initial spot I tugged heavily at the rope, causing the torch on the other side to rattle. I peeked around the corner and saw how the guards jumped into a fight stance, slowly approaching the noise.

The moment they were out of sight (and honestly, how dumb were they to leave the door of a prisoner unguarded) I quickly darted to Uncle's cell and opened the small gap to see how Uncle was doing. I tugged at the rope again, to make the soldiers walk even further away.

Uncle lied on a pallet, his hands behind his head as he stared at the ceiling. His face looked grim, but he looked up as he heard the metal being slid aside.

His facial expression didn't change, he still looked grim, maybe even more so. His hair was a bit ruffled and he only wore brown prison clothes. His honey coloured eyes were slightly narrowed, before he turned away, sitting down in the middle of the room cross-legged, his back turned towards me.

Frowning I opened my mouth to tell him why I had come here, but I heard the guards approaching again, so I quickly closed the small slit again and hurried away as quietly as I could.

_**Kilara**_

After knocking at Denzai's door I waited longer than ever before for someone to open it.

A servant only opened the door to a slit and peeked through it. His eyes widened after seeing me and he quickly opened the door to let me in. "Miss Kilara! Please come in!"

I smiled and entered the house, feeling the difference also in here. I could normally always hear at least one sibling of Denzai's playing an instrument or talking or laughing, but today… nothing.

"Is Denzai in his room?" I asked.

The servant nodded. "Yes, he is."

"Thank you," I said softly and inclined my head, before I walked down the hallways to my friend's room.

Denzai was not alone. His little brother Xiaobo sat next to him and both were looking at their older sister Huiqing who sat across from them. They were playing a card game, but each of them looked up, when I entered the room.

"Hi," I greeted them, waving a bit. "Can I come in?"

Denzai smiled brightly. "Of course. Wanna play dust?"

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. "You know how to play this? I'm impressed," I grinned, closing the door behind me and smiled at Denzai's siblings who smiled back at me. "And here I thought Earth Kingdom people only know how to play mud!"

Huiqing chuckled a bit. "Maybe outside of Ba Sing Se, Kilara. But our culture hasn't changed for the last hundred years."

I felt a lump in my throat, but smiled nonetheless. "Yes, that's true." I sat down next to her. "But you guys go finish this round. I'll play in the next one."

Denzai's eyes sparkled, as he beamed at me. "I'm glad you're visiting. Were you on your way home?"

I shook my head. "No, I've already been at home to tell our housekeeper that I would be here. Otherwise Nanuk will run amok later if he won't know where to find me." I said this in a slightly amused tone, and normally this was really funny, but now… Everyone was much more cautious. I would have normally not even told San where I was going, but now I had felt the need to do so.

Xiaobo still chuckled a bit. Maybe he didn't grasp the seriousness of this situation yet.

"How is your family, Kilara?" Huiqing asked me in a soft tone.

I looked at her, how she was staring at her cards and putting a strand of her hair behind her ear. "They are well. A bit overprotective lately, though."

Huiqing nodded smiling and put an acolyte card on the stack.

Xiaobo groaned. "Not the acolyte again!"

Huiqing grinned and I had to, too. "So Xiaobo, you have to tell us a joke."

Denzai giggled and Xiaobo glared at him, before he pouted. "I don't know any more jokes! You're cheating! There can't be more than four acolytes and you already used five!"

Huiqing furrowed her brows. "That's not true. This is my third acolyte."

"Still. How come you've got so many acolytes?"

"You gave the cards! Do it better next time then, if you don't want me to have three acolytes! Now tell us a joke," she demanded.

Xiaobo crossed his arms and shoved his lower lip forward. "No! I don't want to play anymore!"

"How about you use a joker?" I asked, tapping my chin.

"A joker?" Xiaobo asked hesitantly.

I nodded. "Yes. Everybody gets three jokers. If you use yours now, I'll tell the joke and you'll be still in the game."

"Oh no!" Denzai groaned and let his head hang.

"Hey, you'll get me as a joker, too!" I said, stemming my hands on my hips.

He shook his head. "It's not that. But your jokes are terrible."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "It's called original. I make up every one of them on my own." Then I turned to Xiaobo and smiled softly. "Just say that I'll be your joker and I get you through this."

He was already smiling broadly and nodded. "Kilara is my joker."

Grinning I leaned back, and knew exactly which joke I was going to tell. "What do people say when a waterbender attacks and drenches them?"

Huiqing blinked and shrugged, while Xiaobo's mouth stood open. "Wow, I have no idea!" he exclaimed.

Denzai had twisted his mouth and looked at me, expecting the answer to be something stupid. Ha, he was in for a shock!

"'That's so cool!'", I answered, grinning widely.

Huiqing was polite enough to smile, while Denzai groaned.

Xiaobo looked confused. "I don't understand. Why is it cool to be drenched?"

I smiled and raised a finger. "Because the waterbending moves look cool and the water feels cool, too, young Xiaobo."

His eyes widened, and then he began to laugh loudly and honestly. I was very pleased that at least one person here noticed the genius of my jokes.

oOo

This night Nanuk and I slept in dad's bed again. None of us wanted to be alone, and even if this day had been okay, no one was able to say that living under the Fire Nation's regime would be like this forever.

Dad had no problem falling asleep this night and Nanuk neither. They both slept like rocks. Probably an earthbender thing, while not being able to fall asleep and feeling awake during the night was maybe a waterbender thing. I'd never read anything about this, so I couldn't be sure.

A few minutes later I knew for sure I was wrong, since my theory meant that firebenders would sleep at night, too, and feel really awake at day, but this couldn't be true, since there was a firebender in the garden again!

I nearly groaned in annoyance.

I had closed the window and the curtains earlier, since I hadn't wanted Zuko to peek in here again. But I could feel his blood rushing faster and his heart pumping harder, every time he came across a closed curtain. When he had walked around the house, he started pacing in the garden and didn't calm down!

I was glaring at the ceiling and trying to decide if I should go find out why he was here and what had put him so on edge. Surely not the closed curtains. Maybe there was something else with the windows that one could only see from the outside.

Sighing I got up, climbing over Nanuk's body and went into the living room, where I pulled the curtain to the side and opened the door to the courtyard. From here I would need to round a corner to get to Zuko, so he didn't know yet that I was out here.

While I was hesitantly approaching him I could hear him murmur to himself. He was still pacing and was pulling at his hair. I pressed my back against the wall, staying out of his line of sight and closed my eyes to be able to feel his water better.

Suddenly he stopped pacing and touched his chin lightly, poking with his other finger in the air. He started walking again, but this time a lot slower than before.

What the tsunami was he doing?

A few seconds later I could hear him groaning in a frustrated manner and he touched his forehead, while he kept murmuring to himself.

I felt my chest constrict, because this was my friend Zuko. This was not the scary, power hungry prince, but the nice and awkward boy, someone who talked to himself.

I didn't really choose to do anything, my body kind of moved without me thinking this through. I hadn't decided what would be the best way to proceed, or if I could trust Zuko, or if I should ask him what he was doing here. I just moved.

I crossed my arms and shifted my weight on my left leg. "What are you doing here?" I asked, sounding a bit hostile and wary.

Zuko whipped around, his eyes widened as he stared at me. He was wearing dark, almost black clothes which fit him tightly. A cloth covered his face except for his eyes and his hair almost covered his whole forehead. Dual dao swords hung on his back.

"Kilara!" He sounded surprised and… relieved? He took a few steps in my direction, but stopped at a distance of several metres. He pulled the cloth from his face and I was surprised to see real relief on his face. He was even almost smiling!

"Are you the green cloth spirit now?" I asked quietly, since I didn't want to alert anyone.

He blinked, looking down at the cloth. "Uh… no. No, I just didn't want anyone to recognise me. And I threw my mask in a lake, so… This was the only thing I had."

I looked him up and down and decided that it was okay to near him. After all, he knew that I could always stop him from any funny business.

"Why are you here?" I asked again.

Somehow he didn't seem clearer to me. The storm which had tormented him last time was still visible to me in the way he formed his hand to a fist, clenched his jaw, pressed his eyes shut, swallowed and looked away. "There were people who fought against the Fire Nation soldiers, and Azula throws them in prison. I just wanted to see if you were still here. And safe."

This took me completely by surprise. But I narrowed my eyes. "You shouldn't do that. I know how dangerous it can be to get into a fight with the soldiers, I'm not that dumb. I know how to act around them!" I hissed and saw him relaxing.

"Yeah, that's true. You are smart enough to stay safe, I was just…" He sighed. "I don't know, I just had the feeling I should look after you. There is always a possibility that you have been thrown into prison and I cannot just ask Azula, so I come here to see if you're alright," he explained quietly and softly.

I frowned and blinked. What the deep sea? I thought he was being serious and honest. He…

Sighing I relaxed my body a bit. Zuko was still no threat. "Thanks. But I won't let myself get imprisoned. You should stop coming here. I can barely sleep when you're here."

He opened his mouth, but closed it quickly again, raising an eyebrow. "How do you know when I'm here?"

I blinked and nearly face palmed. Oh no, I had actually hinted on the fact that I could feel the water in his body. It was my secret ace, dammit! I really needed some sleep!

Sighing I rubbed over my face. "I can feel the water in your body."

"Really?" He sounded excited and took a step closer to me.

I shot him a glare, wanting to keep him away.

He lifted his hands. "Hey, I already told you I'm only here to look out for you."

"And I told you that you shouldn't do this. But you're still here…"

He frowned, but I couldn't see a lot of his face, since it was too dark and all the lights were out. "Kilara… I know I behaved like an idiot the other day, but I wanted to apologise to you. I'm sorry for what I said and did. You only wanted to…"

"Don't!" I snarled. "Don't say another word! Just… go! Please, Zuko, go!" I was desperate and angry at him at the same time. His words hurt, because I didn't want to know of my friend Zuko. Despite talking to himself he was still the Crown Prince.

He shook his head. "No! I don't want you to stay mad at me. I know I said some horrible things, and I'm sorry. I was, and am, just so confused and nothing is easy. I just can't think like you, but I shouldn't have insulted you for the way you think. Please, I'm sorry."

I hadn't been able to interrupt him and now I wasn't able to look away. He looked so sincere, so honest and still so tormented.

But there was more to this situation than just the two of us. He couldn't be my friend anymore.

I nodded. "Okay. Thanks. For apologising. And for looking out for me."

A soft expression changed his face and I felt my cheeks heating up. He just looked so… happy. "Don't mention it. I promise I'll do nothing to hurt you, but I'll stay here until close to sunrise to make sure that you and your family are okay," he said in a firm tone.

I frowned at him again. "Well, thank you, but no, thank you! You cannot watch my house all night like some sort of creep!"

His face contorted in anger. "Not like a creep. More like a bodyguard."

I rolled my eyes. "I could always defend myself against soldiers. I could easily make twenty of them unconscious within a minute, Zuko. Go back to the upper ring."

"I figured you could do that. But I also know you're smart enough not to do this. If something was going to happen fighting won't help you out of it. But I might. I could help you, but only if I knew that something was happening. If I stay at the palace, how will I know that you're fine?"

"Wow, so you live at the palace now. What happened to the king? Thrown in his own dungeon?" I asked sarcastically.

"No. He escaped, together with the Avatar and his friends."

"I thought the Avatar was dead," I said, narrowing my eyes.

He nodded. "Yes, he is. They just… took his body." His voice became a bit hoarse, and I wondered what that meant.

I twisted my mouth, nodding slowly. "Okay. I've got school tomorrow, I have to sleep. I'd prefer it if you would leave, but if you want to play bodyguard, then please don't pace around like some caged animal. Stay in one spot and don't move too much. Moving water makes me feel awake." With that I turned around, heading for the living room.

"Good night!" he whispered and I flinched at the sadness in his voice. Was it possible that he still wanted to be my friend?

I opened my mouth to reply, but no words came out. And I kept walking.

_**Zuko**_

The next day had started like the other two at the palace, too. I practised firebending with Azula (or got beat up by her), had breakfast with her, her friends and her most trusted advisors. I noticed that Li and Lo must have arrived yesterday, since they were both sitting at the table with us now.

I had never really liked them. They had always been so creepy and their way of speaking, ending each other's sentences, had always freaked me out. Besides, old people in general freaked me out. They talked differently, their definition of important was different and they smelled so strange.

I excused myself quickly, after I had eaten, to avoid being caught up in Ty Lee's shopping plans for the day. She had already asked me yesterday if I wanted to come with her to the tailor, but uh no, thanks.

I still didn't know what to do, but when I was lying on my bed, my thoughts wandered off to Kilara. Was it possible to become her friend again? Maybe making sure she didn't get thrown into prison was a start.

But who was I kidding? She had been right, she was way too smart to do anything that would put her in danger. And with this crazy ability she had she was maybe the only one capable of protecting her family. And I knew she'd do everything to keep being able to do that.

I still didn't know what I would do here if I stayed. But I would definitely do everything it would take to be Kilara's friend again.

I wanted to talk to her about stupid banal things again, I wanted her to tease me and I wanted to listen to her talking about the theories of old philosophers.

Sighing I rolled on my side and looked at a bookshelf. It was scarcely filled and I got an idea for what to do with my free time.

I quickly left my room, locking it and walked down into the hallway for servants, a place where one could always find a servant to ask her or him to do something.

The hallway was empty.

Grumbling to myself I sat down on a bench and chose to wait, until one of the servants would return. They surely needed to do this, after their current task was over, didn't they?

After waiting for a few more minutes I was close to get up and start looking for the library myself, when I suddenly heard quiet footsteps approaching me.

I looked up to see Mai walking towards me. Her face was as impassive as ever when she stopped in front of me.

"Prince Zuko." She bowed a bit and my eyes widened.

Yeah, that was not something I would get used to.

"Uh, hi Mai," I said, cursing inwardly for answering a formal greeting so informally.

"May I ask what you're doing here? You know that only servants are sitting here, right?"

"I'm waiting for a servant. They're all gone," I explained.

Mai looked up and down the hallways. "Yes, it seems like it. I know Azula summoned a lot of them, though."

I scowled. "For what?"

"I didn't ask." She was quiet and sighed, glancing at me. Whenever she opened her mouth to speak it looked as if it took her a lot of effort to do so. "What do you want from the servants?"

I leaned back to lean against the wall. "I only need one of them," I explained. "I want to know how to get to the library."

Mai cocked her head to the side, which showed more emotions than she had the days before. "Which library?"

"The palace library?" I asked, as if it were obvious.

"Zuko, there is no library in here," she said.

I frowned, standing up and noticing that I stood a bit too close to her. I cleared my throat and took a step back. Wow, Mai was really tall for a girl her age. Was she fifteen like Kilara? Or was she already sixteen like me? I couldn't remember her birthday from our childhood.

"No library? Why? Every palace should have a library!"

Mai frowned a little bit, but her features smoothed a second later. "I don't know. I suppose it has to do with the fact that the Dai Li wanted to keep the king as dumb as they could. And reading educates people."

I nodded slowly. "Yes." Then I sighed. "I don't suppose we are allowed to go into the middle ring by ourselves?"

Mai raised an eyebrow. "Of course we are. Azula knows of our loyalty and if we're clad in Earth Kingdom robes no one would spare us a second glance."

I nodded frowning. "Thanks Mai. I'm glad you came this way, I didn't want to bother Azula too much, since she's so busy with all the meetings."

Mai nodded. "Of course, any time, Zuko."

I smiled at her and walked in the direction of the gates to get out of this stuffy place. Earth Kingdom people seemed to like to breathe tiny rocks in, but I hated dust.

Just like Mai had said it proved to be very easy to get out of the upper ring. I had the feeling that the Dai Li agents all recognised me, but they didn't do anything.

The other people who were outside moved cautiously and quietly around, all occupied with their own stuff.

The weather was nice and the sun was shining brightly, but the atmosphere reminded me of cloudy and sticky days. I tried not to think too much about how the Earth Kingdom people felt like. After all, there was nothing I could do about it.

When I mounted the train a tall girl clad in light green caught my eye. She entered through a different door, and I immediately narrowed my eyes and stalked over to her. She sat down and I stopped in front of her, glaring down at her.

She looked up at me, her face still showing no emotions. "Hi," she said, blinking slowly, as if she were tired.

I frowned. "What are you doing here? Did my sister send you? I don't need to be spied on!" I hissed, not wanting anyone to hear what we were saying or to figure out who we were. I couldn't just say Azula's name, and I was glad that Mai hadn't said mine earlier.

Mai rolled her eyes and leaned back, looking to the side. "Relax, I'm not here because of her."

"Why are you here then?" I wanted to know.

She quickly glanced at me. "I wanted to go to the library, too. It's not exactly exciting staying with your sister the whole time. A nice book could maybe do something against my boredom."

I raised my eyebrows, surprised by her answer. "Huh?" But she could also be lying. It didn't really matter, though, since I really only wanted to go to the library to read something on politics.

"Why do you want to go to the library? You never were the reading type," she commented, her face a little bit curious.

I blinked and frowned. "Well, yeah, that's true. But I noticed lately that reading can be very helpful and I… just want to know a few more things."

"What things?"

"Things about politics."

"Uh-huh." She looked away again and I frowned.

She barely ever looked me in the eye. It felt weird and I wondered if my face was maybe appalling to her.

The train jerkily left the station and since I hadn't grabbed anything to hold onto, I stumbled and fell forward, nearly on Mai's lap. I managed to put my hands on the seat next to her so that my face did not collide with her. Turning tomato red, I quickly stood again and decided to sit next to her.

"Sorry," I murmured, fighting the blush on my cheeks and looking in another direction.

"It's okay," she murmured back, and I thought I heard slight discomfort in her voice and I inwardly flinched.

Damn it!

At the palace Mai had always been the one I had found it easiest to like and to talk to. She didn't babble all the time like Ty Lee and she didn't try to humiliate me like Azula, so I naturally had turned towards her. We had been at the same level, both not talking much, but we had always had fun with our games. She hadn't been all that girly and sometimes we had wrestled on the ground in the garden, laughing the whole time. But after the fountain incident I had barely spoken to her. A few days later my mother had disappeared and I hadn't talked much to anyone after that, except for Azula, father, and Uncle of course, and a few servants.

But now it seemed like this ease and comfort I had felt around Mai was just gone. I felt antsy and self-conscious.

I didn't like it that her facial expression barely changed and that her voice always sounded so bored. She seemed so indifferent to everything, to Azula, to me, the war. Did nothing matter to her? Why had she changed so much?

The awkward silence between the two of us stretched, until the train finally stopped at the university in the middle ring.

I let Mai descend the train before me and we walked silently to the library together. It was a big help that the campus had signs everywhere which pointed in different directions. So finding the library was no problem.

"Have you been here before?" Mai asked all of a sudden.

I shook my head. "No, I… uh, I've only lived in the lower and upper ring."

Mai nodded slowly. "How is it in the lower ring? This city is so different from everything I've ever known," she said and I thought I could hear a little emotion in her voice, but I had no idea which emotion it would be.

"It sure is different from the capital, you're right," I said. "The people in the lower ring are all poor and it's filthy and the streets are narrow. I don't know any other place which is like that."

Mai frowned and nodded. "Me neither. I cannot even imagine a place like this."

"It is hard to imagine if one has only ever seen the capital and their wealth."

"I've also been to other places, you know," she said, a slight edge to her voice.

I looked at her, surprised. "Like when you helped Azula to hunt me down?"

She shook her head. "No. I've lived in Omashu, or New Ozai for a few months. Everything about this city was kind of like this middle ring. The palace was extravagant, but so ugly. The green colours actually hurt my eyes."

I grinned slightly, since there was no doubt she sounded disgusted. "Yeah, the colours of the other nations are something that one has to get used to. I always thought people exaggerated in their descriptions of the Water Tribes, but except for the food, the skin and hair of the people, everything there is blue and white."

Mai grimaced. "Wow, I couldn't stand living in such a place. Too much white hurts my eyes. But it's not much better here, either. It's so… brown and green. I always have to think about mud and grass. How can people live like that, constantly be reminded of peasants?"

I raised an eyebrow at her disgusted face and the hatred in her voice. "And a place which makes you feel like you are surrounded by blood and magma is comfortable?"

She shot me a glare. "Of course not. I never liked the inner sanctum of the Fire Nation palace. It made me feel like being in a womb."

The corners of my mouth twitched. _No, Zuko, you are not going to laugh at an insult to your home!_

"So, is there a place you do like?" I asked her curiously.

She furrowed her brows. "No, I don't think so. Or maybe… my childhood home. We had light coloured walls and a dark red roof. I think this place was nice."

"Oh, yes, I forgot you aren't from the capital," I said, nodding, and could relate to the feeling of missing home.

Very few students were actually walking around, but I thought they would all try to stay inside. Before Mai and I could enter the library the soldiers standing in front of the doors asked to see our student IDs.

I raised my head and glared at the one who had spoken, wanting him to recognise me without me having to say anything.

"Well?" he prompted and I almost started firebending at him.

His colleague pulled him away. "This is Prince Zuko, you idiot!" I heard him hiss, before he bowed deeply to me and apologised.

I looked at Mai who seemed to enjoy their attempts at leniency. She looked expectantly at me, but I didn't really like her expression then. I frowned at the guards and noticed that people began to stare at us.

"Get up!" I hissed. "Don't bow ever again in front of Earth Kingdom people! They are not to know who we are!"

They nodded and stepped back to let us pass.

Mai's eyes widened a bit at me and I raised an eyebrow, but she smoothed her features a second later.

We both needed to go to the second floor, although I still didn't know what she wanted to read. The hall we entered was incredibly large, the book shelfs so high they seemed not to have an end. The walls were painted green, but there were high windows letting the sun in which didn't make the place all too uncomfortable.

"Lee! Hey, look, it's Lee!" a voice shouted which sounded vaguely familiar to me.

But I didn't feel addressed, because there were probably hundreds of Lees studying here.

"No, you…" a girl said, and I recognised her voice immediately.

It was generally very quiet in the library, so I heard them talking even several metres away from me.

I slowly turned around and swallowed, seeing a grinning Denzai walking towards me, one hand around Kilara's arm. She reluctantly let him pull her towards me, but the look she gave me almost froze me to death.

I looked around for Mai, hoping she had gone on without me, but she stood behind me, her hands folded in her sleeves and her brows slightly furrowed.

Great. This was exactly what I had wanted to avoid happening at all costs.

There was a reason why I had only gone to Kilara's at night, after all!

If Mai came to know Kilara she would immediately tell Azula. And although there hadn't been anything serious between Kilara and me (only because of her) Azula would still get suspicious, and ask me about her. I would never tell her anything that would put Kilara in danger, but the problem was that also when I thought I hadn't told Azula anything, she somehow always knew what I had been hiding!

Denzai didn't seem to notice the grim atmosphere, since he kept smiling. When he and Kilara reached Mai and me, he bowed in greeting. Kilara bowed, too, and I quickly followed their example.

"What are you doing here, Lee? I didn't know you were a student, too," Denzai said. "Then again, Kilara never told me much about you."

I blinked and wished really hard to be in any other place right now. But wishing had never got me far.

"Uh, I… only wanted to read something, you know…"

Kilara's expression turned from grim to "What the magma?", as she stared at me as if I were an idiot.

Well, what? I had only told him the truth.

Denzai frowned. "So how did you get in here? Only students are allowed in here, after the Fire Nation took over."

I cringed and face palmed inwardly. Oh dragons! I never had good cover up stories.

Mai took a step forward and stood next to me. "He's with me. And people from the inner ring are still allowed to enter the library."

I blinked, since I didn't know if she was bluffing.

But Denzai's facial expression told me that Mai was right. "Oh yeah, I forgot about that. So you're from the inner ring? How did you two meet? Or am I not allowed to know that, too?" he asked grinning, glancing at Kilara who only gave him a dry look.

Dragons, she was such a good actress. I would have flinched and stammered, until there had been nothing left of me.

"Uh, no… I mean… sure. This is an old childhood friend of mine, Mmm-Ming…zhu."

Kilara gave me now a dry look, but Denzai didn't seem to notice my stuttering.

"It is nice to meet you, Mingzhu," he said, smiling at her, and bowed. He opened his mouth to continue speaking, but Kilara stepped in front of him. "Yes, I find it nice, too," she shot Denzai a glare, as if he had stolen that phrase from her. "This is Shoi-ming and my name is Liwei. It is really nice to meet you, Mingzhu, especially since I don't know a lot about Lee." She scowled at Denzai, "It's not that I don't want to tell you something about him, I simply don't know that much!"

Denzai pouted at her, but didn't look confused at all at the false names, as Mai bowed back to them. "It is a pleasure to meet you as well, Shoi-ming, Liwei. I am really curious about how you met Lee."

Kilara chuckled. "It's nothing special. We just drank some tea at his uncle's teashop." Her smile widened and she interlaced her fingers with Denzai's.

My eyes widened slightly. Were they…?

"Hopefully you'll find a good book. Shoi-ming and I have still homework to do." She groaned. "You'd think our professor would give us less work, after the conspiracy was uncovered and the Fire Nation took over, but no!" Sighing she rolled her eyes. "But we should totally meet at the tea shop next weekend. I'd love to get to know you better, Mingzhu!"

I just stared at how Kilara managed to take the danger that Mai had posed on this situation away. She acted so well that even I almost believed her.

Mai smiled a bit. "Yes, that sounds good. But we don't want to hinder you from studying."

"Right," I said. "We're going to look for books. And you, have a good time studying," I said, glaring shortly at their interlaced hands.

"Thanks!" Denzai exclaimed, and Kilara continued to smile broadly.

We all bowed to each other again, then Mai and I turned around to leave.

Holy dragons, hopefully she hadn't noticed anything strange and suspicious. She would totally report this to Azula, I just knew it. And asking her not to do so would probably only raise her suspicions.

So I chose to act neutrally, as if this had been totally normal.

"So you met them at your Uncle's tea shop?" she asked indifferently.

"Yes," I answered and fought against the urge to turn around and look at Kilara and Denzai again.

"They seemed nice."

"Yeah, they are."

Mai looked at me from the side. "Hopefully your bonding with Earth Kingdom people won't keep you from doing your duty."

I scowled at her, gritting my teeth. "What's that supposed to mean? I know my place perfectly well, Mai, and I am loyal to my country!"

She narrowed her eyes slightly. "Why did you befriend with them then?"

"I liked them. And I didn't think I would ever get the chance of returning home." I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. "I thought I should just start over and let the past stay in the past. But I never forgot who I am, and where my loyalty lies."

Her eyes widened again and she looked away. "I'm sorry, Zuko. I am only trying to be a good citizen. Don't judge me for being suspicious when you have Earth Kingdom friends."

I shook my head. "I don't judge you. I was only defending myself."

She sighed as if this conversation would bore her to death. "Alright. I'll go this way." She pointed to the left. "You'll have to walk back to find books about politics. We already walked past them."

I stopped, staring at her when she turned left, and sighed deeply.

I was glad that Kilara had handled the situation earlier so well, but I had a feeling that Mai wasn't so easily convinced by her lies. I would have to keep checking on Kilara and making it one hundred percent sure that she was safe. I wondered if she would come out to talk to me again when I'd be outside her house tonight. I wished she would.

* * *

_Soooo... about the fake names. It is clear that Zuko actually wanted to say Mai's name, but he noticed he should say a false name, so her fake name had to begin with an M, too. It should be an Earth Kingdom name, that's why I chose a Chinese name. But Chinese femal names starting with M all sound so pretty and all mean something with beauty, and I was like 'Oh yeah, I like this name, but no, it's too pretty for a fake name. I'll name a future OC like this.' And I thought a name which started with 'Mei" would be too similar. So Mingzhu means 'bright pearl' according to that website. __For Kira I wanted a name which didn't start with K or was obviously fake, like Zuko's 'Lee'. I really liked Li wei, since it's a bit like Longwei, which is her father's name. Li wei means 'beautiful rose', according to that website, but 'wei' also means 'greatness', since Longwei means 'dragon greatness' and Long means 'dragon'. When I found out about that I finally understood why the family name of Jake from American Dragon is Long ;D. __For Denzai I looked for a name which would mean something nice, and bright, like sunshine, because Denzai is a smiling happy kid, and that's what Kira would think about while searching for a fake name for her friend. And Shoi-ming means 'life of sunshine'. I thought that fitted Denzai pretty well. _

_I also chose to write something Maiko-ish, although it might take some time, until Mai gets more comfortable around Zuko, and Zuko starts thinking about her in a different way. Mai was nice to Kira and Denzai, because she's a pretty good actress. I was thinking about her fake relationship with Kei Lo from Shadow and Smoke, when she called him 'baby' and made him compliments on his braveness all the time. I hope I didn't write Mai too mean, it's just that she really doesn't like most things. _

_Another thing is that I experimented with different ways to say 'What the hell?' for the people of the Fire Nation and Water Tribes. I don't want to use that phrase anymore, since I don't think that the people from that world believe in a hell. I first thought of a place very deep somewhere in their element, like trench or deep sea for water, but I thought that trench might also work for earth. And I know that magma, which I chose for fire, isn't exactly fire at all, but earth, but it's the Fire Nation which is built on volcanic islands, so I thought it could have historical reasons. I think I'm going to stick with magma for the Fire Nation, but will choose natural catastrophes for the other elements, e.g. tsunami, earthquake, and tornado or hurricane. But I kind of like 'What the deep sea?', so I'll probably keep using that, too. _

**_Answers to reviews:_**

_To _Sam. HoranTurtleduck_: __Thanks, I'm glad you liked the last chapter, and that I still manage to write Nanuk funny enough for you. Yeah, I tried to write this whole occupation situation as realistic as possible, although I added some Azula malice to it. :) And I'm sorry for almost no Nanuk in this chapter.  
_

_To _uchihaNaruto247: _I guess that means you liked the story:) I'm glad you did, and I know perfectly well what you mean, I know this situation. And I also know that my summary isn't the best... But I hope you'll keep reading this fic!:)_

_I promise the next chapter will be updated sooner. I'll start writing it tomorrow, I promise!_

_If you liked this chapter, or not, please let me know by reviewing!_


	13. Chapter 13

_Hi everyone!_

_This chapter also took me a bit and I'm very sorry that I'm updating so late. I had a cold last weekend and couldn't finish the chapter. I really hate it to have colds in summer, that's so eww. _

__ Sam. HoranTurtleDuck: My answer to your review is at the end of the chapter:)__

_Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading! If you do, then please review!_

_I do not own Avatar The Last Airbender, nor its characters. I only own my OCs. _

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen**

**Irresponsible and Arrogant?**

_**Zuko**_

Somehow I had ended up reading biographies of famous Earth Kingdom politicians or kings instead of theories, theses or know-how on politics. Their life was just way more interesting than those theories. Why did Kilara find these so gripping?

First, it had been difficult for me to even concentrate on choosing a book or scroll, since I hadn't been able to get it out of my head that Mai saw Kilara. It was that simple to me: Mai + Kilara = disaster. Ty Lee + Kilara = disaster. Azula + Kilara = disaster. Anyone from the Fire Nation – me/Uncle + Kilara = disaster.

I had only wanted to keep these two things in my life separated from each other, but of course it hadn't gone the way I'd wanted. It was my own fault, though. I could have thought about the possibility that Kilara would be in the library. It was just too obvious! Where else would she be?

But I managed to calm myself later, since there was nothing I could do about it now. And that's when I started reading.

I had no idea how much time passed, but despite the fact that my stomach was growling angrily, I kept stubbornly reading. I was almost finished with the life of mayor Shun of the Tingfeng province in the northern Earth Kingdom, when a shadow fell over me. At first I didn't acknowledge the shadow at all, but then a foot slowly wanted to make contact with my bent legs.

My hand darted forward, grabbing the person's ankle. I put on a scowl and looked up.

"I thought I'd never get your attention. And there you said reading is boring," Kilara said, her arms crossed and her eyebrows raised.

I couldn't help but smile at her, as I let her foot go. My smile almost vanished immediately and was replaced by utter confusion.

She was wearing a wig. A black wig with incredibly long hair and flowers braided in. She wore a more extravagant robe than normal, and make-up made her face paler.

"What the magma did you do? Are you going to some fancy ball later?" I asked and hoped she would blush, because she looked kind of ridiculous.

But Kilara only shot me a dry glance and sat down next to me. "I only don't want Zhuming to find out that I am talking to you," she said in a low tone.

I was pretty sure I had said Mingzhu, and wondered how Kilara could forget a name, when there were tons of other things engraved in her memory.

But I concentrated on something else. "So you went home and disguised yourself?" I asked and was slightly impressed.

She nodded. "That girl was from your home, right?" she asked, keeping her voice low.

I nodded. "Yes, she's a friend of my sister."

Kilara narrowed her eyes at me. "Seriously? Why did you bring her here?"

"I didn't," I defended myself. "She wanted something to read, and I wanted something to read. I didn't think I'd see you here." It wasn't anything new for me trying to keep my voice as low as possible.

"Wow. Seriously? I am a student, dammit! Where do you think I get all the books and scrolls I have to read?" she hissed, keeping her sharp glance and adjusting her face, so that she was scowling.

I blinked. "Uhm… I actually never really thought about it. By the way, you were great earlier. I didn't know you could act that well."  
Her scowl vanished and her eyes widened, as she looked up at me. "I'm not in the drama club for nothing."

The thought that Mai could appear any moment crossed my mind, but I didn't want Kilara to leave.

"It was good what you did. And really smart. I wouldn't want my sister to know that I have had Earth Kingdom friends. The damage is done, but if you'll see me again, even if I'm alone – because I'm pretty sure Azula has someone spying on me – you shouldn't be too friendly. Maybe pretend you didn't see me."

Her eyebrows rose higher and her eyes widened. "Why? I mean, you were a refugee. Your sister hunted you; wouldn't it be normal for you to make friends here?"

My breath faltered, because she had said we were friends. How was that even possible? I had thought she hated me, and after last night I had known it would be very difficult to become her friend again, but…

Well, technically, she hadn't said we were friends. Only that I had made friends. Which didn't mean that we were friends now. I frowned, not liking this analysing said things stuff.

"Yes, probably. But my sister always eliminates threats to the loyalty of her closest people. She tried to kill Uncle, because she feared he could turn me against the Fire Nation. If she would ever take notice of you, I don't know what she would do," I explained, feeling a lump in my throat, because I didn't even want to think about what Azula could do to Kilara.

Kilara raised one eyebrow at me, as if she wanted to ask me why the magma I had sided with such a person.

I asked that myself in that moment. But only for a second.

I knew Azula wasn't empathetic, but she was my sister, and she was loyal to our nation.

"Anyway, I just wanted to know who Zhuming is and if I have something to fear from her," she explained. "And now I know I have."  
I flinched and shook my head. "I'm pretty sure she believed you. Besides, she doesn't know anything about you and I'm never going to tell anyone about you. I promised that I'll make sure you stay safe."

The corners of her mouth twitched and my heart skipped a beat. She had nearly smiled!

"Does that mean you're going to visit me again tonight?" she asked, sounding annoyed.

I frowned. "It is for your safety!"

"Hmpf!" she said and turned to stare ahead.

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. Why couldn't she see that it was a good thing I was doing?

"Are you going to tell me who that girl was?" she wanted to know, still sounding annoyed.

"Her name is Mai. Like I said, she's a friend of my sister's, and she helped her track Un… me down. She always seems uninterested and bored by everything, but I know she's very loyal to my sister. And she's a good actress as well. When she talked to you she seemed like a totally different person. Oh, and she's a very dangerous knife thrower."

Kilara's brows furrowed more the more I told her about Mai. She was silent for a few seconds and nodded. "Okay, thanks, Lee." She got up, brushing dust off her robes and ran her fingers through her wig.

I stared at her, not considering her outfit ridiculous now.

"I'll see you around," she said, bowing with her hand flat over her fist.

I stood up and bowed back. "You will. Have a nice day, La."

Her lips parted and she blinked, apparently feeling surprised, before a smile entered her eyes. I saw her lips twitch again and knew that I did have a chance to become her friend again. If she had to smile, it meant that she couldn't really be mad at me. Or was that just my wishful thinking?

_**Kilara**_

When I arrived at home, no one besides San was there, and I quickly darted to my room, so that she wouldn't see me. After I looked like myself again, I looked for San in the kitchen, but I couldn't find her.

"San!" I shouted.

No one answered me, and I shrugged, thinking that San was probably out doing some shopping.

I left the house and went straight to Denzai's. I hadn't told him anything about Zuko, and had earlier just pretended that everything was fine.

Of course he had wanted to know why I had told them fake names, but I had said that we didn't know Mingzhu and should be careful. We were at war after all.

Denzai had pointed out that it was hardly a war, if we were only occupied by another nation. He also told me that he thought I was being paranoid.

But Denzai didn't know the truth. He did not know that this girl had personal ties to the Fire Nation royal family. Especially the evil part of this family.

I couldn't risk Denzai being all nice to people like Mai ever again. What if he would see Zuko again and still be friendly? What if Zuko would this time be accompanied by his sister? Denzai couldn't expose himself as an acquaintance of Zuko. Who knew what his sister would do? He had lied to Mai about Denzai and me, so he probably didn't want Princess Azula to know anything about us.

Denzai had to know the truth, he had to be cautious, and he had to be paranoid. Only by being paranoid and suspecting enemies behind every door could one succeed against an almighty enemy like the Fire Nation. It was not about this kind of paranoia which drifted into madness, but a healthy amount of paranoia.

Denzai's home seemed a bit livelier today. There was more noise and although the weather hadn't changed in the last days, it seemed lighter to me, too.

Denzai was sitting at his desk, going over the scrolls we had found in the library for the reign of Earth King Jingguo. His hair was a bit more ruffled than before and I suspected his sister to be the reason for that. She liked to ruffle his hair only to annoy him. I liked it that Denzai's hair was shorter than the hair of anyone else in Ba Sing Se. It was always spiky and his head reminded me of a porcupine with short quills. He had once told me that his hair was so short, because he had had lice and that he'd had to cut all his hair off.

"I was wondering if I'd see you again today," he said smiling, when I closed the door.

"Hm, yeah…" I walked over to his bed and sat down, not really knowing how to proceed. I didn't want to make Denzai feel less safe or as if he couldn't trust me anymore, because I had befriended the Fire Nation prince. Even if he had been banished, one must be as evil or as insane as the Fire Nation itself to do something like this, right?

Sighing I bent my legs and hugged my knees close to my chest.

"What is it, Kira?" Denzai asked and turned around on his chair. "Are you going to tell me why you really lied to Mingzhu?"

I raised my eyebrows. "You didn't believe me earlier?"

He shook his head. "Nope." Then he frowned. "But I trust you, and if you think it's necessary, then I won't object. You're one of the smartest people I know, and that's why I think it was necessary to keep the truth from Mingzhu. But I still think you should tell me the truth. But if I'm right with my previous assumption, and you're just jealous, then I'll be disappointed."

"I'm not jealous!" I snapped at him. "I don't even know Mingzhu! Why should I be jealous?"

Denzai twisted his mouth and narrowed his eyes slightly. "Weeeell… Because it was her who was with Lee, and you told me you haven't seen him since the day we went to the tea shop."

"I am not jealous, and I don't care that it was her who was with Lee," I growled. "Besides, I lied to you. I have seen Lee on Saturday, too. And on Monday."

Denzai frowned. "Why did you lie?"

"Because…" I sighed. "I'm going to tell you something and this will probably shock and scare you, but you need to know. You cannot tell anyone! Okay?"

He nodded, his face stern.

"If you'll ever see Lee again, do not approach him. Don't wave, don't smile, and don't nod."

"But…"

"Sh! I am talking! Especially if Lee is accompanied by someone, no matter who it is, and even if he's alone, you have to act as if you don't know him. Alright?" I asked, feeling a bit afraid.

"I… I don't understand…"

"Of course you do. I'm speaking in full sentences after all!" I snapped, and immediately felt guilty.

"But I don't understand why I should do this."

"Because Lee knows people who are…" I licked my lips, my fear and nervousness only increasing. Shoot, it didn't work like this. "Because Lee is not who you think he is. Lee's not even his real name." I bit on the inside of my lower lip, trying to fight against my sadness, since everything would be so much easier if Zuko was only Lee.

Denzai leaned towards me, although I saw a glint of fear on his face now, too. "Kira… don't scare me like this. Just tell me the truth."

"His name is Zuko," I said, glancing at Denzai and fearing his reaction.

He blinked at me. "So?"

"So? _Soooo? _What do you mean, sooo?!"

"His name is Zuko. Why did you say it was Lee?" he asked and my jaw nearly hit the floor.

"Oh. I totally forgot how little Ba Sing Seans know about other nation's politics," I murmured.

Denzai frowned. "Does that mean Lee, I mean Zuko, is not from the Earth Kingdom?" He took in a sharp breath. "He… he's from the Fire Nation?"

I swallowed and looked at my feet. "Not only that. He also is a prince. He's Fire Lord Ozai's son."

My friend's face froze, and I pressed my lips together, feeling my fear clasp my heart.

"Look, I didn't know this when I first met him!" I immediately tried to defend myself. "It's not like I wanted to befriend the Fire Lord's son! And when I found out, I was already… well, I had come to know him a little bit, and I just couldn't hate him. He…" I swallowed against the lump in my throat again. Zuko had suffered so much. Why couldn't it have stayed like before? Why couldn't he keep his life as a waiter in a tea shop? There he had been safe from his family's cruelty, but now… He would go back, and who knew what his father would do to him, if he ever made a mistake again? Zuko had disappointed me, because he had chosen to try begging for his father's acceptance again, instead of choosing his own life, choosing the person he really was. Becoming the Fire Lord's servant again was probably easier, but inside he was still the same person, wasn't he? He had said he wanted to protect me. He was still a bad liar and so incredibly awkward. Maybe if he stayed here, then… No. No! With his awkwardness and shyness he had made me believe he was just a normal boy who searched for his place in this world, but what if this all had been a lie? I tried to clear my head, because somehow I had to tell Denzai that Zuko wasn't that bad, but that he could never trust him. "…has gone through a lot. Maybe he's just a victim, or he let me believe this, I don't know. But until I don't know more for sure, you have to keep your distance. It's not only Zuko. I believe that his sister Princess Azula is way worse. If her spies tell her you somehow showed that you know him, she could and probably would hurt you. We are Earth Kingdom people. She will not tolerate us to be her brother's acquaintances."

Denzai stayed silent and still for a few more seconds, and I really had no idea how he was going to react. He opened his mouth and closed it again. Then he suddenly frowned. "Wait. You found out he was the fire prince, and you said you couldn't hate him. Why should you hate him? Or…" He suddenly gasped. "You knew of this war all along!"

Oh. I kind of thought he already knew that. "Yes, of course. I didn't live in Ba Sing Se. Out there everyone knows about the war."

Denzai's face contorted even more and his body seemed to tense up. "What? Why did you never tell me?"

"I… No one was allowed to talk about the war in here. The Dai Li locked everyone up who even mentioned a war," I explained.

"So? You just kept silent, because you were afraid? If we had known, then maybe we wouldn't have been occupied!" he snarled, throwing his hands up.

"I know!" I shouted. "Believe me, I know! And I wanted to do something! But we're only kids! I thought I needed to wait, until I was adult, so that people would listen. And I…" I sighed and I looked down. "Somehow it felt good to be at a place, where not everyone was talking about the war. It felt as if the war had never happened. The people here still believe so many things, things which are over a hundred years old. It was kind of beautiful, like time travelling."

Denzai shut his eyes down. "Okay. But… why did you think I was going to be scared, because you befriended the Fire Nation prince?"

"Well, because the Fire Lord is the worst and most evil person in this world. Oh moon. There are still so many things you don't know," I finally realised. Everything he knew was that he had been lied to, and that the Fire Nation occupied Ba Sing Se. He didn't even know that this meant the Fire Nation had won the war. He didn't know what had happened to Omashu, or what had happened at the North Pole, or what the Avatar had did. Denzai didn't know that a whole culture, a whole people had been wiped out. He didn't know the Fire Nation were the bad guys in this. And his family probably didn't know either.

Should I be the one to tell him? How could I do this? How could I take hope away from him?

The Fire Nation didn't seem evil to Denzai, I noticed.

Should I really make him see that?

"What? What is it I don't know? What else? Tell me!" he begged, and I felt shocked, when I noticed there were tears in his eyes.

"Denzai…"  
"You don't have any idea how that feels like! You haven't been lied to your whole life!"

I frowned in compassion, and imagined the pain he must feel.

It was written all over his contorted face, and the clenched hands, and I thought that I was sick of seeing my friends looking at me like this.

"You're right. But why don't you tell me? I want to know what you feel," I said softly.

Denzai furrowed his brows more and bit down on his lip. "I… I just feel so sick of this! It feels so oppressing not to know what is real and true or who to trust. I… I feel so desperate and helpless. If there's anything else, I want to know! I need to know the truth, to know everything!" His tears started to fall down his cheeks, and it felt like my heart clenched.

I wanted to make him feel better, to give him what he asked, but what if I only made it worse? What if this would be the wrong thing to do right now?

"How can I be my own person if I do not know what is going on? Every step we take feels observed and planned by others. It's just sickening!"

"I… I want to… Denzai, I don't know if I should… It's a lot. And it's probably worse than anything you could imagine. And hearing about it all at once?"  
"How else am I going to hear about it?" His voice cracked and his brows furrowed more. "If you tell me everything now, or every day just a bit, in the end it will be the same, and it won't change what happened!" He became louder, until he almost screamed.

"Okay," I breathed. "Alright. But I warned you. And you're right. I have no idea how you feel, but know that I'm your friend. I'm here for you, and you can always trust me."

His face lightened a bit up, and I felt slightly relieved.

"You know the war started a hundred years ago?" I asked.

He nodded.

"There was a comet. A hundred years ago it passed through our solar system and when it reached its closest point to Earth, it strengthened the bending of all firebenders. They were ten times stronger than normal. That's what made them unstoppable, when they first lashed out at the world. All the Air Temples had to suffer from this. No one survived."

Denzai's lips trembled and he clenched his fists, pressing his lips together. "No one?"

"Yes," I whispered. "The last one died three days ago."

"W-why did they do this?"

"I don't know. I think no one knows. Most people just think that the comet's power made them evil and bad. They considered themselves superior, because they could use powers no other bender can dream of." I looked away, because I couldn't stand the look on Denzai's face anymore. He looked so crestfallen.

I stared at his curtains, which were moved by a slight breeze. The smell of freshly cut grass came in.

"Then they started to kidnap every waterbender from the Southern Water Tribe. This tribe had lost its last waterbender almost sixty years ago. Around this time the assaults on the Earth Kingdom became stronger and more frequent. First, they had only built colonies and claimed to bring civilisation, but the next provinces which were occupied were treated with much more cruelty. And now with the conquest of Ba Sing Se the Earth Kingdom has fallen. Only the Northern Water Tribe is left."

Denzai shook his head, as if he didn't want to believe what I had just told him. I couldn't hold it against him. This world would belong to fire and only to fire. This was not how it was supposed to be. Humans, as well as animals, needed all four elements to exist and to be able to live. Without water, air, or earth we wouldn't be able to live. What would happen if water and earth would cease to exist as a bending art, too?

"This is… this is bad. I cannot… This is… totally…"

I couldn't stand seeing Denzai like this. He looked so alone and afraid, so crushed. I immediately felt the urge to cheer him up, but what could I do?

"This means…" Denzai finally looked up. "… there is no hope? No hope at all? The Fire Nation will just kill any other benders?"

I shook my head. "No, I don't think so. Most earthbenders were only imprisoned, not killed. The Fire Nation seems to enjoy making people suffer more than to kill them," I said darkly and clenched my hands to fists. "I don't know if there's no hope. The Avatar should be reborn into the Water Tribes. In two decades he or she should definitely be able to fight against the Fire Lord. But in my opinion the world had depended on the Avatar way too much. We cannot wait, until someone else shows up to defend us and to protect us. We have to do something ourselves," I explained, feeling confidence rise inside of me. "We could plan a rebellion," I whispered, getting up and sitting down in front of his chair. I didn't want to talk too loud. "If we're clever and patient enough, if we gather the right people, it will be possible to fight back. Do you know what jing is?" I asked, suddenly feeling plans stream into my mind.

Denzai nodded. "Yeah, the most common jings are positive, negative, and neutral jing. But there are, in fact, eighty-five different jings."

"Yeah, yeah, but let's only concentrate on the neutral jing. We'll do it like this. We will pretend to obey, but we will only gather all our forces and wait for the right moment to fight back."

Denzai lifted one eyebrow. "Right. Because two fifteen year olds are going to beat the Fire Nation."

I grinned. "We will be three. There's no way Nanuk will let me do this alone. Besides, maybe my dad knows some other people, influential people. And you should tell your family, too. Of course nothing involving my name. Only if they are interested in fighting."  
"Kilara, my family are no fighters."

"They don't have to. We'll also need people who know other people. People with influence and a good reputation, people who can maybe get some information on the Fire Nation."

O moon. Maybe this could really work. Maybe not everything was lost.

Zuko immediately came to my mind. It would be so helping, if he would be on our side, but… he'd never do that. He hadn't even betrayed his nation for his uncle, then he wouldn't do it for anyone else, either.

"Well, I'd suggest you. After all, you're a good friend of the Fire Nation prince," Denzai said, as if reading my mind.

"No. This would be too dangerous. He could find out about what we're doing." I didn't really think he would, but I knew that I wouldn't want to use him like this. "No. First of all we need earthbenders. The best earthbenders there are. We'll need a hideout. Some place where we would never be seen, some place not even the Dai Li could find. Where the earthbenders couldn't feel us. Water! Of course, a lake or something like that. We'll need waterbenders! Earthbenders can't feel on ice!"

"Uh… What?"

"Do you know any other waterbenders?" I asked excitedly.

"No, I'm sorry. I also think that there aren't any other waterbenders here. "

I sighed, but nodded. "Alright. I'll figure something out. Maybe there also is already a rebellion, and we'll find it and join it, and…"

"Kira! I don't know if I want to become part of a rebellion," Denzai whispered.

"What?" I asked.

"I mean, I'm glad you think there is still something to do, but I'm not a fighter. I wouldn't even want to fight, and I…"

"But you're smart!" I objected. "You're so intelligent, you could be a huge help, Denzai!"

"I don't know," he whispered, and I frowned.

Was he just afraid of doing something which was forbidden? Was he afraid of the Fire Nation? Or did he fear for his family's safety?

"Denzai…"

Loud footsteps approached the door, until it burst open.

My brother stood in Denzai's door, his hair ruffled, and his face contorted in a scowl. "Kira! We're going home! Now!"

"Uh, hi, Nanuk," I greeted him, narrowing my eyebrows and standing up.

My brother looked a bit heated, his cheeks flushed and his hair was loose, although normally he put the upper part of his shoulder long hair into a ring, so that it looked like a bun. Nanuk's face was a bit contorted, and his nostrils flared, while he gritted his teeth.

"What happened?" I asked, fearing that the soldiers had done something to dad, San, or maybe one of Nanuk's friends.

Nanuk shot Denzai a glare. "Not here," he growled.

My eyes widened. "What? You can say everything in front of Denzai! He knows now."

My brother looked at me in an incredible way. He knew immediately what I had been referring to. "What? Are you crazy? You can't just tell someone you barely know something like this!"

"He needed to know! He met him!" I objected, not wanting Denzai to feel insulted by Nanuk's behaviour.

He shook his head. "You… No, that's not important right now! Come on, now. We need to go home."

"Just tell me what happened!" I demanded to know.

"NO! For once, Kira, just do for once what I ask of you!" Nanuk shouted, which took me completely aback.

My eyes widened, I blinked and took a step back.

Nanuk's nostrils flared more, and he looked to the side, as if he regretted having become so loud.

I took a deep breath, looking at Denzai who stared at Nanuk wide eyed. "Okay, Nanuk, I'm coming." I turned to my young friend. "Bye, Denzai. See you tomorrow?"

He nodded, and gave me a weak and encouraging smile.

I smiled back, trying to reassure him, but I hated that I had to leave him alone right after everything I told him.

I followed Nanuk outside, and observed his tensed back and his stiff steps. What the deep sea did happen? I couldn't wait, until we would arrive at our house, so that he would tell me. I would never try to get him to talk to me here on the streets, where Dai Li agents were probably spying on everyone.

When I kept a little distance to my brother to be able to watch him from behind, he suddenly stopped, grabbed my arm and yanked me forward, so that I was walking next to him.

"Don't you leave my sight!" he growled lowly.

I felt the urge to start an argument, but knew better than to do so.

Biting down on my lip I wondered what it was he was so angry about. It radiated from him, and I could feel the intensity of his emotions. It cost me much effort not to fidget nervously, and showing to all the other people walking around that something was wrong. That was nothing of their business. But Nanuk's anger was so obvious, I couldn't just ignore it. Was he actually angry at me?

I really hoped he wasn't, since it always ended in a huge fight, whenever Nanuk was actually angry at me. He managed to keep his emotions under control for some time, but then something happened, be it something small, and then he just sapped, lashing out at everything in his environment. We were pretty similar in that regard.

My nervousness only grew when he opened the door to our house and motioned for me to follow him. I suspected dad to be in his office and San to be in the kitchen, since it had been enough time for her to do the shopping. My brother and I went into his room, and after I shut the door, Nanuk slammed a hole through his wall, shouting incoherently.

I flinched and blinked a few times. "What… what happened?"

He lifted his head, narrowing his eyes at me. "Let me tell you what happened. You see, I came home, knowing you should be home by then, knowing dad was probably still at the university, and that San could be out doing the shopping. But you were nowhere to be found."

My eyes widened and I finally understood what got him so worked up. "Nanuk…"  
"No! You let me finish! I waited, until San came home, and asked her if you told her anything, since last time, you did tell her you went out. But not today. So I waited a bit more. Then I walked to your school, and then I went to Denzai's, hoping he would know where you were, and fearing he didn't, as well as the fact that you could be there."

I frowned, not understanding, why he had feared that I could be at Denzai's. I knew he didn't think Denzai was cool or anything, but I hadn't thought that he disliked him so much.

Nanuk raised his arms, only to let them fall down again. He didn't bend doing that. "Because I hate this! I really hate it not to know where you are, to worry, only to find out that you have been safe this whole time! Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you're okay, and that I found you, but you never care about let us know where you go! Dammit, Kira, we're at war! This city is occupied, don't you have a spark of reason in your head?!"

I understood where he was coming from, since I really had developed a habit of just leaving without telling anyone where I went. But since Ba Sing Se was occupied, I had tried to let my family always know where I went. Only today I had forgotten it.

"No one was there, when I came home, and speaking to Denzai was urgent, so…"  
"So you couldn't even leave a note?" Nanuk snarled.

"I… I didn't think about it," I admitted, slapping myself mentally. He was right, dammit, he was so right. I had probably caused him the same feeling he'd had, when I had left uncle Aiguo's manor.

"You didn't think about it," Nanuk repeated with a whisper, the look in his eyes unbelievable. "Well, yeah, why do I have to wonder at all?" He chuckled a bit hysterically, and ran a hand through his hair. "Of course you didn't think about it, because you never think about your family! I should have really gotten used to it by now."

I frowned deeper and felt anger beginning to rise in me. "What? No, of course not! Of course I think about you!"

"Really? 'Cause to me it seems like you're always thinking about yourself first! You want to do something, so you always just do it! But you never stop thinking about what this does to us!" He crossed his arms, and contorted his face even more in anger.

"That's not true, but sometimes I…"

"Yeah, what is it, Kilara?" he scoffed, and I finally snapped.

"Stop acting so adult, Nanuk! Yeah, I made a mistake, and it's good you told me so, but you don't have the right to scold me like a child!" Gritting my teeth I tried to concentrate on my anger and not the hurt I had felt at being accused of selfishness by the person I loved more than anything else in the entire world.

"What else should I do, if you're behaving as irresponsible as a child? No one else is here to scold you, after all!" he shouted, louder than anything else he'd said before.

"But you're not dad, so stop acting like a father!" I couldn't believe how unfair this was. Couldn't Nanuk just be a bit angry, and then I could have apologised, and we could have put this behind us, instead of him exploding like a volcano? It filled me with rage, and I was so pissed at Nanuk for what he'd said, and for how he pushed the argument more and more.

"I do behave like a father, because dad is not behaving like a father!"

"But it is his duty, not yours! You're making it even easier for him not to be responsible!"

"Do you think I want to?" Nanuk sounded a bit desperate at that.

"You're giving him an excuse!" I told him, instead of answering.

Nanuk and I knew both well that dad was not like most fathers. Uncle had behaved more fatherly than dad ever had. We both knew he loved us, and that he also liked spending time with us, but long forgotten cultures, or old ruins, dead kings and queens seemed to be more interesting to him than his own children sometimes. That his thoughts usually were never in the same room as us was quite usual, but it was so frustrating sometimes to know that one of us had done something another child would get scolded for, but dad hadn't even noticed it.

"If you'd just stop fathering me, then maybe he would notice that this was his responsibility all along!" I went on.

Nanuk's bluish green eyes narrowed. "Is that why you're behaving so irresponsible all the time?"  
"Irresponsible? Come on, San wasn't there, it's not like I sneaked out!"

"It's not like you haven't already sneaked out without anyone knowing where you went!"

I shook my head, since I couldn't believe he brought this up again. "I apologised over and over for that. And it's not like I've done anything else like it afterwards!"

"Maybe not. But you also haven't changed much! You still get yourself in possibly dangerous situations without telling anyone! What if something would happen to you, and we didn't know where you were or what you were doing?!"

"You are totally overreacting! This is not about today! You are still mad at me for what happened at uncle's!"

"Of course I am! I get you thought you were doing the right thing, and that he didn't seem so dangerous, but Kira, dammit! He is the fucking prince of the Fire Nation! How could you have been so stupid? You are usually so smart, and I trust that you got situations under control, but this was incredibly dangerous and crazy! And now see where you helping him got us!"

"What? I saved General Iroh's life! And he was the only one who could have stopped Zuko from helping his sister conquering Ba Sing Se! So…"

"But he didn't, did he?"

I flinched, feeling as if my brother had slapped me. Maybe I felt so shocked, because being accused by the own brother to be at fault for the Fire Nation's victory in the war, or because I had wondered that, too. And now Nanuk confirmed my own fears to me. I had been so trusting towards Zuko, I had only wanted to help him, but had my kindness be wasted? Was this all I got from it? A conquered city and the Fire Nation as ruler of the Earth?

"No," Nanuk went on. "Ba Sing Se is occupied by the Fire Nation, and you told us that the prince only got into the city, because of the general!"

"You're seriously blaming me?" I asked, feeling my voice crack and a lump form in my throat. But I wouldn't allow myself to show my hurt in front of him. I contorted my face, the force of my emotions making it hard to suppress them. "How dare you?" I growled. "I only did what was right! How in the three nations should I have known what would happen? Are you seriously saying that I shouldn't have helped them, only because they are from the Fire Nation?!"

Nanuk groaned. "Ugh, Kilara! It's not like they are normal Fire Nation citizens! They are royalty! Damn royalty! The general lead the siege of Ba Sing Se!"

I bit on my lower lip, looking at my feet. " I… I know, okay? But they are also just people…"

"Yeah, people whose safety you put over your family!"

My head jerked up, and shock rushed through me. "That's not true!"

"How often do I have to tell you that what you're doing is reckless and idiotic?! You could get yourself killed all so easily! How could you trust them?"

"Moon, Nanuk! I was fine all the time! Nothing happened to me, and I can always defend myself!" I snapped.

Nanuk took a deep breath to calm himself. "Well, I know you're a good fighter and bender, but you cannot be that arrogant to think that you could beat Fire Nation royals!"

"I'm not!" I objected, feeling deeply insulted. I was not arrogant. I only knew my strengths, but I would never underestimate an opponent. "It's just…"

"What? Kira, what? Why is it that you always do so dangerous things without thinking?!" he screamed, and I thought that maybe this was his main problem. That he didn't understand me, although we were twins, and although we should understand each other without opening our mouths.

I shook my head. "I always think about what I'm doing! I think about every possible outcome and prepare for everything!"

"If you're so smart and sure that nothing could go wrong, why did you never tell me about your stupid plans?"

I opened my mouth, not knowing how to respond. "It's… It's too dangerous for you. I know that I can protect myself, but don't know if I can protect you, too!"

"You think I cannot protect myself?!" Nanuk's voice sounded a bit hurt.

"We just have different abilities! I can adapt to different situations way better than you! You're always running through walls!"

"Ha, that's funny. Cause I was the one who actually adapted to our life at uncle's, but you couldn't!"

"That's totally different!"

"Mole, you're so… I never got how arrogant and self-righteous you are!"

"I'm not! I just…" I couldn't find any words, since I couldn't tell Nanuk why it was that I was always so confident in dangerous situations. That's why I was glad that he interrupted me.

"Urgh, I can't talk to you like that!"

"Nanuk!"

"No, get out!"

I felt tears prickle in my eyes and turned around.

"And don't you leave this house today once more!" Nanuk shouted behind me.

I snarled and the slammed the door shut behind me.

I marched to my room, slammed this door, too, and started pacing.

I thought I knew why Nanuk reacted like this. He was worried, and he was afraid that I didn't care much about my family. It had to seem to him as if I didn't consider the possibility of getting hurt or dying, and what that would do to him and dad. I know that Nanuk would never get himself in dangerous situations, if not necessary, because he didn't want us to go through losing a family member again.

Remembering how hard mum's death had affected him I felt a little less angry and sighed.

But the things he had said to me and knowing the way I made him feel… it was just too much to bear.

My tears started running down my cheeks and I couldn't stop them, no matter how hard I pressed my eyes shut or bit on my lower lip. Hugging myself I walked over to my bed, let myself slump down on it, and curled up until I was lying there like a baby.

Nanuk… My brother, and what did he think of me? Only because mum had made me swear not to tell anyone! An irrational anger at her coursed through my heart, while I was blaming all this on her. She had always been a reason to drive Nanuk and me further apart, but before I could think more badly about her, I quickly reminded myself that my mother had always loved us and been there for us. She had made us laugh and had held us when we had cried. To every bad thing about her I could remember ten good things.

Before mum's death Nanuk and I had never had such fights. Well, we had argued, of course, but only over stupid things such as 'Who will get the last piece of cake?' or 'Playing hide and seek or a board game?'. But ever since mum had died it had become so easy for Nanuk to become angry with me. I had felt like there had been nothing I could have possibly done right. He hadn't been okay with anything, everything I'd done had bothered him somehow, most of all small things, and he had exploded over every little thing, always been very edgy.

ut today had been worse. Never had we argued like this and I had never shouted at him like this before.

I didn't want this to happen, I didn't want us to argue, but I hadn't been able to stop it. Nanuk was usually the one who comforted me, and strangely he was also the only one I wanted to talk to about arguing with him.

My sobs quieted down a bit, but I couldn't do my homework and was only lying there, staring at the opposite wall of my room. I hugged my pillow and pulled it close, wanting it to be someone, anyone, why my thoughts settled on 'How could I keep getting into dangerous situations, convince Nanuk that I was not arrogant, and keep my secret a secret?'

Should I maybe just try to explain the situation to Nanuk without actually telling him my secret? Maybe this would be enough for him?

An irrational hope that dad had noticed our argument and would come to see if I was okay rose inside me. Sighing I tried to push that thought away, but I was still a child and after a fight a child normally wants to be comforted. I knew dad had heard us, we had certainly been loud enough, but he probably hadn't cared or thought it was just some silly fight between siblings. After all, he had fought a lot with our uncle when he had been a kid, but Nanuk and I didn't fight a lot, so it had to have been something out of the ordinary even for him. Or he just had never realised that we didn't fight.

I snuggled deeper into my pillow, feeling rather alone now.

But this was stupid. Nanuk and I would get over it, and I reminded myself that I had a great family. My brother was the best, he took care of me, and always was there for me. My father loved me and even let me study, which was clearly not something typical Earth Kingdom fathers would do. I should be lucky. My mother might be dead, but she had done so many good things for me. I had had it better than a lot of people. I still had a part of my family, I wasn't alone, we had money and we were kind of safe.

With those thoughts I managed to get a grip on myself, and my tears stopped to fall. I just had to keep thinking how thankful I could be. I was born with a lot of luck. My family was great, I was good at bending and fighting, I was intelligent, and as far as I could tell, I was pretty. Not that that mattered much, but it certainly helped with self-confidence when having to deal with other girls. So I had it well. I had a good life.

Sitting up I chose to write a bit in my diary, as I had started only last month. I thought it would help me to keep track of my studies, but now it would later probably serve as a historical source to the occupation of Ba Sing Se, so I mainly wrote about the occupation conditions. I didn't write my secrets in this diary, I mainly just wrote what I had done that day, but, of course, left things like knowing Prince Zuko out.

When it was time to have dinner I forced myself to go to the dining room and sat down on my seat. I was the first to arrive there, and smiled at San who brought the meals out from the kitchen. She smiled back, although she looked worried. Oh moon, she'd probably heard Nanuk and me fighting.

I swallowed and didn't wait long for Nanuk, who was still glaring at me. I tried to look as unmoved as possible, but I couldn't stop my eyes from becoming wider when dad suddenly entered the room.

He smiled at all of us and he did not have a book or a scroll with him, which he would normally read at a meal.

Feeling more than surprised I stared at him, as he sat down. He looked up at San. "Thank you, San. That would be all."

San bowed. "As you wish. Enjoy." She turned around, and walked into the kitchen to… Well, I actually didn't know what she was doing there. Cleaning up? Eating?

"Dad, is San eating now all by herself?" I asked.

He blinked, staring at me and then rubbed his neck. "I don't know. I have no idea. San?"

She quickly returned. "You've called, sir?"

"Uh… well… do you… uhm…" dad began.

"Do you usually eat alone?" Nanuk asked bluntly.

San nodded. "Yes, sir. But I clean the kitchen first."

"So you wait with cleaning until we're done?" I wanted to know.

She shook her head. "No, there are other pots and pans I needed to use, and I always start cleaning when you are eating."

"Would you like to eat with us?" dad asked, straightening himself and raising his eyebrows.

San's eyes became as wide as saucers and her mouth opened, but no words came out. "I… this wouldn't be appropriate."

"Nonsense!" Dad stood up, smiling brightly now and pulled a chair back for her. "Come on, sit down. I'll get you a plate and cutlery."

San actually blushed a little. "No offense, sir, but I'm pretty sure that you have no idea where to find these in the kitchen."

Dad twisted his mouth in embarrassment, while I found this highly amusing. "That's right."  
San smiled softly, inclined her head, and went back into the kitchen to get her dishes herself.

Dad still looked a bit embarrassed when he sat down and didn't look at either Nanuk or me.

We had duck roast with rice and steamed vegetables today and I immediately had to think about Zuko's, _Prince_ Zuko's fried duck. Moon, that had been so much tastier.

"Nanuk, Kira, I heard you two shouting earlier. Did you have a bad fight?" dad asked frowning, and sounding a bit worried.

I looked up at Nanuk, who stared at the wall next to me and shook his head. "No. No, it wasn't that bad. Just a normal argument between siblings."

I swallowed and tried to smile at dad.

He smiled back and ate some of his duck. "I'm glad. I wouldn't want you to be angry at each other. It's not easy to be caught in the middle. I wouldn't want to pick sides."

Nanuk smirked and glared shortly at me, so that dad didn't notice. I narrowed my eyes, knowing perfectly well what he had wanted to say to me. _'If dad had to pick sides, he would certainly pick mine!'_

I hurried through dinner, and went straight back to my room afterwards, since I still had a lot to study until tomorrow.

Nanuk had totally ruined my day. I mean, it was good to know how I affected my family, or mostly him, but did he have to be so mean about all that?

It was so hard to concentrate because of this!

And how he'd acted at dinner! Did this mean he didn't regret anything he'd said? Didn't he want us to reconcile? How could he want us to keep being mad at each other? I hated this feeling! It was awful, as if my heart were at war, a part of my soul was fighting the other part, and…

Urgh, stop!

_Earth King Jingguo gave the Dai Li more power and liberties, so that they could execute and give orders without having the Earth King's acceptance. This served the Earth King very well, since that way the Dai Li managed to…_

I tensed immediately, when he became more perceptible for me. When he was at the edge of my perception he barely bothered me, when I didn't know he was there, but now he felt as clear as I could see my notes lying in front of me.

Breathing slowly I tried to focus on my studies again, since I couldn't just go into the courtyard right now. It wasn't late enough to practise bending, and more than that, he might get ideas, if I just showed up the moment he reached my house.

I forced myself to clear my mind, which was even more difficult now that the prince issue was there again, but I managed to read through everything we had to for tomorrow. Fortunately, I had done the exercises for homework earlier in the library with Denzai.

When I was done I yawned and stretched a bit, before getting up and changing into something more comfortable for bending training.

I took off my upper tunics, until I was only wearing the top which covered my breasts, when I noticed the prince's presence again. I spun around, ran to my window and pulled the curtains shut. I took a deep breath, felt for his water and sighed in a relieved way, because he hadn't been in a position to see me.

I hadn't even thought about him. I had felt him before, but then when I had gone back to studying I had just forgot that he was here. His presence didn't feel like a threat anymore and I had become used to it, just as I had with Nanuk, dad, and San.

Groaning in annoyance I quickly changed and then walked outside to the fountain.

For a while I bent without thinking, only to feel the push and pull of my movements and the water itself. It calmed me down and got my racing thoughts to rest.

Shifting my weight and moving my arms felt so familiar that I drifted off into a semi-conscious state, where my mind was connected with the water, and human problems didn't bother me anymore.

_**Zuko**_

I knew she knew I was there.

She had told me that she could feel the water in my body, which was actually quite cool, so she had to know where I sat and that I was watching her like a creep.

Just what she had accused me of yesterday.

But no one could really blame me for watching her bend. I was on high alert, but since everything was quiet her movements had caught my eye, and it looked… beautiful. Kind of like a dance. It was so fluent and she looked so graceful. How could I not watch her?

Besides, this way I could also learn about the technique she used to fight. Or I could have if she would actually practise fighting.

Maybe she didn't do it on purpose. Because I was here and looked at her.

I watched Kilara a little longer, before I looked up again to look over the roofs of the middle ring. Everything still seemed calm and quiet.

Azula had asked me at dinner how I had met my friends Liwei and Shoi-ming, smiling dangerously. I had told her what Kilara had said, but Azula had kept asking.

I had become a bit angry at Mai, since I had thought that we had clarified the situation earlier. But I had tried not to glare at her, while Azula had drilled me with questions. I hadn't been able to answer most questions, since I really hadn't known the answer to most of them. When were they born? What did their parents do? I chose not to say anything about Kilara which I didn't know about Denzai, which was a lot, so Azula only got out of me how we had met, how old they were and what they had ordered at the tea shop. It was bad enough that she already knew they were students, so she would know where to look for them.

I couldn't afford Azula now to somehow get angry at me, no matter what. If she would it could happen that she'd used Kilara or Denzai to get to me.

I sighed, shaking my head. Had it been so smart to choose Azula's side? Yes, she was my sister, but I knew that she could do horrible things to people. She had her reasons, of course, and if I weren't so damn weak, maybe then I would be able to do that, too. But as long as I wondered how other people felt I wouldn't be able to be like her or father.

Maybe my decision wasn't one of weakness, but of wisdom. I would just stay away from the Fire Nation, until I didn't feel this weakness anymore. Only when I wouldn't have any regrets I could return. But until then I would stay in Ba Sing Se and try not to be too much of a disgrace to my family.

I knew that if I really wanted to get rid of this weakness I couldn't be around Kilara anymore. But Kilara would be the only good thing about staying in Ba Sing Se, and I knew I couldn't keep away from her, if I stayed here. I wanted to be in her presence way too much for doing that.

I noticed that she had stopped her bending and sat down at the fountain. She looked around before looking straight in my direction. I swallowed and started slowly my descend.

_**Kilara**_

Prince Zuko crept closer on the roof, before he jumped down, rolling up so that he didn't take the whole toll of his jump.

I stayed where I was and eyed the windows of our house nervously. After some time I slowly got up and walked back to the living room, motioning for the prince to follow me. No one was currently near, Nanuk in his room, dad in his office, and San in the kitchen, so it was safe.

I felt Prince Zuko follow me, and I waited for him at the entrance of the living room. If I didn't feel him with my bending, I clearly couldn't be able to tell he was there. He moved so quietly and quickly enough, so that the eye could barely follow, and he blended almost perfectly with the shadows, almost looking like a shadow himself.

His eyebrows rose when he stopped in front of the door. "You want me to come in?" he asked lowly.

I nodded. "Outside we might be heard, but if we go into the basement, no one will notice you or hear us talking."

I only saw his eyes, since the rest of his face was again covered by this green cloth, but it looked like he smiled.

After he had stepped in I closed the door and quickly led him out on the hallway and to the door which led to the basement. I only knew that San washed our clothes there, and that we had a few supplies stocked down there, as well as some of dad's things which hadn't had enough space in his study or the living room or his room. But I had never been in the basement before.

When the prince closed the door behind me I wondered if that had been such a good idea. I couldn't see a damn thing.

"Need some light?" he asked in a deep voice, and a hand appeared in front of me, holding a flame.

It was light and warm, but the fact that his arm could sneak around me like this meant that he stood close to me. I wanted to walk away, but his fire was in my way.

"Thanks." I chose to step to the side. "The one with the light has to go ahead."

He raised his eyebrows. "There is no trap here, right?"

It was my turn to raise my eyebrows. "I would go ahead, but I can't see where I'm going. I've never been down here."

He sighed and stepped in front of me, walking down the stairs and illuminating several shelves and cupboards, as well as the basin in which San washed our clothes. At the end of the room was an old chaise longue and I recognised it as mum's from the house in Makapu Village.

I slowly walked up to it and touched the rest lightly. It wasn't covered in dust, so I decided to sit down.

"So why do you want to talk to me?" Prince Zuko asked, leaning against a shelf, holding the flame and pulling the cloth from his mouth and nose.

"I didn't. You were the one who came here," I said, feeling confused

"But I only come here to make sure that nothing happens to you!" he objected, frowning.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Oh, really? So you have no interest in my presence?"

His eyes narrowed, too. "Of course I have, but that's not why I'm here. And you were the one who complained last time that you couldn't sleep when I was here! Now you dragged me down here? What kind of logic is this?"

I leaned forward, resting an elbow on my thigh and my chin in my palm.

"Okay, you're right. But… well, yesterday we talked and I felt like we hadn't finished talking yet."

He looked to the side. "I think we did."

"No, we didn't, and you know that. We only steered around the topic, Prince Zuko," I said in a cold tone, and saw him flinch, when I said his title.

"I still don't know what you mean."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine. Then keep pretending everything's okay, but we both have no idea what to expect from the other. So tell me, what are you going to do now? You will go back, won't you? It's dangerous for you to be here, but you're still coming. Why? And most important: I need to know if you're my enemy now."

* * *

_Sooo, everything is going a bit slower than I originally thought, I hope that's okay, and it's not getting kind of boring. I have planned some action, but I don't know yet if it will happen in the next chapter. I'm not exactly "planning" the chapters, I just know what will happen next and then I'll write it. _

_Answerto review:_

_From _ Sam. HoranTurtleDuck_: First, I really want to apologise for writing your username the wrong way after the last chapter. I wrote "Duck" without a capital letter, probably because "turtle duck" would be written as one word in my native language, and I'm really sorry about it. And I left this space between Sam and Horan, because if I write it together, your name just vanishes after I saved the document, which happened last time, too, and I have no idea why. Anyway, thank you for your nice words about the last chapter! You wrote a lot in your review, so I'm going to number the points to make this answer more structured. 1. I didn't want Kira to seem to be bad at jokes, but to just have a really crappy sense of humor, cause she likes crack jokes as well;). 2. So about bad traits of Kira... I really didn't write a lot about that. 2.1. She crippled a man, but I think that was understandable, too. Besides, it was only an accident, it's not something bad about her character. 2.2. From Nanuk's point of view he already thought in chapter three that Kilara did irresponsible things without seeming to care about how her family would take it if something happened to her, which of course, escalated in this chapter into this fight. 2.3. And one other thing is the fact that she feels a little of contempt towards her father, because he's not behaving like, in her opinion, a father should behave. But, and I hope this was understandable in this chapter, she feels bad for having these feelings. 3. I planned her character before writing it, and there are things she's not good at or which don't come easily to her, but these things hadn't been important to the story yet. I didn't want to portray her character and then write about her, but that the reader would learn bit by bit about her. I thought this would make sense, since it normally is like this in stories which are told in the I-perspective, and it was also like this in canon that we learned pretty late about some important character traits of the protagonists. Long story short, there are a lot of things which you don't know about Kira yet. But another thing about her "bad character traits": I didn't want to give her just one bad thing and be done with it, because that is not how humans work. They are really bad at some things, less bad at others, okay at others etc., but normal people don't have something overly immoral about themselves, so I think I won't be going with that. I was mostly thinking about myself and my friends and what irritates me about us, because I want Kilara to seem mostly like a normal girl. She's in puberty, so she has a few issues, but her main problem is going to be the topic of the next chapter (she's going to tell Zuko about it). Besides, she's sure of her strenghts and what she wants to do with them, so I don't think I'm going to address identity crisis. And everything else will only be addressed when the time comes. People begin to think about their flaws and noticing them, when they relaise that other people aren't thinking about some things or doing some things the way they are doing it. And for Kira this time just hasn't come yet. What is more it that, like I said, Kira is mostly a normal girl and she hasn't experienced such crazy things as Team Avatar has, so I thought it was okay not to point out her mistakes or flaws too much. 4. Where did you get the impression that Kira is good at socialising? Is it because she wanted to befriend Zuko? Or because she made friends with Denzai? Because that was mostly Denzai's doing in my opinion. Kira is not anti-social, but if she doesn't have to or the situation isn't special, she doesn't just go to other people trying to make friends. At least, that's what I am thinking. She's friendly, though, so maybe this seems like she is a social person? 5. SPOILER: She's also not a waterbending prodigy, she was just drilled to become a very good bender, but this wasn't mentioned yet a lot (once I wrote that her mother was strict with her training, because she wanted to prove that girls can be great waterbenders, too, but I can't remember where I wrote it), it will be important in the next chapter, though, so I can understand why you thought she might be a prodigy. I also noticed you writing "basically", so I guess you already understood that. 6. About making mistakes or throwing a fit just because: she's going to make mistakes, according to Nanuk she already did, and sometimes she thinks that, too, but Kira won't just make mistakes, because she would act without thinking. She's just not that kind of person. So if she would make a mistake, then only because another person would be smarter than her, not behave like she had anticipated, or she would underestimate him/her. And I don't think Kira is a person who would throw a fit without a very good reason. I leave this behavior to our aggression issues prince. You said irrational behaviour makes us human, but I don't think so. Behaviour might seem irrational at first, but it always comes from a source and has a reason and is therefore rational. Please forgive me, I'm a psychology student, but that's why I can't really come up with something highly irrational (except for megalomania and some other bad things I don't want to mention, and no one wants Kira to be like that, and even these things have a reason). But I'm going to think about it, thank you for the criticism! 7. Last things: I think a lot about my own flaws, but I didn't want Kira to become too much like myself, (which she's clearly not, I would die if I would study that much) so maybe that's why I didn't give her any. But while reflecting on this I got some pretty good ideas how I can make Kira a bit more realistic with some flaws. :D Thank you very very very much for everything you wrote! It's totally okay, I got it that it's just constructive criticism, I didn't take it the way that you thought Kira would become a Mary Sue (although I don't know who that is, but I got what you meant, there are a lot of too perfetct characters who don't seem realistic). And again a big THANK YOU, cause this is exactly what I always wanted to read in reviews. I'm a bit of a correction freak, so I always point out illogical things or things I didn't find plausible or which bothered me in the reviews I write to fan fiction authors (just as constructive criticism of course, I'm always very friendly, and make sure not to offend the author), and I always hoped that someone would do this for me, too. It's still great to read that people like what I write, but this isn't really enough for an author to improve, and I think that everyone can always improve at everything, if they only knew where and how. Anyway, thanks a lot, and I'm going to think about mentioning little flaws of Kilara, and there will be something she's struggling with in the next chapter. By the way, I already planned on writing about this, before I read your review. I'm serious. But if you find other illogical things in my story or want something interesting to happen, then I'll (probably) gladly add it to the story (just recently one author did that with something I proposed in a review and when I read it I knew how Sokka felt during the Ember Island Players, when his actor told his jokes on stage. That's a great feeling, everyone should at least once feel this, so be free to imagine and propose something:D.)  
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_Well, long review, long answer. _

_I probably won't be able to post the next chapter before this weekend, but I'm going to hurry as much as I can._


	14. Chapter 14

_Hi everyone! I am again sorry for the wait, and I seriously cannot believe how little time I've got during holiday! I guess I'm just doing a lot of things, which I cannot do so frequently during term, so most of my days are full from eight o'clock in the morning until ten pm. _

**_Important:_** _The next chapter will probably be updated very late, because I'll go on holiday on Tuesday for three weeks, and since the program is pretty tight, I don't know how it will go on with writing the next chapter. But I'm definitely going to get a lot inspiration, since I'm going to China! That's one of my travel dreams, and I'm so excited! Mostly because of the food, I guess, but the culture will be very interesting, too, and I will also learn a lot of new things. I already noticed that the places in which I will stay have got names characters from ATLA have, too, or that I chose for characters in this fic. :D I hope I'm going to see more ATLA ot LoK names!_

_I hope you'll like this chapter, and please review!  
_

_I do not own Avatar The Last Airbender, nor its characters. I only own my OCs._

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**Chapter Fourteen**

**On a Chaise Longue in the (not entire) Dark**

_**Zuko**_

My eyes widened slightly at her words. What? Her enemy? How could she think that? I had been trying to protect her this whole time! There was no other reason for me to even be here! I had even tried to protect her friend, because I knew how ruthless Azula could be. Hadn't it been me who had warned her?

Of course, a normal sane person would have seen me as an enemy from the very beginning, but because Kilara had never attacked me I had hoped that this meant something. That she trusted me.

Some part of me still thought that being enemies would make everything easier. It would mean that I was ready and willing to go home, to show my unwavering loyalty to my father. It would prove that I didn't want anything else in the world as much as I wanted his acceptance.

I told myself that I kept away from the Fire Nation, because I hadn't accomplished my mission, because I still didn't deserve to go home, and because I was too weak. But no matter how often I told myself these words they felt like empty shells, with no truth behind.

I sighed and breathed in the mouldy smell which all basements seemed to have. I almost pinched the bridge of my nose with my right hand, the one with the flame. Frowning I looked around, moving the shadows simultaneously.

"Don't you have torches or something here?"

"You hedged my questions!" Kilara replied calmly with a bit of an accusing edge to her voice.

Narrowing my eyes I whipped my head towards her.

She sat there with folded arms, her back leaned against the chaise longue's rest, her legs crossed and eyebrows raised. Something about her crossed legs bothered me. Probably because Azula sat always like this.

"What do you expect to hear, Kilara?" I snapped. "I… I am loyal to my nation, and if that's enough for you to see me as an enemy, then do it. But since you don't have to fear me, I don't see the point in seeing me as an enemy."

She regarded me with an appraising look, and I could almost see how her brain was working.

"What about my other questions?" she asked in a demanding manner.

I looked into her eyes and endeavoured to sound and look sincere. "I already told you why I'm here."

Kilara lowered her head, her bun scrubbing lightly against the wall. Looking at me through her lashes she seemed offended and angry. "And I told you I wouldn't need you to protect me."

"I know!" I hissed, getting pissed at the fact that she still didn't understand. "But the probability that a soldier or officer won't care about your cautiousness and still imprison you for whatever is still there."

"So?" she raised both her eyebrows, her lips pressed together.

I was getting seriously pissed right now. "And if I don't look in on you, then how do I know that this didn't happen? If I would stay away I would have no idea what you're doing and how you are, and I would ask myself the whole time if something happened to you!" I leaned a bit forward, my voice getting louder, and my flame brighter and larger. The shadows moved in the whole room, and I almost snuffed the fire, afraid I would scare Kilara.

Her eyes widened, the fire visible in her irises, but I only dimmed the flame, wanting her to know that I had control over it. It was ironic, there I was talking about how I wanted to make sure she was safe, while I held the fire which was exactly what I wanted to protect her from.

Kilara shifted on the velvet which bolstered the chaise longue, pulling her legs up. She wrapped her arms around her thighs and rested her chin on her knees. "I see," she whispered.

"You do?" I asked sceptically.

One corner of her mouth lifted and her eyes seemed warmer suddenly.

Holding my flame higher I wanted to see her better, and tried not to blind myself in the process. Although it never hurt when producing a flame I felt the heat very well on my cheek.

"Yeah. That's exactly how I felt when the soldiers searching for you showed up at my uncle's house. I didn't know if you were safe, and the possibility that something would happen to you was there, so I followed you." Her voice sounded softer and was lower.

I felt a bit surprised at her words, but I also took it as a sign that she had become a bit more open towards me again.

"You knew who I was then." I didn't know why I said this, since I knew she had known it.

"I thought I did. But now I'm not sure anymore. Everything you do disagrees with other of your actions. You hunted the Avatar, but you defended an Earth Kingdom child. You told me you didn't search for your father's love anymore, but you help your sister conquering Ba Sing Se just to do that. You're protecting the weak from the powerful, but you only seek acceptance and love from the powerful."

I flinched and felt my stomach clench. It wasn't nice to be analysed like this at all. But she was right. I wanted to be father's son, the prince, so much, but I also didn't want to go back.

Suddenly I couldn't stand seeing the flame in my palm anymore and snuffed it. Maybe I also didn't want Kilara to see the turmoil on my face. I knew I was contorting my face heavily, and had to strain myself not to breathe fire in anger. But I wasn't angry at Kilara.

My breaths were still loud in the darkness and the only thing I really heard. Without seeing anything the earthy scent seemed to become stronger.

Kilara took a deep breath. "Zuko?" she breathed, and I heard her insecurity in her voice.

Then something came to my mind.

"How do you know I defended an Earth Kingdom child?" I asked.

Kilara's clothes rustled and I heard her shifting on the chaise longue. She swallowed. "I came into that village, while I was following you. They wanted me to leave immediately, because you had made them very suspicious of any strangers."

"Really?" I clenched my fists, not liking it that they had treated her the same way they had treated me.

"Yeah. It only enforced my wish to find you, you know. The fact that you defended this boy showed me that I was right about thinking you weren't evil," she whispered, and I felt my heart beating faster.

"They shouldn't have acted this way towards you," I hissed.

"I didn't like the way they treated you either," she replied, sounding almost amused.

I relaxed a bit again, slumping more against the shelf and crossing my arms. The tension in my shoulders left me, and I wondered if it would be okay to sit down next to her on the chaise longue. It had looked rather comfortable despite the old smell which emanated from its bolster.

"But they behaved even worse towards Nanuk," she murmured, and I raised my head, although I didn't see a thing.

Quickly I bent a flame in my palm again, and making up my mind walked towards her and sat down next to her. I noticed that her eyes widened and didn't leave me, observing every of my movements. Was she still suspicious of me? Well, fortunately she didn't tense. I took that as a sign of progress.

"Why had he been there?" I frowned slightly, since I had always thought Kilara had come alone to help me and Uncle.

"He followed me. I didn't tell anyone that I would leave or where I would go. It was a huge mistake, I know that, but at that moment it seemed the smartest thing to do. I don't mean leaving," she added hastily, having probably noticed me tensing up. "Just that I didn't leave a note or a letter or anything. I thought they wouldn't even believe such a letter, if I wrote one. You know, because kidnappers could force one to write something like this. And knowing my brother and uncle they would have only worried the same or more, but…" She sighed, and put her legs down on the floor, leaning forward, her elbows on her thighs.

"You really… But they… Okay, you never told me what happened exactly to you, after you arrived back home. You only said you were allowed to study now," I pointed out, looking at her from the side.

She shrugged. "That was like the most important thing to me about this situation. But I had a huge fight with my uncle. And I know that Nanuk was angry at me, too, but he was also glad that nothing had happened to me, so I think he suppressed his anger."

"But you were alright! Why should he have been angry?"

She snorted. "I thought the same way you do. Well, in leaving without letting anyone of my family know that I left, he saw an evidence of the fact that I didn't care for them. Imagine something had happened to me, and I could have never returned to my family. They would have never known and would have worried for years, not getting any closure. This feeling of not knowing is really awful. And I left knowing that I could inflict this feeling on them."

I swallowed, being reminded of mother.

Kilara was right. This feeling was horrible. Sometimes I had wished she was dead, so that this ignorance would finally leave me. I thought I could better swallow her death than pondering on what had happened to her until forever. At some point I had tried to convince me that she was dead. I mean, if she was still alive, then she would have searched for me the moment, she had heard about my banishment, right?

"Well, he's right. This is… pretty nasty behaviour of yours."

"Hey!" she snarled and slapped my thigh.

My eyes widened and I turned around to look at her, seeing her cheeks flushing.

She quickly narrowed her eyes and suddenly leaned in closer. "Don't think that just because you're a prince again I will act differently towards you. If I want to tease you, I will. And I have the right to slap you, if you say or do something I don't like!" she hissed, her eyelids shaking from the force she pressed them together with.

I blinked and felt the urge to kiss her again.

She was in my personal space and I noticed I liked her determined look. I wanted to press my lips onto hers, feeling their softness again.

Dammit! This had to stop!

I had thought that it already had after I had told her what had happened in the crystal catacombs, but maybe I had been too hasty, wanting the feelings to stop at all costs. Mostly because she didn't return them, but also because of the situation of the war, or the end of it, right now.

My eyes still darted to her lips. She was just so close, and although she had told me she would slap and tease me, which I didn't like, it meant that she would still act like before. Like the person who liked and trusted me, who had accepted me.

I smelled her herbal and flowery scent, but felt like the flowery part predominated my senses. She smelled lovely, and I wanted to be closer to this.

"If Nanuk suppressed his anger, how do you know he was angry?" I asked, straining my voice not to sound husky. I didn't want her to notice what I had been thinking. I knew, or I assumed, what it was she felt towards me, and I didn't want to embarrass myself. My pride didn't allow that I tried this again, after what had happened last time.

It had been difficult, though, to remember what we had talked about, before she had slapped my thigh.

She wrinkled her nose a bit, making a sniffing sound at the same time and took a deep breath, stroking her hair behind her ears. "He… told me… later. Er, today, actually. It was… not nice." She let out a dry laugh, and my heartbeat calmed down pretty fast.

Kilara's voice had sounded hesitant and sad, something I had barely ever heard from her. Not even when she had talked about her mother's death had her voice sounded so cracked.

"You… had a fight?" I probed cautiously.

"Yeah," she whispered and smiled then. It wasn't a happy smile. "We had never fought before like this. He thinks that my family isn't important to me, because I get myself willingly in dangerous situations, without telling them."

I opened my mouth, wanting to come up with something comforting, but I really wasn't good at this. "That's a crap situation."

Wow, Zuko, great! That's exactly what you should say to a sad girl!

Urgh!

I face palmed inwardly.

Kilara only laughed dryly. "Yeah, that's one way to put it. I mean, I understand him, I do! He was just so… mean, nasty about it. He never talked to me like this before."

I narrowed my eyes, since I didn't like it that she sounded so down because of her brother. I glared at the ceiling, hoping to glare through the stone and wood right at her brother, wherever he was in this house. But I didn't say anything and tried not to show her how tense I was.

"I understand his point, but it's clearly shitty to act towards you like this. And I'm sorry, but I was wondering this, too," I murmured.

"What?"

"If you're somehow insane or adrenaline rush addicted. You do a lot of reckless things. I mean, yeah, you were right about most things. I wouldn't have hurt you anyhow, but you couldn't know that. I'm the son of the Fire Lord. It's just not someone people would normally trust or help. You had to have a bit of fear. It's only logical." Contorting my eyebrows I threw her a sideway glance, waiting for her answer, holding my breath. Was there a reason behind all this? At some point I had accepted that maybe Kilara just saw the good in people and found it easy to trust them. When I had visited her on Saturday night and told her what I had done I had been ready to defend myself, being sure that she wouldn't trust me anymore and maybe even attack, but she hadn't. She had waited until I attacked, and I had thought that she had known somehow that I wouldn't do this, but… There was probably something else.

"Yeah, you're right. I didn't really trust you. I was positive you wouldn't hurt me or be dangerous, but I also had an ace all this time."

"Oh, yes. Right. You could have just thrown me against a wall without moving a limp," I understood.

She nodded. "Yeah. I can do this with a lot of people at the same time. I told you this, because there was no point in denying what I can do. Anyone who had been bent like this never forgets it," she whispered, staring at the floor, hugging herself now.

"Are you okay?" I asked, fearing that maybe I had forced her to think of bad memories.

She nodded. "Yeah. I… uh, I'm sorry I did this to you. I never wanted you to know about this, and I did it that one time out of instinct, not because I wanted to. You just… scared me." Her voice became lower, and I felt goose bumps covering my skin.

She had been afraid of me this one evening. Well, it was only understandable. I had acted like a jerk, and I also had wanted to scare her. I had wanted her to fear and hate me. I wished I could go back in time and make sure this had never happened. I would have told her what I had done, but differently. Calmly and in a focused manner.

"I'm sorry about that," I said clearly, looking in her eye.

She raised one corner of her mouth. "I know."

I took a deep breath, putting my left hand on the bolster. It felt a lot softer than I had thought. I wished I could support myself with both hands, but I wanted to keep being able to see Kilara's facial expressions. "Can I ask you what this is? How do you do this?" I wanted to know.

Her friendly open gaze immediately vanished, showing a distrustful and defensive Kilara I had never seen like this. "I don't think so, Zuko. I had never even shown people this ability, but talking about it?" She shook her head. "I think it's better if no one ever knows. It could be a gift from the spirits, you know. Or a curse," she added.

"Wait. So that means not even your family knows? You kept this to yourself the whole time? For your whole life?" I stared at her wide eyed, hearing my voice sounding incredible.

"Yes. My father and Nanuk don't know," she said.

"So no one besides myself knows about this?"

"Yes. At least now."

The true meaning of these words hit me. "Your mother knew?"

She looked up at me, her gaze surprised, before she cast her eyes down again. " Yeah. But it's so horrible, and I don't… I mean, it could be practical, and before I would die or anyone else, I would always use it. But it's unnatural and twisted. It also feels awful to do it. And I… I promised my mother not to tell anyone. Not Nanuk, not dad. I held that promise, but since she's dead it became more difficult to hold it. I could always talk to her about it, but now there is no one. And not being able to talk freely to my brother is… Well, it's annoying."

"You can talk to me," I offered.

She raised her eyebrows, looking unconvinced, and almost amused.

"What? I already know about it, and… I told you once I would always want to listen to you. And this is not even boring people stuff."

One corner of her mouth twitched, while she was looking at me.

I could tell she tried to find out if she could trust me.

"I'd like to," she finally said, and I felt relief rushing through me. "But…"

"You still don't know if you can trust me," I finished for her.

Her small smile vanished, her eyes growing sad. "Yes. That's true. I know you're not a bad person, but you are highly loyal to the Fire Nation, and I really don't want anyone from the enemy nation to know about my secret ability."

Frowning I bit on my lower lip and nodded. This was understandable, although I was really desperate for her trusting me again. And I was also convinced that I would never tell anyone, because I knew it could get her in danger. I didn't only owe it to her, but I would never do anything to hurt her again. Even if it meant betraying the Fire Nation. I just had to make her see this somehow. But wait a minute.

"Does this mean you never trusted me?" I asked, not caring about how hurt I sounded.

She stiffened, and didn't look at me. That was everything I needed to know.

_**Kilara**_

"I think so. Sometimes I told myself that I trusted you. But I always had doubts about your loyalty. I was wondering if you could ever get over your loyalty for the Fire Lord," I admitted.

Zuko stayed silent, and I didn't dare to look at his face.

Well, what could he actually say about this? He had thought I trusted him for so long, because I had wanted him to believe this. My 'reckless' actions and friendliness might have enforced his belief.

He let out a snort, sounding grim, but also kind of amused. "You were right. As usual."

I shook my head. "No, I wasn't. It's true that I had my doubts, but I believed what you told me the other day. You know, that you won't keep trying to please your father, because you considered it as pointless."

I kept staring at the floor, still not daring to look at him, because I didn't want to see his reaction. Had I wanted to hurt him or make him feel bad with what I had said? Probably.

"I think so now," he suddenly spoke up, his voice sounding raspy.

Now I frowned and turned my head to look at him. His head was bent back and he seemed to stare at the ceiling. Since the light came from under his face it even threw more shadows on it. I straightened myself, licking my dry lips. "What?"

"I made a decision. I won't go back," he told me, sounding sincere and determined.

My frown deepened, while I narrowed my eyes and tried to rip his shell apart. I needed to look into the depths of his being to know if I could trust him. What if this was a lie? What if all of his behaviour had never been his true self? What if he just played mind games?

I had never seen proof to this theory, but I still wondered about it sometimes. It was just so improbable that the son of the cruellest man alive wasn't cruel at all. Or what if he also had been right about his father? Maybe he wasn't cruel, too, and all he did was because of the war? He would have been brainwashed into believing the superiority of the Fire Nation, too, and maybe he himself wasn't so bad, either. After all, General Iroh had been really nice to me, although he had led the Siege of Ba Sing Se and let thousands of men and women die.

"Why would you make this decision?" I demanded, sounding suspicious.

He stared at the flame holding hand in his lap. "Azula killed the Avatar. It was my mission to capture him, and I failed. It's as simple as that."

I bit on my lower lip again, thinking this through. "Then why did she tell you she thought your father would accept you back? Shouldn't she know him well?"

"Mhm, yeah. But I still don't trust her. It would be exactly like her to make me go home, only to realise I had made a mistake, because father would throw me into prison or something. When she first showed up she told me father had changed his mind about my banishment. She lied, because she had to bring me back to the Fire Nation to get imprisoned. She could still be after that goal."

"Wow, compared to your situation mine seems pretty banal," I said dryly, scolding myself for loading my stuff on him.

"No, It's not. It's just different. My family has always been like this. So I think I should be used to it by now," he sighed, but didn't sound understandable at all.

"But you do realise there's a chance Azula might tell the truth? You could actually go home. Isn't that what you wanted? I thought that was why you had fought on her side in the first place? And you told me you would go home," I objected, feeling confusion, and even more suspicion. Did he change his mind on that? Again?

"Yeah. But… I still didn't accomplish my mission. It's a question of honour." He sounded like an uptight idiot, and I raised an eyebrow. Riiight.

"Well… That's bullshit."

He whipped his head around, his eyes wide, before he glared at me. "What?"

"Bullshit, Zuko. Your honour? Are you serious? How can you talk about honour when there's nothing you can do to still accomplish your mission? You don't plan on waiting for the next Avatar and capture him or her?!" I wanted to know. I also would find it very unfair if his banishment wouldn't be lifted now. Like I had said, there was nothing more he could do.

"No, the… the Avatar should be gone. For good. He was in the Avatar State, when my sister hit him, and that has to break the cycle."

I gasped, feeling utter shock. My eyes widened. "WHAT?!"

The Avatar was gone for good? Like… he would never come back? This world was left to destroy itself?

And Zuko…

I understood that he was loyal to his nation, but this was clear craziness. Ending the Avatar's cycle could throw this world into a permanent state of chaos and destruction. No one knew what would happen without such a powerful being to maintain peace.

"Wow. This is…"

"I didn't want it to happen!" Zuko quickly defended himself.

I just kept raising my eyebrows.

"I never… I never thought Azula would go so far. My goal was always just to capture him. Because otherwise he would be reborn, or when the cycle is broken, it might disturb the balance in this world. I would have never wanted to take that risk," he explained further, sounding sincere again. He was either a very good actor or a very bipolar person.

"So why don't you want to go back then?" I probed again.

"I already told you!" he suddenly snapped. "If you're not okay with my reason it is your problem!"

I narrowed my eyes further. "That's not it. I just don't believe you. I think you don't believe yourself either, although you seemed to have developed a habit of lying to yourself. You told me you didn't want your father's acceptance anymore!" I accused him.

"Yes, I know what I told you, you don't have to remind me all the time!" He began to sound angrier, but also somehow frightened and I knew I was right. He didn't want me to see the truth.

"Then would you please tell me how you could change your mind so quickly? How can I ever trust you if you're able to make a 180 degrees turn within a day without giving one any good reason?!" I shouted, clenching my fists, and leaning a bit towards him. I craved to whip him with water, just to let my frustration over him out. "How can I trust anything you're saying?"

He took a sharp breath, his eyes wide, and his mouth stayed slightly open when he stared at me. "Kilara…"

"What?" I demanded, raising one corner of my mouth, making my face look unbelievable and disappointed at the same time. "You're just so unbelievable, Zuko. You're the Fire Lord's son, yet you don't seem like it at all. I found you were actually nice, funny, way too sensitive, and caring, but you can also be a frightening psycho, and you… I just don't know what to believe anymore!" I admitted, feeling tears forming behind my eyes. "I wanted to keep believing you're not a bad person, after what you've done, and part of me did, but… It just doesn't make any sense to me, and I damn hate it when something doesn't make sense! And _you_ don't make any sense!" My breathing was heavy and fast, while I blinked hastily, because I didn't want him to see the tears. Why was I even starting to cry? Why did this all come up now? I had been able to have civilised conversations with him before, why did this have to happen now? Not even I had noticed that I felt like this. I had tried to be understanding, to understand and accept him, but I had also wanted nothing to do with him anymore. But maybe this was the problem. Maybe I wanted something to do with him, but I couldn't make myself admitting it to him, as long as I had still these doubts and fears.

His brows contorted a bit more, while utter shock passed over his face. His mouth moved, like he wanted to say something, but didn't know what to say. Suddenly he extinguished his flame.

I froze. Shit. Was he angry at me? Did he want to use the darkness to… Would he hurt me?

I took in shallow breaths, trying not to be noticeable at all, just how I would act towards a predator. I didn't dare to move, although I knew he knew exactly where I was.

Should I try to run and escape?

"So you…" he sounded strange to my ears, as if something was not right with his throat or nose. "So you hate _me_?" He seemed to want to clarify this, putting emphasis on the 'me', but he sounded husky.

I took one more shallow breath. "No. I just hate it that I can't figure you out." And I hated some of the things he'd done, but I didn't feel safe enough to tell him this.

"Well, that makes two of us."

"Huh?" I couldn't stop myself from articulating such a peasant expression.

He snorted, sounding amused again. "You really think that I don't ask myself those questions, too? I have no idea what I really want or need, nor do I know who I want to be. It's not a piece of cake being me."

"I would have never thought it was," I whispered.

The flame in his hand came up again with a whooshing sound. His position had changed a bit, he leaned more forward now and wasn't supporting himself on his left arm anymore.

His face looked cautious and shy, which confused me even more. I really hated it when he looked like that.

"You're actually right. As usual. I think I did lie to myself. When Uncle had the tea shop I just saw how happy he was and I wanted to try this for him. He had supported me so much, and I felt like I needed to give something back. I thought that some time in peace would do. I actually never thought of my father at this time. But I think I never really gave up on trying to find a way home. I'm sorry that I lied to you, but as you said, I lied to myself as well. It was all just easier that way."

I listened carefully, trying to find some contradictions which would prove he was lying, but I didn't found any. Fighting down my hope that I hadn't been all wrong about him, I put a scowl on my face.

"This still doesn't explain everything. You know how evil your sister is. She tried to kill your Uncle! Why would you want to side with her? Why would you even want this stupid war to continue? And why would you want to win? You never played a part in this war, so…"

He looked deeply in thought, but calmer than before. Maybe questioning his motives had some sort of relaxing effect on him.

He suddenly sighed heavily, before turning his head to look at me again. "I'm going to be honest with you. Or, at least, I'll try. In case there's something else I'm lying to myself about, you know. I'll tell you what I believe, because you want to understand me. And I'm doing so, because I want you to trust me. I fully believe that you have nothing to fear from me, and I… I miss how it was before. But you might not like everything you're going to hear from me being honest", he warned me, but I had already expected this.

Trying to be the Fire Prince's friend couldn't just be easy, right? No, it, of course, had to be as difficult and draining as a desert.

So I nodded. "You have my word that I'm going to think about it, before deciding anything. I will try." To do what? To trust him? To be his friend or to like him?

"Okay, uhm… The war never mattered to me. A lot. I only saw some of its rather unpleasant consequences in the Earth Kingdom, while travelling, and I noticed how a lot of it is wrong. For some time now, I had wanted to be accepted by my father to be able to become Fire Lord one day and alter all this. I would not have been able to make everything good again, but I would have tried to make life for all the three nations easier. I even thought for a brief time that I could work together with the Avatar later. You know, free him, as a sign of my good will. Because he would have been imprisoned, if I would have been Fire Lord. Uh, yeah… I completely let this thought go. At least, of the Avatar.

"When Azula had shown up in Ba Sing Se I had felt threatened by her at first. And I was so angry, because no matter what I did or where I went, I knew she would always find me, because she managed to find me here. She was always very lucky, you know. Things always came easily to her. But then she told me that father would accept me back if I fought at her side, and, well… Everything I had told myself over the last three years just came to its surface again. It's true that I'm loyal to my nation, but at this point I only thought that this might be my last chance. Father would accept me back, and everything would be back to normal. Living in the Fire Nation wasn't really bad. I think I had a rather happy childhood, and I always wanted to return to these days. That's one of the reasons why I always wanted to go home. I helped Azula, because she gave me a solution to my three years lasting struggle. Because I would regain my honour, and because I would go home." He swallowed, and frowned at the other end of the room, where there was only a shelf filled with glasses, which probably contained conserved fruits and vegetables.

"Did you have any doubts?" I asked cautiously.

Zuko rubbed his neck and made a funny grimace. "Uhm… yes, of course. I did think about how it would be to stop Azula. But this would have meant to fight alongside the Avatar, and this would have meant to be a real enemy of the Fire Nation. A real traitor of my own free will, and I couldn't do that. The animosity between the Avatar and me was also something which would have been difficult to overcome." He shrugged, as if this was everything there was to it.

"And… would you have chosen otherwise if you had known that Azula would break the Avatar cycle?" I asked tentatively, since I didn't know how he would react, but also because I was clearly hoping for a special answer.

"I don't know. If I would know that the whole world would end, then yes, I think so. But nothing bad happened yet, and if it stays like this, then I don't think I would," he admitted quietly, looking at the floor.

I really wanted to become angry at him for this answer, but I again understood where it came from, and I valued the fact he was telling the truth.

"So how come you changed your mind again?" I asked, trying to sound soft, and not too demanding, because this was what interested me the most.

"I guess I didn't really think the whole situation through when I chose Azula's side. This only happened later. It has been a shock that Uncle chose the Avatar's side, of course. Because I had thought he would stand by me no matter what, but I was obviously wrong." His voice sounded sad and a bit broken, and I couldn't help it but to move a little closer to him.

"But then it occurred to me that Azula had not needed my help at all, which I found suspicious. She told me she had underestimated the Avatar's group and that I was the only one who had enough experience in hunting him, so she had come to the conclusion that she needed me, but I still don't really buy it. Last time Azula had tried to get the Avatar – uhm, that was in this abandoned village, right before you showed up to heal Uncle – she had been alone against four benders of every element, another firebender, and…" He frowned, thinking. "Uh, someone. He once managed to hit me with a strange curled weapon," he explained further, seeming to be deep in thought, and recalling all his memories.

I only rolled my eyes. "Zuko. Keep to the point."

He glared at me, but went on explaining. "Yeah, and then I started to think that I did not deserve to go home, because I hadn't captured the Avatar. I hadn't even killed him. I had really done nothing, except for choosing the Fire Nation's side, which would have been obvious, and fighting this waterbender." He said the word 'waterbender' with a slightly confused and softer tone to his voice.

I frowned. What was with Katara?

"Did she manage to escape?" I asked.

He nodded. "Yeah. Didn't I tell you this already? You know? This, uh, when Nanuk discovered I was a firebender?"

I shrugged. "You said a lot of things that night, most of it bullshit, other things so shocking I had to ponder about them even minutes later. You can't expect me to remember everything you said."

His face turned sour, as he narrowed his eyes and lifted one part of his upper lip into a scowl. I had a feeling he didn't like it when I said 'bullshit'.

"I'm pretty much convinced that father would not accept me back with what I have done, and I don't want to risk the humiliation or even being thrown into prison," he ended, but again, he didn't sound understandable. There was an edge to his voice, as if he somehow felt suppressed anger about this.

"And you're sure you won't change your mind?" I asked, probing, my facial expression suspicious and unbelieving again. He had kind of a history here in changing his mind. How was it he didn't get dizzy from all these 180 degree turns?

"No. I mean, yeah, but I would go back, if I would get a direct order from the Fire Lord and an official document which would lift my banishment," he explained.

"Don't you think you might get that in the future?" I leaned back against the rest, because I didn't feel threatened anymore, and this situation had become rather comfortable.

"Maybe. I doubt it, though. But I hope for it, " he quietly added.

I took a deep breath, processing everything he had said right now in my head.

Most of it did make sense, understanding that Zuko was not a person who thought a lot about other people's motives and never really planned ahead.

How could he have not seen it before that Azula didn't really need his help?

"But what if Azula really still has to imprison you, and by refusing to leave with her, you will force her to use violence again?" I asked.

He took a deep breath. "Then I'll fight."

"It would be smarter to get informed now of her true motives. And if she really still has to imprison you, then it would be smart to go into hiding," I let him know.

His head whipped around again. "What? Hiding? No, I won't hide anymore. It never did me any good, and it never worked."

I groaned in annoyance at his stubbornness.

"What?" he snarled now.

"You're annoying when you're too stubborn to be logical," I explained, leaning my head back at the wall, stretching my neck a bit.

"I'm never really logical."

I couldn't help the chuckle which escaped me, but glowered at him the moment I saw his pleased expression. He probably thought I didn't notice how he would smile slightly or perk up every time I did or said something which would imply that we could be friends again.

"And what will you do, if you're going to be banished? If you can never return, but if you don't have to go to prison, hm?" I changed the topic. Because this interested me a lot, too. It was highly probable that this would be how it would be from now on.

He shrugged. "I thought I'd just stay here. I could maybe get a job in the Fire Nation regime and report to Azula. You know, controlling a certain area, or something like that

"You'll just stay here? When you would be free to see everything?" I asked incredulously.

He snorted. "I already saw most of the world."

"But not as a tourist," I pointed out, grinning.

He smiled again, but this time not in excited happiness, but in amusement at my words. "I highly doubt that a world controlled by the Fire Nation would be a nice world to travel. Everywhere except the Fire Nation there would be soldiers patrolling and people being afraid and exploited. I just wonder if I would even be allowed in those places, since my banishment also contained the colonies in the Earth Kingdom."

"Oh…" I breathed. "The only place for you then would be one of the Air Temples," I explained hesitatingly.

He let out a dry laugh, which barely was a laugh at all, sounding more like a sarcastic snort.

"Or the Northern Water Tribe," I mused more, since it still wasn't occupied by the Fire Nation.

He kind of made a disgusted sound.

"Hey, what's causing that reaction?" I snarled. "You got something against waterbenders?" I asked challengingly, putting my hands on my hips. Normally I didn't talk like that, but sometimes it was fitting for the tone I intended.

Zuko's look at me was as dry as dry can be. "Only that almost every one of them always tried to kill me when I met one. But I've got something against the North Pole because it itself tried to kill me several times."

"What do you mean?" I asked in confusion. Was the North Pole maybe shaped in a spirit? Did the North Pole have its own spirit? Like a guardian spirit? I grew rather excited at that thought.

"I almost died several times there, that's all."

I frowned. "How often did you almost die?"

"I'm pretty sure the number is higher than what I know," he responded, still sounding dry, but to me it sounded incredibly sad.

I didn't want to pretend anymore that we were having a lighter conversation. "Zuko?" I whispered.

He turned his head to look questioningly at me, leaning against the wall now, too, to be closer to me.

There wasn't much space between our faces anymore.

"Hm?"

"If Azula wants to imprison you, won't you even consider hiding?"

He shortly closed his eyes. "I… I will consider it", he finally said, his gaze fully locked with mine, and I again marvelled at how golden and pale his eyes were. They were almost yellow and I felt reminded of the sun.

"Thanks," I said, lifting one corner of my mouth.

He nodded. "Does that mean you're actually concerned about me?"

I narrowed my eyes. "I just don't want you in prison. But that goes for a lot of people."

He chuckled throatily, and I frowned in confusion. "What?"

"Well, I had thought the same once about you," he explained.

"Really?"

"Yup."

I took a deep breath, since I knew I had to tell him now what he had to be craving to hear. "Okay, listen. Erm, thanks for telling me all this. I still don't understand everything, but it's not as frustrating anymore. And if you're going to stay here, you are hereby permitted to visit me. I don't know how long it will take me to trust you, but I'll try. I'll let you know when the moment is there," I said, feeling blood rush into my cheeks, but didn't understand why this happened now.

His gaze seemed to intensify, but then it softened a lot after he had blinked. He almost smiled with his eyes which made me warm and comfortable like the rays of the sun. "Thank you," he whispered softly.

I smiled, and couldn't help but think that he looked very handsome right now. With the shadows dancing over his skin and his head leaning against the wall, and I really liked how he was looking at me, and he parted his lips, and I blinked.

What?

Had I actually just began to think about Zuko in a…

I couldn't even end this thought. No, not ever again would I think about him like this. This was already complicated as it was, and we were only friends. After all, that's what I had told him.

Sighing, I turned my head around, staring ahead again. _"At least for now." _That's what I had said to him. And maybe, years from now, of course, when all this craziness and occupation thing had settled down, and I would know I could trust him, then…

"You know I have been wondering what you have thought about that kiss," he suddenly said.

Irritation washed over me, when I turned to look at him again.

He hadn't changed his position a lot, and his narrow eyes seemed to gleam in amusement.

"Wh-what kiss?"

"Ours? Me kissing you?" His voice sounded curious, and I couldn't detect any hidden affection feelings, not even in his face.

"Oh, that one," I said as coolly as I could manage.

I felt him move slightly, as his chest tensed. "Wh… Had there been others?"

"You were not my first kiss, if that's what you want to know," I declared, putting a sniff into my voice and crossing my arms. Right now, I was really glad Renshu had kissed me almost four months ago.

"So? You weren't mine, either," he murmured, but sounded annoyed.

I had to fight a smile to spread on my lips.

"It wasn't bad," I said. "Your kiss. It was a good kiss, I guess. Surely other girls would have gotten weak knees at being kissed like this." I was fortunate not having to look at him while I said this. The blush on my cheeks was just so embarrassing, although I didn't think Zuko would actually notice it. Despite his flame it was far too dark in here and my darker skin hid some of the red colour, too, and besides, Zuko didn't seem so perceptive to the mood of girls.

"Huh," he said, sounding as if he had expected something else.

"What? Did you want me to say it was overwhelming and amazing?" I scoffed, and shot a quick glance at him, raising one eyebrow.

His eyes narrowed slightly. "No, it's not that. I was just thinking. So, what was it you did like?"

I grimaced. "Why do you want to know?"

"For honing my skills," he responded, his face completely stern.

I stared at him for some seconds, before I burst out into laughter. "Oh! For… what? Hah ha hah ha haaahhh!" I leaned forward, away from him again, and continued to chuckle, being aware of the glares he was sending my way.

When I calmed down, I still had to grin, when I looked at him.

"What is so funny? It's only logical to want to become better in anything, is it not?" he snapped, scowling, and I snorted in amusement again.

"It still sounds funny," I told him.

"Well, maybe you don't care about it, but I want to be a good kisser in my first relationship!" he snapped again.

I sighed deeply. "Alright. I understand. And how exactly are you planning on becoming such a great kisser?" I teased, smiling.

He blinked, and the blush I had waited for quickly spread on his cheeks. "Er… by training?"

I slightly frowned, while widening my eyes. "Uh-huh. With girls?"

"Well, I'm not going to kiss any other human being," he explained stiffly, and I almost had to laugh at his expression, wouldn't I think now of Zuko kissing other girls to 'hone his skills'. I didn't like the thought at all.

"So you're just going to kiss girls to 'hone your skills' until you decide one is good enough to become the girlfriend you will please with those amazing kisses?" I asked dryly, but couldn't do anything against the slightly irritated tone to my voice.

His head jerked up. "Of course not! I'm not a gigolo! I would only ever kiss girls I would want as a girlfriend!"

I blinked in surprise, since this meant that he had wanted me as his girlfriend. Well, I had suspected him wanting me in some relationship, but not something with those concrete names on it.

His cheeks didn't flush this time. Instead he leaned forward, too, closer to me, and raising his eyebrow. "Why did you sound so hostile? Did the thought make you jealous?"

My eyes widened slightly, before I quickly laughed. "Ha, jealous? Why would I be jealous? I just think it wouldn't be… fair on the… girls." I nodded to enforce my statement and make him believe me.

"Ah." He nodded once and leaned back on the rest, with there was still a trace of a smirk on his lips.

"Urgh. Don't you dare believe I was jealous!," I growled and scratched the back of my hand.

He let out a satisfied snort. "I don't believe anything. I know you were."

"Was not!"

"Were, too!"

"Was not!"

"Were, too!"

"Was not!"

"Were, too!"

"Was not!"

"Were. Too."

I narrowed my eyes as narrow as possible, while my nostrils were flaring, and I prepared for the ultimate snarl. "Was not!" I put a hissing sound under the words and hoped to sound threatening.

"Were, too," he growled, stretching the vowels a bit.

I groaned. "Was not. And you're very childish for a prince," I quickly added, before he could say 'Were, too'.

"You started it!" he snapped, leaning closer to my face. "And I am not childish, I am just stubborn!"

"Ts." I wrinkled my nose in annoyance and looked in another direction to hide my smile. I liked being like this with him. Childish and uncaring. I bit on my lower lip to make the smile disappear, but a thought popped into my head. "I like it when you're like this," I said quietly.

He didn't respond for several moments, but I didn't dare to turn around and look at him, although my curiosity was almost killing me. Waiting for these seconds was pure torture.

"I like being like this with you," came his hesitant and shy answer.

My cheeks tightened again, because I couldn't fight against the grin on my face now. I knew Zuko was mostly just a boy, but I still felt pretty cool, knowing the prince of the Fire Nation liked to be with me. After all, there were millions of people in this world, but only one like him, and he liked me. This made me happy, and at that moment I felt sure that we would become friends again.

"Good," I whispered, then I turned around and showed him my grin. "Because you will have to be like this more often, when you'll come visiting me."

He looked slightly amused at my choice of words. "I will have to?"

"Yup."

He sighed dramatically and slumped against the rest. "Why don't I ever get a break from being ordered around?"

An amused and surprised chuckle escaped me, since he behaved like I would have never thought he could. "Better get used to it. I also promise not to give you cruel orders."

He lifted his head, raising one eyebrow. "Uh-huh?"

"M-hm. Yeah, I won't make you lose while re-enacting a scene from a play all the time," I suggested, hoping that my slight stab to his sister wasn't too much or too soon.

He actually let out a little laugh, which still sounded a bit like a chuckle. "That is very generous of you."

"Hm-mh," I chuckled, and couldn't help the yawn which immediately forced my lips apart.

Zuko looked a bit startled, staring at me.

"What?" I asked throatily, sniffing and feeling tiredness dulling my senses.

"You just… didn't hold your hand before your mouth," he pointed out, and I blinked, now holding a hand before my mouth.

"Why? Do I have something between my teeth?" Immediately I let my tongue stroke over my teeth, searching for a piece of food.

"No!"

My tongue stilled its movements.

"It's just that you reminded me of a roan antelope lion."

I blinked. "What?"

Zuko rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I was once in a zoo in the Fire Nation. They had animals from the Earth Kingdom savanna there, too. And the roan antelope lion rested the whole day. They seemed lazy and yawned a lot."

I glared poutingly at him. "So I seem lazy to you because I yawned?"

"No! Uh, your mouth just opened very wide," he quickly said, seeming embarrassed at having to explain this.

"Ah," I said, nodding. "Well then…" Another yawn hindered me from finishing my sentence.

"Oh, you seem tired."

"Really? I get up at seven o'clock every morning, and normally I already sleep at this time!" I complained.

Zuko raised an eyebrow. "I get up at half past five these days."

"WHAT?" I shrieked. "How… what? Why?"

Frowning he shrugged. "Because of the sun. The sunrise wakes me up. In the Fire Nation it's always around seven. Being close to the equator this time doesn't really change a lot during the year, which is really practical. I hated sleeping until nine o'clock, when there was winter in the Earth Kingdom," he spit out, as if winter was some disgusting illness.

I snorted in amusement. "Yeah, that's why I prefer the summer," I explained.

"You do?" he asked in a surprised manner.

I nodded. "Yeah. The high temperatures, the sun, fruits, green leaves, and the sun. "

Zuko seemed pleased with my answer, because he smiled lightly, and leaned back again, crossing his arms.

Stretching another yawn forced my mouth open. "Zuko, I have to go to bed," I murmured, rubbing my eyes.

I looked at him, frowning.

He nodded and got up in one fluid motion.

Wow, I wouldn't be able to do this anymore with how heavy I felt at the moment. Being tired always made me feel like a pot of potato pumpkin mash. Like I was made of mash. And my brain started to transform into mash, too, which was why, when I got too tired, I found everything highly amusing and giggled at everything in a high pitched voice.

A smile spread on my lips, as I looked up at Zuko, my eye lids heavy.

"What are you waiting for? Get up!" He looked at me in an irritating way.

I pouted. "Won't you help me?"

He rolled his eyes and extended his not flame holding hand to me. Grabbing it I gave myself a little push and stood up, standing suddenly very close to Zuko. My eyes widened as I noticed his scent and could feel his body heat. Wow, I had so not expected being this close to him now! Blinking I wondered if I should take a step back, or look up to look him in the eye.

But then I had to yawn again.

A small part of my brain registered that I was lucky that he was a head taller than me, because otherwise I would have yawned into his face, and I hadn't brushed my teeth after dinner. But like this my yawn only hit his throat.

He still took a step back, looking uncomfortable. I turned around, marching for the stairs.

"We'll have to be very quiet," I whispered, while I stood at the door, concentrating to feel where dad, Nanuk, and San were currently.

"M-hm."

"Okay. The coast is clear," I declared, and opened the door quietly.

The hallway was dark, which seemed strange to me, since I wasn't very used to see it like this. The carpet under my feet felt very soft, and I widened my eyes to take more light in. Those dark obscure edges from the door frames and drawers were not easy to see, looking all grey to me.

We carefully made it to the door in the living room. I was walking on tiptoes, while Zuko looked like some kind of wildcat the way he was moving completely silently.

Looking around again I noticed everything was fine and carefully opened the door to the garden. It was a bit lighter in here, since the moonlight shone in through the windows and door. The warm air of a summer night stroked my skin, and I had to smile a bit. I loved those nights, also when mum and I had practised waterbending during these times. It had been cooler than at daytime, but still warm enough to make us sweating after some time.

"Thanks, Kilara," Zuko spoke up behind me.

Frowning I turned around, cocking my head to the side in confusion. "For what?"

A soft smile spread on his lips, as he lifted his hand to rub his neck. "For talking and listening to me. And that you'll give me a chance."

Returning his smile I felt the urge to hug him, since we were something like friends, but I told myself that it was just my sleepy body which wanted hugs.

Next time. I'd give him a hug next time.

"I think it'll be worth it," I answered truthfully, and felt good at seeing his eyes light up at my words.

Nodding he stepped around me, and left the room.

"Are you going to stay here all night?" I asked.

He only lifted an eyebrow, which caused me to roll my eyes. But somehow it suddenly pleased me knowing that he wanted to make sure I was safe. I tried to fight the blush, when I crossed my arms under my breasts. "Okay, but remember, don't move too much!"

Zuko bowed to me, and I noticed that he again used the Earth Kingdom style. I was very hard telling if it was a sarcastic bow. "Of course not. You'll need sleep, after all." He sounded somehow amused, so I had to narrow my eyes at him.

I nodded. "Right. Good night."

"Sleep well," he whispered with that raspy voice, smiling, and turned around and darted through the garden, quickly climbing the wall to the neighbour house as if he was some kind of ninja.

I watched him disappear and took a deep breath. Smiling I closed the door again and felt a certainty in my heart that this had been right. My doubts were still there, but I was positive they would fade with time.

* * *

_Yeah, I know. Nothing really happened in this chapter except for two teenagers chatting. But I think it was important to come to the end of this chapter, becaue it is important that Kilara is giving Zuko another chance. _

_In the comics Zuko tells Azula that he doesn't want to leave for the Fire Nation with her, but it is never shown why. I also never understood it, but this is his mindset I'll have to work to, so I'm actually making up his reasons, but I think they are understandable, regarding Zuko's little uncertainty-about-father's-acceptance-talks to Azula. I also wanted to explain why he doesn't want to go to the Fire Nation for those who might not have read the comic. If you haven't, then you should really do it, you can actually find it on Instagram, together with every other ATLA comic! _

_Thanks for reading! I hope you'll review!_

**_Answers to reviews:_**

_To _uchihaNaruto247: _I understand, but I actually like it when that happens to me, because then there's more to read, and as you said: fun! Thanks, I've actually been thinking about this for quite some time. The synchronisation of the series in my language still uses 'Oh my god', when they aren't actually saying it in English, so that was another reason for me to search for an alternative. It might have worked in the series, and I know I wrote I'd try to make it everything as canon as possible, but prose requires exclamations like this, and I, at least, wanted to try to make them sound canon. And honestly, "monkey feathers" and "holy hog monkeys"just doesn't do it for me, if it's not Aang or the pirat captain saying it._

_To _ .TurtleDuck: _No problem, I really like the long reviews:D Yeah, I only noticed this, while I was writing it. I never thought about how the people from Ba Sing Se would feel because of this. As for the Air Nomad genocide, I'm sure Ba Sing Se heard about it after it had happened, but during these one hundred years and then due to the conspiracy this knowledge was kept from the common people. One reason for Professor Zei to know about it could be because he already left Ba Sing Se several times to find Wan Shi Tong's library, and some people from outside of Ba Sing Se might have told him. Or, and that's what I'm thinking, is that the Dai Li keeps the useful and powerful people well informed of anything which is going on outside of the walls. I was actually always wondering it the generals had known, since they seemed to be more on the side of the King. The one who Sokka slapped on the wall in 'The Drill' (I forgot his name) probably knew about the war, since he didn't freak out over the fact that the Fire Nation was attacking all of a sudden. And because of the Siege of Ba Sing Se a lot people had to know about the war, too. The Dai Li could have never handled this alone, so I think they allow certain other people to know. I actually think that only the people from the upper ring whose job doesn't require this knowledge, same people from the middle ring, wives, children, and the King don't know what was going on. __And I'm sorry this part with Kilara telling Zuko about her bloodbending was so short, and didn't reveal much. I really planned for her to tell him everthing, and I wanted it to be the main topic of this chapter, but while writing I noticed that Kilara is not ready yet to tell him this. She doesn' trust him fully, and that's why she wouldn't tell him._


	15. Chapter 15

_Hi everyone! Oh my, it's been ages since I last updated this story, and I'm very sorry for it! After my stay in China I had a very bad cold and was unable to do anything. But now I finished this chapter, and I'm excited to post it!  
_

_This is the first chapter, in which I am describing scenes from the comic "_Going Home Again" _from the comic _"Avatar The Last Airbender - The Lost Adventures"_. In this short comic it is shown how Zuko and Mai became a couple. I will retell the scenes, but there will be other scenes I added in between, and I hope that the people who read the comic won't find it too boring, because I actually often find retellings boring. I'm only using the scenes from the comic, because I think not everyone here read it. Otherwise I would skip them, like I did with a lot of scenes from the series, because I think you already know them. I will name the chapters which are set during the time span of the comic after the comic, thus "Going Home Again - Part One". _

_I hope you'll enjoy reading the next chapter! If that's the case, then please review!_

_I do not own Avatar The Last Airbender, nor its characters. I only own my OCs. _

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen**

**Going Home Again - Part One **

_**Zuko**_

I increased my firebending in the next days, which I was sure Azula knew about, though she didn't ask for the reason. Knowing her she probably thought she already knew it anyway.

But as far as I knew Azula had no idea where I went every night, and why I always slept two hours right after the sun set. It was almost impossible to get any sleep before, because of the sun, but also because I was flanked mostly by Mai and Ty Lee. This obviously meant that Azula didn't feel the need to hide my surveillance anymore. I had asked her what this meant, but she had just shrugged and told me that Mai and Ty Lee were her friends, not servants, and if they wanted to be around me it had nothing to do with her. My sister had never lied so badly before.

I wasn't really angry because of this, just a bit scared, since I feared Mai and Ty Lee could find out where I disappeared to every night, and annoyed, because Ty Lee was always in a good mood, no matter what happened. It was as if she was totally ignorant to the reality of the war and to how uncomfortable she made the Earth Kingdom people in the palace feel. Her friendliness was so cheery that the people felt as if it was fake, and always trembled in fear, when she talked to them. And it had to be very obvious, for even I noticed this.

Mai's apathy seemed to make them feel a bit safer, although I really had no idea why. It was slightly unnerving, but when she was only with me, she seemed a bit more open. In any case I preferred her apathy a lot to Azula's calculating looks, Ty Lee's cheery smile, or even father's disappointed looks.

It still hurt, though, knowing that I would never be able to gain his acceptance anymore.

Having Mai and Ty Lee watching me firebending was also very unnerving. I tried to shrug it away and not to care about them, but it was close to impossible. While Mai seemed bored, Ty Lee looked at me very eagerly with a lot of interest. Somehow none of those behaviours pleased me. I didn't think that Ty Lee was interested in _me_, because she actually seemed to be interested in everything. After all, she got big eyes and a slack jaw almost every five minutes.

I was asking them every time if they didn't want to train a bit either, for I knew they were highly skilled warriors and clearly also needed practice, right? But they always said no, that they were fine with watching me, which I didn't like, since I had always hated it when people not participating my training had watched me. It always reminded me of the days in the Fire Nation palace, when every move I had made had been highly criticised.

Getting almost no sleep every night I always slept for a few hours right after the sun set, which was normally right after dinner. For some reason Kilara's family always ate later, but because of my sleeping time, I always was at her house, when everyone was already in their rooms.

I didn't stay outside anymore, since Kilara always let me in, and we always went to the basement. Her family wouldn't hear us there, she said.

It was hard keeping this up, since the sleep deficit was taking its toll on me. But I also knew that I would only have to live like this for one more week. According to Azula it would be when they'd leave the Earth Kingdom anyway. And after that I could probably be freer in choosing ways of spending my free time. It would surely not seem strange that I met with a girl, for it was normal for a boy my age to do so, although it wasn't like that. But nobody had to know this.

Seeing Kilara became better and a lot easier for me, since she started to open a bit up again. I suspected she was still waiting for my sister to leave the city, until she would be a bit more open, and I couldn't wait to see this happening. Sometimes I still caught myself thinking of kissing her, or feeling attracted to her, wanting to lean in and be closer, but I managed not to act on these urges. It wasn't easy not liking her, since every time I saw her she told me something new about her which I would find fascinating. When I wanted to tell her something she always listened, and I could even talk to her about some insecurities I had or questions which had been bothering me. I could even tell she had her opinion, but she didn't press me to think like her, which I was very grateful for. If she would have done so, I don't know what would have happened to my already fragile mental health. She was always understanding and comforting to me, even though I probably didn't make it easy for her not to yell at me. She managed to make me laugh, and I started more and more to feel again like a normal boy around her. Just like it had been before, and I revelled in it, although she hadn't told me more about this secret ability of hers. I figured she didn't trust me enough just yet.

Every day I longed for Azula and her royal household to leave. Right after the Fire Nation had conquered Ba Sing Se, they had come, too, and were now always near Azula's quarters, so that she could pester them with washing her hair and painting her nails.

It was a wonder to me how she had time to be treated, when she had to organise everything in this city now. But then again, it had always escaped my mind how Azula managed to do a lot of things.

I had also been close to Uncle's cell a few times, just to check that he wasn't ill or starving. As far as I had seen he was okay, but at my fifth visit I had been seen by a soldier who had demanded to know who I was.

I had rounded on him and had snapped that he didn't have to ask, if they would guard this prison well enough.

He had recognised me, his eyes growing wide in fear, and he had immediately apologised and had promised to guard the prison better in the future. I had been severely pissed at being seen and had just snarled "Don't promise, just do it!".

But even though I had been seen it had not changed the fact that I had managed to go there every day. Mai and Ty Lee had only been okay with waiting at the entrance, because I had gone all mad prince at them. Ty Lee had looked sad, but Mai's facial expression hadn't changed at all.

I pretended to just do my duty as prince and see if the prisons were safe, but I suspected Azula to know exactly why I went to the prisons, although I didn't really care. I never talked to Uncle, so there was nothing she could see as wrong.

Everything with Uncle was fine, too. I had checked if he got enough food, and even tea from time to time, and I was actually positive that this wouldn't change. Most guards seemed to be cautious around him and did everything to keep him happy. My guess was that they feared him a bit for being the Fire Lord's brother and the Dragon of the West. It was good that they still had so much respect towards members of the royal family. But it was highly annoying thinking of how no one from the Fire Nation had respected me during my banishment, and I had not even been a traitor. It just made me a bit more furious at Uncle.

This anger rose inside of me, when I actually heard the two guards in front of Uncle's cell saying things like this one day.

"I can't believe General Iroh is a prisoner now. A member of the royal family – Fire Lord Ozai's own brother!"

Frowning I looked at the ground, feeling a bit of the same disbelief I had felt days ago, right after Uncle's betrayal. It was still beyond me how I hadn't been able to see that coming, whereas Azula had. Hadn't I been the one who had spent more time with Uncle?

"I know. I served under his command during the first siege. He was a great leader and a great man…," the other guard replied.

My sadness vanished quickly, being replaced by anger. He was a damn traitor, and they still spoke so highly of him? What had he done? Bewitched them somehow? Why couldn't they see that he was only a lazy old man to whom loyalty meant nothing?!

Not able to suppress my anger I rounded the corner, glaring at the guards, my hands curled to fists. "You two don't know what you're talking about. General Iroh is a traitor to his country!" I snarled at them, breathing heavily.

How could they be such idiots?

"Please forgive us, Prince Zuko. I…" one of them started to apologise, but I wasn't in the mood to hear those meaningless excuses. They weren't meant seriously, after all. For some strange reason they still admired Uncle, or at least what he had done in the past. But everything I felt was frustration, anger and betrayal.

Sparks licked at my veins, begging for release, as one guard began to beg for mercy, and I shot a fire ball at the guards' feet. They quickly jumped back, as I growled "Get back to work!"

Nodding they stood straight again, pressing their lips together.

I watched them with narrowed eyes, but decided not to waste my time with people like them, when I turned around and left the prison again. Generally speaking I hated it down there. It was cold and dark and very arid. When I sneaked around it was easy to forget about these things, since I had to concentrate on other things, but just walking down there as the person I was didn't give me any excuse not to feel the cold, notice the disgusting smell or hate the artificial light. They used glowing crystals instead of fire down here and I hated this light in the darkness which wasn't fire. It gave me a creepy feeling and just felt unnatural to me.

"So, is everything fine down there?" Ty Lee wanted to know, looking up at me, as I exited the prison doors.

Glaring at her I just shrugged and stalked past her and Mai. I really wasn't in the mood to talk to them now. I'd rather just burn them off my everyday life, but this was not going to happen.

Ty Lee was also the one who didn't get my "I-don't-want-to-talk"-look, since she kept talking. "You know, I always wonder how you can go down there so often. This is such a bad and frightening place, I don't know how you can do it. I personally hate prisons, it is so small and dark and just being down there would probably trigger my claustrophobia. Have I ever mentioned that I have claustrophobia? One time, at the circus, there was this one number…"

And to be fair, it was mostly Ty Lee who annoyed me, and not Mai.

I threw a side glance at her calm facial expression. Her hands were folded in her sleeves and her eyelids a little cast down, which gave her environment the impression of boredom. By observing her I had noticed that she wasn't as bored as she pretended to be. Her eyes always had this perceptive sparkling, as if she could see through all and everything. It was hard to see, since her eyelids were always cast down. Sometimes I wondered if she could also see through me. Just like now as her gaze turned towards me. She didn't raise an eyebrow, but somehow her face looked like she would.

Fighting a blush at being caught staring I quickly turned around and stared ahead. Why had I stared anyway? And why was that embarrassing? It wasn't. I could look at her anytime I wanted. It wasn't as if I had thought about her _that _way. I had only observed her.

But my insides were still tickling a bit, as I curled my hands to fists and started walking faster.

"Whoa, Zuko! Where are we going?" Ty Lee wanted to know, jogging a bit to keep up with me.

"I need to see my sister," I answered, clenching my jaw. I needed to know when they would leave!

My plan was staying here and staying friends with Kilara, and maybe becoming more with her, so I surely didn't need any other feelings for any other girls!

"Oh, I don't know if that's such a great idea. She'll be in the middle of very important things, like preparation and organisation and stuff. We should better not disturb her, she has so many things to do, after all. It's truly astonishing how much she can handle at once!"

When glaring at the empty hallway and gritting my teeth while tensing my arm muscles didn't help anymore to vent my anger my head snapped around to Ty Lee, and I opened my mouth.

"It seems to be important for Zuko. Azula will understand, Ty Lee," Mai cut in, before I could say anything, which was probably fortunate, since I was sure I would have said very nasty things to Ty Lee. And even if she got on my nerves she was still a good person.

"And she's not that busy anymore. The important things have all already been discussed," Mai added and walked past us, throwing me a side glance, which I wished I knew the meaning of.

But I just nodded, hoping she understood I was thanking her for stopping me from snapping at Ty Lee.

"Oh, yeah, you're right," Ty Lee agreed and cartwheeled past me to walk next to Mai. She started talking to her about a rainbow she had seen a few days ago, and I clinked myself out of their conversation, until we reached the throne hall.

When the guards opened the door for me, Mai and Ty Lee stayed behind. I had got used to that after two days that whenever Azula and I would talk to each other they would excuse themselves with something.

"I've got to brush my hair," Ty Lee announced and tugged at Mai's sleeve.

She glared at her friend. "I'll sharpen my arrows."

I only nodded, knowing I would see them at lunch, and entered the throne room.

I still didn't like it one bit more than at the beginning. It was too extravagant with too many jewels, diamonds and gold everywhere. I was aware that there was also gold in the Fire Nation palace, but we used it to refer to the sun and the fire, so it was a symbol of power, not of wealth.

Eight Dai Li agents were standing in front of and next to Azula who sat casually on the throne and looked like she hadn't done anything important just now.

"Zuzu," she drawled, and I couldn't help but narrowing my eyes.

I guess old habits die hard.

"What a pleasant surprise. I've finished the arrangements for our trip back to the Fire Nation – we'll be gone by tomorrow night," she told me.

I inwardly sighed, but now that I knew my sister would leave me tomorrow I didn't feel the excitement and happiness I had thought I would. No, some parts of me felt… sad. Like my relationship to Azula had improved over the last days, and I didn't want to miss the company of my baby sister.

"But you're the leader of Ba Sing Se now. You would really give up control of this whole city?" I asked, and almost immediately cursed myself for asking. Just because of one small brotherish feeling towards her I was threatening my plan and future, because I couldn't think before opening my mouth!

An amused, but somehow also dangerous smile tugged at her lips, as she stood up and walked over to me, but remained at the top of the stairs to look down at me, crossing her arms. "Don't worry, dear brother. I've found the _perfect _person to leave in charge. Someone who will execute the Fire Lord's will mercilessly and without question."

I raised my eyebrow, being completely sure that she was the only person in the world who would actually do this. Except she had threatened someone hard enough to agree to do so. Which was something I would believe at once she'd do.

I only noticed the woman clad in Earth Kingdom noble's clothes next to me, when Azula pointed at her. How had I not heard her coming? Maybe she was trained in stealth, just like the Dai Li? Then again, the Dai Li were only men, since they had the same mind-set as this backwater Northern Water Tribe about women. It must have shocked them when they had noticed that a girl had got them to betray their nation. I couldn't stand them.

"Supreme bureaucratic administrator Joo Dee!" Azula announced.

The woman plastered a wide smile on her face with an open mouth. "The Earth Nation humbly accepts this opportunity to serve the great and powerful Fire Nation. Care for a mint?" She held up a box with bonbons in my face.  
I slowly took a few steps back, not only feeling creeped out, but also quite certain that she was one of those brainwashed Dai Li agents.

Azula glanced at Joo Dee, smirking. "Ba Sing Se will be safe in her care, and we can personally deliver our uncle, the traitor, back to the Fire Nation."

I took another step back, taking a deep breath. If she would leave tomorrow, I'd better tell her now.

"You don't need me for that. I'll stay here," I stated quietly.

Azula made a tsk sound and rolled her eyes in annoyance, lifting one hand and glaring at me in a lecturing way. "Zuko, now that we've defeated the Avatar, Father will welcome you as hero. You're the Fire Prince again and you'll have your old life back."

My nostrils flared at her words. My old life… It would never be the way it was before. Uncle was a traitor and I wouldn't have anyone at the palace without him.

Besides, father wouldn't possibly welcome me as a hero. He would not give me my honour back, after _Azula_ _killed _the Avatar.

At the back of my mind something seemed to want to tell me something about the Avatar's death, but it felt wrong, so I shoved it aside, not wanting to hear it or think about it.

Snarling I turned around, heading for the door. I couldn't stand being in Azula's presence right now.

"I already said I'm not going!" I yelled while storming out.

_**Kilara**_

Breakfast had been torture today. Nanuk still hadn't talked to me, and when he looked at me, I could always see that he was still angry.

I didn't get how he did not calm down at all, for our argument was almost two weeks ago. I would never be able to mad at him for so long. I would miss him too much, and this longing would become so bad that I couldn't do anything else than to forgive him. Normally I didn't like to give in or to be the one searching for forgiveness, but I tried to speak to Nanuk several times, but he always put me off, or left because he had something to do. Once, he told me that he couldn't just believe my words of apology without any proof. That had been when I had groaned angrily and stomped off, since I had always excused me in the last two weeks, always told someone where I went, or left notes. If this wasn't proof enough, then I couldn't help Nanuk. I would not beg for forgiveness! Once I had even put some on Nanuk's door, his desk, his bed and on his favourite fruit juice in the kitchen. That had been me being pissed.

Dad was caught up in his own world, of course, reading some super important world changing scrolls while trying to eat his rice porridge. He dropped a lot of it on his robe.

The only thing which made me smile a bit was the memory of Zuko's visit last night. It had been close to perfect, just what I had needed of him to be able to plant the seed of trust in my heart again. We had sat both on the ends of the chaise longue, our feet lying over each other, and we had talked a bit, some heavy stuff like Zuko's childhood, but also lighter stuff like how my day had been.

My thoughts were mostly about him, how nice talking to him had been last night, and how great it would be when his sister would leave I would know that he had told the truth about staying here, and not bothering to be a complete prince again. I just hoped Zuko could get Nanuk to like him. Or Nanuk could get himself to forgive me and try to understand me.

I had decided not trying to tell Nanuk some part of the secret without actually revealing it. Even if I just said 'Mum taught me a special waterbending technique which no one except our family in the Northern Water Tribe knows about and it kind of makes me invincible, but it's bad, and I hate to use it, so I don't, but it has been my ace up my sleeve all this time, and that's why I can do all those reckless and dangerous things' he wouldn't believe me. Not without a demonstration and I would never, nor could I ever do this to him.

The thought if Nanuk was right and I was self-centred entered my mind, as I saw Denzai walking into the classroom, and I remembered which bombshell I had dropped on him last week. I hadn't seen him since, since he hadn't come to class, and I had actually been too scared to visit him. I had been so afraid that he would be mad and would send me away.

He looked as if he hadn't eaten nor slept, and I immediately felt responsible. But before I could talk to him Professor Chiu entered the room and everyone went quiet.

It was hard concentrating on the lesson for me, since I kept glancing at Denzai, wondering how he felt and what he was thinking. Did he curse me for having told him the truth? Was he angry at me? Was he still too scared to think about a rebellion?

What had he done all this week? Had he needed that much time to process everything I had told him?

When the bell rang signalling the break I immediately turned around to look at Denzai. "Hey," I whispered.

He shot me a glance and a small smile tugged at his lips. "Hi."  
"How are you feeling?" I asked, leaning forward, my left arm lying on my table.

Denzai sighed and leaned against his rest, closing his eyes shortly. He bit on his lower lip and then shrugged. "I don't know. Okay I guess."

"Denzai…" I began, but didn't know how to proceed, so I only stared at him, my face compassionately twisted.

"Don't worry. I'm okay. I don't regret that you told me everything," he said, and I let out a breath, which I hadn't known I had been holding.

"So… we're still friends?" I still wanted to know.

His eyes widened when he turned towards me. "Of course we are!" he exclaimed, almost a little too loudly. "Yes, we're friends," he added in a quieter voice.

I smiled and nodded. "I'm so sorry that I made you uncomfortable the other day. I shouldn't have expected so much and should have tried to be more considerate of your feelings."

He shook his head. "No, really. It was okay. I, uh… I told my parents I would be home later today, because actually, I wanted to talk to you, but maybe not at my house…"

"Yeah, sure, totally!" I nodded quickly and felt a large wave of relief washing through me because Denzai was not angry at me.

"What was that with Nanuk about, the other day? Was everything alright?" Denzai asked, sounding concerned.

I sighed and smiled at him. The fact that he asked touched me, since it meant he really cared about me, but I really didn't want to talk or think about that now. "Um, no, not really. I did something stupid, and he's still mad at me."

Denzai frowned, his eyes glinting of compassion. "Oh, what happened?"  
"I don't want to talk about it. He's just holding a grudge, but he'll calm down eventually," I said, turning away and facing the blackboard again. I wished I could lay my head down on the table, but that wouldn't be proper behaviour.

"I'm sorry," Denzai said.

I glanced at him and shrugged. "Thanks."

After class we walked home together, talking about the content of today's lesson, when we both actually craved to talk about something else, something more urgent and more important. But we could be heard from someone, so it wasn't safe to talk about rebellions.

It felt like torture to me, having to talk about something else, which did not interest me in this moment at all. I couldn't wait to get home and to be able to talk freely.

After we went into my house I went into the kitchen to get us some fruit and something to drink. I drank a glass of water already in the kitchen and poured me another one, before bringing our snack to my room.

"So?" I asked Denzai eagerly and sat down on my bed.

He came to sit next to me and looked at the fruit plate.

I handed it to him. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

He ate a piece of mango and then looked up. "Are you sure we can talk freely in here?"

My eyes widened. "Of course. None of us is loyal to the Fire Nation!"

He nodded, sighing in relief. "Alright." Then he bent down to pull a notebook and a pen out of his bag. He sat up straight and looked me in the eyes, a determined glint in them. "Let's plan this rebellion of yours."

I stared at him wide eyed, enthusiasm and fear racing through me.

What?

I opened my mouth. "Uh… What?"

Denzai frowned in confusion. "You said you wanted to plan a rebellion!"

I blinked. "I… uh… yes. I just didn't… I mean… I'm surprised, that's all! I'm glad you decided to help me with this!" I exclaimed, since to be honest, without him I would have no one who could plan a rebellion with me.

Zuko was my friend, but he would never do that. Nanuk didn't talk to me, and dad… I don't think he cared that much for the war, as long as nothing bad happened to us.

But Denzai's face fell a bit. " You thought I was too afraid, didn't you?"

"No! You just… You said you wouldn't want to be part of something like this," I explained, scratching my collar bones nervously.

He grimaced. "Right. Well, I thought about it, and I think you're right. Unfortunately, I don't know anyone who is a good fighter who I would trust with something like that, but I figured that we should concentrate on the lower ring."

I raised an eyebrow, feeling very sceptical. "The people in the lower ring are thugs and poor, ill, or uneducated people! You cannot be serious!"

Denzai crossed his arms and looked at me in a lecturing way. "Just because they are at the bottom of society doesn't mean that the bottom of humanity is living there. Just hear me out, okay?"

Rolling my eyes I nodded and leaned back against the wall.

"Okay. Well, most of the people in the lower ring are actually refugees. Sure, they might not possess anything, but they know first handed how cruel the Fire Nation is. They would do anything not to live under their regime. Some of them probably lost important people to the war. Generally speaking, we could even get a few good fighters from the lower ring. Their style might not be traditional, but they survived on the streets with that. Another point is their number. The lower ring is the one with the highest population. There are thrice as much people there as the Fire Nation army consists of! And we will definitely find good benders in the lower ring! Maybe even waterbenders from the North. Perhaps some scholars or traders who had been forced to leave their normal route. I've also looked for a hideout. You said that water would be the perfect hiding place, and I have discovered a large lake under the city."

"What?" I cut in, not able to hold back.

"Yeah! There are secret catacombs under the city! Legend has it that this was the original Ba Sing Se, and that the people lived in the earth. Whole buildings and structures like roads and bridges are still supposed to be down there. Even the water distribution system is said to be still intact, which has to mean that there is water down there. A river or a lake, anything, but the Dai Li won't be able to find it!" He suddenly bit on his lower lip, looking thoughtful. "Although I think a normal hideout would be enough, too. You said it had to be a place where earthbenders couldn't find us, but they actually are not able to sense all this way through earth."

"And if they were near?"

"Still. Earthbenders use their bending to fight, not to analyse their environment. I don't even know if they are able to do that."

"They are," I said quietly. "My brother can feel vibrations in the earth, and I met once a girl who knew where I was and how I moved, even though she was blind."

Denzai blinked at me in surprise. "Well, then a water hideout it is!"

I grinned a bit. "Okay, I see now why you think the lower ring people would be helpful. I agree. But I think we should concentrate on the hideout first, and then we have to do two things at the same time. We have to come up with a good strategy, a plan which cannot fail. If people will have any doubts that it won't work, they won't fight. We have to gather the people, and we have to gain information about the Fire Nation army, we have to get informants in there. And we'll only get them to reveal important information to us, if the chance to fail is small. Only if they know that they won't get executed for treachery, they would be willing to help us," I explained, already having thought about it the whole last week.

"I will talk to Nanuk. He has to help us! I don't know any other earthbenders I would trust with my life," I said. "Well, dad, but he's not much of a fighter."

Denzai nodded. "Alright. Unfortunately, I don't know any of those either. But I went along with my father to several meetings with people who are working for the government. I'm keeping my ears there open for any discontent about the occupation situation."

I nodded. "That's a great idea. I actually got some important things already out of…"

Blinking I frowned deeply and cocked my head to the side.

"What is it?" Denzai asked quickly and looked around frantically. "Did you hear something?"  
"No," I answered quietly, and felt my frown deepen, when I stood up. "Stay here. I'll be right back."  
"Kira…"  
I looked back to smile at him reassuringly, before I slowly walked to the door.

What the tsunami was he doing here? It was way too early for his visit, and why didn't he ring the bell?

I stretched out my senses to feel any people next to him, but he was, in fact, alone. Well, in a radius of thirty metres.

Nervously licking my lips I wiped my sweating hands at my tunic, and felt where dad, Nanuk, and San were currently. Dad and Nanuk weren't even here, which made me sigh in relief.

Sighing I stepped forward and opened the door.

When I saw him I wouldn't have recognised him in the first place. In the last few days I had only seen him in tight black clothes, but now he wore a long green and light brown robe, the attire of the palace servants. He had placed a hat on his head to hide his face in its shadow.

He looked up slowly, as if he wasn't sure it was me standing in front of him. Which was possibly true.

"I didn't know you had gone down on the social ladder that quickly," I said, stepping aside and letting him in.

He shot me a glare, but I saw red blooming on his cheeks. "It was urgent. I couldn't wait until tonight."

"Erm, okay…"

Quick, what would I do now with him? Bring him to my room, and hope that Denzai would leave without mentioning our plan? Or dragging him down to the basement again?

But it was too late.

I felt a little panic, when I noticed Denzai coming closer, and that the way to the basement door would take longer than it would take Denzai to see us.

Sighing I turned around, looking at him who peeped around a corner. He looked a bit sheepish, seeing that I knew he was there, and didn't stay in my room, as I had told him.

"Alright," I muttered, gesturing to Zuko to follow me.

Denzai straightened and placed his hands behind him, looking at me through his eyelashes. I only raised an eyebrow and walked past him to my room.

When they were both inside, I closed the door behind them and turned around, stemming my hands on my hips and taking a deep breath.

"So… as you see I have a visitor, Zuko. What brings you here?"

"Zuko?!" Denzai exclaimed and jumped a bit.

Zuko took of his hat, and raised an eyebrow at me. "You told him?"

I huffed. "He deserved to know. If he would still think you'd be just a tea server he would have greeted you next time he saw you on the street. And you might have been with Azula that time! You told me not to greet you on the street!"

"But you didn't have to tell him the truth! You could have… told him something, anything else!"

"Why? A lie would have been of no use!"

Denzai cleared his throat, causing us to look at him. "Prince Zuko, I assure you that the truth of your identity is safe with me, and that expect you say so yourself no one will ever hear about it from me!"

I rolled my eyes and tugged a strand of hair behind my ear, looking at Denzai's friendly and subordinate expression. Such a crawler.

"Uh… thanks," Zuko said, his voice giving a bit of uncertainty away. "So… you don't hate me or anything?"

Denzai twisted his mouth and looked at Zuko with narrowed, sharp eyes, as if he was searching for anything fowl. Then he suddenly smiled and shrugged. "No, I don't think so. I mean, yeah, your country has done a lot of bad things, and killing the Avatar is something very evil to me, but you didn't do any of these things, right?" His smiled widened, as his eyebrows rose.

Zuko blinked. "Not exactly. But I haven't done anything good, either."

"You lied to that Mingzhu about our identities! I think you did it to protect us," Denzai contented, tapping his toes.

Zuko scratched his neck, looking at me as if he was asking for help.

Well, I would certainly not help him convincing Denzai that he was not a good person! Because he was! Mostly…

"So, now that that's settled, can you please tell me how the climate is in the Fire Nation?! I heard it is situated at the equator, so it has to be warm, right? Is it also humid? Do you have swamps like in the Earth Kingdom? Or a tropical forest" Denzai took a deep breath. "But first, can you please draw me a map of the Fire Nation?"

Zuko looked at him in a very dry manner, and I had the feeling to have to go between them.

"Denzai! We actually own some maps of the Fire Nation, if you want one," I intruded.

His eyes lit up. "Really?"

"Yeah, I can bring you one tomorrow at school," I proposed, smiling and trying to tell him with a look that he should leave. Zuko wouldn't talk openly to me, if he was here.

"That would be great! Thanks, Kira, you're the best!" he exclaimed, clapping his hands together, and grinning. "I don't know what I would do without you!"

I grinned back, feeling pretty cool at his praise.

"Then I think I should leave," he said, pointing at the door. "We'll talk tomorrow, Kira. Prince Zuko, it was a pleasure seeing you," he added, bowing deeply.

It wasn't more than eighty degrees, but I was pretty sure that that was the deepest he could bow.

Zuko seemed not to know how to react to this, blinking and scratching his neck. "Uh, thanks. You, too."

"Bye, Denzai," I said, watching him go and close the door.

Then I turned to Zuko. "Now would you tell me what you're doing here during the day? Anyone could have seen you!"

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, but I've got very good news!" he said, a smile on his face, which made my heart beat faster. Moon, Zuko's smile was so beautiful, every time he used it. Did he know that? He should really smile more often!

Mentally shaking my head I raised my eyebrows. "And what would they be?"

"Azula and her whole royal household will leave tomorrow!" His smile spread even wider as he let himself fall down on my bed.

I stared at him, how he was lying there, eyes closed and a happy smile on his face.

Taking a deep and relieved breath, I felt a smile tug at my lips myself. That was great! Without Azula I would feel so much safer here! The fact that even Zuko seemed to fear her gave me a very bad feeling about her, and I didn't want anything else than her leaving this city. And when she was gone and Zuko stayed and nothing bad would happen I could trust him a bit more!

My heart beat faster, and something fluttered behind my navel as I looked at him.

It would be so much easier seeing him, being his friend, and… Well, the other thing could still wait a bit.

"Wow, you seem to be pretty relieved," I noticed.

"Of course I am," he groaned. "She and her friends are the bane of my existence! It was like this when we were children, and it still hasn't changed! I don't think her friends are annoying on purpose, they simply are like this," he explained a bit further.

"Well, you complained about them quite a lot." Walking over to him I decided to sit down next to his hip.

He hummed in agreement. "Azula told me earlier, but she… she still wants me to come with them."

I tensed immediately, staring ahead at my desk. "She does?"

Zuko sat up, and I felt him leaning in my direction. "Yes. She still said father would welcome me as a hero," he added, his voice full of sarcasm. "As long as I don't see a letter from him or him personally saying that I won't believe it.."

An unsettling feeling spread through my body. "I… I thought you didn't want to go home."

Zuko was quiet for a moment, then he sighed. "Yes, that is true. Except for being the Crown Prince of the Fire Nation and becoming Fire Lord one day there is nothing there for me. It's just… I still don't like the fact I failed my father."

I tensed a bit more, and turned around, opening my mouth, but Zuko was faster.

"Don't say it! This is not about his acceptance! It is just about me proving that I'm not weak, and that I'm capable." He cast down his eyes, staring at my bedsheet, and wiping it nervously with his hands. "My father never thought highly of me, nor did anyone else in the palace. Beside my mother, uncle, and cousin, that is. I'm just saying that I had this picture in my head to prove them wrong. My father, his council, all the nobles, how they would have to change their mind about me, how their contempt could turn to admiration and respect. I just wanted to show them that there is more to me, that I'm not what they thought I was." His voice was raspy again, quiet, something it always did, when he was being serious.

I bit down on my lower lip, completely understanding what he meant. This drive to prove oneself. I felt it, too, whenever I came to school, whenever I saw those appraising and arrogant looks, whenever I started making my homework, I always wanted to be better than any of the others. I always wanted to show them that just because I was a girl it didn't mean I was not smart. I only wanted to show them that I could be just as smart as them, even smarter, that everything they've been expecting was wrong. That they were wrong about me.

Sighing I leaned back, touching Zuko's chest with my left arm. A shiver ran down my spine at the touch, although it was nothing really new. Spending every evening in almost two weeks with him on a chaise longue, I had to become rather accustomed to be close to him.

"I get that," I whispered. "But you might get another chance."

He didn't reply to that, and I knew he didn't believe it.

"If you'll do your job here well, whichever this will be, you might still impress your father. And you might still become Fire Lord in a few decades," I added, since I thought it was important to him. He had told me, after all, that he wanted to use this position to make the living conditions of the Earth Kingdom people easier, safer, and freer under the Fire Nation regime.

"I don't really care about that," he said then quietly.

"What?" I turned around, staring at him.

He looked at me through his eyelashes, his hair falling deep on his forehead, touching the frown between his eyebrows. "Being Fire Lord. I mean, technically, I would be the next one, and if I had to I would be it, but…" Sighing he shifted back to lean his back on the wall. "You know I wasn't raised to become Fire Lord, right?"

Frowning I cocked my head to the side. "I… You… Well, no, you never told me that. But I guess your uncle should have been Fire Lord instead of your father, right? So your cousin would have become Fire Lord."

"Yes. I was just a prince, royalty, but I wasn't prepared for anything political. The only thing we had to learn was how to fight and how to win a battle. Relatives of the Fire Lord normally became high ranking officers in the army and brought us many victories in the last hundred years. Only when I turned ten I suddenly had to learn a lot about politics, and then I always heard it: "You'll be Fire Lord one day. So don't do that, you have to do this, you have to learn this, you are not allowed to do this…" and a whole bunch of other new rules," he told me, his voice raspy, while he stared at the opposite wall.

Frowning I moved a bit closer. "So you never wanted to become Fire Lord?"

He shrugged. "Not really. I accepted my fate, though, and thought that if I had to become Fire Lord, I could also give my best and become a good Fire Lord. I chose to study more thoroughly and to learn everything there was in order to become a great Fire Lord."

"Why did you want that?" I asked.

"What?" He looked at me, brows furrowed, and the end of the one raised.

"Become a good Fire Lord. You still could not have cared," I explained.

He looked at me as if I had just said the stupidest thing he had ever heard. "But… Well, for my people, of course. For my nation. I wanted to ensure them a good, safe, and happy life," he said dryly.

"And now?"

Sighing he leaned his head against the wall. "I would try and give my best, if I ever become Fire Lord, but like I said, I don't care that much about this anymore. If I can really somehow gain father's acceptance, but he'll still make Azula Fire Lord… Well, if I was convinced she would be a fair and good ruler, then I would still say that I don't care. But honestly…" He tilted his head to the side, looking at me. "I would be a much safer Fire Lord for the world than Azula. She would bring every nation to fall and to bow under the Fire Nation. And she would rule mercilessly. Even a small break of the law, some small disturbance in her perfection would make her use drastic measures." He fidgeted with his hands. "She's not… I mean… This is so difficult. Somehow I admire her for her ruthlessness and perfection, but on the other hand I know I wouldn't want to live like that. Just thinking this is probably treachery, since these are the values I was raised with. These are the most important things in the Fire Nation, if you want to become someone important."

I shifted closer to him, pressing my arm against his. "I don't think so. Sure, you might be on top for a while, but why? Only because people fear you? Zuko, fear is not respect," I said, slowly beginning to feel frustrated. What would it take to make him understand that?

I wondered if the rebellion was a bad plan. Maybe the better plan was trying to get Zuko on the Fire Nation throne. And if he was there, then… what? Would he withdraw the army from Ba Sing Se? Would he free the Earth Kingdom? Would he give up the colonies?

But what if the rebellion worked, and he would find out that I have been part of it?

"Respect is earned by being fair, generous in the right situations, but not hesitating to have to punish people, either," I continued.

"That's a nice definition, Kilara, but I learned something different," he said, sighing.

Suppressing an angry reply I licked my dry lips. "What would you do with the world if you ever became Fire Lord? I mean, I know you wouldn't be cruel, but… you have still very twisted opinions sometimes, and I was wondering…"

I could see how he lifted his guard, his gaze wary, as he studied my face. "What?"

Leaning a bit back, I took a deep breath. "What would you do to the other nations? Would you continue the war? Making the whole world the Fire Nation? Would you try to fulfil your great-grandfathers vision?"

His eyes widened a bit, and he leaned back a bit, too, then frowning he looked at the ground. "I don't know. I wouldn't do it, if I wouldn't think it would be necessary. It's the only thing my nation has known for the last hundred years. I couldn't just try to make them change their minds. No one wants to hear that your superiority was only a lie, and that you're not better or more important than others," he sighed. "It would be easier the other way around. But except for improving the living conditions for the Earth Kingdom people, I think I would not attack the Northern Water Tribe. There is nothing there the Fire Nation could need, and it would only be a waste of money, materials, and lives."

"So… you would not free the Earth Kingdom?" I asked tentatively.

Zuko's frown deepened as he looked at me, and I could detect sadness in them. "I'm afraid not. Not without a reason. It wouldn't look good, and the council could think I'm mad and decide to kill me to have Azula as Fire Lord instead."

"And if there were rebellions… Like, a lot, and they would only cause trouble…"

He twisted his mouth, touching his chin lightly. "Well, if they would force the Fire Nation troops to withdraw, I could give in, but the war wouldn't be over and there wouldn't be peace. The easiest way to achieve peace is to leave things as they are. If the Earth Kingdom can accept their defeat, there shouldn't be a problem for them to live under Fire Nation regime."

The strange feeling inside of me became worse, almost as if I wanted to throw up. "Are you serious?"

He looked at me, then rolled his eyes and groaned. "Stop it, Kilara! We won't go anywhere with this!"

"But this is wrong!" I exclaimed. "There are four elements, so there has to be four nations!"

"I don't believe that anymore." His voice was hoarse when he said so.

"What?"

"There is no Air Nation since a hundred years. The last airbender… he died over two weeks ago! And did anything bad happen to this world? Does the world let us know that the apocalypse is approaching? Did vengeful spirits appear?" he snarled. "Honestly, I think this world doesn't give a fuck about what we're doing with it. This whole balance stuff can't be true!"

"Of course something bad happened to this world! And the world is inanimate, so don't talk as if it could do something, but don't you think that one hundred years of war are a bad thing? This is not about natural phenomena, but about human perception! About our sense of justice, Zuko! Do you think it is fair to invade other nations, just because of its natural resources, and to form colonies and make the indigenous quarry them, so that you can use them? This is stealing, Zuko! Your nation took what didn't belong to them, and made the life of the victims one hundred times worse!"

"You think I don't know that?" he snapped at me. "Why can't you ever stop lecturing me? I know myself what my nation has done, but it happened, and now we have to live with it. This is our world, and unfortunately, we can't make us another one to live in!"

"I'm not trying to lecture you, but you have to see that the easy way is not always the right way," I said.

He suddenly jumped, his face contorted in anger. "Oh, yeah? Like I don't know that already! I chose the damn right way three years ago, and all I got was a scar and banishment. I lost my family, my country, and my honour! You make it sound so easy, but you don't know anything, right?" He took a deep breath, calming himself and softening his features. He didn't look angry anymore, but desperate and sad. "You only lived with your parents in places which weren't touched from the war at all. You had a happy and easy life, until your mother died, and even after that you didn't see the war! Have you ever experienced something bad happening to you? Have any of your plans ever gone wrong, because you always speak like doing what's right was the easiest thing in the world!" he growled, his eyes narrowing.

My lower lip trembled, because… He was right. I never had to suffer through what he had to. No one ever scarred me physically, and I hadn't been disowned by my family. I had never felt that my family didn't love me. But I hated being talked to like this by him. My brother didn't talk to me, and my friend kind of insulted me. It was too much.

Besides, what I had experienced might not be as bad as his life was, but it was bad enough.

My throat went dry, and I shook my head. "I'm sorry, this was not my intention. I know doing the right thing isn't always easy and brings a lot of dangers and risks with it. When my mother taught me how to use this special bending technique she showed it to me demonstrating it on wild otterdogs. They winced and cried in pain, when she forced them to move to her will. I grabbed my mother's arms, forcing her to stop it. She didn't let go of them, and by the way I forced her arms to move I accidentally caused her to kill them."

He stared at me in disbelief and shock.

I forced my gaze to remain hard as steel, but my breath was shaky, and I blinked a few times.

"I didn't want her to do this anymore, so any other form she showed me she showed it to me bending myself. It was either me hurting or animals, which didn't understand what was happening to them, hurting. I did the right thing, Zuko, and I was in pain because of it for years! Pain inflicted by my mother! She could have stopped teaching me this technique, but she insisted that I had to learn it."

He swallowed, crossing his arms in front of his chest, his eyes wide, and his mouth slightly open.

Oh moon, I couldn't believe I just told him that! No one knew about this! Just because I had become angry, I had forgotten about not revealing too much to a potential enemy! How could I have been so stupid, so careless? My mother would have scolded me now. Feelings were no reason to lose one's temper. That's why I always should keep a level head. Thinking before talking.

But I, fortunately, caught myself before I told him even more in my attempts at proving that I had suffered from doing the right thing, too.

"And I once thought I did the right thing in helping you, at my uncle's house. I believed that people would give received kindness to others. And I believed I did the right thing in following you, in saving your uncle, and in not revealing you to the authority of Ba Sing Se, when I found you here. I still live with my family, but my brother is blaming my carelessness for this city's occupation. I don't regret healing your uncle, but without him you couldn't have entered the city, and couldn't have helped your sister conquering it. So yeah, this plan has gone wrong. I know this didn't happen just because of me, but it was not what I imagined my actions would lead you to."

Zuko and I stared at each other for long moments, and I was wondering what he was thinking. He had an odd expression on his face, but the only feeling I could make out was anger, although I noticed he tried to control it. His frown deepened and suddenly his anger vanished, being replaced by frustration and sadness.

Some stupid part of me wished he would try to comfort me and tell me that I was stupid blaming myself, and that Nanuk was even more stupid, but I knew it was irrational to hope for comfort from someone who one had just shouted at.

And I… I also wished for the thousandth time that this could be easier. That the world could be perfect and that I would not have this urge, this voice in my head telling me that there was something I could do, that there was always something one could do. I wished I could just leave Zuko be with his mentally disturbed world view, but I couldn't. If there was something I could change about him, or just push him in the right direction, since I knew he had good in him, I had to do it! But it was tiring and very hard, for he was so stubborn and sensitive.

"I'm sorry about what your mother did to you," he said in a low voice.

I hugged myself around my middle, only nodding and staring at a spot on the wall next to his head. Tears threatened to fall, and I tensed my face up.

Zuko and I had wanted to be friends. But was it perhaps impossible in this world? How could we be friends, if we wanted such different things for this world and in our life? It felt to me as if our friendship would have an expiration date. It would only go well as long as the problems of our real life wouldn't disturb us.

I wouldn't stay under the Fire Nation's foot, and Zuko would not do anything against his nation. This was a fact.

I cast my eyes down, as I realised this for the first time. Or maybe I had known all along, but hadn't wanted to see the truth. Maybe that's why I hadn't been ready to trust him. Because I knew he could someday be my enemy.

I trusted him when he said he didn't want to hurt me, but I knew his country was more important to him. If I would make myself an enemy of the Fire Nation, he would not hesitate in bringing me down.

"And I'm sorry your brother is such a muttonhead, but your decisions… They were based on your kindness, and I'm still very grateful for all of this," Zuko declared, his voice louder, as if he was saying something very important. "Maybe I wouldn't have come to Ba Sing Se without my uncle, that is true. But Azula would have. And she would have conquered the city without me, too. She had so many advantages in this battle; I wasn't important for its outcome at all. By saving my uncle you only saved me from months of solitude and a life without a purpose. Now I know, after all, what I can do, and where I can go. I promised that I wouldn't waste any power I would ever gain, Kilara. I don't plan to break that promise."

I stared at him, my eyes wide, my lips wanting to smile, and my hands wanting to pull out strands of hair from my scalp.

Why was this so damn difficult and complicated with him? Why did he have to say what I had wanted to hear? How could he have said the right thing now, when normally he never said the right thing?

I furrowed my brows as much as I could in order not to let my tears fall, as I looked into his golden, warm eyes. He just held a lot of kindness in them, and I wanted to concentrate on that, I only wanted to think about the fact that we liked each other and liked spending time with each other, but how much longer would I be able to keep this lie up?

Just shortly before our ambitions forced us apart? Until it was too late and one of us hurt the other one?

I had to look at the ground, and cringed inwardly, feeling my stomach clench and my ribs hurting. "Thank you. I appreciate that."

Swallowing I thought frantically of a way to get rid of him, so that I could sort my thoughts and feelings out, when I suddenly felt his arms surrounding me, pulling me close to hug him.

My eyes widened, and I tensed up first, but it was no use. I liked hugging him way too much, but this hurt even more. Wrapping my arms around him I buried my face in his chest, sniffing.

"This is strange, you know," I whispered.

"Hugging?"

"No, us. You and me as friends. It's like this world and our roles in it don't allow us to be friends," I continued.

His hug became firmer. "Don't say that. We can find a way, I'm sure of it," he murmured, his chin brushing against my hair.

"What makes you so confident?" I asked.

"The fact that I want to be your friend. I want to spend time with you. And so I will."

"Ah, so it is your stubbornness which makes you so confident."

"Yep."

I chuckled lightly, and felt then how he let go of me, and stepped back.

He smiled, but I couldn't return it.

"I don't know if our friendship will be important enough for me to sacrifice this world's fate, Zuko. I'd rather have this war ended, and all people living in harmony again, than be your friend in a bad and evil world."

His face told me that he got it all wrong. Well, it wasn't something very nice to say, I had to admit that, but I didn't see it that way that he didn't mean enough to me.

Taking a deep breath I continued. "And… I really want to have you in my life, but that is a selfish wish, and I'm not as selfish to put that in front of the world's fate. This doesn't mean I don't like you enough. It means that I'm not so selfish to want to have you with me. If this war would end, wouldn't you be happy, too?" I asked, hoping that he was following my words, and not still thinking about Denzai and me.

He frowned deeply at my words, looking at the ground for a moment. "I would be happy. War itself is something awful. It would be great if all this misery, and meaningless deaths could end." He pinched the bridge of his nose, as if he would get a headache, and then slightly shook his head. Running his hand through his hair he looked up to look me in the eyes again. "Maybe I'll come to see the right thing as a bit easier with time."

I swallowed down a smile, trying not to hyperventilate at what he had just implied! If he would, then… we wouldn't have to part ways!

"Anyway, I should go," he suddenly said. "I have to be back for dinner, and Ty Lee and Mai are probably already wondering why my bath is taking me so long." He put his hat back on his head, and smiled lopsidedly at me.

I have come to love this smile of his very much. When he looked boyish and carefree…

"Then off with you!" I smiled, pushing against his arms slightly.

"You really want to get rid of me, don't you?" he asked in a light tone.

"Oh, yeah. No good young lady does have a palace servant in her room for this long," I explained, and caused Zuko to chuckle.

"Well, your dignity will be spared, I promise," he said, and turned towards my door, opening it.

Shit! Nanuk just opened the door to the house.

"Zuko, wait!" I hissed.

He immediately stood still.

Feeling for my brother's water I waited until he was in his room, from whose door one fortunately couldn't see my door in which the prince currently stood frozen like a statue.

"Okay, the air is clear. Move it!"

"See ya!" And off he was.

Sighing I followed his water with my senses, making sure that he left without anything disturbing him.

I closed my door, pushing all the thoughts about Zuko and I becoming enemies away and concentrated on what he had said. That doing the right thing could maybe become easier to him. And then we could stand on the same side.

I started getting all excited and giddy, grinning like an idiot and dancing to my desk to finish my homework. Humming to myself I rummaged through my bag, pulling out the scrolls and books I would need, looking for the right page or paragraph. I laid a new roll of parchment in front of me and grabbed a pen, sighing in content, and started reading about Earth King Jingguo's wife Earth Queen Chun Li, when another body of water moved closer to our house.

I immediately sat up straight, tilting my head to the side. It felt vaguely familiar, and for a few moments I thought Zuko had forgotten something.

But then my heart started beating quickly, as I felt Nanuk getting up and moving through the hallway, just as Zuko stood in front of our door.

Faster than I had ever moved before I jumped, ran to my door, tore it open and sprinted through the hallway. "Nanuk!"

He looked at me in confusion, when it knocked. My eyes widened, as his narrowed. He probably assumed who was standing in front of the door.

But just when Nanuk opened it, I felt it again, and I noticed that it was not Zuko, but that this person's body water felt a bit like his. Who on earth…

I quickly ran to stand beside Nanuk, and tried to step in front of him, but he grabbed my arm.

One delicate and very well treated eyebrow rose on a completely immaculate pale forehead, while amber eyes glinted dangerously, and the perfect full red lips twisted in a mock pout.

The black haired girl wore dark red clothes, black shoulder and chest plates with a golden fringe, which contrasted greatly with the soft looking material of her tunic. She put a hand on her hip, shifting her weight.

"Well, well. So you're the reason Zuko's been neglecting his poor little sister," Azula, the princess of the Fire Nation said, staring at me and my brother like only a predator could.

* * *

_**Answers to reviews:**_

_To _uchihaNaruto247_: Thank you, I was really wondering if the non-action was okay, but I had the same feeling you had. They had to sort things out, and although I wanted it to be faster done, they took their time. Well, if you like characters interacting, I guess you liked this chapter, too. _

_To _FlameEternal: _Thank you so much! I'm happy to have apparently found a new reader in you! I hope I'll be able to continue to look deeper into the canon!  
_


	16. Chapter 16

_Hey! I'm finally going to catch up on that cliffhanger from last time!  
_

_I know this took a while, but this chapter is also a lot longer than the others I've written so far, so it is only logical that it took me longer to write it. Anyway, I wanted to have the comic finished in this chapter, but there were so many things happening in between the scenes of the comic, which an author has to describe, so it got longer than I had expected. _

_Since term started again last week, and I have a lot more lectures and courses than last term, I will certainly not be able to update this story weekly, as I had done during the summer term, but I'll try my best! _

_I hope you like the next chapter!:D Loads of things happening there!_

_I do not own Avatar The Last Airbender, nor its characters. The only characters I won are my OCs. _

* * *

**Chapter Sixteen**

**Going Home Again - Part Two**

_**Kilara**_

"Well, well. So you're the reason Zuko's been neglecting his poor little sister," Azula, the princess of the Fire Nation said, staring at me and my brother like only a predator could.

My body froze in shock for a moment, and I couldn't do anything else than to stare at her. When I was able to move again I stepped sideways, wanting to shield Nanuk, who had apparently had the same thought, so we bumped into each other.

I turned on him, sending him a glare and a definite message.

But Nanuk decided that this was the right moment to be stubborn.

He bent the earth under my feet with a tiny movement of his hand, so that I couldn't move anymore and stepped in front of me. I glared at the back of his head, hoping he felt it all through his hair and thick skull.

But Nanuk surprised me. Instead of going all on the defensive, he remained calm and formal.

He bowed to the princess and I quickly followed suit.

"My apologies, lady. I don't think we had the pleasure yet. May I ask for your name and the reason for why you're here?" Nanuk asked, keeping his voice polite and level.

I was very impressed. He was normally more on the impulsive side.

My head lifted slightly, so that I could watch the princess's reaction.

She didn't seem pleased, as I could see by the curl of her lips.

"You are quite right," she answered then, looking off to the side, as if she were annoyed. "We haven't met each other yet. So let me introduce myself." She looked back at us, her eyes slightly narrowed and her red painted lips curved into a smile. "I am Azula, Princess of the Fire Nation, daughter of Fire Lord Ozai."

My heart beat at a fast rate, and my throat went very dry. Zuko had warned me against her! And now she was here, in front of my house, talking to my brother! How did this happen? Had Zuko maybe… No! I refused to believe that!

"But you already knew this, didn't you, Kilara?" Her voice was quiet and dangerous as she addressed me.

I stayed the way I was, staring at the floor.

"You may rise," the princess said kindly.

I straightened up, but still looked at the ground, my hands clasped in front of me. "Yes, princess. I assumed who you are. You seem very regal, wear Fire Nation clothes and there's the crown in your hair," I explained in a low and demure tone.

At that I was met with silence, but didn't dare to look up. Blinking I tried to calm my racing heart. But how was it that she knew my name?

"I want to speak in private with you, Kilara," the princess said, her voice a messed up mix of friendliness and cruelty, as she strode into the hallway, forcing Nanuk and me to walk backwards. He fortunately crumbled the earth around my feet, so that I didn't stumble and fall.

The princess stemmed her hands on her hips and looked around. The message was clear.

I bowed again. "Of course, princess. Please, follow me."

I didn't look at Nanuk, when I turned around to walk into the living room. I didn't know what he would do now, but I hoped desperately that it wasn't something stupid. So far he had acted rather smartly, though.

The princess closed the door behind her and I gestured to the couch. "Please, my princess, take a seat."

Her eyes glinted, as she smirked slightly. "You are so demure. I didn't think someone like you would be the type for Zuko. Then again, he probably also wants to feel powerful sometimes."

I swallowed and fought the urge to clench my hands into fists.

She sat down in one fluid and elegant motion, pointing at the armchair across from her. I sat down and clasped my hands in my lap, looking down.

"Kilara it is, right?" she asked, suddenly sounding nice and friendly.

I nodded. "Yes, princess."

"I take it that you have had a lot of contact with my older brother lately, am I correct?"  
I needed to take a deep breath to answer this question well. Was it better if I pretended not to know him? But if she had proof, then maybe I would only make it worse…

"Where have you heard such a thing?" I asked, still keeping my voice low and a bit higher than normal. As long as I didn't look at her, she wouldn't be able to see the fear in my eyes.

I heard the princess shifting on the couch. "This is not of your concern. The fact is that Zuko had been here. I just saw him leaving."

Closing my eyes I tried to gather my strength and courage. "I'm afraid I don't know who you are talking about."

"My brother!" she snapped, and I flinched. "I am talking about Zuko, the Crown Prince of the Fire Nation, you imbecile!"

Although I was afraid to my bones I couldn't help but become angry at that insult. How dare she? I was one of the smartest of my class!

"I am very sorry, but I really don't know who you are talking about," I said even more quiet and added a shiver to my body.

"So you tell me you don't know a one metre seventy boy with yellow eyes and an ugly burn on his left eye?" she probed, sounding more dangerously than before.

At this I let my head snap up and my eyes grow wide. "You mean Lee?" I asked breathlessly. Realising what I had done I quickly covered my mouth and looked back at the ground. "Please excuse me, princess, this only took me by surprise. I know a boy like that, but his name is Lee and he is not the Fire Prince," I said.

It was highly unnerving not being able to look at the princess. I wanted to see her reactions, so that I knew where I was at.

"Oh, you think you're good, don't you?" She suddenly stood up. "But you're not fooling me. I know that you know exactly who my brother is. He has been visiting you for the last weeks."

I shook a bit more. "B-but that… Lee was…"

Suddenly something blue and light was right under my face. It felt hotter than anything I've ever felt before, so I instinctively backed away, pressing myself against the rest of the armchair.

The Princess stood right in front of me, the flame in her hand and a mad disapproving look on her face. "Don't you mention that 'Lee' again! I know you know it, so drop that pathetic act!"  
Dammit, how could she have noticed I had lied? I hadn't made any mistakes, my story was free of mistakes, so how did she find out?

I glared at that blue flame in her hand, and found it very unfair how she wielded it. Blue was the colour of my element, it was the colour of my mother's people, but yet the Fire Nation had found a way to even take this from us.

It made me almost so angry that I couldn't think straight.

"What is it that you want?" I whispered, not even needing to put false fear in my voice.

Her eyes narrowed more. "Admit you lied and that you knew all along who Zuko is."  
I nodded in defeat, but kept the demure act. "Yes, you are right, princess. I figured it out, because I had seen wanted posters of him. But he told me his name was Lee, I swear!" I pleaded, not even lying this time.

She seemed satisfied, since she extinguished the flame and straightened up, leaving me more space to breathe. Her facial expression changed slightly into a confused frown, but was quickly replaced by a calculating smirk. "So you knew that helping him in any sort was against the law, I understand?"

I fought the urge to narrow my eyes at her and to tell her that Fire Nation law had been as relevant to me as the poop of a cow pig.

Swallowing I frowned. "I assumed it, but I never read the poster," I explained, not even lying now.

The princess raised both eyebrows and twisted her mouth in a pout. "Well, this is not my problem, is it? It is yours. You broke the law."

I gathered all my courage, as I sat up a bit straighter. "My apologies, princess, but I thought the prince was no fugitive anymore. He just left my house, you could have captured him, if he was still wanted."

"You are right," she said, but managed to sound as though I couldn't ever be. "Prince Zuko has restored his honour and is therefore able to become Crown Prince again. But this only happened a few weeks ago. And you knew him long before that, didn't you?" she asked in a dangerously quiet tone.

Swallowing I nodded. _Stick to the truth as close as possible if you have to lie._ "Yes, but it was all just a coincidence. I didn't know who he is back then!"

"Well, but you did when you first came upon him in this city, right? You should have reported to the authorities right away," she told me, a mocking sad tone to her voice. "But because you didn't you betrayed your own country. And you betrayed the Fire Nation. Do you have any idea what happens to traitors?"

I felt the urge to spit in her face, snarl at her, and to kick her legs from underneath her just to see the shock on her face. It was very hard not to glare at her. "No, please!" I shouted, hoping to be able to cry soon. "Don't do it! I didn't mean to betray anything! Please, have mercy!" I begged, sounding as desperately as I could manage, even leaning a bit forward and lifting my hands towards her.

With raised eyebrows she stared at me for a while, then rolled her eyes and began studying her nails. "Okay, fine," she sighed. "I'm going to have mercy on you. Instead of having you locked up, tortured and then beheaded…," she said the last word very slowly, as if she would enjoy its feeling in her mouth, "…I will simply burn down your house."

I quickly looked up at her, frowning deeply in shock.

She tapped her chin and seemed to think of something. I waited, hoping she would change her mind.

"With your family still in it. Yes, I think this is fitting."

I couldn't do it anymore. Something in me snapped, and I just wasn't able anymore to keep this up. I couldn't cry and beg for mercy when I knew that she had no such thing inside of her.

"NOO!" I yelled, jumping up and lashed out on her.

She was fast, and I only managed to touch one of her shoulder blades, as she side stepped me.

But instead of falling down in a hurtful position I reacted instinctively, rolled up and jumped back up, spinning around to face her again. "Don't you lay a hand on them!" I snarled, my fists clenched and being full of rage. How dare she threaten my family?

Princess Azula stood there, calmly, as if she was waiting for a train and watched me with a little smile. "So I was right then. It was all just an act. Finally you showed your true colours!"

Dammit! She had only said that to manipulate me!

"After all, Zuko would never meet with that pathetic demure creature you wanted to make me believe was you!" she added, still smug. "Even he's got standards. But I must say that I'm impressed. I didn't think any girl in this weak city could actually be anything else than pathetic and demure."

"So?" I asked and tried to calm down or at least relax a bit. I had revealed some of myself to her, but she didn't know anything yet. And I would like it to stay this way. If I kept my fighting position up, she could know that I knew how to fight. It was better for me if she didn't.

"I'm giving you another option, Kilara Huang," the princess said, smirking. "Option one you already know: I'll burn your house and family in it. Option two: When Zuko will come here tonight tell him to leave. Do anything you can to make him want to leave Ba Sing Se for the Fire Nation."

Frowning I took a step back, then I shook my head. "What? Why?"

She straightened herself a bit and narrowed her eyes. Her voice became louder. "Zuko is the prince of the Fire Nation. He is supposed to be Crown Prince. The Fire Nation is his home, and so he will leave this city for it. No Fire Nation royal should disgrace him- or herself that much as to live in an Earth Kingdom city," she added in disgust.

"Is this the only reason you want Zuko to go back?" I asked, trying to keep my voice calm.

Her eyes narrowed even more. "I wouldn't know that this was your business." Then she rolled her shoulders and sighed, walking for the door.

I turned around, not letting her out of my sight for once.

She wiped her hands against each other. "So, I'm counting on you, Kilara Huang. If Zuko won't be willing to leave with us tomorrow, your house and family will burn. I'd try my best if I were you."

I stared after her, when she left.

She opened the door to the hallway and didn't even stop, when Nanuk and dad were standing right in front of it. They stepped quickly enough to the side, as she strode out.

Out of instinct I felt for her water, wanting to make myself familiar with it, so that I would always recognize her again. So that I would always be warned.

I didn't even notice dad and Nanuk rushing towards me, because I was so caught up in analysing and getting used to her water quickly enough, before she would leave my grasp. Now that I dug a bit deeper I noticed that she felt different from Zuko. From afar I could mistake her for him, but where Azula's water felt strong and forward, Zuko's felt a bit lost, as if he didn't know where to go. I had noticed this before about him, but it had always felt strange to me to feel differences in the water flow in the body of people. I had even thought that this could mean they were ill, but my mother had told me it hadn't anything to do with their health.

When I knew Azula's water well enough I snapped out of it and blinked, seeing dad in front of me, how he grasped my shoulders and shook me a bit.

Frowning I slapped his hands away. "What is it?" I asked, probably sounding a bit too pissed.

But I was! I was very much damn pissed!

She had seen right through me! She had uncovered my lies and had manipulated me so that I gave up my act! She had played with me like a fox cat with a rat mouse, and in the end I had given her what she wanted.

How had she done that?

And what was more important, how could I have let this happen?

Dad looked slightly taken aback and furrowed his eyebrows. "A-are you okay? What did she want from you? Has it something to do with the prince?"

"It's all fine. I mean I'm fine. Everything. She just… wanted to know some things about her brother's stay in Ba Sing Se as a refugee," I lied, but feared they would see through me, too. Had there been a crack in my mask?

Dad frowned even more. "Why did she do that?"

Sighing I shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe she thought she would hear something she could use against him."

Still frowning dad suddenly pulled me into a hug.

"Mph!" I made out of surprise.

I felt him pressing his cheek to my hair, as he pulled me closer. Pressing my eyes shut I bit down on my lip and tried to drink all the strength I felt from him in. I didn't think of my father as a strong man, but strangely, I always felt like he gave me strength. I could be strong, as long as he was there.

"Oh, Kira, you have no idea how worried I was just now!" he murmured.

"Both of us," a hoarse voice said from behind me.

I slightly turned in dad's embrace and looked at my brother, whose face seemed to be painfully contorted, while he bit on his lower lip. I only had to glance at him for one second to see that he wasn't mad at me anymore and that he was sorry for how he had treated me.

I smiled at him.

His eyes smiled back, while the rest of his face still seemed worried, and I could tell that he didn't believe me for one second.

_**Zuko**_

It was long ago that I had felt so good and confident, when I arrived at the palace. I felt excited and agitated. I couldn't wait for Azula and everyone else to leave.

I had a slight bounce to my step, when I walked into the servants' chambers, but quickly tried to shuffle around like them, to better blend in.

After changing into my noble Earth Kingdom clothes I walked to my room, cautiously, so that I could hide quickly if Mai or Ty Lee were hanging around here somewhere. After all, they thought I took a bath.

Maybe I should try to find Azula to find a solution for me staying behind. I was positive she would have work for me. Probably the most difficult and nastiest work on earth, but at that moment I felt like I could manage anything.

Before I actually could get to the throne room, I saw my sister in the hallway with several Dai Li agents, walking towards it.

I narrowed my eyes slightly Where had she been?

"Zuzu!" she greeted me and I clenched my teeth and curled my hands into fists. She sounded mocking again.

"Where have you been?" I gritted out.

Her eyebrows shot up. "What? You missed me already that much? How strange, considering you want to stay here instead of accompanying me home."

Frowning I rolled my eyes. "I was looking for you," I explained.

"Oh?" Azula asked, raising her eyebrows. "Well, you've found me. What can I do for you, Zuzu?" She stopped in front of me, clasping her hands together and looking way too innocent.

She had probably just interrogated some prisoners or kicked deer puppies.

"I wanted to talk to you. About me staying here," I said.

She blinked. "What is there to talk about?"

I took a deep breath. "Well, I don't want to be useless, while I'll be here. I want to do something to serve our nation. I commanded a ship for almost three years, I know a lot of things about our military and I know the Earth Kingdom people! I've lived here, so I could be pretty useful here, if you let me."

She twisted her mouth and frowned a bit. "Really?"

I nodded, swallowing, hoping she would agree with me. Although I knew she could not let me do this, even if she agreed with me.

"Wow, brother, I didn't know you were that ambitious," she drawled, and it felt like a stab to the side. "You know that being the Crown Prince would be the best way to serve your country."

"Maybe you think that," I replied stoically.

She sighed. "Okay, fine, I will see that I can do something for you."

My eyebrows shot up, since I couldn't contain my surprise. "Really? Thank you, Azula." It felt good saying these words, since I probably last said them when I was seven. It felt good thinking that my sister could do nice things, too.

"Actually…," she began, "… Admiral Liang will arrive at the palace today. We all will have dinner together, outside of the ballroom on the patio. He will stay here for a few months, just commanding the troops. If you want to have something to do, you should talk to him about that."  
Admiral Liang? I remembered him! He had been at some gatherings or ceremonies at the palace, and I had come across him two years ago when I had searched the Eastern Air Temple for the Avatar. Admiral Liang had been stationed in the Eastern Earth Kingdom to spy on how refugees entered Ba Sing Se. I had liked him, since he hadn't had any success in finding what he should. He had been a bit desperate and very nice, not an arrogant ass like most of the other military officers.

I had to fight a smile from spreading on my lips. "Alright. I'll be there," I said, turning around and leaving for my room.

"You're welcome," my sister said, her voice sounding very happy with herself, but I barely noticed it, since I was thinking about what I should prepare in order to impress Admiral Liang, so that he would let me work with him.

_**Kilara**_

Dad and Nanuk didn't let me out of their sight for more than an hour. We all drank tea in the living room and ate some fruit and rice cakes.

I promised both of them again and again that I hadn't seen Zuko since the last time he had been here. I felt pretty bad for lying, but I also knew that if I would have told the truth they would have only worried more about me. After all, not having seen Zuko for over two weeks now sounded as if I didn't know him that well, so the princess couldn't want a lot from me.

I was still wondering how she knew that he had seen me. Had she had people follow him? How on earth had they followed him? I hadn't felt anyone suspicious near him and I had seen how he moved. I knew that I could have never followed him over the roofs. He had been way too fast and had moved so swiftly. Somehow I had never doubted that no one could track him.

Maybe they had followed underground, but then again, how would they have known which way Zuko had gone? Or the princess had spies everywhere. Maybe our neighbours had noticed something… Or I just didn't notice someone.

Maybe I had lost some of my powers. Or how else had the princess seen through my act? Or maybe she was just better than me. Maybe I had never met anyone else before who was better, so I had thought I was good.

But I couldn't change that now. What I needed to focus on was how I would get rid of Zuko.

Of course I didn't like the fact that I was forced to make him leave, especially when I wanted him to stay, but it was not something to ponder about. I would drive everyone away if it meant saving my family. I would even hurt my friends' feelings and do terrible things to them if I could ensure my family's wellbeing.

Despite of it all I felt very guilty thinking of hurting Zuko. Our friendship was like a fragile little blossom, and now I would have to crush it. I would have to crush Zuko's trust in me and whatever else he might feel. So many bad things had already happened to him, and although I still doubted his mental health, he didn't deserve anything else bad happening to him. He didn't deserve what I was going to do to him.

_**Zuko**_

My excitement grew with every minute, but I still managed to study all the recent military movements and practise some firebending before I had to go to dinner.

I even looked into the mirror before I left my room in search of a servant who could tell me where to go to find the ballroom. The one I found was the thin and short middle aged man who had once shown me my rooms, when I had first moved into the palace. He was still nervous, but I had the feeling it wasn't so bad.

"A-and now to your left, there is the patio," he said, after we had entered the ballroom.

It was very big with a high ceiling and columns standing all over the place. The room was held in green, soft brown and golden colours, but it was only scarcely lit and looked oppressive and way too big. Without a crowd of people gathered in there it looked kind of wrong. The room didn't serve its purpose, which made me a bit sad.

I turned around to the servant. "Thank you. I find it from here."

He bowed deeply. "You're very welcome, your highness! Of course, your highness."

Sighing inwardly I stepped out onto the patio and noticed that there was no one else outside yet.

Also, the patio was not exactly where the dining table stood. A stone way led from there further into the garden to a small wall, where a dining table had been laid, standing under a put up tent. Lanterns hang down from there and candles stood on the table.

Frowning I wondered why Azula had bothered to create such a nice atmosphere. But then I hesitated. There were only two seats. And only two place settings.

Oh no, would I have to eat with Admiral Liang alone?

Just when I started cursing inwardly at Azula I could hear footsteps behind me and turned around.

Mai was walking towards me, wearing many layers of different shades of green. Her gown flew softly behind her, as she stepped closer.

I blinked at her in surprise, since she looked more noble than usual.

She also seemed to be very surprised at only seeing me here. "Where is everyone?" she asked, stopping close to the table and looking around. "Azula told me that Admiral Liang was visiting and wanted to join us for dinner. _All _of us," she added and quickly looked to the side.

I watched how she bent over the table. "She told me the same thing, Mai. She's up to _something_…" Yeah, that must be it. Anger rose inside of me, when I realised that the whole thing about Admiral Liang had probably only been a lie.

"Well, the food doesn't look that awful. I guess we shouldn't let it go to waste," Mai interrupted my thoughts.

I stood next to her, looking at the food, and touching my chin lightly. She had a point there. And I was also very hungry from all those studying and exercising, so my body demanded that I agreed with her.

"Is that your way of saying the food looks good?" I asked, grinning inwardly, since I realised that this counted as teasing. Ha, if I could do that with Mai, then I would definitely be able to do it with Kilara!

Mai only gave me a flat stare and I took a seat, thinking that I better shouldn't do this again.

"I only think it looks okay," she stated with a slight annoyed tone to her voice.

I shrugged and helped me to some baozi and meat. Frowning I stared at a Dai Li agent who walked closer to us, but remained in the shadows, not being touched by the light of the lanterns, when he suddenly started playing the pipa. Urgh.

"What do you think Azula has been planning?" I asked her, when I took my first bite. It surprised me a bit, since the meat was deep fried and there were hot peppers along with fruits in the baozi.

It was Mai's time to shrug, while she reached for a fried pork chicken piece. "I don't know," she said, before putting the meat in her mouth.

Whatever it was, I was sure I would find out soon enough. _And until then we can eat those delicacies_, my stomach said.

It was quite right. It was very delicious, and it reminded me of home. I grew a bit nostalgic, but pushed the feeling down.

"Almost tastes like Fire Nation food. Just isn't seasoned enough," I murmured

Getting annoyed very quickly I threw a glare at the agent who had come even closer, so that I could see his face now. His music had gotten louder, and now I also noticed he wasn't a good player.

Mai started to grimace and glower at him, but he just continued, until I couldn't take it anymore. Mai groaned and put her fingers in her ear, when I pressed my hands on my ears.

"Can you please _stop that_?" I barked at the agent. "You're giving me a _headache_!"

The agent stopped immediately and grinned sheepishly. "Sorry. I haven't practised in a while."  
That one of them could even play an instrument made them seem a lot more human than anything of them I've seen before. They had always felt like emotionless shadows to me, not like people with hobbies.

At that moment I could hear quiet laughter come from behind a bush to my right.

I looked questioningly at Mai, who frowned at the bush with a slight twist to her mouth. I raised my eyebrows at her, and she nodded.

Glaring at the bush I noticed now, too, that the chuckling voices belonged to Azula and Ty Lee. Great! What were they doing here? What had been Azula's plan?

Standing up I turned towards the bush, curling my fists. "I _know_ you're back there, Azula! Don't you have something more important to do?"

My sister rose out of the bushes with all the elegance only a fighter trained since childhood who was also a princess could master. She brushed some dirt and leaves from her clothes on Ty Lee who rose a little later from the bush.

"I don't know _what_ you're talking about," she replied, putting her nose in the air. "I was just telling Ty Lee to stop messing around in the bushes. It's undignified."

Yeah. Right. She had lied way better before.

"Hey!" Ty Lee complained and started brushing dirt and little twigs from her clothes.

Azula just huffed and shrugged.

I was opening my mouth to ask her what it was she had been planning, when Mai suddenly leaned close to me. Caught off by surprise I could only stare at her face, when she held a hand up to her mouth and whispered "Let's get out of here."

I looked back at Azula and Ty Lee who started bickering again. Well, Azula insulted Ty Lee.

"Good idea," I said and found myself surprised by my actions. Normally I would insist on Azula telling me why she had lied about Admiral Liang, but Mai's calm demeanour somehow seemed to calm me as well. Maybe that was why I felt so relaxed, when we walked back to the ballroom.

"Azula and Ty Lee clearly start getting on my nerves," Mai said flatly and sighed.

I raised an eyebrow at her. "Honestly, I can't understand how you can be with them all the time."  
Mai shrugged. "I guess I'm just pretty used to things getting on my nerves."

I stiffened and pressed my lips together. "Then… I should probably leave you alone." Taking a step back I chose to try to sneak out to go see Kilara. Maybe there was still some food left at her place, since I hadn't been able to finish my meal just now. Why hadn't I insisted on finishing the food?

"I… I didn't mean you, Zuko." Her voice sounded a bit more fragile than usual, and I turned my head to look at her. She stared at the floor, her hands in her sleeves.

"Erm, thanks," I said.

"Do you think it would be okay to go back and get some of this food? I'm a bit angry at myself for not considering that we wouldn't get to finish dinner," she continued, now looking up again, while nothing revealed anything on her face.

"So you did like it then?" I asked, grinning slightly.

Her gaze didn't change one bit. "You said it almost tasted like Fire Nation food. That is reason enough to like it."

A smile tugged at my lips, but for her sake I fought it.

"I don't think that would be a good idea. Azula and Ty Lee are probably still out there. I don't want to have to deal with them today again."

"So what do you propose then?"

Blinking I noticed that I would probably be stuck to Mai for the rest of the evening, if I didn't find a good excuse. But…

"I don't know. I've only ate once in a restaurant in Ba Sing Se, and that was in the lower ring. We could go to the palace kitchen and ask there if we could have some food."

Mai looked thoughtful. "I think I would actually like to check out this restaurant in the lower ring."  
"What? Why?"

"I haven't been there before. Only in the middle ring, and I'll leave tomorrow." Shrugging she started walking in the direction of the front door. "Are you coming? I won't find it all by myself."  
For a moment I stood there like an idiot, but then I quickly caught up with her. "Sorry, I was just surprised that you would like to go there. You already found the middle ring disgusting, and the lower ring actually smells very bad."

She scrunched her nose, but shrugged. "Maybe that's why I want to go there. To be able to complain about it and say how much I hate it the whole time." Her voice sounded so empty and yet hopeful that I had to chuckle a bit.

"So you haven't had the opportunity to hate enough things for today?" I asked, probing.

"No, I haven't, given the fact I had only been in the palace." Seeing nothing in her facial expression change for the slightest I turned away, wondering if I was doing something wrong.

I had understood that this was just how Mai was, but sometimes I had already caught a glimpse at who else she could be. How else she could look if she smiled. The thing I liked about her was that if she smiled it was definitely a real smile. Mai wasn't fake.

"I thought you hated the palace?" Confusion settled inside of me.

She snorted. "I do. But that doesn't change the fact that there are not enough things inside there to hate."

"I don't like it either," I said flatly.

"Then…"  
When she didn't continue I turned towards her, since it wasn't like Mai at all to begin a sentence, but not finishing it. Raising my eyebrows I asked "What?"

"Forget it," she murmured.

We just stepped through the large front doors, when Mai stepped towards a Dai Li agent.

"We want to use a palanquin to get to the train station," she said.

The agent bowed. "Very well, Miss Mai. Please follow me."

They walked down the stairs and I hurried to catch up with them.

"What was it you wanted to say?" My hand reached for Mai's shoulder, but I pulled it back, before it could make contact.

She didn't even look at me. "I said forget it."

Narrowing my eyes I realised that this was no use, and that Mai was pretty stubborn. If she didn't want to tell me something, then she wouldn't.

Crossing my arms I scowled off to the side and thought how I could excuse me later to get to Kilara. I didn't want to have to come back here and then risk being caught while sneaking out again.

Mai also didn't make any attempts at softening the mood again, which actually bothered me.

We sat next to each other in the palanquin, and looked both out of the window. Why had she to be like this? She could have at least been a bit nicer, but no, all of a sudden she was that arrogant cold person again I had met a few weeks ago. She had nothing in common with the little girl, who liked reading in the garden, who laughed a lot, and knew how to enjoy herself. She had been Azula's friend, sure, but I had also seen her as my friend.

I tried not to think about her, and went back to think about Kilara and how she was doing. She was probably studying right now, or doing her homework, although… she had probably already done it, since she always did it right after her course. They would have dinner in an hour or so, and then she would continue studying or read something. Sighing I wished this evening would end fast.

Why was I doing this?

Because I was still hungry. And because I had wanted to spend time with Mai.

At that thought I scowled at the streets, wanting to incinerate them. I knew perfectly well why I liked Mai, and why spending time with her was nice, too, but… If these were the only reasons I had I could have already left her side in the palace.

Trying to breathe normally to slow my heartbeat down I threw a glance at Mai, catching her doing the same thing.

But I looked away quickly again.

That's when the palanquin stopped at the train station, and we got out, climbing the stairs. I thought about the evening when I had brought Kilara home, and we had taken a bus ride. This one would definitely be different.

Mai and I sat next to each other, but still didn't talk.

I was still a bit annoyed and I didn't know what her problem was.

There weren't many people on the train, but the few who were there stared at us. And what was their problem now? I doubted that the Earth Kingdom people knew the prince of the Fire Nation had a burn scar on his face, so why were they staring?

They were from the upper ring, too, so it wasn't strange to them that Mai wore an expensive robe. Looking down at me I wondered if my plain one was the problem. But other men on the train wore rather simple clothes, too.

Dammit, why were they staring? I hated this!

Noticing that Mai was moving I looked to her and saw that a knife exited her sleeve. She twirled it around one finger, looking at the other passengers from under her lashes, her eyes narrow.

That was when everyone looked away and even took a few steps away from us.

It was hard to keep the smile from my face.

"They were staring at your scar," Mai said matter-of-factly, when we descended the train one hour later in the lower ring.

I turned around to frown at her. "Are you sure?"

She nodded. "They probably thought that you had caused some trouble during the conquest of the Fire Nation. They don't hate the Fire Nation, and they don't want anything to do with someone who maybe does."

Blinking I stared ahead, pondering on what she had said. Would that maybe be a problem when I would stay here? That people would think of me as an opponent of the Fire Nation?

I let out a dry chuckle and shook my head.

Mai turned towards me, her eyebrows furrowed. "What's funny about this?"

I shrugged. "It's not funny, only cruelly ironic. I was given the scar, because I wanted to save Fire Nation people, and now people think I could be their enemy?"

Mai didn't answer, but after a while I noticed that she was busy looking disgusted and bored at the same time, while she observed the street we were walking down.

There was a lot of life around the train station in the lower ring, always market and many restaurants and shops. Lots of people were on the street, and in this area even children played outside. There were so many people here that the only thing one had to fear, even if it was dark, was pickpockets.

The restaurant Jin had taken me to was not far and we arrived there after a few minutes.

I was glad that Mai didn't ask me anything personal, like Jin had, but Mai also already knew a lot more about me than Jin had.

After ordering I noticed that the possibility of seeing Jin here could be high. I hoped she wouldn't recognise me, because that would become very embarrassing. After all, I was in the exact same restaurant she had shown me with another girl. I was pretty sure that this was not something she would like.

Thinking about her earthbending skills I shuddered. Maybe I would be lucky this evening.

The food was okay, nothing out of the ordinary, but Mai looked surprised at tasting it.

"What? So bad?" I wanted to know.

"No, actually not." She frowned. "It's good. Just different."

"From what?" I asked, confused.

She sighed, looking at me as if I was dumb. "Since I left the Fire Nation I have only eaten Fire Nation food or food which almost tastes like Fire Nation food. I never actually had Earth Kingdom food."

"Oh." I never thought about that. But it made sense, since she had lived in an occupied city and travelled with Azula. "So you like it?" I asked hopefully.

"It's not bad," she just said and kept eating.

I decided to be happy with this answer, after all it was like the highest and best compliment Mai could probably give to something or someone.

Since we ate in silence we were finished rather quickly. Both of us didn't eat fast, but it was still faster than the dinner I had had with Jin.

After she was finished Mai wanted to pay immediately, and I wondered if she wanted to get back to the palace as fast as possible. Was it because of me? Didn't she like spending time with me?

Why had I kept quiet? I should have said something! Something intelligent and funny, and wait… Why was I even thinking this? It was not like I needed her to like me, anyway!

I cleared my throat, while standing up and watched how Mai paid the waiter.

When she looked at me, something in her face seemed softer than usual and I hoped that it meant that she wasn't mad or pissed or anything which I didn't want her to be at me. After all, I wouldn't see her for a long time from now on. Maybe I wouldn't ever see her again!

Realising this I froze for a moment and blinked.

"Zuko?" she called. "Are you coming?"

I swallowed, catching up to her. "Yeah, sure. Let's uh… We can walk a bit. There is a very beautiful place not far from here," I said, thinking that she might like the firelight fountain as well. It had been nice, but also a bit romantic and wasn't that something girls liked?

She blinked, her facial expression still frustratingly neutral. "If you say so."

Not having anything to talk about with Mai made me kind of nervous, but I also tried to enjoy the evening. I noticed that some part of me had actually missed the lower ring, where so many people were out and voices and laughter were carried away by the wind. The smell of the most diverse spices and teas flew through the air with the smell of food. There were street lamps and oil lamps everywhere, since it was dark already. Even though everyone was wearing green it all seemed colourful and just so full of life to me. It was never like this in the Fire Nation capital.

There were festivals or gatherings, sure, also market days, but the people carried themselves in a different way. They didn't laugh out loud, and they didn't fight on the street. No couple kissed each other and children didn't play. The capital was more like the upper ring of Ba Sing Se. There the people kept their emotions stowed away and seemed cooler than the arctic wind, which was quite ironic since we were the people of the fire, right?

Mai sniffed, while we were walking past a stall, which offered salmon, just before we reached the firelight fountain. Her voice sounded as if she tried not to breathe through her nose. "Ugh… Do people actually eat any of this?"

I looked towards her. "It's not that bad… once you get used to it."

"_Lee_? Is that you…?" a voice called behind me, and my eyes widened, because I recognised the voice, and since the girl had said "Lee" she must have meant me!

So I was not lucky tonight. What a surprise.

Trying to fight the fear down to be bent into the earth I put a smile on my face, but it hurt. I hated fake smiles and I hated lying and uncomfortable situations!

"Lee, I can't believe it! It's been so long," Jin said softly and it sounded as if she would smile.

"_Lee_?" Mai asked, sounding amused.

I turned around slowly and found Jin actually smiling. At that my smile seemed to become a bit more real.

But then Jin's smile vanished and she pointed a finger at Mai. "Who's this?" she asked in a neutral voice, which gave me the creeps.

"Oh… Hi, Jin… um… er… This is just my friend. My friend from…" What did I tell her? "…the _circus_." My smile got a bit wider, since that cover up lie was pretty good. After all, Mai knew some circus tricks. "Yeah… She's the knife thrower."

Jin regarded Mai critically with a lot of astonishment. "_Really_?"  
Stupid, stupid, stupid! Of course she wasn't going to believe this if she didn't see it! Mai wasn't exactly the person one would picture, when one would think of a knife thrower.

I was just thinking about what to say next when Mai suddenly shoved me in the direction of the firelight fountain. Oh dammit, I knew it had been a bad idea going with Mai where Jin had taken me.

"Here. I'll show you. Go stand over there, _Lee_."

I frowned, when I heard the amusement and mischief in Mai's voice. That was not normal.

I cringed even more when I was right in front of the fountain. What was Mai up to?

"_Hah_! I hope she's better at throwing knives than you are at juggling!" Jin chuckled, and I only grimaced.

Mai tapped her chin, one corner of her lip was curled, and somehow this half smile captured all my attention. Her head was cocked a bit to the side, and although I stiffened I think I gaped at her like an idiot.

"_Hmm_…" she hummed. "Still not quite right."

I watched how she went back to the stall, buying a salmon.

Jin blinked, her eyes big as ever, as she watched what Mai was doing. She came back, swinging the fish in her hand while she walked over to me. I was pretty surprised she even touched the fish. She had found it disgusting, after all.

And when the fish touched my head I found it disgusting, too.

"Better," Mai sounded satisfied.

I raised my eyebrows, looking up and wished the fish would disappear. It was slimy and wet and ice cold. My whole head and all of my hair would be cold and wet and I hated being cold and wet. It reminded me of the North Pole.

Narrowing my eyes I tried to focus some heat in my head, but that only made me feel dizzy.

When I looked at Mai and Jin again Mai held an icicle in her hand she had fetched from wherever, and held it up. She looked at me, but somehow she actually managed to look bored.

Then why was she doing all this?

"You see, it's all in the wrist, really," she explained to Jin, but kept looking at me. And then she threw it.

I saw it coming straight towards me, and I had a flashback to the North Pole again, when people had fought with icicles, but this one was thrown, not bent, and it flew very fast, too fast to dodge it, and then it went right through the fish on my head. I pressed my eyes shut, as all the water from the fish rushed down my neck and forehead.

Urgh. Disgusting.

"Wow! That was amazing!" Jin cried out.

Yeah, I was very lucky that Mai was a better knife thrower than I a juggler.

I grabbed the fish off my head and laid it on the fountain's wall. Why was I even doing this? This was ridiculous! I was a prince, dammit! But if I would stay here, then I might see Jin more often, and it would be wiser not to have her holding a grudge against me.

Mai bought another fish and broke another icicle from the stall, walking over to me and just slumping the fish on my head, too. I glared at her, and glared even harder, when I felt my skin tingle at her smirk. Well, at least she was enjoying herself now.

She offered the other, much bigger icicle to Jin. "You wanna try, Jin?" she asked with a mischievous smile.

My eyes widened in shock. No! No!

"Oh! No, I couldn't possibly…"

I let out a deep breath.

"…Well, maybe just one," she relented, smiling nervously when she took the icicle from Mai.

What? No! She couldn't… Was she trying to get me killed? Was she maybe still mad at me for showing up with another girl? I mean, there wasn't anything between Mai and me, but Jin couldn't know that for sure, and criminals feared her, and maybe that was her way of getting revenge, and…

I dodged the icicle in the last moment, because it surely would have not hit the fish. Just focusing on getting out of the icicle's direction I moved too much to the side and felt my foot slip on the wet ground. Oh no.

I fell backwards into the fountain, yelping indignantly and flailing about to get my balance back. When the water closed over me I pressed my eyes shut and cursed.

The moment my butt touched the ground I sat up, gasping for air. Water still fell down on me from the spout in the middle of the fountain.

I saw Mai leaning in my direction. She stood outside of the fountain, perfectly dry. Her smirk softened her features immensely, and I caught myself thinking that she should smile more often.

"Now we're even," she said, when an actual grin spread on her face.

I remembered the time when I had pushed her into a fountain pretty well, and I couldn't believe she was still mad at me because of this.

"No, we're not!" I said, fighting a grin and leaning closer to her. "Last time we ended both in the fountain!" I jumped, grabbing for her arm, but she only pushed at my chest, making me fall into the fountain again.

"Hey!" I shouted after I emerged again.

Now she was holding her belly and laughed out loud, her upper body bent forward.

Jin stood next to her, actually looking sorry and worried. I smiled reassuringly at her. It wasn't her fault, it was Mai's.

I got up and out of the fountain, focusing on Mai who was still laughing on my behalf.

"I'm sorry we can't stay for chatting, Jin, but our knife thrower needs to learn some manners!" I said.

Mai looked up, tugging a strand of her hair behind her ear. "Oh? And what will you do, _Lee_?" Then she just turned and ran away.

I stood there for a moment, then I waved at Jin, "Bye! Sorry!", and chased after the crazy friend of my sister.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I shouted, and was glad when she turned around a corner to a not so crowded place. "Are you crazy? You could have gotten me _killed_!"

It didn't help calming me that Mai was still laughing! "Whatever, _Lee_," she said, breathless and amused at the same time. Her cheeks were flushed from the laughing and running, and her eyes glinted with the same perceptiveness I had noticed before, but they also seemed a lot softer than before.

I reached for her upper arm, and this time I took it. "Just stop… for a sec!"

Some teenage hormonal part of me actually just thought "Wow!". But I was mostly trying to process how different she looked like this, and that she suddenly looked way prettier and more attractive than ever before. Now, she reminded me of how she had been as a child. I hadn't thought that she was beautiful then, but her cheeks had always been this rosy, and she had always laughed, when we had been together.

I felt like this was a bit too much right now, and also in the wrongest moment ever! I would stay here, and she would leave tomorrow! Besides, what about Kilara?

Now I turned away, swallowing and letting go of her arm. "You finally seem to be _enjoying_ yourself." I curled my hands into fists, staring ahead. "I missed seeing _this_ side of you."

"Well, a lot has changed since the days I used to throw mud in your face," she said quietly, but her voice still sounded soft, and I couldn't help but turn back a bit, because I wanted to know what she looked like, when she talked like this.

Her cheeks were still flushed, but I thought that it wasn't only from laughing and running now. She smiled and showed more emotions than I had seen before, and I couldn't even see which ones they were.

Suddenly her hand touched my cheek, and I felt myself blushing a bit. What. Was. She. Doing?

"But not _everything's_ changed," she whispered, and I turned towards her, her hand also guiding me, when she came closer.

The moment I realised what she was doing my mind and reason said goodbye to let me rely on instincts.

There was no thought at all in my head, when our lips touched. It was a feather light touch, almost like a breeze, but I still noticed the dry softness of her lips, could perceive some of the taste of her dinner and the warmth of her skin. It had always been flawless, but it also felt incredibly smooth.

It was good, it was getting better and the urge to pull her closer awakened in me. The urge to deepen the kiss and to find out where this would lead.

But reason spoke then to me.

Mai would leave tomorrow, and I would stay here. It didn't make sense to do this now.

And some part of me was still thinking about Kilara. I mean, how could I kiss Mai, when in the moment in which Kilara would tell me she would want more than friendship I would leave everything and go straight to her?

I pulled away, my heart still beating fast, and my body warm with blood pumping through my veins.

Mai opened her eyes, and her smile vanished. "What is it?" she asked.

"I… I don't think we should do this. Who knows when will be the next time we will see each other?" I quickly added, my eyes widening.

She frowned. "No one knows, but…" She sighed, her facial expression neutral again. "Never mind."

And with that she turned around and walked away.

"Hey!" I shouted after her. "'Never mind'? Are you serious?"

She spun around on her heel, suddenly her face was full with a dangerous anger, her eyes only slits and her voice came out as a hiss. "What? You said we shouldn't do this, then what is your problem now? I agreed with you."

"No, you didn't. You said 'never mind' as if it would be nothing," I said lowly and in a stressed way. I didn't want any of the people in the houses around us to hear our conversation.

Her eyes narrowed even a bit more. "It's not that. I simply wanted to spare myself the embarrassment of convincing you into still doing it!"

It took me a few seconds, until I processed this. Oh.

I lifted an arm to scratch my neck, when I felt a blush spreading on my cheeks. "It's not like I wouldn't like this, but that it would only complicate my situation in life, and I don't want that."  
Looking away from me she sighed, and I nervously bit on the inside of my mouth. I fought the urge to wring my hands, but also noticed that I hated this waiting.

When Mai looked at me again, she smiled. Her smile was small, but real. "I understand, Zuko."

Blinking I hoped this was true and not a hallucination.

"I don't want to be angry at you or anything. Let's just go back, okay?" Her voice and gaze weren't as soft as before, but I still found it astonishing. I wished that everything could be easier. Why did I have to like her, too?

Closing my eyes for a brief moment I pinched the bridge of my nose, but nodded.

_**Kilara**_

Dad went back to his desk after dinner, but Nanuk insisted on keeping me company.

We played two rounds of Dust in awkward uncomfortable silence. He won both times, because I didn't concentrate on the game. I just couldn't.

Zuko was constantly on my mind, and what I would have to do to him.

Stupid Azula. She didn't only force me to hurt a friend, but also to prevent any future we might have had together from happening.

When I laid an acolyte card not even Nanuk's joke could make me smile. After the third round he put the cards away, and I could see on his face that he would try to get out of me what the princess had actually said.

"What's bothering you?" he asked. "You don't ever do not concentrate."

Frowning I looked away and swallowed. I knew this myself.

Nanuk shuffled closer to me on the carpet. "Kira, would you please tell me? I don't… I don't want to think anymore that you're arrogant."

Snorting I shifted further away, facing my wall. "I don't see how talking to you would make this situation any better," I said, trying to get rid of him. It was already late and Zuko could show up any minute. I didn't want to have to make Nanuk leave, after he arrived.

"Maybe it wouldn't change it, but it could make you feel lighter. You know, because two would carry a burden."

I bit on my lower lip, thinking about his words. There was some truth to it, which I knew from experience. Talking to Nanuk had always made me feel better and lighter, because he was always ready to share burdens with me.

"Thank you," I said, and turned around to look at him. I wanted him to know that I meant it.

He furrowed his brows. "Why don't you let me help you?"

"This is my problem, Nanuk, not yours. It wouldn't even make sense for you to help. You don't understand the situation so well, and would probably only be in the way."  
He looked hurt for a moment, but then his eyes narrowed, as if he had found something. "So there's something else I don't know about? How many secrets do you have, Kira?"  
"Only those two! And one of them won't be a problem after tonight anymore," I said, sounding sadder than I had wanted.

"You lied earlier, didn't you? You have been seeing the fire prince, haven't you?" His voice sounded accusing as he said this.

I didn't want to lie anymore. Not to him, not him of all people, but… I had to. I couldn't tell him the truth. He would never leave my side again tonight, and then I couldn't make Zuko leave.

"No, I didn't!" I snarled with enough indignation and managed to sound clearly offended. "I haven't seen him since the conquest was announced!"

"But you are still worried about him, aren't you? If the princess found out that he knows you, and if she wants to use information against him… You must be worried."

Frowning I nodded. "Yes, I am," I whispered and didn't even lie this time.

I was worried. About Zuko, about Nanuk and dad, about San and about what Azula could do to them.

He laid a hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry. But there's nothing we can do."

Sighing I nodded. "Yes, I know. Just because she's a princess she can do whatever she wants to!"  
"I bet Prince Zuko can take care of himself," Nanuk tried to reassure me.

I hoped so.

"Yeah, probably. Nanuk, can you… leave me alone, please? I'm very tired and I want to go to bed," I said quietly, staring at the floor ahead of me.

He squeezed my shoulder and I could hear him stand up. "Okay. Sleep well. You know I'm there, if you need me," he said, but still sounded a bit hurt, because I didn't tell him everything.

After Nanuk had left I shelved the cards back, and started writing down a plan what I could tell Zuko to make him leave. Should I just encourage him that his father would reaccept him? Or should I tell him that I would never want to his friend? But would that be enough? What was so important to Zuko to make him go home again?

My brain was totally empty. I had thought he only wanted his father's acceptance and prove them wrong, but if he wanted to stay here, then maybe it wasn't that important to him. But he said he couldn't go back, because he hadn't captured the Avatar and that this was a question of honour. Could I maybe use his honour to make him go back?

I turned the pen around between my fingers, while I chewed on my lower lip. Think harder! Zuko could be here any minute!

He actually came half an hour after that. Which was even worse. I might have had enough time to come up with some ideas, but because of him being late I started worrying and couldn't think about anything anymore!

I turned off the light in my room and quietly and slowly opened my door to the terrace. Sticking my head out I cautiously looked in the direction where I felt him. He stood in front of the living room door. Of course he did.

"Hey!" I said quietly.

He spun around and settled in a defending stance.

I raised my eyebrows.

He relaxed again and came over to my room. "Why are you not in the living room?" he whispered.

I grabbed his tunic and pulled him into my room, before closing the door quietly. "Because I needed a change," I said.

Sighing I turned around to look at him.

Damn, why did he have to look so good now? He looked better than ever before, or it was just my imagination, because I knew I should never see him again after tonight, and that was way too early, because I hadn't even…

Sh. Concentrate.

Zuko looked curious, his eyes a bit wider than normal, and his cheeks were deeply flushed, while he seemed not to be able to decide whether to look at me or not.

"Are you okay?" I couldn't help but ask. Dammit! Stop sounding so worried!

"Y-yeah! Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"

I looked dryly at him and raised one eyebrow. "Because you seem nervous."

He laughed quietly. "Nervous? What? Me?"

Groaning I smacked a hand to my forehead. This was going to be so much more difficult than I had thought.

"You're a terrible liar," I said and walked around him to sit down on my desk chair.

He looked a bit uncomfortable. "I know," he sighed. "It's just… My evening was very… unpredictable so far."

"Did something happen? Something bad?" I asked, feeling alarmed, and had to fight the urge to jump up.

Zuko raised his hands. "No! No, nothing bad happened! Just things that I hadn't expected! But… they won't be important, so everything's fine," he said, sounding as if he tried to reassure himself.

"Zuko," I said darkly. "Tell me what happened. You don't sound fine at all."

Sighing he slumped down on my bed. "I'm just confused," he finally admitted. Then he looked up to meet my gaze. "Can you like two persons at the same time?"  
My brows shot up. "Erm, Zuko, you… oh, you mean, I… I don't know," I stuttered, finally shrugging. Yeah, I had only liked Renshu a bit, and maybe could like Zuko in that future which was not going to happen, because he wouldn't stay in Ba Sing Se. "I never even liked someone like this," I stated, crossing my arms.

"Oh." He swallowed.

"Why? Is that what happens to you?" I asked probing to keep my feelings out of my voice.

He grimaced. "Maybe. But… it will stop." He nodded to himself.

"Who are you even talking about?" I asked, thinking that knowing he liked two other girls would make it easier to make him leave.

He scowled. "Like I'm telling you!"

"Fine, then I guess we're not friends after all!" I huffed.

He narrowed his eyes at me, and I stared back.

"It's embarrassing," he finally groaned and let his upper body fall onto my bed.

Oh man, I would miss his dramatic outbursts.

I had to get this done!

The longer I would wait the more difficult it would become. If I let Zuko stay and would make sure that San and my family weren't at home for over a week, would the danger be gone? Or would Azula just find out where we were and order to burn this building, too? Even if there were other people too in there?

"Azula doesn't know about this, right?" I asked, hoping I could steer the conversation in the right direction.

"Uh… maybe she does about one of them," he mumbled into my pillow.

Moon, I would miss him so much! My heart was actually aching and I had to fight tears.

Swallowing I steeled myself to continue. "It's just that after what you've told me about her she wouldn't react well to this, would she?"

"Probably not." He sat up again. "But only with one of them. I think she wouldn't have something against me being with the other one. Not that I want to!" he quickly added, lifting his hands.

I frowned. "Uh-uh. Then it's good. I guess she could become very dangerous. A threat from her would always be conducted, don't you think?"

He shrugged. "Yeah, definitely. I make hollow threats all the time, but not her."  
I nodded. That's what I had thought.

"I thought honour was very important to you?" I asked, smirking, still trying to prolong this.

"Yeah, but I hadn't had to act on those threats before. If you're scary enough people do what you want, and no one ever noticed that my threats were empty," he explained, seeming to be very pleased with himself.

A sad smile wanted to appear on my face, but I tried to force it down. So what if he hadn't ever acted on those threats? Normal people didn't ever threaten anyone!

"Lucky you. Otherwise everyone wouldn't be able to take you serious anymore," I teased.

He only smiled at that. "I really like talking to you."

I blinked. Where had that come from? "Why are you saying this?" I asked, narrowing my eyes.

His smile grew wider. "I was only thinking about it."

I wanted to smile at that, but I couldn't. If I was prolonging this even more, then how difficult would it be later for me to convince him that I really didn't want anything to do with him? And then I would crack and tell him why I was doing this and he would probably attack Azula and…

My eyes widened. Oh my… Was this why Azula had given me this ultimatum? Did she want Zuko to attack her? Did she want to have an excuse to imprison him after all? But why had she then asked for his help in the first place? Why going through all of this if she still wanted to get rid of him? Or maybe she was just some sick person who enjoyed things like that. Thinking about our meeting I could actually imagine that pretty well.

Oh no. I would not be the reason to cause Zuko any more harm! He would not get imprisoned for treason because of me! Not if I could help it! He would leave this damn city and live like a prince and become Fire Lord and make some aspects of our life better!

With new won determination I narrowed my eyes at him. "Okay… Well… There is something you need to know," I began slowly.

He raised his eyebrows, still sitting in a slumped manner. "What is it?"

I took a deep breath. "I've been thinking about you… and me… and what we do. Who we are… And I think it would be better if we wouldn't see each other anymore."

Now he straightened immediately. "What?"

I didn't say anything, only looked at his shocked face, fighting to keep emotions out of mine.

"Why should we do that? This doesn't make sense!" he argued.

"Of course it does! It makes more sense than being friends!" I snarled. "We shouldn't have ever tried to be friends! I shouldn't have helped you in the first place!"

The shock on his face deepened, and I felt a lump forming in my throat.

I sighed, touching my forehead and looking down at the floor. "I just think that we would be enemies at some point, anyway, and you already know how I feel about choosing you or the world's fate. And I would rather get rid of anything which could later cause complications now," I said coldly.

I could see his jaw clenching, as he swallowed. "We are not going to be enemies," he said, as if he knew the future, his voice sounding husky.

"You don't know that. You will always be loyal to the Fire Nation, and even if I hate this, I know I cannot do anything against it, and some part of me even understands it, but I would always try to do something to end this war, Zuko. I would never be satisfied with living under the Fire Nation's control."

"Kilara…"  
"No, just let me finish. In the long term we could never stay friends. I would hate for what you're standing, and I would never be happy with that." After I said it, I noticed that it was true. I had known this all along, but it hadn't been enough for me to end this friendship. I had wanted to give it a chance, but Azula had forced me to take action.

After that Zuko didn't say anything anymore.

Well, what should he say? _I would gladly betray my country for you! Please don't do this, I will not stay loyal to my nation!_

"Please don't do this," he said, and my head jerked up to meet his gaze.

Moon, I felt like my heart was breaking! Don't cry! Don't cry! Don't cry!

His eyes gleamed with desperation and sadness, but his clenched jaw and fists told me about his anger, too. Leaning forward he had supported his weight on his thighs with his elbows, and his gaze was burning. "We don't know what will come, and stopping being friends now is way too early! What if it wouldn't even be necessary?"

"No, I'm not risking it. This was nice, but it is not… important enough to me." I forced out the last sentence of what I had said, because I couldn't remember ever having lied so badly.

"And if I… would live here like an Earth Kingdom person? Not executing the will of the Fire Nation?" he asked slowly, making my heartbeat stop.

What? He couldn't mean that!

Oh moon, would he really do that? Would he do that… for me?

Before I could start hyperventilating, I swallowed and shook my head. "You don't really want that. You wouldn't be happy living like this, and I cannot ask this of you."

Since he didn't object I thought he saw that my argumentation was right. It hurt a little bit, not hearing him object, but I had also known that he wouldn't do it. And part of me had hoped he wouldn't, because it was easier this way.

"But still…," Zuko began.

I vehemently shook my head. "No! I can't do this anymore! I know you don't see it now, but it's too difficult, and I can't…" Taking a deep breath I hindered myself from uttering the next words, since they weren't true, and they were the worst words I could ever say to him.

"What?" he asked, his voice vibrating with oppressed feelings.

I looked away, asking myself if I should say it. I was positive he wouldn't argue anymore, and just leave if I said this.

"Tell me!" he suddenly snarled, and I used his anger to fuel my own fake one.

My head snapped up and I glared at him. "I just can't stand seeing you anymore! You are from the Fire Nation, and you are loyal to them, despite everything they did! You know the war is awful, but you cannot get over your wrongly planted loyalty, and that is so messed up!" I stood up, taking a few steps toward him, deciding to use now my last weapon. "How can you even think about staying in the Earth Kingdom, when you're the fire prince? Do you think anyone would want you here? Need you here? We could never stay friends, if you would stay, and I tell you that you would be far better off in this insane country of yours! At least people there agree with all your crazy opinions, and would worship you for being a prince! But here you will only meet contempt, Zuko!"

I had expected him to interrupt me, to yell at me to shut up, not to flinch every time I raised my voice, and definitely not to look up at me with large hurting eyes. The angry look on his face was only due to his scar, but I saw that he was hurt.

I only wanted to cry. Dammit, I couldn't keep this up any longer!

Swallowing, I tried to cool my features and took a deep breath.

"I don't want to see you anymore," I said, but heard that my voice didn't sound so sure, and was almost husky. "Leave! And don't come back."

Raising my chin I looked down at him, clenching my jaw and tensing my whole body to keep this act up. If I started crying now everything would have been for nothing. On the other hand, I also wanted to cry, I wanted to let go, and I wanted Zuko to react in shock and be upset. I wanted to be comforted by him, while I could tell him everything his sister had said, and that I was sorry, and that I liked him, and that I didn't want him to go! I wanted to do this so much!  
He stood up immediately, very abruptly, his lips pressed together and his hands still clenched.

My bottom lip started shaking, but I could hinder my teeth from chattering, and bit down hard on my bottom lip to make it stop.

Zuko didn't look at me, he turned around to face my door, and I could see how tensed his back was. He took a deep breath. "If that's what you really think you could have told me earlier. Then I wouldn't have wasted my time with you."

Tasting blood on my tongue I noticed that I had bit on my lip so hard to draw blood, when his words hurt more than I had expected.

I could already feel the tears, and I knew that speaking now would betray my true feelings. That's why I kept silent.

Zuko opened my door to the terrace and walked out. He didn't turn around, and I stared at him, feeling the tears stream down my face, when he climbed up our fence, then the neighbour's roof and disappeared into the night.

I broke.

_**Zuko**_

I had gone to the lower ring later, looking for trouble, looking for lost and hurt people who needed to use their fists, too.

It wasn't hard to find them there. I followed some loud voices to a pub, and looked for the tallest, broadest, and meanest person in the room. Then I bumped into him, snarled at him and demanded he should excuse himself to me.

He did. He actually asked me what had gotten me so worked up. Then I noticed he drank tea and was sitting in front of a pai sho board, his opponent and old thin man with a long beard.

That was enough. I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't take anything anymore.

How would I make my feelings, my anger, and my never ending pain end?

Furrowing my brows I let out an unbelievable breath.

"Ey, you can't talk to my uncle like that!" someone from my left suddenly growled, and then I saw a fist coming for my face.

Out of instinct I blocked the punch and from then I only saw my surroundings as if I was in a tunnel. I didn't notice anyone else around us, only this brown haired guy with tanned skin and green eyes, who was angry instead of his uncle.

His fists, elbows and knees were the only important things right now, and after some time I got it past my survival instincts into my brain that I didn't want to fight. No, I wanted to feel physical pain right now. I needed to feel something else than the pain inside of me, inside my heart which threatened to suffocate me.

For the last weeks Kilara had been my only true anchor. My only true friend, the one person I had thought would and could be there for me, whatever I did. She had stayed when she had found out who I was, and what I did, and although I had been sceptical, I had come to get used to it, to her. I hadn't questioned her actions anymore, and had accepted that she wanted to be my friend, nothing more, nothing less.

But now… I didn't have anyone.

Father… he still wouldn't accept me back.

Azula… I would be a fool to trust her.

Uncle… had betrayed me, and I already knew what little I meant to him.

Who else had ever…

In front of my inner eye I could suddenly see her. The pale pointy face, the sharp narrow eyes, and the black glossy hair.

Mai.

Mai, who had blushed and smiled, who had laughed, and who had kissed me. She had accepted it when I had told her that it would be better not to do this, and she had considered her feelings for me important enough to show them to me, even if we only would have had an evening, one night. Because she'd leave tomorrow.

I wanted to block the next punch, but noticed that I had been held back by several guys, while one had hit me. When he came at me again, I raised my legs, walked up his body, turned my upper body around, felt how my arms protested, but kept going, until the others let me go. I landed on top of one of them. I quickly drew my elbow back, hit him in the neck. Before he could fall on the ground, I straightened up, ignoring or not noticing my wounds from the adrenaline rush, as I ran over the heads of the guys who had beat me up, and some others.

Near the door I landed on the floor again, and made my escape as fast as I could.

I only allowed myself to think about Mai now, not about anyone or anything else, because otherwise I would break. I knew I would. But I refused to. I had been far too close just now, and I had to focus on not being weak.

I was panting hard and sweating when I arrived at the palace, having run from the station. I hadn't thought about sneaking back in, nor had I used my open window to get back into the palace. Getting to Mai now seemed to be more important to me than not having Azula know that I had left the palace before. Leaning against the wall in the royal wing I let myself take some huge gulps of air and steamed the sweat off my skin.

Then I jogged to my room, quickly changing into a normal dark brown tunic with a golden edge, which almost looked like a Fire Nation one. My heart beat fast and I had to swallow several times, before I walked to Mai and Ty Lee's room, lifting my fist to knock.

Pain shot through my hand, and I stared at it, feeling confused, when I saw the red bruise on my knuckles. Blinking I thought about the fight from earlier, which almost seemed like a dream now, as if it had not happened, but my knuckles, rips, spine, knees, shins, jaw and nose told me something else. Was I badly injured? How did I look? Would Mai see that I had been in a fight?

The door opened. Ty Lee blinked at me with her large eyes, before she smiled. "Oh, hey, Zuko. I guess you're looking for Mai, right?"

Frowning I nodded.

Maybe this meant my injuries weren't that grave at all.

"Mai! It's Zuko!" she shouted back in the room. Turning towards me again she pointed at my face. "What have you done? Your scar looks a bit swollen."

"Wasp bee sting."

"Oooohhhh! I hate these things, they are awful and always want to eat my cake…"

I blinked, when I saw Mai advance to the door.

Ty Lee shut her mouth and stepped back, waving at me.

"What do you want, Zuko?" Mai asked in a reserved tone.

Dragons, please don't reject me now!

"Can you come outside?"

The moment she closed the door behind her I reached for her, pulling her towards me, wrapping my arms around her, as her body was pressed to mine. She opened her mouth, looking a bit stunned, when I bent down to kiss her.

I couldn't hold back, diving my tongue into her mouth and kissed her desperately, unlike I had ever kissed before. She let out a soft sound, which actually made my knees wobble, and I pressed her even tighter against me, letting my hands wander over her thin frame a bit.

I might have treated her a bit roughly, but I figured that Mai would slap me, or cut me if she didn't like what I was doing.

But when she lifted her arms to dig her hands into my hair and massaged my scalp there was nothing left which could hold me back for now. I pressed so hard against her, pressing her against me, touching her, seeking warmth and acceptance, just something pleasant right now, something which would not hurt or cause pain, something in which I could lose myself for a while and feel good things.

Panting she drew back, but I didn't want to let her go just now, so I continued kissing her jaw and neckline.

She pulled at my hair to make me look at her. "Zuko," she whispered.

I closed my eyes, leaning my forehead against hers.

"What? I thought…" she stuttered, and I was filled with male pride, knowing I had made her stutter.

"Now. Just now," I breathed. "I don't care that you'll leave tomorrow, please be with me now."  
Her eyes widened, when she took a deep breath, and I frowned, ready to draw back to let her have some space, when she pulled my face down towards hers. Her kiss was enough for an answer.

We then went into my room, falling down on my bed and kissed, touched, clung to each other's bodies, until my desperation subsided a bit. Now I was just seeking someone to cuddle, someone to be stroked by, and someone to feel a bit more at peace with.

We started talking about our childhood, and how we had both been different then, and I heard for the first time that she had had a crush on me back then. It felt like my heart swelled, when I heard that she had liked me even then, and now still did.

My arm was draped over her stomach, and I was lying on my side, when I nuzzled her neck a bit, while she told me about this.

We didn't talk for long, because I quickly fell asleep, which was something that hadn't happened to me for a long time now. Inner struggles and insecurities, thoughts had always kept me awake, but not tonight.

When I woke up Mai was gone, but she had left a letter on the pillow for me.

_I have to get ready, for we'll be leaving in two hours. If you want to say goodbye, come to the eastern gate at eight o'clock. _

I looked around my room, looking for a clock, and noticed how it was already half past six!

Crying out inwardly I scrambled out of bed, tearing my clothes from my body, while walking to the bathroom. I let a bath in for me, heating it and washing myself quickly.

Back in my room I saw a pile of fresh clothes on the desk and put them on, before I walked outside in the courtyard to practise some firebending forms. I didn't need to have breakfast with Azula and Ty Lee right now. I knew that Mai would also be there, but I didn't want to have to deal with Azula and Ty Lee, after what Mai and I had done last night.

I kept an eye on a clock hanging at the palace wall, and made my way to the eastern gate at a quarter to eight. Servants were still busy with loading the last coaches, and I saw Azula ad Ty Lee mount one of them, talking to Mai who stood on the ground, shaking her head.

All of them were wearing Fire Nation red again.

Swallowing I kept advancing on the girl who had saved me last night.

Azula's and Ty Lee's coach took off, and I could see Mai's shoulders slump, before she turned around.

She first looked surprised to see me, but then a soft smile showed on her lips, and I couldn't help but smile back.

"Good morning," I said quietly, when I stood in front of her.

"Good morning," she answered, her cheeks blushing a bit.

My smile widened at that, and I took her hands in mine.

"Do you want to…" she began, "…ride in a coach with me? To the eastern coast. It takes around one and a half hour, and there I have to mount the ship."

I blinked shortly at her, then I nodded. "Sure. Will we be alone in that coach?"

"Yes."

My skin seemed to tickle at her answer, and I thought about the things we had done last night. Urgh, why couldn't she stay here? Or I go with her? I didn't want last night to have been our last night. I didn't want to pass on her presence, and kisses. But what I didn't want to pass on the most was the feeling of being fully accepted, that nothing about me was wrong or shouldn't be the way it was. Other than Uncle or Kilara Mai really accepted my choices, my loyalty, and my opinions.

We sat next to each other on the coach, and I laid an arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer to me. She was that tall that I couldn't even lay my chin on her hair, but our cheeks pressed together. I wondered if she didn't like having my burnt skin against hers, but she didn't complain. Instead she interlaced her fingers with mine and sighed.

Yep. This was really a position I could get used to.

"Can't you come with me?" she suddenly asked, and I felt my insides cringing.

I could try, totally, but what if it didn't work out? If father…

What if staying here would give me a better life? Maybe… I thought about Kilara, and how she had looked at me last night. There had been absolutely no emotions on her face. Not hatred, contempt, or disgust. Only nothing, until she had snarled; then she had looked angry.

Had she just hidden her feelings? Or did it mean that she hadn't totally meant what she had said?

Now that hours had passed, and I had calmed myself down in more than one way, I felt clear enough to think about Kilara without feeling this immense pain inside of me.

Perhaps her family had found out about out meetings, and had forced her to end our friendship. But wouldn't she have told me then? Or had they been listening in?

My heart started beating faster at that possibility. It did make sense to me, so I allowed myself to think about a day when Kilara would come look for me at the palace to explain herself, but…

What if she had truly meant it?

I didn't know for sure, and until last night Kilara had been one reason for me to stay in Ba Sing Se.

Father was a reason not to go to the Fire Nation, but if what Azula had said was true, after all…

Frowning I clenched my free hand to a fist. I had trusted the wrong people until now. Uncle had always been friendly to the other nations, and had never supported my quest to find the Avatar, just as Kilara had never accepted why I had stayed on the Fire Nation's side. People who were so obviously against something, which was anchored deeply within me, weren't the right people for me to trust.

"Do you think I did the right thing?" I asked Mai. "Letting the Avatar die."

She backed away a bit. "You didn't _let _him die. Besides, he was your enemy. Even though he was a child, an enemy is still an enemy. Our world is not as perfect to not put children in danger. They die all the time, Zuko. Don't think about it too much."

I blinked at her in surprise.

"What?"  
A smile spread on my lips. "I really liked your answer. And I just remembered that in the moment Azula struck him all I thought was if she got him. If he was really going down. And I felt joy that my opponent was gone." Yes, I had. I had been so surprised and so shocked that he died, because after our first few encounters he had always seemed like a lucky kid to me. Someone who managed to get out of everything, who found a way out of every fight, trap or prison, even if it was the own enemy who came to free him. When reality had settled in I had felt joy for a moment and immense relief. He was not going to haunt my thoughts anymore, and I could live in peace. But that was after I had been washed away by a wave, and had seen the waterbender with tears in her eyes, holding the Avatar's body. I had thought about how she had told me her mother had been killed by the Fire Nation, and for a brief moment I had felt shame. Shame for who my nation had took from her.

But it's not like there was something I could do.

Mai cupped my left cheek in her hand. "So, you see. As long as it felt right to you, it will be the right thing for you. Now stop worrying. I asked if you couldn't think about going home again."  
I tried to smile. "I can certainly think about it. It's just about my father…"

She raised her eyebrows. "Your father? He would be glad having you back!"

Now I raised an eyebrow. "Yeah? The son who hadn't managed to catch the Avatar, but who had let his sister kill him?"

Her forehead wrinkled a bit. "Azula said he wouldn't see you like this. She said that Fire Lord Ozai would certainly see how brave and loyal you were that day, and that you deserved to come back home."

I stared at the floor again, but felt how my hopes got up slowly.

"Maybe… But… what will you do there? Isn't your family in Omashu?"

"We still have a house in the capital. I can live there again, and I guess I will be part of Azula's royal household. As a companion."

"That sounds…"

"Awful, I know."

I chuckled at that, and let her kiss me again.

When we arrived at the coast my lips were certainly swollen, and my hair dishevelled. At least, Mai also looked that way. Grumbling, but with pink cheeks she redid her hair.

I leaned back and watched her, smiling.

Since I didn't have much experience it truly came as a pleasant surprise that I hadn't done anything wrong or stupid so far, and Mai still wanted to be with me. Maybe my instincts were good enough to make up for the non-existent experience.

Either way, I felt a bit proud of myself.

At the port I could see a large Fire Nation ship, the front gold-lined, the sign of Fire Nation royalty. The beach was very small, and only soldiers, a few ostrich horses and Azula and Ty Lee were to be seen.

Before we got out of the coach I kissed Mai again, this time a bit more slowly to remember the feel of her lips and body against me.

Then we walked towards the ship, her hands clasped around my arm, and I noticed that I liked having her beside me like this.

Azula and Ty Lee were looking at us, probably waiting for Mai to mount the ship together.

"Azula and Ty Lee are waiting for you," I said, swallowing. Should I maybe still go? After all these days thinking I wouldn't go back it felt strange to think that this was still even an option.

"Yeah…" Mai tugged at my arm, turning me towards her.

I gazed intently at her, feeling sad at not seeing her again.

She lifted a hand to stroke my left cheek, causing it to tingle. "So… Are you coming with us? With _me_?"

"I'd like to, Mai. I'm just not sure I…" I trailed off, when Azula approached us, not looking pleased at all.

I looked at her questioningly, and she put on a small smile.

Standing beside me she sighed heavily. "Poor, poor Uncle…" She looked off to the side, and I saw how he was lead into the ship, hands in shackles behind his back, and walking a bit buckled.

"I wonder if he'll even survive the way home," Azula mused.

My eyes widened and I followed Uncle with my gaze, noticing that he walked far too stooping. Hadn't I made sure enough that he had a comfortable prison cell? Why was he still wearing his Earth Kingdom upper class clothes?

What if Azula was right? I had been there to look out for Uncle in Ba Sing Se, and he still wasn't well. And on that ship no one would look out for him. And then he could… Maybe he would…

My heart started beating faster, while scenarios and scenes played themselves in my head, and I was thinking about how Uncle would be treated in a prison in the Fire Nation. What would father order to be done to him?

"Well, we must be going. I suggest you bit farewell to your girlfriend, little brother," Azula said, and I didn't even notice the hated nickname.

"No," I said, feeling afraid, and unsure, and somehow noticing how crazy this was, changing my mind just now, when I hadn't wanted to go back for weeks now. But I also knew that there was no way I could stay here, letting Uncle be all alone by himself without a person concerned for his wellbeing.

"I… I'm coming with you. I'm going _back_ to the Fire Nation," I stated, feeling as if my heart would flutter out of my chest, because it beat so fast. This was insane, this was crazy, and how would I ever know if I did the right thing, but for now it was like the only option I had. It wasn't even a choice.

My sister walked up the plank into the belly of the ship, Ty Lee behind her, and Mai and I at the rear.

"Do what you want, Zuzu," I could hear Azula flute. "It's _your_ decision."

* * *

_To all of those who had not read the comic: It was not Zuko's decision. Azula wanted Zuko in the Fire Nation, for whatever reason, and remembered Mai having a crush on him, when they had been children. So Azula thought about setting them up. Therefore, the dinner, the candles, and the Dai Li agent playing the pipa. Therewith you have all the context from the comic:)_

**_Answers to reviews: _**

_To _uchihaNaruto247_: I hope this means I wrote her just as creepy as she is in the series. I know exactly what you mean. When characters do things I don't like I normally have the urge to yell at them or strangle them, but not with Azula. She seems so little human, that even thinking about interacting with her or having to touch her would give me the creeps and send fear shivers over my spine. That's why I always wish I could grab her with a reacher and flush her down a toilet. Buuuuut let's not forget that she had a pretty hard life herself, and that her mind isn't that clear. So I mostly only pity her. But I've got plans for her in this fic. Like after the end of the series and the last comic publication. So it will still take a while.  
_

_To _Sam. HoranTurtleDuck_: Thank you! It's also good to be back, aww, I missed you, too! I hope Azula lived up to your expectations after that cliffhanger. I mean having her say these words was quite cool, but then I realised that people who would not know Zuko would have no idea what she was talking about. That's why Nanuk acted so oblivious... Unfortunately, this chapter was very serious, so there was no space for a funny Nanuk in it. PS: I have no idea what's going on with your name on this website. It just vanished from my reply to your review in the last chapter, too, and only when I integrate that space in between it stays, and it's driving me crazy. It's not nice of the site to remove your name just like that! Did that happen to you before or is it my account or computer or something?_


	17. Chapter 17

_Hi everyone! _

_I actually don't have a lot to say today, but I wanted to give all those people who reviewed a big **THANK**_**_ YOU!_**_. I am so grateful for everything I have read from you so far, because other than me wanting to get this story out of my head it is the only thing which makes me write all of this down, and of course I also like to have my work appreciated, hehe! I always squeal like a child in a candy shop, when I get a review, and I just wanted to thank you all! You are the best!_

_Also a big **THANK YOU **to all of you who have followed or/and favourited this story. I love to think that there are people out there, grinning when they get a mail saying that there's a new chapter from Yemoya, Love of Fire and Water, just the way I do whenever one of the authors I'm following posts something new. I just love this balance between reader and author, because lots of people here are both. _

_Anyway, on to the new chapter..._

_Please let me know what you think about the next chapter. I hope you'll like it!_

_I do not own Avatar The Last Airbender, nor its characters. The only chracters I own are my OCs. _

* * *

**Chapter Seventeen**

**Focus On Other Things**

**_Kilara_**

The next day I felt emotionally ill.

I managed to smile at Nanuk's jokes, and I listened to Denzai's plans for a rebellion, but my mind wasn't really there. My emotions weren't in it. Everything in me focused only on Zuko. I wondered how he was, what he was doing, if he actually left, and that I hoped he did, but that I also hoped he didn't. I wanted to see him again.

After school I didn't go to Denzai's, and I didn't ask him to come over, so that I could have a bit of privacy.

Out of habit I laid out my scrolls and books on my desk, but figured I couldn't concentrate. I was afraid of the evening, for it would tell me if Zuko was still here or not.

Well, not definitely, but I would know if he still looked out for me.

Maybe I should work on getting real proof that he and his sister were gone, if he didn't show up tonight.

My door suddenly opened, while I had got distracted and drawn flames on a piece of paper. I quickly ruffled the scrolls to cover my drawing. "What?" I asked, knowing I looked stressed.

"Are you going to tell me what secret you had until last night?" Nanuk asked, eyes narrow, still standing in the door.

Biting on my lower lip I sighed. "I don't know. Maybe in a few days, when I know for sure…"  
Nanuk's brows furrowed. "When you know what for sure?"

"You'll know then!" I snapped, standing up and walking closer to him. Laying a hand on his chest I tried to push him out. "Would you leave me alone now, I've got stuff to do!"  
My brother blinked, and I noticed confusion and hurt flicker in his gaze, but I didn't have the strength to care now. First of all, I was too stressed thinking about Azula's ultimatum. What if Zuko was still here, and our house would burn and Nanuk, Dad, and San would all die?

Snorting Nanuk turned around, slamming the door behind him, and marching away just as audibly.

Taking a deep breath I ran my hands through my hair and pulled a bit at it.

I had to get a grip.

Waiting for tonight was torture, absolute and cruel torture.

I stayed awake for long, studying, or trying to, but was always stretching my senses out for incendiaries or Zuko.

Only after midnight did I allow myself to get ready for bed, and only when the moon had already wandered a good bit did I allow myself to drift off to sleep. It hadn't been difficult to stay awake, since there had been so many thoughts and worries in my mind, but I still felt exhausted.

When Zuko hadn't come that night, and didn't come the night after that, too, or the night after that, I didn't know how to think or feel about this.

Had he given up our friendship? Had I hurt him so badly? Had he actually left Ba Sing Se? I hated not knowing what was going on, and I grew surer about the fact that I needed some proof.

"Nanuk!" I shouted a day later after school, knocking on his door.

Denzai stood behind me, looking very confused.

My brother opened the door, looking pretty pissed. "What?" he growled out.

I stemmed my hands on my hips, narrowing my eyes. "I need your help."

He raised an eyebrow. "What? Now you suddenly think I'm worth enough to help you?"

Rolling my eyes I shot a look at Denzai, wanting to see his reaction. "I never said that. I just don't want to involve other people in my mess, when I don't have to, and will you help me now?"

Nanuk glanced at Denzai. "What is it you need help with?"

Taking a deep breath I felt again for where dad and San were, making sure, we wouldn't be heard. "Let's talk about that in my room."

Rolling his eyes Nanuk groaned, but stepped out onto the hallway and shut his door.

I rolled my eyes at his behaviour, too.

While Denzai sat at the edge of my bed with his hands folded in his lap, Nanuk lied there outstretched, his legs dangling wide off my bed, and he propped himself up on his elbows, raising his eyebrows, when I turned around from putting my school stuff on my desk.

"Okay. I need to know if the fire princess and prince left for good."

"Uh… What? Why?"

"Becauuuuussse…" I puffed out my cheeks, thinking. "That'll make me feel safer."

Denzai nodded. "Yeah, me, too."

"Oh!" Nanuk groaned, letting his head fall back, so I could only see his throat and chin. "Badgermoles, Kira, you lied a whole lot better before! Try something else!"

Narrowing my eyes at him I crossed my arms, biting on the inside of my mouth. I had actually already decided that I wouldn't tell them the reason for why I needed to know this, but didn't they deserve the truth, if I asked them for their help?

"I cannot tell you," I simply said.

"I think knowing they are gone would make all of us feel safer, which is reason enough for me to help you, Kira!" Denzai explained, smiling widely at me.

I nodded in approval. "Thank you, Denzai."

Nanuk glared at my friend, and with a groan let himself completely fall on my bed. "Fine, then I guess I'm in, too. Can't say the older brother lets his little sister endanger herself, when she was already so kind to ask for his help," he muttered to himself, lying an arm over his face.

Bolting up I leapt right to where he was lying, forcing his arm off his face. "What's your problem?" I snarled.

His eyes narrowed. "Could you keep it down? I have a terrible headache."

Blinking I opened my mouth to rant and scold him for not telling me, but instead I just shot him a critical look, walked over to the water basin, and went back with a water glove, pressing it to his forehead, starting with the healing.

"You idiot," I said lowly. "You could have told me."

He shrugged, his eyes closed.

Sighing I suddenly realised how deep the divide between us had become, because of all my secrets and solo actions. I lifted my other hand to scratch his scalp a bit, stroking his hair. I knew he liked that. As I had predicted he immediately relaxed and his face looked softer.

I looked up at Denzai again. "So, how will we... What?"

"Why is your water glowing?" Denzai asked with large eyes.

"Oh, I'm healing. It's not that affective for headaches, more for wounds or illnesses, but it makes it a bit less bad," I explained.

"You really can heal a real wound?" Denzai asked, looking excited.

"Yes. But not any. I mean, if the damage is too grave, then only very great healers can do anything, and even they can't heal everything, as far as I've heard."

"Wow, this is really practical. Imagine how much that will help us for the rebellion." He sighed. "Ha, I wish we had more waterbenders. You're so cool!"

"Hey! Earthbending is cool, too!" Nanuk complained.

"No, it's mostly dry and disgusting," I interjected, thinking about the joke that waterbending was literally cool.

I could feel Nanuk rolling his eyes under my hand.

Denzai did exactly the same thing.

"What rebellion did you talk about, Denzai?" Nanuk asked, and I stiffened immediately, glaring at Denzai.

Oh moon, I had not noticed how he had mentioned it! And now that Nanuk had heard… Urgh!

"Oh… uh…," Denzai began, then he chuckled nervously. "It's just that when Kira told me about the war and everything I felt it was pretty unfair, and I've been working on a rebellion plan since then," he said, lying far better than I would have ever expected him to.

But I was really glad he did. I couldn't stomach now a pissed and hurt Nanuk. I knew it was my fault, for shutting him out of my life, but I was mostly doing it to protect him!

"A rebellion, huh?" Nanuk murmured. "Didn't think you had that in you, Denzai."

He blinked. "I'm only planning it. I would have no idea about how to act on it. But Kira has ideas, and she told me we should tell you about it, because you could be a great help."

Now it was almost getting too much. As if Nanuk would believe him now!

"Of course I can be! Don't tell me you doubted me!" Nanuk said grinning.

I frowned at him. He really fell for that flattery? Then again, I knew my brother, of course he would fall for flattery.

"Not exactly. You are just sometimes so loud and brash… I thought it would be wiser to have more level headed people in this," Denzai explained, and I actually had to grin.

"Seriously? And then you fill Kira in? She can be very hot headed and stubborn, too, you know?" Nanuk kept talking, and Denzai twisted his mouth in thought, eying me critically.

"Hey! I'm right here! Anyway, we have to talk about getting to the palace!" I argued, deciding to have lessened Nanuk's headache enough, and bent the water back into the water basin.

Nanuk sighed and put his arm back on his forehead. "Thanks, sis."

"Anytime, bro," I answered, then I looked at Denzai questioningly. "So? Any plans?"  
"Hm… I doubt there will be any festivities of the nobles there anymore, if the nobility is even still allowed in the palace. My dad wasn't even allowed to enter the upper ring. This is crazy," he added, murmuring.

Frowning I knew what he meant. The Fire Nation thought they could just turn all the rules and laws of this city upside down.

"So who's allowed in the palace?" Nanuk asked, yawning.

"Fire Nation soldiers I guess," I said. "Guards? Some politicians also have to stay there! I don't think it's just the military. Military can fight, but not govern:"

Denzai nodded in agreement.

"And the servants!" I added, thinking about how Zuko had appeared here in the palace servants' attire. That was only four day ago now.

"That's a great idea!" Denzai beamed and began to unfold the scroll he had clutched to his chest. "Wait… I think I have something which might be able to help us…" he murmured. "Ah, yes, here it is…" He unfolded a map of a huge building, looking like the actual plans to it, because one could also see the stories in there.

"Denzai!" My eyes widened. "You've got plans for the palace!"

Nanuk sat up, fighting his way between us to look at the plans. "Huh… this is even more incredible than I had thought."

"Thanks, it wasn't actually easy to get these…" Denzai started.

"Yeah yeah, you were great, but I meant the palace! Ha!" He squeaked like a girl. "Every wing, and oh my, they actually used marble, but also sandstone? And there's a lift for the food, wow, I didn't think they were so progressive… And oh, it's so huge! I could wander that place for years, studying its architecture, and I still wouldn't get bored!"

"You sound pretty enthusiastic," I pointed out, looking apologetically at a slightly pouting Denzai.

"Of course I am! This place is the coolest building I've ever seen!"

"Mhm."

"What?"  
"Nothing," I fluted, looking in another direction, but smirked inwardly at how nerdy Nanuk could become. He didn't do it often, fearing he wouldn't be cool in doing so. But apparently he had inherited some of Dad's enthusiasm towards studying, too.

Denzai didn't seem to notice this, for he still looked annoyed.

I smiled at him. "How come you've got those?"

He sighed. "My dad asked for them a few years ago. There was this project about adding another wing to the palace, and he lead it." Shrugging a proud smile began to tug on his lips.

My smile widened. "Wow! That's pretty impressive! But won't he miss those?"  
Now Denzai actually grinned wildly. "No, he won't, because these are just copies. I held them onto the window and traced them. Don't worry, they are totally correct."  
Grimacing I pulled at my left braid with my right hand. "Oh moon, Denzai, I turned you into a bad child."

He actually grinned at that. "It's for the greater good, isn't it? Besides I thought we could use them for the rebellion, so…"

I took a deep breath and felt how my heart was a bit melting for him. He had been forever such against violence and fighting, but now he was grinning because we were planning a rebellion… He truly was one of a kind.

"Alright. As long as you're comfortable with it. I wouldn't want to force you to do something forbidden," I explained, and glared at Nanuk when he snorted about what I had said.

Denzai chuckled. "It's really alright. Now…" He shifted closer to Nanuk to look at the palace plans. "How to get in and where to go once we're in?"

**_Zuko_**

When Azula had shown me my room on the first day on the ship I had already wanted to ask if someone could go back to the palace to get my things here, when I had seen a large trunk standing next to the bed.

Narrowing my eyes I had turned around to look at my sister questioningly. "What's in there?"

"Why, your stuff, things."

Frowning I opened my mouth, but she was faster. "Come on, you don't think I would let you come here without your things, did you?"

My swords. Dammit, were my swords in there, too? Did Azula know? Well, she sure as magma didn't pack it, but the servants would probably tell her about it.

Swallowing I searched for anything in her face, which could show me that she hadn't been pleased with finding those, but I could only see friendliness in her gaze.

"Wait. When did you let this be packed?" I asked.

"I ordered a servant to see to it, once you had agreed to come with us," she explained, smiling.

I hadn't noticed her doing so, and I had spent the last hours with her. I might not be good at reading people, but I would have noticed if Azula had spoken to a servant.

"I knew you would probably not think about it and forget your things in the palace. Of course, we have a tailor on board, but… Why making him work extra time?"

My frown deepened. As if Azula would actually care about the tailor.

"By the way, we have to make you new clothes," she said, looking me up and down. "Something from the Fire Nation. This," she made a vague hand gesture towards my body, "is not befitting for a Fire Nation Crown Prince."

I nodded. "Yeah, that's a good idea. Thanks."

"We'll have dinner, as soon as we're a few kilometres away from shore," Azula said. "I'm sure you'll know where to go, after having spent so many years on a ship. They all look the same, after all. Although this here is, of course, much bigger than your old rusty vessel."  
Normally I would have said something back, lashing out in anger at being provoked, but now? I was so tired that I didn't have the energy to fight with her.

"You're right, I'll find it. Thanks, I'll be there," I murmured, stepping into the room, and closing the door behind me.

Sighing I pressed my hands to my eyes to rub some tiredness out of them.

Before I allowed myself to take a nap I looked through the content of the trunk.

My Earth Kingdom clothes were not in there anymore, not even the neutral black and brown pants I had sometimes worn under my tunics. (Hadn't Azula just said she didn't want the tailor to work more?) Only a pair of black boots, my swords, and my dark grey sneaking-around-outfit were in there. Blinking I searched for the other things I had had in the bedroom at the Earth Kingdom palace. Where were the pictures of Uncle? Where were the books I had brought there from the library? The scrolls?

Anger rose quickly inside of me, but I managed to keep it at bay. If I would go straight to Azula and start yelling she would think that these things meant something to me.

How could pictures of a traitor to my family mean something to me?

I should be more careful around Azula.

Maybe I could somehow get a new picture of uncle in the capital. There had to be some.

The other picture, the one with Uncle and me, was gone, too, but it didn't bother me that much. It had been painted right after my banishment, when I had been thirteen. Uncle had said that we were doing this to keep track of how this mission would change me. I had found this idea pretty stupid, and I had hated this picture, but Uncle's hand was lying on my shoulder, and although I had looked like a murderer, Uncle had beamed. The painter had then changed my "I'm-going-to-kill-you"-expression to an "I'm-an-annoyed-teenager"-expression. Some part of me felt good knowing that Uncle had been happy, or at least, looked happy accompanying me, but another part wondered now if he had only been so happy, because we hadn't found the Avatar yet. After all, he had wanted to protect him in the end.

Curling my hands to fists I bent my head down to look at the floor.

If I would have left my ship of my own free will I wouldn't even have taken this picture with me. But along with Uncle's other picture and my Blue Spirit mask I hadn't found anything else in the exploded mess of metal which had once been my ship. Well, I hadn't exactly found the mask, I had dived for it, around thirty times, down to the seabed and looked under every once door or wall or table, digging through the mud, until I had found it hours later.

It had been a stupid idea, since my wounds had become infected, but I had needed this mask.

Did I still need it? Shouldn't I have listened to Uncle, when he had told me to throw it away?

Dragons, I wished there was some button I could press to make me stop thinking.

After putting away my things tidily I lied down on my bed and closed my eyes. I slept right through dinner.

oOo

On the first days out on the sea the tailor had taken my measurements, and had been told to make simple Fire Nation clothes for me, as well as royal clothes. I hated it.

Standing there still on a stool, while people were laying fabric after fabric over my shoulders, around my hips and my legs, and were poking me with needles, was definitely something to get me edgy quite fast. Although that was probably my own fault for not standing still.

I yelled at them quite often, and often got a tsk sound from the tailor back. I glared at him. He couldn't exactly tell me that it was my own fault, since I was royalty, but he was great at clicking his tongue and showing me thus exactly what he thought. It was pretty brave of him, I had to admit. He wouldn't dare do this with Azula or father.

I took a few calming breaths, and tried to stand still, because of course, this was what Azula and father would do. They wouldn't fidget.

For the next twenty minutes I actually managed to stand still, and the tailor didn't even click his tongue. When I was let out I was truly relieved.

Mai waited for me on the other side of the door. She looked amused.

I had spent almost all of my free time with her in the last four days and had got to know her better. She might seem bored most of the time, but a slight shift of her eyebrows, a tug on her lip corner or a twitch of her eye could tell me sometimes quite well what she was thinking. Not all the time, though, since sometimes I still had problems at finding any emotion in her face.

"I heard you complaining," she told me flatly.

I frowned. "I'd like to see you not complaining while five people poke you with needles."

She blinked. "You really think I would complain?"

I opened my mouth and closed it again. "No, definitely not," I murmured, running a hand through my hair. Then I looked up at her, feeling surprised. "You didn't wait here this whole time, did you?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Of course not. I passed by half an hour ago or so. And now I'm back, because Azula sent me to get you. She wants to talk to you."

I frowned at her and stretched out my hand to clasp hers. "Doesn't that bother you?"

"What?"  
"Being ordered around like a common servant?"

"Zuko, I am a servant to the crown. Every Fire Nation person is a servant to the crown, so when the princess tells you to do something, you've got to do it."

She didn't say it, but I thought she was considering the consequences of defying Azula.

I pulled her closer. "So when the prince tells you to do something, would you have to do it, too?" I asked lowly, searching her face, and was delighted, when I saw her cheeks flushing slightly.

"Not if it contradicts an order of the princess," she simply answered.

Now I grimaced. "I'm older than her. And I'm the Crown Prince, therefore my orders have to be more important than hers."

"They are. But I have sworn an extra oath of loyalty to her."

"And against which orders exactly are you not allowed to act, if it comes to me?" I asked, feeling a bit irritated, but also curious.

"Azula ordered me to look out for you. To make sure you're okay and not threatened. She said I would have to give my life for yours, since you are the prince, like I have to give my life for her, since she's the princess," Mai explained matter-of-factly.

Now I scowled at her, feeling angrier and very disgusted at the prospect. "I wouldn't ever want you to do that! Are you crazy agreeing to this?!" My voice got louder, echoing in the dark scarcely lit metal hallways.

Mai didn't look impressed and only gave me a flat look. "No, I'm not. I'm being very smart agreeing to this. I don't know if you understand the power you have as prince, but every Fire Nation citizen has to give willingly their life for the royal family. That you know, right?"  
My frown deepened, while I nodded. "Yes, but…"

"And it doesn't really change anything following Azula's orders. I would have to do this either way."

I swallowed, seeing her point, but still hating it. How could she be so calm talking about this? How could she even consider this?

"We have been raised very differently, Zuko," she suddenly said. "You only had to obey your father and grandfather as it is in every family. But they were and are also head of states. And every other person had to obey them, too. And you. When I grew up I knew this."  
Putting my hands on her hips I pulled her towards me to kiss her.

I wish I could be so understanding and accepting as she was.

Kissing her I felt desire rising in my body, the need to press my fingers stronger on her body and to have her flush against me. When she sighed I pulled back.

"Hey, er…" I started. "When I will have talked to Azula, would you like to meet me in my room?"

A little smile tugged at her lips and the rosy colour from before returned to her cheeks.

My heart started to beat faster. I really liked her pale skin looking so rosy.

"Okay," she whispered, suddenly coming closer and kissing my cheek.

I blinked in surprise because she hadn't initiated any kiss since we had mounted the ship.

She walked away, forcing me to let her hand go.

Sighing I made my way to Azula, but I was actually feeling happy, since I now had something to look forward to.

"What happened to you?" Azula greeted me, when I entered her office. "You look as if you had accomplished something." She sat behind her desk, leaned back, as if she hadn't done anything right now.

I frowned at her, not liking how she tried to get her nose into my stuff. "None of your business. Now tell me, why am I here?"

She twisted her mouth in annoyance and groaned, looking displeased. "Exactly because of this. Once we're back at the palace you'll have to show more manners. It's awful how you're behaving. You didn't even greet me properly," she added.

I rolled my eyes. "You're my little sister, how the dragons should I else address you? It would be very unfitting if I would bow and call you 'princess', since I'm the older one."

She smirked at my answer and clapped her hands slowly. "Good, you answered this one correctly. Just one thing, I will not address you differently, just because you'll be Crown Prince again, you know."

I very hard tried not to roll my eyes. As if I had expected that. Azula bowing to a rock was more likely than bowing to me. Besides, first I needed to know if I could be Crown Prince again. Azula seemed to think so, since she had had the tailor making new clothes for me, and now a lesson about manners?

"I have not forgotten how to behave at court, Azula. I still know perfectly well how to address who and even how to bow. I don't need this," I declined, starting to turn around to leave her office.

"You didn't even say 'thank you'."

"Why should I say 'thank you'?"

"Oh, maybe because I was so kind to be considerate of your long absence and only company by soldiers? I bet one would forget about manners there."

I took a deep breath. "You don't care how I behave around anyone but you."

"Oh no, I do care how you behave around father."

Swallowing I froze, staring at the door and clenching my fists.

"Zuko."

Closing my eyes for a moment I turned around and stared at her, hoping my facial expression didn't give anything away.

I could tell her eyes settled on my scar, and somehow they looked softer than before.

"Father will be pleased to hear what you did, I can assure you that. But you've got to stop doing what you want, unless you want to be banished again."  
I grit my teeth. "Doing what I want?" I snarled. I had tried to protect the soldiers! Our soldiers!

She rolled her eyes. "Don't act like this around him. Accept whatever he says, and whatever he decides. If something feels unfair to you, or if you disagree to something, keep. Your mouth. Shut."

"But you're not him," I interjected, not really getting why she was telling me this.

"You could practise on me," she said nonchalantly, as if she didn't care at all. Then why doing all this?

"Why do you do this?" I asked quietly.

"You wouldn't believe it if I told you," she simply said, a dark shadow cast over her amber eyes.

"What do you mean?" I wanted to know, feeling even more confused.

"Just do what I told you! I don't think you'd get away as mildly as last time. Don't ever make him lose face again!" Her voice became harder, having a commanding tone to it.

I took a deep breath in order to calm myself down. Shouting at her and setting something on fire would only prove to her that she was right. And I was not going to let that happen.

"I know that," I gritted out. "You don't have to tell me."

She raised an eyebrow. "You should practise more. I can see what you're really feeling."  
"I don't care what you see!" I snarled, not able to hold back anymore.

A smirk forced her lips to widen, although there was no amusement in her eyes.

Narrowing my eyes I turned around, opened the door, and left.

I walked straight to the training room and worked my anger and frustration off until the dummy wasn't only black, but molten. The material didn't catch fire, but it could melt apparently. Huh, I didn't know that.

"Oh!" I groaned, covering my nose. It smelled awful! I had never smelled something like that before, I couldn't even describe it! It was as if it was burning my sense of smelling.

"Guards!" I barked, stumbling outside.

Two were immediately standing in front of me. "Prince Zuko!"

I stopped, straightened, and cleared my throat. "Get rid of the broken dummy. It's polluting the air. And I would cover my nose and mouth while doing this, if I were you."

They bowed. "Yes, Prince Zuko."

I frowned a bit, not really being used to such behaviour, but I nodded and went to my room to take a shower. The exercise had made me sweating, and I felt sticky everywhere. This tunic was one of the new ones I was wearing. The tailor had been working on my clothes for the last days and tunics and shirts only made of linen had been the first ones to be ready, even though they had quite difficult looking patterns embroidered at the edges.

The training room was solely for the royal family and friends, so it was also close to our rooms, which were in the "royal wing", as Mai called it, though it wasn't a wing. Every Fire Nation ship was built facing south east, because it was the direction the palace was facing, too, just as the throne. For the most part of the year it was where the sun rose, so the left part of any ship, facing east while being built, was the more important side. It was where captains had their rooms, or nobles, or royals.

Two guards stood in front of my room, who always opened it for me, before I could even stretch my hand out for the handle. It had its perks being royalty.

"Prince Zuko," one of them said. With their masks on I always had problems figuring out who was talking.

"Yes?"

"Lady Mai has questioned to be let in your room. We refused to let her, since there were no such orders from you, Your Highness," the metallic voice said.

I could have face palmed.

"Right…" Rubbing my neck I wondered if she would be angry, although… Mai and angry? Could she even be angry? What would she do if she were angry at me? Ignore me and not talk to me?

"Uh," I cleared my throat, "for the future, Lady Mai is always allowed to enter my room," I clarified.

They bowed. "We humbly apologise, Your Highness."

Frowning I felt bad, since it was clearly my fault, not theirs. But they still acted, as though it was theirs.

"There's no need for that," I said in my princeliest voice. "Did Lady Mai tell you where she went?"

"No, Your Highness."

Sighing I wondered what to do now. Should I go looking for her? Although…

Looking at the guards I almost smirked. "Go find her and bring her to me," I ordered.

The left one bowed. "As you wish, Your Highness." And off he went.

Smiling a little bit I entered my room which looked just like my old one on my old ship, only larger with a four poster bed.

My other room had been made for a captain, this one was for a prince. Not a Crown Prince, though.

I really had nothing to do while I waited for Mai, and I found this super boring.

Without the books and scrolls and anything really important to do like finding the Avatar, I suddenly had an awful lot of free time, and I kind of hated it.

It was nice not needing to cook, to clean, to wash, to wipe the floor, or any of these other peasant work, anymore, but at least it had kept me busy. Now if I would ask for a cloth and a bucket full of soap and water, the guards would probably think I would want to wash myself, not the room.

And the room really didn't need to be cleaned. There was a servant coming every morning, while I was training, cleaning everything and changing the sheets. Every day! Uncle had actually made me do this myself on my old ship. He had said we didn't have enough budget to pay servants to do this. So two soldiers had been on wash duty every week. Once a season Uncle had made me wash my things myself. He had said that I needed to know how to feed a dragon horse, before I could ride it. I had had no idea what he could have meant.

And that's exactly what free time did to me: I was thinking too much about Uncle, what I did in Ba Sing Se, Kilara and the Avatar's waterbender. It really was awful.

I wished I could just pluck those memories out of my brain.

I still didn't understand one bit how the Avatar's waterbender could have offered to heal my scar. We hadn't really been enemies at that point, since I hadn't sided with Azula yet, but still. What I had done to them in the past, kidnapping her friend, frightening her village… How could she even have thought of helping me?

It had to be a waterbender thing. Maybe their power to heal made them oblivious to dangers coming from people, because they were too focused on healing.

Touching my scar I wondered how I would look right now if Uncle and the Avatar hadn't interrupted us. Blinking I shook my head, pressing my hand to my scar. No, it wouldn't even have been possible. This scar was reality. I would never have a whole face again, no one could heal it. Even if it had been special water from the spirit oasis from the North Pole, it couldn't be.

Seeing what had happened there, the moon spirit dying, the ocean spirit connecting with the Avatar I allowed myself to wonder what special powers this water could have had. And if it really had healing powers? Would they be so strong as to heal my scar?

Two powerful spirits had been living in these waters, the waterbender must have spoken the truth; it had to have strong healing powers.

And since she hadn't wasted it on me, she must still have it, after all…

A thought struck me.

The Avatar had died. He had been hit by a lightning bolt during the Avatar state.

Were a waterbender's healing powers, combined with the powers of the ocean and the moon strong enough to bring him back to life? To grasp his soul before it could totally escape this world? Or even to bring it back from the next one?

Swallowing I sat up, running my hands through my hair in distress.

What if the Avatar was not dead?

A dry chuckle escaped me.

If father would accept me back, and someone else would find the Avatar, then it would be me who would die.

**_Kilara_**

The Fire Nation had changed a lot in Ba Sing Se.

They had opened the city for the poor, uneducated people, and had forbidden any wealthy people to wander far from their homes. Denzai's father had worked for the king, which made him an earth royalist, thus he hadn't been allowed to enter the upper ring.

But three teenagers?

Deep sea, yeah!

I almost couldn't stop myself from grinning as soon as we had passed the guards at the wall.

Denzai and Nanuk weren't doing a good job at that, either.

Walking here I automatically remembered the first and last time I had been here, accompanied by Zuko. Looking around I noticed that I would still know how to get to the apartment he had lived in.

But… he had to be gone. And we were going to find proof to that.

Our plan was simple. We had come to the solution that sneaking into the palace would be impossible with the Dai Li around.

Therefore we had decided to stick close to the truth.

To my surprise the upper ring wasn't as guarded and controlled by Fire Nation soldiers than I had thought. There was thrice as much where we lived! How was that possible? The upper ring was inhabited by way more important people, and a lot of royalists for sure, too.

Swallowing I wondered if they were all in prison, which would also explain why the streets were so empty. There was almost no one outside, just as it had been at home after the day of the conquest.

Nanuk changed a worried look with me, but I tried to smile reassuringly. I didn't feel like it at all, and I was wondering all the time if this was the right thing to do, or if I was endangering my friend and brother.

I could have done that alone, too, but at first I had thought that the plan would require more people. And I had actually wanted to leave them at some point and do the rest alone, but they had insisted on going with me until the end.

We all tried to look as innocent and still curious as possible.

If everything was like we wanted it to be, we wouldn't even need to pass the gates to the palace.

Suppressing my nagging thoughts and fears I put on a smile, turning towards my brother and friend.

"So… I think we should try to be a bit more enthusiastic about this," I said quietly.

Both widened their eyes in alarm.

"What do you think the princess will be like?" I asked in a high pitched giddy voice. "If she'll agree to this?"

Denzai looked at me, as if I were super embarrassing. "Oh, come on. She's a princess. I bet she'll be just extremely uptight and polite," he said in a lecturing tone.

Coughing Nanuk seemed to need some time to remember what we had agreed on. "Yeah, and I bet she'll have better things to do than to answer our questions," he said in an annoyed manner, rolling his eyes.

I lifted my hand to tug a strand of my false hair (I was wearing a wig) behind my ear. "You're such a pessimist, Kona."

My brother only shrugged, and I felt again immense relief that we had decided on him to be the pessimist in the group, because as poor as his acting skills were (unless he was pressured by a certain Fire Nation princess perhaps), he could play that part pretty well.

Then he suddenly grinned.

Oh no. Why was he ruining his act?

"I mean, I know we're awesome - you two not so much, but I'm awesome enough for all three of us – but please don't be disappointed when we will be told to piss off," he added casually, and I relaxed again a little.

We all wore some kind of disguise, and we had made up characters we would play in front of the guards, so that if they had to report to the princess she wouldn't find out that I had been snooping around. She shouldn't have more of a reason to burn my family's house down.

Nanuk had been certain that wearing costumes would be enough, but I had met the princess. Even if we wouldn't talk to her directly I still considered her smart enough to put two and two together and figure out it was me when she would be told that a darker skinned girl with light brown hair had been requesting an audience with her

"It is actually a fifty-fifty chance that we'll get in," Denzai interposed, raising one finger.

I had to say, I was impressed by his act, although I had a hard time taking him seriously with the long hair.

"It is important for the Fire Nation and the princess to be accepted by the young people. Our interview will give the princess an opportunity to communicate with our…"

"Yeah, yeah, if we'll get in, then the princess will definitely only want to communicate with me," Nanuk interjected, grinning broadly and lopsided while nodding to himself in a narcissistic manner.

"You're so embarrassing, Kona," I whispered, looking around, pretending to care if someone had heard his boasting. "Please don't try to flirt with her!"

"After what I've heard she would probably grill him, if he tries," Denzai pointed out, smirking slightly, but still seemed like a know-it-all.

I gasped, pressing my hand to my chest in shock. "Is this true, Shoi-ming? Is she really that cruel?" My steps became slower. "Should we really try to meet her then?" I asked, my hands fidgeting, and my shoulders tensing.

Nanuk took a dramatically deep, annoyed breath, and Denzai frowned at him.

"Of course. She freed us from the lies, and the manipulation. Besides, as princess she probably has to be a bit cruel, so that people respect her. It will all go well, as long as someone," he glared at Nanuk, "will keep his mouth from saying anything idiotic."

Nanuk folded his arms, rolling his eyes.

I smiled weakly at Denzai, nodding. "Okay. You're right. Thanks, Shoi-ming."

"No problem, Liwei."

We had also thought we could keep this up a bit, while making our way to the palace, since there clearly would be agents trailing us the moment they noticed we were heading there. If they would know beforehand what our business would be, they would probably feel safer, and since we had been heard in a "private moment" they should think that we were telling the truth.

Of course, I didn't think we would be safe like this. I didn't consider the Dai Li as being easily fooled, but maybe this could still be an advantage to us. I mean, no one really thought that regular teenagers who were not royals or travelling with the Avatar could do anything dangerous or great, right?

I really hoped this would work. We put so much effort into this plan, having come up with it within two days, and even though I knew there were still things we could improve about it, I hadn't been able to wait any longer. If Zuko was still here he wouldn't come to me, so I wouldn't know if he was still here! And if he was, it meant that Princess Azula would burn our house!

I smiled nervously at Nanuk and Denzai, pushing my glasses back up my nose. They weren't real, borrowed from the school's drama club, just as the wigs, and in Nanuk's case fake muscles under his outfit.

Trying to merge more with my role I pushed my thoughts out of the way again, and kept bickering with Nanuk, and imagining out loud how impressive and amazing the princess would be.

My heart seemed to jump out of my throat, when we finally reached the gates. They were massive, and showed me how small I really was, and also what humans could achieve to do. I had never seen the outer wall of Ba Sing Se, which was the highest one, but this wall… It was much more decorated than the one to the middle or the lower ring. It was painted in a light red, Fire Nation flags as big as houses had been pinned on them, and there were metal spikes on the top, another hindrance to intruders. Fire Nation soldiers stood in front of it, their skull like masks on, so that nothing about them seemed human.

(The soldiers around the schools for younger children, meaning before they went to university, actually didn't wear these masks anymore. They still had the pointy helmets on their heads, but at least one could see their faces now, and if I observed closely I sometimes saw one of them yawning, or grimacing, rolling his eyes. It was very entertaining.)

There wasn't anyone other on the huge square than us, and it was pretty unnerving having to walk up all this way to the guards.

When we finally stood in front of them, they both held out a hand to stop us. "Stop!"

We stopped.

"Identify yourselves, children!"

I sighed internally. They were only thinking about us as children. That was a good thing.

Denzai stepped forward, clearing his throat. He looked a little bit nervous, but just as his role would feel. He bowed in Fire Nation style, Nanuk and I mimicking him.

"We are students of the Ba Sing Se University preparation course, and we all want to study politics later. We were hoping to be able to interview the honourable Princess Azula on some matters to show our peers that the Fire Nation saved us from oppression," he explained, very convincingly.

The guards looked at each other for a moment. Or, at least, they turned their heads towards one another.

"We wish to request an audience with the princess," Denzai ended his little speech, while I was trying to look hopeful and excited at the same time with just a bit of fear.

"This will not be possible," one of them answered.

I blinked, wondering from which mouth that had come.

"Does the princess have too much to do?" Denzai asked hesitantly.

"It is not to us to know such things."

"Then doesn't she want to meet ordinary people?" He probed cautiously, still being surprisingly charming with his shyness.

"The Princess has returned to the glorious Fire Nation, leaving Ba Sing Se in very capable hands," one of them replied stoically.

So she was gone! A part of me felt great relief, but that was not why I had come here.

"Does that mean we could talk to the prince?" I asked, speaking in a high pitched voice again, adding some breathlessness to it. Every girl dreamed of a prince, right?

"The Fire Nation's honourable Crown Prince Zuko also returned to the Fire Nation. Their presence in the motherland is of upmost importance, since they can rule this city more efficiently from the centre of the world." These words sounded as if they had been learned by heart, or as if the soldiers had been brainwashed. They lacked emotions and rhythm.

So… Zuko was gone? He really left? My family was safe?

"They left us?" I whimpered. "But… they freed us. And… who is in charge of Ba ing Se now?"

"Supreme Bureaucratic Administrator Joo Dee," they both said simultaneously.

"Can we talk to her then?" Nanuk asked, a slight edge to his tone, as if he was getting annoyed.

"We will let her know that you requested an audience. It might take a month for the request to be put through."

"A month?!" All three of us exclaimed, gasping.

The guard to my left seemed to shrug. "Six to eight weeks, actually."

"That is very kind of you," Denzai remembered to say, while Nanuk and I seemed to have difficulties to be able to process all of this.

Six to eight weeks? And who the deep sea was Supreme Bureaucratic Administrator Joo Dee?

Smiling gratefully at the two guards, and bowing I found it hard to concentrate.

Zuko was gone. He had left the city for the Fire Nation. I would never see him again.

It felt like a heavy weight settled on my heart, and I felt a lump forming in my throat. Of course, this was what I had been hoping for, but still… He had meant a lot to me.

But my family would be safe. This was more important.

oOo

"You sure this place is the right one?" Nanuk asked, doubtfully.

My arms were wrapped around me, while I was asking myself the same thing for the hundredth time. "I know this doesn't look like a good place, but it's the best we were able to find."

Denzai nodded. "We've come this far. We can't back down now!" he added, whispering.

"That's not what I was asking!" Nanuk hissed, leaning a bit forward in his direction. His attitude towards Denzai was still on the impolite side, and I had not managed yet to make him tell me why that was so.

"Nanuk!" My eyes narrowed. "This is the only place where no one could see us," I whispered, but was still feeling afraid if anyone might still be able to see, or hear us.

If we were spotted we could be thrown into prison for conspiring against the Fire Nation. We all were very aware of that.

I was ready to risk it. But I didn't want my brother and friend to get hurt in the process. I had tried to keep dangerous things away from Nanuk for far too long, and it had only made him angry at me. It had worsened our relationship. I wouldn't make the same mistake again. Not with him, or Denzai. From now on I would tell them my plans, so they would be free to choose whether to help me or not.

Nanuk nodded, his face looking grim, as he bent a hole into the ground. It almost made no noise at all.

My brother had practised bending more quietly in the last few days, so that we wouldn't directly alert people to our presence. He had done a great job as far as I could tell.

He climbed into the tunnel first, followed by Denzai. I took the time to light a torch and headed after them.

As soon as I was with them, Nanuk closed the opening over our heads again.

"You'll have to bend the tunnel in this direction," Denzai said, pointing towards the left. "And we have to go deeper."

"Alright." Nodding Nanuk settled into an earthbending stance, thrusting his arm forward, his hand formed to a fist. The earth immediately crumbled, moving back, as if it were retreating. For the next thrusts he used both his arms.

Although I knew that we were doing something important - trying to find the crystal catacombs to create a hideout and meeting point for the people of our future rebellion - I was actually very excited about this. I mean, I would go see a hundred years old ruin, totally underground, with glowing crystals! Hahaaa! If the situation wasn't so serious, I would probably say this was the best day of my life! Maybe there would still be traces, showing how the people had lived there, or why the city had been abandoned.

While Nanuk had worked on bending more silently in the last few days, Denzai and I had consulted books, searching for information about the old city of Ba Sing Se. However, there had been so little information about it that I was sure only this trip could answer my questions.

Frowning, I tried to fight against these feelings, because they reminded me too much of dad. And I would totally have talked about how nervous and excited I was to see this place, rambling all the time, but this was not a trip for fun. We had serious business to attend there.

"So, Denzai," Nanuk said after a while.

He looked up, blinking at my brother. "What?"

"You only want to be Kira's friend, right?" Nanuk asked nonchalantly.

"Nanuk!" I scolded.

"What?" he asked.

"Uh, yes? Why are you asking?" Denzai said.

"It's just that she seems to be your only friend, and normally when a boy has only one friend who is a girl he has a crush on her."

"Don't listen to him! He acts like he knows everything about everything, but he hasn't even kissed a girl yet," I teased, feeling smug because I had already kissed a boy. Two actually.

Nanuk scoffed. "Don't be ridiculous. Of course I'd kissed a girl."

"Really? Who?" I asked, still grinning, because there was no way… "Aunt Chunhua? Topaz?"

Denzai turned towards me, "Who's Topaz?"

"His ostrich horse mare," I replied.

Denzai started chuckling.

Nanuk groaned in annoyance. "No! I'm not talking about them. Yao knows a lot of people, and once we went to meet friends of him, and there were a lot of girls!" He sounded like he was smiling.

I rolled my eyes.

"They were into poetry, haikus actually, and to impress them you had to be pretty good at that."

"But you suck at poetry," I pointed out.

"Yeah, but I noticed one of the girls didn't like the guy who was hitting on her. And thanks to my detection skills I passed the right moment to make him leave, and she was so grateful that she kissed me."

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard," I said, convinced he had made this up.

"What? Why?"

"Because no girl kisses someone she just met."

"Well, but she did!"

"Still stupid."

"I agree," Denzai said.

"Hey, wait a second. Kira, I know exactly that you're a hypocrite," Nanuk suddenly shouted, sounding victorious.

My eyes widened in desperation, and I felt my cheeks getting flushed. "What are you talking about?"

Dammit, what did he know? Did he see Zuko kissing me that one night? Or did he see me with Renshu? I had thought we had pulled away fast enough!

"Er…" He stopped and turned around, smirking at me. "Just about your little "fight" with that idiot from this village whose inhabitants imprisoned me."

"His name is Renshu!" I told him pointedly.

"You were imprisoned?" Denzai asked, his mouth wide open, staring at my brother with open fear and admiration.

Nanuk threw him a sideway glance.

Oh no, I knew exactly what would come now. My brother reacted immensely well to admiration, he could sniff it like a deer dog, and once he had found a piece of it he would bury his teeth in it, and not let go.

Just as I had expected, my brother straightened himself, puffed out his chest, and lifted his chin. "Yeah. So?"

Denzai's eyes grew wider.

Well, at least this saved me form talking about my first kiss to my brother.

"Why? What did you do?"

Nanuk's smirk showed on his face, and he actually looked as if he wanted to hit on a girl.

My brother had a very handsome face. And he knew that. But I still wanted to laugh most of the time he was smirking so ridiculously. If he didn't behave like an idiot most of the time, and could actually be nice, friendly, and paying attention to one for over an hour, then I guess there would be tons of girls gooing at him.

Which was ridiculous behaviour of girls. I would certainly never do such a thing. Although… imagining Renshu with this smirk, or Zuko, I suddenly had to fight a grin of my own. Blinking I quickly fought it, flushing badly.

Urgh, utterly ridiculous.

"Oh, you know, I was just causing some trouble," Nanuk went on, while Denzai paid attention to every word my brother uttered.

"And you're doing it right now, too, because you're not continuing to bend the tunnel!" I snapped, folding my arms. "Denzai can admire you all you two want once we're done with this, okay?"

Nanuk flashed me his toothy lopsided grin. "Aw, are we jealous, because you're not the only person Denzai admires?"

"I'm not jealous!"

"I-I wasn't exactly, erm, admiring him, you know. It's just that…"

"Whatever. Let's keep moving," I said, motioning with my hand for Nanuk to continue to bend.

Half an hour and more bickering later, Nanuk finally bent away the last bit of earth separating us from the crystal catacombs.

A large room, probably a cave opened behind it, soft glow shining towards us. Moon, I hoped those glowing crystals would offer enough light, so that I didn't have to hold up the torch anymore. My arms and shoulder muscles were crying for a break.

Nanuk turned around to look at Denzai and me.

Rising my eyebrows I widened my eyes in question. "What? Go on."

Taking a deep breath Nanuk nodded, and walked through the wall.

Denzai followed right after him, while I brought up the rear. I had found it safer to have Denzai in the middle, since only Nanuk and I knew how to fight.

When I looked around I noticed that we didn't stand in a cave, but in a living room. A totally old abandoned living room, in which all the furniture was made of rock, but I could make out a couch, an armchair, a small table and shelves at the walls. I stepped further away from the entrance where the crystal light was coming from, shining the light of the torch onto a set of stairs, leading upwards.

"Wow," Nanuk breathed. "This is amazing."

I turned around to look at him, how he stood in the middle of the room, his head in his neck, staring upwards. Denzai was inspecting the furniture. Following Nanuk's gaze my jaw nearly dropped.

A bunch of crystals grew from the ceiling, illuminating this room even more.

"That's just like a chandelier," I murmured. "And so practical. Nanuk, can you bend those crystals?"

He gave me a 'Please!'-look, but the moment he tried to bend his face contorted in furious concentration.

"Is something wrong?" I asked in alarm.

"No, it's just surprisingly difficult to bend them. They are different from other earth, and I've never done that before. It works, but I'll probably have to practise it more," he said, pulling his outstretched arm back.

One crystal split in two, the pointing part falling down, right where Denzai was bent over a table.

"De…!" I never got out more, tensing all over when Nanuk stopped the crystal's fall right above Denzai's head. Afraid that making a sound would distract Nanuk I tried to be as still as possible.

Only when Nanuk held the crystal in his hand I moved towards Denzai, laying my hands on his shoulders. "Oh moon, are you okay?"

He nodded, his eyes wide, looking way paler than usual.

"That was a close call," I realised, turning to snap at Nanuk for being so careless, when Denzai already opened his mouth.

"Thanks, Nanuk," he said, but sounded as if he were panicking.

My brother looked just as shocked as I still felt, and I refrained from snapping at him.

"You saved me," Denzai went on, shaking a bit under my hands.

I quickly pulled them away.

"Yeah… Don't mention it," Nanuk said, and I could tell that he felt uncomfortable.

Raising an eyebrow I decided to take the sincerity out of the situation. "Well, at least now you can boast about something that actually happened," I tried to say in a teasing tone, but I noticed my voice still sounded short of breath.

Nanuk rolled his eyes. "Your friend almost died! And you're making a joke?"

Frowning I shook my head. "I was just trying to… lighten up the mood?"

Denzai smiled at me. "Thanks. By the way, there's no point in dwelling over this. I'm not dead, so what about getting out of this building and take a look outside?"

I smiled back at him. "Sure. I'm in."

Grumbling Nanuk walked forward through the hole, which was supposed to be a door.

On the outside it looked as if we had stepped into a street, house like buildings lining up on both sides, a lot of crystals everywhere, but apart from the sticky air nothing really caught my attention.

Blinking I kind of felt disappointed. The houses were not formed or carved in special ways or patterns, they actually reminded me more of a wasp beehive. None had a proper door, or even window shutters. They just looked like egg formed masses of stone with holes in it.

"Okay," I said, trying to get some energy back. "We're going to search the houses. If anyone finds something interesting or helpful we bring it out, and if anyone finds something suspicious, or sees Dai Li agents we back away slowly, go find the others, and get out of here as fast and quietly as possible, so that no one will see us."

Denzai grinned broadly, while Nanuk looked grim like a man on a mission, nodding.

Taking a deep breath I tried to smile encouragingly.

This was supposed to be important for the rebellion, and I really wanted it to be perfect, but looking through all of these houses seemed like a whole too lot to me. But it was necessary. One couldn't be too cautious. Prevention is better than cure.

"So, let's begin!"

* * *

_What do you think about what I let Kira, Denzai, and Nanuk do? Is it totally illogical that three teenagers are planning a rebellion? Although we're in a world in which three teeagers can also take down an entire fleet of air ships, soooo... Yeah, that's one of my excuses for this._

**_Answers to reviews:_**

_To _uchihaNaruto247_: Yeah, I know what you mean, although I think that Azula only wanted Zuko in the Fire Nation, because she missed him while he was gone for these three years. And she's really good at manipulating people, letting them think that they came up with things all by themselves. It always impresses me. If Kira had told Zuko what Azula had done Zuko would have never left Ba Sing Se. He would have gone straight to Azula, confronting her, and be angry at her at the beginning of book three, and this would be out of canon. And I actually wanted to show how important Iroh still is to Zuko, because it was him making Zuko leave Ba Sing Se, not Kira, not Mai, no, only his worry for his uncle, and I always loved that about this short comic.  
_


	18. Chapter 18

_Okay, I know this one took very long, but that was because of the end of the chapter, and the editing. And honestly, I have no idea how someone would behave while planning a rebellion in an occupied city, so I changed things quite often, and sat in front of my computer thinking for ten minutes what the next sentence should be, and pooh! Anyway, here it is, and I hope you enjoy!  
_

_As always, please leave reviews about things you liked, didn't like, or didn't understand. I'm always looking forward to getting reviews, and it really keeps me going in writing this. _

_I do not own Avatar the Last Airbender, nor its characters. The only characters I own are my OCs. _

* * *

**Chapter Eighteen **

**Hideouts and Allies(?)**

_**Kilara**_

Searching the houses turned out to be way more interesting than I had feared. After seeing that their forms had nothing special, and were not decorated, or anything, I had been pretty disappointed.

But inside… There were treasures!

The crystals seemed to have been the main light source, which was sure practical, since there had been no way to air the houses or even get the smoke out into the open. In general, this city had to have been aired somehow, but I still hadn't figured out how it had worked.

Most of the houses weren't decorated inside, or looked anyhow distinguishable from the others, but sometimes I would find a slab with symbols carved in, looking like an old form of our writing system. Although I wanted to sit down right there and try to decode the scripture, I brought the slabs out, just like we had agreed on.

I couldn't wait to read them.

They would help me understand this lost culture so much more. Maybe Dad would want to help me, although he probably already knew about this, and…

Then it hit me.

Dad did not know about this place.

Why had it not been researched?

There had been an entire city, and according to Nanuk a rather large one, under the capital of the Earth Kingdom, and there had been no scientist, or researcher, or archaeologist to come down here?

Maybe it had been forgotten. Maybe almost no one knew of it.

But we had been down here every evening in one week, and nothing had happened. There couldn't be a virus lingering in the air, or a monster sleeping under the earth. So how and why had this city become abandoned?

According to Nanuk, we still had a large area to cover, which was a very tiring prospective, but until now we had found out that there hadn't been much light down here, which was probably why nothing architectural looked aesthetic in any way. We supposed that there have been a lot of earthbenders living down here, and that the people had relied mostly on earth to do anything, really. Nanuk supposed they had bent tunnels to navigate underground and hunt their food. Other large mammals which lived in caves, or tunnels, such as wolf bats, many different insects, and probably a few smaller mammals such as a fox rabbits.

Since there were no such things as blankets, or wardrobes in the houses, we assumed that the people had mostly worn the fur and skin of their kills. It's not like there existed cave silk worms, and they could have made their own silk or woven other fabric. Nothing down here gave a hint at any sort of agriculture or herding, which was probably because of the lack of sunlight.

We had found a spring, almost in the middle of the city, and had discovered earth bent pipes leading into the houses. Nanuk had used his earthbending to open them, while standing in a very small room, reminding me of a wardrobe, and then water had rained down on him. I had stopped it, before he could become wet, and he had closed the pipe again.

This seemed to me like a pretty progressive concept, since it was just like the shower the Fire Nation had invented, only using machines and metalworking instead of bending. This shower here worked only with earthbending, and it was always cold.

The water also led to a place we assumed was the kitchen of the houses. There stood some sort of table, a cupboard, and bowls made of stone.

Since we didn't find any traces of soot, we thought that the people hadn't used any fire, so they had probably not cooked their food, or heated their water.

All of us didn't look very excited at imagining eating a raw wolf bat.

Today was Sunday, and it had been harder than usual for Nanuk and me to sneak out of the house. Dad had become a bit suspicious, I thought, although I didn't know how. We had been careful all week, and Dad normally didn't talk to us after dinner, so why should he now notice that we weren't even there then?

Denzai hadn't been able to come at all, since he had to spend all evening with his family. Since the occupation they didn't like Denzai to go out so often, which I could of course understand.

So it was just Nanuk and me today.

I loved spending time with him like this, and it felt like our relationship was really fixed. He didn't snap at me, or side commented things alluding things I had done to him, but instead was full back to tease me, annoy me, and show off.

He seemed to trust me again, and I was happier than ever. Not having been able to talk to Nanuk properly had hurt me deeply, and I never wanted to experience that again. Now we were like we had been before. A team, brother and sister, twins, thinking the same things, knowing what the other thought, us against the world.

I knew it, and I embraced its familiar comfort with all I had.

We were at the end of a street, just a wall in front of us.

"There's a cave behind the wall. Maybe another city. Or it could be empty, but it feels…" Nanuk dug his hand deeper into the wall, concentrating deeply, pressing his eyes shut. "…like there's something there."

I nodded. "Okay." I moved to the side, so he had enough space to bend.

Taking a step back he moved his arms, as if he would tear something apart, and a hole in the wall opened, still very silently. Glancing quickly at me Nanuk sighed and climbed through the hole.

I quickly followed him. While climbing through the hole, I could already see that the cave here was also lit by crystals, but apart from that it was only a cave. Standing next to Nanuk I looked around, and tried not to be too disappointed. It was a beautiful cave, after all. The crystals grew out of the ground, the walls, which seemed angular to the ground. Blinking I noticed there were several holes in the walls, as if animals had been digging tunnels down here. Or humans?

"And now?" I asked, when Nanuk stomped his foot down, and frowned.

"Hm… I guess it is further away," he murmured.

"What do you mean?" I wanted to know, stemming my hands on my hips.

"The thing I was talking about," he replied and marched on to yet another wall.

I stepped back again, watching my brother bending the earth with absolute accurate movements, which were mirrored in the straight lines in which he forced the earth apart.

The tunnel he had bent this time was way longer than the hole from before.

We walked through quickly, and I blinked when I could suddenly feel water. It was probably just another spring.

We stepped onto a square. There was no other way to describe it.

It was almost as large as the port for the refugees' ferries, but strangely, this seemed to be bent by more measurements. Square water basins, a bit too thin to be a channel, in the middle, for example.

The columns which were overloaded by crystals, on the other hand, looked naturally grown, not bent by humans.

On the walls surrounding the square were many other houses bent into the rock, only with holes for windows and doors. Stairs lead from one of them to another, and they went up high to the ceiling.

"Is this…" I gasped. "This could be like a market place, or something like that."

Nanuk's mouth stood a bit open. "Uh-huh."

Just when I wanted to walk further into the square, I sensed something familiar, then I felt the ground under my feet vibrate. My head snapped towards Nanuk, who had already settled in a defensive earthbending stance.

"It's better if we'll just hide, Nanuk," I whispered.

Narrowing his eyes at me he nodded and bent the ground to slowly sink in. In the round and narrow hole I could only see the rock walls surrounding us, and noticed that it was way darker than above. Nanuk had left a tiny hole open for air, and so that we'd be able to hear what the intruders might say.

"They're humans," I whispered, now feeling for their body water. "They move quickly."

And then we heard a loud smash, sounding as if an earthen wall had burst.

The humans scattered quickly around the place, forming a square with people in it. Two stood in front of the square.

Then they started moving. It were earthbending forms, but it seemed to me like a different style than the one Nanuk used. More stealthy, elegant, and almost soundless.

My heart started to beat faster, when I imagined them to be a rebellion group. What kind of luck would that be that we had simply walked in on them?

"What should we do?" Nanuk whispered.

"They are far enough away," I gave back. "I think we can stay here, and wait. Either until they do something interesting, or until they'll leave."

"But it's getting late. You'll need your beauty sleep," my brother complained.

I narrowed my eyes. "Not as much as you do, bat head."

"Hey!"

"Sshhh!"  
Concentrating on the movements of the earthbenders was very tiring. I had never tried to keep a "look" on that many bodies at the same time, and they were all moving so fast, and unpredictably. I told Nanuk what I could "see" and leaned back on the wall, my eyes closed.

The earthbenders stopped eventually their training, and started to wander around.

Frowning I concentrated stronger, since it was even more difficult to be aware of all of them now that they were doing all different things. I tried to put the concentration mostly on the area surrounding Nanuk and my hiding place.

"They come closer," I said quietly. "When I'll give you a sign, you'll have to bend us out of here."  
He nodded grimly.

"But first I want to see who they are."

"Rebels don't bend like that," Nanuk shot back. "So don't get your hopes up. That was definitely some sort of elite fighting troupe."

Since Nanuk knew more about earthbending than me I would have to trust him, but I didn't like to. It would have been so prefect, if they were rebels.

But he was right. They had moved way too trained, so synchronic, and almost militarily.

"Dai Li," I mouthed at Nanuk, whose eyes widened immediately.

"Maybe," he mouthed back, just when I felt quick steps coming our way.

I squeezed Nanuk's arm, looking up to the hole, holding my breath while waiting. My heart beat heavily, resounding in my ears, making my whole body vibrate, and I felt some sweat on my forehead.

The person jumped up at the edge of our hole, and I knew they wanted to jump right into it, instead of looking carefully down. I had only seconds to produce the information, but my body immediately tensed, while I prepared for anything hostile.

The person who appeared at the edge was a man who wore a long dark robe with the green insignia of the Earth Kingdom on his chest. A round pointy head in a dark green adorned his head, glinting in the light of the crystals, as if it were made of metal.

Dad's voice returned to me within milliseconds, telling us how Dai Li agents looked like.

I squeezed Nanuk's arm tighter, and he immediately created a barrier of earth between us and the Dai Li agent.

The next things I noticed was that the ground suddenly moved down, unexpectedly fast.

"Nanuk!"

"Huh?" I couldn't see a thing anymore, but my brother didn't sound as alarmed as I had thought he would.

"Are you doing this?" I shouted over the noise of earth crumbling.

"Yeah," he only said, and I pressed myself flat against the wall, giving him enough space to bend our pod like capsule through the earth.

"Are we going fast?" I asked, because it was impossible to feel.

Since there wasn't a tunnel or anything alike Nanuk had to bend the earth first out of the way or force our capsule through the ground. I didn't know how he did it, but I only heard the earth rumble, and I felt that we were moving, but I didn't know how fast.

"I'm trying," he grit between his teeth. "But I've never done that before, Kira!"

"What about the Dai Li?"

"I don't know. I'm a bit busy here, I cannot feel any other vibrations than the one I'm causing! Look yourself if you want to know if they're closing in!" he snarled, still bending.

Closing my eyes I tried to, but since we constantly changed our position it was hard to actually do so.

However, there was some water at the back of my mind, but it felt like a deep blur, no defined extremities or anything which reminded me of a body. Was it Dai Li agents, moving so fast and far away that my mind couldn't grasp them?

"Nanuk, I need more space! I need to step into a bending stance!"

"What for?"

"Just do it!"

The wall in front of me moved away, and I could widen my stance.

"Thanks!"

Moving into a bending stance, I stretched my arms into the direction I felt the water, concentrating on the push and pull and letting me feel it inside my veins.

Then I found it. The heartbeat. The push and pull I felt was conditioned by a heartbeat, and I could feel blood rushing through veins, too. I felt humans, Dai Li agents. And they were moving fast, closing in. I had never tried to bloodbend bending people, nor two men at the same time. I had only ever bloodbent one human at once, and had had to bend several animals at the same time, too, but I had never tried it with two men.

Mum had always said that it wasn't that different to bend humans from animals. Both would struggle and be afraid of it, both would try to resist and to escape. But both had water in them, and that's why I could control them.

They would get us, if I didn't do something. The next time I felt the push I grasped the water and held on to it. The agents stopped moving, and I felt relief rushing through me that I didn't have to see their shocked and pained faces. Bloodbending without seeing the victim was a lot easier, I found out.

Closing my eyes, I opened my mind completely to the foreign water in their bodies, feeling it, as if I were a part of it, then I found this one point and pressed on it.

Their bodies immediately stopped resisting, and as I let go of their blood they simply fell to the ground.

I took a deep breath, as if I had been under water and grasped onto the rock wall in front of me again, panting heavily. Without the weekly practice, Mum had always insisted on, it became sure more difficult to use bloodbending without a full moon. Maybe I should start practising it more often. After all, it did save us now.

But then a way larger blurry mess of water appeared above our heads, moving just as fast as the other two. Crap.

Nanuk wouldn't get us out of here. I had to try it.

I started with the bodies that were closest to us, and soon felt that it became easier the more agents I made unconscious. While I still had had to concentrate with the first victims, it felt more natural, almost routinely with the agents I worked now on.

"Kira! Are they close?"

"They won't get us!" I said, my voice deep as I decided to use my arms to incapacitate them faster.

"That's not what I asked!" Nanuk answered.

Frowning I tried to block him out, so I could better concentrate on the mass of agents bending above our heads to get closer to us. How did they even know where we were? Could they feel the vibrations Nanuk caused? As far as I knew there were very few earthbenders who were even aware of this skill. I only knew my brother and Toph Beifong, who could do that.

The earthbenders, however, were still too many. How many of them had been there? It must be hundreds!

I suddenly felt a little dizzy, because the air got bad, and it became warmer in here.

"Nanuk! Stop getting us down! We have to go up and south!"

"I have no idea where south is from here!"

"Keep the direction, but move up a bit. We're sinking too much!"

My conversation had abled two agents to get closer to us than any of them before, but I shortly reached out with my mind, and felt with a weird satisfaction that their bodies became limp, falling to the ground like a wet potato sack.

It was probably gravity, but the moment Nanuk bent the earth to get us up again, I could feel it. The earth pushed under my feet, as if it were forcing me to go up again.

Damn, I needed some fresh air. It was getting very sticky in here.

Because my mind was so focused on the water following us I didn't sense any other water, until it was almost too late.

"There's no earth ahead!" Nanuk yelled, just when we crashed out of a wall.

It was one of these very rare moments in life, when a situation feels like going on in slow motion. We had fallen into a gorge, another rock wall in front of us, and glowing crystals on both sides, illuminating the cave only dimly, but after minutes of complete darkness I felt blinded for a second. Rocks, Nanuk and I flew straight out of the one side of the gorge, our direction still going straight for a few seconds, before gravity suddenly did its work.

I know Nanuk and I paddled with our arms out of instinct, but I actually felt something in that moment.

There was water underneath us. A coursing river rushed to the left, sharp rocks pointing out, and the noise was deafening.

I bent the water up to catch our fall, so that we wouldn't get crushed by the rocks. The moment we hit the surface, I bent a thin layer of water around our heads, keeping the bubble stable as we slowly sank, and moved with the current.

I mostly didn't see anything down there, only heard Nanuk's terrified gasps, but I felt him clutch onto my tunic, too.

The water moved so wild, and it was hard to concentrate on the interruptions in the stream, indicating rocks our bubble needed to move around, and trying to keep the control over the bubble, while the current tried to force its way through, onto us.

I had never needed to bend so much, in so many different life threatening situations, in an environment I wasn't used to at all.

Tears streamed down my face, while I was wishing that it would just end. I wanted to be home, safe and sound, not worrying about keeping my brother and me alive. Apparently I didn't even need Princess Azula to threaten me, since I seemed to be able to endanger our lives all by myself.

My muscles began to ache, and my legs started to wobble. I wouldn't be able to keep this up for long.

"We have to…," I panted,"…get out of here! Ready?"

"Ready."  
With everything I had left I bent the wildly rushing water under us to my will to form a column to move us up.

I almost let us fall, when a very powerful wave hit us, but I managed to get a grip on the column again, when it called pull to me, tightened my grip on the water, and shifted my weight. I moved to the other side, stretching out my arms, and the column shot up, as if it were throwing us out of the river.

"Nanuk!"  
He moved his hands, and from the wall next to us a platform shot out. Widening my eyes I prepared myself for the landing. Rolling up, I spared my body any serious damage and stood up again.

Nanuk stood next to me, probably having rolled up, too, and panted heavily.

I wanted to smile, or to laugh, because we had made it! We were still alive! This was the craziest and most dangerous thing that had ever happened to us, but we made it! I felt like we would be able to achieve anything!

But then black dots suddenly darkened my vision, forming one big spot, which I tried to blink away. What happened?

Everything I heard became muffled, and I felt my legs shaking.

I understood that my body was too exhausted to work anymore, that there was too little blood in my brain to keep standing anymore just a second, before I hit the floor.

"Kiraaaa!" I could still hear my brother shouting, but it sounded as if it were far away.

Then I lost consciousness.

oOo

The next day Denzai appeared at our house after school with a bag full of paper and pens, grinning wildly.

"What's that for?" I asked. "I don't recall Prof Chiu said anything about using as many colours as possible for homework."

I felt Nanuk sneaking up on us, and I wondered if he would never understand that he couldn't sneak up on me, just how I couldn't sneak up on him.

"No, it's for flyers. I thought we should start making the people think about a rebellion with flyers," he said, after he had pushed himself into the house, making me stumbling a bit.

"Oh no!" Nanuk immediately interposed. "Kira will not participate in such things!"  
Denzai blinked at him. "Why not?"

"Because it's too dangerous," my brother said, folding his arms in front of his chest and nodded to himself.

I rolled my eyes.

"Uh, because she could cut herself with the paper?" Denzai tried, his voice higher than usual in question.

"No, Nanuk's being paranoid. That's all," I said, already bored with Nanuk's fussing. He hadn't left my side the whole last day, after I had regained consciousness still in the tunnels. He had carried me on a makeshift bed of rock, and had tried to bend us back to a safe place on the surface. I had tried to tell him to take a break, but he had insisted that I needed to get into bed straight away. Finally being home, he had tucked me in, brought me water, tea, and dinner, insisting that I shouldn't leave bed for the whole evening.

I had even needed to fight him in the morning to go to school.

It's not like I wasn't worried at all. I didn't like thinking about losing consciousness, but I was very sure it had only been because I had overworked myself. That had been just too much bending, too tiring, and too exhausting.

"Paranoid? You fainted!" Nanuk growled.

"What?" Denzai asked, eyes big with worry as he turned towards me.

Rolling my eyes I quickly grabbed Denzai's bag and walked into my room, the two boys running after me instantly.

"I had simply overworked myself, and hadn't drunk enough during the day. Nothing to really worry about," I explained and set the bag down on my carpet, sitting down next to it, looking through it, wanting to know what Denzai had brought us exactly.

"But that could happen again, if we continue with this stupid plan!" Nanuk snarled, tapping his foot and stemming his hands on his hips. "And you could this time hit your head!"

I looked up. "Okay, look. I know you're worried, but I promise to take better care of myself, alright?"  
He only narrowed his eyes.

"We defeated Dai Li agents, Nanuk! A whole bunch of them!" I exclaimed, stretching my arms out. "That's something to celebrate, so stop being so moody."

"You what?" Denzai asked.

"We didn't defeat them, we just managed to get away fast enough!" Nanuk shot back. He shook his head. "I just don't think that this will end well. We were lucky yesterday, but one day we won't be, and then…" He sighed.

I frowned, not liking how he voiced my own worries. But our lives weren't more important than the Earth Kingdom's freedom. The sooner he'd understand this, the better.

"Anyway," I said, drawing the vowels out. "What exactly did you have in mind, Denzai?"

He blinked, looking back at Nanuk, who was still scowling, and scratched his neck. "Actually… I think we should maybe wait with that."

I shook my head. "No, we already lost our possible hideout. The Dai Li are there sometimes. They trained yesterday in a great hall, and since Nanuk didn't have the time to crush the tunnels he had created before, we think they found our wasp beehives. So, we cannot just stop. One failure only means that all the other things have to work better. But it won't make us give up." I concentrated on Denzai's face, but I could see Nanuk rolling his eyes.

My younger friend chewed a bit on his lip, looking undecided.

"Let's just make the flyers. There won't be any harm in that, right? And then we could still wait with actually distributing them," I said, but then raised a finger. "Actually, you should probably leave them here, Denzai, after we're finished."

"Why?" he asked in confusion.

"Because you can't risk being seen with those. What if a soldier or an agent stops you and asks you to empty your bag?"

He opened his mouth to reply, but Nanuk cut in. "As if that would happen."

"Why not? I was already stopped by soldiers," I said, crossing my arms.

Nanuk narrowed his eyes. "What did you do?"

"I was just looking around." I shrugged, sounding nonchalantly. "Finding out where soldiers were stationed and what their task was around the school ground, you know."

He groaned. "That's exactly what I've been talking about all this time. Stop acting so suspicious. The moment this rebellion will become reality, you would probably already be a suspect, if you continue this!"

"I'm just a teenage girl. As if I could plan a rebellion."

"A teenage girl also conquered this city. I don't think that the military or the Dai Li would consider you weak, just because of your age and gender."

"But I'm not royalty. We're just peasants to them. And still. Denzai has to leave the flyers here. Or else he could be in danger." I threw him a pointed glance, and he swallowed.

"Yes, of course. Totally. Thanks for your concern." Denzai smiled weakly at both of us.

Nanuk was still pouting, and huffing indignantly, when we finally came up with some sentences to write on the flyers:

_**Free the Earth Kingdom!**_

_**Out With the Ashmakers!**_

_**Occupation Is Not an Improvement!**_

_**For the Freedom of the Earth People!**_

_**Our Government Should Lie In Our Hands!**_

_**We Are Not Na Sing Se!**_

_**We Are the IMPENETRABLE City!**_

oOo

"I can't believe we finally did this!" Denzai grinned, clapping his hands in excitement. If he were an airbender, he would probably float because of his happiness.

"Yeah, me neither. I'm glad someone," I leaned in Nanuk's direction, "finally saw reason."

My brother rolled his eyes. "I told you it had nothing to do with it. But letting you two out alone? It would probably end in disaster."

I rolled my eyes now. "More like the other way around."

"What?"

"Nothing."  
I looked around the terrace of the restaurant we sat in, observing the people on the street.

It hadn't been easy to distribute the flyers. We had all disguised ourselves, and we had to run away from Fire Nation soldiers quite a few times, when they had noticed that it was us distributing the flyers.

Some people had reacted really shocked at our boldness, or perhaps they also didn't know about the Fire Nation's cruelty, but others had smiled. Some had looked hopefully at the flyer, others had come back to pick up more, saying they would give them to others.

Of course, there was a high risk of people reporting to the fire military, but since we had been in disguise, I didn't think anyone would actually recognise us.

"So… What are we going to do next?" Denzai asked, slurping his noodle soup.

It was already evening, since the whole action had taken us the whole day. Denzai and I had spent the last day with loads of homework, so that we wouldn't have to do anything today.

"What do you mean?" Nanuk asked.

"For… you know what."

I frowned. "Didn't we agree on calling it 'the cabbage cart'?"

Denzai shot me a dry look. "You agreed on it with yourself. We think the name is stupid."

"It is perfect. No one would ever guess the real thing we're talking about!"

"But it sounds stupid! Why can't you come up with a cool name?"

"Operation volcano eruption? You know, because there's lava, and it's like hot rock, so fire and earth in a way…" I proposed, but knew that 'cabbage cart' was way better.

Nanuk shook his head. "That's too obvious. People might find out the real thing."

"That's why 'cabbage cart' is so perfect!" I snarled.

Both rolled their eyes.

What was their problem? I was totally right about the name. Just because it didn't fit their masculine longing to be cool! Urgh!

"Well, we need to find out how to get the cabbage cart rolling," I said.

"What?"

"If you two don't understand what I'm talking about, then we should talk about it in a crystal place, where it won't be necessary to use festival names," I snarled.

We had agreed on using "crystal place" for safe place and "festival names" for code names.

But my brother and friend still stared at me as if I were an idiot.

How would we ever make this rebellion work, if they couldn't even learn our code language?

"Just study our scent sheet!"

"What does she want?" Denzai mouthed at Nanuk.

"I think she wants us to take a bath," Nanuk whispered, throwing me a sideway glance.

Urgh!

It meant vocabulary sheet.

oOo

"Do you think it was okay to trust them?" Denzai asked, his hands fidgeting, while we were walking to an unknown district of the lower ring. His parents thought he was studying at my place, and Dad thought Nanuk and I had taken Denzai to the zoo.

"They didn't lie," Nanuk only said, shrugging.

I bit down on my lip, shaking my head. "We cannot trust anyone, but we can choose to believe that they really want to help."

A couple had talked to us yesterday, told us that we should talk to Guozhi, the owner of a pub in the north of the lower ring, if we wanted our "silent rebellion" to become a loud one. The woman had told us that Guozhi had moved to Ba Sing Se a few years ago, having lost everything because of the Fire Nation, and had a large net of connections to various people.

So we had decided to go there today. It was still early, right after school, still a few hours until dinner, so there would probably not be that many customers.

We had tried to look more adult today, so it wouldn't look strange to see three teenagers walking into a pub. Only Nanuk had ever been to one before, with Yao, Peizhi and Rong, and had told us that it had been loud and fun.

I had no idea what to expect of a pub, since no one had ever told me about one, and no story I had read had ever been set in a pub. It made me nervous in a very uncomfortable way, since I seldom had to deal with so unknown situations.

"I really hope this wasn't a mistake," I murmured.

Nanuk laid his arm around my shoulder. "Hey. It's still light, and we are only three kids, right? If something might happen to us, we only have to cry out loud, and some good souls will show up to save us."  
"Not if we're attacked by the Fire Nation," I pointed out.

"But that's the point of the cabbage cart. Even if we get scammed, the good thing will be that other people will notice it, probably have pity, and decide to have a look at our cabbages, and maybe even buy something," Denzai said, smiling softly at me.

It was refreshing and strengthening to see him always so positive. He really believed in this, our rebellion, our plan, and I always felt better knowing he did. After all, Denzai had a highly intelligent mind, but still believed that we could succeed. He also never wanted to fight or be a fighter, but now he was actively helping us to get rid of an occupation. And I would do my best not to let him down.

Nanuk gave my shoulder a squeeze, and I smiled at him.

Three days ago I had forced them to study our vocabulary sheet and to memorise it. The one who had fastest known everything by heart had got iced fruit juice on sticks from me. Of course, that had been Denzai, but after that we had all eaten almond cakes, and Nanuk had stopped grumbling. The vocabulary sheets were obviously burnt right after that.

We had to ask a few people on the street to show us directions to Guozhi's pub. Most of them seemed confused why three teenagers wanted to go there. Theoretically, alcohol was forbidden until the age of eighteen, but many sixteen year olds already got alcoholic drinks from pubs.

It seemed like an ordinary house from the outside, painted in green, many wooden beams within the walls, and a wooden shield over the pub's entrance, saying _"The Armadillo Lion"_.

Raising my eyebrows, I looked at my brother and friend, wanting to know what they were thinking.

Denzai's face lit up. "This is a sign," he whispered.

Nanuk's face contorted. "Why is that a sign?"  
"Is it good? Is it bad?" I wanted to know.

"It's good, very good," said Denzai quietly, nodding.

"So you've been here before or what?" Nanuk wanted to know, stretching his arms over his head.

"No. But its name. Back in the day when the four nations hadn't existed yet, the animals had travelled much more than now. Dragons didn't stay in the Fire Nation all the time, for example. They are really big and strong. Almost no one could win against them. Maybe an army, or a really powerful firebender, but it was said that large cats from the Earth Kingdom managed to take them down, too," he told us in a secretive voice.

A wide smile spread on my lips. "Wow. I definitely do call that a good sign!"  
Nanuk furrowed his brow. "But there aren't any dragons anymore."  
"It's a metaphor!" I hissed. "The dragon is the Fire Nation and the Armadillo Lion is the Earth Kingdom. Or us. Because we will be able to drive them out of our city." Keeping my voice down, I raised my eyebrows at my brother.

"Oh! Yeah, got that." He smirked, giving me a thumb's up.

Oh boy.

Then we pulled the door open, walking inside.

The room had a high ceiling, and balconies were arranged at the first floor on the walls to look down into the hall. Everything was made of a dark brown wood, making the room look very obscure. There were many dark corners for illegal business, pai sho tables, round and square tables, and the bar in the middle. Sunlight shone on it, it must have come from a window in the roof.

Except for older people playing pai sho, the pub seemed empty.

Cautiously we made our way to the bar, looking for the bartender. It appeared to be a pretty, curvy young woman, maybe ten years older than us. Her hair was brown and curly, and her light green eyes shone brightly out of her tanned skin. She wore a tight green top, which left her stomach free and the fabric of brown trousers appeared on her hips. Her hair was pulled to one side by several small braids on the other side, and her right eyebrow was pierced by a little metal ring.

"Huh, aren't you a bit too young to come here?" she asked, her voice strong and pleasant.

"We wanted to talk to Guozhi?" I asked, straightening up. "We heard he owned the pub and could help us with something," I said.

Her eyes narrowed slightly, but she continued to smile. "Well, then you've come to the right place. What do you want with Guozhi?" she asked.

"That's only our and Guozhi's business," Nanuk replied, his arms crossed.

The woman raised an eyebrow, but didn't look more pissed at my brother. She actually looked amused, as if a little kitten tried to frighten her.

"Oh. Is that so?" She crossed her arms under her breasts and shifted her weight. "Well, then it's good that I'm Guozhi."

I immediately narrowed my eyes. "Isn't that a name for men?"

She smiled. "And a family name. So, what can I do for you?"

Denzai, Nanuk and I all looked at each other, checking if we were okay with proceeding. Since I didn't get any negative or hesitant vibes from them, I turned around, feeling resolve hitting.

"It's better to talk about it in private," I said.

Her eyebrows rose a bit more, then she grimaced and shook her head. "I'm sorry, kids, but my days of freeing people from prison are over. But I think Tao Hu could help you. He lives three streets north from…"  
"We're not here because of this," I interrupted, and shoved a flyer towards her on the counter.

Denzai gasped, and I heard Nanuk cursing, but I thought I knew I was doing the right thing.

Guozhi still looked as if she didn't take us seriously, and threw a glance at the flyer. Her eyebrows quickly shot up.

Since her expression didn't give any indication whether she liked what she read or not, I tensed, and laid my hand on my water flask. Maybe my idea hadn't been so good, after all.

But then she pressed her eyes shut, and took a deep breath, pinching the back of her nose.

The move reminded me of Zuko. But just for a tiny second.

"Alright. Let's talk about this somewhere else," she said, her voice suddenly a bit deeper, as if her mood had just worsened.

"Er…" But there was nothing to ask of her now. If she led us into a trap, she could still lie to us if I asked her now what she was thinking about the flyer.

Again knowing that all of this could be a big mistake, I took the flyer back, and followed her. I tried not to look at Denzai and Nanuk, since I wouldn't be able to stand the thought, if this really was a trap, that they could get harmed.

On the right side of the bar was a door leading to a staircase and a hallway. Guozhi walked down the hallway, waving us to motion to follow her further.

Like the pub, the hallway and the staircase were solely built of wood, letting rays of sunshine through thin gaps in the construction. There were also windows, but when I looked outside, I couldn't see the street we had been to before. The only thing visible there were clotheslines.

At the end of the hallway Guozhi led us to a small office with two chairs, one desk, a fireplace, and a few bookshelves. The desk was overloaded with paper, scrolls and notebooks, while the bookshelves only contained two books and a few candles per shelf. Light shone through the shutters, giving the room a dusty end-of-the-day kind of light.

We all walked in, but had to lean against the bookshelves, since there really wasn't much space for us.

Guozhi stood on the other side of the desk, after closing the door, and sat down. Raising her eyebrows she gestured to the one left chair. "Please, sit."

Turning my head I looked questioningly at Denzai and Nanuk, who stepped forward and bent two more chairs out of the ground.

I rolled my eyes, when I sat down.

Leaning forward Guozhi studied us, her eyes narrow, as she seemed to reflect on something. "So… you three want to get rid of the Fire Nation?"  
I nodded.

Her amused smile appeared again, making me a bit irritated. "How old are you?"

Taking a deep breath I hindered myself from rolling my eyes.

"We're fifteen," Nanuk answered.

"All of you?" She asked.

We nodded.

"You're twins," she stated, nodding at Nanuk and me.

We looked at each other, but nodded. Yep, we did look very similar, and if you have two siblings who both have the same age the possibility that they're twins is pretty high.

"Could you please tell us now if you can help us?" Denzai asked, sounding polite and shy as always.

I turned to look at him, seeing his forward leaning form, his big eyes and his soft smile. At the same time he managed to look worried.

Twisting her mouth Guozhi looked us up and down. "Maybe. I won't talk to the authorities about you, that's for sure."

We all were releasing a breath I hadn't known I'd been holding.

"So," leaning forward, Guozhi leaned her elbows on the table, pressing her fingers together. "What exactly do you want from me?"

Staring into her eyes I took a deep breath. "We want to raise a rebellion. We distributed these flyers, hoping we could already stir some disturbances. But we need a plan, and we need people. We need benders, experienced fighters and strategists. We seek those people very carefully, so it does take a while, but yesterday we were told you might want to help us." Swallowing I shortly glanced at Nanuk and Denzai. "We were told you lost everything because of the Fire Nation, and had good connections. So we thought we'd just ask you."

Guozhi had laid her chin on her hands, and stared at me with an unreadable expression.

This situation made me very uncomfortable, for there was something about this woman, which reminded me of Princess Azula. It was probably the intelligence and the unpredictability I could see in her eyes. I knew near to nothing about this woman, and that made me afraid.

Sighing she leaned back against the rest of her chair.

I noticed how Nanuk bent a rest on his chair, too.

"Kona," Denzai whispered, addressing Nanuk with his fake name.

Guozhi blinked at him.

Turning towards him I saw that he tried not to look suspicious. "Can you please bend me a rest, too?"

Nanuk raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Because that would be more comfortable," Denzai answered, still talking out of the corner of his mouth, and leaning in Nanuk's direction.

I shot Nanuk a "just-do-it" glare, and turned back to pay closer attention to Guozhi.

She seemed to be amused again.

Great.

Denzai got a rest, and sighed.

I glared at him.

"So who are you anyway?" Guozhi asked. "I cannot just tell you if you have my support or not without knowing anything about you." Raising an eyebrow she pointed at the three of us.

Oh. Yeah, right.

"I am Liwei, this is my brother Kona, and that's our friend Shoi-ming. Shoi-ming and I are studying to get our UMDB, and Kona wants to become an architect assistant," I said, since I was the one of us who lied best, and who adapted more quickly to the fake names.

Guozhi's eyes narrowed a little bit, but then she only shrugged. "Okay, but why do you want the Fire Nation out? Why are you actually doing something? There are so many people in Ba Sing Se, and you're the only ones I've seen who want to start a rebellion."

"The Fire Nation killed our mother!" Nanuk hissed, his hands curled to fists.

I frowned at that. This was not my reason for wanting the Fire Nation to leave. And it shouldn't be his, either.

"They raged war on the whole world, and now they conquered the Earth Kingdom! If we don't do something, they will soon conquer the Water Tribes, too, and then the whole world will be under the Fire Lord's regime!" My brother sat up straight, leaning towards the table. "I don't know about you, but we don't want to live in such a world! We don't want to live under those ashmonsters!"

Opening my mouth I wanted to protest or to add something to not make us seem to be so full of hatred, but I saw Guozhi's lips twitching.

"Hm." She smiled, leaning back. "I think I like you kids. And there might be something I can do for you. But first, tell me your real names."

Urgh. I knew she had something in common with Princess Azula. Both had not believed my lies.

But frowning at her I shook my head. "I'm sorry, but we're going to keep our real names to ourselves. We're only children, and we revealed a lot of us to you, but we have to take some security measures."

Her gaze seemed calculating, as she looked me up and down. "Fine. Well, my first name is Cuiling. And yes, I lost everything because of the Fire Nation." Her expression changed slightly, while she frowned and her eyes got that look which one has when one is looking at something entirely else, at another place, another time.

"And do you know anyone who could help us?" Denzai tried.

Her sharp eyes rushed back at him, and a smile crooked her lips. "Of course. I know a lot of people. You know, I think I'm going to celebrate my birthday in three days here, and I'm going to invite some of those people. Why don't you just come, too?"

Nanuk cocked his head to the side. "Really, how old are you? And should we bring presents along?"

Slowly I closed my eyes and tried not to look too embarrassed, or as if I would like to call him an idiot.

"Wow. You're not of the clever sort, are you?" Cuiling asked, and I dared to open my eyes again.

Bad decision.

My brother grinned widely at the elder woman and flexed his biceps in front of her. "Nope, I'm more the brawns part of brains and brawns."

What I had not expected was Cuiling to burst into laughter, her head bent back and her hair flying, when she shook her head. "Aw man, I think I like you. Kona, was it?"

Nanuk nodded, still grinning.

"You remember fake names?" Denzai asked, and Cuiling shrugged.

"Well, I'll have to call you something."

Taking a deep breath I tried to think about the best next thing to do. We couldn't just leave, and come back in three days. There were still too many questions unanswered to us. But if we didn't want to answer Cuiling's questions, then it was dumb to expect her to answer ours.

But still.

"How do we know we can trust you?" I asked, raising one eyebrow and tried to look as suspicious as possible.

Her lips curled again, as if I amused her. "How do I know I can trust you?" she asked back.

I only shot her a dry look. "We're fifteen. We're from the Earth Kingdom. Why wouldn't we want the Fire Nation out?"

"You could have been bought or something," she mused in a nonchalant tone. "You could be war children, raised by the Fire Nation and used as spies, since you don't look like Fire Nation people." With that she leaned a bit more forward, resting her chin on her hands again.

I cocked my head to the side. "Same thing could be said about you."

She smiled again, but then shrugged. "Fine. Here's the truth. I am fully from the Earth Kingdom, no other nations. I grew up in a small village in the Kolau Mountains, but I left when I turned eighteen. I travelled around the Earth Kingdom for a while, but then I met my husband, and we settled down in the western Earth Kingdom. Four years ago the Fire Nation attacked our village, and we had to flee. My husband got captured, but I managed to make it out." She took a deep breath, her eyes once again looking at the past. "Then I did everything I could to find him, and I did, two years ago. I sneaked into a prison, started a riot, and escaped with him. But he was severely wounded from… punishments, and worn out from prison work. We went to Ba Sing Se, and hoped to start a new life here, away from the war. But I had to realise that running from this war doesn't save anyone." Pressing her lips tightly together Cuiling stared at the wood of her desk, before looking back at us.

Denzai sniffed.

Surprised, I turned towards him.

"That sounds like a true love story. How you searched for him, and you even went into a prison!" he exclaimed, looking unbelievably sad, but admiring at the same time. "That's so brave!"

Cuiling's smile didn't seem mocking or amused this time at all, but genuine, which made me believe that she was telling the truth.

I still stole a glance at Nanuk, who was frowning at her. I nudged him into his elbow, and he raised his index finger from his lap.

When he raised his thumb, it meant, that a person didn't lie. Index finger meant that they were holding back on something, and little finger indicated a liar. Nanuk and I had come up with that a few days ago. Until now I had always just been able to ask him if someone was lying, when they were gone, but now it was really necessary for me to know about it a bit sooner.

Holding something back was probably not a bad thing, I supposed. Still I leaned forward and fixed her with narrowed eyes.

"Do you have any mutual interest with the Fire Nation?"

Cuiling's face fell pretty fast, and I could tell she was starting to get annoyed, angry even. "No," she said slowly.

"Do you work for them?"

"No."

"Do you spy for them?"

"No."

"Have you got any acquaintances from the Fire Nation?"

"No."

Nanuk raised his little finger, and I wasn't sure how to react. Should I downright call her out on a lie or wait and try to find out who that acquaintance was?

I decided that I wouldn't say anything about it. It would be better for her not to know that we had a way to find out if someone was lying or telling the truth.

Since I didn't want Cuiling to become even angrier, I decided to stop it here. Nodding, I leaned back again.

"Okay. We will trust you. For now," I added, steeling my gaze.

Her raised eyebrow wasn't amused this time, either. I would actually say that she looked impressed. "What about you?"

"Liwei and I are twins, as you found out already," Nanuk began. "We were born in Gaoling, lived on Kyoshi and in Makapu Village. Then we lived in a tiny village close to Gaoling again with our uncle. Our father took us to Ba Sing Se, just a few months ago."

"You didn't say anything about your ancestry," Cuiling remarked, and her gaze turned hard.

"Our father is from the Earth Kingdom," I said. "Our mother was from the Northern Water Tribe."

Cuiling cocked her head to the side, and studied Nanuk and me. "Hm, yeah, I can see it now." She obviously had decided to leave it be, because she turned towards Denzai. "What about you?"

Swallowing he sat a bit straighter. "I was born and raised in Ba Sing Se. Until the Fire Nation occupied the city, I had no idea that there was a war. Liwei told me about everything the Fire Nation had done, killing all the Air Nomads and so on. They have disturbed the world's balance, and I am sick of being lied to, of being manipulated and oppressed. I want the Earth Kingdom to be free," he explained passionately.

Wow. I had never realised how intense his feelings about this were.

Pressing her lips together Cuiling nodded again. "Alright. You seem all to be honest. Come again in three days, and we'll see what we can do."

_**Zuko**_

I'd forgotten how much I hated the smell of smoke and coal. Oil, metal and rust.

During the days Azula and I prepared for our homecoming. She had planned a big ceremony, a gathering of people who would greet us at the port. I had asked, if Father would be there, but she had only rolled her eyes, called me hilarious.

But in the evenings, when I didn't spend time with Mai, I started to think.

What if the Avatar was still alive?

What if I didn't like it at home anymore?

What if I had forgotten how to be a prince?

What if… What if…?

That's why I had started to spend the evenings out on deck, to get some clean salty air. I had missed the smell of the ocean. Being in the Earth Kingdom for all those months, not once on a ship on the ocean, had been strange. There were things I missed about my years at sea, and some things I wished I would have never to perceive again.

Leaning against the rail I marvelled at the dark waves, the waxing moon, and tried to clear my head.

Since I'd noticed that there could be a possibility for the Avatar to have lived, I longed to be on land again. This ship in the middle of the ocean made me feel anxious. I wouldn't be able to hide anywhere, to go anywhere, if someone would find out. Not that someone really could.

I was probably the only person from the Fire Nation who knew about the waterbender having this special water.

I sighed for the umpteenth time this evening, letting my breath fly out on the ocean.

A few days ago the tailor had finished with my royal robes, and these were the only ones I was allowed to wear now. Some part of me had been excited, putting on something which was worthy of my status, but the moment I had put them on, they had felt strange. As if they wouldn't fit at all. It had been too much fabric, and I wasn't used to wearing this anymore.

I hadn't worn armor since February, and even my Earth Kingdom noble clothes had been more comfortable. The fabric scratched and seemed to tantalise my skin. I checked every night if I got some red patches or pustules somewhere, for my skin really seemed to hate to be covered by silk. Although the fabric seemed light, all those layers were heavy on the shoulders, especially the metal collars.

But out here I didn't feel so out of place anymore. The wind moved my robes, and worked as a protective layer between my skin and the fabric. The sound of the ocean calmed me, and I found myself wishing to bring the ocean, wind, and moon to my room, so that I could find peace, before going to bed. But since that wasn't possible, I had to spend my evenings out here, trying not to perceive the looks of the workers and guards.

Until now no one had called me out on the strange behaviour of standing here and sighing at the ocean. I really hoped it would stay like this.

Maybe this was also a goodbye. When I would live in the capital again I wouldn't be able to see the ocean this close. At the top of the caldera one had a marvellous view at the sea, but it still took over an hour to actually reach the beach. Besides, I doubt I would be allowed to go down there.

Perhaps we could go to Ember Island, though. If Father would allow it, of course. Somehow I doubted that Father would care about spending some private time with Azula and me at our old summer house.

When I had been thirteen, I had been sent out on the ocean, which had carried me to all my destinations. It had provided, it had raged, almost killed some of my men. It had let me live those three weeks at sea after the Siege of the North. And now it took me home again.

I had the impression that I wasn't feeling very well. Somehow nothing gave me a good feeling. Whatever I did there was something to me which felt off. And what's more, there was this constant nagging in my ear taunting me with the survival of the Avatar.

Clenching my jaw I tried to blind it out, but it got too much. When it got too much I usually visited the training room, melting one of the dummies.

Right now I wished I could get my hands on the Avatar and melt him, so that I'd know for sure that he was gone.

* * *

_So, those were quite exciting things happening to Kira and Co. right? I really hope I can keep it this way, and make the processs of planning the rebellion interesting, since I really have no idea how to do that. I'm just listening to my common sense and logic...  
_

_Please review, if you liked this! _

**_Answers to reviews: _**

_To _uchihaNaruto247: _That's exactly what I wanted to show with this! I really think that Azula cares, but doesn't know how to show it. And it's so awful to write this from Zuko's point of view, since he's dense. He doesn't notice that Azula cares. And I don't want him to be dense. But Zuko is not a good big brother, which is also one of the reasons why Azula feels alone, like a monster, or why she teased him so much in their childhood. Zuko wasn't shown as a very emphatic brother, so that's what I'm trying to do, too, although I don't like it! I really wanted him to say thank you, but that would have been unlike how he is to Azula, so, no. Sigh.  
_

_To _Sam. HoranTurtleDuck: _First, to answer your review for chapter sixteen: Well, Mai is a complicated topic to me. There are things I like about her, and I do think that her personality would fit good with Zuko's in some ways, because they are like opposites. She would calm him, and he would make her feel other things than boredom. I actually liked her, when I was little (only because Zuko smiled at her in the last episode, I didn't care about her personality back then), then I started not liking her, because I was a Zutara shipper, but then I started to like her again, valuing her personality like I mentioned above. But then I read the comics, and that's when I totally loathed her. I don't know if you read the comics, so I'm not going to say exactly what happened, but it didn't seem to me, as if Mai would have real feelings for Zuko. She said and did some things, which are simply not said and done about or to a person you love. In general, I also think that Zuko and Mai would have a hard time being a couple for their whole life, but if both would be willing to work on themselves and their relationship, then it could actually work. But both would have to change and make compromises. Ah, Mai really is important to Zuko, I just thought __it would be unrealistic having him falling for Mai and completely forgetting his feeelings about Kira. But with some time, his feelings for Mai will just get stronger. _

_And on to chapter seventeen: We aren't yet in book three territory, but only a few days away. Actually, between this chapter (eighteen) and the next one, book three will begin! There is a waxing moon on the ship, because, when Zuko and Mai talk out on deck in the first episode of book three, there is actually a full moon. So what you just read happens just two or three days before. And chapter nineteen will definitely be book three. After what you wrote, __I really thought about a name for this team, but I'm just not gifted like Sokka. "Terrifying Threesome" would kind of be plagiarising, wouldn't it? But I thought of "Teenage Bender Student Rebels", because it sounds a bit like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, which is, in my opinion, one of the coolest team name ever. The problem is only that it's such a long name. And Denzai is no bender, as Nanuk is no student, that's why I chose both of them, but somehow nothing else comes into my mind, which they have in common. But only "Teenage Rebels" would be a bit too short, and too broad, wouldn't it? What about "Teenage Rebelling Threesome / Trio"? Is that even gramatically correct? And I'm really trying to move this rebellion along quickly, without skipping too many scenes, but I think the beginning is really important. I really just want to move on with the story, until Zuko and Kilara meet again, but there's so much in between, which I just can't summarise, because that would be bad writing. So I've got to wait as much as you do... _


	19. Chapter 19

_Hey everyone! So I finally finished and edited the next chapter! I really hope I will be able to update more often from now on, since I've got holidays, but I don't want to make any promises. _

_And we're finally in book three territory! Just imagine that Aang woke up a few days ago._

_I hope you'll enjoy reading this! Please leave reviews, if you do! _

_I do not own Avatar The Last Airbender, nor its characters. The only characters I own are my OCs. _

* * *

**Chapter Nineteen**

**Feels Like Home**

_**Zuko**_

The first few minutes back in the capital were overwhelming.

I couldn't contain my joy at seeing my home again, and I allowed myself to smile. It still all looked like it had three years ago. I didn't remember how I had left the city, for it had been just two days after the Agni Kai, and I had barely been able to perceive anything.

Frowning, I shut those memories away. This would not happen again. I would be a better prince from now on.

Unfortunately, I couldn't ride in a coach with Mai, but had to sit in one with Azula on the way to the palace.

She seemed extremely pleased with herself, as she smirked out of the window.

Since the curtains were pulled to the side, we could both look out and see all the people on the street, following us from the port to the palace.

"Hm? Did I lie to you saying you would be celebrated as a war hero?" my sister asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

I blinked and looked out on the street again.

The people were all waving Fire Nation flags, there were banners held high saying our names, mouths shouting our names, welcoming phrases, that we were heroes.

But… it wasn't as cheerful as it could be.

There were no flowers, no one was smiling or laughing, the children had large eyes, looking intimidated, and stuck to their parents' legs. Some looked way too serious, and the parents mostly looked very dutiful. They all seemed curious to look at us, to capture a glimpse of the princess and the prince, to show their loyalty to the Fire Nation by shouting our names, but… I didn't feel any real joy.

Along our way a lot of soldiers stood, and it all had a rather serious, military atmosphere.

"No, you didn't lie," I said, but wasn't happy with the situation, either.

Azula glared at me for a short while, which I only returned, then she shrugged and stared out of the window again.

Thirty minutes later I saw the Fire Palace Square for the first time in three years. It was named after my great-grandfather Sozin.

I'd like to say that I had not breathed Fire Nation air for three years, either, but since I had broken the laws of my banishment last winter to follow the Avatar, I couldn't say that.

Did Azula know about this? Did Father know? That I had violated my banishment?

The royal palace looked like it always had. There were the houses of the important ministers, councilmen, and other citizens around it, there was a square, a gate, another square and then the steps to the front door.

I was totally captivated by that sight.

When I had been younger I had only seen the palace from this position, when Mother and I had come back from a trip into town or from the beach, and whenever we had come back from holidays on Ember Island. Otherwise, I hadn't been outside at all.

In the last three years there had been times, when I had feared that I would never be able to come back and see those steps, see those doors, those columns, all this red…

But today the door looked to me like the mouth of a dragon, wanting to eat me up and swallow me completely. Making me one of them.

I took a deep breath, trying to convince myself that I was ready to go in there. I was ready to become one of them.

"Are you done staring at your _home_, Prince Zuko?" Azula mockingly asked me.

Suppressing my thoughts I looked back at her and smiled. "Well, I haven't seen this in three years, Azula. I'm glad that nothing has changed so far," I said.

Her expression turned to thoughtful, as she nodded. "Yes. Almost nothing changed, while you were gone."

Once we were borne over the steps by the chairmen, the gigantic front door opened. I knew it was a mechanism behind it, and a guard just had to pull on a lever to get it to open.

The doors here were a bit smaller than those in the Earth Kingdom palace, but I didn't mind that at all. I had found all this extravagance there disgusting, after all.

Azula left the palanquin first, and I followed after her. She stood with her legs apart, hands on her hips, a smirk curling her lips, and looked as if she owned the place.

I didn't like this at all. I was supposed to become the next Fire Lord, why was she smiling like that?

She let out a sigh, and her shoulders slumped a bit. "It's great to be home again! I really hope I'll never have to go to the Earth Kingdom again. I don't know how anyone can live there." She shot me a glance. "No offense, Prince Zuko."

My hard look didn't impress her at all, but I was pleased that she didn't call me Zuzu in front of the guards.

Looking around I noticed that Ty Lee's and Mai's coach was not here.

"Where are Ty Lee and Mai?" I asked.

Azula rolled her eyes. "At their homes, dum-dum. You'll see your dear girlfriend again tomorrow."  
Time without Mai was not something I was looking forward to. Since it was still early in the morning, I became a bit anxious at not seeing her for over a day. I didn't like this one bit.

"You still remember what I told you about today, right?" Azula asked, not even looking at me, while we advanced the palace entrance.

Nodding, I followed her through the door, seeing how every guard around of us bowed lowly.

"Yes, Azula. My memory works very good, thank you," I answered.

"Good," she said. "I take it that it is okay for you to spend the day mostly to yourself? I have a lot of things to do, and I'll have an audience with Father in the evening. You still know how to get around?" she asked.

Frowning I nodded again. "Why can't you just go to your room and relax for a while? The journey was tiring, and you just conquered the biggest city in the world."

Azula sighed happily, as I had noticed she did whenever someone mentioned her conquering Ba Sing Se. "I would, but I have a far better place to go to relax."

I raised an eyebrow, because of course, I wanted to know.

Normally, I really didn't care what Azula did to relax, but back here? I would need to know everything, whenever someone seemed like they didn't want to tell me something.

"The spa?" she said, as if I were an idiot.

Which I probably was. Yep, the spa was very relaxing. But I couldn't remember her going there, when I had still been here.

"You... go there now?" I asked. "Since when?"

"Some time now," she answered, sounding nonchalantly.

"Mhm." She had clearly changed a lot, since I had last seen her before my banishment. She was much more adult, of course, and also crueller, but I still thought it was sad that I had missed her growing up a bit.

In the last days, it had become a bit easier to begin to see her as my little sister again, and not as a sadistic demon. We were nowhere near actual sibling love, that's for sure, but I didn't get envious at her firebending anymore (so much), and she didn't burn me or insulted me all the time. The teasing didn't stop, but I suspected that was just part of teenage girls and maybe sisters in general.

Finding my old room would be no problem for me, even though Azula would turn left first to get her spa treatment. I still knew everything about the palace I had known when I was a kid. I knew how to hide behind the curtains in the throne room, I knew how to sneak to the kitchens, and I knew how to open the weapon chamber. Of course, I didn't know as many hiding spots and secret tunnels as Azula, but what I had known had been enough. The Fire Nation palace was not at all as strange and complicated as the Earth Kingdom palace had been.

Our rooms were at the tenth floor, the Fire Lord's was two stories above, the highest story of the palace. The Fire Lord was mightier than dragons, and he commanded the fire and people with the sun spirit's blessing. That's why his residence was all this way up, closest to the sun.

Rooms, in which commoners were allowed, had always been in the lower stories, the kitchen in the basement. The servant's chambers were on earth level, and the few nobles who lived here with us had a tower of their own, only seven stories high.

Azula had confirmed to me that none of this had changed during my absence.

Although I had had time to prepare, knowing the whole time which room was up ahead, I couldn't do anything against the sick feeling in my stomach, the crawling of my skin, when we approached the war chamber.

Opposite to it father's portrait still hung. Or, at least, one of them. He had others hung about the palace, and one at the royal gallery, where you could see all the Fire Lords back to thirteen hundred years before our time. Of course, the very old paintings or those of not very important Fire Lords didn't hang there anymore, and some had also had to be repainted.

Staring at the painting I thought it didn't look like him at all. Father's face wasn't that hard, and his lips were always pale, and never curled in this disgusted way. When Father was disgusted, he used to simply scowl.

"Zuko?" Azula asked.

"It doesn't look like him at all," I said, noticing my voice was husky again. I had cleared my throat over a hundred times since I had gone through voice break, but it had never worked, and I hadn't got used to this raspy voice yet.

Azula stepped next to me, looking up at the portrait of our father, too. "You're right. He's looking too mild."

That's when I glanced at her, unbelievably, since it was just the other way around! The portrait didn't look mild at all.

But I chose to stay silent, and continued to walk towards the entrance of the royal tower.

Azula said goodbye to me, when we reached the fourth floor in the lift, going off to the spa.

Swallowing I stood as straight as possible, until the lift halted at the tenth floor.

These were the hallways of my childhood. And they were all empty.

I didn't hear anyone talking, nor did I hear footsteps. It seemed as if it had been abandoned.

Azula had to live here all by herself for the last three years! That couldn't have been good for her, being so alone, only having servants around.

Tensing up, I marched on to my room, half expecting guards to stop me and tell me I was still banished, getting thrown into prison. Maybe seeing Father giving me another scar.

Clenching my fists I stayed extremely wary, and paid attention to any shade, corner or metal pipe at the ceiling. My whole body was tense, and the armor I wore suddenly felt uncomfortable, and as if it would be in the way, should it come to a fight.

I'd have to get out of the palace very fast, if this had only been a trap.

I didn't want to think that Azula would have known, but I was still not convinced that father would welcome me back.

When I got closer to my room I suddenly could hear something. Footsteps. Hushed voices. Metal clattering.

Shit.

There were no guards standing in front of my room, so I knew I could open the doors, without anyone knowing I was here first.

Pushing them open, I jumped into the room, wishing I had my swords, but settled into a defensive firebending stance, lighting fire daggers in my fists.

That shocked the servants unpacking my things pretty much.

One even cried out and ran to the bathroom, shutting the door behind her, while all the others turned towards me with frightened expressions.

Blinking I quickly let the daggers go out and stood straight again, wanting to scratch my head, but my hair was pulled into a topknot, which I would clearly never get used to, and scratching one's hair wasn't very princely behaviour. So I cleared my throat.

"I apologise. I didn't know of servants being here, and…" Unpacking my things. "I should have thought of that," I murmured as an afterthought.

But how had my stuff come here so quickly? Hadn't we been the first to embark the ship?

A woman in her late thirties or early forties stepped closer, frowning at me. "And who are you exactly to come into the prince's room like that?" she demanded to know.

"I _am _the prince," I said clearly.

An old servant, looking as if he could really need a walking stick, took some wobbly steps towards me. "I remember Prince Zuko! He had a very kind and friendly face. And you're not him, so out with you!" he snarled.

Now they had clearly shocked me. I had definitely not expected people not to know who I was!

I blinked a few times, still feeling baffled, when anger finally hit. Curling my hands into fists I took a step forward to the old man.

He held himself tall, trying not to get intimidated.

I narrowed my eyes. "If you knew the prince, then you clearly know he got a very huge, ugly burn on the left side of his face from the Agni Kai he refused to fight with his father, and therefore was banished!" I yelled, pointing at my own face.

The old man raised one eyebrow. "I don't know of any Agni Kai."

I opened my mouth to probably snarl something, when the woman who had spoken before, quickly stepped in front of the man, bowing lowly to me. "Please forgive him, Your Highness. His memory gets bad with age."

Frowning I decided not to snarl, and stepped back to give them more space. "Perhaps it would be time for him to retire then," I proposed.

"Ha, and whose money will pay our house, hm?" the old man flared, his jaw clenched and gesturing around with his fists.

This was clearly not a comfortable conversation, and I hated being reminded of the wealth around us, what now belonged partly to me again.

But I knew how the man felt, and I wanted to remember him, to find some solution to this. Maybe I could look into the servants' salary and work in general. For this old man unpacking things clearly wasn't the best work in the world, so there might be others not working what suited them, too.

But now, I couldn't take care of that.

"Be careful how you talk to me, old man," I said quietly, threateningly.

If the people in the room hadn't already been stock-still, they would have been now.

The man gulped, but bowed then, too. "Of course, Your Highness."

I only wanted a place where I could take off my armor and relax for a while, maybe meditating, but with the servants here that would be difficult. I could just wait for them to finish, but then I wouldn't have any privacy. I could also go out on the balcony, but then I would be outside on the balcony.

"You can leave now," I told them.

The old man raised an eyebrow, but bowed to me, as did the others, except for the woman. She looked back at the trunk and my clothes the servants had spread on the bed to fold them. "Are you sure you don't want us to clean up?" she asked, her voice thoughtful and soft.

Frowning I shook my head. "No. Go. I wish to be alone."

That's when she bowed, and hurried after the others out of the room.

"And get some guards up here!" I shouted after them.

_**Kilara**_

Cuiling's "birthday" was a very good party.

The whole pub was full with people, everyone drinking, gambling, some eating and some were actually dancing. There was no one playing instruments, but the people simply sang something, while dancing. I didn't know any of the songs, and I felt incredibly uncomfortable in general.

This place was so loud and unfocused that I couldn't think well.

The whole evening Cuiling had introduced the three of us to a bunch of people, all apparently very interested and very useful in a rebellion. We had given every one of them a bunch of flyers, telling them they should give them to trustworthy people, saying there would be a meeting in the Armadillo Lion in two days at nine pm for those who wanted to participate in the rebellion.

It was marvellous how many different people Cuiling knew, and I wondered how she had got to know two high ranking military officers, one wealthy upper ring citizen, and one politician. How she knew all those soldiers seemed pretty obvious to me, let alone the refugees, since her life was here in the lower ring.

I would have to ask her about that later, because now I was just filled with hope and happiness, even though I didn't like my surroundings too much. Knowing all those laughter, cries and scramble would only help to conceal what it was we were really doing, I tried to appreciate it.

Some people had already tried to sit down, actually wanting to play pai sho (because we sat at a pai sho table, but I didn't know why), when Cuiling had asked them with a friendly smile to leave. She was, in general, much more impressive than I had thought, and I found myself admiring her, wanting to be more like her.

After a young earthbender, the eighth person we had talked to that evening, had left our table I leaned towards my brother, saying: "Don't you think it's a little bit strange how Cuiling knows all those people?"

Nanuk rolled his eyes. "You worry too much. Just be grateful for her help!" he murmured, raising an eyebrow at me.

Narrowing my eyes at him I sighed. "I am grateful, but all of this feels just too easy."

"You're always so paranoid," Nanuk complained and grabbed his drink, downing a few sips.

Denzai looked at me with a raised eyebrow, as a young man approached our table.

He bowed to us, hands in the sleeves of his long green tunic. I only noticed him then, watching him straightening himself again. His headband, which covered his hair and forehead, made me think immediately of a pirate, and I became wary of him in an instant. I wanted to look around for Cuiling, so that she would tell him to leave.

The man's expression was a friendly, but serious one. "Cuiling told me to come here to teach you a bit of the garden's secrets." His face didn't seem threatening or negative in any way with its oval form, angular jaw, and smoky skin. It had a darker complexion, like Nanuk's and mine had, but seemed a bit greyer, which didn't look sickly, just different.

"What?" Nanuk simply said.

I raised my eyebrows, looking around for her, but couldn't find Cuiling in the crowd.

The man nodded towards the chair in front of us. "May I?"

Denzai smiled. "Of course, please, take a seat."

Headband smiled at him and sat down, looking expectantly at all three of us.

I raised an eyebrow. "What's your name?" I asked.

The man smiled. "My name is Lee," he introduced himself.

Honestly, I would not ever believe anyone again, saying his name was Lee.

I answered him with a lifted corner of my mouth, not believing him one bit. "Yeah, and what do you want, _Lee_?"

He made a hand gesture over the pai sho board. "Do you know how to play?" he asked.

Nanuk looked at me, and I looked at Denzai, who nodded. Since Nanuk was the one sitting in the middle, they changed their seats, so that Denzai could face Lee and sat on the right spot for a game of pai sho.

I had never learnt how to play pai sho myself, but I knew that Dad had always liked it. He had wanted to teach me, but Mum had always intervened, saying my waterbending training was more important. I should probably ask him again to teach me, now that I could schedule waterbending for me as I wanted to.

Lee pointed at a pai sho tile showing a pale brownish flower with a red dot in the middle. "Lay the white lotus tile in the middle," he instructed Denzai.

"Uh… So we're not really playing?" my friend asked, looking confused, hand hovering above the tiles.

Lee shook his head. "Like I said I'm here to teach you something." His gaze travelled to Nanuk and me. "All of you. You better pay attention."

I raised my eyebrows, but leaned forward, watching Denzai putting the white lotus tile in the middle of the board. It confused me that it was called "white" lotus tile, since its colour on the tile wasn't white at all.

Attentively I watched how Lee told Denzai which tile to lay where, and I quickly noticed that they were going to lay a form on the board. Their tiles would connect to one another in just a few draws.

I tried to remember which tile they laid where, but it was just so many different ones. I also couldn't recognise any order or harmony in their arrangement, which made it difficult to memorise the tiles' positions.

When they were done the tiles formed a flower, probably a lotus flower.

We all waited for Lee to say something, but he simply looked at us, as if we had to say something.

"Now what does it mean?" I asked impatiently, gesturing towards the game board.

Lee pointed at the white lotus tile. "Those who favour the white lotus gambit cling to the ancient ways. They can always find a friend," he said, as if he were reciting something.

My frown only deepened at that. What the tsunami did that mean?

"And how can that help us?" Nanuk snarled. "This is just an old people game, and we need recruits!"

I kicked at his shins under the table.

His eyes widened and he grinned sheepishly at me, while I fought the urge to snarl that he should better tell everyone of our rebellion plan. Moon, why was he like this?

Lee smiled again. "You will know of its use, when the time comes. Say you're a friend of Lee's, and we will make an exception." With that he simply rose and walked away.

"What. On Earth. Was that?" Denzai asked, looking as confused as we were.

I wanted to answer him, when Cuiling came over, another person following her.

Taking a deep breath I decided to have a talk with her later, as she came closer. Once she stepped aside to let the person behind her coming closer, I noticed that it were, in fact, two people.

A girl our age stood behind her with pale skin, brown eyes and dark hair, her hands on the handles of a wheel-chair, where a man, perhaps in his twenties sat. A scar on the right corner of his mouth made him look very grim at first, but he had kind pale brown eyes. His hair was braided into many tiny braids, all of them pulled into a pony tail.

"Kona, Liwei, Shoi-ming," Cuiling greeted us. "I want you to meet my husband and his sister. Liang and Meixiang."

Oh. That's what Cuiling had meant saying her husband had suffered deep injuries during the battle and in prison. Maybe his legs had been burnt. Or they had resided to hurt the inmates with metal weapons. However, I couldn't make out what his legs suffered from, since they were covered by a blanket.

Denzai, Nanuk, and I bowed to them, as they did to us.

"Good evening," I greeted. "It is a pleasure to meet you."

Liang smiled warmly at us, and I felt myself somehow reminded of General Iroh. Liang's eyes held a lot of wisdom, too, tolerance, and calmness. He had probably seen way too many things in his life before, given he was at most thirty years old.

Meixiang seemed to be very shy, only glancing shortly at us, before averting her gaze.

"The pleasure is mine," Liang repeated with a warm deep voice. "What you're trying to do is remarkable. We are glad to be able to help you. Unfortunately, none of us is a really great fighter, so we never had the courage yet to rise up against the Fire Nation. And in my condition… Cuiling didn't want us to get involved into something dangerous, you see…"  
He unintentionally answered one of my questions here for me. Because if Cuiling hated the Fire Nation as much as she had claimed she did, and had the connections to actually change something, why hadn't she done so earlier? Why had she only started to do something, when three teenagers had come to her pub?

But if she had simply wanted to protect her family, her husband who was already bound to a wheelchair, then I could understand her.

"Of course," Nanuk answered, giving one of his trademark warm smiles back. "We understand. There is no need to explain yourselves."

"We are only grateful to have found you," I added.

"Meixiang and I will attend the meeting in two days here, too. But I thought we could probably first talk about some strategies," Cuiling said, laying a hand on her husband's shoulder.

I immediately perked up at the word "strategies", since I had spent all of my free time in the last week to come up with one. Not that I had a lot of free time with all the studying I had to do, but I considered the plan I had come up with as pretty good. It still wasn't perfect, though, but when I could talk to other people about it, then maybe they would have ideas how to prefect it.

"Tonight?" I asked.

Cuiling raised an amused eyebrow at me. "Sure, why not?"

Uuuhhhh. Hihihi. Finally!

Then she suddenly looked up, apparently seeing someone and smiled in a very pleased way. "Not now, however. Someone you've got to meet just came through the doors."  
"Another person?" Denzai asked.

"With all the useful people you brought to us so far, I'm surprised you haven't shown us the right hand of the actual leader of Ba Sing Se yet," I joked, making Denzai and Liang laugh, while Nanuk only rolled his eyes.

Cuiling contorted her brows at me, as if I had said something bizarre.

The person she had meant for us to meet quickly came to stand at her side.

It was a man with a neatly trimmed beard, probably in his forties, his hair pulled up in a bun. He was tall and lean, but his face was one of those nondescript faces, which you forget almost instantly after you looked at it. From his broad chest and shoulders I could see that he was well trained, maybe even in martial arts, or a bending art. His eyes, though, held a great intelligence.

Cuiling stepped aside, gesturing for him to sit down in front of us. He bowed to us in greeting, and sat down then.

"Good evening," he said. "Cuiling told me you want to try to rebel against the Fire Nation and free Ba Sing Se?"

We nodded.

"Yes, it is not just for one nation to occupy another," Denzai said. "There are meant to be four nations in this world. Now there are only three, and we won't go down to only fire and water!" he declared passionately, holding himself way more confidently than I had thought he would.

In the last few weeks he had certainly surprised me a lot. Since I had met him at our course I had thought him to be a very friendly, cheery, and shy person. He was not a fighter, that's what he had said himself, and sometimes I wondered if I had maybe pushed him into this. Without me he wouldn't know about any of the Fire Nation's crimes, and maybe he only did all of this, because we were friends, and he didn't want to disappoint me, or simply wanted us to do this together. But when he spoke like that I felt comforted, knowing he was here only out of his own will. I probably gave him not enough credit.

The man nodded, twisting his mouth thoughtfully. "You are right. This world is out of balance, and since there is no Avatar anymore, it is up to us to try to restore balance in this world."  
I immediately liked him.

Having no special looks, he had a very special voice which sounded wise and friendly. Besides, I totally had the same opinion about the state of our world.

"What is your name?" I wanted to know, leaning a bit more forward.

"People call me Jianjun," he answered, cocking his head to the side.

Narrowing my eyes I knew that was not his real name. But then again, we didn't use our real names here, either. It still was strange to me that he didn't tell us his real name, for he was after Lee the first one to lie about that. Why would he need to lie about his identity? Maybe it was also just to protect his family and him?

Denzai, Nanuk, and I looked at each other, and I knew they had noticed it, too.

"What exactly do you want?" I asked, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

"To help you, of course. I simply want this war to end, and the world to return to how it's supposed to be. It will never be as it had been before the war, but maybe the Fire Nation can understand that there is no such thing as a superior element. However, if no one stops them and stands in their way, it will be difficult for them to see the value of the other elements, for they only understand force, violence, and strength."

Something about the way he talked about the Fire Nation seemed odd. His voice was not full of hatred, not even fear or disgust. He sounded more resigned and sad about it, almost as if he pitied the Fire Nation. It certainly was a strange thing to do for an Earth Kingdom person.

"How do you want to help us?" Nanuk asked. "Are you a good fighter or something?"

Jianjun smiled sadly. "Yes, I can fight. But that is not how I wish to help you."

When he didn't say anything else I noticed Nanuk to tense and get annoyed. "Then what do you wish to do?"

Jianjun shot a glance at Cuiling, as if asking for guidance, and blinked at us. "I wish to be an advisor."  
"Advisor?" all of us echoed.

Huh, until now no one who had sat here had suggested that. The feeling that there was something more to this man didn't leave me.

"I'm working at the palace. In the last few weeks I learned a lot about the Fire Nation military, and also how they organise this city. I believe I know how to drive them out," he said, leaning a bit forward, as if telling us a secret.

My frown cleared, and one corner of my mouth lifted. "Very well, Jianjun. Be here at nine pm in two days, and we will listen to your plan."

_**Zuko**_

I spent the rest of the morning in my room, putting away my luggage and trying to get comfortable with my room again.

It hadn't changed at all during the time I was gone, almost as if it had just waited for me to return. Or no one had actually cared to do something with it.

At least, it had been recently cleaned.

After dressing in more formal robes, I wanted to visit the turtle duck pond, but first went into the bathroom.

A young woman cowered in the corner, her eyes closed and her hands over her mouth.

What the magma was that servant doing in my bathroom? It didn't look like she had cleaned it.

"Who are you and what are you doing in here?" I snarled.

She flinched. "I-I-I was… out there, p-putting the th-things of the prince away, when y-you came in to attack. P-Please don't hurt me!"

I frowned. Oh yeah, I remembered. One of the servants had run into my bathroom. I had totally forgotten about that.

I didn't like cowards. And I didn't like creeps who hid in other people's bathrooms.

"Just get out of here," I said, suddenly feeling tired. "And do your job. I believe spending half the day in here was not what you should have done today."

She whimpered, nodding, but kept sitting on the floor.

"Get up!" I shouted.

Flinching, she jumped to her feet, kept standing, and stared at the ground.

I didn't know if anyone else had ever felt so afraid through my mere presence.

Swallowing, I stepped to the side to make way for her to get out. "Now go," I said, trying to sound a bit softer.

She still kept her head down as she bowed and exited the room, somehow slowly and cautiously, but also very fast.

I closed my eyes, took deep breaths and pinched the bridge of my nose. Well, my welcome in the Fire Palace was frostier than I had imagined it to be.

_**Kilara**_

"Huang, Zhai Bao, please stay here," professor Chiu asked, loud enough for everyone to hear.

Hearing my name I froze, stopping packing my bag to leave.

It was afternoon, and class had just ended. Chiu had given us some extra work for the weekend, which I wished to complete today before going to the Armadillo Lion.

Denzai looked from Chiu to me, his eyes wide and asking.

I simply shrugged. I had never been asked to stay after class before, and I was certain Denzai hadn't either.

Was it something bad? Was Chiu not satisfied with my work?

So Denzai and I waited, until everyone else had left the room. Cheng grinned at us, as if he would think we would get expelled. Trying not to let myself get affected by that, I turned my head away and looked at the prof who was currently rummaging through his bag, standing behind his desk now.

"Come on, you two. I don't bite," he said, waving us closer, without looking up.

I glanced at Denzai again, and walked over to Chiu's desk then.

He made a motion with his hand in the direction of the door, and it closed. I hadn't known he was an earthbender. That was probably something he didn't deem that important, since he was mostly interested in the intellect of other people.

"You should be more careful," he said, laying a very familiar looking flyer on his desk. It said _For the Freedom of the Earth People!_.

Swallowing, I felt myself tensing up, and immediately took a step back to step into a bending stance. Concentrating on Chiu, the door and windows, I couldn't pay attention to what Denzai was doing.

Professor Chiu studied us for a moment, then shook his head. "I'm not going to do something to you, and I won't reveal your identities to the authorities. I actually wasn't even sure, if you two were really involved, but your reaction betrayed you," he said, almost smugly.

I narrowed my eyes. Shoot. So, if we had just played dumb, he wouldn't have even noticed it was us distributing the flyers. Although for the last two days, it had been the people we had met at Cuiling's birthday party who had distributed the flyers.

"Very well done," he suddenly said, nodding to himself. "The rumour spreads incredibly fast, and as far as I know, no Fire Nation person knows about it yet. I hope this Armadillo Lion is large enough for all the people who will be there tonight."

Exchanging a glance with Denzai, I relaxed my bending stance again.

"So… you think it is okay?" I asked hesitantly.

The professor nodded. "Why, yes. Of course. I am pleased to find out that there are young people really caring about the world's fate."

"How do you know it was us distributing the flyers?" I asked, tensing a little bit again. "We wore disguises. If someone would have seen us, and told you, you wouldn't have been able to even identify us."

One corner of Chiu's mouth lifted. "You're quite right there. But I have a friend who went to see you in the _Armadillo Lion_, and I went with him. I sat in a corner."

"Aaahhh," Denzai said, nodding.

Well, yes, that made sense.

"I wish you luck for tonight. I'm excited to see what you're planning." Chiu's smile seemed genuine, as he put his hands behind his back.

"So you're coming?" asked Denzai, his eyes wide.

Nodding, Chiu suddenly had this warm gleam in his eyes. "Of course. There are many small groups who had already thought about rebelling, you see, but with what you did, they will be able to find together and unite."

"So you belong to a rebel's group?" I raised my eyebrows, and had difficulty keeping my jaw from going slack.

"You could say that," he mused, putting one elbow in his hand and making a small gesture with his hand from his chin towards us. "Although we are against violence. Our goal is to have all the nations to live together in harmony. It's not about brute force, and simply fighting the Fire Nation with violence will not show them another way. It won't prevent them from attacking again. I hope you considered this." Now he was back to his teaching voice, leaning forward, eyebrows expectantly raised.

"Of course." I nodded, since I totally saw his point.

"We should all be free of the Fire Nation's tyranny. And the Fire Nation should be it, too," Denzai added, smiling hopefully.

oOo

"Kilara?"

Lifting my head from my desk, I drowsily looked around my room. Strands of my hair hung into my face, and I felt that my skin was a bit too dry.

Moon, had I fallen asleep while studying?

"Yes?" I answered, my voice hoarse. Yep, I had fallen asleep. Although I had only wanted to close my eyes for a few, very little seconds…

San opened the door to my room, and I quickly sat up, only now noticing the chaos around me. That was probably not fitting for a young girl from Ba Sing Se.

Books, scrolls, clothes, shoes, and bags were lying on the floor, on my bed, everywhere, just not where they belonged.

San didn't even seem to notice it, as she only looked at me with her friendly eyes. "Your father will have a guest this evening, and I shall tell you that you should look your most presentable."

I pouted, my whole facial expression sinking. "Do I have to?"

San raised her eyebrows, but seemed amused. "I'm afraid, yes. Do you need any help?"

Smiling, I shook my head. "No, you already have too much to do with cooking."

Her eyes shone warmly, as she nodded, and headed back, closing my door.

Groaning, I let my head fall onto my desk again.

One hour later, Nanuk, Dad, and I stood in the hallway together, awaiting Dad's guest. He didn't tell us anything about him, and we hadn't asked.

Having done my hair with a comb which had belonged to my mother, I really looked my best. I wore my finest hanfu, white with light blue patterns, with light pink flowers on green tree branches on the fabric. My hair was up, and for once I didn't wear the braids I always let hang down to frame my face and show my Water Tribe heritage. Tonight, I looked like a real Ba Sing Sean girl.

Nanuk was wearing his finest suit in a dark green, with long sleeves, but he hadn't done anything about his hair, and he also didn't have to wear make-up. I just hoped Dad's friend wasn't anyone looking for a daughter- or sister-in-law.

"Do you know what is going to be served for dinner?" I muttered to Nanuk.

"No, San didn't tell me, but it smells delicious," he whispered back. It was mostly pretty futile, because Dad was standing in front of us, hearing us anyway.

"I know. I cannot wait to eat, I'm really hungry," I complained.

"Kira, don't say that in front of our guest," Dad whispered, and now it all really didn't make any sense. If Dad was whispering with us, then why were we whispering at all?

Nanuk seemed to think the same thing, as he grimaced at me.

I sighed. "Dad, who is this who will visit us? Is it that important that we meet him here?"

"Well, I hold deep respect for him, so I thought it would be fitting. But he doesn't stand highly in the hierarchy of Ba Sing Se, so don't worry," Dad answered, his voice sounding as if he would smile.

"Well, who is it?" Nanuk probed more, leaning forward.

In this moment, there was a knock on the door, and Dad stepped forward, opening it.

Nanuk and I almost broke our necks, stretching to look over Dad's shoulder at this friend.

Was he from the university? From Dad's travels? Maybe even an old childhood friend?

I felt myself suddenly getting excited, since I didn't know a lot of people from Dad's past. Of course I knew Uncle Aiguo, and I had met my grandparents and my aunt, but only twice. My aunt had been an accident, and had been born only a few years before Nanuk and I, when my grandparents had already been rather old to get a child. To me, she had been more of a cousin. The point was that we knew very few friends of Dad, and in general we didn't know a lot about his childhood in the colonies.

Not like I hadn't tried to ask.

When Dad moved to the side, I didn't only gasp, my eyes grew wide like saucers, and my heart suddenly stuttered.

What was the meaning of this?

In front of Dad stood no one else than Jianjun, our new rebellion advisor!

They greeted at each other, before Dad stepped to the side, letting Jianjun see us, too. He either didn't recognise us, or this was Jianjun's twin.

"Takiro, please meet my children. Kilara and Nanuk. They are twins," Dad added, grinning, as if he would be proud of the fact. Well, maybe he was. I had never asked, and I also didn't know the meaning of twins in the colonies.

My eyes widened at the man, who bowed to us. "It is my pleasure to finally meet you."

Nanuk shot a glance at me, and I tried to tell him just to go along with this.

We bowed back. "The pleasure is ours," Nanuk said for us both.

Takiro. That was either a Fire Nation or a colony name. So that's why he had lied about his name two days ago.

Swallowing, I stared him in the eyes, trying really hard to keep on smiling and looking like a dumb little girl, while I actually tried to find something on his face that would show us that he recognised us. But he kept the polite and friendly smile all the time, not even his eyebrow twitched the slightest, indicating to wanting to form a frown, but it didn't.

"Please, Takiro. Follow me. The dinner room is this way," Dad said, giving Nanuk and me a pointed look shortly, before he started walking towards the dining room.

Jianjun smiled at us, but followed Dad.

Nanuk widened his eyes, his eyebrows rose, as if he wanted to say "What was that from Dad?".

I just shrugged and walked behind Jianjun into the dining room.

Did we maybe really look so different from the evening in the pub that Jianjun didn't recognise us, or did he only not want Dad to find out? If that was the case, he was being awfully thoughtful.

I sat down on my usual seat, Nanuk today next to me, so that Jianjun could sit next to Dad's right.

The table was already set, and a steaming pot of rice sat in the middle of it, candles around.

My eyes widened at the unfamiliar dishes and cutlery, but I could see that it was way more expensive than the one we usually used.

"So…" Nanuk started. "Where do you know each other from?"

Jianjun's smile turned to be amused. "Straight to the point. That is good. We actually don't know each other yet, but we have a common friend," he explained, raising his eyebrows slightly, as if trying to look innocent.

"Our father said he respected you. How could he do so, if you don't know each other yet?" I asked in a slightly higher pitch than usual, but trying to sound ladylike and not as annoying as Nanuk.

"I respect what I've heard from our friend," Dad explained. "Takiro, why don't you just tell us about yourself? My children will understand."

Uh-huh. So was this about the Fire Nation? Was Jianjun actually from the Fire Nation? Was Takiro maybe his real name?

"I'm a war child and grew up in Yu Dao, in the colonies. For a few years now, I've been working in the Earth King's palace as a scribe," Jianjun / Takiro said, just as San came into the room, and started to pour tea for everyone.

"Thank you, San," Dad said, smiling.

She inclined her head and went back to the kitchen to get the food out.

When my mother had still been alive, she had been the only one doing the cooking. But when the food was ready, she had always made us help her carry it onto the table. After staying with Uncle for these few months, and living here with San, I had got used to being served food, but I still felt the urge to get up and help her sometimes. But that would be rude. This was San's job, and helping her would imply that she didn't make it correctly or not fast enough.

"Well, and I'm still there. There isn't much to do, actually, since the Fire Nation officials write down everything by themselves. We only have to look it over to make sure that there is no cultural misunderstanding of a word or something like that. And the Earth Kingdom officials aren't allowed to do their job, as it is." Jianjun seemed to have finished, as San came in with a pot of hippo beef stew and a pan with green beans and pig chicken.

"That is a shame," Nanuk exclaimed, and I nodded, taking shallow breaths.

"And so unfair," I added, sounding snubbed, and my voice still uncomfortably high and low.

Dad nodded. "Yes, it is."

"So, what are you going to do?" Nanuk wanted to know, and I thanked him mentally for asking what I wanted to know.

Jianjun raised his eyebrows and took a deep breath. "Well, what is there to do? I can merely wait until the Fire Nation officials trust us enough to give us work, or until they decide they don't need us, and simply dismiss us."

Nanuk quickly shot me a glance full of surprise, which probably mirrored my own expression. Well, I hadn't expected him to admit that he was going to be part of a rebellion, but he could have at least expressed his unhappiness with the current state of things more.

"Takiro will help me in writing a report about the conquest of Ba Sing Se. He knows a lot from the Fire Nation side, too," Dad announced, grinning.

I frowned. "A report? Why are you writing that?"

"Well, someone has to document what and how it happened. It will certainly serve the university in the future, and this way no lies about it can be spread later," he explained, his eyes following San, as she returned to the kitchen, after having brought pig chicken kung pao and black beans with shrimps in garlic.

My stomach started to rumble at the sight of shrimps. Moon, I loved sea food, and I definitely didn't eat enough of it. It was probably difficult to get it in Ba Sing Se, and I noted that I had to thank San for it later.

My frown deepened, as I tried to fight my anger, because of course, Dad would only write a report for the university about the conquest. Of course, it would all simply be about military advantages and disadvantages, with a prologue about the war itself. But would the injustice of it all be mentioned? The Fire Nation's cruelty? What about the degraded state the Earth Kingdom citizens had to live in?

Nanuk clasped my fist under the table, and I took a deep breath. I immediately felt calmer, and I squeezed his hand shortly to let him know that. He squeezed back, and let it go.

"That is very interesting," I cooed, leaning forward a bit. "This must be very difficult, though." It was hard not to sound sarcastic with these sentences.

"Oh yes, you're right about that. The new Dean actually ordered it to be written," Dad added, sounding less excited now. "He's from the Fire Nation, and the report is to be handed to the Supreme Bureaucratic Administrator Joo Dee. She's the one in charge of the city."  
Jianjun tensed, his eyes suddenly downcast.

What did that mean? Did he know this Supreme Bureaucratic Administrator?

Narrowing my eyes, I took a mental note of mentioning her again this evening, and later at The Armadillo Lion so that I would be able to see a difference in his reaction.

"Oh," I said like this was totally new to me.

"Hm," Nanuk hummed.

Then San came out of the kitchen with a table of baozi and declared that this was all, and we should start eating.

I wondered if Dad would invite her to eat with us again, but as she bowed he simply inclined his head and watched her going into the kitchen again.

"Enjoy the meal," Dad said, and for a while we were all busy with loading food on our plates and into our bowls.

I immediately went for the shrimps, and when I smelled their aroma, I knew that the garlic around them had been marinated so the smell wouldn't be that strong. That meant I could eat as much of it as I wanted without starting to stink of garlic!

Jianjun asked that we told him something of us. Nanuk and I looked at each other, as Dad started to talk. "They're both benders! Really good ones."

Jianjun's eyebrows rose in interest. "SO you can fight?" he asked us.

Nanuk nodded. "Yep. But Kilara can also heal."

Dad's guest contorted his eyebrows in confusion. "Heal?"

"She's a waterbender," Dad explained.

I smiled softly, innocently and shrugged.

"A waterbender? My, that's quite interesting," Jianjun murmured, as if more to himself, and frowned a little, staring at his plate.

I raised an eyebrow in Nanuk' direction, who shrugged.

"If you're going to write a report about the conquest, then you had to know about the military movements of the Fire Nation, too, don't you, Takiro?" I asked after a while, as a thought came into my mind. And I also wanted to stop talking about Nanuk and me.

Jianjun / Takiro looked up from the pig chicken kung pao he had just grabbed with his chopsticks and looked at me with something that seemed oddly like satisfaction in his eyes. But he didn't seem surprised at me asking something like that, so I suspected that he had indeed recognised Nanuk and me. "Yes, I was informed about their movements back then. I don't know too much about them now, but through calculating and some sense it should be easy to find that out."

Dad blinked at him, looking slightly confused, while I tried to hide a smile.

This was even better than I had thought. Jianjun / Takiro or whatever his name was knew even more than he had let on a few days ago. And since he was close, or at least, working with Dad, that meant he could probably keep Dad from interfering with our rebellion business.

oOo

Cuiling had managed to get earthbenders to enlarge the basement under The Armadillo Lion. I was pretty sure that it couldn't have ever been this large before, and it did look more like a cave than an actual basement. What is more, Cuiling didn't stop bragging about how she had terrorised three earthbenders into enlarging the basement.

Her husband Liang seemed even a bit annoyed by that, as he tiredly rolled his eyes.

I grinned.

When we arrived down there, it was fully packed with people. It was so crowded that Liang had real difficulties to get through with his wheelchair, until Cuiling started to wheel him through.

The people down here were mostly young adults to middle aged ones. Most of them seemed to be more of the poorer side of the society, but what was most important was that they seemed desperate. Desperate for the Fire Nation to leave and for something to change. A lot of them looked like good fighters, some even more on the shady side.

The cave was lit with oil lamps standing on small convexities of the walls, making the light down here orange and yellow.

Fighting to get through the crowd, I felt very small suddenly, although I was quite tall for my age, but all those adults around me… I was only fifteen. Wasn't I totally crazy thinking I could help planning a rebellion? Shouldn't I be more concerned about doing my homework? What if no one would take us serious? Or what if all of my plans would fail, and I would suddenly realise that I wasn't as smart as I always thought?

Then I saw Professor Chiu in the crowd. He was looking in the direction of the stage, a slight smile on his face, talking to a young man next to him.

Professor Chiu had said he was pleased we were caring about the fate of this world. He hadn't seemed mortified or disturbed that two fifteen year olds were involved in the rebellion. And he was a man who I knew told the truth.

Stealing myself, I tried to get and keep calm, as we were nearing the small stage in the middle of the cave. We had decided that Cuiling and Nanuk would go up and hold short, energetic speeches. Nanuk was a people person, he knew immediately how to make someone like him, and he was very charismatic.

While I would be able to talk about strategies and our specific plan until dawn, Nanuk would get the people into the right mood.

Liang, Meixiang, Denzai, and I stood in front of the stage, looking up at our pair of entertainers.

Nanuk brought his foot down and a light shock wave rushed through the earth, making everyone go quiet.

"Welcome!" Cuiling shouted. "Welcome to this meeting!"

Some people shouted hello, hi, or 'Glad to be here' back.

"We're all here, because we believe in freedom," she went on, earning a few small cheers. "We believe in the freedom of our people!" Her voice became louder, and more people cheered. "And we want to be free again. We're the people of earth, and we're going to put the fire that's been burning us out!"

The crowd erupted into loud cheers.

Nanuk took a step forward. "The Fire Nation conquered our city. We are the capital of the Earth Kingdom. With us the state of the war changes. If we're free, then there's still hope, but if we're conquered, is everything hopeless? Will the Earth Kingdom give up?"

Loud shouts of "No way!" or "Never!" were heard from the crowd.

I smiled and my heart filled with something which felt like hope and pride.

"No, we, won't. Because no matter with what they're gonna come at us, we. Are going to. Stand. Our. Ground!"

After waiting for the next wave of cheers to calm down, Cuiling spoke again. "The Avatar is dead. He was the most powerful being in the entire world, and the fourteen year old Fire Princess managed to kill him. And whose fault is that? It is ours! Our fault! We hid behind a twelve year old boy, simply believing, simply hoping that he will defeat our enemy! We burdened him with all our sorrows, making him carry the weight of the fate of this world on shoulders thinner like this." She held her hands in a distance to each other which seemed to be quite fitting. "And the Avatar died because of our cowardice! The Avatar died for us! The Fire Nation believes that his death will crush all our hopes towards winning the war. They believe we are too depressed to fight them. I say we are not!"

Loud clapping sounded this time, too, cheering, whistling. The people were in the right mood. They were ready to fight for their rights and for their freedom. I just hoped that no one wanted revenge.

"We won't let the Avatar's death be in vain! We won't keep burdening others with our sorrow! We will honour the Avatar's legacy and fight to bring balance back to the world!"

Now, even I couldn't stop myself from clapping and wooing. Wow, Cuiling's speech was amazing. I was grinning wildly like an idiot, filled with the desire to fight any injustice and imbalance in this world.

"My friends, it is time that we stand up for ourselves," Nanuk said calmly, and I felt tears welling up in my eyes. How he was standing there, he looked so adult and so sure of himself… "It is time that we take our city back. It is time that we take the Earth Kingdom back! And then we will bring peace to the whole world!"

While the crowd around me was erupting with cheers and applause, I fought to really understand that this was our doing.

Three teenagers had started distributing flyers, and now this had happened. And we could do so much more.

From behind the stage, a small stone column shot up, on which a middle aged man stood, who already had grey hair. "No offense or anything, Lady Guozhi, but how exactly are we going to do this? We're not many, and the Fire Nation has crazy modern weapons."

Distinct murmur spread through the crowd, sowing doubts.

I narrowed my eyes at this man.

Cuiling turned around to look at him, and I couldn't see her face anymore. "We're not many yet, my friend. And we are developing a plan. But we need many people for that. Everyone who is willing to fight, anyone who is good at strategizing, anyone who can support us financially, and people who can pass us information about the Fire Nation. Only when we all work together will our plan work!"

The man seemed appeased, and his stone column sank back down to the ground.

Nanuk turned around on the stage, looking at all the crowd from every angle and pulled the attention back to him.

That was Denzai's and my clue to make our way back to the entrance. We could hear Nanuk's words still well enough while navigating back.

"Yes, we need your help. Everyone who can offer some of the help Lady Guozhi just described is asked to stay here later. We'd like to discuss those matters with you. Anyone else who thinks they can help us with something only they have please stay here, too. And to the rest, don't forget this evening. Don't forget our message. Spread it to trustful people. Spread it to people you know would be willing to help, so that our rebellion may grow, until we're too many for the Fire Nation to defeat!"

Those were the last words of the evening.

Denzai and I were already on the two tables at the exit, piles of paper in front of us, several pots of ink and several quills as well. We would make everyone sign up with their name and swear not to breathe a word of this to anyone who would try to harm us.

It would be more effective if Nanuk were here, since he could tell if someone was lying or not, but I had become rather good at that, too. Nanuk always said that people's heart beat became faster and that also meant that the blood was pumped faster through their veins. So I should be able to feel the difference.

Not everyone signed up, though. Some people thanked us with big smiles and deep bows, praising us and would have probably signed up five times if we'd let them. Others were looking nervous and still a bit frightened. They seemed intrigued by the idea of a rebellion, but not as if they wanted to have anything to do with it. They were too much afraid to write their names on a paper like that. I could understand that. In their place, I would have written a false name down.

However, telling if someone was lying proved to be… problematic.

Everyone was still excited, a few people were nervous, others frightened, and they chattered loudly. Concentrating on their blood gave me a headache, and I wasn't good enough in this to tell which heart beat fast of excitement, or who was lying! I really wished Nanuk would come here quickly!

In the end, seventeen people stayed, offering their different services. Jianjun was one of them. We talked with all of them in a row, making them wait in line.

Many of them were former Earth Kingdom officials who had resigned when the Fire Nation had conquered the city. They had felt hopeless that day. Now, they wanted to help us strategizing. There also were a few people here who we had already met at Cuiling's "birthday party" like the politician, or the rich man from the upper ring.

He and one other person had ties to rich ministers in the upper ring, from whom they were serious they could get some sponsor money and information about the Fire Nation.

Jianjun finally told us what he had hinted at during dinner. He would be able to know what the Fire Nation military would do next, and how their positions would change, also outside of Ba Sing Se. I mentioned the Supreme Bureaucratic Administrator, and noticed how Jianjun's eyes widened a little bit, how he took a small shaky breath. If I hadn't paid close attention to his reaction I would have probably not even noticed it. There definitely was something. It could become a problem for us, maybe Jianjun was only a spy of the Fire Nation and would bring us false information, leading us into a trap. Or we could use it for our gain. I would have to find a way to find out what his ties to the Supreme Bureaucratic Administrator were.

The last three of the remaining people had ties into the underground. They knew how to get information, how to make people disappear, new people appear and how to even get unnoticed into the upper ring.

They did seem like normal people, there was nothing shady about them, but hearing them hinting at their jobs… It gave me the creeps. Smuggling was just one part of that. One of these guys seemed to hit on me, which caused Nanuk to almost throw rocks into his face.

I rolled my eyes, but felt a little flattered. After all, this guy didn't look so bad himself. And I've never talked to a professional criminal before. It was somehow… thrilling.

The only criminal I had ever talked to before was a thief. I closed my eyes to banish the Fire Prince from my thoughts, as I continued counting all the signatures we got.

"We definitely did some good work tonight," I said when I was finished.

Aside from Cuiling, Liang, Meixiang, Denzai, Nanuk and me, only Jianjun and the three earthbenders who had bent the cave larger were left.

"Good work?" Nanuk asked incredulously. "We got over six hundred signatures! I thought not even three hundred could fit into this cave, so wow!"

I frowned. "There is still so much in front of us, so much we have to consider," I murmured.

Cuiling chuckled. "Aw, come on, Liwei!" She laid her hand on my shoulder. "Consider this an achievement. We didn't think that that many people would actually show up."

I bit down on my lip, nodding. I knew she was right. But getting lazy over one small victory was nothing we could afford to do. We had to stay sharp, and we had to work on our plan. I could enjoy tonight's success, but I would still keep planning.

We stayed a bit longer, getting free glasses of warm apple juice in the pub from Cuiling, and were then brought home by the three earthbenders. They had bent the basement back to how it had originally been, and were now waiting for us. Cuiling said she trusted them, so we decided to be okay with it. But I insisted that we would all go to Denzai's first, before Nanuk and I were walked home.

None of us said anything. Maybe we didn't dare to, or we were still too excited.

There was a full moon, and I knew my excitement didn't only come from the meeting earlier. Although the full moon normally kept me up until dawn, I felt deeply calm and satisfied right now. The pull of the moon felt more like a gentle caress, encouraging me to keep going. It felt like it told me that I was doing the right thing.

_**Zuko **_

It was five days after Father had accepted me back as his son.

Those three days had been gone in bliss. I had woken up to the sunrise as usual, getting up to train firebending. Fighting had regained a purpose for me. I was sure that the Avatar wasn't dead, and I wanted to be ready and strong for when the day came that he would strike back.

Azula trained in the same courtyard, but on the other side. We kept our routine of first feeling the first sun rays of the day on our skin, then training on our own, and sparring in the end.

I could tell that Azula didn't hold back, which made me glad. I felt way stronger than I had been, when she had tried to imprison me. Must be due to the fact that I was back home.

The smell of breakfast greeted me every morning in my room after my training session. It was set on a small portable oven to keep it warm, if I didn't want to eat it right now. After practising I always took a shower first, sighing in bliss at standing back under a Fire Nation shower. There was no better way to get clean, and the ones in the palace are the best.

Eating breakfast was not something I was looking forward to. I ate alone. Every single day. I didn't like it, and often caught me thinking about Uncle, wondering if he ate breakfast now, too, and what he ate for breakfast.

After breakfast, I usually went to visit Mai, and we would spend the day together, sometimes going out into the city, or simply staying at her place. I planned on asking her today, if she wanted to spend today in the palace.

I felt a bit off, which was probably due to my lack of sleep. Sneaking out of the palace and the capital, it had taken me two hours on foot to get to the industrial town close by, where a lot of the metal we use for our buildings was produced and forged.

I had thought that finding a solution for the Avatar problem would make me feel calmer, but I guess I just felt worse. Now another person knew that the Avatar was still alive. I had heard he didn't spill secrets, but this was a very huge secret!

However, I couldn't just go off by myself and try to find the Avatar again, to really eliminate him this time, although there was nothing I'd rather do. I hated having other people dealing with my problems.

I still hadn't any real duties to perform and I waited for Father to trust me enough to let me have a more important place in the government. Maybe I could lead the guards, dealing with their schedule and solving criminal problems in the city.

Azula wasn't doing anything important, too, but she didn't mind. She practised her bending, getting better every day, she has instructions from father, and other than that she just seemed to be doing what she wanted to. I envied her. I hated having nothing to do.

After having one goal for three years, and every action leading towards it, filling my days with banal stuff was even worse than it had been in the lower ring of Ba Sing Se. Although, of course, doing banal things in the fire capital or the palace was way more enjoyable.

Yesterday morning, I had ordered the servants to not serve me tea anymore at any time. That morning had been after I visited Uncle in his cell, and I had still felt angry. He had just kept silent, as if I had been the one doing the wrong thing. As if I needed to be punished by him. I refused to let him give me a bad conscience, and I refused to dwell on it. So I didn't want to think about it at all.

I grew even angrier at Uncle, when I noticed I couldn't even drink tea, without thinking about him. I probably wouldn't ever be able to look at a pai sho board or see lotus flowers again, too.

But I had tea on my breakfast tray now again. Although I had ordered it to be kept out of my sight.

Gritting my teeth, I grabbed the pot and cup, then walked to my doors and pushed them open with my shoulder, since my hands were full.

The two guards, who stood here since Father had acknowledged me, looked at me. It were, of course, not the same guards all the time, at least, I thought they weren't. I couldn't remember their faces very well.

Raising my arms a bit, I used the movement to put more force into the downward motion of my arms, smattering the pot and cup on the floor, china and tea splattering and splashing in every direction. "Get the servant who was responsible for my breakfast, and make them clean this up. No one else is to clean this. I ordered not to be served tea anymore. They better remember it," I ordered, making my voice sound dark and menacing.

Although I was their superior, I was still shorter than a lot of the grown men, and I hated it. I really wished I would have a growth spurt very soon.

The one to my right bowed. "Yes, Your Highness. I will see to it immediately." He walked away, his steps fast.

I glared at the other one, challenging him to judge my actions, and then slammed the doors shut.

Sighing I tried to enjoy my breakfast, but I'd never been a person to enjoy food. Not like Uncle. I had been enthusiastic at eating my first breakfast back in the fire palace, but the fifth time had just lost its thrill. While I was still happy having Fire Nation food again I was just not capable of enjoying a meal the way Uncle could. Or the way Kilara had enjoyed my Omashu pasta.

I leaned back from my meal a bit and tried not to think about this part of my life. That was behind me. I would find other, better friends. And I would stop giving me a bad conscience for going against Uncle.

* * *

_Thanks for reading! _

**_Answers to reviews: _**

_To _ 247: _Thank you so much! I loved your last review! Yeah, having Kira and Nanuk be caught by Dai Li agents was not part of the plan. And no, I don't think you mentioned before that it's weird that I don't get a lot of reviews, but thank you for the compliment! Honestly, when I read some fics, I'm thinking the same thing, but I also don't know if I would actually read my story, if I weren't the one writing it. I'm not a big fan of Zuko x OC stories, actually, but I think my story is a bit different, since it is written as if it could really happen in canon. I think sold souls is a bit extreme, but I guess my story is maybe not "mainstream" enough. Also, the summary and the title are stupid. When I published the first chapter, I just wanted a title to be able to publish this, but I didn't really think about it, and I really don't want to keep the title. The title sounds like a Zutara story, which this isn't. Maybe it's inspired by it, but that's it. And I have been thinking about rewriting the summary for a long time, but I still didn't come up with something better, after all, this is really just about who Izumi's mother is, and how all that happened. Yeah, I know that feeling about wanting to know how a story will continue. _

_To _Sam. HoranTurtleDuck: _Isn't there a gang in Republic City called The Triple Threats? Yes, you wrote Cuiling okay. There was a bit more of Zuko's POV in here. I hope you liked it. I'll try to keep things about Cuiling mysterious and interesting, since it's always hard to introduce new interesting characters. This is so much more to remember than just the characters from the show, and I always have difficulties remember the names of all the OCs from other fics...  
_


	20. Chapter 20

_Hey everyone! Sorry this took so long! While I'm having holidays, it still seems like I have no time at all! Days pass way too fast for my liking. _

_So I changed the summary of my story... Because... the old one seemed kind of boring and not so much like a story. If I would read that summary, probably even I wouldn't read the story. I would think that there would just be explanations of how who Izumi's mother could be, but this is a real story, not just a summary of explanantions, so I thought I had to write a story fitting summary, too. And I also hope I might attract more readers with that... _

_But since this fic is mostly dedicated to the exploration of who Izumi's mother could be, and how this would happen, I decided to leave that bit in. In the beginning I actually wanted to jump directly to the time when it was time for getting Izumi, but in my attempts to create a background story, I might have got a little carried away... hehe...  
_

_I just really wanted to give Zuko a partner who would make him happy with this fic, since he totally deserves that in my opinion. There are only four people who deserve more happiness than Zuko, and those are Aang, Ursa, Iroh, and Azula, because I think they suffered a lot more than Zuko (even though Aang doesn't show it). The problem with Zuko is that happiness might be very difficult for him to deal with... Anyway, what do you guys think of the new summary? _

_I actually also don't really much like the title of my story. It sounds a bit... clichée? Boring? Cheesy? I don't know, but nothing else came to my mind back then, and I needed a title to get my first chapter published, so I just used that one, since it still kind of grasps the whole thing. But when I come up with a better one, I might change the title, so don't be surprised to one day not finding "Love of Fire and Water" anymore. _

_So, now onto more exploration of book three! More rebellion planning, and more pretending to be a prince! This chapter actually begins exactly where the last one ended. Zuko just had a tantrum over tea, and now he's in his room, being dressed. It is still morning. _

_I hope you'll enjoy reading! Please review! _

_I do not own Avatar The Last Airbender. _

* * *

**Chapter Twenty **

**Falling Apart**

_**Zuko**_

A knock on my door sounded, while I was being dressed.

I pressed my lips together and stood tense, so that I wouldn't move too much. The outer layer of my robe wasn't easy to put on. There were so many knots and buttons, I wouldn't know where they had to go at all, but I also didn't like being dressed.

I scowled at my reflection at that thought. What was wrong with me? I was a prince, dammit, and to be dressed was part of it. It lifted me above the commoners who had to dress all by themselves. I remembered that I had taken comfort in still having people dressing me in my armour, while I had been on my ship, but now… It felt so stupid.

I could be perfectly capable of dressing myself, if someone would explain all those buttons and knots to me. And the servants could have something else to do.

"Come in!" I said, after it had knocked on my doors.

One of the guards who stood in front of my door stepped in. "We found the servant who is responsible for your breakfast. We apologise it took so long."

I nodded. "Are they cleaning up the tea?"

The guard nodded. "Yes, Your Highness. She just finished. Would you be so kind as to tell me what punishment you have in mind for her? This way, I can tell her without having to bother you with this for longer."

I raised my eyebrows, staring at myself in the mirror. Punishment?

The servant already had to clean up the mess I produced. Wasn't that enough?

"Uh…" Shit. "Maybe…" I sighed. "Just keep her here until I'm ready," I said, looking at the guard through the mirror.

He nodded, left and closed my door.

Swallowing, I wondered what I could do now. As Crown Prince of the Fire Nation it was expected of me to punish a servant with whose work I wasn't satisfied. But as Zuko I didn't want to.

The burden of all the expectations in the palace settled on my chest again. Clenching my fists I stared at my reflection. My hair was up in the topknot, revealing my scar in all its ugliness.

I'd rather continue to wear my hair down, but it wasn't fitting for a Crown Prince.

I pressed my lips together, taking in all the features I shared with my father.

He would punish this servant. He punished me, his own son, so what would he do to a servant?

Goosebumps spread all over me, as I felt like I was getting sick.

The dark crimson of my robes marked me as Fire Nation, and the style as part of the royal family. My crown was the same Azula was wearing, not even a bigger one to mark me as heir to the throne. Father hadn't told me yet if I was officially again the Crown Prince, or if Azula was his heir, but if I wanted to become Fire Lord one day, I needed to keep pleasing him. If he would hear that I spared a servant who acted against my orders, he would be disappointed.

I could see my gaze harden in the mirror, as I made my decision.

When the servants were finished with dressing me, I walked to my doors, my heart almost leaping out of my throat from nervousness. Two servants opened the doors for me, and all left my rooms at that opportunity.

Taking a deep breath, I looked around for the guards and the servant.

My eyes widened, when I saw who was kneeling in front of me.

This girl had hidden in my bathroom just five days ago.

A scowl surfaced on my face, as I immediately felt disgust for this servant. Like a coward she had run away, leaving her fellow servants to… me. Well, I hadn't been a danger, but she couldn't have known that.

Her ponytail ran over her shoulders, while she was staring at the ground.

"Look at me," I said.

Slowly, she lifted her face. Her eyes were red and puffy, and I could see tear streaks on her cheeks.

I narrowed my eyes. "Did you hear about my order that I didn't want any tea anymore?"

She took a shaky breath. "Y-Yes, Your Highness."

"Then why did you put tea on my breakfast tray this morning?" I let my voice sound louder and angry, although I didn't feel any anger anymore. I felt sad for her. I pitied her.

"I-I didn't m-mean to g-go ag-gainst your orders. I j-just f-f-forgot ab-bout it."

"What is your job description?" I wanted to know.

"I work in the kitchens, but I was assigned to you, when you came back, Your Highness."

I frowned. Well, I didn't want her to keep working for me, but I didn't know what else to do.

Suddenly, she shifted closer to me on the floor. "Please, Your Highness! I didn't mean any disrespect!"

My eyes widened, when I recognised those words. All of a sudden I felt completely paralysed. I was unable to move, unable to think. Was it fear I was feeling? The fear from back then?

Tears started streaming down the servant's cheeks, while her bottom lip trembled.

I pressed my lips together and realised I had to decide quickly, if I didn't want to lose face.

Fuck, this felt like the worst thing that ever happened to me!

I couldn't assign her to someone else. Father and Azula would treat her like dirt, and I didn't think the ministers and the nobles would be better.

"You'll work at the stables from tomorrow on," I decided, taking a deep breath. Working with animals should be safer than working with humans in this palace.

Her trembling stopped, as her mouth opened a little bit. "P-please, Your Highness. My family needs the money, and my salary would only be half of what I earn now in the stables!"

Oh. I didn't think about that. Shit, what was wrong in this city, if everyone clung to their jobs like this? Everyone tried to feed their families. I just had to think about the old man I had met on my first day here. I should probably dig more into this topic.

My mouth opened, already wanting to say she could getting paid the same amount, or she could take care of my komodo rhino, since royal animals brought more money, but this would be unfair on the others working in the stables and the person who already took care of my komodo rhino.

"My decision is final," I said, sounding surer of myself than I really felt. "Leave and prepare for your first day at the stables tomorrow."

Swallowing and sniffling, the girl stood up and bowed, before she turned around and left. Her steps were slow and seemed empty.

"You," I addressed one of the guards. "Go and tell the one in charge of the stables about my decision."

With a hard gaze I waited for him to bow and go, only then did I turn around and went into my room again.

As soon as my doors were closed, I took a shaky breath and crumpled to the floor.

My throat burnt, and I felt cold and shaky, as I hugged my knees and crinkled my new robes.

What kind of prince was I? This behaviour was pathetic! I had made a decision, and that was it. Why was I feeling like this now? I shouldn't let it come so close to me.

Just what was wrong with me? Why couldn't I shrug it away like Azula could?

I felt tears welling up in my eyes and quickly brushed them away.

"Shit," I murmured, then leaned my head back on my doors, closing my eyes.

Maybe I would feel better after I breathed a little.

oOo

"Don't you wanna do something?" Mai asked me, turning her head in my direction.

We were sitting on my couch, my arm around her shoulders, but somehow it didn't feel comfortable. She didn't lean against me, and the couch's rest wasn't high enough to support my head.

"We were talking," I answered.

"Yeah, we were, but then we didn't have anything to talk about anymore. I'm bored, Zuko," she explained.

I frowned, thinking about what we could do. I really didn't want to go anywhere today. I still didn't feel well after having reassigned that servant girl, and I didn't think going outside would help me somehow. The problem was I.

"I don't want to go out," I said, lifting my arm from her shoulders and straightened, before I put my elbows on my knees, leaning forward.

"Is something wrong?" Mai wanted to know, but didn't sounded interested at all.

My frown deepened. Why was she even here if she wasn't interested in how I was?

"No, I'm fine," I lied.

Mai sighed. "Well, if it's so I don't see why we can't so something. We could have a picnic again," she suggested, sounding softer.

That might distract me from my disarrayed thoughts, but I would need to go outside. Wasn't there anything we could do here?

"If you want to have a picnic ask someone else," I growled and tensed a second after. Shit, had I just said that? I quickly sat up to look at her and cleared my throat. "I didn't mean it like that."

Mai was looking away, and I wondered if my words had hurt her. "Whatever," she murmured.

I narrowed my eyes. "What does that mean? You don't care at all or what?" I snarled.

Her gaze turned back to me. "I wouldn't be with you if I didn't care." Her expression didn't change in the slightest, which made me even angrier.

In the beginning of our relationship she really had loosened up, I had managed to make her smile and blush, but lately… All that had disappeared again. Mai was back to being her old, apathetic self, and I hated it.

We stared at each other challengingly until she looked away, sighing. "So you don't want to go outside? Care to tell me why?"

"No, I don't," I replied harshly, but got immediately a bad conscience. I didn't want to fight with Mai. I didn't even want to be like this. I just felt agitated and unhappy whatever I did, and that was stupid, considering where I was and what I did.

Pressing my eyes shortly shut, I sat straight up, and reached for Mai's hand. "I'm sorry, I…"

I didn't know how to go on. How could I explain my feelings to her if I didn't understand them myself?

"You've been acting weird lately," Mai pointed out.

I sighed. "I know. I'm sorry," I murmured and searched her face for any kind of emotion. But she didn't even look me in the eye.

I gently touched her chin to make her look back at me. "Hey, Mai? If I kiss you, will you smile at me?"

She didn't smile then, but her features softened, which was already enough to make my heart beat faster. "Why don't you find out?" she asked, and I smiled and leaned down to kiss her.

She leaned back on the couch, and I immediately followed, my lips still moving on hers. Only when I lied on top of her did I open my mouth. I felt Mai's hands stroking my sides, as her mouth opened, too, to let my tongue in.

At that moment there was a knock on my door.

I frowned. Seriously? Now? Who was that, and what did they want?

I moved a bit away from Mai and glared at my doors. "What?" I snapped.

"Your Highness, there is a message from the Fire Lord," the muffled voice from a guard sounded through my doors.

Sighing, I got up and gave Mai and apologetic look, before I walked to the doors and opened them. "Where's that message?"

A guard handed me a scroll sealed with wax and the royal seal on it.

I took it, muttered "Thank you", and went back into my room, closed the doors.

_From Your Royal Majesty Fire Lord Ozai,_

_written by scribe Kageshi_

_Prince Zuko,_

_I wish to have a calm and silent weekend to be not disturbed while I meet with my counsellors. There are important matters to be discussed._

_I cannot have you children around for this. _

_You are to go to Ember Island this weekend to leave me in a quieter environment. You will stay at Li and Lo's beach house. You will leave in two days at seven am from Capital Port. _

_Azula will go, too, and you can take friends with you._

_Fire Lord Ozai, _

_Son of Fire Lord Azulon and Ilah, Governor of Capital Island, First of the Fire Sages, Closest to the Sun, Dragon of the West, Ruler of the Civilised World, Conqueror of the Earth Kingdom, Wielder of the Dragon Fire_

My eyes widened. Dragon of the West? Wielder of the Dragon Fire? Those were two of Uncle's titles! And since when was Father the Governor of Capital Island?

Before I had been banished, Count Ueda had been the Governor of Capital Island. How come Father did this now, too?

And seriously? A message to his son, within the palace walls, not even a letter, needed to be signed with all of Father's titles?

I narrowed my eyes. Father wanted calm and quiet? I was not a child! I was perfectly calm and quiet! How could he just send me away, as if he expected me to throw a tantrum or cry out loud because of full diapers?

I remember when Grandfather Azulon had used to send us away. Azula and I had loved to go to Ember Island then, but Father had always been furious at the beginning. He used to argue very much with Mother then. Only after a few days on Ember Island did he calm down.

I grit my teeth. I hated this, but there was nothing I could do. If it were Uncle, I would go to him and ask him why I couldn't meet with him and his counsellors. I would argue that I was adult enough, and that I had learned enough to be able to give good advice. I would say that I had a right to be there.

But this was Father, and I wouldn't argue with him. I could prove to him that I was an obedient son and simply do what he asked. Even if it was the most unfair shit I had ever heard of.

"Hey, Mai?" I asked, walked over to her, where she was still lying on my couch. I handed her the scroll. "Are you interested in a short holiday?"

_**Kilara **_

Nanuk, Denzai, and I went to the Armadillo Lion every second day from then on. It wasn't easy to do this while studying for the course. Professor Chiu had made clear that he would give us some lenience, but not a lot. I was perfectly fine with that, since the freedom of the Earth Kingdom seemed a bit more important than the school career of two students, but if the rebellion failed, I would be pretty glad to still have that school career.

Nanuk seemed pretty relaxed about his internship and even still invited Yao, Peizhi, and Rong over sometimes. They begged me for frozen fruit juice every time. These were the times, when I still felt like a normal girl enjoying summer.

But every evening around nine pm, Nanuk and I left the house through our windows and made our way to Denzai's to walk together to the lower ring.

We worked on bringing all our opportunities and help together, and develop a plan based on those. We didn't actually receive anything yet, but if we would present a good and foolproof plan, we would get money from our rich allies to buy weapons or anything that we could need.

But now, we were still working on how to extinguish the Fire Nation's power of Ba Sing Se. Jianjun whose name was actually really Takiro (I'd asked him) proved to be more than helpful in these matters.

Down in the basement of the Armadillo Lion, it were Cuiling, Liang, Denzai, Nanuk, two former colonels serving under the council of the five generals, three former majors, two former lieutenants, Jianjun and I. Denzai had brought his plans of the palace, and Nanuk, as well as the other earthbenders had bent little figures representing us and the enemy.

The colonels and majors said they had already told people they trusted and who had held some sort of power in the former hierarchy of Ba Sing Se about our rebellion, and that they were sure they would help.

We learned that Princess Azula had imprisoned the five generals of the council, as well as every other member of the army she could have got her hands on. There were still a lot of soldiers and former guards who were free, but they had gone into hiding. Our men with ties to the underground would come into play there.

"It is no Fire Nation person who holds the power over Ba Sing Se," Takiro explained, his arms crossed, as he stood across from us in front of the table we all stood around.

I raised an eyebrow. "You mean the Supreme Bureaucratic Administrator Joo Dee?"

Takiro, and the admirals and commanders all nodded.

"Joo Dee isn't even a real person. It's a persona the Dai Li uses to control the city," said Colonel Changpu.

What? Contorting my eyebrows I tried to get ready for another mind blowing "Ba-Sing-Se-is-corrupted-and-crazy"-story.

"The Dai Li trains women to become a Joo Dee. The problem is, if we dispose of this one, another one will just pop out. They are probably all trained to only answer to the Fire Nation or the Dai Li anymore," Colonel Aijian mused.

"What do you mean they are trained?" Liang asked, leaning forward, putting his elbows on the table in front of him.

I looked back at the former members of the Earth Kingdom Army, seeing how they all looked a bit uncomfortable.

"Well…" Major Hanjing started. "Before the Earth Kingdom was conquered, the Avatar and his companions uncovered a conspiracy against the Earth King. This way, we found out that the Dai Li was brainwashing people."

"What?" Denzai, Nanuk, and I screeched. That was the first bomb.

Strangely, the others didn't react to this like they should when finding out that their cultural authority has been brainwashing people.

"You knew about this?" Denzai asked, looking and sounding shocked.

Cuiling let out a deep breath. "Well, it explains a lot of things to me. Every time a person would talk here about the war or the Fire Nation, the Dai Li would show up later to take them with them." She took a deep breath again and licked her lips. "And then this person would show up a few days later, having completely forgotten about the instance or the war."

My eyes grew wide. "Really? I knew they controlled everything, but brainwashing?"

Lieutenant Zemin nodded. "Yeah, I remember this kid accusing two tea servers in Pao's tea shop to be firebenders." He shook his head. "I didn't know of the war back then, so I was pretty confused. Even if they were firebenders, why the racket? The kid kept screaming they were evil, and almost hurt them, when the younger tea server just took my swords and started to fight against the kid."

The second bomb.

I tensed up, my eyes wide, and I felt like I couldn't move. That had had to be Zuko. A young tea server, accused to be a firebender, and fighting with swords? There certainly weren't that many young firebending refugees serving tea in Ba Sing Se's lower ring, who were skilled in fighting with swords.

He nodded. "They fought pretty well. If I knew where to find them, I would ask them to join us. Being skilled with broad- or hookswords is not very common, after all."

And the third bomb of the evening dropped. I knew a young boy who fought with hookswords. I had met him in the woods, while following the Fire Prince. Jet…

"In the end, the Dai Li showed up and took the kid with them. I saw him again a few weeks later, and he seemed completely different. He was smiling all the time, behaving friendly. I thought it was weird, but… No one in their right mind really thinks that people are getting brainwashed."

My hands clenched to fists, while I tried not to jump in front of Lieutenant Zemin and bombard him with a thousand questions. How had Jet known? Had they somehow met? And what had Zuko done? Had he hurt Jet? Where was this tea shop?

Denzai shook his head. "I can't believe it. How much more evil shit have they done?"

My head jerked in his direction. I have never ever heard him swear before. Shit, was that because of my bad influence?

"Other than siding with the Fire Princess, we don't know," Major Tao Zhu answered. "The fact is if we want to fight the Fire Nation, we'll have to fight the Dai Li. If we take them out first, the rest should be doable."

"Don't underestimate the Fire Nation Army," Takiro warned. "They could easily manage to regroup and find someone else in charge of the city."

Tao Zhu laughed in an amused way. "Maybe. But we'll be too many for them."

"And how exactly do you plan on getting this many people on our side?" Cuiling asked, stemming a hand on her hip.

"Our army is larger than the Fire Nation's. And the Fire Nation Army is also spread all over the Earth Kingdom. It's that simple."

I frowned. "How is that simple? Most of the members of the Earth Kingdom Army are imprisoned."

Tao Zhu blinked. "Uh, yeah, we'll have to free them of course. I thought that was obvious."

My brain started working.

"No, it wasn't," Nanuk deadpanned, and Tao Zhu rolled his eyes.

"Where are the prisons in which the most soldiers or anything are held?" I asked, feeling slightly excited now.

"Ru Bay and Shun Bay. So east and south east from here," Takiro answered immediately.

Moon, was I thankful for the fact we had this man on our side. He knew so much important stuff about the politics of the Fire Nation.

"I think Tao Zhu's plan is good. We need to free them, otherwise we don't know if we have a chance," I said.

"But how will we get them in here?" Colonel Changpu wanted to know. "The walls are controlled by Dai Li agents."

"We won't get them in here," I answered, smiling. "We'll have them attack from the outside, while we attack from the inside."

"We'll have a double attack!" Tao Zhu and I said in unison. Oh, someone who thought like me!

We grinned at each other, and Tao Zhu winked. He was still young, I noticed. And kind of good looking. Mayba more on the pretty than the handsome side, but...

Nanuk slammed his fist on the table, glaring at Tao Zhu.

Everyone went quiet, staring at Nanuk. He glanced at all of us. "Er…"

"Yes?" Lieutenant Shian asked, expectedly.

Nanuk shrugged. "Nothing. I just don't want that guy to wink at my sister."

My arms were crossed, and I raised one hand a bit to splash the water from Nanuk's cup into his face.

He spluttered and wiped the water from his eyes and cheeks. I smirked.

"My name is Tao Zhu, jackass!" Tao Zhu barked. "And I wink at whoever the earthquake I want to wink at!"

"You'll get into an earthquake if you do that at my sister again!" Nanuk snarled. "Shithead!"

I bent the water away from Nanuk's face to splash both of them. It didn't stop them from insulting each other.

"That's why I didn't want to have any children here," Colonel Changpu murmured.

Major Geming bent a small earthquake under all of us.

The bickering stopped, but the water from all the cups was splashed.

"Urgh!" Cuiling looked down at her pants. "Great, thanks for nothing, Geming!"

Geming, who had stayed rather calm and quiet all evening, blushed and muttered an apology. I bent the water out of anyone's clothes and threw it into a corner, where no one else could be bothered by it.

"Kona and Tao Zhu, apologise to each other. We cannot have fights in our ranks," Colonel Aijian said in an appeasing voice.

I didn't get why Nanuk behaved so idiotically. Tao Zhu was probably already twenty years old, and besides, Nanuk had never shown any kind of protectiveness towards me regarding boys. Regarding the Fire Nation, yes, but boys? Nope.

They apologised with much grumbling.

Lieutenant Zemin brought us back to the main topic this evening. "So, Liwei and Tao Zhu think freeing our soldiers from Ru Bay and Shun Bay, making them attack the outer walls, and us attack from within will defeat the Fire Nation?"

I frowned. "Well, when you say it like that, it sounds stupid. It won't be easy, but I think it could work. Freeing the soldiers will be tricky, but after that is done, they'll have to get here as fast as possible. We'll need many earthbenders to transport them here quickly and unrecognised. Whatever village they encounter, they should ask for fighters to join us. Then," I grabbed three figures on the map representing rebels, "we'll attack the palace." I placed those three figures around the palace in a triangle. "From below and from the surface. We'll need earthbenders for this, too. We will end the power of the Dai Li and their brainwashing. Simultaneously, we will defeat the higher officers of the Fire Nation Army. And then we will drive them all out of the city."

Major Hanjing frowned. "I don't know if we can have that many earthbenders. And putting the Dai Li out will be especially hard."

Tao Zhu bit his lower lip. "I don't think so. We have two clear advantages."

"And what would those be?" Liang wanted to know.

"Takiro and me. Takiro works at the palace. He can find things out. And I am a former Dai Li agent, I know things about them." He shrugged.

A loud gasp went through all of us.

Major Tao Zhu? What? A former Dai Li agent? How was this even possible? I kind of always thought that no Dai Li agent could ever stop being a Dai Li agent.

"What do you know?" Lieutenant Shian asked, frowning, his arms crossed.

"The Dai Li won't stop operating, simply because we take their leader away. They are all like a well-oiled machine of creepiness, power-hunger, and stealth. I think we have to use a similar approach the Fire Princess used. We have to win them over. One agent means nothing to them, they are not like individuals, but they will always follow the masses. If we get more then the majority, we will have a chance."

Everyone seemed deep in thought and frowned.

How could this work? Winning the Dai Li over? They were already the worst traitors on earth, how could they possibly side with us? They didn't seem to care about the Earth Kingdom at all!

"But how is this possible?" Denzai asked, sounding worried.

Tao Zhu sighed. "I still have some friends in there. I'll try to push them in the right direction. Some of the agents were once also simple refugees. Maybe their hatred against the Fire Nation can resurface. Either way, only power and strength can convince them."

"The Dai Li are better trained than our soldiers. If we don't manage to get them on our side, it will quickly become nasty," Hanjing pointed out.

I swallowed. I didn't like the kind of way they talked about this. I hadn't started a rebellion to kill people; I just wanted this war to end.

I sucked my lower lip into my mouth, thinking. Would there be a way to win without having to kill more people? Without having to take more people away from their families?

"Takiro," Cuiling addressed him. "Do you think just getting rid of the higher Fire Army officers will be enough to defeat the Fire Nation here?"

Takiro's frown deepened, and he rubbed the side of his nose, thinking. "I guess it could work. Most Fire Nation soldiers only seem to fulfil their orders without really wanting to fight the citizens of Ba Sing Se. When they arrived here, the city was already conquered, so they didn't have to fight at all. If no commander will survive, they won't be able to strike back. They depend on the people above."

"Wait, can't we just imprison them?" I interjected.

Everyone stared at me as if I were an idiot. Even Denzai and Nanuk.

"What?" I gestured at Takiro. "You said Princess Azula only threw the council of five in prison! Why should we be the monsters and kill the Fire Nation officers?"

Changpu tutted. "That is not how you win a war, girl. Of course you'd want to leave everyone alive, and I guess Princess Azula only imprisoned the council of five, because she had a fit of womanly caring."

I snorted and narrowed my eyes. It had just been a matter of time, until some of those grown up, so experienced men would say anything sexist about having a girl in their midst! "Really? Because I met Princess Azula, and she's the least caring person I have ever encountered. She threatened to burn my family in our house down, and all the while she was smiling! I just don't want to be crueller than her!"

Takiro cleared his throat. "Well, actually, the generals seem to be tortured, while they are imprisoned. It doesn't serve any other purpose than to keep them from being strong enough to try to break out."

"So we cannot count on their help," I murmured. If they were that injured, they would need to be saved, obviously, but they wouldn't be able to fight with us.

Takiro told us all about the Fire Nation officers in the city he knew about and promised to look for more information before our next meeting. He also wanted to find out more about the prisons in Ru Bay and Shun Bay, as well as the occupied regions around.

The former members of the Earth Kingdom Army would all try to recruit people for our prison-break-mission and gather as much information about the prisons and their surroundings.

I wanted to look into Dad's atlases to find out what kind of way they would have to take.

Tao Zhu promised to talk to his former Dai Li colleagues, and try to find out more about where their current headquarters were. Nanuk and I told him that we had seen them in the crystal catacombs, and Tao Zhu seemed actually very pleased with this information.

Another thing I wanted to do was to come up with a less violent approach to the rebellion, because I really didn't want to have any blood on my hands. I wanted to spare as many lives I could, because in such a fight civilians always get injured and hurt, too. If we would use our brains instead of brawns and come up with a ruse, we could win this without having to spill a lot of blood.

The whole point of planning was in my opinion to win it with as little casualties as possible. That was the only reason why I wanted all this information from the others.

Before the meeting was over, I asked to speak again, because I had to say something. I especially looked at Colonel Changpu. "This rebellion is not about hurting the Fire Nation. It is not about killing their soldiers. It's about peace. We want to free the Earth Kingdom and this war to end, because war in itself is completely senseless! Millions of people died simply because of a few idiots who were at the top of all. So many innocent lives were wasted, and so many children had to die. We won't inflict the same fate on the Fire Nation, because then this war would never end! So everyone who does this for revenge should leave!"

I got quite diverse reactions to this. Some of them seemed to be a little angry, others seemed surprised at my little speech.

Takiro and Liang even smiled and almost looked proud.

Tao Zhu whistled through his teeth. "I think you should rule a nation. I bet the people would be the happiest on earth."

I felt taken aback, then I frowned and crossed my arms in front of my chest. "Do you think this is funny?"

"What?" His eyes widened in surprise. "No! No, totally not. I meant it. You are incredibly wise for your age. And I agree with everything you said."

I took a deep breath to calm myself and tried not to be too defensive. "I just value every people's lives. We shouldn't be able to choose who to live and who to kill. We're all just humans." I shrugged, thinking I had said everything I had to.

Nanuk didn't seem happy with what I said at all, same for Denzai, and I started to worry.

Hadn't we all been on the same page from the beginning? Didn't they see war itself as a terrible monster? Did they see the Fire Nation as a terrible monster instead?

"Liwei," Major Geming suddenly spoke up, sounding cautious. "I understand what you're saying, and I respect and admire your opinion. But if we would make everyone who wants revenge leave, we wouldn't be able to fight at all. We wouldn't have the advantage of numbers."

Hanjing and Zemin nodded reluctantly, while Changpu stroked his beard in a thinking way. Aijian was staring at the palace plans, and Cuiling was frowning at me.

I twisted my mouth. "I know that! It was just a matter of principle. I just wanted you to know why this rebellion started, after all, we weren't all here, if it weren't for me in the first place. And I cannot have you think that I would make certain decisions out of womanly caring." I glared at Changpu for a short moment, then at everyone else.

Some seemed to want to interject, but everyone kept their mouths shut, which was a real miracle.

Cuiling smiled. "You heard her. She's right. We wouldn't be here, if it weren't for her, so I say we should follow her request, or at least think about a way not to have to kill everyone on the other side."

Colonel Aijian nodded in approval, and Major Hanjing, who had apparently served under him, nodded immediately, too.

Colonel Changpu, the oldest of all of us, seemed a bit reluctant, but in the end he complied.

I fought hard not to grin.

oOo

"Did you really mean that?" Nanuk asked me, once we were back at home. He had followed me to my room and leaned now against my desk, while I picked up a notebook to write down some of the things we had discussed at the meeting.

"What are you talking about?" I asked absentmindedly.

"That you don't want anyone in the rebellion who wants revenge," he explained.

"Kind of. I know it's not possible to keep this a revenge-free rebellion, but our purpose is not taking revenge," I mumbled, searching my floor for a pen or quill. I had done my homework earlier lying on the floor, so I knew it couldn't be on my desk. This was the kind of order I had.

Nanuk was strangely quiet, and I looked up from my looking under clothes and books searching.

"What is it?" I asked, sitting on my heels, looking up at him.

He chewed on his lower lip, his ankles were crossed, as were his arms.

I frowned.

Huh, he seemed to be worried about something. He took a deep breath, then looked down at the ground. "I know this asshole who killed our mother is dead. But I still… I feel like… I don't know, I'm just still so angry. I know it was just his fault, but without the war it wouldn't have happened. And the whole Fire Nation fights this war. They all just think this is okay, and they can conquer, and occupy, and kill mothers!" Nanuk gritted his teeth, as his gaze turned dark.

Pain rose in my heart, as I realised that I had never noticed the anger Nanuk held in himself. Had I been too busy with myself? Uncle wanting me to get engaged, then Zuko, and then the rebellion…

I immediately got up and walked over to my brother. "I am angry, too, Nanuk. But… our mother is not the only one who died. So many mothers died. I'm not angry at the Fire Nation. I am angry at the world, the spirits, the universe. I don't know, whoever is responsible for all this suffering." My jaw clenched, but I tried to stay calm and laid a hand on Nanuk's shoulders. "It's okay to be angry. I just wouldn't want you to act on this anger. Think first, then act."

Nanuk pushed himself away from my desk and stepped aside so that my hand fell from his shoulder. I blinked and looked at his face in surprise. He glared at the floor.

"I knew you wouldn't understand," he muttered and walked towards my door.

"Nanuk, Zhao is dead!" I snarled, suddenly extremely pissed. I didn't understand? Was Nanuk serious? "He killed Mum, no one else! You cannot blame the whole Fire Nation for this!"

His head whipped around to meet my gaze. "You're such a hypocrite! I know exactly that you hurt this man in the Fire Nation! Why not, if you weren't angry because of Mum's death?!"

I sucked in a breath and took a step back, swallowing.

The anger on Nanuk's face vanished to be replaced by shock and regret. But he couldn't take back what he said.

"This man," I explained with a shaky voice, "had nothing to do with Mum's death. He spoke about waterbenders in a very offending and disgusting way. And I was still angry because of Mum's death. But after I hurt this man, I realised that it was senseless. Mum isn't coming back, and nothing will change if you achieve "justice" for her. Hurting this man shocked and frightened me. I don't ever want to do something like that again." My fists clenched, as I recalled the image of the man lying on the ground in the courtyard, his limbs lying in odd angles. The worst thing had been his face, when he had cried out that he couldn't feel his body anymore. I'd never forget this expression of pure horror.

Nanuk still looked shocked and angry, then he took deep breaths, before he looked at my door again. He just stood there, didn't say anything, and kept staring at my door.

I sighed. "I'm sorry, if you feel like I don't understand you, but I just cannot think that way anymore."

Nanuk nodded slowly, then sighed, too. He put his hair behind his ear, then gave me a half-hearted smile. "Okay, I won't act on my anger. I'll do as you say, rebel leader."

I actually blushed a little at this title. But I liked it and smiled at him, too. "Good. Now go to sleep. It's late, Nanuk."

He gave me a hug, tighter than normal, before he whispered "Good night" and left my room.

I was still shocked and surprised by his feelings and the things he had said and needed a few seconds to find out what to do with me now.

I had never thought that Nanuk had this kind of anger in him. I had known he was still greatly affected by Mum's death, since they had been very close. But that he hated the Fire Nation? He never had seemed hostile towards Zuko, and also when we had visited Dad's friend in the Fire Nation had Nanuk never seemed scornful towards fire people. He was the happiest and most carefree person I knew, and I had simply assumed that he was getting over Mum's death by moving on.

After I pondered on this, I got up to do a bit of waterbending in the courtyard to get my mind empty. I had noticed that I slept a lot better with an empty mind. And a bucket full of water next to my bed. Just in case. You never know.

Waterbending didn't calm me down this evening. I still felt antsy and worried, my thoughts didn't seem to be able to calm down, and I fell into an uneasy sleep with crazy and weird dreams, before I was woken up by the smell of smoke.

When I smelled the smoke, I suddenly also heard the cracking of the fire. Out of reflex, I took a deep breath and sat straight up to look around my room. Taking that deep breath had been a mistake, because I immediately started coughing, as the smoke burned in my windpipe.

I was not surrounded by fire yet. The way to the hallway was blocked, though, since my door and my furniture were burning.

All my notes! My scrolls and books! Shit!

Feeling panicked, I covered my mouth and nose, as I made my way to my desk to grab everything which seemed important that I could get my hands on. My book shelf was already lost, and I growled lowly in anger.

The door to our garden was still fire free, and I made it out without getting burned at all. After I laid down my books on the walls of the stone fountain, I went back into my room to gather my homework (still lying on the floor), and then I wanted to get the comb my mother had gifted me once which was lying on top of my dresser which was about to catch fire from the book shelf.

I took the water from my bucket and splashed the comb and its environment a bit so that the dresser wouldn't catch fire there. I hurried and brought the comb with my homework back to the fountain. Then I summoned a large amount of water from the fountain and bent it into my room, steadily putting the fire out. I knew it would be logical to put it all out, but I couldn't wait that long. With some water floating next to me in the form of a globe, I carefully opened my door, because I was afraid it could just fall down. The ceiling didn't seem very stable any more, too.

The hallway was completely alight with fire. It licked mostly on the furniture and doors, because everything else was fortunately made of rock, but I knew that the roof beams, which were made of wood, wouldn't be able to hold this for much longer.

Nanuk's room was the closest.

Before I had even attempted to open his door, it burst out of its hinges, being slammed into the wall by a rock.

"Nanuk!" I shouted.

He stumbled out of his room, his eyes red, while he kept coughing.

I carefully walked over to him, watching where I was going, and grabbed his arm.

We pulled us together into the direction of Dad's room, avoiding all the burning furniture and carpets as far as it was possible.

Tears fogged my view, and I had to use my precious water a few times to get us closer to Dad's room. He wasn't in there, and we immediately turned around to open the door to his office.

We were greeted with a sight we didn't see very often. Dad was earthbending. He bent panels from the floor and walls and smashed them onto the fire, suffocating it. Wow.

"Dad!" Nanuk coughed. "Let's get out of here!"

"But I have to save my work!" Dad yelled back, snuffing one of the last flames with a panel. "Help me put the fire out! We can all put the fire out!"

I frowned, but nodded. Nanuk had apparently breathed a lot of smoke in, so I chose to stay here with Dad.

I squeezed Nanuk's shoulder. "Go get San, and then get the tsunami out of here!"

"I'm not leaving you," he replied, frowning at me.

I smiled. "Come on, there's barely any fire left in here. And you have to go, you have to breathe fresh air, before you'll get smoke intoxication."

Nanuk nodded and left, stumbling to make his way to the kitchen, behind which San had her room. I just hoped she was still okay.

"Kira, do you have any water with you?" Dad called, when his curtains caught fire and the slapping them with panels method didn't quite work.

I used as little water as possible, but as much as was necessary.

"Do you really think we can put the fire out everywhere?" I shouted.

Dad nodded. "Yes, of course. You can get more water from the fountain."

Smiling, I turned towards the door to the garden, thinking that he was right. Suffocating the fire with earth and putting it out with water, this way we would be able to save our house. I didn't want to flee and watch it all burn from the outside. I wanted to fight for our things. Suddenly, I was thinking about the chaise longue in the basement, the one from our house on Kyoshi, and I even got more determined in wanting to save this house.

That's when I heard that sound. It was high pitched and it came closer, rapidly.

Without thinking, I somehow accessed the situation, took all the water I had with me, ran, then jumped in front of Dad at the window and pulled the water up to form a shield against the explosive. I bent the water into ice, and the explosive hit it, burst it and all I could see was so much fire I had never seen before in my whole life, right in front of me, right in my face.

I know I thought that this is how I imagined it to be when a dragon breathed fire upon someone. Roaring, cracking, from the middle of your view unto the edges, bright yellow, almost white in the middle and dissolving into orange on the edges.

The heat was horrible. I felt like I was burning, like my face was melting and roasting, just like a kebab. Everything hurt, and I flew back through the room.

Then I lost consciousness.

_**Zuko**_

I must have been very desperate. Really, really desperate.

I cannot remember the last time I actually meditated. It must have been at some day in Uncle's and my apartment in the lower ring. I hadn't stayed long enough in the apartment in the upper ring to get the opportunity to meditate there, and at the Earth King's palace I had always practised with Azula in the mornings, and it had quite irritated me that she didn't meditate. So, of course, I had tried to go without meditating, too. Just to prove to myself that I could do it.

Well, I noticed I couldn't.

One hour before sundown, I had found a spot behind Lo and Li's house on Ember Island between bushes, where no one would be able to see me. The sun shone directly on me, and I had lit a candle in front of me. I was ashamed that I had to do this, but without it I might just explode tonight.

I had already shouted at Mai earlier, and that wasn't good. After dinner, we had gone to Azula's and my room, leaving Azula to roll her eyes and walk off to Ty Lee's room. She had said that she felt generous today, and would allow me to spend the rest of the evening before the party in our room with my girlfriend. Sometimes I felt quite okay with her bossy and arrogant self, but sometimes I got very angry at that. Today, it had only been the latter.

Azula and I needed to share a room, because it was appropriate when siblings shared a room, but not when teenage couples did so, and Lo and Li only had two spare rooms in their beach house. I thought this was a stupid rule and that it sucked, but I wasn't adventurous enough to try and break it.

Mai had pulled me into my room, saying I should try to ignore Azula. That had been very easy, after Mai had kissed me, but… it had been weird afterwards. I might not be the experienced type of teenager in those things, but Mai and I had already made out quite a lot. And I really, really, really liked it. And I thought she'd liked it, too, but earlier…

When we had made out before, Mai had always been more active than today, and that annoyed me. Earlier, she had just lied there, and when I had looked at her, she had stared at the ceiling, her face completely neutral, her hands at her sides, and I had felt this incredible, dark anger rising within me. It didn't seem to matter what I did, nothing pleased her today.

"What's up?" I had asked, relying on the more logical emotion: concern. Maybe Mai was worried or bothered by something. I couldn't just get angry at her, if I didn't even know that I had a reason to be angry at her.

"Nothing;" she had answered, not even looking at me, but still staring at the ceiling.

Frowning, I looked up there, too, but only saw the roof beams and a ceiling fan. What was Mai staring at?

I pulled her top back down and climbed back upwards so that we were face to face. Gently, I laid a hand on her cheek. "You're not really there, Mai. Is something bothering you?"

Yep. Show concern. That was the way.

Just not the way with Mai.

She rolled her eyes and pushed me off her.

My eyes widened in surprise and indignation.

"Zuko, I said nothing is wrong, so why do you keep asking?" Her question sounded annoyed, and I felt my anger rising again.

I lifted myself on my elbows and stared at her, narrowed my eyes. "Like I said. You're not here with your thoughts. We were just making out, but you looked like you were bored out of your mind!" My voice didn't rise, and I was extremely proud of myself. Normally, I would start shouting at this point.

"I wasn't!" Mai replied, sounding a bit sniffy.

"Then why were you like this?" Okay, now I got louder. "I thought you liked that," I added, and hated myself in the next moment for it, because I sounded so confused and even a little hurt. Clenching my jaw, I quickly looked away, forming fists over the blanket.

"I do, and that's why I didn't tell you to stop," Mai answered, and I couldn't hear any emotion in her voice.

I scowled. Okay, so maybe this was a bit about my pride. About my male ego. Which I didn't have much of. I only knew I was a great sword fighter and a decent firebender. I had thought I could add good or maybe even great boyfriend to the list of the things I was good at, but apparently that had been too much to ask. Everything I had wanted was for Mai to smile at me and say thank you, or at least not try to hide her feelings while making out! I mean, I wasn't a mind reader, how would I know she liked what I did, if I couldn't hear her or read her face.

"Oh, wow, great, you didn't tell me to stop!" I snarled and jumped off the bed. "Actually, I would prefer if you told me to stop, if I could at least see that you like what I'm doing!"

Mai rolled her eyes. "Some girls might just sigh over you while you take off your shirt, but I'm not that kind of dumb girl," she said huffily, as if every other girl only had three brain cells.

My eyes narrowed even more. Great, now she had reminded me of how she had said dumb girls might like the shell I had wanted to gift her. In my opinion, it weren't dumb girls who liked presents like that, but nice girls. Girls who valued the gesture, not the actual thing.

But after Ty Lee had exclaimed that she found the shell pretty, I had dismissed that thought.

"I'm not asking you to sigh over me!" I snapped. "Just… Urgh!" I threw my hands up in the air. _Just show me somehow that I matter to you, too! _I had wanted to say. But I knew this sounded too pathetic and weak. I wasn't craving for affection or love or anything. I was a dragondamned prince, and if I really wanted, I could have any other girl.

Yeah, that thought only lasted a second. Just the thought of having to introduce myself to a girl I could fancy was making me uncomfortable, and there was the problem that the imaginary girl had Mai's face, because I didn't want anyone else than her.

Now Mai raised an eyebrow. "Calm down a bit, okay? There is no reason to get so worked up," she said in her monotone kind of voice.

She had only used it in the beginning in Ba Sing Se, when we hadn't been reacquainted really, and we had both been like strangers to each other. But after we had got together she had slowly opened up, smiling, chuckling, and blushing more. Her voice had never sounded like this, and now it did again, and I hated it!

I hated that the more frustrating Mai became, the more I thought about Kilara and started comparing the two. I didn't want to do that. It wasn't fair to Mai, and Kilara had only pretended to be my friend, because… Well, I actually didn't know why, but in the end she hadn't wanted to stay my friend (maybe, I still had this assumption that her family forced her to say these things), and thinking about Kilara made me think about Ba Sing Se in general, and Ba Sing Se made me think about what happened in the crystal catacombs, and thinking about that just made everything worse!

I took deep, erratic breaths and really tried to calm myself, not because Mai had said so, but because the muddle in my head was getting too much to bear without screaming.

But my breaths didn't calm anything, I felt myself heat up as I seemed to lose control over my emotions.

"Zuko…" Mai sounded confused, but apparently noticed that something was wrong.

I quickly left the room, slammed the door and walked out briskly. I needed to be alone right now. I needed to bury this flash of feelings and images I always got whenever I thought about my time in Ba Sing Se.

The happiness I had had there wasn't what I wanted from life. It wouldn't ever have been enough. Uncle and Kilara couldn't have been enough.

I made the right choice. I chose rightly, I did what had been expected of me. I chose like the prince of the Fire Nation that I was.

Pressing my hands to my eyes, I repeated this over and over in my head, nodding along, and remembered Father's proud words towards me, the way he had not contorted his eyebrows in irritation at me, but that his face had looked completely smooth. Yes, that was what I had worked for. This was what I wanted.

I understood this after a while, but I still felt angry at Mai, and so I wandered off to let off steam, but then noticed that it didn't work.

I felt exhausted and my throat burnt, but my insides and my feelings were still discordant. And so I had used the last resource I always had. What would Uncle tell me to do?

He would say I needed to meditate.

I had first refused to, and argued with myself that I really didn't need to meditate anymore. I was no baby, and my control was fine, but while thinking this I had already been back in the house, searching for a candle and hiding from Mai.

I overheard her, Ty Lee and Azula talking on the balcony, while I was looking through cupboards in the living room.

One should think that two old ladies who seemed to love all kinds of worthless trinkets would have a few candles somewhere!

"He made me worry a bit, you know," Ty Lee said, her voice small.

Azula tsked. "Oh, please. He just has his period, that's all."

"Ha ha," Mai said, still sounding bored.

"But his aura seems more unsure of what to be than ever," Ty Lee said, now sounding a bit whiny. "We have to help him somehow!"

"Don't talk like that! You barely know him!" Azula scolded and made me frown. It really sounded weird to hear her scolding someone.

Who were they talking about?

"I know him quite well! We spent a lot of time together," Ty Lee argued, sounded a little bit indignant.

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. Ty Lee could sound like that?

"Yeah, just this morning," Mai said sarcastically.

Wait, were they talking about these guys from earlier? Those two arrogant, pompous assholes from the beach? Jerkface and Dickface?

Normally, I didn't give people any nicknames, but I wasn't really good with names, while I was good with faces, and I hadn't been listening when they had introduced themselves to us this afternoon.

Dragons, something was really wrong with me, if I gave people I didn't like stupid nicknames in my head! I didn't do that! I hadn't even named Zhao anything else than Zhao. Sure, I had shouted and ranted about him, but I had never called him names! This was just something to do for p… er, lower class people.

Perhaps I had spent too much time with lower class people. Too much time with Kilara and listening to her complaints about her classmates Cheng, Fu, and Shi, who she had called various names. I had been pretty surprised and shocked by that at the time. I found it undignified to swear or call people names, but to each his own.

"Well, what would you suggest then?" Ty Lee snapped back at Mai.

I contorted my eyebrows even more. Ty Lee snapped? What the magma was going on out there?

Mai sighed. "I guess us going to the party could cheer him up."

My eyes widened, and I suddenly saw red.

What? WHAT?!

She wanted to go to this stupid party to cheer up Jerk- or Dickface? Urgh, who of the two has it been?

I clenched my fists, and slowly rose from my crouch, as I noticed a candlestand on the dresser I had been searching. Taking a deep sigh and scolding me for missing the forest for the trees, I grabbed a candle and quickly made my way out.

To be caught eavesdropping by the three girls was the last thing I needed now.

I had been able to calm down a little bit through meditation, but I still felt furious about what Mai had said. She was my girlfriend, for dragons' sake! Why did she want to cheer someone else up? She didn't even seem to bother to cheer me up, so what was this shit?

Just a few minutes before we had to leave to get to the party on time, I told myself to act like I hadn't heard a thing earlier, until that guy would try to make a move on Mai. Then I would see how she responded and I would only do something like beat him into next week, if it would seem to be necessary to me.

Huh, that was an awfully logical approach. I smirked shortly. Maybe I started to think like Azula. Wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. Either way, I felt quite pleased with me, as I headed back to get changed for the first party I would ever be to.

_**Kilara **_

First, I was only unconscious, but I think I fell asleep at some point, because I had a nightmare. Before I awoke, I saw myself standing in our living room, facing Princess Azula.

She threatened to burn our house down again, but instead of leaving in this frightening, arrogant way she had actually done, she instead started bending flames from her hand, unleashing large flames of fire to every corner of the room, and straight towards me.

Her fire wasn't blue like I heard it would be, but brightly yellow and orange instead, just like a normal campfire.

I burnt, but I didn't hurt. I didn't even burn down, while everything else around me did. I couldn't stop the princess. I wasn't strong enough, and the fire licking on my body stopped me.

The walls to the hallway came down, and I could see Nanuk and Dad stumbling out of their rooms, only to be incinerated with two simultaneous fire blasts from the princess.

"NOOOOOOO!" I screamed, shouted, and felt how my heart broke.

Very suddenly I opened my eyes.

I didn't wake up shouting, nor being calmed down by other people, I just lied in a bed, staring at a ceiling, my eyes wide open. After a few seconds I realised I was awake, and that Azula had only been a dream. The fire wasn't real.

I moved and hurt.

Panic rushed through me. My dream…?

I contorted my face in pain, as I tried to sit up. Groaning, I quickly checked myself and noticed pain coming from my shins, my chest, throat and face. The pain was dull, as if someone had given me pain killers, but frowning, I noticed that my hurting areas were also covered in bandages.

Princess Azula had been a dream, but there had really been a fire. As much as I wanted it to have been a dream, it wasn't.

Where was my family? Were they all well? Did we all make it out?

Looking around, I realised that I was sitting in a hospital bed. The room was large, many other beds stood on both sides, but only very few people lied in them. The beds next to mine were both empty, and I also couldn't see a nurse or something like a doctor somewhere.

Pressing my eyes shut, I tried to concentrate and sort things out in my head. Okay, what were the most important things? Finding Nanuk, Dad, and San. Healing them if they were injured. Making sure my books were all fine. Finding out what happened to our house. Then I should try waterhealing on myself. And lastly, finding the cause to the fire and making sure this would never ever happen again.

After I cleared that out, I took a deep breath. "Hello?" I shouted, but didn't get a tone out. I just rasped and my throat hurt so much.

I swallowed, wetting my gorge, and tried again. "Hhhhhhh…" What? The Tsunami was happening? What had happened?

Quickly, I raised my hands to touch the bandages around my throat. My injuries seemed to be only superficial. Nothing felt strange, except for the fact that I couldn't speak!

Were my vocal cords somehow burnt? Had I inhaled too much smoke? What the tsunami was going on?

In a fit of panic, I felt my lower lip trembling.

How was I going to call for help? How was I going to call for Nanuk?

How would I find my family like this, if I couldn't even ask about them?

Tears welled up behind my eyes. Moon, I just wanted my family right now! I needed Nanuk and Dad, and… my mum! I needed my mum!

The tears started falling.

I couldn't believe I cried over my mum right now. She wouldn't have comforted me, I know that. She would have told me to keep calm, control myself, and think first. She wouldn't have hugged me and rubbed soothing circles on my back. She stopped doing that after I had had my first period. But I wanted her to do it again! Anyone could tell me to keep calm in such a situation, but only Mum could hug me the way she had done, and only she smelled and felt like her!

As only air came out of my mouth, my cries were silent.

* * *

_Whew, we're getting somewhere! Finally! Slowly, but we're definitely moving... I never really plan actions into chapters, I only plan the actions, and then I write until I have about 10,000 words, and sometimes that makes everything slower..._

_About Zuko and Mai: I always found it strange that Mai acted way more carefree and open in the comic about them getting together than in every other moment of the series. She laughed, for goodness's sake! Mai never laughs in the entire series! So I was wondering why her behaviour changed, and I think the fact that nothing was expected of her, and no one asked her to behave herself in the lower ring just put her more at ease. I guess being back in the Fire Nation Capital makes her fall into old habits and put her mask back on. She probably also found herself falling more and more for Zuko, which might frighten her. So she tries to act aloof and keep him down so that he won't know of her feelings for him. So that he cannot hurt her. I always had the impression Mai was the one loving more in their relationship, and I think this frightened her, because she didn't want to get hurt. At least, that's my interpretation. _

_Since getting from all happy, sunset watching couple to bored, shouty, we're-breaking-up-couple without anything in between seemed strange to me, I tried to show the beginnings of their later fight. I also always found it very strange that Zuko was onto Ruon Jian (is that his name? the guy with the long hair and the side parting) from the very beginning and directly accused Mai of liking him. That was always a touch too much paranoia or jealousy to me. I mean, Mai is totally right, she hardly knows that guy. So I put in the part in which Zuko overhears Mai talking about cheering up some guy at a party to explain Zuko's focused anger on that guy. Of course, Zuko was overhearing Mai talking about himself. I actually find Zuko's behaviour in The Beach very ridiculous, also his show of stomping like a bull on the beach, when Azula wanted to know why she and Zuko weren't invited to the party as well. His gestures for Mai are all very sweet, although I kind of understand her reactions to them. I always thought that Zuko cannot _gift _her a shell, since it is not up to him to decide what happens to the shell, since it is not his property. He had to own the shell before giving it to Mai, but the shell belonged to the beach and ocean and not to him! Although I think that Mai could have at least said that she appreciated the gestures, and not the thing. But maybe Mai isn't just a big romantic and doesn't get what Zuko wants to tell her with all that. And honestly, her reply about the ice cream being refreshing, when it landed in her lap was quite funny. It was just Zuko's bad luck that the ice cream fell from its cone, and I don't think Mai was criticising him with this. Well, no one knows for sure why she acted like this, apart from Bryke and whoever wrote this episode. I think it was Katie Mattila, since she seemed to like the Zuko and girls episodes (e.g. The Tale of Zuko), but I'm not sure.  
_

_And about Mai not responding to making out: I just had this idea in my head that Mai would try not to show any feelings for Zuko, just to see if she could. She just wants to know if she can even suppress these feelings for him, since she really shows much more feelings around him than around anyone else. So it's like practice to her. I don't really have a lot against Mai, but I must say that she sounds very nicer in my native language than in English. In English she's just like a giant blah of nothing, even when she's happy. In my native language she at least sounds annoyed the whole time. So that's also probably a reason why I like her. If I had grown up with the English version, I don't know if I could like her. While writing I try to describe her voice as her English voice, but I don't know if I succeed, since I think that my Mai sounds annoyed a lot. _

_About the fire: since if I wouldn't write this here, you wouldn't know for aaaaaages, since I will only explain it in the fic in like two years after the end of the war, I decided to give you the answer straight away. Yes, the house was burnt on Azula's order. Zuko wasn't willing to leave Ba Sing Se on that mornig after all, and Azula first had to bring up the topic of Uncle Iroh to convince Zuko to come with them. Technically, this means that Kilara failed at making him leave, and that's why Azula thought her punishment had to be delivered. It only happens so late, because Zuko still left in the end, and Azula isn't that cruel. She thought she might still give those peasants two weeks to live. In my opinion, this is even crueller. Kilara was already so relieved that Zuko left and thought her family was safe. So Azula struck when everyone was already thinking they were out of danger. Classic Azula. _

_But if you want to know if anyone beside Kilara survived, and if she will ever regain her voice, you'll have to wait for the next chapter... This might take a little longer, since I have two other fics to catch up to, too. _

**_Answers to reviews: _**

_To _uchihaNaruto247_: Since I still had some things to tell you, you'll get a second answer. Well, things never stay well for any characters for a long time... And since it might seem to people that Kilara had an awful load of luck... Well, we all know the universe has to be balanced again at some point... Yeah, I thought that showing Zuko in the Fire Nation will be tricky, but I never thought he really felt comfortable there. Maybe there were moments when he liked being there, but I don't think he felt so all the time, not even in the beginning. These past three years are much more present to him now than the years he spent in the palace. They are also part of an important part of the life of any person, so I think they might feel very important to him. Zuko could never behave in the palace the way he behaved on his own ship, so a lot of things change for him, and he feels strange getting used to them. I want to move from a slight, but ignored discomfort to a frustrating, but still suppressed discomfort to open contempt on the day of black sun. Well, I hope the new summary seems more interesting. I really hate writing summaries...  
_


	21. Chapter 21

_Hi everyone! I'm finally updating! I started writing this chapter rather late, since I first wrote other chapters for other stories, so that's why this took so long. But I think I'm getting better. There was certainly a time, in which I didn't update for longer. _

_Here's the next chapter! I guess you're all anxious to find out what happened to Kilara. This chapter starts directly after the wrecking of Chan's party. The episode The Beach ends with a picture of Ty Lee grinning wildly and hugging Mai and Azula, while Zuko stands next to Mai, his arm around her waist, while there's a big fire behind them. This picture looks like a painting, and since it is not normal for Avatar episodes to end in a painting, I decided the episode simply showed us a painting. So, in this chapter, there's a painter painting Azula, Ty Lee, Mai, and Zuko in front of Chan's house, which Azula decided to burn down, after all the party guests had fled. I mean, what else could be burning behind them? In my opinion, the idea of the painting is pretty macabre, but... I don't know, I just thought about the end of the episode, and then I wrote about what could happen afterwards.  
_

_It didn't escape my notice that this is the second chapter in a row with a burning house. Houses seem to have quite a strong meaning in these chapters. First, Kilara's house burns down, then Zuko breaks into his own old house, and then helps burning down Chan's house. I didn't mean this to mean anything, I just noticed since I am so drilled from school and university to notice symbols in literature. And now I do, even in my own... I wish I wouldn't. Since most symbols aren't there to really mean anything. Mostly it is just coincidence, and the author didn't think about what something they wrote could mean. _

_Anyway... hopefully, you'll enjoy this chapter, and please let me know what you think! Reviews mean the world to me:) _

_I hope you're all staying safe and healthy! _

_I do not own Avatar The Last Airbender, nor its characters. The only characters I own are my OCs. _

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-One**

**Burns, Bruises, and Cuts**

_**Zuko**_

The painter handed Azula the painting, for which she paid.

I rolled my eyes. Scaring the poor man into painting us in front of a burning house wasn't like I had imagined my evening. To destroy that party had been… okay. At least, I was able to see the grin on Chan's face disappearing and reducing him to a crying, whimpering baby. If he had any strength or power, he could have stopped us. Well, no, he could have tried to stop us. But he didn't. He was no fighter, he was only muscular to attract girls on the beach. It didn't have anything to do with a purposeful workout.

It was disgusting.

"Ooooo, that's a lovely painting," Ty Lee gushed, leaning over Azula's shoulder to look at it.

Mai smiled slightly, as she approached them.

"Father is going to kill me!" Chan wailed from the entrance door, his hands in his hair as he stared at the burning house.

I frowned. He wasn't doing anything, aside from kneeling and crying. Wasn't he going to try to put the fire out? If he wasn't a firebender, then maybe get a bucket and fill it with water? Gosh, this guy annoyed me even more now that I knew all his confident appearance was just an act.

I rolled my eyes and looked over to the girls. "Can we go now?"

Clearly I was anxious to leave, because if we wouldn't, I would grab Chan, yell at him and probably help him to put the fire out. But I also really much wanted to spend some alone time with Mai.

We had finally worked through our differences, and it felt like nothing was going to get between us again. When Mai had shouted at Azula, I swear, my heart had made a leap. I wanted to make Mai smile again, blush, and act more playful, like she had been in Ba Sing Se and on the ship.

"Wait a moment, Zuko, look at the painting. Is it satisfying?" Azula waved me over.

Blowing my fringe out of my eyes, I walked over to them, and studied the painting. Frowning, I looked down on myself to check what I was wearing. The girls were wearing the same things on the painting they really wore, but my shirt was different. It actually looked better, but it didn't make any sense at all. We were at Ember Island, in summer, so why the hell should I wear something with long sleeves? The people of the majority of the Fire Nation didn't even wear long sleeves in winter, as it rarely got colder than eighteen degrees (Celsius).

I looked over to Azula, who regarded me with sparkling eyes, her lips curved into a slight smirk. I took a deep breath. Great. She expected me to flip out over the mistake of my painted clothes. She wanted me to act like the prince I was and punish the painter.

"Are we still pretending not to be who we are?" I whispered to her.

Azula smirked wider. "Do whatever you like, Zuzu." With that, she turned around, waving Mai and Ty Lee to follow her.

Mai gave me a sympathetic look, as she turned around to follow them down to the beach.

I took a deep breath. I should shout at the shaking painter to satisfy Azula.

I held his painting into his face. "Do I look like I'm wearing a long sleeved shirt?"

The painter stretched out his shaky hands to take the painting from me, then lowered it to look at me. His eyes widened in fear, as he fell to his knew to beg forgiveness. "Please sir, I am sorry. I meant no disrespect."

_I meant no disrespect. _It was a common phrase in the Fire Nation. A nation where respect and honour were more valued than kindness and friendship.

I wished I could just go and leave him, not thinking about this. I wished Azula hadn't noticed his mistake, but of course she did. Azula spotted weakness like millipede mosquitoes the light.

I closed my eyes. Dragons, how much I hated this! People begging for forgiveness in front of me… It always reminded me of the day I was burnt, the day I was weak, and therefore banished.

My hands formed fists, as I tried to shove the sickening feelings down. I would not be weak again. I took a step forward and grabbed the man by his shirt, making him look up at me. His eyes were even wider now, the white clearly surrounding his iris, the red lines visible. He was maybe Uncle's age, or a bit younger, his hair receding, the lines in his face told me of a difficult life, his brown skin that he spent every day outside, probably at the market, proposing to tourists to paint them.

"Are you a firebender?" I asked growling.

The man's eyes widened even more, his brows contorting, as he quickly nodded. "Yes, sir."

Oh, shoot. I had really hoped he would say no.

"Defend your honour," I hissed.

I didn't want to say the words Agni Kai out loud, but I expected the man to understand what I meant.

He did.

I pulled him up on his shirt and let him go.

He stumbled a bit, still shaking, swallowing again and again.

"Hey!" Chan shouted, as he walked closer to us. "G-go fight on the beach, not on my stairs!"

I rounded on him. "You want to be next?"

Chan stopped mid step, his hands turned up and outward, as he quickly shook his head. "No, er, I just… You already destroyed my house, so… Would you please not set all the bushes aflame?" He pointed at the azaleas next to the front door.

My fire wasn't that wild. If I would fight against someone here, my fire wouldn't even come close to the flowers, but maybe the painter's would. I had to think about how Azula used to set the flowers in our garden on fire, when she thought they weren't pretty enough. Mother had always scolded her and told us it was important that we respected nature and its beauty, even if it didn't mean anything to us, but to other people.

I cringed at the thought at how much I had respected things important to other people tonight.

Sighing, I looked back at the house. I bit on my lower lip as I was thinking things over.

Then, I turned around and shot a fireball down over the beach in the direction of Lo's and Li's house. I wanted to see whether Azula and the others had got far enough.

I couldn't see them anymore, so I knew what to do.

"You!" I shouted and pointed at Chan.

He flinched and screeched quietly.

I frowned, wishing he would stop acting like a coward. It was unnerving.

"Grab the painter and hold him here," I bellowed.

Chan looked a little unsure, as he gazed over at the old man. "I, uh…"

Taking a step forward, I extinguished the flames on the doorframe. "Do so and I'll extinguish the fire. If I'll be back, and the painter is gone, you're gonna pay. If I'll be back, and both of you will be gone, I'm going to track you down and make you pay," I growled, stepping closer to stare Chan in the eye.

He swallowed and nodded, as he stepped around me and grabbed the painter's arms, bringing them on his back.

I glared at them for a few seconds, before I walked into the house.

The process of extinguishing the fire was tiring. I had to fall into a deep sidestep, turn my upper body and move my arms to extinguish the fire. Uncle had showed me how to use that trick. He'd said the movements were different from firebending, because it was about putting fire out and not producing it. As it was its opposite, Uncle had developed this technique by studying waterbending, too.

I wasn't used to such movements, but I didn't need to use any muscles that I normally didn't use, so at least my thighs didn't start burning. The constant heat and smoke was a bigger problem, however.

For a very short moment, I found myself wishing to be a waterbender.

After having freed the ground storey of fire, I walked up the steps to the first floor, where the fire hadn't had enough time to spread widely yet.

I breathed twice to calm myself, lowered myself into the stance, as I drew every fire in the storey towards myself, forming a giant fireball in front of me. My moves were again different from the firebending I learned. I used what Uncle taught me, and what I had seen Kilara practise in her garden.

I tried not to think about what Father would think of me, using waterbending techniques to extinguish fire.

My arms moved more fluently as they ever had, and the fireball in front of me grew until it looked like a sun.

When all the fire of the storey was part of the fireball, I made a sweeping motion with my arms and the ball dissipated into tiny flames which disappeared in thin air.

I took a deep breath and sat on the floor to cool myself down.

So I had helped Chan. I had put a fire out that Azula and I had started. I had acted against my sister's will, but…

Groaning I let my head fall forward. I was the oldest! I should be more powerful than Azula, dammit! And while I was acting like some soft weakling, Father would never make me Crown Prince again.

But I couldn't set this place on fire again. I just couldn't. And I also couldn't punish Chan for being an arrogant asshole. He hadn't known who we are, so it wasn't his fault. Normal teenagers wouldn't burn a house down, because one of them had been thrown out of a party. Wait. Did that mean Azula had done this for me?

I frowned.

I was pretty sure she hadn't. Then what had happened so that she wanted to punish Chan? What had happened between them?

Widening my eyes, I quickly stood up, darted down the stairs, through the living room and out of the house.

Chan was struggling with the old man, who was trying to set Chan's vest on fire.

When they saw me, they both stilled in their struggling.

I walked up straight to Chan. "What did you do to my sister?" I snarled.

His face paled, and I knew something had happened.

I shoved the old man out of my way and went up in Chan's space. It annoyed me that he was taller than me. However, he still seemed frightened.

"Don't make me regret putting that fire out. I can just ignite it again," I threatened and conjured a flame in my hand.

"We kissed!" Chan cried out, an octave higher than his usual voice. He straightened himself again and cleared his throat. "Well, and I thought she was nice, but then she was talking about ruling the Earth with her, and she had this blue fire, and… That was kind of a turn off?" His explanation sounded like questions.

Frowning, I took a step back from him and pinched the bridge of my nose.

Oh, Azula…

"So you turned her down?"

Chan nodded slowly. "Yeah, er… She seemed a little crazy…"

My sigh was so loud it was almost a groan. "Okay," I answered. "Sorry for the fire. My sister is… complicated. Just tell your father thieves broke in."

He nodded again, pressing his lips together.

I looked back at the painter, who was still clutching the painting he had made of us in his hands. "It's dark," I said. "It's difficult to see in the darkness, and things get mixed up." I tried to gently take the painting away from him, and then helped him up to stand. "I'm sorry for shoving and scaring you," I said.

The man didn't seem to know what to say as he stammered a little.

I tried to appease him a bit more and pointed at myself on the painting. "I would have actually preferred wearing something like this instead of this," I pointed at the shirt I was actually wearing and made my voice sound nicer. I thought that smiling was too much, and maybe then the man would be even more afraid of me.

"I should go now," I said and pointed over my shoulder down to the beach.

Chan and the painter looked both slightly confused, but I decided to let it be here. I didn't need to explain my actions to them.

So I turned around and left.

Down on the beach I suddenly felt calm. I hadn't felt so calm in a long time. The feeling was more than welcome, although I didn't understand why it was there. I hadn't acted like Azula had wanted me to. I had used Uncle's teachings. These were reasons for me to be angry at myself. This was why I was angry.

But knowing where my anger came from and who it was directed at had a baffling effect. It already helped. It felt like I was less angry. I still was, of course, but knowing why felt like a burden had been lifted off my shoulders. I felt lighter, freer.

Before I arrived at Li's and Lo's house, I turned toward the ocean and stared up at the starry night sky. I remembered how I had feared on the ship heading towards the capital not seeing the ocean soon again, yet here I was. And the ocean was beautiful, as it had always been. It was raw and untamed and wide, as it had always been.

I took a few steps towards the shore and sat down on the sand, which had cooled down and wasn't as hot as it had been during the day.

For a long time, I just sat there, listening to the waves, feeling the wind and finding constellations in the stars I had learned while at sea. The moon was full and illuminated the night, standing right above me at its zenith.

Tonight had been… eventful. My mind wandered back to our old beach house, the picture I had burnt… Maybe it was alright. We were never going to be that family again. By keeping the picture I would have been reminded of that over and over again. But Mother was gone, Father was different, and Azula and I had grown up. Azula would never be the little sister from back then, and Father would never be encouraging again, would never make an effort again.

I rubbed my hands over my face, as I recognised the dryness in my throat and the prickle behind my eyes. Sighing, I let myself fall back on the sand, staring up at the moon.

This was the princess of the Northern Water Tribe.

Could she see me? Did she even see what was going on down here? Or maybe she didn't care at all? Like all the spirits never had seemed to care about what happened.

The screech of a raptor got me out of my musing, and I quickly stood up. The sound was a lower pitched screech, something I only knew from raven eagles.

I put my head back and searched he sky. Maybe I could see the bird, before it flew away.

It came from the east, and I recognised it immediately. My eyes widening, I quickly stood up and looked around the beach. If anyone else knew the bird, and would see it with me, and recognise me, my secret would be no secret anymore.

The raven eagle landed on my outstretched arm, and I quickly took the letter from its box on his back. As soon as I had it, the black and white bird took off again.

Taking a deep breath, I unrolled the message and read only three sentences:

_The Avatar is still alive. _

_No one knows of it. _

_I will kill him. _

I cringed a little. I really had hoped I was wrong. But of course, whenever it would worsen my life, I was right. I could never be right about something good.

Trying not to think about the fact that it would be like me killing the Avatar was hard. I wouldn't strike personally, but the kid would still die because of me. I had never killed anyone! And killing the boy had never been my goal, but… I didn't have a choice now. It would all have been better if Azula had just really killed him in Ba Sing Se.

"Zuko!"

Jerking, I quickly tried to hide the message, as I turned around to see Ty Lee walking towards me. She was wearing a light pink nightgown with frills on the edges, and her hair was down.

Turning completely around to stand in front of her, I raised my eyebrows. "What are you doing here?"

"I couldn't sleep. I didn't know you were here," she explained. "What are you doing here?"

I turned back towards the ocean. "I don't know. I'm exhausted, but there's still so much going on in my head. Today was… quite intense."

"Yes, you're right." She stepped next to me, and I gazed at her out of the corner of my eye. Had I ever seen her with her hair down? I couldn't remember. It was wavy and long, shining bluish in the moonlight.

"I'm sorry," I quickly said.

Ty Lee looked at me, her eyes wide and her face confused. She cocked her head to the side. "What are you sorry about?"

"About what I said. That was shitty, and…" I sighed. "Maybe I was also a little envious."

Her reaction surprised and also hurt me a little. She laughed. She just laughed, holding her stomach and bending over.

Frowning, I crossed my arms in front of my chest. "What's so funny?" I growled.

Still giggling, she looked up again. "Oh, it's just that… Azula earlier told me she was jealous of me, and now you…!" She chuckled again a bit, putting her hair behind her ear. "You two are the most perfect people I know! And you're jealous of me!"

I blinked, feeling completely confused. "What?"

She pressed her hand against her mouth, stifling her laughter. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have laughed. You just completely caught me off guard!"

I took a step away from her and looked at her from the side. I didn't get it. Did she just say she considered me to be on the same level as Azula?

"No, er… Sorry, I'm confused."

Ty Lee then smiled widely, as she put her hands into the pockets of her gown. "You don't have to apologise, Zuko. But thanks anyway."

"NO!" I flinched at the volume of my voice and cleared my throat. "I mean, no, I have to apologise. I was being mean, and… I lashed out at you, because…" Sighing, I let my head fall forward. "You were right earlier. The painting meant something to me, but I didn't want it to. I wanted… to burn those feelings away."

When I felt her hand on my back, I quickly looked up again.

Ty Lee's eyes were void of their usual happiness, and she looked compassionate, as her brows furrowed slightly, and her eyes seemed serious. "It must have been hard. Being reminded of these days back then with your mother."

I smiled. "No, that wasn't the bad part. My mother was a good mother, I know that. It's just… Father and Azula who were different back then. I felt more like being part of a family. And now… I don't know what to feel anymore."

"Azula cares, too. She might not be good at showing it, but she does," Ty Lee said, squeezing my shoulder.

"How do you do that? Keep focusing on the good things and finding fun and something to be happy about everywhere?" I suddenly asked, looking at her.

She twisted her mouth and tapped her chin. "Well, I'm not trying to. It just happens. That doesn't mean I'm not aware of the bad things, I just don't let them drag me down."  
"But how?" I asked again, almost desperately wanting to have an answer now.

She shrugged. "I don't know. It simply happens. Don't be sad. Everyone is different. It's not bad that you're not able to do it. Some people just can't. It doesn't make you weak, Zuko."

I took a deep breath, as she hit a nerve. "You really do know me," I said.

That got her to smile widely. "I'm very glad you admit it. I know, after Mai became friends with Azula, we didn't hang out much, but I always liked you."

"I always liked you, too." Then I frowned. "Wait, yes. We hung out, before Mai and Azula became friends, but why? I mean, what changed? Why didn't we hang out later, too?"  
Ty Lee grinned then, wiggling her eyebrows. "Well, Mai saw you once and completely fell for you. It was uncomfortable for her to be in the same room as you, because she couldn't articulate even one sentence. Azula found it annoying, and so we dissociated ourselves from you…"

Raising my eyebrows, I took a deep breath. I would not go to shout at my sister. Not now, not ever. This was in the past, and I didn't need to let my mood get dropped by this.

So I pressed my lips together, nodded at Ty Lee and stared at the ocean.

"Are you okay?" she asked, sounding cautious.

"Yep, sure. Just trying not to strangle my younger sister. So, you know, the usual."

I could see her smile out of the corner of my eye. "I wish I could be as happy as you always feel. I wish I could just accept everything how it is," I admitted after a while.

Ty Lee twisted her mouth. "I don't think that is possible for you. Your aura is one to change things, not to adapt."

I gave her a flat stare.

"What? I thought you believed in auras?" she said a bit indignantly, her hands on her hips.

I grimaced, as I remembered how I had yelled at Mai that she didn't believe in anything. Maybe Ty Lee had misunderstood my intention. "Well, not really. I was just angry at Mai, and, er…"

Ty Lee sighed. "Well, okay. Do you believe in something?"

I opened my mouth, two answers directly on my tongue. Destiny. Honour. But I found myself unable to say these. If betraying Uncle and defeating the Avatar was my destiny, why did I struggle with the decision so much? Why did it turn everything upside down? Why didn't the Fire Nation palace feel like home at all? Why was home only like a memory to me?

"I don't know," I answered truthfully, my voice sounding desperate. I gave a small, hard laugh off me. "I used to be convinced that I had a destiny. That my honour was everything I needed to make Father proud… But it just doesn't feel like it yet. Maybe it never will…"

She furrowed her brows. "Azula told me the Fire Lord is quite pleased with you."

I took a deep breath. Quite pleased? Yeah, sure. But nothing more. "I meant that my father is proud, but not because I have any honour. He thinks I have it, but I don't feel worthy of it."

"Then what is honour for you?"

I blinked, feeling surprised. No one had actually ever asked me that. "Well… Being truthful, keeping promises, doing the right thing are all part of having honour."

Ty Lee cocked her head to her side. "Then you lied?"

"No."

"Did you break a promise?"

"No. But maybe a dream. Of someone I…" I wanted to use the past tense, I really wanted to. But how could I if it wasn't the truth? "…care for." Uncle had suffered a lot in his life. Living in peace, as normal people had been the only thing he had wished for. One would think it wasn't much, but I had been unable to give it to him.

"And did you do the wrong thing?" Ty Lee pressed on.

"I don't know!" I shouted in a frustrated way, running a hand through my hair. It was getting too long. "That's what I said earlier. I don't know what's right or wrong, and I can't talk to anyone…"  
"You're talking to me," she said quietly.

"But I can't tell you everything. It's…" traitorous, treasonous, "… dangerous."

"Okay." She laid her hand on my shoulder again, but turned me a little to face her. "It's fine if you don't know the answer yet. But you are not one to adapt, Zuko. If you're not okay with your situation, you have to change it. Change your life, until you're completely happy and satisfied. That's the only way for you if you want to feel that happiness."  
I frowned at her words.

"Pooh, that was deep, wasn't it?" Ty Lee laughed. "And I didn't even have anything to drink. No, wait, I had some punch at the party. But that's hours ago, so I must be sober, mustn't I?"  
I blinked at her giddy expression. She was really great at confusing me.

"I guess?"

"Okay, wow, I need some sleep, my talks are getting too deep. I'm gonna head back and cut you some clack. Oh dragons, I just rhymed twice! Wait, er, for breakfast I'll have rice!" Ty Lee whooped once, and then managed to make herself bend over from laughter again.

Girls were crazy. But I had to admit that I might have misjudged Ty Lee. She wasn't only annoying, and I also finally understood why her happiness had been off putting to me. I envied her. I wanted to feel so happy, too. But I didn't even know how and where to start. Ty Lee had smiled and laughed every day, while I had felt like shit in a deep, dark hole every day. I couldn't stand happy people, while I wasn't happy.

This realisation made me cringe a little. Was I an asshole?

Shouldn't I try to feel happy for people who felt happy?

I had to think about the years on my ship, about Uncle. Well, everyone actually. Every bit of good mood had certainly been crushed under my snarls and growls.

Shit, I was an asshole. I had treated Uncle like…

No, Uncle was a traitor. He deserved it. Maybe deep down I had always known he would betray the Fire Nation. He had never been set on my task, but… I couldn't believe all of it.

Maybe if I repeated it enough in my head, I was going to believe it. Although, that also hadn't worked yet with the thought that joining Azula and abandoning Uncle had been the right choice. Maybe I'll never find out what was right. Maybe it was just a choice, and I had to live with it now.

Or I could change my destiny, like Ty Lee had said. But how could destiny be destined, if one could change it?

I was still pondering on my talk with Ty Lee, when I left the ocean and moon to follow the acrobat to Li's and Lo's house. When I opened the door to my room, I was pretty surprised to already find someone lying in my bed.

Frowning, I glanced over to the other bed, in which Azula slept with a little smile on her face.

Ty Lee lay in my bed. Did she mix up our rooms?

She seemed asleep, so I wasn't going to wake her. A grin spread on my face, as I noticed what that meant. I got to spend a night with Mai. Well, in separate beds, but still… It seemed very exciting. After the first night we had spent together in Ba Sing Se, right before we had left, we hadn't had the opportunity again.

So I sneaked over the hallway to slowly and quietly open the door to Mai's and Ty Lee's room. I wished Mai and I were already more progressed in our relationship, so that I could simply slip under the covers with her, but as things were, I didn't dare to. We just had had a huge fight, broke up, and got together again, and that had left me more cautious. Maybe I should still have a long talk with her. I wanted to feel comfortable around her again, and not like I was walking on a mine field, where she would break up with me after me being moody.

But when I opened the door, I was met with the shine of light from an oil lamp. Mai sat upright in her bed, reading a book. She was wearing a deep purple nightgown with a black edge, her hair up in only one knot. Some strands fell down and around her face. I loved it. Her neck was exposed, showing its length and smooth, white skin.

She looked up, when I entered. "What are you doing here?"

"Er…" I quickly stepped in and closed the door to quiet our voices. "Ty Lee somehow landed in my bed, so I thought…"

Mai raised one eyebrow. "Ty Lee is sleeping in your bed? How did this happen?"

My eyes widened. "I have no idea. I was out until now, and she just lay there, when I came back. She's asleep."

"Where were you if you were out?" she asked, slowly letting her book sink onto her lap.

"Well, you know, settling the thing with the painter and… enjoying nature."

"So you…"

"I was sitting on the beach, staring at the ocean, yes." I answered, feeling a little irritated now.

She looked appeased and fine, and I wondered how I had known she had been bothered before. Her expression hadn't changed in the slightest.

"So can I sleep here?" I asked.

She nodded. "Sure."

I was taking a step towards Ty Lee's bed, as Mai scurried off to the side. It looked like she was making room…

I stopped. She stopped.

"Er…" I said.

"You can sleep wherever you want," Mai said, her voice a little higher than usual, before she raised her book so that I couldn't see her face anymore.

I took a deep breath, as my heart started beating faster. "Mai…" I walked over to her and sat down on her bed's edge.

She peaked over her book at me.

"I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable. So if you're not ready, or if you don't want to, I'll sleep in Ty Lee's bed, there's absolutely no…"

I didn't get to finish my sentence, as Mai slammed her book shut, scurried away from me and laid the book on her nightstand. Then she grabbed me by my shirt. "Enough, already! We're not thirteen, and we're only talking about sleeping, so will you lie down?!" She almost hissed the words.

My lips spread in a smile, and I felt a huge wave of affection and also some arousal wash over me. Dragons, how much I liked it when her expression changed.

I let myself be pushed onto the mattress and lay still, as Mai put the blanket over me.

"Good night," she said, before turning off her night lamp.

"Good night," I answered, turning towards her body warmth. I would really like to make out right now. My tiredness was completely gone. Licking my lips, I slowly reached out for her hip.

Mai seemed to take in a sharp breath. "We can cuddle, Zuko, but I'm really beaten. I want to sleep."

Heat crept up my cheeks, as I understood the deeper meaning of her words and tried to act as if I hadn't hoped for making out. "Y-yeah, sure. I'm tired, too." I still moved closer, until we touched almost everywhere. Then I wound an arm around her to pull her closer and hold her close.

She closed more distance between us, and it very much felt like she was snuggling her head into the crook of my arm.

I bent down to kiss her forehead, smiling.

_**Kilara **_

It wasn't a long time, after my sobs had stopped that someone came into the room.

During that time I had tried to figure out how injured I really way, but with bandages all around me, and me not being able to sit up this was close to impossible.

I had kept myself occupied with trying to move parts of my body. Fortunately, apart from the strong binding and the pain I was feeling, there was nothing limiting my movements.

A small man with a grey beard and bushy eyebrows, but a young face came into my room and smiled, when he saw that I was awake.

"Ah, finally you came to." He then turned his head back to the entrance door and shouted "Yan Sun!"

The man walked out of my view for a few seconds, before he came back with a cup of water. "Would you like some water?"

I nodded slowly. He helped me to support my head, as I leaned forward to drink from the cup he was holding to my mouth. Holy moon, the water felt so good in my mouth. My mouth had felt so dry, but now it felt good again. Only when I swallowed, did my throat still hurt. I grimaced and had to swallow again to keep the water down.

A young woman, probably in her twenties, with incredibly high cheekbones and dark hair that fell almost to her knees walked quickly into the room. Her hair was pulled back into a long plait that swished at her side. She wore the same simple, pale green clothes that the man wore, too.

"Our patient finally woke up. We'll run a few tests, and then you can go and tell her brother that she's awake," the old man told her.

I assumed the woman was Yan Sun, as the man had called that name earlier.

Yan Sun nodded sternly, as she came closer to lean over me. I immediately jerked back, and groaned throatily, as my chest hurt at the sudden move.

Yan Sun glanced up into my eyes and frowned. "Doctor Wenjin said we will run a few tests. Don't jerk away."

The doctor stepped closer and laid a hand on Yan Sun's arm. "What was I telling you earlier?"

The woman glanced at him, then looked back at me and smiled. It was definitely not a real smile, and it looked completely weird and creepy.

I grimaced at the woman. What tests were they talking about?

Yan Sun grabbed my right arm and checked my pulse. "Steady, a little too fast, though."  
The doctor nodded, as if he had anticipated this. "Yes, that is to be expected. You're a bit scared, aren't you?"

I nodded, not daring trying to use my voice.

Doctor Wenjin moved around the hospital bed onto my other side. "Miss Huang, do you know why you're here? Do you know what happened to you?"

I nodded. Yeah, I hadn't forgotten. I had been in the house, which had been on fire. And then… There was the explosive coming towards Dad and me. I had raised an ice wall, but it had been too thin, not strong enough.

The doctor sighed. "Alright. You are lucky, for you don't seem to be in shock. Well, it is very important that you listen carefully now. Do not get worked up."

I hated it when people told me not to get worked up, but I nodded. I would remain calm, I was sure of it.

"You were really badly injured, when you arrived here two days ago. You were found in your burning house under a pile of wood, rock, and glass. You have bruises, burns and little cuts almost everywhere on your body." His hands were hidden in his sleeves, as he shortly glanced over to Yan Sun, who had turned away from me, and now seemed to prepare some sort of medicine. She stood in front of a table, working with little tins and several herbs.

"However, you have several larger injuries. The worst one is to your legs."  
I looked down at them, but couldn't make out what was wrong with them. I was pretty sure they weren't broken, but they still hurt a lot, in a different way.

The doctor took a deep breath. "Large parts of your lower thighs were squished, some of your flesh is completely missing to the bone."

My eyes widened in horror. What the tsunami? Did I hear right? Oh moon, please tell me I didn't hear right!

"Your right leg is the worst. You won't be able to walk for some time, but with enough treatment, patience, and physical therapy I'm very sure that you will be able to walk again. However, you probably won't be able to ever move exactly the way you did before." He cleared his throat. "I know this sounds cruel, but I do not want to give you any false hope. At least, we didn't have to amputate your leg."

I nodded. I understood. Still. I couldn't stop the tears welling up in my eyes, again.

"The good news is that all your other injuries aren't as bad. The burns will hurt a lot, but they won't be much of a problem. They will probably scar, but they will heal. The burns to your face were the less severe ones, and we didn't bandage them, so that you are still able to see and talk. They will probably start itching, and I advise you not to give into this. Until now, your skin is still missing in these spots, so you have to be careful," the doctor said with a frown of worry, but smiling reassuringly in a way that turned his eyes into narrow slits.

Almost immediately, did my face start itching.

Yan Sun turned back to me. I looked up at her. "This is against the pain." She held up a little cup. "Then this is for revitalisation. And a cleansing draught to get the toxin out of your system."  
I blinked and raised an eyebrow. Toxin?

"You inhaled a lot of smoke," Yan Sun explained, her voice somehow void of any emotion, and very monotone. The rhythm of her words was all wrong. "You had a smoke intoxication."

I wanted to swallow again out of instinct, but was almost too afraid of the pain.

Doctor Wenjin helped me to sit up again, putting large pillows behind my back so that I could drink the medicine. The skin on my chin pulled uncomfortably, as I pursed my lips to drink. I probably had a burn there. The medicine tasted very earthly, as if they had just put earth and leaves into some water. It also looked that way.

Maybe I pulled a grimace, since Doctor Wenjin chuckled a bit. "I better do not tell you what is in there."

I made a shocked and thankful face at him.

"Now, would you like to see your brother, Miss Huang?" the doctor asked pleasantly, as Yan Sun cleared the table of all sorts of tins and cups and loaded them onto a tray.

I wondered why he hadn't mentioned Dad yet. I tried not to think about it, so I nodded.

Dr. Wenjin walked out of the room, while Yan Sun helped me get the other liquids down my throat. Why did medicine always have to taste so dreadful? The burning of pain in my throat didn't make it easier. I wondered if this was the case why I couldn't speak, or if it hurt because I had attempted to speak earlier.

A few moments later, Nanuk came almost running into the room.

I took a sharp breath of relief, when I saw him.

He was walking on two legs without problems, his arms were swinging along to help him walk faster. He wore normal dark green pants with a lighter green shirt with a brown trim and belt that ended in the middle of his thigh. It was strange to see him wearing so normal, not crumpled things after the fire. Somehow I had thought everything about my family was now burnt or singed. But apart from a slight flush on his cheeks, he looked quite normal. Even his hair looked well combed, the upper half of it in a bun secured by a broad green ring.

"Kira!" he whispered, his voice desperate.

His face, however, bore a look of worry and terror, much alike to how he had looked after we had received notice of Mum's death.

I tried to smile, but it hurt my cheeks too much. It felt like my skin was pulled too much to the sides, and since that area itched, I guessed I was burnt there. Nanuk hurried to my left bedside, since Yan Sun still stood on the other side.

"Holy badgermole, Kira!" Nanuk bent down and stretched his hand out to touch my hair. "I… Did you wake up with the doctor here?"

I shook my head.

"So no one was here?"

I nodded.

Nanuk grimaced and seemed to suppress a curse, as he frowned. "I'm so sorry! I wanted to be here, and I was just out washing myself, and I would have been here if you had waited a little with waking up."

I smiled a little, so as not to hurt myself, and tried to show him that it didn't matter. He was fine. Moon, he was completely healthy! His voice sounded normal and he didn't seem to be injured in any way! Nanuk was fine, and that was the best thing that could have happened to me now! He was the most important person in my life, for sure, and I felt so happy and grateful for him being well that tears started to fall from my eyes.

Nanuk quickly, but carefully wiped them away.

I must have looked like death, or he wouldn't move his arm so carefully as to not touch me anywhere else.

"Does something hurt?" he asked, a slight panic in his voice.

I shook my head again, my smile still there, as I put all my strength into raising my left arm to grasp his hand. My arm was heavy and seemed numb, but it wasn't very injured, apart from the bruises and little cuts.

Nanuk quickly took my hand, still overtly careful. He didn't even squeeze it.

I rolled my eyes and squeezed his instead.

He smiled slightly.

What I wanted to know most was where Dad was and how he was. But I was afraid of trying to speak again. What if it didn't work? I would just worry Nanuk even more. But whenever it would come out, he would always worry.

But while I was still thinking about telling him or how to tell him, he already frowned at me and cocked his head to the side.

"Can't you speak?" the monotone voice of Yan Sun asked, and I quickly glanced at her.

Oh moon, I had already completely forgotten that she was here. I opened my mouth to tell her no, but… I didn't want to try.

"Kira?" Nanuk grabbed my hand tighter.

I swallowed painfully, but wanted to keep my face void of emotions. But all of this was such an emotional situation, and I could not muster the will and strength to pretend to be fine. I could feel my face grimacing at the pain in my throat, which caused my face to hurt, and I could see Nanuk's reaction to it.

Yan Sun stared at me without any judgment or worrying as she put her fingers on my throat.

"Does that hurt?" she asked and pressed lightly on my skin.

It did, shit, it hurt damn much!

I opened my mouth, my brows furrowed, as I glared at her to make it obvious that it hurt!

She drew her hand back, before Nanuk could actually snap at her. She took a deep breath through her teeth so that it made a hissing sound. "This isn't good. I'm going to get the doctor."  
I made a useless attempt at opening my mouth. I couldn't speak, and I also didn't know what to even say.

Nanuk got my attention back to him, as Yan Sun left. "Is it true? You can't speak?"

I grimaced and shook my head, lifting my right arm to point at my throat.

My brother took a deep breath, and as I had anticipated his facial features contorted in pain and guilt. Again I tried to smile for him, as I wondered how I could ask about Dad.

"How did this even happen?" Nanuk wondered with a slight anger in his voice.

Frowning, I pointed at him and raised my shoulders in question.

"Oh, er, well, I got San out of the house. We both inhaled a lot of smoke, but we were rather fine. We stayed in one of those hospital beds for more than a day. San lives now with her parents, and I was allowed to stay here for you and Dad."

I quickly raised my eyebrows.

"Dad… He's still unconscious. He has fewer injuries than you, but one at his spine…"

"_What_?" I mouthed. "_No_!" My face contorted, as I gasped in shock. Before I cried again, I quickly bit down on my lower lip. I didn't need any further explication, since I had once read the whole work of Doctor Saozhe, the most famous healer of the Earth Kingdom, who had done a lot of research and found remedies to a lot of illnesses. I had been around thirteen years old back then, and had often asked Mum, whenever I didn't understand something. Mum didn't gave me detailed explanation of all the strange sounding words, but instead explained whole phenomena to me, which made it easier for me to understand. I had pestered Nanuk a lot with the content of the book, completely fascinated with the content of the human body, so I guessed that Nanuk had also not needed any further explanation.

"Well, it's not clear yet, but yes, he might never walk again. I just hope he'll be able to move his upper body…" he sighed, letting his head fall down a bit. "I'm so glad you finally woke up! The last days were so…" Nanuk quickly pressed his lips together.

The sound of footsteps distracted me from comforting my brother, as I looked to the right to see the doctor and Yan Sun walk in again.

Dr. Wenjin hurried a bit, his small legs moving quickly. "You can't speak?" he asked, as soon as he was on my bedside.

I shook my head.

"This could still be because of all the smoke you had inhaled. You lay in the house, until the fire was extinguished, after all. You are lucky to even be alive. But you had a rather large wound on your throat, too, so maybe that is also the cause. We didn't notice it went so deep."

Frowning, I nodded, before I looked to Nanuk and made a wave motion with my hand, then pointed at my throat.

His eyes widened, and he sat up straight. "Yes! Doctor, my sister is a waterbender, she can heal herself. She just needs water!"

The doctor touched his chin in musing, and nodded. "I guess a large bath would be the best way. Water healing might do wonders for all of your body. And perhaps, later you can use it on your father. We don't know a lot about waterhealing, unfortunately, but I read some miraculous things about it. Maybe it will work."

I nodded quickly.

"Yan Sun. Get a bath ready for the lady. Pure water or with soap?" Dr. Wenjin asked me.

I shook my head.

"Pure water?"

I nodded. Although soap would be wonderful to feel right now, soap wouldn't help with the healing. Besides, it would only burn in my wounds, if they weren't already closed, which I doubted. I mean, apparently, a whole bunch of flesh was missing in my lower thigh.

I tried not to think about how it would look like. Or how it would look like once it had healed. Would the muscle tissue be built back? Would I have one normal leg and one a thin as an antelope flamingo's? I didn't want to think the word, but I couldn't help it. Would I be a cripple forever?

My waterbending, my fighting would suffer. I wouldn't be as good anymore as I was. I would be too weak, easily defeated, a shame for my mother.

Closing my eyes, I tried to convince myself that it didn't matter. Mum died because of fire. I survived it. I fucking survived a house fire! I survived!

I took a deep, shaky breath, reaching out with my senses, to feel, to know and to appreciate the fact I was still alive. According to Dr. Wenjin I had lied in the house, until the fire was extinguished, so it had had to take quite a long time to get me out of there. And I was still alive.

Smiling again, I squeezed Nanuk's hand, simply feeling thankful.

_**Zuko**_

"We should talk," Mai said behind me.

I quickly stood up from my seat on the grass in front of the turtle duck pond.

We had been back from Ember Island for three days now, and it all had quieted down a bit. Mai, Azula, Ty Lee, and I were all back to normal, but still different.

It felt like Mai and I were happier together, when before I had been happier without her. The way she had never responded to me the way I had wanted her to, had simply made me angry, but now it didn't anymore. I forced myself to be more patient with her, finally understanding why she wanted to suppress her feelings all the time. And sometimes she didn't even do it anymore. Our last day on Ember Island had been similar to the first, but way better.

Instead of gifting Mai things at the beach, I had simply spent my time with my lips stuck to hers. Originally, I had hoped to spend the day with Mai alone, but Azula had decided for all of us to head back to the beach. She said she didn't want to conquer the place and then quietly disappear again. No, we had to reappear there to make it clear to the people that we had meant everything yesterday. The children had all run away from their sandcastles or the place they had been playing ball to make room for Azula. The guys playing volleyball had seen us and scurried off, clearly not wanting a rematch, and Chan and Ruon Jian hadn't even been there, instead a lot of other guys from the party yesterday. They all made room for us, tried to get as much distance between us and them, glancing at us and whispering, but whenever one of us looked in their direction, they quickly looked away and tensed all over. Several guys seemed to have considered approaching Ty Lee, but Azula had given them a death glare, and they had all backed away rather quickly. Ty Lee didn't seem to have bothered, as she had smiled at Azula every time. Ty Lee had spent her time entertaining and distracting Azula, actually getting her to try to make a handstand. It was interesting to see how Azula let her walls down around someone so apparently open as Ty Lee.

After some kissing, Mai pulled away and said she was going to close her eyes for a minute. Lying down, she actually dosed off, and although I wanted to keep sitting there and look at her, I guessed she would found it creepy. So I actually went swimming to cool down a little from all the hot sun burning on my skin. After some special Ember Island sushi for lunch (with peppers, tomatoes, celery, and olives, very different from the flavours of the capital, but I liked it) we headed back to Lo's and Li's house to start packing for our trip back home.

Today, I had spent some time looking up statistics of crime, and had thought about a way to look into the financials of the state, without disrespecting Father. I didn't even think that he would care about a few servants having trouble to get by from the low salary. But where did that money come from? And what happened with the taxes? Was that all pushed into the war, into making weapons and transport machines?

I had done something rather untypical for myself today, as I had started to write everything down that I learned. But I simply had to, as the chaos in my head was growing and getting too much. Writing things down helped with the mind, although I still preferred physical exercise to get a calm mind.

Most of all, the research had helped me to get the more pressing question about how my great-grandfather had died out of my head. I had received the scroll which told me that I could find out my own destiny last night, and it had annoyed me all day. After Azula's helpful mocking in front of Sozin's portrait in the royal gallery, I had tried to forget it. It didn't seem to make sense to me. Sozin had lived long and happy. But he had started the war. The only thing I could learn from it was that starting wars meant a long and peaceful life. This was so contradictory, and I refused to believe it. If this was the meaning of the scroll, however, I was pretty sure Azula had given it to me. She was the only one who knew I... still wasn't strong enough for this environment. Reassuring me that this way was going to make me happy seemed necessary to me. It's what I was doing all the time.

"Uh, sure. What do you want to talk about?" I asked to answer Mai, dusting off my robes and stepping closer to her.

Her expression softened, when I slung my arms around her waist and kissed her lightly to greet her.

She laid her hands on my chest and took a step back, looking slightly nervous as she looked past my shoulder.

"What is this about?" I asked curiously. She behaved very bizarrely.

"Well, I was thinking…" she said, trailing off. "Maybe we should sit down." She gestured to a bench on the side of the garden, close to the archway.

We sat down there, and I turned towards her, curious, but also a little concerned. Uncle had once told me that "We should talk" or "We have to talk" coming from a girl normally meant something rather negative. I tried to think about things I could have done wrong, or things I shouldn't have done, or things I should have done, or any reason for Mai wanting to have a serious talk with me.

"You have a temper, Zuko," she said matter-of-factly.

It didn't sound judging, so I simply nodded.

"And this won't change. You always got angry quickly when we were children, too. It doesn't matter if you feel good or not, it is just how you are. But I am not someone who can match this."  
I quickly took her hand. "Mai, for what happened at that party… Honestly, I had a reason to flip out like that. I… I know I'm quick tempered, but I'm working on it."

The corners of her lips quirked a little. "I don't want you to. I like you just like you are, but I guess I forgot about your temper, since you didn't got that angry before in our relationship."

She sighed. "And I also don't know if I can be more open, Zuko. I know you liked it when I exploded at Azula, but this isn't likely to happen again. And definitely not to her."

"Then explode at me. I don't mind," I said, feeling my eyes widen, as I wondered if she was really going to break up with me.

"I don't think I can do that, either. What I said at the beach is true. I am like this out of fear. But it feels like this is really me now. It's difficult to be more, and I don't know if I ever can. So I just wanted to warn you," she said almost sadly. Her voice was stricken with a little bit of emotion.

"Warn me?"

She nodded. "I might stay the big, boring blah. And you won't like it."

Swallowing, I shook my head. Shit, I had really called her that, hadn't I? "You're not a big blah. You're… like an iceberg."

She frowned a little at me, and I understood that she had no idea how icebergs were. Other than cold of course.

Did _I_ even remember it right? "Well, you see, what's visible on the surface is only the smallest part of the iceberg, but deep down under the surface there is so much more than the eye can see. It's nine times more ice," I explained. I would learn to dive in ice cold water, if it meant to get to see the rest of Mai, too.

"Zuko," she said in a stern voice, as if I had forgot what we had been talking about. "Do you get what I'm saying? I'm giving you an out."

I frowned deeply at her. What? The? Magma?

"I don't think you'll be completely happy with me." She squeezed my hand, still looking me in the eye. Her amber eyes seemed more alive than usual.

This was completely crazy. Of course I would be. It was with her that I had been the happiest in a long time now. Since leaving Uncle in Ba Sing Se I had felt bad, losing Kilara had thrown me completely off balance, but having Mai was the only reason for me to smile, the only reason for me to look forward to the day. I still didn't have any duties, and although I cared for my people, without any assigned power by the Fire Lord, there was almost nothing I could do.

"You're crazy," I told Mai. "You make me happy."

"You're completely miserable, Zuko, everyone can see that. I don't think I make you happy enough. There are many things I hate, I barely show emotions, and I would probably never tell you again how I really feel."

"Do you want to break up? If you want to leave me…" I started, anger hearable in my voice.

She sighed. "No. I don't."

I clenched my jaw, as I looked over her face. She seemed sad, desperate and a little hopeful. "Then stop it. Please. I don't want to hear anything like that ever again," I tried to say it softly, but I noticed that I still sounded a little angry, which I didn't want to feel. I skidded closer to her on the bench, laying my hands on her hips to pull her tighter towards me. "You make me happy, Mai. You make me laugh. And I feel less miserable with you," I whispered into her ear, before kissing her throat.

The urge to show her exactly how happy she made me grew, as I was already thinking about getting her into my room.

"Okay," she murmured. "But I warned you."

I sighed, putting her hair behind her shoulder. "Sure. Now, how about we go to my room for some privacy?" I asked. I would totally kiss Mai here, I didn't mind that at all. But I don't think undressing ourselves in the royal garden would have been well seen.

Mai's response was a kiss to my cheek, as she stood and pulled me up with her. Smiling at her, I wrapped an arm around her waist to keep her close.

I didn't want her to think about such things. It meant she doubted me, us. I couldn't have that; she was all that gave me some sort of stability in my life. I thought if I hadn't had her, I might as well lose all hope of ever being happy. But Mai gave me hope. She gave me hope that I would manage my life here in the Fire Nation, because I could see her in my future. I hoped that I would be made Crown Prince again. I hoped that I would one day become Fire Lord and keep my promise to Kilara, lessening the cruelty of the war and the occupation, and I would be with Mai all this time. The only person who was concerned enough about me to inflict heartbreak to herself to make me happier. Although her understanding of my happiness was obviously completely wrong.

We went back into the palace and headed for the lift to Azula's and my storey. All the while I didn't let go of Mai and kept her close. I couldn't stand the thought of losing her. My hands roamed up and down her body, and I really couldn't wait to get her into my bed. Of course, we haven't done _that_ yet, since we were only together for almost four weeks. I thought we should be together for longer, before doing or thinking about that. But of course, I had thought about it! How could I not? Even though I had never had any male friends my own age, I knew how obsessed some guys were with that. And of course, I was curious. While everything I knew about it came from Uncle or the members of my old crew, there seemed to be very contradicting things about it. Uncle liked to talk about the unique beauty of a woman, and how cherished all women had to feel, while doing the act. My crew hadn't talked like that. They had used very vulgar words concerning women and doing the act.

And I had never felt comfortable with both versions of it.

I really had no intention to compare women to flowers and showing my deep devotion, nor talking about women in a less than disrespecting way for wanting to have one.

The Fire Nation was a much progressed country, especially on gender ideology. Women weren't expected to stay at home and care for the children. Of course, we needed women for soldiers, as our population wasn't large enough to only feed the army with men. And even though women were respected in the part of their fighting ability and intellect, and no one would ever say these things my crewmen had said about women to their face, men still liked to talk in disrespecting ways about them, if they were just among men. That totally eluded my comprehension.

So, while I was curious about the act and often caught myself in a state in which my body wanted to do it with Mai, my mind still wasn't on track with it. It kept remembering all the awful things my crewmen had said and all the fluffy, romantic things Uncle had told me.

I never understood why Uncle felt the urge to show his devotion to every woman, even though he didn't love her. In my understanding of relationships, it acquired love to do what Uncle had done to women.

I guess a middle way would be the only way for me to feel comfortable with that.

On the other hand, if I felt like I needed love to do what Uncle did, then maybe I wasn't ready for this with Mai. I liked her, and I desired her. I didn't want her to look at any other boys, and I sure as hell wasn't interested in any other girls. I liked spending time with Mai, and I could picture a future with her in my life. But love? It was a strange concept, giving up everything for a person and making one so completely and utterly vulnerable. I didn't know if I was ready for this with my history of being betrayed. In my experience, love hurt.

Either way, I was still desperate to get Mai into my bed for a good round of snogging. After what she'd said to me, I just felt like I needed it. I needed to show her that I wouldn't let her go.

Once out of the lift, the view of the wealthier side of the capital greeted us.

Directly opposite the lift were large windows with flowing red curtains lining along the whole corridor. Sunlight shone in, making the deep red of the walls appear a bit lighter, and the blue of the sky added a tint of beauty to the surroundings. At night, the corridor was just dark and creepy. I had never liked it. But during the day, the colours reminded me more of corals underwater, or fire lilies blooming on a cliff with the ocean and sky behind.

This corridor's windows opened to the eastern side of the capital, where the more important citizens lived, and the most expensive shops were located.

It was a beautiful sight from up above, overlooking the caldera's walls and seeing the ocean behind. Having one's quarters ten storeys above ground level surely had its perks.

But I wasn't going to admire the view now. No, I basically dragged Mai to my room, who was by no means reluctant, but didn't see any need in hurrying.

"Slow down, Zuko. You're going to make me stumble over my pants," she said, annoyance and amusement barely noticeable in her voice.

I stopped, turned around and took her picture in. Yeah, her pants were flowy and very long. She always wore long things.

"You could wear something shorter, you know," I suggested.

She glared at me. "I'm not going to change my style, so that you can get me faster into your bedroom!"  
A loud, malicious cackle came from behind her, and I saw Azula standing in the middle of the hallway. She stood in front of the lift, obviously wanting to leave, but now she was pressing her hand to her stomach, leaning forward, her face contorted in joy, or schadenfreude.

I scowled at her, then at Mai, who pressed her lips together, even looking apologetically.

"But you could carry me," she said then, an almost sheepish smile on her face.

I could have kissed her. Which I did. Short, but strong, as I put my arms under her back and knees. Although Mai was just as tall as I was, she wasn't that heavy. Must be the lack of muscles and fat.

She laid her arms around my shoulders, leaned forward and gave me a passionate kiss. I almost dropped her from surprise, but returned the kiss with equal fervour. Her tongue sneaked into my mouth, and I gladly opened it for her to kiss her thoroughly. I couldn't stop the groan escaping my throat, as one of her hands pressed against my neck to get me closer to her.

We kept kissing like that in the hallway, until I heard a fake gag from my sister and the opening of the lift door.

Grinning against Mai's mouth, I turned around to walk to my room. I only had to let of go of her to open the door, then I stepped through it, closed the door with my foot, and headed for my bed in the centre of the room.

All my curtains were drawn open, so the sunlight shone into the room, lighting all the dark wood, grey metal and red colour which made my room. I had to think about what Mai had said she thought of the Fire Palace, that it made her feel as if she were in a womb.

I felt more like inside a volcano, since the grey metal let me think of hardened lava.

When I let Mai down on my bed, I pulled away from our kiss and supported myself on my elbows, to get more distance between us. I wanted to look at her, and with my face too close to hers, it looked like she had three eyes.

"Ow," she said. "You're pulling at my hair."

I quickly looked down, seeing my elbow firmly planted on one of her plaits.

"Sorry," I murmured, and lifted my elbow to place her braid above her head.

"Put that collar and shoulder things away. It's so uncomfortable," she ordered.

I quickly sat up on my knees, so not to straddle her hips, and took the stiff fabric, streaked with metal, off. When I had complained about these things as a child, my mother had told me it was necessary for protection. So that no one could cut my throat and reach my heart, since a lot of people would be envious at a member of the royal family.

Now, I just threw it to the ground and opened the long, sleeveless cardigan Mai always wore. Without the fastening button and metal streaked into the fabric covering her shoulders, everything about her body seemed softer, as only normal fabric was left. Her gloved hands came up to caress my cheeks, and I was glad that at least her fingertips weren't covered by fabric.

I smiled at her, as I turned my head to kiss the inside of her hand. She pulled my face down to hers, but instead of kissing her, I almost let all of my weight touch her, as I kissed her under her ear. "You make me happy, Mai," I whispered. "Don't forget that."

She wove her hands through my hair, loosening my top knot, and pulled me away from her throat, only to pull my mouth against hers again. Supporting myself on my elbows once more, I happily answered her kiss.

_**Kilara**_

Water had done a great deal for me. As soon as I had been in the bathtub, it had started glowing, my body healing almost automatically. All my bandages were still tightly wrapped around my body, but Yan Sun had helped me to take the hospital gown off. Unfortunately, I had been unconscious for two days, so the healing couldn't help as much as it could have directly after the fire.

I had never needed to heal myself like that before. Normally, I put a hand engulfed with water on an injury, but completely immerging myself in water?

My brows contorted as I concentrated on all the small cuts, burns and bruises. Those on my face, my arms, my chest and thighs healed nicely. There were light lines left, white patches of new skin where the burns had been, but I was sure that with time no one would be able to see those scars anymore. My skinned elbows and knees also healed within a few seconds.

But the large burn on my chest down to my navel was complicated. I felt how there was no skin at all, and rebuilding all layers of the skin took much energy, and I simply couldn't give all that energy now. I was still exhausted.

I didn't even get to try to heal my legs, before I fell asleep.

Yan Sun picked me up soon enough, so that I didn't drown.

Dr. Wenjin forbade me from healing Dad, if it took so much energy from me. Nanuk agreed with him, when I got angry. I understood his reasoning, and that the risks were still too high, but I wouldn't mind being unconscious for several days, if it just meant that Dad could at least use his upper body again. So we worked out an agreement. After three days of waterhealing, medicine, pastes and changed bandages, I would be allowed to heal Dad.

During these days, I managed to avoid mirrors, being sure I still looked like the death or a scarecrow. I found out after waking up from my first bath that the burn on my forehead had burnt half an eyebrow and my upper hairline. My normal hair started now way further back than it should have, and all of it at the front was terribly crisped and singed. It was all around my face, not only on top of my head. It probably looked completely stupid. I asked Yan Sun on the day after my first healing if she could cut the rest of my hair. I didn't want to lose all of it, but there was already so much burnt or gone, and I didn't want to look like a scarecrow. After my burn would be completely healed, along with my hair roots, I would let all grow back, but for now I wanted most of it gone. I wanted evenness. Nevertheless, I still shed a lot of tears, when Yan Sun cut my pale brown, reddish hair. I saw the strands falling to the ground, and was overcome with memories of my mother combing and braiding it. On the other hand, I remembered how the other children on Kyoshi and in Makapu Village had teased Nanuk and me for our light hair colour. All other children had had dark brown or black hair, and even Suki's hair had been dark enough. Nanuk and I had been called names, because of it. They had called us fox heads, even though our hair was much browner than the fur of any kind of fox, antelope foxes, rabbit foxes, and especially fire ferret foxes.

Nanuk didn't hide the shock on his face, when he saw me. The last time I had had so little hair was as a baby. My brother cried a little, but still stroked my scalp and said I looked like him on his toddler paintings. I smiled in return. My throat had still not healed enough, so I only smiled in response.

Then, the day on which I would heal Dad finally came. The healers had managed to roll him onto his side, hoping that it wouldn't damage his back further. I was seated in a wheelchair, which had been the only way for me to get around these last days. Nanuk had even been allowed to go outside with me for a little bit, which I had very much enjoyed. Fresh air really is something, although feeling it on my scalp was still completely new and weird.

Now, I needed to concentrate. I needed to put all of me into this. And I would.

I laid my hand, covered with water, on Dad's spine, where the doctors had pointed the injury out. The area had coloured in a dark violet, but it wasn't the only injury to Dad's spine. I could feel another one, deeper.

Closing my eyes, I began with the injury closer to his neck. The bone was broken. I knew how to fix that. But the problem with bones was that they took a while with waterhealing. So I concentrated first on the bone marrow, which had extravasated slowly. I got it back in, and then I worked on closing the first layer of the bone around it. It was exhausting. It felt like I was coaxing the bone, like I had to talk nicely to it. I couldn't just make it do anything, I could only try to convince it. It was a weird feeling. I hated healing bones.

After the first layer was sealed, I allowed myself to take a break, to withdraw my hand and take a deep breath. I was panting, sweating actually, as I emerged from Dad's spine.

"I think this is enough for now," Dr. Wenjin said.

"_The marrow isn't extravasating anymore. The bone is not yet healed completely, but a little_," wrote I on a piece of parchment.

The doctor nodded. "Alright. This is truly marvellous."

The other healers all nodded, while three gently laid Dad back on his back, as Nanuk pulled my wheelchair back to give them more space.

"Back in bed then, Miss Huang," Dr. Wenjin said and I nodded.

Nanuk pushed my wheelchair back to a more private room that I had been sleeping in for two days now. Nanuk spent his nights on the couch of San's parents, as they had been kind enough to let him sleep there. I guess, they were also thankful, after all, Nanuk had saved her from the fire. Peizhi had invited Nanuk to him, too, but Peizhi's was two hours of walking away, and Nanuk had preferred to stay close so that he could visit me in the morning and leave in the evening.

Before we were back in my room, however, I was already asleep.

* * *

_Okay, I feel like I've got a few things to clarify here. If anyone didn't read the author's note at the beginning (I know I skip them often, because I can't wait to get to the chapter) then please do, if you want to know why Chan's house was burning. _

_**House Fire and Injuries: **I never woke up in a hospital, and I don't know any doctors, so the whole "doctor-comes-to-Kira" happened probably in a very improbable way. I was thinking about letting Dr. Wenjin checking Kira's vitals, and if her pupils would react to light, but I just don't think that Earth Kingdom doctors, even in Ba Sing Se, can do a lot more than mix up some medicine and bandage a patient. I figures they would know the most basic things, but obviously they can't so much. There are X-ray apparatus, nor any scanning thing which would be able to really give the healers a good look on the injuries, so of course, not everything can or will be able to heal. _

_So from the last chapter (Chapter Twenty) we know that an explosive exploded right in front of Kira. She described all the heat she felt in her face, so I thought it was logical if she'd had burns in her face and around her face, thus the burnt hair. I would have worsened the burns in her face, but Zuko has already got his distinguishing mark, so I didn't want to have another character with a major burn in her face. To find out where Kira would have her burn was pretty tricky. Because of Zuko, I didn't want Kira to have it in her face or on her abdomen. Because of Aang, I didn't want it to be on her back. Because of Katara, I didn't want them to be on her hands, although the idea really intrigued me. And because of Song, I didn't want Kira to have burns on her leg. So instead, the explosive singed a little of Kira's facial skin and a lot of her hair. Her ice wall fell apart, but it was all too fast for the ice to melt, so some of it even cut through her facial skin and arms. Then Kira flew across the room, losing consciousness. And the fire kept burning, until a burning ceiling beam fell downon Kira, causing the major burn on her chest, and the glass lamp on the ceiling landed in her calf, cutting through her flesh. All the other small injuries just happened while wood, rock, and fire were falling around her.  
_

_I really wanted Kira's major injury to be on her legs, but it couldn't be a burn, because then it would be too much like Song's scar. And I guess the injury which Kira has now is even worse for her. Not being able to walk properly again, not being able to fight right, and this in the time of the rebellion! Moreover, Kira is fifteen. She is still unsure about her looks, and of course wants to look good like every teenager does. This will shock her whole self-confidence, but also be a source for learning more. Kira has always been cute and pretty, and especially adults have always doted on her, while peers had been jealous. And this is over. She's not cute anymore, she can't find herself pretty anymore, and I want her to truly understand that it's the inside that counts. If nothing disfiguring has ever happened to one, it's easy to say such things. I actually feel a little guilty because of that. Kira doesn't deserve this, but then again, when had Zuko ever deserved Ozai? _

_I actuall guess this is even harder for Nanuk, who blames himself for not staying with Kira in the house, when she told him to go and find San. He made it out, barely hurt, when his sister can't walk nor speak, and his father is still in a coma. To be the one waiting, to be the one seeing the loved ones suffering, to watch their difficult way to healing, hurts in a different way, on an emotional level. Nanuk feels guilty, helpless, and only wants to trade places with Kira or their father Longwei. The injustice of the world becomes once more clearer to him, and his hatred for the Fire Nation burns even more now. _

_**Mai and Zuko: **So I thought that Zuko and Mai getting back together at the beach wasn't enough. I actually wanted to write about Mai's insecurity right at the beginning of this chapter after the party, but then Ty Lee showed up, because I wanted Zuko to apologise to her. And I felt like the talk they had was necessary. I wanted Ty Lee to show that she truly knows him, and I also wanted the idea about shaping your own destiny planted into Zuko's head. He's still trying to deny everything Iroh has ever told him, but Ty Lee pretends not to understand the deeper meaning of his trouble. So I thought it would be easier for him to listen to her. So three days later, Mai finally gathers the courage to tell Zuko about what has been in her head. It's so obvious that Mai and Zuko have personnality traits they both hate on each other. And I guess while Zuko would be simply happy to be again with Mai and ignore reason, Mai would actually think about what all this means. I wanted them to have a talk about it, but those two just don't have talks, so I went along with Mai's insecurities. She'd rather lose Zuko now than later, since she's convinced that it will hurt even more later. And of course it will when he'll leave the capital. Zuko acts very selfish in here, but to him it still seems like staying at the palace is the only option he has, so he believes being with Mai is right, and he doesn't think he would leave her. I know this shows Zuko is kind of a hypocrite, but the thing is that Mai is right. She doesn't make him happy enough, but he doesn't know that yet. This is not the life he really wants, and he won't be able to accept it. But right now, he still tries to convince himself of this, and tries not to think about everything that's hurting him. He's still in denial, and it will still take a while (two weeks) for Zuko to truly realise what he wants for his life. _

_And I also wanted some Maiko moment, since I wanted to practise writing it. They'll stay together for a year after the war, so I thought I would need the practice, as I will need to write about them. And Zuko is a teenager, and has a girlfriend, so I wanted to write something about teenage relationships, too. Something a little awkward, where both are trying to find out how this whole adult love and relationship thing works. Unfortunately, I already wrote about them making out and implied it before, so they already know this, and it is not awkward... Still, I think it was a lighter moment in their relationship. Something more relatable and nice than wanting fruit tarts with rose petals and telling each other that they don't hate each other. Wow, those scenes were so sweet and so romantic. What a nice couple. Those scenes were actually one reason for me not to want them to stay together. In my opinion, Maiko should definitely not be endgame, but since I'm writing this from Zuko's perspective, and I don't want him to be an asshole who is just using Mai, I have to write about them as a couple, about couple moments in a sweet way. I hope I managed to do this, and that Mai in the end wasn't too much off canon. I just thought she would put in more effort from now on. In the next episode that shows her and Zuko, she is smiling at him, concerned for his wellbeing, and happy for him. She shows all these emotions, so I just thought she opened up again. Probably reassured through Zuko's insistence that she's making him happy. Well, in here, at least. No idea what Bryke thought they'd do after their fight. _

_About the Fire Nation palace, I really had some trouble describing it in my writing. From the outside it looks like this massive metal building with little sunlight, looking completely menacing, and it is located in the middle of the caldera, in the middle of a completely empty, boring ring formed square, which is huge in comparion to the palace. But where are those gardens Zuko likes to brood in? And what are these large houses you can see when Zuko dresses for his coronation? When I look at the caldera from above, these things don't make any sense! But maybe Zuko wasn't even getting dressed in the palace and maybe the coronation place is somewhere else in the caldera. This would make more sense. But the gardens, still. Where are they? The Fire Nation Palace doesn't make any sense to me, and when I was looking at it closer today in the episode Nightmares and Daydreams, it looked like the palace had been built on a huge patch of hardened lava. And this hardened lava was still around the palace. No one had thought about planting something there to make this place actually look pretty! Hardened lava is fertile soil, why not planting something? Why leaving it grey and naked and ugly? Honestly, if I had to walk down that road between the gates and the palace, where everything around you is hardened lava, the black and red monstrum of a palace in front of you, and only the metal walls around, so you cannot see the horizon? With the sky being yellow or red, I would surely think I was in hell! I will definitely have Zuko redecorating this in my fic, once he'll be Fire Lord. If you grow up in such a hell-like place, then it's hardly surprising all these kids turn out to be psycho- or sociopaths! _

_Yeah, I had to vent this a bit... It's just so sad. The Fire Nation palace could be this wonderful, tropical palace with masses of sunlight! But no, we got hell. In this fic, Zuko will not raise any kids in hell! I want him to raise his kids in the tropical palace with sunlight and plants and huge butterflies! _

**_Answers to reviews: _**

_To _uchihaNaruto247_: I was thinking about letting Nanuk, San, or Longwei die, but I thought it would be too much for Kira. I don't want to traumatise her completely. I don't want her to become depressed, and as I still have a plan for her, which won't make her happy, I thought killing someone close to her was too much. And simply killing San wouldn't mean enough, so they all survived. Yes, Zuko will leave the Fire Nation and join Team Avatar, as this fic follows canon completely. So that unfortunately means no interaction between Kira and the gaang before the end of the series. After the end of the war, I will make them interact again, of course, as Kira already knows Suki and Toph. But this fic isn't contradicting anything from canon, as I want to imagine it really happening at the same time behind the scenes, while watching the show. I will definitely add new things in between, so as to not simply retell the Avatar story, but I won't change anything in canon. I would have wanted Zuko and Katara to be together, but they aren't, and Zuko has a daughter, and no one knows who her mother is. This fic is simply my way of giving myself a satisfactory explanation to it, since I don't want it to be Mai. I don't think Zuko and her would be happy with each other for all their life, and I think Zuko deserves more happiness.  
_


	22. Chapter 22

_Hi everyone! _

_Okay, I have to **warn** **you** about a few things in the next chapter. At the end, there will be hints at violence. Nothing will be described, though. _

_Also, this is a relatively long chapter. I mean, all of them are long, but this is one of the longest, I think. It is probably also one of my worst written chapters, as I pressed one and a half week of story time into 21 pages. I just really, really wanted to get this over with. I could have written more detailed chapters about the following, but then it would have probably been three chapters, and I am just not patient enough for this. I think I have stalled the main plot for too long, anyway. _

_But the long chapter is totally worth it! There are major plot twists, and really important things happening. _

_So, with that said, here is chapter twenty-two, please enjoy, and please review!:)_

_I do not own Avatar The Last Airbender, nor its characters. The only characters I own are my OCs. _

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

**Healing and Fighting**

_**Kilara**_

The sun shone hot on my skin, which was a very uncomfortable feeling. It wasn't good for my wounds, almost only scars now, to be in the open sunlight, so I was wearing a hat with a large trim to protect my face.

I had healed Dad this morning again, but it was an excruciatingly long process. I had slept after, and now I was outside in the hospital garden with Nanuk. I was in my wheelchair again, my legs…

I'd rather not think of it, but it was painfully obvious to me that I wouldn't be able to walk without help for quite some time. Tomorrow I would learn how to walk with crutches, and maybe I would finally get rid of the wheelchair like this.

There were a few other people in the gardens, too, mostly people with illnesses or old people, but none with injuries.

I was considering keeping wearing hats. At least, this way no one would see my horrible hair before it would grow out again. I didn't have womanly curves yet, my breasts were still small, and with the short hair I looked like a boy.

"Doctor Wenjin said you could have visitors from today on, so I, as the good brother I am, of course went to your best friend to tell him to come here," Nanuk piped, seemingly in a good mood.

My eyes widened, but I didn't know if I should feel happy or afraid. I didn't want Denzai to see me like this, but on the other hand I really much wanted to talk to him.

Either way, it was too late to object, since I already saw him walking towards us.

He almost disappeared behind a giant basket and flower bouquet. I could only see his green eyes peering over the flowers and his wild, black hair, unruly and sticking in every direction as ever.

In this moment I didn't have the urge to hide my new, hideous self. I smiled.

"Kira!" Denzai cried out, as he handed the basket to Nanuk and showed me the huge flower bouquet. Tulips and lilies in many different colours, some even with two colours per petal. It was beautiful.

My smile widened, as I leaned forward to smell them. I looked up at him and smiled with my teeth to show him how much I liked the flowers. Carefully, I took them from him and peered into the basket in Nanuk's arms, who was already looking through the content.

"There are clothes inside. My mum bought some with Huiqing, since you probably lost all of yours in the fire. There are also shoes, towels, and some beauty products," Denzai explained, fidgeting with his hands. "I told them you probably wouldn't want them but a normal gift basket, you know, with food, but they said you were getting food at the hospital, but these are things you really need," he said apologetically.

Although I was a little disappointed at not being gifted food, since the hospital food was dreadful, I still smiled brightly at him, before I pressed my lips together and shrugged.

"She says it's okay," Nanuk translated.

Denzai then grinned and produced a small, wrapped up bundle from his bag. "Yeah, but I still annoyed Mum enough to make you some steamed pastries and rice pastries!" He held the bundle out to me, and I could already smell the flavour, as my mouth began to water.

I looked up at him again, seeing he had got more freckles since the last time I saw him. My smile became a grin, as I thought that I knew there was a reason why I liked him.

To his credit, he hadn't stared at any of my scars for long.

The burns in my face were still light patches in a rosy colour like strawberry milk, which made me feel like a hippo cow, and the burn from my throat to my chin… Well, healing it had been difficult. The new skin wasn't the soft, rosy, or white that had developed on the other burns. While I had healed it, I had felt some resistance, as if it hadn't wanted to be healed. Maybe I had pushed too much. I should have been more patient. Also waterhealing couldn't perform miracles. However, now it looked padded in a dark rosy, almost pink colour, with a bigger bulge at the place where my skin had been pierced. Doctor Wenjin thought it might be the reason why I couldn't speak. As I had healed it, I had realised he was right. I had hoped it would just be from shock, or the smoke, but until the inner of my throat wasn't completely healed, I wouldn't be able to speak again. I unfortunately had no idea what exactly was broken. I could feel it, but I had no idea what it was. I couldn't remember everything from the anatomy books I had read, but I guessed it were my vocal folds which were affected.

When I had first felt how deep the injury went, I was just glad that it hadn't met my carotid artery, or I would have bled to death.

Mum hadn't exactly taught me how to heal vocal folds, so I was basically experimenting with ways of healing on my own ones.

I remembered seeing the explosive exploding in my face, but I haven't yet asked who attacked out house and why. I was a bit afraid to learn, actually. Nanuk never mentioned it being incendiary, but it was obvious to me. Since it was probably from the Fire Nation, I wondered if it had to do with our plan to rebel, but Nanuk told me the rebellion was still going on, and none of the others had been attacked.

That made the reason for our house fire all the more ominous. A cold shudder always ran down my spine, when I thought about it.

"We can have this as lunch," Nanuk mused, and I quickly nodded.

I pointed at the grass, I wanted us to sit down and have some sort of picnic.

Swallowing still hurt a little, but it had become better. The pastries were pure heaven. The best thing I had eaten since waking up here. Denzai's mum could cook!

"So, when will you get out?" Denzai asked, as he finished his part of the food.

I shrugged.

"I guess she could be already released, as none of her injuries really still demands the surveillance of a doctor. Waterhealing is the only thing that can help her now, but I think they want to keep observing her. The doctor seemed pretty keen on learning more about waterhealing." Nanuk sighed. "And I don't think San's parents have enough room for Kira, too. So it's good she's staying here a little longer."

Denzai raised his eyebrows. "I'm pretty sure we can find someone who will take Kira in. I mean, I begged my parents already, and they said they would if there was absolutely no alternative, but we're four children, and my older siblings visit quite often, except for Ruzai, although he'll visit this weekend, because I asked him to." His voice became quieter, until he just whispered. "He's the Dai Li agent, you know." Then he straightened again and kept talking in a normal voice. "So Mum said it would be a bit much, and she doesn't trust Xiaobo and Jaoru to behave, if Kira will be there."

I tried to reassure him with a smile.

It would be okay. It had to. I didn't want to think about what could happen to Nanuk and me. Orphans, without a home.

No, definitely not. Dad would survive, and we would all live together again.

"Tonight is another meeting at the Armadillo Lion, and I'll ask some of them if they have any space for you, Kira," Denzai went on. "By the way, we discovered something totally awesome that will help us defeat the Fire Nation. I wrote it all in a letter so that no one can listen in, when I'm telling you."

He handed a letter to me, Nanuk leaning over my shoulder to be able to read it, too.

_Colonel Aijian told us about a plan that had been set up to defeat the Fire Nation before they had conquered Ba Sing Se. The council of five had planned to invade the Fire Nation with the Avatar's help on a very special day. Next week, on Sunday, there will be a solar eclipse. It will last approximately nine minutes, and during this time the firebenders won't be able to firebend. Our plan is to concentrate on the Dai Li first, and then use the eclipse to make quick work of the firebenders. The Dai Li shrunk in numbers, as Tao Zhu found out, because Princess Azula took some with her to the Fire Nation. We will attack the walls first, then our troupes from inside will attack the palace, stretching the fire military thin, so there won't be many of them in one place. We'll do the same with the Dai Li, as their biggest advantage is their numbers and combined fighting forms. We have to knock each one of them out. We're already training with Tao Zhu. Two of us will take one Dai Li agent, and all of us will have different moves, so that no agent will be able to predict our moves. Tao Zhu let on that all the Dai Li agents learn the exact same thing, so there shouldn't be too much variety in their defence. We start from the palace walls and under the palace walls. We'll get to the throne room quick, where about ten of the Dai Li will be, attack them, incapacitate Supreme Bureaucratic Advisor Joo Dee, and then the eclipse will start, rendering all firebenders helpless. Our earthbenders will take on the non-benders, encasing them in rock, and our non-benders will attack the firebenders, as they shouldn't be able to fight with weapons. Takiro brought us numbers, and we are all convinced that this plan will work. Of course, it's risky, but it's totally worth it. _

_Two days ago, two groups of thirty people left the city through underground tunnels to go rescue the soldiers from Shun Bay prison and Ru Bay prison. They will travel underground to the prison islands, then the earthbenders will shoot columns up the surface, so that the non-benders reach the platform and start the fighting. From the earth columns from the seabed, the prisoners can use the earth to fight, and the rest of the rescuing troupe will come. Both prisons have fewer guards than prisoners, so their defeat should be easily manageable. _

_The way back will happen underground, too. Nanuk has taught some of the earthbenders to feel vibrations in the earth, so they will even notice, when danger lies somewhere. And with the eclipse we will be unstoppable! _

Frowning, I turned to my brother, raising an eyebrow.

Nanuk grinned sheepishly. "I have taught it to a few during the last nights, but I had no idea you already came up with such a plan!" he gushed, his eyes wide.

Denzai grinned. "It's still basically Kira's plan. Of course, the eclipse gives us an extra advantage…"  
Biting my lip, I noticed this was basically my plan, only I hadn't had time yet to tell the others about this plan. I didn't even tell Denzai about it. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"You told Nanuk to get all your books from the fountain in your garden that you managed to save, right?" he asked.

I nodded. That was two days ago. I had been worried someone could steal my books, lying out in the open, behind a burnt house. Besides, many things I had written in them would count as treason, as would the plans to bring down the Fire Nation. Slowly, I understood.

"Nanuk didn't read them, of course, and he brought them to me. I read them, and immediately went to the Armadillo Lion. Yesterday, we had a very long meeting with all the supporters who signed up at the first meeting. We discussed everything, and Aijian brought in the eclipse thing, and it just seems like a sign, don't you think? As if nature itself, the stars and the sun want us to do something!"

"Yeah, I totally agree. I really like the price list of our cabbage cart," Nanuk said, nudging me gently, and I grinned at him. Someone remembered their code language vocabulary.

"I just hope we'll manage to sell all the cabbages. Imagine them being foul, or the customers being picky… Or the cabbages too expensive! Or the customers not hungry enough!" Denzai cried out, after being reminded that we had a code to talk in in public.

"Calm down, Denzai," Nanuk said, almost annoyed.

Denzai didn't listen, but touched his chin lightly. "Or a bunch of rampaging teenagers flying through the cabbage cart or on the cabbage cart or smashing the cabbage cart to a wall…!"  
Nanuk and I both gave him a deadpan look.

Denzai shrugged. "What? It happens to my Uncle all the time."

oOo

With the battle approaching so fast, just Sunday next week, or Black Sunday how I called it in my head, I was more determined than ever to heal myself. There was no way I was just going to sit in a wheelchair in a hospital, while all the others would risk their lives outside, fighting.

I was very much concerned about the battle happening so soon, and wrote it down to show Denzai and Nanuk, but they were both convinced that we couldn't just let such an opportunity as the eclipse pass. A part of me agreed with them, while another one would have been way calmer thinking we still had one year time, at least.

I liked planning, and I liked being prepared. Having a little more time than one week didn't feel prepared to me. There were so many loose ends, so many things that could go possibly wrong, nothing was really tested, and a very pessimist part of myself called Black Sunday, the Black Su(n)iciday. It wasn't a really good neologism, but Denzai understood it, when I wrote it down. Nanuk didn't.

They both visited me in the afternoon, after school and work, and then they went off to the rebellion meetings.

I had set a deadline for myself. I would be able to walk, or find a way to somehow participate in the battle by this Sunday so that I would have one week time to prepare myself for the battle.

I was still worried about Dad, but I knew I was healing him well, yet slowly. I could keep this up, he would wake up again, and he would be able to walk. I just had to survive the battle.

I knew having a waterbender against the Dai Li would totally make a difference, and could be crucial to our victory. Takiro had said there were a few water basins on both sides of the palace squares, and encasing the Dai Li in ice should incapacitate them, as I knew from fighting with Nanuk that earthbenders couldn't get out of there.

By Friday, I grew largely frustrated with my leg. While my left one was healing nicely, burns and cuts all mended, my right leg… No matter how much I strained myself, I couldn't manage to grow back the flesh and the muscle. I was just lucky that my tendons were still intact. The good thing was that I didn't need the wheelchair anymore. I walked around on crutches, my leg so heavily wrapped in bandages so that no one could see how thin and unnatural it looked. It looked like my whole calf was missing. The leg just ended behind the bone, and I had to resist the urge to vomit every time I saw it.

Doctor Wenjin agreed to release me on Friday, as I didn't have to use the wheelchair anymore. I would come back tomorrow for Dad, and for tonight I was allowed to sleep at the Armadillo Lion.

Professor Chiu didn't expect me back in school, but Denzai brought me an extra appointment: to write a scroll on the human mind set on power. I found it extremely fitting, giving our attempts at freeing the Earth Kingdom, and how we had been conquered, but I also found it a little insulting.

Not being able to walk, I didn't feel powerful at all. I couldn't waterbend like that, and bloodbending… It had never really made me feel powerful. I know it was a powerful weapon, but I couldn't take pride in it. For me feeling powerful also meant taking pride in being good at something, and bloodbending certainly wasn't it.

When I was released, Nanuk was still at his internship and Denzai at school, but San had agreed to pick me up. Before we went anywhere, however, I insisted on getting Nanuk's and my ostrich horse Onyx and Topaz from the pet housing.

I thought I might have an idea to be able to participate in the battle.

The woman running the pet housing helped me up on Onyx, after he had greeted me with fierce nuzzles into my cheek. I think my hat annoyed him, as he normally like nuzzling my hair.

I hadn't seen Onyx in almost two months, and I immediately got a bad conscience. And now I was going to take him to a battle… What a great animal owner I was.

But I knew it was the only way for me. I knew Onyx was the only ostrich horse I trusted, the only one who would trust me enough to willingly lead me into battle, and I needed him. I also always felt better and calmer with him there. Making sure nothing happened to him helped me feeling more determined. It helped me to hate my opponent even more, because I would rip them to shreds, if they hurt Onyx. Of course, I would do the same for Nanuk (if I had claws), but Onyx was an animal, a being completely innocent and irresponsible for all human fighting or wrongness. If someone would hurt Onyx, it wouldn't just enrage me, because I loved him, it would enrage me because he was innocent. It was the same with children or babies, or any other animals. The fury and hatred I felt any time I even heard about a human hurting an innocent life, was all-consuming, waking strong bending powers in me. I knew this dark, angry feeling would help me in battle. I didn't want to kill anyone. But I'd rather kill than be killed or see how the people and animals I loved were killed.

The pet housing owner had managed to secure me on Onyx's saddle, tying me to the leather, so that I wouldn't fall off.

I immediately felt better, powerful again. On top of Onyx I barely felt my crippled leg, and from here I could only waterbend without actually shifting my weight. I would only shift it from thigh to thigh, but it was manageable.

I smiled at the pet housing owner, who had already discussed payment with San, who had assured me there had been a contract between her and Dad, with the bank paying her from Dad's vault. This contract would end as soon as either Dad woke up and ended it, or Nanuk and I would become of age and ended it. I really hoped for the former.

Stroking Onyx's side, I looked around the street. There were a few people shopping, some doing business, but it was less crowded as it had been before the occupation. Surprisingly, I didn't see any fire soldiers, and wondered why that was the case.

When San stepped toward Topaz who carried my few belongings, Denzai's basket and the crutches, I took a piece of paper from my pocket and handed it to her.

I had written different kinds of messages on paper all morning so that I wouldn't have to gesticulate too much.

San read it and frowned. "The Armadillo Lion? The lower ring? Are you being serious? It's not a good place for someone like you to be."

I frowned at her. Someone like me? What, a cripple?

She flushed the moment she noticed how I had taken her words.

"I-I didn't mean… I meant someone from your upbringing. The lower ring is full of criminals, Kilara."

I shrugged and made a dismissive hand gesture, before smiling reassuringly at her.

As she continued to frown at me, I pointed forcefully at the note I had given her.

She raised her hands. "Okay, okay, we'll go there. I just hope their food has a high standard. I'm starving."

I grimaced. As far as I could remember, the Armadillo Lion didn't offer food, only drinks, but you could eat food you've brought from elsewhere.

Thinking about it, I decided it would be too complicated to try to explain this to San using my hands and feet, and I didn't want to start rummaging through my bag to find a pencil and paper. So I decided not to say anything and pretend like I didn't know Cuiling didn't serve any food.

San didn't talk to me on our way to the Armadillo Lion, for which I was pretty grateful. Not being able to reply properly was really annoying. There were so many things I wanted to say, interject, object, or correct, in almost every conversation I was having, and not being able to do so felt like torture. I liked to talk. I liked to discuss things. Sometimes, I even liked to yell. Being quiet was nothing I was good at.

It felt a little like a punishment from the spirits for being a know-it-all, and instead of just enjoying knowing more than other people, rubbing it under their nose. But how else was I supposed to fight sexism in the Earth Kingdom, if I couldn't rub it under men's noses that I could do things just as well as them, or even better?! That I was cleverer, faster to grasp new things, and that it was easy for me to remember things? I had to have a big mouth, I had to talk a lot!

And yes, of course, I enjoyed being better in class than idiots like Cheng, but that was only natural, right? He wasn't only a sexist, he was also a mean bully who didn't even like his own friends. He treated them like idiots, and every time I got more points on an assignment than him, of course I was happy. And it's not like I wanted to rub it under his nose. He was the one asking me what I got every single time. So if his pride couldn't take being bested by a girl, then of course, I would use that to rile him up. I knew it was no honourable thing to do, but I had never really cared. Cheng should be the one being punished by the spirits. Not me.

I almost wanted to cross my arms and pout.

However, this was only an injury, not a curse, so I could heal it. I wouldn't have to promise to give up the things that made me me in order to gain back my voice.

When we arrived at the pub, San helped me with the leather straps holding me, before holding up her arms so that I could support myself on her the moment I would touch the ground. She had already secured Topaz's and Onyx's reins, as she handed me my crutches. She looked around, grimacing a little.

"I hope you know what you're doing, Kilara. This doesn't look so bad for the lower ring, but still…" she said, her worried gaze on me, before drifting off to look suspiciously at the people walking down the street.

I smiled to reassure her, before limping inside.

It was dark inside, as it always was, and not many people were sitting around. Cuiling stood behind the counter, just drying a plate, when Liang approached me with a big smile.

"Liwei!"

Quickly, I changed one crutch into my other hand to pull out pieces of paper from my pocket, quickly searching through them to find the right one and gave it to San for her to read.

_Here, my name is Liwei. Do not ever call me Kilara with these people. They cannot know who I really am. It's to protect Dad and Nanuk. Nanuk's name here is Kona. Denzai's is Shoi-ming, if you have to talk about them. _

"Kona told us yesterday you were going to be released!" Liang said excitedly. He rolled closer, eying my crutches and my bandaged leg. My face lay in shadows, as I wore a hat with a large trim, but I knew he was shocked by what he saw.

I tried not to scowl or fidget too much.

Liang's features hardened quickly, as his jaw clenched. His grip on his armrests tightened, his knuckles turning white. It only lasted for a few seconds, before he nodded to San in greeting. "You must be San."

She nodded and bowed.

Liang turned his wheelchair a little around, looking at us over his shoulder. "Come on. We can talk better in the private house."

San raised her eyebrows at me, and I wondered if Cuiling's office that we had been to the first time we had visited the Armadillo Lion was actually in anther house, only touching walls with the pub.

When we passed the counter, Cuiling stopped drying dishes and leaned closer, smiling at me. "Hello, Liwei. It's good to see you again. Kona sure gave us a fright when he told us what happened."

He gave them a fright? And now, what? Did she think my state wasn't worth being frightened?

"I honestly thought he was overreacting and exaggerating, as he doesn't seem to be the brightest. But it all is really bad, huh?" Her eyes dropped in this pitying way I had seen thousands of times, after Mum had died.

I narrowed my eyes at her, and slammed one of my prepared pieces of paper on her counter.

_I collapsed in a burning house and can't speak. What do you think?_

The corners of her mouth twitched, as she read it, before nodding, her lips pressed together. "You're right, of course. Like I said, I thought Kona was exaggerating. Or I hoped so," she added in a quieter tone.

"We'll go next door," Liang interjected. "To talk about where she will stay."

Cuiling shortly looked at her husband before nodding at us, smiling in a forced way. "Of course. I'll join you, as soon as Tiuro comes for the next shift."

Another of my written questions landed on the counter. _Can you please bring us something to drink? _

The corners of her lips twitched again, as one eyebrow seemed to rise in amusement. She nodded with a soft snort. "Of course."

I inclined my head towards her and followed Liang out of the pub through the back door. He, indeed, brought us to Cuiling's office, in which she had talked to Nanuk, Denzai and I for the first time we had been here.

"Cuiling and I can let you sleep here for a few nights. But given the fact we have to plan for selling cabbages, it wouldn't be wise for you to sleep here until then. You should seem like a short acquaintance, not like someone who could have helped us with the price list," Liang explained, as soon as we were seated.

San frowned at Liang, then at me. "You're planning on selling cabbages with these people?" she asked, her voice aghast with horror. "But Miss H…! That is unacceptable! You're of higher birth, you cannot lower yourself like that!"

I glanced shortly at her, before I shook my head. I was very grateful to Nanuk who had told Cuiling and Liang that we were not to speak of the rebellion in front of San. The cabbage cart was a very weird allegory, which didn't always quite work, but everyone seemed to invent their own way of talking about it.

Frowning, I took a deep breath and pulled all my prepared slips out of my pocket. I had sorted them alphabetically and after topics. Under _San can't know_ I found what I had been looking for.

_I want to experience normal work. Dad said it was okay, as long as Kona is with me. Nothing will happen to me, and no one will recognise me as Dad's daughter. No one here knows who we are. That's why we have fake names._

She looked very sceptical, but fortunately, she remembered what I had told her about Nanuk's undercover name.

Of course, Dad hadn't known. And of course, he wouldn't have allowed it! I mean the rebellion. I was fairly sure he would have allowed me to help people selling their cabbages. It would be a valuable experience for life, if only to show me where I would never want to end up. So it could help me to take my studies even more seriously.

I could see that San wanted to argue even further, but I quickly shoved a note towards Liang on the desk.

_Do you know who can take me in after you?_

Raising his eyebrows slightly, Liang nodded. "Well, there's Takiro, Tao Zhu, and Aijian. Kona was severely against Tao Zhu, though," he added with a teasing smirk.

Fighting the blush in my cheeks, I rolled my eyes.

"But we'll meet them tonight, and then we can discuss your future sleeping arrangements. Tonight, you can sleep in Meixiang's room. We brought an extra mattress in."

"Excuse me, you expect her to sleep on an extra mattress on the floor?" San almost shrieked. "She's gravely injured and by far not common enough to sleep on the ground!"

I smashed a note on her lap.

_Would you stop referring to my higher upbringing? I don't want them to know that much about me! Besides, I've already slept on the floor in the woods, alone. I'm sure I can manage this here, too._

"You have?" San asked warily, her eyes narrowed. Before I could nod, she whipped her head around to Liang again. "And who is this Meixiang she will share the room with?"  
"Meixiang is my little sister. Rest assured, Liwei's dignity will be safe with her, and we brought the extra mattress for Meixiang, as Liwei will surely sleep on the bed," he laughed a little.

San didn't seem assured and her frown only deepened. Clearly, she didn't like that Liang found her concern with my dignity amusing. I had never thought San could be such a good governess, I only knew she was good at cooking and cleaning. I also thought she was a bit too young to act like a governess, she was only in her mid-twenties, after all.

Another note of mine landed on her lap.

_Relax. I got this. Kona will visit me, and I'll let you know where I'll stay next. _

She bit on her lower lip, before she shook her head. "I'm sorry, but I'm just concerned. I promised your father to look out for you, after all. I will stay for this meeting tonight. I want to see the people you could sleep at for the next week."

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!

How would we be able to hold a rebellion meeting with San breathing down my neck? She couldn't just stay here!

My panicked gaze must have been clearly visible to Liang who straightened himself. "Of course. We'll arrange a comfortable, nice meeting. Perhaps over dinner?"

San nodded, looking off to the side. "Yes, that seems quite alright. Now, do you have a large enough bathtub for her so that she'll be able to heal herself?"

oOo

After drinks and food which Cuiling had prepared in her private kitchen, as the pub really didn't serve food, San was in a slightly better mood. She seemed more relaxed around Cuiling, probably relieved that an elder woman around her age would be there to look after me.

I was completely exhausted, which happened pretty quickly lately. I was a bit angry and frustrated that I hadn't been able to practise my bending on Onyx or to research for my essay, but everything that had happened so far had already managed to wear me out.

San brought my things up to the first floor where Meixiang's room was and helped me to get comfortable. We laid my leg on a few pillows and I settled against the wall in my back. I couldn't wait to take the damn hat off, but I didn't want San to see my disfigured head. Rummaging through my bag, I laid paper and pen next to me, as well as a scroll to read.

San produced a bell from her pocket and laid it next to the scroll. "If you need something. I'm going to go downstairs and see if I can make myself useful. And you should rest!" She looked sternly, clearly knowing that I didn't like this one bit.

I was tired and exhausted, and I knew I would need all my strength later this day, in the evening, when Takiro, Tao Zhu, and Aijian would come over. And I somehow also expected all the others to come over later, too.

San laid a blanket over me, and I gave her a dry look. I was not a baby. She only raised an eyebrow. "You have survived a house fire and are severely injured. Let people care for you for earth's sake!" She really knew how to be stern.

I rolled my eyes, but sighed exasperatedly before giving her a small smile. "Thank you," I mouthed.

She smiled shortly before nodding, standing up and looking around the room again. She seemed to look for other things to do, but I really wanted to be alone now.

Frowning at her, I decided not to let her presence bother me, and slid down the wall to lay my head on a pillow. I snuggled into the blanket, pulling it tighter around me and closed my eyes.

For a while, I heard San tidy things up, before finally the sound of the door falling into its lock sounded through the room. Immediately, I took my hat off and sighed in relief. The short hair was still weird, but it felt way better than having my head covered with some accessory.

oOo

Meixiang arrived around an hour before dinner, and although she wasn't particularly loud, I still woke up because of her presence in the room.

She immediately paused in the step she had wanted to take over the extra mattress. She looked ridiculous.

I supported myself on my elbows, as I looked questioningly at her.

"Sorry," she whispered. "I didn't want to wake you."

I didn't get why she was whispering, as I was clearly awake now, and I scrunched up my face in confusion, before I shrugged.

Finishing her step, she walked to the window to sit down on its ledge. She played nervously with her long, black hair, which I was really envious of at the moment. Rolling my eyes, I grabbed the scroll I had brought with me on a philosopher's opinion on power.

"What are you reading?" asked Meixiang several minutes later.

I had already dived into the content of the scroll, not really caring that she was standing next to me, as I looked up at her. I held the scroll so that she could read the title.

Her eyes grew wide. "Oh, do you want to have power? Maybe after defeating the Fire Nation, you could try to rule the Earth Kingdom, as the Earth King is gone," she proposed, but I didn't make out if she was being sarcastic or not.

I snorted and shook my head, grabbing my paper and pen. _It's for school_, I wrote.

She narrowed her eyes. "Aren't you too old for school?" she wanted to know.

I bit the inside of my cheek. Sure, I was, but not for the school I was attending. I wanted to justify myself, but I didn't want to give her any more information on my life, so I simply shrugged.

"You're younger than me," she suddenly said, and I thought that I didn't like her tone one bit.

I raised an eyebrow. _So?_

"You're planning a rebellion. It doesn't make sense to me," she added, before leaning forward, her eyes even more narrowed. "And everyone you're pulling into this will die because of you! You're crazy if you think your plan will work, and my sister-in-law is just as bad as you! It's a suicide mission, and you are idiots!"

Before I could stop myself, I opened my mouth, starting a rant… And of course no words came out, I only rasped, and my throat started hurting.

In annoyance, I gave a soundless snarl, my teeth bared, before I slammed my fist on the mattress. Trying to calm myself, I took a deep breath.

Dammit! How dare she accuse _me _of all this? Attacking the palace in one week had never been my plan! As if I didn't know it was risky! As if I didn't know many people would probably die, and that it could all go terribly wrong!

But the worst thing about this situation was the fact that I couldn't even defend myself. I couldn't tell her what I thought. I couldn't articulate what my opinion was on the matter, and how wrong she was about me. I could write it all down, of course, and make her read it, but I didn't think she would be willing to read my explanation. If I had started ranting at her, she wouldn't have had a choice but to listen to me, if she didn't want to have appeared childish, holding her ears. But on paper? She could simply crumble it, toss it away and say she didn't care what I had to say.

And I would have probably done the same thing. It's easy to take advantage of a person who can't defend themselves, even if it's only verbally.

Meixiang took a step towards me, leaning forward. Her face wasn't contorted in anger, it were simply her eyes which were narrowed to slits, making her look furious. "You just waltzed in here, demanding my sister-in-law helped you, and you're dragging her and my brother into your mess. We already had enough problems before you showed up and ruined everything! Getting the attention of the Fire Nation is the last thing we need! You have no idea what you've done!" she spat, her hands gesticulating wildly around her.

Contorting my eyebrows, I carefully observed her. She was getting a little too upset for someone who was merely concerned with not bringing attention to herself. What's more, I was pretty sure Cuiling and Liang had already told her about what we did and why. I couldn't imagine she didn't want to fight the Fire Nation. Or at least not stay under their occupation.

_Tell me_, I wrote.

She sniffed, frowning at my note, before she straightened herself and walked away.

oOo

Along with Takiro, Tao Zhu, and Aijian, Nanuk and Denzai had apparently decided to join us for dinner.

Nanuk seemed to have convinced Denzai to help him from preventing me sleeping at Tao Zhu's place next week. It was kind of cute, but also terribly idiotic of both of them. It would only plant ideas into Tao Zhu's head or preventing him from wanting to take me in at all.

San was also not so enthusiastic at seeing I would have to spend my next nights at strange men's places. She was very critical about all of them, and definitely didn't believe them that they were selling other vegetables at the market, next to Cuiling's cabbage cart. Tao Zhu tried to flirt with San, maybe because they were the same age, and he felt attracted to her (San was a nice kind of pretty with big, innocent eyes), or because he wanted her to loosen up, as she was clearly a worrywart right now. Either way, it didn't work. She simply shot him disgusted looks, probably because she thought they were all from the lower ring. It was better that way.

I myself didn't like the idea of having to sleep at strangers' homes. I believed none of them had a girlfriend, or wife, or children, where I would feel a lot more comfortable.

When San argued that she would come to their homes in the morning to care for me and leave in the evening, I actually wanted to hug her. I would feel way better knowing she would be there. But on second thought, it would prevent me from preparing for battle. I would need all day to practise waterbending from on top of Onyx, and go over the strategy, trying to work out loose ends. I would have to take care of that. I couldn't let Meixiang's words become true.

_It will be okay, if you just accompany me to Dad, and you can show up around noon every day, but you really don't have to be there all day. You're not even paid for anything anymore. Please don't bother so much_, I wrote down and handed her the note.

She bit on her lip before frowning heavily. "K- Liwei, I'm not doing this for payment. I worry about you! And I could never forgive myself, if I would just abandon your brother and you like this!"

My eyes grew wide. Oh. I had never thought of it this way. That was nice. Really nice of her.

Oh moon, it wasn't like I didn't like San, I really did, but having her worry about me was way more worry than what I ever got from Dad, and it meant that one adult person I had to lie to was a bit closer to my secrets. While Dad had been there, I think San did never worry so much, but without him, she was the only one who could worry.

Of course, there were still Uncle and Aunt, but I highly doubted we could still send letters to them. First of all, it would take weeks for any letters to reach them, secondly, I never tried writing to them since the occupation. It seemed too silly for the Fire Nation to still allow us to send letters out of Ba Sing Se.

And the thing is, San worried way better than Dad. She seemed way more interested in everything I did, while Dad… Yeah, he surely wouldn't get full marks in paying attention.

Nanuk leaned over her shoulder to read my note, before he raised his eyebrows at me.

I gave him a frantic look.

"Look, San, this is a little growing up adventure for Liwei. She'll be away from home for a longer time, for the first time. It's gonna be okay. I feel like she needs some alone time, too." Nanuk gave her a small smile, shrugging.

I felt truly grateful at having him today, as I smiled brightly at him.

"Besides, she can still waterbend. If someone will look strangely at her, they'll be encased in ice in no time," he added, grinning at me.

San chuckled slightly, before taking several deep breaths. "Alright," she sighed, before grabbing my hand, making me promise that I would lash out first and ask questions later.

Tao Zhu seemed a bit amused by all this, if still offended by San's lack of interest, while Takiro openly smiled, obviously touched by San's concern, and Aijian almost looked sad. I wondered if he perhaps remembered having someone he was so concerned for, and then losing them.

We worked out that I was to stay with Cuiling and Liang until Monday, then with Aijian until Wednesday, at Tao Zhu's for one night, at Takiro's until Saturday and then again at the Armadillo Lion. I wasn't exactly looking forward to that, but I hoped I could find out a bit more about each of them, making sure we could trust them. Of course, there were still way too much other people I would need to worry about, but at least, it would calm my nerves a little.

The next days quickly fell into a routine, although everything was different. I didn't like having to share a room, as I didn't have to do that for four years. Meixiang was also not the nicest roommate.

She would bring me towels and she even washed my clothes, but this seemed to be her general chores. During the day, she was working in a flower shop, which seemed very fitting to me. She might be angry at me for "ruining" her family, but she was still thin and fragile. Her round face was beautiful with rosy cheeks and lips, her black hair long, shiny, and slightly wavy, because she slept with braids at night. Seeing her in a flower shop, arranging bouquets was something that fit a girl her appearance. In general, she didn't really seem fierce to me. Her anger was held back, and most of the time I would have thought she liked me, if I didn't remember our first conversation.

San showed up for every lunch, insisting that she would cook something for me. She mostly made me crabs and mussels, for which I could have kissed her! She was also the one helping me each day with the bandages on my leg.

Fortunately, I was already able to take a bath by myself, and I kept on healing my stupid leg as well as I could, but it just didn't react. I couldn't build the flesh and muscle back. Even while concentrating on how my other leg felt, I didn't manage to do anything. So I got to work on my bending in the afternoon, climbing Onyx and bringing a water basin with me.

I managed to teach Onyx a few more tricks, walking sideward, or spinning quickly, depending on where I had to go. I even managed to teach him how to lower himself. He bent in his knees and lowered his neck, which would be practical, if a rock would come hurling toward us.

My bending worked pretty well, and the injury to my chest didn't even hurt anymore.

Whoever had tried to burn me alive had not succeeded. I might have been a cripple, and I might have not been able to speak, but I was still alive, and I was still fighting.

Since I knew having my voice in battle, and being able to shout orders would be helpful, I spent every evening experimenting with healing my throat.

Meixiang always looked pretty curious, when I did that, but she never said anything.

Later in the evenings, we would all meet in the cave under the Armadillo Lion with the other former military members and everyone else who was willing to fight. The number of people who were ready to fight had increased considerately in the last weeks. Our earthbenders had to extend the cave to caves, careful without bending into other people's basement.

Every evening, pairs would team up to fight against Tao Zhu, who would fight in traditional Dai Li style. From what I remembered from them down in the crystal catacombs, Tao Zhu's movements were accurate, and he really seemed to have told the truth, telling us he had been a Dai Li agent once.

When the majority left close to midnight, Nanuk, Denzai, Takiro, Tao Zhu, Aijian, Changpu, Hanjing, Geming, Zemin, and Shian stayed with Cuiling, Liang, and me. We were still working on the plan, trying to go over every little detail, especially our movements within the palace walls, as the palace itself was quite large.

To occupy the Dai Li agents and to better incapacitate them before the eclipse, we came up with a new plan. It turned out Tao Zhu knew of the crystal catacombs and the underground river. Apparently it was very close to the Dai Li's new quarters underneath the palace. The new headquarters weren't as waterproof as the old ones under a lake. We planned on using the river to flood them. Which means, I would flood them. Other earthbenders would create pressure on the river's stream, causing it to ascend in its way, which could in the end flood the whole palace square, which should make it even easier to incapacitate the Dai Li.

It was a lot to do for me and a lot of pressure, too, but with everyone so determined and excited it was hard not to get caught up in the hope shining in their eyes.

On Monday, Tao Zhu, Takiro, Shian, Hanjing, and I went to the underground river. Tao Zhu, Shian, and Hanjing were all earthbenders, and we quickly found our way closest to the palace.

The three of them bent a tunnel to the Dai Li's headquarters, which they left slightly closed. On Black Sunday, earthbenders would create a dam, causing the water to rise and flood the tunnel. With a little more pressure the earth wall which was left would crumble and let the water rush through.

They also bent another tunnel for our quick escape of the water for Sunday. Hanjing seemed to be happy with our work, saying he couldn't wait for the Dai Li scum to drown.

Tao Zhu scowled at him, and I declared again that our goal was not to kill people. And I highly doubted that the Dai Li would just die from something as flooding their headquarters. They seemed to be way too resourceful. It was probably merely a distraction to fight the Fire Nation during the eclipse. After the nine minutes we would hold victory, and there would be no Fire Nation officers left the Dai Li could take orders from. The Dai Li followed the strongest, but all of us seemed pretty sure about not wanting the Dai Li after our victory. If we could somehow pull it off, we would make their order dissolve itself.

Tao Zhu and Takiro seemed to be the two of us who wanted the Dai Li even more gone than the rest. I understood Tao Zhu's motivation, as he had been part of them, probably seeing things which would haunt him for his lifetime. But Takiro? Why would he hate the Dai Li so much?

I planned on finding out while staying at his house.

It turned out on Thursday that Takiro actually only had a flat. A very small flat. I was allowed to sleep in his bed, while he took his sofa, just like Aijian, and Tao Zhu had done it, too.

I was very grateful to the two of them for taking me in, even if only for a few days. Aijian had seemed okay with the silence, while Tao Zhu had talked enough for the both of us.

Whenever Takiro was gone, I tried to find some clues to his person in his flat. I knew it wasn't polite, but I didn't want to risk someone maybe betraying us. Aijian and Tao Zhu hadn't seemed to have anything to hide, but I was still curious on finding out more about Takiro.

I mean, his first words had been lies. Good, I was lying about my name, too, but still… Then, he was born in the colonies, maybe he still had some Fire Nation friends! And yes, I know I had had a Fire Nation friend, too, probably one of the worst of all, if the others would know that about me…

Either way, I didn't find anything which hinted at loyalty to the Fire Nation, only some work papers, patrolling schedules he had stolen from the palace for the rebellion, and a picture of a pretty woman with a very wide smile. She had chocolate brown eyes and black hair, her skin dark enough to show she spent a lot of time outdoors, so I assumed she was a hard worker. Or the painter didn't have had any other shade of colour. Although the woman looked tentative, her smile was bright and seemed happy.

Did Takiro have a girlfriend? As far as I knew he didn't, but maybe this was his sister, although she didn't look like him at all.

Putting the picture back, I quickly went outside again to practise my bending on Onyx's back. In the late afternoon, I needed another nap, but after experimenting with healing my vocal folds, I thought about how I could possibly ask Takiro about the woman.

Over dinner on Friday, I shoved a note towards him.

_Can I ask you something?_

His eyebrows rose in a questioning way, before he swallowed his rice, nodding. "Sure."

_How was growing up in the colonies?_

He grimaced. "It wasn't so bad. Of course, the Fire Nation people were always somehow richer and allowed to do more. It was especially nasty going to school with them. Their bullies would get away with everything, and we would get punished for their actions. But not all the Fire Nation kids were like that. Some just wanted friends and were great playmates. However, when I grew older, every one of us seemed to understand that a certain way of acting was expected of us. My fire friends met us seldom, and if we saw them, they only nodded, and we never talked long. They were expected to act superiorly towards us, and we were expected to do everything for them. My family had lived like that since I could remember, and my earth friends never complained much. It was just how things were." He shrugged. "But I couldn't take it anymore, and so I left in the end."

_Wasn't that incredibly dangerous? _

The corners of his mouth twitched, before he shook his head. "No, not at all. I just left with a delivery cart to Omashu. We weren't stopped or anything."

_What did you do after then?_

"For a while, I lived in Omashu. I actually only came here two years ago. Only through coincidence, I met someone who helped me get the job I have. I'm greatly indebted to her," he added, almost sadly, staring at his plate.

I had to fight to stop myself from smirking. I didn't know yet if I had the information I wanted. _Two years is a long time to pay someone back._

"Oh, er, yeah." He cleared his throat. "She, er, she moved. I can't reach her anymore."

_So she's not your girlfriend or anything?_

His eyes widened at my question, and I swear I saw some pink colour on his cheeks. "N-no. We were never… Well, we didn't have a lot of time together," he added in a thoughtful way, before he looked back up at me. "But if we manage to defeat the Fire Nation, I might find her again."

Raising my eyebrows, I smiled a perfectly pleasant smile, nodding, trying to look reassuring.

Yes, if we defeated the Fire Nation, maybe things would become way better for so many people. All the imprisoned earth soldiers could return to their families, the generals would stop being tortured, and no one would have their house burnt down.

But the closer Black Sunday came, the more I feared it. What if everything went wrong? What if I had missed something important? What if someone would betray us? What if my safety net wouldn't work?

I didn't feel well at all. I felt agitated and afraid. I was shaking, and it felt like something bad would happen soon. It felt like how I had felt the day Zuko had told me about the Fire Nation's victory in the war.

I visited Dad on Saturday again, healing him, seeing how he had become thinner, and I started to worry. The doctors said they could keep him alive for a few more weeks, without him eating something properly, but I wouldn't have forever, until he would need to be fully healed. Since it took more time than I had thought, they began starting looking for alternative treatment plans and remedies again, but it seemed futile to me.

And Black Sunday came. I woke up early, nervous as hell, afraid, my stomach churning. There was stew for breakfast, and I was very grateful for that, as it wouldn't make me want to throw up. The warm liquid calmed my stomach, and the meat would give us strength.

All of us were incredibly tense and quiet. Meixiang kept shooting me dirty looks over breakfast, as Cuiling seemed to murmur things soundlessly to herself, while Liang mostly played around with his chopsticks.

At nine o'clock it was time. I had to go with Shian, and Hanjing, who would bring me to the entrance to the crystal catacombs. A dozen other earthbenders, including Nanuk, would wait for us to make our move on the Dai Li's headquarters.

I bowed to Cuiling, Liang, and Meixiang to say goodbye and thank them. I handed each of them a note, thanking them, telling them not to worry, to trust in their abilities for today. We would be alright. We had to be.

I swallowed several times, while riding Onyx to the catacombs. I tried to calm myself, telling myself I had already dealt with Fire Nation royalty, then their army couldn't be so bad.

"Liwei!" Nanuk shouted, running at me, as we emerged from the tunnel to the large hall lit by crystals.

I smiled widely at him, taking his hand in mine, as I had to look down at him.

"How are you?" Nanuk said quietly, his eyes wide and full with worry. We had only seen each other yesterday evening, as we all had gone over the plan again, with every each member of our rebellion.

I scrunched my face up in a way that said "Okay, but nervous as hell".

He nodded, biting on his lower lip. "Yeah, me, too." He wore his hair in a more practical style today, with all of it up in a bun so that it wouldn't fall into his face.

I had to stop myself from wearing a hat this morning. I had thought of bandaging my head, but in the end, I had left my head like it was. Patched, short, unsymmetrically cut hair which began way too far on the forehead, which was paler than the rest of my face due to a large scar.

Nanuk squeezed my hand again, as if he knew what I had been thinking. Looking at him, I couldn't help but think that he looked like a real warrior now. Every one of the earthbenders around us wore some kind of patched up armor, nothing looked like it had meant to be armor, even those who used to be soldiers, and I wondered if they maybe didn't have that armor anymore. But the most important thing was that each and every one of us was wearing green. Some wore yellow, beige or brown underneath, but our top clothes were all green, and that was the most important message.

Looking over the earthbenders, I felt a little like a general. I was sitting on the back of an ostrich horse, while the rest was standing on the floor, waiting for orders. I figured they looked to Hanjing, who had held the highest rank of all of them in the army, but I wanted my piece, too; since I had been crucial to the planning and evolving of the plan.

I handed Nanuk a scroll which he eagerly opened, before looking at me in a confused way. I gave him an encouraging nod.

"Everyone! Listen! I'm going to read what my sister Liwei prepared for us. She isn't only our waterbender, but also the person we should thank for being able to stand here," he said, and I blushed slightly, as nothing of that was mentioned in the scroll.

Nanuk smiled at me, before he continued, my scroll hanging next to him. "She and her friend Shoi-ming came up with the idea of planning a rebellion. We wrote flyers to rise up the people, to make them become aware to the injustice we have to live with. And we found the Armadillo Lion, which brought us all together. Just like my sister brought us all together, demanding from the Armadillo Lion that we needed help, and that we were recruiting and holding meetings. Some of you came to a meeting, some of you were recruited. Either way, it was through her that is happened. Liwei invented our code, she came up with most of our plan, and she will be crucial in today's fight. Her waterbending will be extremely important for us to take out the Dai Li. Are you ready to defend her with your life?" Nanuk wanted to know, his voice strong and confident.

He stood there, at my feet, next to Onyx like a general himself, and everyone listened to him, seemingly hanging on his every word.

A very strong "Yes!" came from the men.

Nanuk nodded. "Without her, we might fail today. And failure is not an option. Are you ready to die for her?"

My eyes grew wide at Nanuk's words. I wouldn't have gone that far.

But the answer was just as strong as the first one, if not even stronger.

"I want each of you to look out for her through the whole battle. Remember, no waterbending, no victory." I couldn't see Nanuk's face, but I could imagine how hard it looked. Then he cleared his throat and looked down at the scroll I had handed to him.

"People of the Earth Kingdom. You are persistent, stubborn and strong like a rock. You are proud and willing to endure everything as long as you've got hope. It is with great pride that I can call myself one of you. But our nation has been burnt. It has been invaded, and soon it will turn to ash. Today is the day, the only day we can put a stop to it. Today is the day of the eclipse. It is the day nature itself gives us an advantage over our enemy. We embrace nature's gift, and we will use everything we have to achieve our goal. We will do everything we can to free Ba Sing Se today! We have trained, we have planned, and we are strong. We are the Rebellion of the Armadillo Lion. The Armadillo Lion brought us here, and as we all know large cats are the only enemy of the dragon. We are armadillo lions! We are panda tigers! We are gnu leopards! We are the large cats of the Earth Kingdom who will take the dragons down. We will defeat the dragons, and we will drive them away off to where they came from!"

In that moment, the men cheered. Just as I had imagined them to while I had written the speech. It felt pretty cool, like in one of my historical novels, when the king or general gave the speech to his army. Although those dozen men were surely not an army.

"And together, as the people of earth, we will defeat them!" Nanuk shouted, and the men shouted back warrior cries, as well as insults to the Fire Nation.

A thrilling feeling went through my veins, I felt excited at the prospect of battle, at the prospect of winning and being free again. My speech affected me, and I knew it was also because Nanuk pronounced everything in a very convincing way. He was a great talker.

The bad feelings I had had about this day were almost all gone.

"For the Earth Kingdom!"

As everyone around us screamed with enthusiasm and pugnacity, I knew it had been the right decision to write this speech.

_**Zuko**_

A part of me felt bad for not leaving earlier and warning the invasion troupe that Azula knew about their plan. But I also knew that they wouldn't have believed me.

If I had somehow made it to them, and I had no idea where they even had been before arriving on the main island, I would have been shot down, bound and maybe even killed, before I could have opened my mouth. I was relatively confident that the Avatar would listen to me, but these grown men, these warriors had really fought in the war for years. I wouldn't hold it past them if they would kill firebenders just on sight.

And I was a little bit worried about the Avatar not getting out of here, but I knew Azula's plan was only to steal his time, and then to tell him where Father was. If the Avatar was smart, he would leave right after that.

I hated everything about this day. So many lives would be lost for nothing. I mean, Azula knew about the invasion, and she and Father set up a plan which involved hiding. It didn't involve saving our people at the port from enemy forces, but I shouldn't be surprised. Father had already willingly let his own soldiers die before.

So, there was the battle I hated. I hated having to leave Mai, and know that it would seem to her like I didn't care enough. I did care for her, and I was almost sure I loved her. The last week we had spent together had been great, like out of some very badly written, cheesy romance novel. What Uncle used to read. Mai had been nicer again, smiling a lot, chuckling a little, blushing at some of my comments, and just thinking about it made me feel like an absolute asshole. She had told me she was worried she wouldn't be enough for me. And I had reassured her, only to break my promise.

But if I had to be completely honest with myself, the world's fate meant more to me than Mai. If I could only be with her in a bad world, I would rather leave her and try to make the world better. I would try to make the Fire Nation better.

My thoughts reminded me of Kilara, who had said the exact same thing about our friendship. That she'd rather be no friends with me in a good world than being friends with me in a bad world.

And now I understood that it really didn't mean I hadn't meant enough to her. (Or it didn't have to mean that, but it had probably meant it when she said it, as she hadn't wanted to be my friend anymore) The way I felt about Mai… It was strong, stronger than almost anything I've ever felt. But my duty to my nation was more important, because it wasn't all only about me. The world was at stake. The Earth Kingdom was at stake, and if leaving meant saving half the world's population, then it wasn't a question to me anymore.

Because of Mai, everything had seemed so perfect lately, and I had completely forgotten about my talk with Ty Lee on the beach at night. But yesterday, after hearing my father's plan, after realising it would mean so many innocent people would die, people who had faces and names in my head – Song, Li, Smellerbee, Longshot, Pao, Jin, Denzai, Nanuk, Kilara, even Jet – I couldn't just do nothing. It felt like back then during my first war meeting, as the urge to save people had been too big as to listen to Uncle's words from earlier.

Yesterday, I had managed to remain silent, but I had known that if I couldn't say something, I had to do something.

And what I hated more about this day was that I had to leave my family. Not really Azula and Father, but who Azula and Father had been once, who I had hoped we could be again with time. But leaving would mean giving them up. I felt sad for Azula, but not for Father.

With the plan for Sozin's comet, with what Father had shown yesterday, a side of him I always knew he had, but had never wanted to see, I had given up on him. I had understood that this man would never be able to love me, and I had also understood that I would rather die than get his love. I didn't want to be loved by someone like him. I didn't want a father like him, and I didn't want to live in a world ruled by him.

But what I hated the most about this day was that my mind was suddenly clear. I saw, and I understood. I knew for sure that I had done horrible things in my life, and now there was no way for me of justifying them. I was determined to make it up to the people I had wronged, but it would be hard. Seeing all the mistakes I made was no nice experience. I tried to push my guilty feelings aside, concentrating more on doing the right things now, and doing them well. I would need to beg for forgiveness. A part of me was revolted by that, but remembering what I had done, I would cringe, and I worried if begging for forgiveness would even be enough for the Avatar and his friends to trust me.

The whole day, Ty Lee's words, Kilara's words, and all of Uncle's words had been rushing through my head, while I had taken preparations. Almost immediately after the meeting had I begun to pack.

No one had bothered me, and no one had come to my room. It was perfect. But I didn't trust it. Although, maybe it was a sign. Maybe everything would work out just fine, because I was finally planning something for the good side. Because I listened to love, not to anger.

I grimaced at the thought, it sounded a lot like Uncle. But then I had to smile. Maybe it was good I sounded like him. Maybe it would help me make him forgive me.

I slung my bag over my shoulder and didn't look back when I closed my door.

_**Kilara**_

Everything had gone well so far.

Flooding the Dai Li's headquarters, flooding the palace square, incapacitating the Dai Li agents. It really weren't much of them. Encasing them in ice had left many of us able to find against the Fire Nation soldiers.

We met up with Cuiling and Meixiang, who were accompanied by former Colonel Changpu, Lieutenant Geming and several other former members of the army.

Pushing through to the throne room was also easy. Takiro knew the way, and I had plenty of water at my disposal.

When we pushed through the doors to the throne room, there were only three Dai Li agents standing around the throne with one woman sitting in it. Her legs were crossed, and she had one elbow on an armrest, supporting her head, as she eyed us curiously.

I immediately began to feel like something was wrong. My heart beat strongly all the way into my throat. I was excited from the battle, from bending, and I was frightened of what might come.

The doors closed behind us, being bent by six Dai Li agents, pushing some of our warriors out of the room. They were screaming in rage and in pain.

Now we were only two dozen maybe.

I wondered how the Dai Li agents managed to keep the door shut. There were way more of our earthbenders out there.

"Well, well, well, so you are the little rebellion I heard about," the woman on the throne said, before standing up and making her way to us. She smiled widely, showing all her teeth, as her dark hair flowed behind her.

My eyes widened in recognition, and I felt all the blood leaving my face. She looked just like the woman on the painting I had found at Takiro's!

Suddenly, as if on cue, all around the room, on every wall, several Dai Li agents jumped down from the ceiling. They surrounded us, they were thrice as many people as we were. If I had water with me in here, we would have a chance. But I didn't have any besides that which was still engulfing my arms. And that was way too less.

There were still may people of us outside, but I was sure the Dai Li wouldn't hesitate to kill all of us, opening the doors later and just slaughter the rest of the rebels.

The agents advanced on us.

"Now, who of you was planning all this? There had got to be a brain behind this brilliant plan," the woman fluted, and I chose to call her Joo Dee in my head, as that's probably who she was. Supreme Bureaucratic Advisor Joo Dee. The executive of the Fire Lord in Ba Sing Se.

I swallowed. Shit, she wanted me.

At least, that's what I thought. Sure, Cuiling had the contacts, but I had started all this. If I could go back and unstart it all, right now, I would.

To my horror, no one said anything, no one even glanced in my direction.

"Hm," Joo Dee pouted, regarding her nails. "So this means all of you have to land in high security prisons, until you can be brought before the Fire Lord. It's a pity, really. I wished I wouldn't have to occupy his time with scum like you."

My es widened. Before the Fire Lord?

I tightened my grip on Onyx's reins, as I seemed to shake. Out of fear, maybe. Or out of anger.

She said she had known of our rebellion. She had had more Dai Li agents waiting in here. They had escaped the flood! She only had Dai Li agents in here, which meant the non-firebending firebenders were all outside. But maybe there was still hope.

There were a lot of us outside. There were a lot of us on the outer wall. They could still win, and come and help us. But in that moment, loud shouting was heard from the halls.

I froze with terror. Those screams…

What was happening out there?

All of us seemed to wear the same looks of horror, as we all turned our heads to the large doors.

"Oh, er, the special Dai Li agents seem to take care of your friends out there. They were ordered not to leave a single soul alive. But maybe revealing your leader would put a stop to the fighting out there," she mused, tapping her chin.

I glared at her, wondering if Princess Azula had given her a crash course on how to act like the malicious princess. But Takiro had still implied he had loved this woman…

Had he betrayed us because of Joo Dee?

Frantically, I looked around, searching for him, my gaze hanging on several people before travelling further.

"It was her!" A loud, shrill voice sounded through the room, and I searched for the source.

Behind the Dai Li agents, out of the circle they had drawn around us, stood Meixiang.

She walked up to Joo Dee and then very clearly pointed at me. "The girl with the scars and short hair on the ostrich horse. She was the one planning everything! She made them follow her, and she alone is responsible for all their actions!"

* * *

_So you've made it through this long chapter! Thanks so much for reading! _

_And I am so sorry for so little Zuko in this chapter. It was necessary, but since you all know, Zuko will join the gaang, so there will be a lot of Zuko in the next chapters! And not just Zuko, but Zuko interacting with the gaang! I've been waiting for forever to finally write this!_

_Kira's voice has still not returned, but the only other bad thing right now is her leg. And of course, that someone obviously betrayed the rebellion. The scene mirrors a little bit what Aang experiences at the same time in the capital, finding out that Azula had known about the invasion, but it is still different. Betrayal is worse. _

**_Answers to reviews: _**

_To _uchihaNaruto247_: Yeah, I thought so, too, about Azula's flirting attempts. Well, Kira's scars will fade with time, but it takes a while. I actually have burned myself accidentally on the oven two weeks ago, and I described the healing process of Kira's burns just like mine, although I actually have no idea how a burn from fire would heal. Well, about her legs, that's for me to know and for you to find out... Actually, I don't know it yet. Healing a wound like this, where flesh and muscles are missing, seems maybe too complicated for waterhealing. I don't know yet what I will do about this situation. Of course, I don't want Kira not to be able to walk properly for the rest of her life, but it's also a humbling experience, and I think it gives her character more deepness. And I think it's also typical for characters from ATLA to experience a low. Well, as you read here, Kira is resourceful and managed to find a way to fight the Fire Nation just fine. Of course, not fighting them could not have been an option for her, and I knew that. About Izumi's mother, I meant that the fandom doesn't know. It wasn't confirmed a hundred percent that Mai is Izumi's mother, and I meant that not finding out through Legend of Korra angered me, so I wanted to answer this question for myself. And of course Kira will be Izumi's mother, but what will then exactly happen is still a lot of chapters away. I really wish I could answer all your questions, but that would heavily spoil you! Aw, thanks! I'm really trying with the reaching reader's emotions part! And thanks so much to you for reviewing every time, it really means a lot to me. I love reading what you think about my chapters!:D  
_

_To _Reading Rainbow7_: Thank you for your review! It's great reading reviews from new readers! Well, the comics are canon to me, too, that's why I use material from them. Not making people feel like they're rewatching the series is exactly what I have aimed at! I personally don't like it very much when I read fics, in which the series are just retold, as I know the series pretty well. ATLA has been on Netflix in my country for years, so of course I've been watching it a lot, also to research for my fic. And inventing things between the scenes of the series feels like more fun to me, as I can really be creative. Yeah, making them seem like real teenagers is important to me. Yes, they are fighting a war, but they are also teenagers, who should have normal teenage problems, or at least think normal teenage thoughts. Thanks again for reading and reviewing!:)  
_


	23. Chapter 23

_Hi everyone! Oh my god, I have been waiting for forever to finally write and publish this chapter! It's part of the reason why I rushed things in the last chapter... This was definitely one of my favourite chapters to write, and I hope you will like it just as much as I do! _

_We're going to find out what happened to Kilara, and how Zuko interacts with the gaang after having joined them. :D _

_It's been a long journey to finally come to this point! I think it's been over a year now since I've published the first chapter, and I know I have written awfully detailed chapters with a slow pace, so thanks to all of you who are sticking with me and are still reading this!  
_

_I do not own Avatar The Last Airbender, nor its characters. The only characters I own are my OCs. _

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**Chapter Twenty-Three**

**Changes and Memories**

_**Kilara**_

It had been mere minutes that I was sitting in here, but it already felt like too long.

My head rested against a grey stone wall, and the only light I had came from outside the door. There was a little window with bars in the door, probably for air, as there didn't seem to be any other way to air this prison. Or dungeon, if I was being honest.

My head was hurting from the fall, as well as my shoulder. I had tried to roll, so that I wouldn't fall in an uncomfortable angle, but through not being able to stand on my right leg and since my arms were bound around my torso, I had simply fallen painfully to the ground. The two guards who had shoved me to the ground had snorted, one of them saying "Can't believe this hideous cripple can do much." The other one had hummed affirmatively.

The stench in here was horrible. I immediately deducted the smell of urine, stool, sweat, and vomit. There was a fouler stench in here, too, as if something was rotting away, or a huge pile of gone food was lying somewhere, and my hope to somehow make it out of here unscathed vanished quickly. However, I already knew I was to be brought before the Fire Lord. Maybe I could escape during the transport. I didn't think they would send many guards for the transport, and I could easily use bloodbending to overwhelm them. On the other hand, I didn't know if I could really escape. I couldn't walk for spirit's sake!

How could I flee, if I couldn't run?

The rope around me didn't make me worry much. I didn't need my arms for bloodbending, and I could simply make one of the guards free me, if the need arose. That plan had worked. The Fire Nation didn't know that I could defeat the guards without my arms. I was already thinking about the ocean, since we were clearly going to cross the sea, but I also didn't know if I could even bend myself over water. Since there was just no muscle anymore in my right calf, I couldn't balance, I couldn't stand.

My last hope would be Zuko. If I didn't manage to escape and was brought before the Fire Lord, I could only hope that Zuko would be there, too, and that he would miraculously want to save my life. But after the way I had had to treat him, I didn't think he would be very happy to see me.

Closing my eyes, I tried to listen for any noises from the outside, and not to think about how greatly I had fucked everything up.

_**Zuko**_

I was nervous. Shit, I was nervous like magma!

Chewing on my lower lip, I kept rubbing my hands on my pants, trying to keep them from sweating. What if my hands would be so sweaty that I won't be able to hold one of the bowls the waterbender girl was giving out, and then the hot stew would land on the Avatar, and I would have accidentally burnt him, and then everyone would think I wasn't sincere, and that I had betrayed them?! And what if they had special rules or rituals for dinner?

Pressing my eyes shortly together, I let out a quick breath, and before I could chicken out, left the safety of the corridor and made my way towards the open area, where the fire was burning.

I could count seven children and almost stopped dead in my tracks. Seven? They had never been seven before. Always three. Well, at first. The tiny earthbender with the huge hair had only appeared after the North Pole, when I hadn't been able to chase them anymore. And earlier today, they had also only been four!

The Avatar's head snapped back and he smiled tentatively. "Zuko! Come sit down!" He skidded to the side, his legs crossed.

I would sit between him and the Water Tribe boy. They probably thought this was the safest place for me, and I wondered if either they were complete idiots, or if the Water Tribe boy had become better at fighting since I first saw him.

I nodded at the Avatar, remembering to smile, and the corners of my mouth tugged up.

His smiled seemed to grow wider, before he turned towards the Water Tribe girl in front of him, who handed him a bowl full of stew. In that moment I remembered something I had read about the airbenders, while I had been preparing to set out to search for him.

"Aren't…" I swallowed, as suddenly all of their eyes were trained on me. "Aren't you vegetarian?"

The kid's eyes widened. "Yeah! I am. How do you know?"

I frowned. But there was meat in the stew. "I've read that airbenders were vegetarians, because they deemed all life to be sacred," I quickly explained, as I could feel the glare of the waterbender, as she bent some stew into another bowl.

I would have been the next in the circle, but she swiftly began at the other end with the… er, boy with the moustache? He didn't look older than me, but he already had a moustache?

There had been no hair whatsoever growing on my chin yet…

"That is correct, Zuko," the airbender said, nodding, as if I had answered the question of a teacher.

"Really? You never told us!" the annoying voice of the water guy on my other side sounded behind me.

The Avatar leaned forward to look at him. "No, it's true."

"Ah! That explains why you didn't want to leave Zuko out in the ice with the blizzard, right?" water guy probed, and my head snapped back to him at hearing my name.

My eyes widened as the realisation dawned on me. Oh, shit. He had saved my life. Fucking saved my life!

The Avatar seemed to think hard on that, before he half nodded, half shrugged. "Probably. But I also thought it was the right thing to do, you know."

I didn't know what to say. Honestly, I was completely thunderstruck for a moment. This was hellishly awkward! I wanted to say "Thank you." I wanted to say "I'm sorry I didn't do anything when my sister tried to kill you, you're not so bad", but I could never say that, right?

Before I could open my mouth to say anything, the waterbender beat me to it.

"What?" she spat. "You're not going to thank him?" He icy blue eyes glared at me with a lot of contempt.

I cringed uncomfortably. "I intended to do so," I replied calmly. "I was just first in a bit of a shock. I mean, who in their right mind saves the guy who kidnapped you?"

Her glare became more prominent, as the Avatar looked at me with an almost offended look. I didn't get why, until I realised I had practically called him insane.

Water guy and earth girl, however, totally cracked up. They had both very cackling, very dirty laughs. While the girl had a laugh coming from deep in her stomach, his laughter was more of a throaty laugh.

"Oh man, you are so right!" Water boy laughed, and a hand suddenly landed on my shoulder, heavily, as if he had meant to hit me, but it didn't hurt.

I frowned at him.

"Well, maybe my Avatar powers _knew_ Zuko had to stay alive, or I wouldn't have a firebender teacher now!" The Avatar said pointedly, almost pouting, as he crossed his arms, glaring slightly at me, water boy, and earth girl.

Earth girl only laughed harder at this, and the other three boys all looked a bit uncomfortable. I felt so, too.

"Um, well…" I rubbed the back of my neck, shortly glancing at the waterbender giving a bowl to water guy, knowing she would have to give me mine next. Maybe I should watch her closely, so as to make sure she wouldn't poison it. "I was meaning to ask why you eat this if you're vegetarian."

The Avatar shortly glanced down at his bowl. "Oh, er…"

"I separate Aang's portion every time, before I add the meat!" the waterbender suddenly growled, all but handing me another bowl, as I had trouble reaching for it, so forcefully did she shove it into my lap.

She spilled some of the content, but I took deep, calming breaths. She was right. She had a right to be mad at me. Honestly, the others were a bit mad for even accepting me here, as I could easily try to murder them in their sleep, but I was happy to show them I wouldn't do that. I was happy and grateful for the chance I had been given, and I would not halt for anything on my way to prove them I had deserved this chance. To prove it to myself.

"I know Aang well enough to know he doesn't eat any meat, or who do you think has been cooking here all this time?" she hissed further, now bending some stew in a bowl for herself.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to presume…" I started, but didn't know if I wanted to finish that sentence. "I was simply confused, as it looked to me like he was eating meat." I lifted my shoulders slightly.

"Don't worry, Zuko. I have never eaten any meat," the Avatar said, as he slurped the stew from his spoon.

"I didn't worry," I said a bit too forcefully. "Like I said, I was just confused!"

"Alright, alright, we got it!" water boy said in his annoyingly high pitched voice and padded my shoulder!

He freaking padded my shoulder!

I tensed, my eyes widening, as I stared at the stew in my lap.

One could get comfortable through being padded on the shoulder, not noticing that the next pad would be with a knife. I had learned that, when I had been seven years old. A teacher had amicably praised me, and then suddenly one of the training daggers had been bored into my skin at the shoulder blade. He had told me never to let my guard down.

I tried to breathe calmly, to prepare myself for defence, without letting them know that I knew what was happening. Oh dragons, what had I even been thinking they would just accept me like this? Of course, they would be the ones going to murder me in my sleep!

"So, Zuko," water boy said, his hand leaving my shoulder completely, before I heard a slurping sound from him.

Slowly, I looked back at him, seeing him indulging in the stew. Maybe the padding had just been a threat, and not the beginning of my slow death.

Cautiously, I skidded a bit backwards, so that I would be able to have a good look at all of them. The little boy with the helmet and the boy in the wheelchair seemed terribly nervous. They probably didn't like dining in my presence. Not that I could blame them. The boy with the moustache was glaring at me, just like the waterbender. She sat next to him, leaned on one arm in his direction. The earthbending girl had a smirk plastered on her face, as she only seemed to enjoy her stew.

The Avatar had a curious, but friendly look on his face, and the water boy looked calculating.

In this moment, the Avatar reminded me a little of Ty Lee with the big, grey eyes and friendly expression. A corner of my mouth tugged.

"Tell us about yourself," the water boy drawled on.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "What do you mean?"

"Well, we've accepted you into the group, but we hardly know anything about you…" He trailed off, as if it were obvious where this was going, his eyebrows raised at me in an asking way, as he leaned further towards me.

I tried to lean back as inconspicuously as possible. "We met almost a year ago," I held against him.

"So you mean to say we only have to know about you that you were evilly chasing us, then stopped, then kind of did it again, and now completely turned on your people and country to help us? Oh, and that you always shout like a madman when you're bending!" he counted off his fingers, looking highly pleased with himself. The calculating glint in his eyes was still there, but he also seemed to enjoy riling me up.

My whole body had tensed, and my hands were already cramping, as I held on to the stew bowl. "Okay, fine," I snarled. "What do you want to know?"

"What's your favourite animal?" the Avatar almost jumped at the prospect of asking something.

I felt myself pale a little, as I was reminded of a similar conversation I once had had. It was a nice memory, and although the memory of Kilara wasn't an altogether happy one, thinking about our first evening in Ba Sing Se very much was. It almost made me smile.

"I, uh…" When I was a kid, I had always said 'Dragon!', but Azula had always just laughed at me, called me a dumdum, because dragons were extinct. Your favourite animal couldn't be an extinct animal, she had said. So I had then said 'Dragon moose!'. "Well, I suppose… dragons?" My voice sounded very hesitant, and it sounded like a question.

The waterbender and the boy with the moustache snorted at my answer, while earth girl grinned wildly at me. "It's always good to hold a deep respect for the animal that taught the humans how to bend an element." She smirked, almost to herself, and one corner of my mouth lifted, as I nodded at her.

"Dragons are cool!" the Avatar said.

"Aang, we don't want to know what his favourite animals are, but if we can trust him!" water boy scolded, and the Avatar, whose name was probably Aan, or Ehng (I had never before heard that name, so I wasn't sure if I was hearing it correctly), turned his nose up.

"Well, I think liking dragons makes him very trustworthy!"

"Thanks?"

"Why on earth would that make him trustworthy? They are giant, firebreathing reptiles! With fangs!" Water boy began gesticulating with his hands.

"Well, Roku had a dragon!" the airbender huffed.

"But you told us, so had Sozin!" water boy objected, and I flinched at hearing the names of my two great-grandparents.

"Well, Zuko, do you prefer blue or red dragons?" the Avatar asked with a pointed, but hopeful look.

I became more and more confused with this conversation. Where did all their thoughts come from?

I felt sweat breaking out on my forehead. I didn't know what to do! Oh, this was even harder than I had thought! These people were completely different than me. How would I ever understand them! It seemed like their brains in themselves seemed to be made of a different matter.

My gaze darted around them, looking at the green and blue clad people, apart from the Avatar who wore orange and yellow with… grey pants and black boots? This looked an awful lot like Fire Nation fashion…

I shook my head to clear my thoughts. "Er, I think the safer answer would be blue, but the honest answer is red," I murmured.

"Ha!" the Avatar called out in triumph, throwing one fist into the air. "You see, Roku's dragon was red, Sozin's was blue. Well, teal, I suppose," he added like an afterthought.

I narrowed my eyes at him. How did he know that? Was this some Avatar knowledge he had just been born with? Or had he broken into the dragon catacombs or some other Fire Sages' Temple, too?

Water boy rolled his eyes. "Yeah, that makes him trustworthy," he drawled sarcastically, and although they were talking about me, and water boy obviously didn't trust me, it was easier to work with that than the… whatever the Avatar was doing.

I snorted in amusement.

Water boy sighed deeply, before touching his head, as if he would get a headache. I began to think he was probably the leader of the group. He seemed to be the smartest and most level headed person here. I had always thought it was up to the Avatar to make all the decisions, but he acted a bit odd right now.

"Well, Zuko, you grew up with the Fire Lord as your dad," earth girl suddenly chimed in. "The most evil man alive. How was that like?"

I tried to make out why she wanted to know, and if she even did want to know. The hostile and frightened party of the evening probably didn't even want to know, or wouldn't believe me anyways, but as I turned around to look at the Avatar and water boy, I understood that it would maybe help them to come to trust me.

"He wasn't always the most evil man alive," I started, but was interrupted by an unbelievable, humourless laughter from the waterbender. I glared shortly at her, but chose to mostly ignore her. "My grandfather was worse, when he was still alive." I scratched at the side of my head. "But my father got worse, too, with age. He's pretty evil right now. And… now I know that growing up like this was awful. As a kid, you just wanna play, but you can't. There are so many rules, and when you're not good enough,…" My eyes drifted to the tiny boy with the helmet, and I snapped my mouth shut, before I said too much. I swallowed, before clearing my throat. "Well, it was strict and cold. Punishments were severe, and family didn't always mean what it's supposed to mean. We were taught the Fire Nation was the greatest nation on Earth, and that the war simply helped to share our greatness with the rest of the world. So I grew up thinking I was superior to almost everyone around me," I explained further. "Whilst at the same time, everyone above me looked down on me." Except for Uncle and Lu Ten, though.

Water boy frowned. "But wouldn't the people above you be your own family?"

I raised an eyebrow. "You remember the fight against my sister at this abandoned village?"

He nodded solemnly.

"Yeah, well, the way she treated Uncle is considered normal in my family," I said bitterly.

I would have never said that before, but now I knew my grandfather had wanted me killed. My father would have killed me, and instead killed my grandfather, his own father, because Mother somehow managed to change his mind. Azula had tried to kill me in early spring on her ship. The only family members who hadn't tried to kill me were Mother, Uncle, and Lu Ten.

After what I said, there was a huge silence.

"Well, that was a mood killer," earth girl said, eyebrows disappearing behind her fringe.

I shrugged. "You asked."

"I didn't think you would retell it so… depressively," she defended herself lightly, almost sounding nonchalantly.

As no one said something, I took the time to finally eat something of my stew. It was already cold, and I quickly warmed the bowl a bit with firebending, before digging in. My stomach was a nervous knot, but the warm broth felt good and soothing.

Swallowing, I slowly looked up to the waterbender girl. She was still glaring at me. I tried to smile. "Thanks for the stew. It's delicious."

Instead of saying 'You're welcome', she snorted, looked at the ground and grumbled something unintelligibly. I understood "palace" and "spoiled".

It was pretty difficult for me to remain calm now. Okay, well, I've eaten better at the palace, but only at gatherings or some events. Otherwise, there had only been chi-enhancing food, fire-growing food, protein-building food, all the shit to make me a strong, powerful firebender, since it was clear that I could never become that on my own accord.

And yes, I had been surrounded by luxury, but I very well could appreciate a simple stew! I knew how to appreciate the small and simple things in life, and she had no right to imply I couldn't! She didn't even know me!

"Yeah, Katara. Thanks," the Avatar added, and she smiled shortly at him, although it didn't seem real.

All of the others began murmuring thanks, too.

"So, er…" I began. "You're name is Kata… ra?"

She looked up at me, her eyes not narrow anymore, but instead she looked disgusted now. But she nodded. "Yes. Ka-ta-ra."

I tried not to feel insulted at the way she pronounced it, as if I were some seven-year-old kid not able to understand her, so I simply nodded, pulling my lips into a smile.

"And yours?" I turned towards the Avatar. "Is it Aan?"

"Aang, actually," he laughed.

"Okay. Aang."

Before I could ask anyone else, they all just threw their names into the round, and I couldn't understand one thing.

"Urgh! Make it one by one!" the water… Katara scolded.

"The name's Sokka."

That seemed easily enough to pronounce.

"Toph." That was hardly difficult.

"I'm Teo," the boy in the wheelchair said, almost shyly, and he didn't even look at me.

The tiny boy with the helmet simply stared at me, not saying anything at all.

"This is Duke," the boy with the moustache said, gesturing at the younger one, who suddenly bristled, turned around and threw his arms up.

"How often do I have to say it? It's _THE _Duke!" he shouted.

I raised an eyebrow. Yeah, just like Smellerbee and Longshot had been real names. Or Kilara's La. Why did normal Earth Kingdom people like to give themselves new names all the time?

"And I'm Haru," the moustache boy said, his look levelled.

I nodded, trying to look thankful and not overly annoyed. I just hoped I would be able to remember all their names.

"So, Zuko, do you have a favourite colour?" Aang asked with large eyes and raised eyebrows.

"Why are you asking him that?" Katara asked with small eyes.

I bit my teeth together. She really started annoying me.

"It's red, obviously," she went on, gesturing at me.

I looked down on myself, seeing my red and gold clothes. Did that mean her favourite colour was blue? I was just wearing this, because there simply weren't any other clothes one could get in the Fire Nation.

"It's green, actually," I said. "Or turquoise."

"Really?" Aang asked, looking interested.

I shrugged.

"Why green?" Sokka asked, his voice sounding suspicious.

I took an annoyed breath and looked at him. "Why not?"

"Well, it's an Earth Kingdom colour," Sokka went on, his hand gesticulating at the three boys I still didn't know about why on Earth they were here.

"It's the colour of grass and leaves, and they grow in the Fire Nation, too. It can be my favourite colour without me wearing it," I snapped at him, turning my upper body in his direction.

"I was just saying." With a nonchalant expression, he raised his hands and leaned a bit back.

"Now, Zuko. Would you please enlighten us as to why you changed from chasing us around the world to suddenly wanting to help us and defeat your own nation?" Katara asked in a clipping way. "Cause I can honestly still not understand how we even agreed on giving you a chance. You were nothing but horrible to us, after all." Her voice seemed just as hostile as earlier.

"Katara!" Aang shouted, seemingly shocked.

I cleared my throat. "No, it's fine. It's just normal you want to know that." Pressing my lips together, I turned to look at all of them one after one.

Aang looked hopeful, his eyes so strangely big. He reminded me a lot of Ty Lee, and all the others looked very sceptical. Except for Toph, who was smirking again.

The nervous knots in my stomach became stronger, as I was taking a deep breath. Telling them about my reasons was a lot. It felt like talking about my feelings, or my thoughts, and I've always received stupid answers from people. Azula had always laughed at me, Mai hadn't seemed interested, Ty Lee had been a bit too optimistic, Kilara had accepted them as a part of me, and therefore hadn't wanted to do anything with me anymore, and Uncle had instead tried to press his ideas on me.

But when I thought about it, Ty Lee had seemed too optimistic to me back then, but still, here I was, having challenged my father, betrayed my nation, and left everything that I knew, because of my morals. Maybe I should have listened to her earlier.

And I also knew Kilara had tried to focus on the good side of my thoughts and feelings, the very ones which had led me to this moment. And now that I was on the good side, my struggles were maybe easier to understand.

Now I regretted betraying Uncle in Ba Sing Se even more. I could have spared him the weeks in prison, and we could have been on this side all this time. If it was destined that I would end up on this side, why couldn't I have chosen it earlier? Kilara probably wouldn't hate me. Sure, I wouldn't have got together with Mai, but Uncle was more important than her.

"Er, well, like I said, I was raised thinking the Fire Nation was the best nation in the world. I looked down on all the other nations, and I wanted to become a war hero like my cousin. But that's easy for a child to think. Well, honestly, there have been many times, many instances, when I noticed how… evil my father is, but he's still my father. I didn't want to think that about him. He more or less ordered me to catch you," I turned my gaze to Aang, who was listening attentively. I had no intention of telling them about the exact circumstances of my banishment. "And as his son, of course I wanted to be the one to present you to him, and not let anyone get in my way. Like Zhao, for example. It would have been incredibly shameful and humiliating. But… after the Siege of the North my father needed someone to blame for our failure, and blamed my uncle and me. We were declared traitors and then lived as refugees in the Earth Kingdom after that. That was… a humble experience."

"Well, when you have to catch your food and dress all alone, that's of course incredibly difficult for a prince," Katara scoffed, rolling her eyes.

I frowned at her, but before I could reply something, Toph opened her mouth.

"He's right. Growing up being all pampered, surrounded by servants all the time… You just don't have to learn these things, Katara. I only learned how to hunt through earthbending, because I always _knew_ I would run away one day."

"You can do that?" the guy with the moustache asked.

Toph nodded absentmindedly, before waving a hand in his direction, her gaze returning to me. "Yeah, hush now. I want to keep listening."

"You were brought up in a place with servants?" I asked incredulously. I didn't want to sound offending, but the girl had dirt in her face, on her hands, and on her feet. Which were bare and still red from me burning them.

"No getting out of the spotlight for you. Please continue," she answered with a grin.

I twisted my mouth in annoyance, but complied. "Alright. Well, I basically learned that everything I've been taught in the palace isn't true. We are not superior, Earth Kingdom people aren't barbaric, and the war is not glorious. It's horrendous, and it's only hurting and killing innocent people. Earth Kingdom, Water Tribe people, and even Fire Nation people. My people die in this war, too, and although they think they died for a noble cause, they only died for lies, and no noble cause could bring their relatives and friends enough solace for their senseless deaths." I took a deep breath, feeling uncomfortable at mentioning this, but I wouldn't feel well at leaving it out. "Not to mention what my great-grandfather did to the Air Nomads." I turned around to look at Aang. "I grew up believing you had an army that posed a threat to the whole world, and that's why we attacked you. But this was a lie, and there couldn't ever be a good reason for genocide. It is unforgiveable, but it was still my family starting all this. After… Ba Sing Se, I went back home, and I realised how wrong everything was." I shook my head. "I don't want to become like them. Like Zhao or my father. And I also feel responsible for my family's wrongdoings to this world. What I said earlier is true. I want to help you to restore balance to the world. I wish that one day the Fire Nation can be the noble nation it once was, and that people stop hating and fearing us," I ended my little speech.

Aang gave me a little smile, which almost seemed sad. "I'm sure this time will come back. Now that we have you on our side."

_**Kilara**_

One meal consisting of old rice porridge and dirty water. I had been forced to kneel and slobber at my food like a dog, since I couldn't move my arms.

My stomach was hurting, clenching with hunger. I had no idea how much time had passed, but the guards in front of my cell had changed three times already, so I assumed it was already more than a day.

Metal footsteps sounded outside, as they changed shifts again. A plate of food was shoved into my cell through the hatch in the door, as the new guards positioned themselves in front of my cell.

I slowly and cautiously stood, sliding up the wall, and then limped over to the door, holding myself upright on the wall with my left shoulder.

I kicked at the door with my injured leg, which was strange, since I could only use the muscles in my thigh, and looked through the small window. "Do you know what happened to the rest of the Earth Kingdom rebellion?" I rasped. I had just drank some water and healed a bit of my vocal folds, but I didn't get more out, and it hurt again. But I had been too desperate to know. I had been in here for over a day, and I felt like I couldn't survive any longer without knowing what had happened to my brother!

Normally, I needed my hands to heal, but while drinking the water, I had discovered the chi path between my hands in my throat within me. Leading my chi, while swallowing tiny gulps of water had actually helped. I felt like I had discovered a new bending secret.

"Killed and imprisoned," an arrogant voice sounded, and I knew he was smiling.

Although my body felt rigid with shock, I couldn't help myself. What an asshole, I thought. _Really? You imprison killed people? Isn't that a little over the top?_, I thought. Oh, what would I give for telepathic skills right now! But I couldn't even force another word out of my throat, since it bobbed with pain.

A deep, raspy voice from the other side hissed at her colleague "Don't tell her anything."

I blinked in surprise, as I noticed the speaker was a woman. Female guards? Although I theoretically knew women in the Fire Nation were treated equally to men, it was still strange to see it with my own eyes.

When I had been in the Fire Nation last winter, I hadn't seen any guards at all, but had simply noticed how much more frank the women were. They had said what they had thought, their laughs hadn't been hidden, and they hadn't given a shit to what others would think of them.

"Shut up," the man growled, and then huffed. "Are you even sure that's a girl in there? Looks like a scarecrow to me."

"I'd like to see you survive those injuries, and then lead a rebellion, and not being able to wash yourself in a prison," the woman scoffed.

The man hummed, almost thoughtfully. "I think I would look pretty cool with her scars. Scary, even."

I rolled my eyes.

There was a flash of movement before the window and a smack, as if skin had met skin.

"Don't say that, stupid," the woman hissed.

Twisting my mouth, I leaned my forehead on the door, trying to sort through my thoughts.

I didn't get any information from these idiots! Well, how could I, if I couldn't speak? I couldn't lure them, I couldn't coax them, and I couldn't even convince them! All of my weapons were gone! I felt completely helpless. Using bloodbending was still my last resort, and I didn't think bloodbending them would make them tell me anything.

The woman sighed deeply. "Listen, girl. We barely know anything about this whole ordeal. We are prison guards and stay in the prison. We didn't even know there was a rebellion, until you were brought here. The others aren't here. Probably in less safe prisons."

Turning around to lean my back against the door, I stared off into the darkness of my new four walls. There was a possibility for Nanuk and Denzai to be alive. As long as it was possible…

"Leaders have a worth. I wouldn't be surprised, if I found out all the others were brought into cells just to be killed. Don't pretend you're concerned about them, crow. It was all their own choice, after all," the man almost spat tauntingly, before snickering to himself.

My lip started to tremble from his harsh words. My hands curled to fists, as I tried not to give myself over to crying. I wouldn't cry in front of them.

But he was right. It had been our choice. We had been so full of ideas, excitement, and hope, we hadn't seen this possibility for our future path.

And if I was honest with myself, I knew it wouldn't have happened like this, if we just hadn't attacked so early. They couldn't let their precious Black Sunday pass, and look what it's done to us! If we had directly done everything according to my plan, then there would be no blood clinging to my hands now. My brother and best friend would still be safe.

But anger wouldn't get me anywhere. As much as I was angry at the former members of the military of the Earth Kingdom, I was just as angry at myself. For not stopping them from their stupid plan, which would have never worked. Plans which aren't planned thoroughly enough, where not every loose end is tied up and everyone's loyalty checked thrice, do not work.

And that's why we had been betrayed. There had been so many of us, and we couldn't supervise all of them. Someone had talked.

Maybe it had been Takiro to help Joo Dee. But he'd said he had met her before she became a Joo Dee. So my guess was actually that he had joined the rebellion to free her. To get back her old self.

Either way, someone had turned traitor, and they were probably being comfortable right now. Not caring about all the suffering they had caused.

I still had a bad conscience about all of it. If I hadn't started anything…

Sliding down the door, I sat and bent my legs, putting my head on my knees. But maybe my sacrifice had done something. Maybe showing them what I could do hadn't made everything become worse. The guard said they didn't know anything. They could very well just hear propaganda, and they probably hadn't been told everything so as not to cause distress at the prison.

oOo

**Two Days Ago, Black Sunday**

"_It was her!" A loud, shrill voice sounded through the room, and I searched for the source. _

_Behind the Dai Li agents, out of the circle they had drawn around us, stood Meixiang. _

_She walked up to Joo Dee and then very clearly pointed at me. "The girl with the scars and short hair on the ostrich horse. She was the one planning everything! She made them follow her, and she alone is responsible for all their actions!" _

_Joo Dee's lips curled in an ugly way, as she regarded me. _

_I held myself still, and tried to look afraid and angry with Meixiang. But I simply felt utterly grateful to her. _

"_That… thing _made _all of you follow her? How very preposterous," Joo Dee laughed. "That person can't even hold herself on two legs!" She turned towards Meixiang with a scowl. "Don't lie at me, you filthy lower ring scum!"_

_Meixiang's eyes widened with fear, as she desperately sought my gaze. "But I'm telling you the truth!"_

"_Don't make me laugh!" Joo Dee snapped. "Does that girl look powerful to you? That's a child, and a crippled one, too. She's worthless, just like you!" _

_If I could speak, I would shout "Worthless? Who are you calling worthless?" and then shock her to her core with my bending. But instead I simply contorted my face to an angry expression, as I bared my teeth in anger. Then I reached out with my mind, feeling Joo Dee's water in her body, feeling the blood. _

_I smirked, as I tightened my hold, making her slump down. She fell to her knees, her upper body straight, and her eyes were huge, as she stared at the ceiling. _

_I tried not to look at all the others, as I did what I had promised my mother never to do. I showed bloodbending to the public. I showed that I was a bloodbender. But it was necessary. If I could pull off a big enough show, maybe the Fire Nation would believe all of the rebellion had been under my control. Wishing that the Fire Nation would let everyone go was probably too much, but it might certainly milden their punishment. If they're smart enough not to object me, that is. _

_Joo Dee was fighting for air, clutching at her throat, as I widened her carotid just so much that it pressed on her windpipe, then I thrust an arm forward towards Meixiang. I had to make a good show. I had to look believable, crazy, manic even. So I extinguished my hands, tensing my arm muscles and curling my fingers. I didn't need to make those moves with bloodbending since quite a few years anymore, but it looked scarier to people who didn't know what I was doing. Meixiang's body went rigid, twisting unnaturally, and I laughed soundlessly like an evil sociopath. I made the blood around her mouth move, and I hoped she would get the sign. _

"_I control them," she said in a forced voice. She jerked her head back, gasping for air, before suddenly she stood straight, her eyes looking at nothing in particular. "I can control everyone here! They are all under my control, and I order their moves!" While she talked, I moved my hands a bit more in her direction, making it look like I was laying these words into her mouth. Next, I was making a Dai Li agent to Joo Dee's right fall down, after pulling a little at his brain. _

_I breathed deeply. Bloodbending was scary. Being in people's bodies was scary, and at the same time it made me feel so damn powerful. _

_Again, I started laughing, before I made every one of our rebellion group bow down. I didn't want them to see any more of my acted manic side. I didn't want them to try and help me, or stop me, as I was doing all of this only for them. _

"_Seize her!" A Dai Li agent shouted. _

"_Get her arms under control!" another one screamed. _

_It was almost funny seeing them falling out of their routine movements, seeing them attack individually, not as a unit. They were probably too shaken by what I was doing. Not that I could blame them. _

_I held the rebels down, trying not to pay attention to Nanuk's body, who tried to get out of my grasp with everything he had, but only hurt himself. Shortly, I allowed myself to lessen my grip on him, and instead made the water in his body move in a reassuring, comforting way. He gasped. _

_I incapacitated five more Dai Li agents, but I couldn't keep hold of the rebels, and defeat a lot more of the agents. Besides, I wanted the Fire Nation to think they knew my limit. There was no way we could still win this. Deep sea, I didn't even think the rebels still wanted to fight with me, after what I'd shown them. So I simply tried to do the best I could. I helped them. _

_Behind me, I felt a Dai Li agent make a rock hand coming my way. I couldn't feel the rock, but it was still weird knowing I would be knocked out at any moment, knowing it would come, and hurt, and probably cause damage to my brain, and hopefully I would wake up soon again, and the rock wasn't thrown with enough force to kill me. _

_I had already released Joo Dee, who was now crying: "NO! Keep her alive, you twats!" Her voice faded, as well as the people from my vision, when I got hit in the back of my head. Everything faded. I felt myself slumping forward, as I thought that if I ever would make it out of this, I hoped Nanuk wouldn't be too cross at me. _

oOo

**Three Days Ago, One Day Before Black Sunday**

_Meixiang,_

_I wrote this to you, because I can't speak. Obviously, but also because I trust you to do everything you can to keep your brother and sister-in-law out of this. _

_I am asking you to do a small thing for me, in case everything fails. From the prison records that Takiro managed to get, I have observed that the Fire Nation always separates the leaders from the followers. The leaders are deemed the most dangerous and get the worst treatment. _

_If something goes wrong, they will ask who our leader is. Say it's me. _

_I'm not being arrogant, I know I'm not a leader, and I wouldn't know if we actually have a leader, but if it wasn't for me, all of this wouldn't happen. Cuiling wanted to stay out of it to protect you and Liang, and I dragged her into all this. If I wouldn't have appeared on your doorstep, if I wouldn't have entered The Armadillo Lion, none of this would have happened. You're right. A lot of this is my fault. But I never wanted it to turn into this. My plan was to wait, observe and learn about our enemy. I wouldn't have wanted to rush things like this, but here we are now. _

_If you want to save your family and the majority of the rebellion, because I really think all of this is doomed, then say I am the leader. Say I am responsible, and I made you all do that. I forced you. I know I may not look like a lot, and I'm not socially powerful enough to do something like this, but if someone will ask how on Earth I could make so many people do something, I will provide proof. When you see the proof, mimic it, and then say as if you were me: "I control them. I can control everyone here! They are all under my control, and I order their moves!" It sounds weird, but please! Please memorise this. It will make sense, I promise. Although I sincerely hope, it won't have to come to this. _

_If something goes wrong, I will behave oddly tomorrow. If our plan fails, please do what I just told you. With a little luck, it will save many of us. _

_And please tell my brother I love him, and that he couldn't have stopped me. He should live a happy life. Please do that, too. _

_Take care tomorrow, _

_Liwei _

_**Zuko**_

During dinner, I had to answer a few more questions. I wasn't comfortable with all of them, as this group didn't seem to have a respect for privacy or sense for sensitivity.

What they seemed to be really curious about, though, was how I could possibly have a sense of good in the world, whereas the rest of my family was so super evil. I didn't want to talk about Mother or Uncle, so I merely frowned and said 'That's complicated'. After that phrase didn't work any longer, I resulted to 'That's a long story'. I guess they got the hint later, as the questions then returned to "What's your favourite food?", "Did you grow up without dancing, too?", "What's your favourite bending move and can you teach it to me?".

"You haven't even started on firebending yet," I responded in a snapping way, pinching the bridge of my nose. This was so exhausting. Replying to all these questions, trying to keep being nice and not to snap at younger children.

Why couldn't they leave me alone?

I grit my teeth and flexed my hands, staring at my lap, as I tried not to show them my bad mood.

"Okay guys, I think we've pumped Zuko enough," Toph said then, and I felt eternally grateful towards her. She smirked at me in a knowing way.

Aang pouted (he actually pouted! He was the Avatar! Why the magma did he pout?) for a few seconds, before sighing deeply. "Okaaaayyy…"

Conversation turned towards earthbending, as Toph criticised Aang's style, which made Aang scowl at her. Haru interjected at some time that he would love to practise with the two of them, and then they tried to make a plan for tomorrow's bending lessons, when Sokka piped up that he made all the plans, and that there was no lesson planning without him.

Leaning back, having a full stomach, having survived the interview, and the urge to shout at everyone, I let a small smile dance on my lips. Okay, I might have had trouble in the beginning with being accepted into the group, but it had worked out in the end. Honestly, when had a plan of mine ever reached its goal? It felt like every plan I've had in my entire life just ended in dead ends, or left me being defeated and with empty hands. But not now. I've made a change, and maybe my whole life would suddenly turn around, maybe I would have some luck for the first time!

As I watched Katara going round the fireplace, gathering everyone's bowls and moving them over to the fountain, I found myself uncharacteristically confident and ready to test my theory. Maybe it would also not be so hard to make her trust me. She was the most reluctant to trust me of the close group around Aang, and after what she had said earlier in my room, I felt like I knew what her motivation was.

There had been a connection between us in Ba Sing Se. We had comforted each other, and I had briefly thought that she wasn't as different from me as I had always thought. She had seemed like she genuinely cared, and for some moment I had let myself hope she could really heal me. But I had been stupid, and chosen more intoxication from the royal court than finally choosing healing. Although I thought that she had already used the water from the spirit oasis by now.

No one got up to help Katara, so I thought I could do it. Surely, she wouldn't mind a little help.

I got up and walked over to her. She curiously lifted her head to look at me when she seemed to notice someone standing behind her, but her features quickly turned into a scowl, as she noticed it was me.

"What do you want?" she hissed.

I shouldn't have been surprised by the venom in her voice. She had made it clear enough that she didn't trust me and didn't like me, but I was still taken by surprise.

Suddenly, my confidence shattered. Yeah, as if now somehow magically everything in my life was going to be easy! How could I have thought?

"I… erm… Well, I saw you getting ready to wash the dishes, and erm… No one else is here, so I thought I could offer you… my help?" _Yay, Zuko! That's exactly how you're not being awkward!_

For a moment she looked at me with wide, incredible eyes, before they quickly narrowed again. "No, thanks!" Briskly, she turned around, bending the water almost violently against the bowls.

"You need any dish soap?" I asked, leaning over her shoulder.

She flinched, turned around and rose to her feet, now standing directly in front of me. "I said I don't need your help! Leave me alone!"

I felt my jaw tighten, and my hands curled to fists. _Breathe, Zuko, breathe._ _You want these people to like you. Be kind and don't shout! _"Fine," I said through clenched teeth, before taking a deep, calming breath. Oh man, that really helped. My anger was gone. I raised one eyebrow and self-consciously scratched my head. "Alright, but, erm… if you need help sometime, tell me."

Not wanting to risk anything more, I turned around and walked back to the others. Teo was telling them a story, or something that once happened to him (I didn't really listen), but everyone had happy expressions on their faces and laughed at the right moments.

Campfires with Azula and her friends had never been like this.

"Hey, Zuko, I'm tired," Toph interrupted Teo loudly so that everyone could hear.

I blinked at her, then raised my eyebrows. "And…?"

"Well, bring me to bed!" she demanded in a whiny voice.

My eyes widened, as I started feeling panic rushing through me. Oh no. This was not what I had signed up for! I was going to be an ally and firebending teacher, not a babysitter! But then again, how old were these kids? Even Aang still looked very young, although even I could see he had grown more mature since I had met him – imprisoned him.

I suspected I was one of the oldest, but maybe Haru was older, so did that mean it was our duty to take care of the younger ones?

"Er… do you guys… usually care for the younger ones in your group?" I asked cautiously.

Sokka immediately barked a laugh, as Toph shouted as indignant "What?" It was very high pitched and almost destroyed my auditory sense.

Aang chuckled into his hand.

The Duke wasn't so excited at the thought of someone caring for him, as he stared at me in a way that I think was supposed to be menacing. But really, he just looked like a sulking kid.

"You," Toph stuck an accusing finger in my direction, "have to carry me, because you burnt my feet, pyromaniac!"

I flinched hardly. Yeah, I had forgotten that I had to carry her… "I'm not a pyromaniac!" I shouted back.

She rolled her eyed. "Obviously." She then stretched her arms out in the air, as if she was a little child that wanted to be picked up. "Now, hurry up, pyromaniac," she said in a calmer tone.

I frowned, as I noticed that she didn't really mean what she called me, but then why call me it at all? Scowling, I got up and walked around the campfire. As she still sat there like a toddler, I couldn't help but smirk. "You know, when I was two," I began as I bent down to pick her up, "I also always wanted to be picked up." I already held her tight and secure in my arms, as she tried to hit me.

She settled to sticking her tongue out at me and scowling instead.

I smirked. "You have a room here somewhere?"

"Yeah. It's down the left corridor, second door. This way, I'm furthest away from all of you morons," she said sulkily, nestling more into my arms, but deepening her pout.

She was really, really tiny, and I wondered how much younger than Aang she was. And how fucked up the world was to drag children as young as her into war.

My gaze darted over her eyes. "Were you born blind?"

"Yes."

I let out a deep breath. Well, at least, this one didn't carry any visible damage from the Fire Nation. I was positive that Teo, however, wasn't born without the ability to walk.

When I entered her room, I saw that there was no blanket on her bed. Not even a mattress! It was just a stone pallet.

"Should I get you a blanket?" I asked, already mentally going through my stuff.

"No."

"But…"

"I like sleeping on stone, okay?"

I raised my eyebrows at the pouty little girl in my arms, but obliged, sitting her down on the "bed".

"Do you need something else? A glass of water maybe?"

"Urgh!" she groaned, before bending some sort of stone pillow under her head and turning around, showing me her backside. "You're worse than Katara," she mumbled. "And I also don't need a lullaby or good night story, Dad!" she scoffed.

I glared at her. "I'm not… I'm not like Katara, I'm just trying to make sure you're comfortable!"

"And that's exactly what Katara does! She's trying to be everyone's mum, and I don't need a wannabe dad, too!" She said it with a "So, there" tone.

"Okay, well, I feel bad for burning your feet. So I'm not allowed to make sure you're fine?"

Toph groaned loudly again. "Just be my ostrich-horse, but don't ask me how I am. And besides, you're new. You don't know Katara, so you don't know if you are like her or not. Apropos being new," she added in a lighter voice, suddenly pointing her finger at me. "You will need to wait to choose a holiday! It's my turn next," she all but growled.

With crossed arms, I stared at her back, my eyes still slightly narrowed, but in a way more resigned kind of way. I didn't know what to say to that, but I felt like I had to say something, or she would win this argument. Why couldn't she see my point? She was extremely small and young, and how was it so bad to want to make sure someone was okay? I thought that was what the good guys were supposed to do.

"Don't try so hard, Zuko. You've only got to convince Katara. I know your wish to help us is genuine." Her voice was quieter and softer, and her words took all the tension from my shoulders.

Yes, maybe I was just trying too hard.

"Okay," I sighed. "Good night."

"Good night."

Leaving her room, I closed the door, before making my way back to the campfire. During my small argument with Toph, Teo, Haru, and the Duke had all left, and now it was down to Aang, Sokka, and Katara who all sat closely together, talking in hushed voices.

I didn't want to eavesdrop, so I made my steps extra loud and cleared my throat.

"Aang? Can I talk to you for a sec?"

Katara glared at me. "Well, actually we were…"

"Sure, Zuko!" Aang jumped gracefully to his feet, and I thought he had to use his bending in order to jump like that.

"Aang, we were just…," Katara started again, now sounding worried.

"It'll be okay, Katara," Aang reassured her, before walking towards me.

I didn't feel great, thinking Aang had to reassure his friends everything was going to be okay, when he was going to talk to me. Hopefully, they would all soon notice that I was no threat.

Aang stopped in front of me, leaning forward in an expecting manner. "Soooo?"

"We'll start your firebending lessons tomorrow morning. Be up at sunrise and out here. We'll practise until lunch, then we will resume what we've done before lunch."

Aang's face fell. "Sunrise? But we're in the northern hemisphere, and it's summer! Have you any idea how early that is?!" he whined.

I crossed my arms and raised an eyebrow. "Since you once had friends from the Fire Nation, I guess you know exactly that I can pretty well imagine how early that is."

A sheepish smile spread on his lips. "Oh yeah. You wake up then every day, right?"

I nodded. "It's the best time to start firebending practise, and the best way to make a firebender out of you." I cocked my head to the side, studying him. "I doubt you'd ever become a typical firebender, but maybe like my Uncle. Those are the better ones, anyway."

"OH! I like your uncle. He's nice. Is he doing well?" Aang asked innocently.

My brow twitched. It wasn't Aang's fault that I had no idea how Uncle was, since I had missed him by a few minutes at the prison.

"Probably. He can take care of himself," I said elusively, looking off at a pillar that I had kicked against once.

oOo

**Three Years Ago**

"_There is nothing!" I yelled, storming out of the hundredth corridor I had searched. And really, I had been quiet in there, stealthy. If someone was hiding in the Air Temple, they were really good, or maybe I was still too loud. _

_But I had reined in my frustration for almost two weeks, searching that stupid rock construction, and I had never been loud. Never made a sound. _

_So I felt like I had earned the right to do it now. _

"_The whole shit temple is empty!" My arms gesticulated in a frustrated manner. "No one left anything! There aren't even bodies or skeletons! Father always said there were bodies and skeletons!"_

_Uncle chuckled. "Well, I have to say, my brother always presented his journeys as far more exciting as they actually were."_

"_This is not funny, Uncle!" I snapped. "Nothing found means no trace of airbenders, no trace of airbenders means no Avatar!" With the last words, I violently kicked at a stone pillar next to me, but only hurt my own foot. I snarled at the stupid pillar. _

"_Now, now, Nephew. This is only one temple. There are still three others left," Uncle made a dramatic hand gesture to show me the size of the world. "We can find him there, and if he's not there, we will search the most remote locations on Earth, just as you said." He got up from his place opposite his tea pot and walked over to me. "Let's just move on to the Northern Temple. One step at a time, Prince Zuko. A true leader must know how to be patient, and I have no doubt that you were always meant to become a great leader one day."_

_I felt my anger melt away at his words, and I looked over at him, a smile almost tugging at my lips. "You really think so, Uncle?"_

"_Of course, Nephew. After all, you're already taller than me!" He laughed at his own stupid joke, but I couldn't find it in me to remain mad, so I instead rolled my eyes, but moved towards the exit of the temple. Now it was time to search the Northern Air Temple. _

oOo

I bit down on my lower lip, thinking about how Uncle had always known how to make me feel better.

"Zuko?" Aang asked, still staring at me with raised eyebrows.

I blinked at him, then narrowed my eyes. "Sunrise. Here! Not a second later, or I'll get you myself!" I barked, before turning around and walking towards my room.

"Uuurrrggghhh!" I could hear Aang groan loudly, as he walked back to his friends. "I have to get up at sunrise!" he cried out.

"See, I'm right. Zuko's still evil," Katara said smugly, but there was a tone in her voice that made it obvious even to me that this was a joke.

Sokka chuckled, and then probably turned towards Aang. "My thoughts are with you, Aang."

"Thanks, Sokka," Aang sighed sadly.

I bit down on my lower lip, as I tried not to smile at their conversation, but only hearing it was enough nice. It felt so… warm and friendly.

Grimacing at my thoughts, I quickly walked on to my room.

* * *

_Let me know what you think! I love reading your thoughts and comments!:) _

_Yay, we finally had Aang, Katara, and Sokka! Wuuuhooooo! Well, we had Toph, too, but she appeared already in chapter two. Writing the gaang is always the most difficult thing to do, and I really try to keep them in character. How did I do?_

_Showing the gaang having their first dinner with Zuko was a very important thing for me to do. I never understood how easily Zuko was accepted into their group, and The Western Air Temple was such an awkward episode. Sure, Toph says he isn't lying, but they don't know him, and he's Azula's brother, and Toph couldn't say if Azula was lying, so there is no guarantee to Zuko's sincerity. I wanted to clear things a bit for all of them, also because I can't imagine meddling Katara and curious Sokka not wanting to know the exact details about why Zuko wants to change sides. Trying to get to know him better at the first evening seems very logical and normal to me, instead of just interacting with him whenever necessary, but never really getting to know him until the field trips. The dinner should still be a bit awkward, but also show how the balance of the group changes and how everyone has their own way of trying to accept Zuko. How did you imagine Zuko's first dinner with the gaang? _

_So, I hope the flashbacks of Kira's were making sense. The guards in front of her cell are not good, or important ones, as the Dai Li was rather afraid of her powers, but they didn't tell anyone as to not to cause a panic. Kira's powers seem interesting to Joo Dee or the Fire Nation, that's why Kira is still alive. You'll have to wait to find out what happened to the rebellion in a later chapter. So, Kira had a bad feeling about Black Sunday, and she was right (of course), but had a back-up plan. A chaotic, not precise back-up plan, but she just didn't have enough time for planning. Meixiang turned out to be an accomplice of Kira's, no traitor, and whoever the traitor really is... Who knows? There were hundreds of people being part of this movement, and one of them was probably too afraid, or liked the Fire Nation too much, since they seemed more honest than the Earth Kingdom government to them. You can just pick something. I won't ever give you a name or show the person who betrayed them, if it was only one, that is. That's the thing about this rushed rebellion. They didn't have time to check everyone's loyalties thrice, just like Kira thought. I know, having someone close to the protagonist betray them is always more dramatic, but I thought that didn't fit well in here. Meixiang didn't want to be part of the rebellion, but she also knew she couldn't betray them, as her brother and sister-in-law would then get into trouble for housing meetings of the rebellion and be convinced members of it. That's why I didn't make her be the traitor, although this was my intention at first. In my mind, it was always some elderly, terrified person, who is a downright asshole. Like that old man who is saved by Haru, and then gets his life saver imprisoned. Imagine someone with that personality as out traitor here. What do you guys think of this?  
_

_I am part of those people who are convinced that firebenders rise with the sun. They feel the sun's energy when it peeks over the horizon, and are unable to fall asleep again. I always thought it wasn't really a canon thought, as there are a lot of ways to interpret Zuko's: "You rise with the moon. And I rise with the sun." It could also only refer to how their bending powers strengthen. But I like the idea of waterbenders feeling more alive under the full moon or at night, and firebenders during the day. Besides, being an early riser fits Zuko's personality in my opinion. He's such a driven person, who struggles to relax and to do nothing at all that I think he can't wait to get up in the morning to just finally do something. Zuko has a lot of energy, and only manages to sleep, because the sun takes his energy with it. That's how I see him. In our world, he would be a complete workaholic, who does way too much for his family, never thinks about himself, and barely gets any sleep. Good candidate for a burn-out. Hm, maybe I'll add that later, when he'll be Fire Lord and overworks. _

_And Aang isn't exciting about getting up so early, because he's not excited about learning firebending. Aang's afraid of it and reluctant to try. He has blocked that ability of himself and has yet to unlock it by meeting the dragons. Also, in The Boiling Rock, Aang wants to go back to sleep after having read Sokka's and Zuko's message explaining they had left to go fishing. Zuko wrote that Aang should do twenty sets of fire fists and ten hot squats every time a badger frog croaks, and Aang scowls when he hears a badger frog croak and knows he cannot go back to sleep. And it's already mid morning then! So I think that Aang is normally not a morning person, if there is no reson for him to be excited over something. _

**_Maybe light spoilers to the plot:_**

_Zuko's impression of Sokka is weird, I know. Sokka can be a goofball, but he's also a leader, and definitely the person Zuko can understand the easiest of the group. Except for weird names, noises, or enacting things. And Zuko will get to see those sides of Sokka, too, don't you worry. I want Sokka to make the same thing at Zuko after the Boiling Rock episode that he did at Aang after the fight against the Fire Lord. Like: "Oh, Zuko, that was brilliant! You were all like huwaho, and woosh, and baddah, and then you jumped like woooooooaaaaaaaam, and your sister was more like ehhhh, ehhhh, wehhhh..." while wildly flinging his arms, and that's when Zuko will notice that Sokka is a little nuts. _

_But I will not retell all the following episodes, only write about parts happening between them or during them, which weren't in the series, and that I had come up with, just like I have done until now with two tiny exceptions. I will definitely include some comics from Avatar The Lost Adventures, like the Sword Bending Fight, and Sokka's nonbender club. I would just love writing about Zuko's thoughts during these short comics. It will be something fun, while we have Kira in a more depressing environment. I don't know if I will let Aang tell Zuko all about the first time he and Kuzon had seen a dragon, as I found that comic, apart from Zuko growing frustarted, not that thrilling. And I also always imagined Kuzon to look different. I thought about some normal Fire Nation kid with pale skin and black hair, as Zuko was the only Fire Nation kid I had seen at the time Aang told him about Kuzon. Later, Kuzon was like a younger version of Wan with a rounder face in my head. But in the comics? More like Hawaiian Neville Longbottom from The Philosopher's Stone with Ron Weasley's personality. BUT appearances aren't important, it was just that my imagination provided me with a different image. I might also include something of the greatest earthbenders brawl, as Zuko and Katara acted like responsible parents again, and Zuko had this overdramatic heroism about himself that I found just too funny! _

**_Answers to reviews: _**

_To _uchihaNaruto247_: Thanks so much for your review!:D That was my thought, too. Nothing else but spirit water can fix it. The only problem is that Kira doesn't know about spirit water, and that she would never want to go to the Northern Water Tribe, as her mother had told her how horrible it was to live there. Plus, her family had outcast her mother, because she had shown them she had learned how to use waterbending for combat. So what to do for Kira? But no worries, I have a plan. Good, then the betrayal worked. Did you expect things to go wrong on the Day of Black Sun for Kira, too? Yeah, those deaths will weigh heavily on Kira, only in the future, though, as now she closes off these memories, her brain suppressing them in order not to make her fall into despair. She needs to stay strong, her mind sharp and focused if she wants to survive. That's why she focuses more on her anger right now than on any other emotion. Oh, there is a hell lot of drama for Kira in the future. The rest that comes is mostly psychological, and well, the physical sufferings of being imprisoned. All of it is mostly about being imprisoned and knowing that if she can't escape, Fire Lord Ozai will kill her. I was thinking about sending Kira to Boiling Rock, actually, since it would make sense. Suki is the leader of a group of warriors and was captured in the Earth Kingdom, but still transported to Boiling Rock. So I think it would make sense to do the same for Kira. But that would mean Zuko and her would meet, and there is no way he would leave without her, but that would be against canon, and so against my own rule for this fic. I'm thinking of transporting Kira to Boiling Rock, letting her meet Suki again, but be transported to the capital for her trial before Zuko and Sokka arrive. And then Suki could tell Sokka and Zuko about Kira, and Zuko would know who she's talking about, and this way, he would know what happened to her, wondering if Ozai will kill her or not. What do yout think about this? I'm still not sure if I will do it like that. And what did you think about the gaang moments?:) Thanks for your constant support! _


	24. Chapter 24

_Wow, okay, this has taken me long! I am so so sorry for this, but after having to do everything about uni with my laptop, I sometimes get sick of sitting in front of it, and yeah... It's worse through the home office. There is no real distinction between uni and fanfiction anymore, you know? It's all the same computer, all written at home...  
_

_In this chapter, we will have a comic from the collection of comics _Avatar: The Lost Adventures_, playing during Zuko's time at the Western Air Temple. The comic is called _Swordbending?.

_**WARNING: **Zuko will lose his temper, and there will be some f-bombs. _

_Enjoy reading! I hope you'll like it. Please let me know what you think.:)_

_I do not own Avatar The Last Airbender, nor its characters. _

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Four**

_**Zuko**_

After Aang and I came back from seeing the dragons and learning the secret of firebending, I felt incredibly better.

The fact that there had been a logical reason for me losing my firebending, and a real solution was one of the most comforting experiences I had ever made. When I noticed how my bending got weaker, I had wondered if my bad luck was back, or if it maybe never left. Honestly, then for once I wanted to do something good, these people needed me, and then I was letting them down, although I didn't want to? Worst thing that would have ever happened to me. Really.

I almost slumped with relief, after we got up on Appa again. I couldn't stop feeling deep inside of me, my fire stronger, warmer, and brighter than ever. Maybe it was that way because I was hundred percent sure I was doing the right thing. Because my motivations weren't all over the place, and because my morals weren't standing in the way of my goal.

The dragons hadn't only changed my perception on fire and my inner fire, it felt like a lot more. I felt way better in my own skin than I ever had before. The way my body felt was right for the first time. Being Zuko was okay. I was no bad firebender anymore, I was no bad Fire Nation person anymore, I was no bad prince anymore… I was Zuko, the Avatar's firebending teacher. And I had seen dragons.

If Aang wouldn't keep on babbling about how great and cool and awesome everything had been, I probably would think about it, too, all the time. Dragons! Holy dragons, dragons! Dragons, old, wise creatures, deeming me worthy of learning the secret of fire! Ha! Me! I couldn't stop my proud smile, as I watched Aang telling me of all the feelings he had experienced during the last twenty-four hours. At least, he wasn't still mad at me for touching the golden sun stone.

Next time someone would ask me what my favourite animal was, I would say dragons, although the person would think they were extinct, but I knew better now! My favourite animal so was a dragon! I was mesmerised by their violent and powerful beauty, their long bodies dancing in the air, gliding almost like fish, their scales glittering like the sun light on the ocean, and their heads even more magnificent than the golden dragon face in the throne room. Their faces had reminded me a little of a crocodile wolf with the fangs and scales. I hadn't known dragons had hair, but it had almost looked like the crest of a lion antelope.

We arrived back at the Western Air Temple around noon, and Aang immediately wanted to show everyone our new kata. I wasn't so keen on it, since it was supposed to be secret, but when Sokka started making fun of it, I lost it.

I got indignant at his disrespectfulness. How could he not see or understand the power behind the moves?

When Katara got me to tell them the kata's name was The Dancing Dragon, and everyone started laughing, I let them indulge shortly, before I took a deep breath. "Alright, you guys had enough fun. Now, leave. Aang and I need to practise."

"But we haven't done anything else for the last two days!" he objected.

I crossed my arms. "Oh, so you think sitting on Appa and discovering old ruins is firebending practice? I have found my drive, you aren't afraid of firebending anymore. Now, the real practice begins, Aang."

"Okay," he said with an exaggerated sigh.

"Good luck, Aang," Katara wished, before leaving, and the Duke waved at him, as all the others left, too. Except for Sokka.

He had this expression on his face, and although I only knew him for three days, I knew what he was going to say. He opened his mouth, but with two steps I was right in his face, grabbing his tunic. "Don't," I hissed.

He pouted, stepped back and straightened his shirt. "Alright, alright, I got it. Have fun…" He walked to the end of the platform. "…with your jerkbending, jerks." And then he ran.

"Urgh, fuck off, will you?" I shouted, feeling completely exhausted again. My arms tensed, before my eyes widened in horror. Shit, I'd just dropped the f-bomb. _How old was Aang?_

I immediately turned around, stiff as a board. "Erm… Well, don't say that."

Aang blinked at me, sitting on the ground, bending an air ball for Momo to play with. "Don't say what?"

Closing my eyes, I sighed in relief. I hadn't been quiet, but I hoped the other kids hadn't heard us. I had officially already failed in not losing my temper around little children.

"Never mind," I sighed. "Come on, stand up. We'll start with some breathing exercises."

Grimacing, he got up in a gust of wind, but joined me in a lotus position.

oOo

After our dragon adventure, all of us quickly got into some sort of routine.

I was always the first one to wake up, and like I had predicted, Aang was maybe able to firebend, but he was no firebender. He had absolutely no motivation to get up in the morning and he needed meditation to be able to feel the sun's energy in his body. It sometimes infuriated me how he would yawn during meditation. Worse was only when he called me hotman. That was like the uncoolest word in the whole Fire Nation, not even grandparents would use it! But Aang had been alive a hundred years ago, and so of course, he had picked up on that ridiculous word.

He slept in a room with Sokka, because there weren't enough rooms on the boys' side of the corridor, and no one wanted to sleep alone in another corridor or in another story even. Why boys and girls needed different corridors from each other was beyond me, though.

Sokka snored loudly, every morning, as I entered their room, and more often than not, a scroll full with some scrawl was lying on his stomach. Sometimes, he drooled, and sometimes he muttered things in his sleep.

Aang, on the other hand, almost always frowned in his sleep, and I wondered if he had nightmares, but since that was a delicate topic that he should really talk about to people he knew better than me, I reassured myself with the fact that I was waking him from them.

Aang was always reluctant to get up, and almost on an every second day basis, I had to drag him out of his bed and dump him into the fountain outside for him to wake up.

We would meditate, do breathing exercises, stretching exercises, and muscle exercises until breakfast.

Katara was always the only one making breakfast, and she looked more asleep than awake while doing it. Quite often, she only thought she had lit the fire, and walked away to get the pot. I would steal away from our meditation to light the fire then.

I think she saw me the fifth time I did that, because she wouldn't stop glaring at me all through breakfast. Although, she was always glaring, whenever she looked in my direction, but she tried to avoid that.

_I_ tried to avoid _her_ and not to give her a reason to slice me with her icicles.

This got impossible when she accused me of lighting her fire, as if it were some crime. I quickly said it wasn't me and that I was sure it was Aang who was practising his firebending, but then she only glared at me and emptied a bucket of water over the fire. The wood was completely soaked. She made me get new wood, and then I had to watch her how she used firestones to try and light the fire. It took her minutes. Of course, I offered my help then, but Katara seemed wary of my fire, so I let it be. I wondered if I had maybe only dreamt about the nice, caring waterbender down in the catacombs of Ba Sing Se. Katara was more like a fury than the girl who had offered to heal my scar.

In the afternoons, Aang, Haru, and Toph flew away on Appa to practise their earthbending in a place where no ruins could be damaged. They told us that place was only made of rock, no tree was anywhere close, but a river was flowing through the small valley. Katara joined them after getting frustrated with the small amount of water in the fountain.

When I heard that there was nothing that could catch fire, I wanted to come too, as I always needed to restrain the length of my fire balls, whips, and shots, and more often than not, some kid had come too close to stare at me. Mostly the Duke, accompanied by Teo.

The first time I had seen them there, I had to act fast to keep the fire from the move I was just practising from touching them. I dropped the fire and told them to leave.

Teo nodded, but they didn't leave.

"Boys, I can't practise when you're that close. My fire might hurt you."

Teo nodded again, but the Duke shook his head.

"I burnt Toph's feet," I said instead, trying to frighten them.

"But she's earthbending again," Teo pointed out, and I glared at him. His head shrank between his shoulders, while the Duke kept looking up at me, staring with a very neutral expression, but big eyes, not saying a word.

Groaning, I ran a hand down my face. "Sokka! SOKKA!"

He came with this lazy walk he had, munching on some berries. Honestly, I probably never saw him without any food in his hand. "What is it, jerk?"

And yeah, I had given up on that. "Make them go away." I waved my hand in the direction of Teo and the Duke.

Sokka raised an eyebrow. "And by which decree, Your Royal Highness?"

Narrowing my eyes, my foot started to tap. "It's just that I'm trying to practise firebending, and they are too close. They could get hurt, but they don't go away!"

Teo raised his hand.

Sokka opened his mouth to retort, but I frowned at Teo's raised hand. Was he honestly asking to be allowed to say something? Wow, that had to be the most polite kid out of all of them here. Everyone else just talked over each other, until Katara yelled at everyone to be silent and sorted everything out.

"Teo?" I asked cautiously, feeling like my father in a meeting, when he allowed his generals to speak.

"Yeah, erm… Well, I would really like to leave, but I don't want to leave the Duke here alone." He grimaced, emphasising on his dilemma.

Sokka stroked his chin, his elbow supported by his other hand. "And why does the Duke want to be here?"

Teo shrugged, and the Duke as always remained mute in my presence.

"Sokka. Could you please just get them away from here?" I asked, feeling exasperated and tired. Other children and social interaction, other teenagers were so exhausting!

But it seemed to be easy for Sokka. "Hey, the Duke. Have you seen this gigantic airbender weapon in the round room yet?" he asked, leaning down, supporting his hands on his knees.

I kept myself from saying that the airbenders never had any weapons, when the Duke's eyes lit up, as he almost smiled, springing to his feet.

"Let's take a look on it, shall we?" Sokka made an excited and adventurous hand gesture, then marched off, the Duke right behind him, and Teo rolling after them, waving once at me.

I awkwardly waved back.

Nonetheless, the Duke and Teo came back, and after four days, Sokka didn't know what he could do to make them leave me alone.

Aang had heard of it, and had tried to talk to the Duke, but he played pouty, mute child even with Aang, who in the end asked me to join him, Toph, Haru, and Katara with their practice. They used Appa to get to a faraway place, where no one could get hurt. I had really tried to avoid Katara, and until now had managed not to sit with her in Appa's saddle, but after Sokka couldn't help me with the Duke anymore, I took on Aang's offer.

Katara always sat on the other end of the saddle or at the front with Aang, just as far enough away from me as possible. I wasn't contagious, she just didn't trust me. Or that's what I had thought. But maybe she also couldn't stand me. Or found that I smelled bad.

Haru and Toph always talked about earthbending while we were in the saddle, Katara glared off the saddle, and I laid my chin on the rest, looking at the landscapes underneath us. The Western Air Temple truly was the most curious one. The land looked so much like the Fire Nation and there were no high mountains whatsoever, which made it different than the other three temples.

The practice went well, I was undisturbed and could work on my bending as much as I wanted to. I always practised summoning larger balls of fire from my hands, just with one shot. It got exhausting quickly, but the oftener I did it, the bigger they became. It was like training a muscle, and along with the breathing exercises, I felt like I had more access to my fire than I ever had before. For the first time in my life, I felt like a good firebender. Of course, I had been one of the best of my nation before, but being worse than my younger sister would probably always be a sore spot, where self-doubt was emanating from.

When we came back, Sokka told me that the Duke had sat himself in front of the ashes of our campfire for the whole afternoon and hadn't said a word!

"So?"

"_So?_ Well, you have to talk to him. I think he thought you were dead or something, and therefore gone!" Sokka whispered way too loudly, not actually wanting the Duke to hear this.

"What has that got to do with me?" I asked in a foul attempt of getting out of this situation.

Sokka only gave me a dry look, before I groaned and walked over to the little guy.

I sat next to him, crosslegged, trying to smile. "Hi."

He stole a look with wide eyes at me, before quickly looking away, sniffing.

Oh dragons! Please don't let him cry!

"What's the matter with you… buddy?" I tried, cocking my head to the side, looking at him.

He frowned at me for a moment, before skidding closer.

I tensed, grimacing in Sokka's direction, who grinned and gave me a thumb's up. I glared at him and made a cutting motion across my throat.

But I hadn't noticed Katara standing behind him, until she quickly reached for her water flask, while Sokka was silently cackling.

Oh no. Had I just signed my own death sentence? But Toph grabbed Katara's arm just in time, saying something to her. She seemed to growl, before she glared at her, and yanked her arm free, storming off to probably start on dinner.

Aang quickly ran after her.

Well… I wouldn't pretend to know I knew everyone's role in this group or even their relationships (I just found out two days ago that Sokka and Katara are siblings!), but I suspected that the most important person for Aang here was Katara. He didn't seem to like it how she coiled away from everyone because I had intruded. I didn't like it, either. It wasn't like I was forcing her to stay in her room, retire early, or spend all her time preparing food.

My thoughts were interrupted when the Duke grabbed my hand, slipping his tiny one in mine. Dragons, his skin was ice cold! I almost shivered.

He seemed to slump a little, almost in relief, and then he… Well, he crawled into my lap like some dog cat, turning around, trying to make himself a bed, before curling up.

Just now did I notice that he was shivering. Or not… he was shaking.

"I miss my friends," he said in a low tone, his voice still very high, but shaking with emotions a child his age shouldn't feel.

I felt my facial lines harden, and my muscles tensed, but not because a child was sitting in my lap, but because I hated why his voice sounded like that.

"That's okay," I assured him.

He shook his head. "No. I miss my brother, but he was bad, but I still miss him."

I took a deep breath, looking down at him, but could only see his helmet. "My family isn't good, too."

When I looked up again, I was met with Sokka's, Toph's, Haru's, and Teo's gaze, all wearing similar expressions of disbelief and curiosity. I would have liked to shout at them to go away.

"Haru said you were bad," the Duke suddenly said, turning his face up at me.

I raised my eyebrows, but nodded. "Yes, I was."

"And now you're good. Do you think my brother can change, too?" He blinked at me, bogey dangling from his nose, and he wiped it all over his freckled cheek.

"I, uh, I don't know. It depends on how far gone your brother was. If he hadn't crossed a certain line, then I think he can still change."

The Duke seemed to think about that, but then pouted. "I haven't seen him for half a year. I don't know how he is."

"Are you talking about Jet?" Sokka interjected, his voice surprisingly soft.

The Duke shifted in my lap to look at Sokka. "Yes," he sniffed. "Pipsqueak is a great brother, but he's not talking much. Jet was always funny."

I grimaced at hearing the name of the Duke's brother. Seriously? Jet? Urgh, I hated that name.

"Until he wanted to flood a whole village and kill hundreds of innocent people," Sokka said dryly, and I first glared at him, but the information didn't seem to disturb the Duke. Maybe he had already known.

"_What the magma?"_ I mouthed at Sokka, wanting to know a bit more about this village flooding brother of the Duke's. It sounded like the Duke had spent his childhood around psychopathic, violent adults, which sounded quite similar to my childhood, now that I thought about it.

Sokka gave me a _Later _look, and then suddenly smiled widely. "He-hey, the Duke! You know what? You can have new brothers here! Honestly, who needs Jet? That guy was an idiot. But you can have me, and Teo, and Haru, and Zuko? I suppose."

The glare I directed at him was answered with gestures pointing at the child in my lap. Well… he might have had a point there.

"Yeah?" the Duke wanted to know. "Zuko reminds me of Jet."

Sokka grimaced, staring at me with a frown. "Really?"

Oh, I hoped this Jet was totally different from the one I had met!

"Yeah, their hair is falling down and it's unruly. And I saw Zuko practise with two fire swords! Jet had two swords, too," the Duke added quieter.

Well, what the Duke told us about his brother didn't seem so bad, but it was too similar to the Jet I had met, in my opinion.

"Zuko even fights with two real swords!" Sokka leaned back on his hands, and then produced a dark grey sword from right under his butt. "And I have a sword, too!"

The Duke's face lit up, and he quickly crawled out of my lap to walk to Sokka. "Whoa! Can I touch it?"

"No touching!" Sokka brought the sword behind his back. "This is a really sharp sword, and it's very special."

My eyes narrowed at the blade, but what was most intriguing was the hilt. It looked awfully familiar, and I only knew one sword master well enough to be familiar with his swords' hilts. To have a better look, I got up and walked over, dropping down next to Sokka.

"First, that blade is really badly treated. I'm sure it wouldn't hurt the Duke. Secondly, is it possible that your sword is a Piandao sword?" I cocked my head to the side, frowning at the hilt.

Sokka examined the blade with a pouty expression that turned panicked when he probably noticed that I was right. "Um, yes. It is a Piandao sword. But I made it myself," he announced proudly, grinning like a fool.

"So you were one of his students then?" I probed. Only his students were allowed to forge their swords themselves.

He nodded. "Yes, I was. He taught me a lot."

"When?"

"Oh? A month ago?"

I snorted. "You should practise more often. The blade is blunt, and I've never seen you with that sword before. And it's way too beautiful to be lying around."

Sokka leaned in my direction, a little too close for my taste. "I practise every afternoon with Swordy, when you interrupt our time together to take care of your kids!"

"Don't call them that!"

"What? 'Your kids'? You don't want me calling them 'your kids'? Because they are your kids?"

I pinched the bridge of my nose, begging the slight headache to go away and not to get stronger, as I took a few calming breaths.

"Man, I can literally see how you count to ten," Sokka chuckled.

"That's a false use of the word 'literally', Sokka," Teo commented, and everyone turned around to him. He immediately blushed.

"Why?" Sokka wanted to know.

"Because you can't really see how Zuko is counting to ten. You could have said 'practically' instead," he explained, but his voice got quieter and shier.

While everyone seemed to think really hard on that, I got up and went to my room, not in the mood for any further interaction with kids until dinner.

When I entered the corridor, I could hear Katara's voice ranting, coming from her room.

"Aang, for the hundredth time, I was only trying to protect Sokka! Making death threats is not how someone gets my trust!" she cried.

I grimaced, sure she was speaking about me, and quickly walked on, not able to hear Aang's response, but Katara's was loud enough. "Toph! Ha! Well, honestly, sometimes I wonder what side she's actually on! She's taking too quickly to him! Until we don't have proof, he can't be trusted! And no, Aang, teaching you firebending is no proof! It's his entry ticket to our group!"

Closing my eyes, I already felt the headache hammering, and let out a deep sigh, when I closed the door to my room behind me.

I could still hear Katara, but I couldn't make out her words anymore.

Since I didn't know what to do, I lied down on my bed, bringing one of the Advanced Firebending scrolls I had brought with me.

The scroll taught Sozin style, something I had never felt comfortable with. As a child, it had felt wrong and unnatural to me to base my bending on my anger or hatred, and I had always known there was another place, but I had always been too afraid to actually draw firebending from there. Not anymore, though.

The Sozin style katas were all violent and aggressive, and although I didn't want to try to learn them, it was important to study your enemy. These were the moves that Azula and Ozai would pull in our final battle.

I knew how these moves felt like. While studying the moves, I imagined I was making them, and I imagined where the weakest point of the fire streaming out of me would be. Where the best point to attack would be.

But although I was highly absorbed with my reading, I couldn't shake the small voice telling me that the Duke's Jet could be the Jet I had met. What if this was true? Jet had been imprisoned because of our fight. Was it now my fault that the Duke couldn't see him anymore? Well, I wouldn't have wanted to leave any kid in Jet's responsibility, though, so maybe it wasn't actually so bad.

During dinner, I sat next to Sokka again, waiting for a moment to ask him about this Jet. Aang told everyone about what he had learned today, and although I would have wanted to tell him that his stance was still not wide enough for the hot squat, when he proudly announced he knew now how to do it, I couldn't. I couldn't become part of the conversation, when I wanted to start my own one.

When Sokka leaned back a bit, I quickly turned towards him. "Hey, er, can I ask you something?"

His gaze became curious, as he nodded. "Sure."

"Well, er, about this village flooding Jet guy…?"

A groan sounded from Sokka's throat, as he threw his head back in annoyance. "That guy was after Zhao the craziest idiot I've ever met. So, you know. Veeeery crazy. This kind of fanatically crazy. Hated all firebenders with the energy of a thousand suns. Wanted to kill them all, and honestly, he didn't care if soldiers or civilians. He wouldn't even stop at killing children, old people, or some Earth Kingdom people, if it meant ridding the world of the Fire Nation." He rolled his eyes. "Completely nuts, that guy. But… Well, apparently he told Katara, he had to watch how his family was slaughtered and burnt right in front of him, along with his whole village, but they let the children live. And I think seeing that would make everyone go nuts. I mean, you already had to be nuts, if you wouldn't go nuts then!" He had started gesticulating a little, and some of his food fell to the ground, since he gesticulated with his bowl still in his hand.

Momo jumped from Aang's shoulder to where Sokka had dropped something and immediately put it in his mouth.

"No! Bad, Momo! Bad!" Sokka scolded, and Momo ducked, and scrabbled off to _me_, climbing my back in an attempt of getting away from Sokka.

"Ouch… Hey!" I complained, trying to snatch the furry animal away. I cautiously turned my head to the left, looking that closely at Momo's face that it was all blurry. Dragons, his eyes were huge!

His ears jerked, before he jumped down onto the floor again, sitting in front of me and staring with huge eyes, his ears tense and paying attention.

"I think he wants something," I murmured to Sokka.

He nodded. "Yeah, your food. Don't give it to him, or you'll never get rid of him."

Humming, I nodded, thinking about what Sokka had told me about Jet. I still couldn't be sure it was the same Jet.

Scratching my head, I took a deep breath. "Okay, listen. On my way to Ba Sing Se, I met someone called Jet, and I just want to make sure that wasn't your Jet."

"Our Jet? It's not _our_ Jet!"

"Whatever. Just… er…" I tried to think about something specific about Jet. Something that could identify him to Sokka. But honestly, a lot more than his general shape and annoying face didn't come up in my mind. "Tell me about how that Jet you met was. Like, what differentiated him from everyone else?"

"The lack of a brain?"

I gave Sokka a dry look.

"Okay, okay… Well, he wasn't exactly stupid… But, okay. He always had this stupid straw in the corner of his mouth. Made me crazy. Like, why did he have this there? Did it taste good? And his eyebrows looked strange. He was wearing some makeshift armor in blue, red, yellow, fought with two hookswords, was very athletic. I mean, he managed to fight Aang in the trees. An airbender, in the crown of trees!" He shook his head. "Well, and there was of course his merry little gang. Called themselves freedom fighters, but were only terrorising a civilian Fire Nation town that couldn't defend itself." He snorted, his face turning dark and serious for a moment.

It always surprised me when Sokka looked like this. In the beginning, I had thought he was the leader of the group, and although that still seemed possible to me, I had noticed that he just loved to be ridiculous and to make a fool out of himself. Maybe he was just trying to keep everyone laughing and happy, like Uncle had done.

Okay, well, that was definitely the Jet I had met. Freedom fighters. He had wanted me to join them! Like magma, I would go terrorising innocent villages!

Yeah, it took circa two seconds for me to realise I had already done that. Maybe Jet and I were more alike than I had thought.

Ew, no! I had never flooded a damn village! What maniac floods a village?

_What maniac burns a village?_, a self-righteous sounding voice asked me. It sounded an awful lot like Kilara, and I leaned back to pout at the fire.

Momo was still sitting in front of me, _not_ begging for food, uh-uh.

Sighing, I picked some vegetables from the rice and gave them to him.

After he swallowed them down, he crept closer to my legs, and I watched him cautiously, not knowing if he already accepted me as a part of the group. But animals should have a good intuition, and I didn't want to harm anyone here, so Momo should be okay with me.

He perched himself on one of my thighs, rolling together, head on my knee.

I grimaced. These were definitely too many living beings in my lap today!

"Aaawww!" Sokka gushed. "What would I give for some paper to capture this moment for eternity!"

I glared at him, but calmed myself with the knowledge that Sokka didn't have any paper with him, and considering his penmanship, he couldn't be a very talented artist.

Sighing, I gathered my bowl of food back in my hands, eating with my thoughts all over the place, but mostly thinking about how Jet had met these people here. It was almost funny how I had met Kilara and Jet, and both of them had met some of the people sitting around a campfire with me now.

Given how small the world was… Jet had been in Ba Sing Se at the same time I had been there, or Kilara, or Aang and his friends.

"Can I ask you something now?" Sokka said before I could voice my thoughts.

Swallowing, I nodded. "Sure."

"There's something that doesn't add up to me." He turned his face towards me, and whatever he was thinking, seemed to be grave. "You said the Fire Lord ordered you to catch Aang. But you were already in the South Pole, before Aang woke up, right?"

I clutched my bowl tighter, as my chest felt like it was crumbling.

"You couldn't have got to us this fast from anywhere else. What did you do down there?" Sokka asked, his eyes a little narrowed.

I cleared my throat. "Looking for Aang."

Sokka shook his head. "You didn't know he was there! How could you have been looking for him?"

My hands tensed even more as I rejected the urge to coil in myself. "Er, well, everyone in my family had to look for the Avatar in the last hundred years. I was sent away when I was thirteen, a little over three years ago. I had already searched most of the world, before we came to the…"

"What?" Sokka shrieked. "Honestly?"

"Yeah?" I shrugged.

He sighed. "Aw, man! I always wanted to do that, too."

"Looking for the Avatar?" I asked, not feeling convinced, but unsure.

"No, travelling the world," he said like I was an idiot.

"Er, you did," I pointed out. He had been to large parts of the Earth Kingdom, the colonies, the Northern Water Tribe and the Fire Nation!

He rolled his eyes. "Not like that. Just for… fun and research, maybe."

"It wasn't funny, and I didn't research anything! It was a serious mission!" I objected.

He raised one eyebrow. "Okay, but the Avatar hadn't been seen in almost a century! How could you have believed you would find him?"

I shrugged. "There didn't seem to be another solution. Besides, I did find him, didn't I?" I added, grinning.

"Technically, Katara and I found him," Sokka said, smirking.

"Is it true that he was asleep in an iceberg?" I looked over to Aang who was talking animatedly to Toph, now being able to believe what Kilara had told me. "And that his first question was if Katara wanted to go penguin sledding with him?"

Sokka gasped. "Who told you that?"

"Oh, I met someone who met someone who met you guys. Apparently, Katara told them about it," I said nonchalantly.

Sokka rolled his eyes again. "Oh, Katara. Well, she being too trusting is at least something I don't have to worry about anymore," he joked, but then he seemed to understand who he was talking to, but instead of looking aghast, he simply cleared his throat. "Thanks for that. It clams me to know that Katara's level of paranoia is normal now."

I flinched and shook my head. "Don't thank me for that. She shouldn't have changed like this. That's my fault."

"Na, I wouldn't say _fault_. She'll come around, eventually. At last when we defeated the Fire Lord." He clapped his hand on my back twice. Now, I knew it wasn't meant as a threat. I had seen Sokka do this to Aang, Toph, and Haru, too, so I interpreted it as a sign of sympathy or solidarity.

"Have you ever seen Jet again?" I asked Sokka a few minutes later.

The look he gave me didn't look good, but I couldn't make out the meaning behind it. "Yes, we have," he said, almost with a hoarse voice. "He… changed."

"But isn't that what the Duke wanted? You should tell him!" I said indignantly. How could he withdraw that information?

"It's not that easy." Sokka took a deep breath. "Jet caused some disturbances in Ba Sing Se, back when they were all 'There is no war in Ba Sing Se'. He was arrested and brainwashed. He changed after that, for real, I mean. He did some good things. I don't know how he felt about the Fire Nation, but the Dai Li became his enemy, too. He had been brainwashed to lead us to some place where we thought we would find Appa, but it was a trap. The Dai Li waited there, and Jet… He was wounded. He said it would be alright, but Toph felt that he lied." He swallowed. "We're not sure if he survived."

Horror, fear, and terrible guilt struck me, making me completely motionless for several moments. I didn't breathe.

"You said you met him?" Sokka asked, sounding concerned.

I opened my mouth to tell him… I didn't know. Would I even have told the truth?

But I was saved by the Duke. He had red cheeks, and was sniffing again, pouting when he pointed at Momo. "I wanna sit there."

Oh dragons, lend me your patience and strength!

Sokka snickered.

I patted my left thigh instead. "You can sit here." Or how about on the floor?

It's not like I didn't like the Duke, or that I couldn't handle children. I liked children, but I didn't like how being nice to them made me. If everyone would act as if things were normal, I would be totally fine, but everyone acted as if it were a scandalous discovery. As if someone like me wasn't meant to get along with children.

The Duke glared at Momo. Honestly, he glared, but did as I said.

Now, I had two little, cute things sitting in my lap. That was definitely a first. Except for the turtle ducks, maybe.

The Duke leaned his head on my chest, and I frowned down at him, as I noticed that he was shaking again. Did he want to talk about his brother again?

Without thinking about it, I grabbed his hand, feeling again how ice cold it was. Frowning, I lifted my hand to his forehead.

"Katara!" I shouted.

She stopped in the middle of her conversation with Haru, glared shortly at me, and then just continued talking to him!

Cradling the Duke in my arms, I stood, making Momo jitter in annoyance as he jumped down from me. "Katara! The Duke isn't feeling well! You have healing powers, right?"

"I'm feeling well," he murmured.

Almost groaning, I rolled my eyes. "You feel like a volcano about to explode."

Katara apparently noticed how bad the Duke looked, or she thought I was sounding sincere, whatever it was, it made her stand up and walk over to us. The look she aimed at me was wary, and I tried to keep an open face.

"What's the matter, the Duke?" she asked, bending down to be on the same level with his face.

His one side was leaning against my chest. "I'm fine. Maybe tired. But today was fun."

Katara frowned at me, and I quickly said "He's got a fever, and his hands are ice cold!" She sucked in a breath, and immediately bent some water from the flask she always wore at her hip, touching the Duke's forehead with the water. He moved his head away from me, trying to drink the water.

Katara quickly pulled it away. "Okay, erm…" She gnawed on her lip. "He's ill." With a deep breath and a rubbing of her own forehead, as if she would get a headache, she turned around, starting to bellow orders. "Haru, find any scrap of fabric you think no one is using! Sokka! Go…" She trailed off. "Er… go through my stuff, and lay every cooking ingredient from the Water Tribe out here. Aang, get water! Lots of it! And contained! Teo, Toph… Don't do much."

Toph snorted and crossed her arms, while Teo actually looked a bit pissed, too. He rolled over to Aang, tugging at his sleeve. "I can help you. We can put some buckets on my lap. That'll make things easier."

"Awesome idea!" Aang shouted, before jumping behind Teo, pushing him down to the fountain. As if he couldn't just bend the water back to us.

"I'll get him to his room," I said to Katara, when she had finished ordering everyone around like some general. She even stood there with her hands on her hips and feet wide apart, in the moment reminding me of Azula, which was freaking crazy.

"No." She shook her head. "He sleeps on a sleeping mat there, and he needs a proper bed right now."

"Okay, so I'll get him to my room."

"Definitely not." She stomped her foot, snarling.

Slowly, I turned my head back to her, trying to convince myself that she had to be joking. Clearly, she didn't think I would freaking harm a child!

_Like you tried to harm Aang, a twelve year old pacifist. _

Aaaarrrrggghhhhh!

Well, the Duke was much younger and couldn't fight! Plus, he was not my enemy!

"What?"

"Well, he's not going to sleep in _your_ room!"

"Why?"

"Because… I don't trust you!"

My eyes narrowed. "Well, that is your problem. The Duke is ill and he needs a proper bed! Supervise me if it makes you feel better, I don't care!" I snarled, almost spat at her, and although I had told myself to be nice to Katara, because she was right, and I had been wrong, and her reason to be mad at me was justified, I just had enough! It was clearly a wonder I hadn't exploded on her before with the way she always looked at me with this death glare! And yes, it felt really good to lose my patience and be cross with her.

Her mouth opened to retort something, but I turned around and left, before she could say something, heading towards my room.

"Wait! Are you deaf? I said wait!" she shouted, and it sounded like she stomped her foot .

"Just follow me! The Duke needs your powers!" I barked over my shoulder.

"How do I know you didn't use your firebending to raise his body temperature, and will… kill me the moment I enter your room?" Her voice was dripping with contempt and suspiciousness.

I stiffened. I got completely stiff and hoped I had imagined her words, before I turned on my heel and almost growled at her. I hadn't been this angry and furious since… Shit, I didn't know, but not even during Mai's and my fight had I felt this rage, not even during my banishment, when Uncle clearly didn't take my mission seriously, or the crew didn't follow my orders!

My mind was still working well enough to cover the Duke's eyes, before I started shouting. "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? Have you got any idea how often I could have already killed you? Killed all of you? And no, not only since I'm here, but a dozen times last winter! And I was your fucking enemy then and still didn't kill you, because firstly, you're children! And secondly, I'm not a fucking murderer! I don't know what I have to do to get it into that thick skull of yours, but I'm not going to betray you! I'm here to teach Aang and to defeat the Father Lord, because he's the most evil and craziest person alive, who should not rule an entire nation, and I fucking know I've made the wrong decision in Ba Sing Se, okay? I realised that, and that's the only reason why I'm here! And you can hate me all you want, but I would really much appreciate it if you would keep it to yourself, and at least accept my presence here. I don't need you to like me, I don't need anyone here to like me, really. But I'm fucking sick of your constant contempt and snarky comments, so just shove it, at least for the time when a sick child needs both our help, or do you even hate me more than you want to help him?!"

My nostrils were flaring, and I think my hold of the Duke had tightened some due to my anger, as I, for once, was the one staring at her with narrowed eyes, annoyance and contempt contorting my face.

During my shouting, she looked like she was vibrating with anger, and the dark look on her face looked so wrong on a girl her age, but it was probably more because of her personality that I thought this. I knew Katara was nice and caring towards the others, critical, but encouraging. She sometimes reminded me of my mum, and the way she looked at me was only like my mother had looked at Ozai sometimes when they fought, and it made me hate Katara's contempt towards me even more. I was not like my father, and I hated being like him to anyone.

The moment I mentioned the Duke, her face crumbled a little, suddenly looking unsure, but still not convinced. Honestly, I would have just marched straight to my room if I had any idea of how to treat a flu or cold or whatever the Duke was having.

"And can't you do that waterbending thing where you're controlling my body? I couldn't even attack you, if I wanted to, okay?" I asked, now only feeling annoyed and tired.

But apparently, I had said the wrong thing again, because she stiffened, as she stared at me with wide eyes. "C-c-c-contr… controlling your… b-body? What…?"

"Oh. Er, well, I don't know. I thought maybe you could do that? Or maybe it's like with lightning bending, and it's a very rare talent?" I mused.

"It's not a talent, you idiot!" she suddenly snarled, and I blinked.

"So you can do it then? Because if you can, you really got nothing to fear of me, do you?" Impatience seeped through my voice, as I stared at her.

It took her way too long to answer. Biting down on her lip, she slowly nodded, before sighing. "Alright then."

I didn't waste another single moment and hurried to get to my room.

Katara's behaviour changed immediately, and she became something I could only call a professional healer. After I had laid the Duke down on my mattress, I let Katara walk closer, leaving her enough space so that she would be comfortable enough not to feel threatened by me. It was annoying, but I would do anything.

She applied water to the Duke's forehead and started healing.

I leaned against the wall, watching her with bated breath, waiting for Sokka and Aang to come back.

"Oh no," Katara murmured.

I practically jumped. "What is it?"

"His fever isn't going down through waterhealing. It's not even the least bit responsive," Katara explained, turning her face towards me, her brows contorted. "Can you check where Aang and Sokka are?"

Glancing at the Duke's small head, I nodded and left the room. I ran to the grand platform and quickly took a look around. Everyone was gone, and I settled for the only thing I could do. Air filled my lungs and then I let it out. "AANG! SOKKA! HURRY UP!"

Two seconds later, Aang came out of a corridor, scooting on an air ball, impossibly fast, jumping down in front of me.

"Where's the water?" I bellowed.

His face crumbled. "Er, well… Teo has it."

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Teo can only transport water in a bucket on his lap. You can water_**bend**_!" I growled.

He gasped. "Right!" he said, face palming and groaning, looking at the ceiling. "I'll be right back!" He turned around and left again, scooting away on another air ball.

I scowled at him, and then heard the ragged breathing of Sokka coming from behind me. He ran towards me, practically falling over his feet, carrying several folded papers in his arms. "This is all I could find! I hope something will help."

I just nodded sharply and ran towards my room.

Katara bent some water along the Duke's calves when we entered. "Cooling his calves should lower his fever. When Haru will be here, we can wrap wet, cool fabric around his legs. That can help, too." She looked up to us. "Sokka, what have you got?"

He went through the papers, opening them, and finding dried herbs rolled in the paper. "Well, we have heather, juniper, elder, willow bark…"

"Yes!" Katara shouted. "Brew a tea from willow bark! That could help him!"

"But… But I don't know how to make tea!" Sokka whined.

"Give me that!" I snarled, grabbing the willow bark. "I'll make the tea."

"You can make tea?" Two identical tones of disbelieve met my ears.

I frowned. "I lived with the most tea loving man on earth for years! Of course, I know how to make tea. I even worked in a tea shop!"

Sokka laughed, like I had made a good joke, but Katara's eyes simply widened a little. "That was real?" she asked quietly.

"What do you mean?"

She bit on her lip, turning away to watch the water she was bending. "I saw you there once. You and your uncle. I wanted to have tea, but I left when I saw you. I thought the Fire Nation had infiltrated Ba Sing Se."

I didn't know how to react to that, so I simply shook my head. "No, we were really only working there. We were refugees like I said, and we thought Azula wouldn't be able to find us in Ba Sing Se. But you can't hide anywhere from Azula."

On my way to the platform, Aang ran past me, this time with water, and I asked him to bend a little bit into my tea pot. I knew that Uncle always said the best tea was made when the pot was seated above a small flame, and whenever I had just warmed the water with firebending, he had noticed and said that it made the tea taste bitter. I wanted to argue that tea was always bitter, but I let it be. There was no objecting Uncle when it came to tea.

But now, the taste wasn't important. Only that the Duke recovered was important right now. And the water heated faster through firebending.

When I went back to the Duke, Aang just left the room, frowning. "She's throwing everyone out. Says that too many people in there are bad for his health."

"It might induce stress," I argued and shrugged.

Aang sighed. "I know!"

Katara immediately took the tea away from me, muttering "Thanks, Zuko", which had me stop and blink in surprise. She went back to the Duke, Haru wrapped the wet cloths around the Duke's calves, and Katara sat herself behind him, so that he could sit up, lean against her, and she held the tea gainst his lips.

"Is there anything else I can do?" I asked, feeling uncomfortable.

Haru glared at me, while Katara looked thoughtful. "Not right now. Though we might need some more tea in a few hours."

I nodded. "Just say something then," I said, and left.

_**Kilara**_

Eleven meals and sixteen guard shift changes had already passed.

I was growing restless. Something needed to happen, didn't it? Why was no one coming and telling me what to do? What was going on?

None of the guards knew anything about the rest of the rebellion, or they were all good liars.

But maybe my counting wasn't right, as I drifted off to sleep sometimes, and it became hard to stop myself from doing so. Because what else did I have to do? Nothing!

I had been thinking of training, keeping my body strong, but without a help for my leg, it was impossible. All the forms that I knew required weight on both my legs, and I simply couldn't do that. So I slept, dosed, was awake, ate, drank, healed myself, peed, and shit.

I never saw any daylight. I never saw anyone really. I couldn't even look at the guards, as they stood too far away from the hatch in my door to get a look at them.

I kept myself occupied with moving my finger on the floor as if I would write something down. That helped me to keep my thoughts in order. Mostly, that is. They were still all over the place, but when I wrote them down, I felt a little more in control.

The guards usually didn't talk to me, not even provoked me, but there was that one guard who always said "Hello, crow,", "Food for you, crow", and "Bye, crow." I never said anything in return. Because honestly, knowing I looked horrible, ugly, and dirty was the last of my problems. It didn't help, and more often than not did I dream about a bath or a shower, but it was certainly not my top priority. It was funny how irrelevant my vanity became, wondering what the people above decided to do with me. Let me rot, kill me, or try to use my powers for their own benefit?

If my throat had produced a sound, I would have sung to kill time. But with the little water I had to my disposal, and only being able to heal myself while swallowing, my progress with healing my vocal cords was very slow. I didn't want to irritate my voice with useless sound making. I tried to be as silent as I could, waiting for when my voice would he fully healed.

But after my twelfth meal, things changed. The next guards who approached my cell seemed to be too early for a shift change, and they were more than two. I could hear their footsteps, and I knew that a large group of people normally didn't walk through the corridor out there.

They stopped right in front of my cell, but I couldn't hear a word they were saying. Did they even talk?

Leaning against the wall, I pushed myself up to be in a standing position, when they would come in.

It all happened fast.

The door opened, and two guards with helmets and masks rushed in, pressing me against the wall. I would have screamed or whimpered, if I could. But like this, only my mouth opened in fear and surprise, just like my eyes widened.

My hands were still in shackles, but they still pressed my arms to the wall, as if I could do anything.

Again, two guards came in, holding something of the upper part of an armor between them, without sleeves o even holes. There was only one hole for a head. My eyes widened when I understood, and I started to struggle against the two adults holding me.

"You're being transported. You'll have to wear this, because you were deemed to be dangerous," one of the guards in front of me drawled, obviously not believing that I was dangerous.

I snarled at him. They should just keep me in a cell for a few more months, and I know I wouldn't have any inhibitions using my bloodbending to free myself! Then they'd see just how dangerous I was.

But now, the guard just chuckled, as they opened the armor and pressed the front part against my chest. The other guards pulled me away from the wall, then they closed it behind me. It wore heavily on my shoulders, and ended at my waist. My hands were permanently forced behind my back, and I couldn't even lift my legs over my hands now. It would have been difficult anyhow, but now it was just impossible. I wouldn't even be able to lift my arms a little bit.

Although I theoretically knew what this… thing meant, I still squirmed and struggled, but when they suddenly let go of me, I didn't think of keeping my weight on my right leg, and fell face first to the floor.

The guards laughed.

I had turned my head, but my cheekbone hurt like tsunami, and I think my skin on my eyebrow split open. If I wouldn't get the opportunity to bath, and my shackles wouldn't be removed soon, it would scar. And if I wouldn't be able to keep healing my vocal cords… Trying to heal while swallowing was the most tedious work I had ever had to do.

"Stand up, crow."

I narrowed my eyes and snarled against the floor.

He was right in front of me. I put my right foot on the floor, pushed myself away, while I turned on my back. With this metal straitjacket, I didn't make myself any more vulnerable, as my belly was protected this way. My right leg swept out and I managed to kick him swiftly under his armor, right in the gonads.

The fire soldiers' protection for the area between the legs resembled a skirt of metal, making attacking it from the floor easy enough.

He gasped and cursed. "Fuck! Stupid bitch!" His hands went down, finding a way under the platters of his armor to hold his bruised anatomy part.

One of the other guards immediately seized my legs.

"They said she was dangerous!" a female voice complained, almost as if she wanted to say 'You should have better listened'.

"Yeah," a man's voice grumbled.

The guard, holding my legs looked up in my face.

I tried to keep my face contorted in anger and not to show my fear.

"Her leg is crippled. I bet she can't walk. We have to carry her," he said, looking up at the others.

"I'm out!" The guard who had always called me 'crow' groaned, stumbling backwards and out of the cell.

"She can still kick. I'm not carrying her," the man who was still standing objected.

"Good thing I brought some extra shackles," the guard holding me down said, moved down my legs and grabbed my ankles, until I felt the weight of metal around them.

The two behind me shoved me into a sitting position and then they all pulled me up. I lifted my left leg a little, so as not to put any weight on it.

"Potato sack then," the guard who had held my legs said, and before I knew what was going on, I was dangling on a shoulder, my eyes looking at an armor clad bottom.

My teeth pressed against each other, while I grew more angry and more frustrated with every second. Where were they taking me? Why didn't anyone tell me what would happen? Why couldn't I just ask? And would I survive another day?

_**Zuko**_

It was late, and normally I would have already gone to bed, but my thoughts didn't stop whirling around in my head. I sat on the cliff, my legs dangling, trying to sort through my thoughts.

I had brewed tea again for the Duke about half an hour ago, and then I had done my evening exercises to get to bed, but my head wasn't calm enough. It was strange, worrying about anything else than the Avatar or my father. I worried for the health of a small child right now.

And if I was maybe still more of a villain than I had thought. Most of the things I had done, I could somehow defend (at least in my head), but until today I had thought that I was innocent of the crime of murder.

But I was my father's son. Maybe more so than I had thought.

"Zuko?" Aang appeared next to me.

"Yeah?" I kept staring at the abyss.

"Are you okay?" He sounded worried.

"No."

Then he sat down. I hadn't told him he could sit down!

"I'm sure the Duke will become healthy again!" he offered cheerfully, but I just frowned deeper and kept staring ahead, dangling my legs.

"Or is this about something else?" he asked worriedly.

I didn't respond.

"You can talk to me, Zuko, you know. I can listen to your problems and help you find a solution. It's good to talk about the things weighing you down," he said, as if I didn't know that.

I mean, theoretically I knew that, but practically, I wouldn't say it had helped me at all.

But I knew that Aang wouldn't leave me alone, until I talked about it.

"You know, when Appa was missing – he was abducted by sandbenders in the Si Wong desert – I felt so angry all the time. I didn't talk about it, I just focused on finding him again, but I completely lost who I am back then. I hurt my friends by pushing them away, and I attacked innocent people, simply because I was angry." He shook his head. "And when I noticed that I wasn't myself anymore, I suppressed my anger and didn't feel anything at all anymore. Katara tried to get me to talk, but I still pushed her away. And in the end, I just hurt myself by doing so. I didn't help Appa by keeping everything contained." He took a deep breath. "But then something remarkable happened, and I could finally talk about my feelings and let them out. I immediately felt lighter and better, when I remembered the good things I still had left in my life."

I had turned my head to look at him halfway through his story, and could just stare at him for a few moments, my mouth slightly open. He had just basically described how I had felt for three years!

I shut my mouth, swallowing. "Okay, I understand. I know talking helps, but you won't be able to help me with this."

"We can at least try," Aang offered, shrugging.

"It is… It is my fault that Jet died."

He stayed silent for several seconds, until I heard him shift on the floor. He sat with crossed legs, now looking directly at me. "Why do you think that?"

I sighed. "I met him… on the way to Ba Sing Se. On the ferry for the refugees. We got very bad food on it, while the captain kept all the good food to himself. Jet asked me to help to steal the better food to distribute it to all the other refugees." Jet had done it to help poor people, I just hadn't wanted to eat like a beggar anymore. I think I had even cared more about my sensitive, royal palate than Uncle's stomach. "We were a good team, and he asked me to join his Freedom Fighters. I rejected him. My uncle had bought a tea and had complained very loudly that it was too cold. He heated it with firebending while Jet and I talked. But Jet saw the steam from the tea cup after our talk, and started to suspect we were firebenders. He kept trying to force us into situations in which we would have to firebend, sometimes he even followed me around, hinting at burning things or how much he hated the Fire Nation. Then, one evening, he entered the tea shop we were working at, and accused us openly of being firebenders. No one believed him, but he attacked us. I borrowed some swords and then we fought." I sighed again. "We destroyed a bit of the shop, but then the fight went out on the streets, and… Dai Li agents appeared. I didn't know what they would do. That they were brainwashing people and all that. I was just relieved that he was gone, and that Uncle and I were safe. Sokka told me what happened to Jet," I said in the end, growing tense, waiting for a temper tantrum, accusations, crying.

"Zuko," Aang said slowly. "You surely didn't fight him, wanting him to die, did you?"

Frowning, I whipped my head around to him. "Of course not!"

He shrugged. "Well, then it can't be your fault that he died!"

I sat up straight. "What?"

"You didn't mean to lock him up, you just defended your Uncle and yourself. Jet was the one who insisted on exposing the two of you. But you didn't do harm to anyone, so he hardly had to do it. The laws of the city said that you weren't allowed to mention the war, but Jet violated that law, willingly. He risked himself."

I bit on my lower lip, thinking his words over, a part of me knowing he was right. But I shook my head. "This may be, but if it weren't for the war, Jet wouldn't even have a reason to hate us. And…" I stopped myself, noticing that I had completely lost myself. What was my point?

"Zuko, you're not responsible for the war!"

"I didn't do anything to stop it either!" I argued, but I knew that of course he was right. I was stupid, thinking I could take the blame for so many things.

Aang scooted closer to me, lying a hand on my shoulder. "You are now. You teach me firebending. That's the best thing you could do. I believe everything else wouldn't have made that much of a difference. You might have just endangered yourself, trying to stop the war from your side. Here, you're at least safe." He smiled at me, and I blinked, feeling surprised. Sometimes Aang said very intelligent things.

"That's probably what my uncle would have said," I said quietly, turning around to look at him, smiling.

He grinned. "I guess that means it was wise. I was taught by monks, after all."

I chuckled. "Thanks, Aang. You're good at this stuff."

oOo

The Duke was feeling better the next morning, but I still brewed him another cup of tea. He didn't want to drink it, said it was disgusting, but Katara forced him to. Even when she was apparently caring for someone, she was terrifying.

When the Duke didn't feel much better after lunch, we all agreed to stay at the temple, do minor bending exercises, and just be around in case the Duke needed something. After breakfast, instead of training Aang, I had to spend my time reading to the Duke. Sokka and Katara could read, but reading a coherent story was difficult for them, and they often stopped, trying to figure out what a character could mean. The characters they knew had mostly something to do with travelling, food, danger, war, and the life at the South Pole. When Sokka explained this to me, Katara glared at him, clearly not pleased about me knowing that about them. However, Aang was unable to sit still to read to a kid, and Haru apparently had a way too monotone voice for making the story interesting. Teo was the only one who seemed made to read stories to kids, but the Duke insisted that I should do it. I refused, however, to read one of Sokka's sappy love stories to the Duke, and instead read to him _Hiroko and Hiroto_, the play in which I had first seen and taken to the hair style of the phoenix plume.

A tale about a hero and an adventure was much more to the Duke's liking than a love story, which I could totally understand.

After lunch, I was waiting for Aang to do some training, since we already left out the morning. But the Avatar had other plans, as Sokka informed me. Apparently, he was off rolling rocks around with Toph.

Sokka wanted to spar with me. At least, I think that's what he wanted. He called it 'swordbending kai'.

But after I came back with my swords, Sokka was already showing off in front of everyone who had gathered around. Katara was drawing some cheering posters, handing Toph one with my face on it. Toph held it up the other way around. I didn't say anything.

Katara held a poster which showed the Water Tribe sign of the ocean, a sword underneath. I wondered why my poster hadn't got a sword.

Well, with Sokka stretching there, I thought showing off myself might not be the worst of ideas. I planned on defeating Sokka quickly, thoroughly, without hurting him.

He might have been trained by Piandao last month, but I had trained under him for years.

I didn't doubt my skills for one second. Which was why I loved my swords so much. This was something I was confident with.

When I took a position in front of Sokka, Aang got up, walking towards us. "Okay, well, I'm the referee."

_You're the runaway _student, I growled in my head. I would so make him do fifty more hot squats for just going off with Toph and still be here now.

"Finally! Some action around here!" the Duke cheered, and I had to bite back a grin.

Looking at him from the corner of my eye, a corner of my mouth lifted. "Don't get your hopes up, Sokka," I said, turning back to him. "I started training with Master Piandao when I was just a kid… So I think I can take a beginner like you."

"Alright, you guys, I want a good, clean swordbending match!" Aang's tone sounded worried. He was the only one out of all of them who knew what I could do with my swords, after all. Defeating Zhao's little stronghold? Fighting off arrows of Yuyan Archers? And then, if I couldn't defeat Sokka. It probably wouldn't even last three seconds.

I was still angry at him. "_**There's no such thing**_," I said, grinning, before locking eyes with Sokka. I knew I was worrying Aang even more now, but I didn't care.

He whistled, his fingers in his mouth.

"So you think you're hot stuff, huh?" Sokka yelled, while swinging his sword at me.

And he was already making a mistake for a beginner. Too much talking. But when would Sokka ever stop talking?

"Go Water Tribe!" I could hear Katara shout, as my swords clashed with Sokka's.

He moved away to have more space for swinging his sword again. His foot work seemed to be fine, at least. "Lemme show you how we do things _**down south**_!" he smirked, full of confidence, but I easily parried his beats and made him lose his balance, "Like I said…," one final parry on my behalf, and down he was. "…don't get your hopes up," I finished.

Toph and the Duke cheered loudly.

"Zuko wins," Aang said, sounding relieved, but one look at Sokka's face told me this wasn't over.

Maybe I was being petty, but after having to feel bad for my bending and just my general existence around these people (although they seemed to accept me, at least, Sokka, Aang, Toph, the Duke, and to a lesser extent Teo did), I was craving for a good win. I was craving for showing them what I could do.

I was a bit insulted at how Sokka had even thought he could spar with me. I was way beyond his level, and that he had even thought… Urgh! Besides, Katara clearly wanted Sokka to win, and I couldn't resist the opportunity to annoy her. She had been relatively civil since my shouting last night, but I still couldn't forget all the glares and snarky remarks.

"Rematch _**now**_," Sokka grumbled.

I shrugged, although I felt myself brimming with excitement.

It was funny, it was easy. And disconcerting in hindsight, how much I enjoyed humiliating someone else. I tried to tell myself it was Sokka's own fault for not thinking straight. Everyone could see that I was better. What was he hoping for? That the sun would blind me, and he would have an opening?

But I also knew that it wasn't so much the fact as making someone else loose than winning which I enjoyed. I am a very combative person, always was, but I had lost way too many times for my pride to remain unhurt. I had actually never won anything, I think. I hadn't even won again anyone in sword fighting yet. Piandao had trained me alone, so there hadn't been any peers who I could have fought. Firebending spars against Aang didn't count, as he was still a beginner and I his teacher. Therefore, the victories against Sokka shouldn't count, too, but it was him insisting on rematches and everything. I would have been happy to stop. And just enjoy the feeling of being better at something than someone else.

After the umpteenth time of winning, I pointed one sword at Sokka, who was still lying on the ground. "This is ridiculous. I'm obviously _**better**_ than you. Why don't you just give up?" I said lazily, grinning.

I knew I was just making him angrier, and for once it felt nice to be the snarky person who is getting a rise out of someone with a temper. I was usually on the other side of that, and more often than not it was Sokka who was riling me up.

But Sokka seemed to be undisturbed. "This from the guy who unsuccessfully hunted Aang for _**three years**_?"

"_**That was totally different**_!" I shot back.

Sokka brushed some dust off his shoulders. "Sure…"

My stance was wide and open, inviting. I knew I didn't look like I was expecting anything. But being prepared for an attack, whatever I was doing, was definitely one of the things I had learned in my life.

So when Sokka got up to swing his sword at me like a madman – this time he didn't even seem to care about foot work or proper stance – I was quick to react.

"…'cause it'll only take _**three minutes**_ to beat you!" he yelled, his eyes twitching.

I easily disarmed him, his sword flying metres away, clattering across the stone floor. I grinned. "You were saying?"

For a moment there he looked lost, an expression I didn't think I had seen on Sokka's face before. But then it changed, very quickly, and I knew it was important, because he was going to do something, but I didn't know what that face meant. However, I tensed, ready to move, before he drew out his boomerang from his back and threw it at me. I quickly ducked.

"Hey, no boomerang in swordbending!" I snapped, before realising what I'd just said. I had said the word! It wasn't even a word, it was just Sokka's dumb invention. "What… I mean…"

And then I noticed the lack of a pling sound. The boomerang had to fall to the ground somewhere behind me. Everything fell to the ground!

My eyes widened when I remembered correctly. How exactly Sokka had hit me last autumn. I didn't react fast enough.

Klonk!

It hurt a lot more without wearing a helmet, and even my hair didn't do much to cushion the hit.

"Umpf," I groaned, as I bent in my knees.

Sokka jumped up to catch his boomerang. "Yeah! I win!"

"You cheated," I growled.

"Zuko is right, you know," Aang said. "You _**did**_ cheat, so he still wins the match."

"I may have lost the battle of _**swords**_, young Avatar, but I won the battle of _**words**_!" Sokka objected, still cheerful. He looked three years younger when he was grinning like that.

I was still clutching my head, poking around and wondering if I bled. That boomerang was made of bone, after all.

"Go, Sokka!" Katara cheered, grinning wildly at her brother, ignoring me completely.

I snorted. But then again, I really should have learned from that first time. Being hit by a boomerang twice… That was even more humiliating.

* * *

_Thanks for reading!:D_

_Wow, that chapter became super long! I actually wanted to finish part one of this story with chapter twenty-five, because it is a nice number, but I think it will more likely be twenty-six, or twenty-seven even. _

_The bold, italic words are like this because they are like this in the comic, too. I know I left out the beginning of the comic, but the chapter would have got too long. I also added some sentences to the direct speech, which are not in the comic. _

_So, in my headcanon Zuko is great with kids. They take quickly to him and they like him, even though he does nothing, nor is he funny in any way. I probably think that because of the boy Li, who was so curious about Zuko, and I always liked to think Zuko would be great with kids. A little uncomfortable now and unsure, due to the lack of experience, but this will all change. Just another reason for why I made the Duke act like he did. _

_I hope you liked this chapter!:D Please let me know your thoughts! _

**_Answers to reviews: _**

_To _uchihaNaruto247_: Yeah, I know. I sometimes feel bad for the shit Kilara has to go through... But it leads somewhere good, don't worry. Hm, I don't know yet, actually. I mean, Toph met her, Suki knows her, maybe she could come up. Or not. I really don't know yet. Thanks, writing Zuko interacting with the gaang is exhausting, because I have to think so much and worry if it is still in character... Well, you read it. He exploded. Loudly. Thanks for your review!:D_

_To _UltraAsterous_: Thanks so much for your review! I really have to say it made me work more and faster on this chapter to get it out! I know it still took some days, but it would have definitely been longer without your review. I understand that, I also don't always review, but just follow, so thanks again that you reviewed. It really means a lot!:D Well, I wouldn't say I changed anything about the series, but I think I know what you mean. I read some OC stories, in which still the exact same dialogues as in canon were spoken, just with the OC sometimes saying Katara's or Sokka's text. And I didn't want to do that. But this story should have actually started after the war. I thought I'd just write a prologue about how Zuko met Kilara before, but then the story just went away, and all I could do was write it down. And although I didn't want to change canon, I didn't want to repeat it, either. So I thought about adding new things. And wow, you really read my story in one day? I mean, I read a lot, and I don't think I could do that. So, I'm impressed. Thank you, thank you, your review really made my day, and it means a lot! I hope you'll like the rest of the story, too!:) _


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter Twenty-Five **

**Hope Crushed**

_Hi everyone! _

_To read chapter twenty-five of _Love of Fire and Water_, please go to my written stories and click on _Hope Crushed_. This is especially for everyone who is not following me, as those people would have got a message that I had published a new story. _

_This chapter had too much dark content for my taste to publish it in a T rated fic. However, I wanted to leave the fic rated T, so this chapter is now treated like an M rated published one shot. _

_There aren't very violent things happening, as I tried to keep it down, but it seemed like too much to me. So, there is some physical torture, mental torture, and allusions to rape. And nothing close to rape happens! Nothing! There's just a sadistic person talking about it. But I tried to write around it, and simply describe it as if it had happened twenty years ago. I could have gone into a lot more detail, but I first wanted to keep it child friendly, because this fic is rated T. However, I think the sheer mentioning of rape, and describing of torture in any way makes a fic definitely not T rated. _

_I hope you don't mind, and that it doesn't cause too much trouble for you._

_(I just realized that the title of this chapter and simply seeing the author's note seems kind of like a very sick joke, as if I had decided not to keep on writing :D… I laugh, because I would never abandon this story! And I'm sorry if some of you got a wrong impression, it's just the chapter title. It was not my intention to mislead you.)_


	26. Chapter 26

_Hey everyone!_

_So I hope you all figured out how to read chapter twenty-five, because this is chapter twenty-six, and you should have read chapter twenty-five to understand what's happening in this chapter. You'll find the content to chapter twenty-five in my one shot _Hope Crushed_, which is rated M due to scenes which describe physical and psychological torture. _

_I'm posting this earlier than normal, because I was busy writing this chapter in the last few days like a madman! I just really wanted to have this out of the way and done, because I really want to go on with the story!_

_No warning for this chapter, but I included the last two comics from the Lost Adventures. They are called "Game Time" and "Bumi vs. Toph - Round 1". Pretty hilarious in my opinion. "Game Time" is about the gaang minus Suki playing hide and seek at the summer house of Zuko's family. Sokka wears his detective hat and the binocular which he wore in the episode Avatar Day, where the village of Chin imprisoned Aang, because they think Kyoshi had killed the former leader of their village, Chin the Conqueror. That was probably 300 years ago, so way to hold a grudge. Anyway, Sokka and Katara tried to prove Aang's innocence, and Sokka pretended to be a detective. And I don't think that I really have to explain what "Bumi vs. Toph - Round 1" contains, only one thing that seems pretty obvious. It was all Sokka's idea. _

_I'm really grateful there's this person posting all the Avatar comics on Instagram or I would have had to go to the library each time and hope the book was not borrowed by someone else. So thanks, avatargraphicnovel! And you guys should really check this site out! _

_I hope you'll like this chapter! Let me know what you think!:)_

_I do not own Avatar The Last Airbender, nor its characters. The only characters I own are my OCs. _

* * *

**Part Two **

**Chapter Twenty-Six**

**Finally Meeting Again **

_**Zuko**_

"You did what?" Suki asked, her face contorted in anger.

I snarled at her. "I was a refugee, okay? Azula was out to get me, the Earth Kingdom hated me, and I couldn't very well stay in one place and get a job!"

"Sounds reasonable," said Toph.

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "The thing is, she stopped me and trapped me in ice. I didn't want to show her that I'm a firebender, so I stayed there for a while. Kilara understood that I wasn't a real danger and simply criminal. She packed me a sack of food on the condition that I should answer her questions. A few days later, we met again, because she had followed me to warn me about Azula's forces getting closer. She went back home, but we met in Ba Sing Se again. It was all a coincidence. She knew who I am, almost from the start." I shrugged. "But somehow…" My throat constricted, as I thought about how she had looked at me in Uncle's kitchen, her smile radiant and warm. She had asked me if we were friends, and I has said yes. "… I managed not to ruin it at once, and we became friends."

"Just friends?" Toph asked with an evil grin.

That annoyed me. It's not like I had wanted to just stay friends. "Yes," I gritted out. "Just friends."

Suki raised an eyebrow. "You were in love with her?" she asked, almost unbelievably.

"No!" I shouted, before I rubbed my neck. "I… liked her. Er, you know…"

Suki wrinkled her nose. "I really don't want to know. But if she was your friend, how did she end up in prison?"

I scowled. "I don't know! I left Ba Sing Se, when she… When she told me she didn't want to stay friends with me, okay?" I rubbed a hand over my face. "I don't know what happened to her after that."

"I liked her," Toph said lowly. "She was amusing."

"Zuko. I know you changed sides, but you're still the prince of the Fire Nation. There has to be something you can do!" Suki pressed.

I swallowed. "I could try to sneak into the capital and free her, but… If I get caught, who's going to finish training Aang?"

"But…" Suki objected.

"No, he's right," Toph said. "That's more important now."

Suki narrowed her eyes. "Then don't get caught. I could come with you!"

"You just were imprisoned," I pointed out, before I shook my head. "I know that our justice system works slowly, since the priority of the Fire Nation is the war. So, my father is busier planning the war, and it should probably take him a while to care about war prisoners. Kilara should be able to be okay until we defeat Ozai on the day of Sozin's comet."

Suki cast her eyes down. "Are you sure?"

"No. And I would totally go on a rescue mission, if it was anywhere else than the capital. I would go, if Sozin's comet was later, and if Aang was better at firebending already. But our prison break from Boiling Rock… We were completely lucky that we got out. I never really thought of the risks, but what if I had stayed a prisoner there? Or if Mai hadn't saved us? Aang needs me to teach him firebending. He needs to stop Ozai!" And I wouldn't be reckless this time. I wouldn't lose my head. Of course, this was terribly risky, and Kilara had to be incredibly lucky, but... She also had this secret power. If she was going to be executed, and I knew there never were many people around, as it was all done quickly and quietly, she should be able to control everyone's bodies and flee. "And if we defeat him, we also help Kilara."

"I know you're right," Suki agreed. "I was just raised as a part of a group, and we've been taught never to leave anyone behind."

Toph looked at me with a confused expression, which was actually kind of funny. Toph was a lone fighter like me. We didn't fight in a group.

But if it were up to me, I wouldn't leave anyone behind either. If I had betrayed my country on my own, if I was only the Blue Spirit causing trouble, trying to stop the Fire Nation by annoying them, then I would try to rescue Kilara. Without a doubt. But there were other people here who needed me. I wasn't alone anymore, and I couldn't take risks without thinking about anyone else anymore.

It sounded harsh, but it also sounded like I had learned something about responsibility.

We walked back to the others, who all kept looking strangely at us. The silence stretched, when we sat down, and the others interchanged looks of confusion and worry.

I rolled my eyes, as I picked up my food again.

"So, did I tell anyone about this awesome fight Zuko, Suki, and I were having on the gondola? Against Azula and that acrobat?" Sokka's voice cut through the silence.

"Oh, no, Sokka! I haven't heard it yet!" Aang exclaimed. "This sounds really thrilling!"

"Oh yes, Aang. Suki was amazing with her moves. Slish, slosh, woosh, punch, bang!" He made some motions with his arms and wiggled around in his seat.

"There was no bang," Suki objected softly.

Sokka kept on talking. "And Zuko was like heeeeooooo… duush! Woosh, pat-tow, woosh, hya!" I guess Sokka's arm motions were meant to look like firebending, but they reminded me more of a gull octopus which didn't know which arms to use for catching their prey.

I scowled. "I do not make sounds like that when I fight."

"Oh no, I know," Sokka said quickly. "It's just to show the others your moves. Woosh is fire bending of course, pat-tow is a kick, and hya is when you suddenly drop to the ground and attack from below like a mole snake."

I grimaced. "That sounds kind of disgusting."

"No. It's a really good move, and Azula definitely didn't see it coming. If we had kept on fighting, she would have boiled to death; I tell you that. Her fighting was more like weehhh, oh no, weehhh, what, oooohhhh weh!"

I kept staring dryly at Sokka for three seconds, then I got up and took my food to my room with me.

"What did I say?" Sokka asked the others in a confused tone.

Katara snorted. "You're an idiot, Sokka."

oOo

It became more difficult for me to stay awake. The last twenty-four hours had been pretty exhausting, and even though I had got some sleep on our way to the Southern Raiders, the emotional rollercoaster had been worse than I had thought. I hadn't expected to feel so... compassionate with Katara and angry at Yon Rha.

The way Katara had bent this man was different from how I remembered Kilara bending me. It hadn't hurt, and it hadn't felt so weirdly twisted and wrong.

I hadn't known that there were different ways of bending a person with water.

Katara hadn't said a word since we left Yon Rha behind. Her face seemed empty and void of all emotions, as if she wasn't bothered by anything.

After what Sokka had told me, I had kind of hoped we would get to at least beat this man up, but it was Katara's decision. Yon Rha was a horrible, weak coward, a filthy excuse for a human being, and I wished I had at least punched him once.

Leaning back on Appa's head I stared into the sky and thought about the outcome of our journey. It seemed like Aang had been right. Violence sure as magma hadn't been the answer for Katara. Killing Yon Rha would have been a waste of time, a waste of breath. He wasn't worth it for Katara to become a killer, definitely not at an age that young.

Still, that man had been sent out to kill the last waterbender in the South Pole. And someone had told the Southern Raiders there was one. Someone must have betrayed Katara. Someone must have been okay with a little girl getting killed, and Yon Rha must have been okay with killing children.

I knew what war meant, what happened to people, and of the horrors in theory, but this made me sick. I couldn't wait for us to finally end this bloodshed. This wrongness in the world.

Suddenly I felt weightless for a moment, and in a panic I grabbed onto Appa's reins, before I ran up his neck to peek into the saddle. Katara grabbed onto the saddle's rest, looking at me with wide eyes.

"Appa must have fallen asleep!" she shouted, her body lifting up into the air, as the wind rushed around her hair and clothes.

I quickly jumped back and pulled harshly on Appa's fur to get him to wake up.

He let out a rumble, before he pushed himself into the air again.

"We have to land!" I shouted.

"There's just water!" Katara objected.

"There's always an island close by in the Fire Nation!" Narrowing my eyes, I looked back up at the night sky and read the stars. We had to go east, Ember Island could only be about half an hour away. At least, I hoped so.

I pulled on Appa's reins to make him change the course and tried to calm him with steady strokes against his head. "Just half an hour. You think you can manage that, buddy?" I murmured.

Technically, I knew Appa couldn't really understand us, but maybe he felt what we meant. He let out a low rumble, as he pushed his tail harder to fly faster.

"Where are we going?" Katara asked, sitting at the front of the saddle now, frowning at me.

"There's an island not far from here. We can rest there and get the others later." I hummed thoughtfully. "Maybe we'll even be able to stay there until Sozin's comet arrives. No one would think to look for us there."

She gave me a critical look, but didn't object, as she settled into the saddle again.

Since I was not in the mood of being accused of turning Katara in, I made Appa approach Ember Island from the non-inhabited side. We flew over mountains and rain forest, until the cliff, next to which our old summer house is built on, appeared below us.

Appa landed in the courtyard and immediately plopped down, letting out a huff.

"Are you hungry?" I asked Katara, who looked around warily.

We jumped down from Appa and she followed me slowly to the door that led into the kitchen.

"Yes. Where are we? It looks so grand."

I sighed. "This house belongs to the royal family." I looked at her, waiting for her to explode on me.

But she merely raised an eyebrow.

"It's our summer house and is meant for happy family holidays. And given the current state of our family, there won't be anyone coming here anytime soon. Azula and I went to Ember Island last month, and we didn't even live in this house," I explained, before I managed to open the door.

Inside, we found dried fish, rice, noodles, and dried mushrooms, tomatoes, and some fruit. Katara simply put some rice, the fish, mushrooms, and tomatoes in a pot with water and let it simmer. I lit the fire and put some herbs into the pot, but it was a fast and not talking much meal.

We waited, her sitting on the kitchen table, and me on a chair. I wanted to lean my chin on my hands and close my eyes, but my stomach rumbled, and the food smelled already so good.

"You knew about bloodbending," Katara suddenly said.

I looked up.

"You asked me if I could do it when the Duke got sick. And you weren't surprised when I did it yesterday." Her legs dangled from the table, her hands supported her behind her. The pose looked young, but her thoughtful face looked way too old for her.

I suppose all of us kind of were too old for our age. I was almost seventeen, so I liked to think of myself as not so much of a child than the others, but I was still a teenager. And from an adult's point of view, I might also still be a child, too.

"And Suki said you knew her waterbender friend. Is this how you know about bloodbending?" She looked at me.

I sighed. "Yes, but I didn't know it was called bloodbending." I hesitated. "Did… Suki tell you about Kilara?"

Katara raised an eyebrow. "Not about how you know her. Only that you do."

I nodded slowly. "She bent me once."

She jerked back. "What? I thought you were friends!"

"We… were. But… the situation was complicated, okay? We stood on two sides of a war, and… I guess I scared her that day. I behaved like an idiot, and she didn't want to see me after that for a while." I thought for a moment. "She did apologise about bending me, but she didn't explain to me how she did it. Do you really just bend people's blood?"

Katara grimaced. "That, too. I'm not an anatomy expert, but I think it's more than just bending blood. Any liquid in your body, really. I think it's even the water in your flesh. I don't just feel currents, I feel water everywhere in a human's body. There's just more of it in some places, and less in other places."

I hummed thoughtfully.

"Was… was the fact that you had a waterbender friend also a reason for why you changed sides?" she asked tentatively, after a moment.

I raised my eyebrow at her. This was definitely the longest time we had ever talked to each other without her insulting me or sending me away. And what was more, we even talked about ourselves. It felt weird and a little unsettling, but I would take what I was given.

"Kilara… definitely had something to do with it. But it's also her fault that it took me so long."

I don't know why, maybe it were Katara's open eyes full of blue, or the way she seemed to pay attention only to me, or because she didn't seem hostile for once, but I ended up telling her everything about Kilara's and my friendship. Apart from the fact that I had developed feelings for her back then.

Maybe Katara also needed a distraction from what had happened earlier today, and maybe discussing the friendship life of her former enemy and now ally was just what she needed. I don't know, but she kept asking questions, and I kept answering her.

I even got Katara to laugh, when I told her about how Uncle had tried to play matchmaker with Kilara and me. I noticed how Katara seemed to find embarrassing situations for me extremely amusing.

I rolled my eyes, when she started to laugh at me, as I told her about how badly I had handled the situation at the library with Mai, Kilara, and Denzai.

"Why is it so amusing to you when I'm in an uncomfortable situation?" I snapped.

She stopped chuckling, but her eyes still shone with laughter.

The rice had finished cooking, and we were already sitting in front of two steaming bowls of food. She let her chopsticks sink onto the bowl.

"Well… All I've ever seen of you was this angry, firebending, Avatar hunting guy. In the beginning, you weren't even human to me. Just evil. But then I noticed you were human. In this abandoned village… And in Ba Sing Se. It's just that I never would have thought of you as someone who is so easily flustered or so often embarrassed about something." She shrugged. "It makes you more human, which is comforting, but it also ridicules that horrible image I had of you, and that's funny."

"Well, I'm glad my uncomfortableness serves some good then," I said dryly, and she chuckled again.

All the bedding had been put away, so the only place to sleep that we found was in one of the living rooms.

I chose to use Uncle's room, as I had spent most of my time as a child in there, anyway.

My throat constricted when I looked around, seeing all the furniture covered with white linen, but still memories surfaced quickly. This was the table, on which I had always practised drawing, and where Azula and Lu Ten had nagged me to do something more active with them. During the holidays, I had tried to get out of firebending practice, because I hadn't been any good, and Lu Ten and Azula always won against me when we played our games. In the end, it had still always been fun.

This was the fireplace, in which Lu Ten had made fire flakes and stick bread with us. We had been caught after a few nights, and had had to clean the whole house as a punishment.

There was the carpet on which I had vomited when I had come down with the fever of the tropical millipede mosquito.

This was the couch, on which I had held a baby Azula in my arms, who had smiled at me, and giggled.

This was the chair on which Lu Ten had made my top knots, before I had worn the phoenix plume.

This is where Uncle had sat and told us stories about spirits, princesses, and war heroes. Azula had always pretended not to be interested in these stories, but she had always listened quietly until the end.

Mother had rarely been in this room, but when she had been, she had always drunk tea with Uncle at this table, while Lu Ten, Azula, and I had been otherwise occupied.

I sighed. There was no going back, I had already tried. Without Mother and Lu Ten, it could never have been the way it was.

I pulled the white sheets from the two couches. One had been for Uncle's family, the other for Ozai's or Grandfather.

I turned around to Katara, who looked around the room with a strange expression on her face.

The moon shone through the windows, white and blue light illuminating the furniture and us.

"We can also sleep in Appa's saddle, if you're not comfortable here," I said awkwardly, rubbing my neck.

She gave me a determined look before she shook her head. "How should I be able to defeat the Fire Lord, if I'm too scared to sleep in his house?" She marched over to one of the couches, and I walked to the other one.

"This was Uncle's room. You sleep, where he and my cousin sat, not where Ozai sat, so don't worry," I told her.

She scoffed. "I did not worry. But it's nice to know that." She rolled herself together. "Your uncle helped us in Ba Sing Se. Is he…?" she trailed off.

"He's alive," I reassured her. "He was imprisoned, but he freed himself on the day of the invasion. I'm sure he's fine. He's one of the most powerful firebenders in the world."

Katara nodded. "He seemed like a wise man."

"Yeah," I breathed. "Can I ask you something?"

"Depends."

"Why did you let Yon Rha go?" I was almost sure she wouldn't answer me, I was prepared to get a snapped reply back, but she surprised me.

"It felt like a waste. When I saw him, I didn't see someone the world would be better off without. I had thought it would be some heroic act of mine, that we would find a man who might be a serial killer or someone who terrorises innocent people in some kind of way. But if I had killed him… I don't think I would have felt better." She sighed. "It's already a lot that I could confront him about it. That I looked him in the eye, and that he knows there's someone out there who would and could kill him. I know he wasn't sorry in any kind of way, but I think my mother wouldn't have wanted me to become a killer at fourteen. And it wouldn't have brought her back." Her voice sounded hoarse, full with emotion.

"I would have understood if you would have done it," I said.

"I know. And I wanted to. But in the end, it's not important if he lives or dies. He's just a selfish, little insect who doesn't even love his own mother," she said with a cold tone in her voice, but it wasn't filled with hatred, only with contempt.

I stretched a little on my couch. "I don't know if I could have let him go," I murmured.

Katara was silent for a few seconds. "I don't know that either." Her head turned towards me. "But I'm glad you let me let him go."

I locked my gaze with hers. "Of course. It was your decision."

She opened her mouth, as if she wanted to say something else, but then she closed it again. "I'm going to sleep," she said instead.

I nodded and watched how she closed her eyes.

Before I fell asleep, my thoughts turned to Kilara as they had done every evening since Suki told me she had been imprisoned. I hoped she was okay. I hoped she would live until I had the chance to see her again. Until we defeated Ozai.

oOo

After I brought Aang, Sokka, Toph, and Suki back to the summer house on Appa, and was surprised by Katara's hug and acceptance of me in the group, things changed slightly.

I realised how much more pleasant it was when Katara liked you. I didn't have to walk on eggshells anymore, I was free to talk to her whenever I wanted, and I didn't tense up every time she entered a room or looked at me.

It was nice. And living in the house was, too.

Everyone had their own bedroom (except for Sokka and Suki, but I made sure to give them one far, far away from mine), there was a fully functional kitchen, doing laundry was easier, and there was a market in town, so that we didn't have to look for fruit trees on our own.

Behind the house, there was still the patch from which the servants had picked vegetables, but it had been overrun by weeds. I don't know why, but when I told Aang about it, he and Toph went back there to rip all the weeds out and grow new vegetables. I guess Aang just wanted to emphasise on being a vegetarian, and Toph liked mud, dirt, and earth. She drove Katara crazy, whenever she entered the house in this way, and Toph was either forced to bath or stay outside. She chose to stay outside and slept on Appa's saddle from then on. But that's how she started to reek of bison, too, and even Aang couldn't say anything pacifist, when we plotted to get Toph bathed.

Sokka wasn't that optimistic, as Katara had apparently already tried to bathe Toph quite often, and it had never worked.

But now there were Suki and I on the team, and we were stealthy warriors, so Katara thought we had a chance. But no one can sneak up on Toph, and since she wasn't hesitant to punch, kick, and throw with rocks, everyone was severely bruised, when we finally threw her into the bathtub.

Katara used her bending to wash Toph, who loudly complained and tried to get out of the bathtub.

When Toph was finally clean and dry, we were the ones wet and full of dirt.

The rest stayed the same. I woke up with the sun and practised. I had begun to practise even harder and expect more of myself. The comet was less than two weeks away, and Kilara needed us to hurry up with defeating Ozai. The earlier before the comet that we defeated the Fire Lord the better. For her and the Earth Kingdom. And the balance of the world, of course.

I had started to wake Aang half an hour earlier, and we worked on getting him to put more power into his shots. He needed to breathe more deeply, but he had such a tiny chest, and probably tiny lungs. And he was still reluctant to do anything in a violent kind of way, even if he was only punching air.

Sometimes, he still whined that he had to practise so much, or complained about needing a break, and that really made me snap.

"You think Ozai is going to give you a break when you fight him?" I snapped and shot a fireball at him.

"Whoa!" he exclaimed and quickly dodged. "Zuko, come on. I know he doesn't do that."

"You think Ozai will understand, if you mess up the first try? You think he would stand there and wait for you to try again?" I snarled, jumping and kicking a fireball in Aang's direction, advancing on him with the move.

He met the ball with his own fire, letting it dissipate. "Well, no…"

I darted towards him, went all on the offensive, until I pushed Aang back, who stumbled and fell on his back. He rolled away, then he supported himself on his arms and glared up at me.

"Well done, Avatar. You're dead. The world falls to the Fire Nation, and there won't ever be balance again," I said sarcastically.

Aang jumped up. "What's your problem?"

"Zuko, try to loosen up a bit," Katara said from the side. She sat on the steps to the archway leading from the main house to the servant's house, a glass of water in her hands.

I rounded on her, my hands clenched to fists. "I'm sorry, I'm trying to _**prepare **_Aang to win and not die!"

Katara frowned at me, as Aang spoke up again.

"I understand, Zuko. It's just that I'm tired. If I train too much, I will be too exhausted to face the Fire Lord. We can gradually progress so that in a few days I won't need a break anymore."

I glared at him, then held up two fingers. "You have two days with a break."

Then I stalked off.

The others seemed to have heard of this little argument, as everyone else (except Toph) kept their distance from me that day, and didn't even once say anything to tease me. Sometimes, it wasn't so bad to scare little children.

But sometimes I also got a bad conscience. Like the next day, when Sokka had the brilliant idea to play hide-and-shriek. I had never heard of it, so I didn't know the rules, but I thought the name already explained it pretty well. Sokka wanted us to play a game to relax a bit and do some team activity together, and I simply agreed, because I thought this could be turned into a battle exercise later on. First of all, I had to know how exactly the game was played.

Of course, I didn't tell anyone that this was my intention, as then everyone would have come up with an excuse why they suddenly didn't have any time at all.

So I simply grumbled "I hate games," while I watched Sokka convincing the others.

I noticed that Suki wasn't here, as it had been her turn to get some food in the village. Now I also knew why Sokka was bored, as he normally spent any free second with his lips or hands glued to Suki.

It was disgusting.

I ran along the artificially laid out park, which had flora from more temperate climate zones instead of the tropical plants from the jungle behind the house. In these grounds, the probability of getting bitten by anything poisonous was a little less high than in the jungle, so I dived into a bush and waited.

I crouched down, observed the path through a gap in the leaves and waited for Sokka to arrive. He would get the shock of his life. I would so win hide-and-shriek.

It took him a while to show up. He wore a weird, blue hat with flaps at the side and a binocular, with which he inspected some leaves on the grass. Momo was with him, sniffing the leaves. They crept closer towards my bush and I just waited for the right moment to strike.

I tensed, jumped up and let out the most terrifying roar I could manage, while forming claws with my fingers to get the right amount of shock out of Sokka.

His face was absolutely hilarious. His eyes were wide, his teeth bared and his throat tensed, while he let out a very high pitched shriek. He tripped over his own feet and fell on his butt.

"What was that?" he asked dumbfounded.

I grinned, as I pointed at him. "_**Ha! Got you! I win hide-and-shriek!**_"

Sokka sighed and gave me a dry look. "It's hide-and-_**seek**_, Zuko. I got _**you**_."

I stiffened. Surely, I had misunderstood. He hadn't actually won against me. I was still a little pissed because of his boomerang from last week.

I crossed my arms, shaking my head. "That's completely impossible. There only is hide-and-explode for firebenders and hide-and-shriek for nonbenders. Who would want to play something called hide-and-seek? It sounds lame."

Sokka got up from the ground and dusted off his clothes. "That's because you grew up in a stiff and militarised nation and have no idea what fun is. Hide-and-seek is played by normal kids."

I glared at him for a few seconds, waiting for him to crumble and admit that I was right and that I had won, but he just gave me a pointed look, and then he even raised an eyebrow at me!

With a grumbled "I really hate games!" I turned around and stalked off towards the house.

Aang and Katara had probably lost, too, because they were practising waterbending in the courtyard.

I couldn't see Suki anywhere, but I figured she must either not be back already or be in the house.

However, this was a great opportunity. Since I had got nothing out of hide-and-seek, I thought a little training could probably lighten my mood.

"Hey guys. I have an idea for your practice."

Katara and Aang dropped their water into the fountain and looked questioningly at me with curious faces.

I pointed at Aang. "You fight against Katara and me. You try to use firebending against her and waterbending against me." I turned towards Katara. "What do you say?"

She smiled. "That's a great idea. We've never worked with water and fire together before. As they are two opposites, and none of them is your original element, it should be quite interesting, right, Aang?"

He didn't look excited at the prospect.

"Make an effort," I reminded him, as I took my stance. "Or there won't be any break for you tomorrow," I added evilly.

Aang looked grim now and determined. Good. I hope this feeling would last.

It did.

He was panting heavily in the end, but a wide smile was stretched on his lips, when we ended our practice with bowing to each other.

I gave him a smile back. "That was good, Aang. Keep that up, and you'll be able to defeat Ozai."

His smile stretched into a grin.

Katara laid a hand on his shoulder. "I'm proud of you," she said.

He blushed.

oOo

How much of a child Aang was became evident to me again, after we returned to the summer house from watching that horrible play about us.

I had just been about to change into my night clothes, when it knocked on the door to my room. Sighing, I walked over and opened it.

Aang stood there, his hand in his neck, looking sheepish and determined at the same time. It was a strange look.

"What do you want?" I asked.

He looked around. "Can I come in?"

I stepped aside and closed the door behind him. For a few seconds I let him look around my room, before he turned his gaze back on me.

I raised an eyebrow. "What do you want?" I repeated.

"To ask you something," he replied, wringing his hands. "You see, I can't really ask Sokka about this, because he's Katara's brother, and you're the only other boy in our group, and you're older than me, so I guess you have more experience, and Sokka told me you already had a girlfriend. So you, er…"

I crossed my arms in front of my chest, beginning to think that this was the beginning of a very uncomfortable, and very cringe worthy conversation.

"I kind of have two questions," Aang said, turning his foot on the floor.

"Fine," I grunted, before I sat down on my bed. "Just spill it."

Aang's eyes widened hopefully, before he sat down in a chair facing me. "Okay, so, er, my first question is: Did you kiss Katara?"

My eyes widened in surprise and shock. "What?"

"Well, in Ba Sing Se, I mean. Or lately. Ever, I guess," mumbled Aang.

"No," I answered.

Aang stared intently at me, as if he tried to figure out if I was lying by simply looking at me.

"Why are you asking me that?" I probed, before I grimaced. "Does she think I want to kiss her?" Well, I wouldn't be completely opposed to the idea. Katara was pretty, and I was a heterosexual teenager, but I didn't really feel attracted to her. I still had feelings for Mai, although our non-existent relationship was pretty complicated right now. With me leaving her, locking her into a prison cell, and her fighting Azula off to save me... I guess she was now in a prison cell again.

"Just…" Aang sighed deeply. "That play, it… It made me insecure. I mean seeing your actors together."

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Aang, that was only a play. It's fiction. It's not real. The writer simply invented that between me and Katara for the story."

"But it makes sense, you know," he pouted.

I frowned. "What?"

"Well, the two of you together. You're taller than her and older, and you bend opposite elements, and Katara's first boyfriend had messy hair like you and fought with two swords, too…"

I immediately recoiled. "Are you talking about Jet?!"

Aang slowly nodded.

"Gosh, no. He and I have nothing in common!" I made a very denying cutting motion with my hands.

Aang shrugged. "Anyway, I'm just like a little brother to Katara. I'm not taller, and not older, or way too old, it depends on how you look at it. And she never actually showed any interest in me, I guess… And we never talked about things, and then she said she was confused…" He bent his legs and hugged his knees, let his chin sink onto them.

I grimaced. Wow, I wasn't really the one he should be talking to. I sighed. "First, simply because I'm the only one here taller and older than Katara who is not her brother doesn't mean we automatically feel attracted towards one another. Maybe it makes sense to you, as an observer from the outside, but attraction and love rarely make any sense at all," I quoted Uncle. "Secondly, what exactly did Katara say to you?"

"She said it was bad timing, because of the war. That she's confused."

I frowned. "Yeah, but… This might be the only time, because it's war." I rubbed my hand over my face. "I don't know what to tell you, Aang. I don't know Katara the way you do."

Aang perked up at that and smiled a little. "Well, yeah, that's true. But what would you do if you were in my place?"

My hand lifted to tap my chin, while I was thinking. "Well, I guess I would just tell her how I feel, and that I feel like it's now or maybe never, because there's a war going on that might kill all of us, and that I wouldn't want to live with the knowledge that I missed my chance because of cowardice. Then I'd tell her to think about it and tell me her answer, when she's ready." I took a deep breath. "Because no matter how pressing the circumstances, if you press a girl who doesn't want to be pressed it becomes uncomfortable for you. Very uncomfortable, and more often than not, you lose the girl completely," I told him.

Aang's eyes were huge. "Wow, that sounds sensible. You really must have a lot of experience."

I snorted. "I certainly do not."

"So if you never pressured a girl, how do you know it gets uncomfortable?"

I grimaced. "Because I've seen it with Uncle quite often. He's a ladies' man. And because I know Katara that well. She'll bite if you press too much."

Aang seemed to think about this very hard, before he lifted his head to smile at me. "Thanks, Zuko. I think you helped me quite a lot."

"Good." I stretched. "Because I'm very tired, and you…"

"No, but…!"

"What?"

"There's this other question I have…" Aang pressed the tips of his fingers together in a nervous manner.

I scowled at him. "Hurry up, I'm tired!"

"Okay, okay. Well, how do girls like to be kissed?"

Why, oh dragons, oh why did I have to have this conversation with him? I just hoped he wouldn't ask me about the blossoms and the butter bees, too.

After I told Aang what I knew about kisses (which was: prepare, draw the moment out to heighten the suspense, or give her the opportunity to move away, if it's not a kiss with your girlfriend; and surprising kisses are welcomed by girlfriends (at least by Mai)), he finally didn't have any more questions. I guess he had quite a lot to think about now.

And I could finally change into my pyjama and fall into bed, only to worry about Kilara again, before sleep finally got me.

oOo

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about my plan with Sozin's comet," Aang said lowly behind me.

I sighed, as I stopped my kata and turned around to look at him.

"I just thought you'd be disappointed and angry. Because I'm still too weak to defeat the Fire Lord. I know you gave everything up to help us, and I didn't want to disappoint you, Sifu Hotman." Aang bowed to me in traditional Fire Nation style.

"I'm not disappointed you don't feel like you're ready, Aang. I'm disappointed that you didn't trust me to react sensibly." I pinched the bridge of my nose. "I get why you feel unprepared. It's why I didn't tell you about my father's plan. I didn't want to increase the pressure on your shoulders."

"We will be able to do it, though, right? Together, I mean." He perked up and gave me a hopeful look.

I tried to smile. "Together, I'm sure we'll manage. There's something that I think will help you to finish him off, though."

Aang winced.

"He will definitely shoot lightning at you. He might expect it from you, since he knows I'm teaching you, but he doesn't know how it works."

"Lightning?" Aang asked, perplexed.

"There's one technique you need to know before facing my father. How to redirect lightning."

oOo

We were halfway across the ocean, when I went back from Appa's head to the saddle. Toph never slept in Appa's saddle, because she didn't feel comfortable enough, but she should really get some sleep. I trusted Appa to know how to fly to the Earth Kingdom.

"Toph?"

"Hm?"

I sat down across from her and cleared my throat. "Sorry for… earlier."

She looked away from me, and didn't say a word.

I sighed. "Look, I'm not good with friends, and listening, and sharing and stuff. I tend to focus on larger things. Like finding Aang. Now, and for the last three years. That's probably why I never had any friends, until I met Kilara. Or you guys. But even now, finding Aang and defeating the Father Lord are the most important things to me. But I'm sorry if I was mean to you."

She huffed. "You weren't mean, you cat squirrel. You're such a softie, you can't possibly be mean."

I raised an eyebrow. Okay, that was a first. Not even Azula had ever said that to me.

"You annoyed me, that's all," Toph added.

I nodded slowly. "Well, then I'm sorry for annoying you. I must actually say I admire you."

She perked up, turning her head towards me. "Really?"

"Yeah." I shrugged. "Your parents tried to turn you into someone you weren't, and you fought against that from the beginning. You're always so sure of who and what you are, of what you deserve that you didn't even hesitate to leave your home and follow Aang. I wish I could have had that sureness and courage a bit earlier."

She punched me in the arm. So I guessed everything was alright between us.

oOo

"Zuko?" Katara shook my arm.

Growling, I turned on my other side to see her sitting on Appa's other leg in front of me. "What?"

"I wanted to ask you something," she whispered, biting her lip nervously.

"What is it?"

"It's about Aang."

Had he told her what I had told him about girls and kisses? Oh, please not.

"Well, you always thought he should kill Ozai. You didn't even bat an eye. And you're his son. Is he really so awful that you wouldn't mind having him dead?" Her eyes were wide, and she looked worried, but it was hard to tell why. I was also so tired that I couldn't even really focus on her face.

"Yes, he is awful. That awful." I sighed, before I turned on my back to look at the stars. They always had something calming. "I'd prefer if he wouldn't die, I think. But it would be better for the world and Uncle if he'd die. Leaving him alive would always pose a threat to peace and Uncle's reign as Fire Lord. The father Ozai once was, and he was never really loving, but maybe… less cruel. That father is already gone for years. I wouldn't actually lose anyone if he'd die."

"So you think Ozai deserves it?"

I turned back to look at her, lying on my side. "He killed his own father. He would have killed the rest of his family, too, if it meant to get the crown. So, yes."

She shivered, before she started tugging at a strand of her hair. "He sounds awful. I hope Aang will be okay."

I blinked. Oh no. I probably had made her worries even worse!

"Aang knows how Ozai is. Aang is smart, and he's determined," (sometimes), "He's the only one who can do this." I didn't know what else to say. I really believed Aang could defeat Ozai, but I didn't know for sure if Aang wouldn't hesitate to take a life. And that moment would be all Ozai needed to take Aang's.

oOo

Seeing Uncle again had been… probably the most wonderful moment of my life. This is going to sound sentimental, but for the first time in a very long time had I felt real love in my heart again. I had felt comfortable, safe, and home. I had felt loved. And I knew that I was never going to betray Uncle again. He was more of a father than Ozai had ever been, and I would spend the rest of my life showing my gratitude and love towards him.

His scent was still the same, and even his hair was still the same. I was glad it hadn't become whiter or thinner. He looked strong, and that lifted a bit of my guilt for putting him in prison.

I had told him everything about my time at the palace, and how I had followed Aang to the Western Air Temple to teach him firebending. I told him about how I had met dragons, about how Sokka and I had been the first people to sneak into Boiling Rock and escape again, about searching for Yon Rha, I even told Uncle about the play The Boy in the Iceberg, and how we had played hide-and-seek, and that I hadn't known that game. Uncle listened, asked a few questions, nodded often, complimented me on the choices I made, and said about nine times that he was proud of me. My heart felt like it glowed every time he said that.

I still couldn't believe he had just forgiven me like this. But I was insanely happy that he had.

"The sun comes up in two hours. Why don't you sleep for a while, Nephew? We will have a lot to do in the morning," Uncle suggested.

I nodded. Now, that the adrenaline had left me and I felt comfortable, I realised just how tired I was. "But I first have to see how the others are doing."

"I'm sure someone showed them to a place where they can rest," Uncle reassured me.

I frowned. "Still. They are… they have a knack for getting into trouble," I said in an annoyed way.

Uncle let out a bellowing laugh. "I had always thought I would only hear you talking like this once you have children of your own!"

I sighed. "Well, it feels like I'm a babysitter sometimes." I stood up. "Do you want to come with me?"

Uncle nodded. "If they are still awake, I'd love to get to know your friends!"

I smiled.

Outside of Uncle's tent, I wanted to look for a member of the White Lotus, instead I found Katara still sitting there. Her forehead lied on her knees, and she had hugged her legs. Was she asleep?

I cautiously walked towards her. "Katara?"

She jerked up. "What? I'm awake! Zuko! How did it go?" She scrambled to her feet, yawning.

I raised my eyebrow in an amused way.

"Master Katara!" Uncle exclaimed and stepped around me. "I am delighted to see you again! And especially under the circumstances of officially fighting on the same side." He bowed lowly to her.

I blinked in surprise.

Katara looked at me questioningly.

I gave her a small smile and nodded.

A bright smile lightened up her face, and she returned Uncle's greeting. "General Iroh. I am also pleased to meet you. Officially now."

Uncle grinned.

A White Lotus member whom I didn't recognise showed us to the tent that was given to Suki, Sokka, and Toph. We peaked inside and noticed that they were all fast asleep. They had taken Katara's and my bag with them, which both lied in a corner.

"You two should get some sleep," Uncle said. "This tent is quite full, though. How about you take a smaller one for some privacy?"

I face palmed, and Katara tensed up. Why did Uncle say that? First Aang had thought there was something going on, then June, now Uncle?

"Uncle," I hissed through clenched teeth.

"What?" he smiled innocently.

I couldn't believe that it was mere hours that we had seen each other again, and he already tried to play matchmaker.

"We'll sleep in this tent," I said. "With our friends," I added tiredly.

Katara tried to hide herself behind her hair, as she bid Uncle good night and entered the tent.

I wanted to follow her, but thought again, and gave Uncle another hug.

"Sleep well, nephew," he said.

When I crawled around Sokka, Suki, and Toph to get to my bag next to Katara, she wouldn't look at me.

I grinned. "It's not so funny for you when you're part of an embarrassing situation for me, right?"

She scowled at me, then murmured "Ha ha, shut up," and turned around.

I chuckled, before I laid my bedroll out and closed my eyes.

"Good night, Zuko," said Katara. "I'm glad your Uncle forgave you."

I smiled. "I'm glad, too. Good night."

Two hours later, the sun woke me up and I went outside to do some firebending practice. Uncle and Jeong Jeong seemed to think the same thing and invited me to come with them. First, we did breathing exercises.

Jeong Jeong smiled at me and said that other than Aang I knew how to breathe. Uncle said I had definitely improved my technique. I told them that Aang had actually helped me. He had never been a big fan of fire mediation, but sometimes I had sat with him when he meditated in the Air Nomad style. Feeling the air feeding my fire had become easier for me.

Uncle said again that he was proud of me and that I had improved immensely since we had last seen each other. I smiled widely at him.

I did my stretching and muscle training then, and Uncle showed off his new muscles. He grinned proudly and said he had done all of this at the prison. His belly was sure gone.

After breakfast, Uncle invited me to a round of pai sho, and even though I really didn't want to play pai sho, I really couldn't say no. Toph was still asleep, and Katara had excused herself to go to the creek nearby for waterbending practice.

Uncle, however, had actually not wanted to teach me pai sho, but a few codes of the White Lotus. Master Pakku from the Northern Water Tribe was there, too, and they showed me some moves on the pai sho board which all meant different things to a member of the White Lotus. It almost seemed like a completely different language, when suddenly the ground shook violently.

"What's happening?" Master Pakku asked, sounding shaken.

I frowned. Earthquakes in this region weren't very common. Maybe earthbenders? But why should any earthbenders cause such a ruckus?

The pai sho tiles skidded to other places and Uncle smiled delightedly. "Looks like I won."

My eyes narrowed. I thought… Never mind. I would never understand pai sho.

Jumping up, I walked outside to be met with Master Piandao who had just wanted to enter the tent. "Are we under attack?" he wanted to know.

I felt my blood freeze over. Shit, what if we were under attack? What if the fire military had seen Appa and sent someone after us? Of course, bombs would be able to make the earth shake like this, too.

Master Jeong Jeong came running at us. "Where are the kids?"

I had just seen Sokka and Suki outside with Bumi. Toph had to be awake already, but Katara… She was all alone at the creek!

"I'll find them!" I growled and started running towards the sounds of battle. "I just hope I'm not too late!" I murmured, while I ran past tents and finally through the woods. It was right in front of me, I could hear it. The sounds became louder.

It weren't bombs, though. It simply sounded like earth. Maybe some Ba Sing Seans didn't want the White Lotus here. Or it could be Dai Li agents who defended the Fire Nation.

If it were Dai Li agents, I didn't know what I could do. I trusted Toph and Suki to hold them off. But Katara wouldn't have much water over there. And the rocks of the Dai Li could simply splash through the water. And Sokka had his sword, and he was smart, but what if they bent the earth under his feet?

There was a cliff behind the forest and the sounds came from the gorge underneath. I carefully made my way down. I had to pay attention, and only saw what was going on when I was almost on the ground.

Bumi was earthbending. Toph was punching through his rocks. They both had huge grins on their faces. There were rocks lying around everywhere, and I was fairly certain the gorge hadn't looked like this before.

"What the…?" Then I spotted Sokka, Suki, and Katara.

No Dai Li, hostile earthbenders, or fire military in sight.

"Explain yourselves!" I barked at Sokka.

He raised one fist in the air. "It's the ultimate earthbending showdown! Two opposing styles! Two opposing age groups! One winner!"

I came to a halt in front of them. Suki smiled and shrugged hopelessly. Yeah, we all knew how Sokka could get.

Master Pakku, Master Jeong Jeong, Master Piandao, and Uncle had arrived now, too.

Katara had her hands on her hips and looked very much like a discontent teacher, while she was throwing glares at Sokka. "He had the brilliant idea to make them duel each other, because they both think they're the best earthbender in the world!" Katara explained to me in a cold, biting tone, kicking Sokka lightly in the shin.

I groaned and face palmed. "You've got to be kidding me!"

"Go Bumi!" Uncle shouted. "Old people represent!"

I glowered at him.

"We thought there was an attack! I thought you were all captured or hurt!" I snarled at Sokka.

He just waved at me dismissively. "Relax. Everything's under control."

"I don't think this bending battle is such a good idea," Master Pakku said. "It could give away our location."

My eyes widened as I realised he was right. Sokka could be such an idiot sometimes.

"Yeah, aren't we supposed to be hiding?" Master Jeong Jeong remarked.

Sokka put his chin between his thumb and forefinger. "Hmm… You have a point." He held up a tiny gong and began to bang it. "_**The ultimate bending battle is officially over!**_"

I could barely see Toph or Bumi, there were so many giant rocks flying around, causing earsplitting noises.

"I don't think they can hear the bell," Sokka realised with a frightened look on his face.

"Oh, really?" said Katara sarcastically.

I looked over at Uncle. He should have an idea.

Master Pakku looked at him with a grim grin. "I guess we'll have to stop it, _**bender style**_!"

The masters all nodded at each other, and I looked from Uncle to Katara, who gave a grim nod back.

We darted forward into battle. I had to jump out of the way of several rocks, I got once flung in the air, when the ground under me formed into a rock, and I jumped onto another one which was flying from Bumi to Toph. She crumbled it, but I used my firebending to push me up, before I landed in front of her after the rock had covered the earth. I rolled up and darted forward, grabbing Toph's wrist.

She might have not realised I was there, because she stiffened shortly, still in a bending pose.

"_**Alright! Break it up!**_" I shouted.

Uncle had raised a fire wall between us and Bumi, and Master Piandao was cutting through all still flying rocks.

Katara, Master Pakku, and Master Jeong Jeong had Bumi surrounded with water, fire, and lots of steam, until I couldn't even see him.

"Hey!" Toph complained. "Why are you all stopping us?"

"Because this ruckus could draw our enemy's attention to our camp," Master Piandao explained.

"Oh." Toph nodded. "Right. Well, I guess that's okay. I wouldn't have wanted to humiliate an old man anyway." She turned around and walked up the hill back to camp.

"Who're you calling an old man, you baby?" Bumi shouted from behind the steam and came running at Toph.

I quickly went between them.

"You. That's who, pops," Toph answered nonchalantly.

"I understand that you're disappointed you lost against me, little girl, but…" Bumi began in a patronising tone.

"Lost?" Toph bellowed. "I clearly won, you tottery grandpa!"

Bumi started to laugh. "Well, it seems you've never won before if you think that was a victory."

"I'm an Earth Rumble champion. Of course, I've won before. I just guess your senses have become dull with age. But I'll be considerate of this, of course. So that your old ears can hear it: _**YOU LOST**_!"

"In your dreams," Bumi replied.

Toph threw a pebble at him, and before they could start hauling larger rocks at each other again, I brought my arms out to keep them apart from each other.

Bumi stuck his tongue out towards Toph.

"You both need to start acting your age!" I snarled at them.

"Phpthh," Bumi snorted.

Toph pushed her sleeves up, as if she was ready for another round.

"So who won anyway?" Suki asked Sokka in front of us.

I glared at him. I was not in the mood for another petty fight. Besides, we had more important things to worry about. We still didn't know where Aang was, and we still had a Fire Lord to defeat.

"As referee, I have to say it was a draw," Sokka answered. He laid an arm across Suki's shoulders.

Just now did I realise how destroyed the camp looked. It really looked like the battle had been here, or as if there had been a very strong earthquake.

Katara stood at the side, watching the chaos, and shooting disapproving glances at Sokka, Bumi, and Toph.

"We'll just have to have a _**rematch**_ later," Sokka went on.

"Sweet!" Toph pushed her fists in the air.

Bumi chuckled.

I stared after them, shocked and completely speechless. A what? A rematch? Were they completely out of their minds now?

Katara face palmed.

oOo

After the fight with Azula, the fire sages came to Katara and me and bowed down. They proclaimed me to be the next Fire Lord. They said the coronation could be later, looking at my torn and burnt clothes, but said I already held all the power to rule the Fire Nation in my hands.

That's the moment I blacked out.

When I woke up again, I was in my old room, lying in my bed. On one side of me lied Katara, on the other side the crown.

The fact that the crown was mine, even though it hadn't been put in my head yet, meant I was Fire Lord, even though not officially. I took a few deep breaths to calm down, but felt that my chest hurt too much for very deep breaths. I tried to sit up, but I could barely lift my head.

Katara stirred next to me, and immediately pressed her glowing water hands against my chest again. "You should have woken me up."

I swallowed. "I'm also only awake for seconds."

"You're definitely not going to die," she said reassuringly, but her forehead wrinkled with worry. "But only if I'll constantly heal you for some time. I managed to put the energy of the lightning into the centre of the scar, but it would try to reach out if I'm not pushing it back every few hours."

My eyes widened.

Katara looked up from her hands at me. "You realise you were burning from the inside out, right?"

I blinked at her.

She sighed. "Well, when the lightning hit you, it burnt your insides. It left you again, but you kept burning up, the energy had messed up your own energy, and your chi paths. Until I have completely righted your chi paths, it will still hurt you, and the negative energy in the middle won't go away completely. I can reduce it, but like I said, I'll have to push it back quite often."

I nodded. "Okay. Thank you, Katara."

She squeezed my hand. "Of course." Then she looked around the room. "I hope it's okay that I stayed here. I just thought I'd better notice you waking up, and then I can heal you again."

"Sure. I'm actually glad I didn't wake up alone," I replied.

She smiled shortly, before she got up. "Do you feel like eating? Or maybe drinking some tea? There are still some servants at this palace left, and they were all too eager to help you." She grinned.

I grimaced. "I doubt that. They are not big fans of the royal family with how we treated them."

"Oh, I don't know. I talked to a lot of them, and they all say that you were the friendliest of all of them. Apparently, even your punishments were nice." When Katara said that, it sounded like she was teasing me.

My heart started to beat faster. Servants had been a very uncomfortable thing for me, after I had been back here. And I had thought that I had been horrible to them. Really horrible. I mean, I had yelled quite often at them, or snapped, or been difficult in any other way, and then there had been that girl begging me, after I had punished her, just because she had forgotten I didn't want any tea. Dragons, I was disgusted with myself. I felt embarrassed, too. I knew I hadn't been in the best place back then, but I hoped I would be able to stop letting my frustration out on others.

"For example, there was this one girl, she was almost raving about you," Katara added, and I heard the evil tone in her voice.

"I'm injured," I said. "You can't make fun of me."

She laughed, before she came back into my vision. She had probably fixed her hair, because it was in a plait now. "No, seriously. You've been out for almost twenty-four hours. Aren't you hungry?"

I frowned, while I tried to listen to my stomach. It didn't tell me anything. I took a few breaths. My inner sun was still there, but was I hungry?

"I don't think that I can eat," I replied. I bit down on my lip, hard. It hurt. It felt like the lightning was still in my chest, burning my flesh away, burning around and down. It made sense what Katara had told me.

"You can't?" Katara asked and sat down next to me. She leaned closer over me to look me in the eye.

I swallowed. "I think it will hurt."

"And since when do you care about a little pain to survive?" she shot back. "You've got to eat something! Or at least drink some water! It's important you stay hydrated. Or I will bend water into you!"

I really didn't want to feel that. "Okay. I can drink something."

oOo

Later that day, a fire hawk arrived, meant to inform us that Ozai… was defeated.

As Katara read that out loud, I saw tears welling up in her eyes. Two letters came in. One from Uncle and one from Sokka.

_Dear Katara and Zuko,_

_I hope you managed to kick Azula's butt, and that you showed her her place. _

_Hopefully, you are both fine. We are fine. Well, I broke my leg, but nothing else happened to us. _

_Oh, and Aang showed up. He waited for Ozai at the coast line, and they battled, while we destroyed the fleet. That was pretty cool. _

_Well, Ozai and Aang fought, and then Aang went into the Avatar state and pulverised Ozai, but he still didn't want to kill him, so he just bent Ozai's energy and took his bending away._

"What?" I tried to sit up, but Katara pushed me gently back down.

"Sh."

_We took one of the airships, put all the soldiers in the brig, and are now on our way to you. If Azula won against you, we're going to save you._

_Sokka, Aang, Toph, Suki_

Katara pressed the letter to her chest, as tears fell down her cheeks.

"Wow," I said lowly. "They made it."

Katara smiled. "Yes! Your uncle was right, Zuko. Destiny was our friend."

I scoffed. "I don't believe in destiny."

She frowned. "Er… you're the one who said it's your destiny to help Aang restore the balance to the world."

"Yeah. But that was a choice. Destiny feels like someone is controlling us. And how could it have been destiny that the world was at war for a hundred years? That so many innocent people died, and that…," I stopped. That my father was the worst person on earth. How could this all have been predetermined? It sounded wrong.

Before I had left the Fire Nation, I had always believe in destiny. It was my destiny to serve my country. Then it became my destiny to lead our country one day. Then it became my destiny to capture the Avatar and win this war. But now I had made a choice that had led to the end of the war. Nothing had forced me to leave the capital, no divine power, no spirit telling me that I had to go. I'd made that choice. I had made the choice to change sides. Of course, someone could say that changing sides had been my destiny all along, but then did I even have a free will?

Urgh, that was a little too deep for me, when I was still suffering from a lightning burn.

Katara looked a little sad, maybe compassionate.

"Er…" I cleared my throat. "Well, anyway, Aang won. And he could energy bend. That's crazy."

Katara took the topic change without hesitation. "I always knew he could do it."

I raised an eyebrow.

She rolled her eyes. "Fine, I know he has his moments, but from the moment on that he destroyed your ship, I knew he was powerful. He was the only one who could have done this."

I nodded. "Yes. It's like Uncle said. Only like this, could the war end peacefully. And what does his letter say?"

_"Dear Nephew, dear Master Katara,_

_I hope this letter finds you in well shape, although I'm sure that the two of you together defeated Azula. _

_We have managed to fight the fire military in Ba Sing Se and to reconquer the city in the name of the Earth King. Most of the military gave up, after we defeated them and said they would like to go home to their families. Some also exclaimed the wish to continue to serve our nation, even in times of peace. This made me very happy. _

_The Earth Kingdom people begin to trust us, and I was able to prepare the Jasmine Dragon for the grand reopening. Maybe an old lady friend of your will show up..._

_Please be crowned soon, Nephew. I am sorry that I won't be able to see it, but the throne can't stay empty for long. There are still people in the Fire Nation who support Ozai. Please be careful and act smart, Zuko._

_I am so proud of you. _

_Uncle_

oOo

It took two days for me to be able to sit up. That was when Aang, Sokka, Suki, and Toph arrived here. I was glad I didn't have to see my father.

Apart from the servants and fire sages, no one else who was loyal to me was in this palace. I knew Katara was afraid of a coup. Me, too.

I hated not being able to move and fight.

But no one else entered the palace. The whole city seemed like a ghost town, as there were actually a lot of families which had retreated to their country houses when Azula had ruled. Apparently, she had begun to banish people, and everyone had been afraid they would be next. There were no Dai Li agents left and no soldiers. Just normal people.

When I slept during the day, Katara sometimes went into the city to look after the people. She told me what they did and what they talked about. It wasn't very informing, though.

So Katara and I felt great relief, when the others arrived. We weren't alone in this anymore. And what's more, the Avatar was here, and with him the evidence of the defeat of Ozai's regime. An attack at the palace would be harder now.

Ozai was put in a cell in the dungeons, and Toph locked it with her metalbending. So she was the only one who could open his door or bring him food. Before she did so, she always bent chains from the floor to his feet and hands, making sure he couldn't move much. I was glad that she was so cautious. Toph could talk big, but fortunately, she still had her common sense.

But Aang, Sokka, Suki, Toph, and Ozai weren't the only ones who arrived. They also brought the soldiers with them.

Katara gave me something against the pain, healed me again, and then we made our way to the throne room. When I stood in front of the throne, she healed me again to make sure I would be able to survive the next minutes, as I wasn't really strong enough to stand. Since I wasn't officially crowned, I refused to sit down in the throne.

Sokka, Toph, Suki, and Aang brought the soldiers in. Most of them were part of the imperial guard, Ozai's private guards, others had been soldiers of the air force. All the engineers and navigators hab been put in the dungeons for now. I would see them after seeing the soldiers.

I held the crown in my hand. It was the sign of my new power in front of these people.

I started to sweat.

There were probably eighty or even more people cramped up in the throne room. I knew most of them were firebenders, and they could easily overpower me, so I had to show them how powerful I was. In a different way than Ozai. I had not had the opportunity to practise for this yet, so I needed to speak from my heart.

"I am Prince Zuko," I introduced myself. "And I am your future Fire Lord. Ozai's reign of terror, anger, and war is over. All of you are welcome to quit your service to the military. The Fire Nation won't need such a large military in the future. You are, however, also welcomed to stay. No one will force you into anything." I took a deep breath. "But the times of war are over, and if you won't be able to accept this, there'll be consequences. A lawsuit will be started against every member of the fire military. If you always acted according to our law, and didn't use unnecessary violence or hurt innocent people, then you have nothing to fear. You will be able to leave, go to your families. I understand that some of you must be angry that I decided to end the war. But I hope that with time you will see the ugliness of it, and will admire the beauty of a simple and peaceful life. I hope that I'll be able to send every one of you back to your families and loved ones. I also hope that you will all find your place in this new world, and that you won't give me a reason to take any moves against you. You will be given the opportunity to take an oath to the crown again after your lawsuits." I widened my stance, as the pain in my chest became worse. "I would also like to assure you that the war's end doesn't mean that the Fire Nation lost. This is a victory for all the nations, and we will work together as equals in the future. I will not let the Fire Nation get undermined by the others, but we will also pay the rightful and a sensible price to the other nations for all the suffering that we caused them. My first concern is, however, the wellbeing of the Fire Nation. I hope that with time you will be able to see my reasoning behind this. That is all."

They rose to their feet, and I was glad not to see helmets, but faces. I think most of them looked just confused, but I really didn't look intently at them, as I only cared about the fact that they should leave fast so that I could sit down, or lie down and have Katara give me pain killers or heal me again. Honestly, I didn't care, as long as it was something.

When the last person finally left the room, I sank to my knees and back on my butt with a painful groan.

"Zuko! Is it bad?" Katara asked, as she knelt down beside me, her water gloved hands now pressing against my chest again.

"I don't think I'm ready for standing," I hissed, as I leaned back to lie down.

The water healing calmed the negative energy again, that felt like a beast which wanted to eat me from the inside out.

I sighed deeply, when the pain became less.

"There's one group down, Zuko. Not that many from the airships are left," said Katara.

oOo

Sokka brought up the issue of the war prisoners that evening. He thought it was more important to free them than to look into the crimes of the military.

I thought it was bad to have an innocent man sitting in a prison, whether they were a war prisoner or a Fire Nation soldier. We couldn't favour one group over the other, though. I was responsible for my people now, I couldn't favour other nationalities over them. But I also had a debt to pay to the other nations.

Besides, I wanted to search the prison near the capital at first, because maybe Kilara was still here. We already knew that she not in the dungeons.

Since I could barely walk, I wrote some letters to the wardens of the prisons of the Fire Nation. I let them know what happened, that the Avatar had taken Ozai down, that this had ended the war, and I would be their next Fire Lord. They would have to send me every war related document.

In the meantime, Katara was almost always around to look after me. Sokka found that funny, because apparently Katara acted like my mother. That made her very angry and she started to whip Sokka's butt with water.

Aang hung out in my room pretty often, too. He told us everything about the fight with Ozai in detail, and when we interrupted him rather rudely to want to know why he had disappeared in the first place, he told us the weirdest story about a lion turtle.

While travelling around with Aang, I think the others had just accepted at some point that weird things simply happened to Aang, because he was the Avatar. While chasing them and being part of their group for a while I had to agree. After Aang ended his story, I just felt like 'Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?', but I kept my mouth shut and nodded simply.

Toph only came to my room to complain about something, and Suki just to check on me or bring me something she had taken away from a servant whose job it had been to bring me that thing. I guess she also waited for news about Kilara.

When the documents finally came in, she begged me to let her look through those from the capital.

"You need help, Zuko," she stated. "You can't do this all on your own, that's for sure. It's too much. And you want to be a responsible Fire Lord, right? Not favour someone over all the others? It just makes sense for you to give me those documents. I'm a leader, too, and I'm able to look through them, while determining their punishments as rightful, too strong, or too weak. I won't neglect the fire people in favour of the other nations, either. Pleeeeaaaase!"

"It makes sense, Zuko," said Katara.

"Yes, as future Fire Lord, you should approach this more neutrally," Sokka agreed.

"Fine," I snapped and handed Suki the documents from the capital prisons.

"Thanks!" she cried out and ran off.

The first people to free, which was a very easy decision, were the forces of the invasion. It were less people than I had thought, though.

We would be able to put them all in the guest quarters, which gave the servants quite a lot to do. They weren't enough, though, as Azula had fired or banished some of them. The head of the servants, a man in his fifties named Dairu told me about this issue.

"Do you think the banished or fired servants would like to come back?" I asked him.

He seemed a little nervous, and I thought that no royal had probably ever invited him to sit, while they spoke to him. He fidgeted around in his seat and often looked back at the door.

"I think so. It is an honourable job to do, and I'm sure most of them haven't found any others yet. They need the money."

I nodded. It had become easier for me to sit, and I hoped I would be able to walk around normally soon. I couldn't look so weak when I was going to be the new Fire Lord.

"Do you maybe know how to contact them?"

He nodded. "Yes, Your Majesty. There's a register in which all their addresses are written down. I can see to it that they will all get invitations to serve in the palace again."

I frowned. "I would prefer if the register would be sent to me. I can write the invitations."

Dairu's mouth formed a little o, but he was fast to get a grip of himself. He bowed his head. "Of course, Your Majesty."

The new title was still weird, especially since I wasn't officially Fire Lord yet.

The fire sages arrived the next day and told me it was important to crown me soon. I couldn't keep not being officially the Fire Lord, as it was a weakness for the country not to have a Fire Lord sitting on the throne. They had read the stars, the sun, and the ocean, and had decided that I was best to be crowned in two days. The same day on which the war prisoners of the Southern Water Tribe and the Earth Kingdom from the day of the invasion were bound to arrive here. Aang thought it was great, but I wished they could arrive here earlier. I didn't want to have to do with so many things on one day only.

Many servants arrived at the palace as answer to my invitation, and were promptly loaded with the tasks for the preparation of the coronation.

Dairu shooed the servants around, as they tried to clean everything, and embellish everything. Dragon banners were pulled out of ancient chests, and the whole palace became decorated with flowers. Aang and Katara had volunteered to help Dairu pick a theme.

I thought this was a bit too much, but then they insisted on an after party, as every coronation demanded a banquet _and_ a buffet (Sokka's words). I also thought it would be a good moment to introduce myself to the court and nobles, who were all invited. I couldn't really leave anyone out, but I knew I would fire some of the ministers or advisors after I would be crowned.

The only nobles I was glad to see after my coronation were Mai and her family. Well, and Ty Lee, although only her mother and her sisters had showed up. I had never before seen all of Ty Lee's sisters, but it was… disconcerting. It highly unnerved me, because it felt like there was a Ty Lee everywhere in the room.

On the day of my coronation, my wound had healed well enough so that I could walk again and stand for a long amount of time. It was uncomfortable and sometimes it felt like I was stabbed over and over again, or like the little beast in my chest moved around to make its bed like a deerdog, but it was bearable. Katara said I shouldn't take any pain killers anymore.

I was sad that Uncle couldn't be here, but apparently, he held now the command over Ba Sing Se, and couldn't simply leave. Master Piandao and Master Pakku arrived instead. I was pretty sure Master Pakku had only volunteered to come along to see Katara and Sokka.

Mai, Toph, and Katara barely left my side during the whole party, claiming they would protect me from the disapproving guests or any assassination attempts. Between these three girls, I knew nothing could hurt me.

Aang was busy entertaining the guests, and Sokka tried to talk to everyone at the same time. He was quite set on learning as much about this court as possible. He also made quite a lot of sarcastic comments insulting the nobles.

Suki was mostly with her warriors, as she hadn't seen them in a long time.

And I had to talk to everyone. Regardless of their nation, it was uncomfortable. I was met with suspicion, distrust, disapproval, and downright contempt from most of them. The only people apart from my friends or girlfriend being nice to me were Hakoda, Teo's father, and Pipsqueak.

Hakoda, Teo, the Duke, Haru, and Chit Sang had hid close to a Fire Nation town with a military base, so that they were able to hear any news. When they had heard we had won the war, and I would become Fire Lord, they had immediately packed their things and come here. It was a lucky coincidence that they had arrived here today.

But I was happy to see that some Fire Nation guards, servants, nobles, and even a few ministers seemed genuinely happy to see me be crowned Fire Lord. Almost every one of them said they were happy it was me and not Azula. Just the thing about ending the war, and having Water Tribe, and Earth Kingdom people, and the Avatar here today was met with uncomfortableness and suspicion. Quite a few ministers warned me about not letting the Fire Nation fall into the hands of the enemy. I told them they were not our enemy, but that I had no intention whatsoever to give the other nations any power over the Fire Nation.

At the end of the party, there were fireworks.

And I must say, when my father had been crowned Fire Lord, no one had laughed, there hadn't been any smiles, no one had been amused or entertained, and no one had looked happy.

So, in the end, I was glad we had made this party. I was happy that I had started my reign very differently from how father had started his.

oOo

After I was officially Fire Lord, I was able to send out word of the war ending to all military bases of the Fire Nation, ordering all soldiers and military forces to come back to the homeland. I also sent a letter to Uncle with an official offer of peace for the Earth Kingdom. Katara wrote letters to her grandmother and the chief of the Northern Water Tribe to tell them that Aang had defeated Ozai, and that I, a late ally of their group, had become the new Fire Lord.

It was really a lot of work. I just had to do paper work mostly, and I was very glad that Katara, Suki, Sokka, and Aang helped me in the beginning. Toph was a little annoyed, because she couldn't really help with paper work, but she had good ideas sometimes.

Sokka tried to make me lists with the Fire Nation politicians I could trust or not trust. We tried to work out how to determine who was trustworthy, and how to get rid of the not trustworthy people without making them angry.

I also had to form a plan about what to do with the soldiers who returned from the Earth Kingdom. I didn't think our society would just take a wave of work searching people in stride. There would be thousands of people coming home, thousands looking for a new job. I really hoped most people would quit their military service, as I didn't know what a soldier's job should contain in times of peace.

My idea about the trials was to start with the lower ranked soldiers. They had never been considered first, and they were the majority of the military, most of them had been forced into the army. I wanted them to be the first people for once, at least.

Suki, however, said that it would take way too long to have all of them stand trial and then get on to the higher ranked military officers. There were around a hundred people in the military who were higher ranked than a common foot soldier, of which we had thousands of them. So we decided on starting with the lower ranking soldiers, but having one higher ranked officer each day, too. It was good to have a plan, although it would still take weeks before they would arrive here.

In the meantime, I had the rest of the war prisoners from the prisons stand trial. There weren't a lot of war prisoners in Fire Nation prisons, but quite a lot in the Earth Kingdom. Those from the Earth Kingdom would be brought here, too. I was fairly sure they would all get freed and proved innocent, but I knew there could be some real assholes on either side of the military. And I didn't want a soldier who had acted dishonourably or brutally freed, simply because their whole nation was deemed to be the victim. And as long as the Earth King didn't start arguing, I would do that. They were still prisoners of my nation.

Suki hadn't found Kilara in any of the documents, but she had marked every Earth Kingdom rebel leader, all of those were imprisoned at the prison in the capital.

There were twenty-seven of them. But there were no ages noted, nor genders. With some of the names, I had no idea what person to expect.

With every one of them I hoped it was Kilara. Every one of them could be her. But they never were. They were all adult men, all non-benders, as the prisons for earthbenders were only at the sea.

During the half of the trials, Uncle sent a letter asking for help in searching the Earth King. Sokka immediately got a guilty face, and told me it was him who had encouraged the Earth King to be off and travel the world. Since he had started this, he was also going to solve this problem. Suki went with him, of course, and since they needed Appa, Aang came along, too. He left Momo with Katara so that she would have something of his. Her eyes went wide at this, and she blushed a little.

She and Toph stayed here, though. Toph didn't want to leave yet, and she hated flying, and Katara still needed to tend to my wound. They also had started to sleep on my couch or in my bed, saying my guards were useless, and I should be thankful for their protection. I was very thankful, but I didn't like being treated like some weakling. And I barely got any sleep, as Toph snored, and Katara kicked and punched in her sleep.

But just to prove them right, a warrior group, sent from House Ueda, attacked me during the first night Katara and Toph slept in my room. Without them, I would be dead.

In a way, it had been good, though, that House Ueda had attacked me, as I had looked for a reason to get rid of Count Ueda. He had been the general I had disrespected during the fateful war meeting three years ago. And I didn't want to work with anyone who would send untrained soldiers into sure death. But now, I simply accused him of treason. It was better that way, especially for my reputation, but it also meant more paperwork.

In the morning, I worked on forming a just punishment and accusation for Count Ueda, as he would still stand trial. And from the late morning on, the trials of the war prisoners began.

My chest had started hurting again, as it was late afternoon now, and I had listened to the accusations to five rebels today. Those all seemed to be pretty exaggerated, and the former rebels all told me their story in a more realistic light. Until now, none of them seemed to have behaved dishonourably before or during their imprisonment. They had simply done what everyone would have done. Protecting their homes.

But when the next prisoner arrived, it was a stranger procession than all the others. The prisoner was not in shackles. Instead, they were hauled over the shoulder of a guard, looking incredibly small and thin, like a child.

My throat constricted.

Next to the guard, was an interrogator, one of these who only worked for prisons. They weren't well seen in the Fire Nation, as they were mostly used to beat the prisoners up, provoke them, or simply annoy them.

The guard put the person down so that they knelt on the floor, their head hanging down. I thought it was probably a boy, as they had short, tousled hair. Then the guard and the interrogator knelt down, too. I couldn't see any anger in their faces towards me, which was a good sign.

I glanced over at Katara, who stared at the prisoner in a shocked way.

None of the others had looked so fragile.

"You may rise," I said to the interrogator and the guard.

The interrogator cleared his throat. "Your Majesty, this is war prisoner 17. She was a rebel leader, caught just about over a month ago. 17 played a major role in the rebellion of the Armadillo Lion in Ba Sing Se. She's who they call the Lioness."

Prisoner 17 was called Liwei. I remembered that name from the document. When I had read it, I had wondered if this person knew Kilara, as they must have been part of the same rebellion. Maybe they had led it together. But I hadn't thought she was a girl.

I swallowed, trying not to get my hopes up too much, and nodded. "Continue," I said.

"There were rumours and even a full report from Ba Sing Se about some astounding powers of 17, which could be useful for our nation. While she was imprisoned, we've been trying to control these powers." He swallowed. "She can… make people move the way she wants to."

Impossible.

I knew there couldn't be that many coincidences.

There couldn't be two bloodbender girls in their teens, leading a rebellion in Ba Sing Se.

I almost fell over my feet, as I got up and walked down the steps to them. I didn't pay any attention to the interrogator and the guard, as I simply stared at the person kneeling on the ground.

Nothing about her reminded me of Kilara. But I couldn't see her face. Her clothes didn't fit, and were torn at some places. She was clean, though. The other prisoners had all looked way filthier.

As I got closer, I noticed her hair wasn't evenly cut, but the colour… The light from the lamps shone onto light auburn hair, which almost looked like it had the colour of a wildfire itself, in this light.

I saw her hands. They had the right shade, the right size, but the nails were too short. Still, her hands looked clean and unhurt.

"Stand," I said, hoping my voice wouldn't shake.

She shifted her weight to her hands.

I frowned.

"Y-your Majesty, she is not in her right mind," the interrogator said. "Her powers are dangerous to us, as long as we can't control them, so she has to be drugged. Her body can't respond well to her mind, which works slower than normal. We used a concentration of the smoke poppy's juices. So it's not addictive."

I shortly glanced at him, then back at the imprisoned girl before me, who still knelt on the floor. I bent down to sit in a crouch, my elbows on my knees. Oof, that made the negative energy in my chest flare, but now I had to endure it.

"Can you look at me?" I asked softly.

She could. She lifted her head, slowly, and I noticed her hairline had been burnt. The skin was a pale rose, almost white, but there was still already new hair growing, although it looked as stubby as a man's beard. Half of her forehead was coloured in the same way, and then the only things I could concentrate on were the turquoise eyes. A perfect mix of green and blue, the colour of the ocean at the White Beach on Ember Island.

Kilara.

_**Kilara**_

I blinked and realised that Ozai couldn't really look so much like Zuko. He couldn't have the scar, and he definitely couldn't still look like a teenager.

My mouth opened a little, as I wanted to say his name.

Zuko.

How was that even possible?

* * *

_Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it!:) Please leave reviews!:)_

_That's the misunderstanding I was talking about in the author's note at the beginning. And my subtle hints in the last chapter were that Ozai's voice sounds young, and once soft, and that he wears black pointed boots and a cape. Ozai always wore the long, formal robes, but Zuko only wore that for his coronation. Well, maybe some fo you haven't read the comics, but in the comics, Zuko always wears pants with his boots, and an armor with a cape. Well, the other hints were the hands untouched by age, and the fact that Ozai looked exactly like Zuko. I mean, they do look pretty alike. They have the same eyebrows, eyes, nose, and I guess the rest, too, but it's difficult to see with Ozai's goatee. But I really meant exactly. Scar and all. _

_So, Kilara was actually imprisoned that long, because Ozai didn't have any time to deal with war prisoners, and it was not his top priority, so all of you who feared what might happen to Kilara in Ozai's presence, Kilara is not and has never been in Ozai's presence. I never wanted her to meet that horrible man. She suffered enough. Let's give her a break. _

_And I've got to say I'm just so happy that we're finally at this point! I hated making Kilara suffer, but it felt unrealistic to me not to do that. But now, she's surrounded by some of our favourite people from Avatar! She'll be safe, and I'm very happy about that myself!_

_When Zuko became part of the gaang in here, I promised you I would make him find out that Sokka is sometimes a bit nuts. I think I did that already, but I also mentioned that I would make Sokka say the same things to Zuko about his fight with Azula in the Boiling Rock 2 as he says to Aang after the fight with Ozai. That Zuko was just like hyaow! Rackadackdish! Badang! And Azula was more like weeeh, meeeh, weehhh. Well, I forgot that in the last chapter, so I tried to include it in here, after they're back from Boiling Rock, and Sokka tells the others about the fight on the gondola. _

_It was a little hard for me write about Zuko and Katara as just friends, and have Katara react to Aang with blushing, but this is canon compliant. However, I also quite loved to write about Zuko and Katara as friends. I think in non-Zutara fan fiction, those two never get enough time with each other. And I'm not only talking about some Kataang people who sometimes make them dislike each other. I only ever read one fic in which that was not the case, but I would have never really called them close in that fic, either. And in a world in which Katara and Zuko weren't meant to be endgame, I still would have wanted them to be friends, at least. And I hate how we were robbed of that in the comics. Or how they never met in LoK. With Toph, of course, too. Actually, Zuko's only friends from the gaang in the comics seemed to be Sokka and Aang and that's ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous. _

_The reasons Aang listed for why it made sense for Katara and Zuko to feel attracted to each other are sadly most of the time the main reasons for Zutara fans to ship them. There are way better reasons, in my opinion, as the reasons Aang mentioned are completely superficial, and Katara and Zuko are not superficial people. And what Zuko answered is, in my opinion, right, that love doesn't always make sense. I, for one, still like when it does. Espacially in books, series, or films. In real life, it doesn't have to make sense, but when you can't see how two people fall in love with each other in a series, that's quite frustrating. It was like this to me with Katara and Aang. She was his crush, then he suddenly thought he loved her (he's twelve!), then they had one moment, in which Katara liked his advances, then nothing happened again for weeks, Aang kissed her twice, she rejected him, and suddenly she likes him that much to kiss him! I mean, yes, in real life, these things sometimes happen. But series should show us a why and a how. There was quite some time between Zuko's coronoation and the scene in Ba Sing Se, so I think that's when Katara changed her mind, but we didn't get to see that. We also never got to see how Zuko and Mai became a couple. Only Sokka's relationships made sense to me. _

_I also would like to add that the vehemence with which Zuko and Katara insist that they're not a couple in the series doesn't show that they're only friends. It doesn't show that there's nothing between them. If I would be asked if a good friend of mine and I were a couple, or it would be assumed that we were one, I would laugh. I'd just be like "What? Him? Hahhahhahaha, good one.". But the way Katara and Zuko reacted always seemed more like they were afraid of someone finding out they liked each other. Or that they were trying to convince themselves that they didn't like each other. Same with the Ember Island players. When it would happen between two friends, they would start laughing, not grimacing and distance themselves from each other. Only if they really couldn't stand each other, and it's quite obvious that they at least liked each other as friends. So I tried to cool the vehemence down when Aang and Iroh thought there was something going on between Zuko and Katara. I didn't make them laugh, however, because it wouldn't have fit with the other moments in which people thought something was going on between Zuko and Katara._

_It was very important to me to make Zuko apologise to Toph for being rude during their 'field trip'. He was kind of right, they had to find Aang, but still, Toph is only twelve, and I think she thought she could bond with Zuko over having not so great parents and being forced to be someone they weren't. And he rejected this. Zuko can be such an ass, sometimes. Well, I made him apologise, also because I think he would have done it. _

_I added some direct speech within the comic scenes, because sometimes it seemed like there had to be something else between the panels. _

**_Answers to reviews: _**

_I'm answering here the reviews I got for _Hope Crushed_, since the readers left their reviews at that story and not at chapter twenty-five of this story. _

_To _Vosck_: Hey, I'm glad you liked the last chapter, and it's always nice to read a review by someone new! I hope you liked this chapter, too._

_To _uchihaNaruto247: _Well, as you see, you don't have to worry about Kilara being in Ozai's presence:D Yeah, their excuses for joining the nonbender club were weird, but Zuko was there because of the pai sho tournament, and I had to work with that. How he got dragged in there, and how Katara caught him was invented by me, but when Aang caught him, that was in the comic. I guess the comic was just from Aang's POV, so I had to come up with a few things to tell it from Zuko's. Suki getting tortured by Azula did not happen in the show. I think that would have been too brutal for a kids' show. And it's not really my original twist, as I read it in several fanfics already. I always thought it didn't make sense, and why would Azula even visit Suki? But then I remembered how Azula told Sokka about her 'favourite prisoner' in the invasion episode, and that Suki always mentioned Sokka. And why would Azula come to the Boiling Rock? She couldn't know that Zuko was there. I still feel like it's weird, but in the moment when I wrote about Kilara at Boiling Rock it made sense to me. But Azula would prefer psychological torture over physical, I think. We also later got to see Suki in a bikini, and she hasn't any scars, so whatever happened to her, it couldn't be that bad. More of a mental damage, I'd think.  
_


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